we’ve heard the story ad nauseum

boy meets bonita. boy likes bonita. bonita likes boy, but despite boy’s good enunciation and earning potential, doesn’t like him like that due to boy’s unimpressive height, melanin, swagger, and lack of ability to properly recite and recall lyrics from the blueprint. boy moves on, meets bianca, blair, and botswana, and rinses, washes, and repeats with each to same results.

boy meets becky. becky offers easy benevolence and easier flat blond back. excessively backed up boy bones sh*t out of becky, breaking flat back and immediately becomes becky’s black buck boyfriend. months later, now banker boy buys brand new benz, beeming bleached alabaster veeners while brandishing becky at black bike week. a brooding and barren bonita beholds this, berates boy beneath bated breath and unabashedly blasts boy at bi-quarterly zeta phi beta bbq.

although usually dismissed as an urban legend told by mundane black men who feel that courteousness should equal automatic coochie, in “what single women can learn from michelle“, jenee desmond harris writes that barry o could have very easily been the aforementioned boy if not for young chelly robinson’s insight

“She must have focused on an abundance of goodness instead of his hint of goofiness and fixated on a warm smile instead of a pair of oversized ears. It’s easy to see now that he was a great catch, but how many of us would have been open to this guy who strayed so far from the black Prince Charming ideal, starting with his very name?”

before i continue, i have to say that i don’t entirely agree with her premise or david swerdlick’s strange rebuttal.

i mean, even the most superficially discriminatory young black women i know aren’t gonna continually dismiss the harvard law grad beating down their door. plus, and lets be real, although she’s definitely a stunning and charming woman now, michelle obama aint exactly the second coming of cleopatra. i doubt anyone, including her, thought she was settling or slumming when accepting barack’s advances.

despite this, the latent points remain true:

barack obama has replaced hill harper as the patron saint of bandwagon attraction, and when it comes to dating and relationships, we (black men and women) consistently value the wrong sh*t…

…or not.

who knows?

i do know, though, that i’ve heard this all before, and i’m sure you have to0.

since today’s about hope and change and sh*t, tell me, people of vsb.com, what the hell is the right sh*t?

—the champ