Do What You’re Supposed To Do So You Don’t Have To “Do What I Gotta” Do

[***Today's post is a guest post from VSB commenter, Breazy Hale. He blogs at the site Corner Politics. Spread love it's the Brooklyn way. Clap for him.***]

Through out my short 33 years on this earth, I’ve heard the ”I gotta do what I gotta do” excuse from men countless times. Normally the person saying this has found himself in a desperate situation – back against the wall – and ends up doing something he otherwise wouldn’t do to get out of the situation.  While I’m not knocking the next man’s hustle or coping skills, I’ve come to realize that these “back against the wall situations” could have been prevented 9 times out of 10.

For some reason, us menfolk like to make things harder on ourselves than they have to be. Cutting corners?  That, along with taking the easy way out, is our norm. Because of the “do what I gotta do” excuse some of us men have, we’ve removed all accountability out of the equation in order to not be held to standards of mandom and to justify things like  dropping out of school, selling dope or being an absentee father.

“I gotta do what I gotta do” isn’t limited to the youngins wearing skinny jeans, dreads and listening to Lil’ Wayne, either - even though you would think so due to the influence that rap and YouTube has on this generation and the “I gotta get mine” attitude that is displayed.  Now some of our elders have used this excuse, probably as long as they’ve been alive, and you see them - grown men old enough to be our uncles and fathers - standing outside of liquor stores at 8:00 in the morning waiting for it to open. Or you see the old man playing scratch offs still waiting for his ship to come in. All because at some point in their lives they didn’t take care of business like they should have and decided to go the easy route.  This cancerous idea is learned and is no doubt passed down from generation to generation.

This attitude arises when we as men fail to reach our full potential and realize some of the fundamentals of manhood, so we start to justify our short comings.  Mainly we fail to realize one of the fundamentals of manhood; a man’s gotta do what a man is supposed to do.  You see, if a man takes care of business and does the things that he is supposed to do, then he won’t be forced to compromise himself and his beliefs by doing what he’s gotta do.  I repeat:  if a man takes care of business  and does the things that he is supposed to do he then won’t be forced to compromise himself and his beliefs by doing what he’s gotta do.

Doing what is supposed to be done may take a little longer or involve more steps but the reward is worth it. The certificate or degree that you earn from staying in school instead of dropping out to chase the fast buck will be yours and no one can take that from you, just like the sense of pride that you will have from being involved in your child’s life as opposed to skipping out.  So man up, take care of business like you’re supposed to, and reap all the benefits that you will gain as you travel down the road to becoming a better man.

-BREAZY HALE

DC VSB folks: Don’t forget that tomorrow night at Liv Nightclub is Karaoke 4 A Cause from 630-1030PM! Entry is a toy ($20 or greater in value) or a $20 donation. Get your karaoke on and pretend your Loofa for the cause.

F*ck It, It Was My Birthday Anyway

Gotcha, b*tch!!! Happy birthday!

One of the more famous and oft-quoted skits in the reading ninja community is track 6 off of André 3000 from Outkast’s The Love Below album. The skit is entitled “Where Are My Panties?” No need to link it or quote the whole thing because if you don’t know it, I feel sorry for your mother. Or mudda.

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve personally told, “ooooh, I just wanna lay in yo’ haaaaaaaaaiyah.” In fact, I’m sure that skit did more for women with natural hair than TCB, white men, and Angela Davis combined. Now, the most intriguing part of it was when the chick says the famous lines:

“He gon’ think I’m a ho. F*ck that, I liked it. I was drunk and it was my birthday anyway. Maybe I should just lay here and let him touch my booty.”

While I’m sure that nearly every woman has had a “where are my panties?” moment (and trust me ladies, most of us guys wake up wondering where your panties are too…sooner we find them, sooner you go home), I wonder how many have been as a result of some chick really being on some, “f*ck it’s my birthday…” steez.

Basically, how many of you dames out there really invoke the “Anything Goes On My Birthday” mantra to excuse doing something that you probably shouldn’t have not had done? I’m really curious about this because I can’t exactly imagine a non-effeminate straight dude making such a proclomation and getting away with it at all. I’m guessing most guys ain’t trying to rationalize it so much as just hoping nothing bad comes from it. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it one time: the greatest victory is waking up after a drunken one night stand to a ripped open condom wrapper on the floor. That’s when you hit the *Giada de Laurentiis tiny fist hand clap* and the *Tiger Woods fist pump* in succession. My brothas out there know what I’m talking about. Not that I’d know from firsthand experience or anything.

Granted, any and all of this requires you to actually tell somebody else what you did and then following it up with the birthday rationalization and that might make the whole thing moot.

Luckily, here at VSB most of us don’t really know eachother so letting the beans spill ain’t no Biggie. Shyne.

But that makes me wonder what are valid “it was my birthday” rationalizations. Here’s my guess-list.

1. Smanging a dolphin an ex

I imagine that more women get them some comfort wang during birthday week than any other week of the year, assuming she’s single. Also, do any men actually take more than the day to celebrate their birthday? Like a birthday week? A weekend might be okay, but a dude celebrating a week or month? Diva dude with a**north tendencies.

2. Making out with a chick

We’ve covered to various degree random chick hookups and I’m too lazy to go back and find them but I can see a chick being like “hey, it’s my birthday…yay…come here Maria!!! *tongue down*”

3. Totally losing their sh*t behind somebody not going with the plan

Mi hombres? We’ll usually be like “f*ck it, let him roll” but I think women get extra emotional points to use on the America Express during their birthday shenanigans so if somebody doesn’t go along to get along, women can act out. I’m only saying this because I’ve seent it with my own to eyes followed by, “that b*tch knows its my birthday. She better come correct.”

4. Extreme indulgence

Chocolate. Clothing. Shoes. Staples. Pencil lead. Coffee mug. Telephones.

Brick Tamland: I love…carpet. I love…desk.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?

Brick Tamland: I love lamp.

Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.

Ahem.

I’ve seen women splurge on things with the passion of Mel Gibson on their birthdays. And there really ain’t nothing you can say to ‘em. Everybody deserves to be spoilted I suppose.

5. Feeling up Panama Jackson in the club 

This almost never happens.

So ladies, do you live by that mantra? And if so, what exactly constitutes something you can get away with because it’s your birthday? To the homeys out there, have you ever tried to invoke such a rule? And how’d that go? Have you ever been apart of some woman’s birthday shenanigans?

Talk to me. Petey.

It’s Friday, people. I came to bring the pain.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka DUSTY VAUGHAN aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3