You all will have to excuse me right about now, my hands are as full as hands can get. Pappy-dom is one really long day, I’m learning.
Antywho.
Here at VSB.com, The Champ and I love to argue the merits of the male-female interactionary process. It’s what we do. We do it, and do it, and do it well. Word to LL. We love to discuss the problems that occur between us all – and boy are there many. But would we be doing our jobs if we also didn’t help to mend relationships? Methinks not.
I’ve had a girlfriend for quite some time now and we have great and funderful times. But at times, we also argue. We’s people and people argue on occasion. I think its in the water along with lead, asbestos, and Roseanne Barr’s 98 Triple F bra. Or at least it is if you live in DC.
Zing!
If you’re like any other human out there, the good thing about arguing is the make-up lovin’ that occurs afterwards. But the mean-time (pun intended) between-time is usually a pain. I mean who wants to fight? So let’s say that you’re in the midst of an argument and you’re getting more and more pissed. Emotions are at an all-time high and she just said something about your mama.
Before you slap the dogmess out of here, take a step back and realize that you no longer have to argue. You should release that tension in another way. You’re fighting so you can’t exactly suggest some of that lick-em-high-lick-em-low without seeming like an insensitive prick. So my suggestion?
Thought you’d never ask. Here are 5 ways to divert all of that negative energy into productive and positive emotions. Non-sexually.
1) Wii Boxing - Generally speaking, you both would LIKE to slap the monkeyshine sh*t out of eachother anyway, so why not do it via some good old fashioned video-gaming. Plus, as much effort as it takes to play Boxing on the Wii, you’ll both be so exhausted after round 3 that you’ll give up on the fight anyway. (Honorable Mention – Super Mario Kart Racing on the Wii)
2) Scrabble – Every means of diverting energy doesnt’ have to be physical. If you break out scrabble, you’re forced to use different senses and the mental exhiliration of whipping your partner’s arse with a word like axyiomatic will aleve some of the ill will you have towards his mothers devil spawn. Besides, knowledge is power.
Also, sharing is caring, kids. Sharing is caring.
The more you know.
*ding*
3) Twister – You really just want to feel eachother up anyway so why not spin some wheels, and put your foot on the green. And you get the opportunity to push him or her around so that they fall on the ground. Now of course, this may piss of your partner more, BUT you can always just claim anti-dexterity. I’m almost convinced that Twister could solve the MidEast conflict.
4) Taebo – Similar to Wii Boxing only not at all since you’re not really fighting anybody, but group workout sessions let you get that angry energy out in the form of highly suspect arm and leg motions. Two extra points if you both throw on lycra since who can stay mad when you’re doing high kicks and butt bumps with a partner who’s wearing shiny tights? Not me!
5) Paintball - Have you ever been paintballing? If you can’t work out your aggression by physically shooting somebody then you two just shouldn’t be together. Period. And similar to Wii Boxing, violence is what we want to do anyway, so get to it, thugsta.
********
Now that I’ve laid out a few ways to help you all sidestep all the unnecessary physical exertion that occurs before the make-up lovin’, help me help others. What are some other non-lovexual means for releasing tension? 10 points for the most creative, fully functional, and clearly positive way to work out that negative energy faster than a Macy’s Shiatsu back massager.
And by 10 points, I mean a hearty pat on the back from somebody at some point in history that probably won’t be named Panama.
Woosah.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
alright, new to the site and claiming *first*
@mscharqueno, welcome…to the house.
@mscharqueno,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
@mscharqueno,
I know its my duty… but people claiming “first” on blogs makes me twinge.. so I waited until the twinging stopped.
Welcome!!
** Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
@blackberry molasses,
*whispers to bbmo…me too*
@mscharqueno, welcome! i love n00bs.
@Liz,
Boobs? Where?
Music (my anti-drug)… if Biggie can do it beat-boxing to Fay-fay (see Notorious… no really go see it, it’s in theaters NOW)… then you too can do it making mix-cds for ________________ (insert name of recipient there)…
easy to do… with great potential outcomes… see Love Jones “Nina can I play something for you?” (although most of you already have…)
extra points for use of “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” – War
@Jay_Delicious, i’m with you. i think you can use music for anything. though…i’m a pretty bad person. i remember a LONG time ago, while in high school, me and my girlfriend got into an argument and in my attempts to “tell her how i felt thru music” i put on “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate”.
yeah, that didn’t go over so well. started a WHOLE NEW argument.
@Panama Jackson,
I do not blame her!
@Panama Jackson,
Phenominal effort. So sorry it fell on obtuse ears.
@Panama Jackson,
evidently art is defined through the eye (or ear in this case) of the beholder i had a similar experience with Donell Jones’ “Where I Wanna Be”…
@Panama Jackson,
I have a whole “Piss Him Off” playlist. Like, that’s actually the title. It begins with Rose Royce’s with “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore,” Tamia’s “Me” and “Stranger in My House,” then polishes things off with the Ojay’s “She Used to Be My Girl” and Betty Wright’s “This Used to Be Your House (Now it’s another man’s home).”
Musical warfare is fun.
@Nikiloveli, DAAAAMMMMnn *note to self don’t mess w/ Nikiloveli*
@WuDaMan,
What? ***blinks innocently***
@Nikiloveli, I’m just saying your playlist was like a frog’s blood @ the southpole.
@WuDaMan,
Darn. I was going for witch nipples in Michigan.
“witch nipples in Michigan”
this, btw, is also the title of kwame kilpatricks upcoming memoirs
@The Champ,
LOL. You’se a idgit.
@Jay_Delicious, Word up w/ the War.
@WuDaMan,
gracias, mucho gracias
PJ I gotta disagree.. in my house we go hard..the items you named (excluding twister) will turn fun in the sun into a night of all out war fare … if there is angst in the air it is best we stay away from all competition… we come out of it by writing to each other… or music I dont even know if he realizes he does it but when we have gotten into it good he will be playing the saddest music.. it almost always makes me cave.. I cook for him when I have messed up… who can be mad over extra creamy a$$ mac and cheese?
@Shay-d-lady, its okay to disagree with me, Shay. as long as you realize that you are wrong. LOL.
if you can fight over Scrabble, you can fight over mac and cheese. i’ve seen two aunties get into an argument over who cleaned the collard greens bestest.
@Panama Jackson,
i’ve seen two aunties get into an argument over who cleaned the collard greens bestest.
at one thanksgiving, my late great aunt and late grandmother got into an argument about who had the better jello. in this five minute blow-up i heard maybe 4 of the 12 best insults ive ever heard before in my life
we actually thought they were gonna go to blows.
@The Champ,
Can you repeat said insults? I’d love to add them to my arsenal
@Luvvie, Word Life Son. Growing up in my family I have become a connoisseur of creative calamitous coursings.
@WuDaMan,
I stan for you for that adorable use of awesome alliteration.
@Luvvie,
Can you repeat said insults? I’d love to add them to my arsenal
no
@The Champ, LOL but no one has provided any evidence of a mac and cheese war between Lovers..yall know you aint never put a girl out who is putting well made mac and cheese in your mouth….
@shay-d-lady,
are you really talking about mac and cheese?
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
e-twin… stop it. I can’t die today
@blackberry molasses,
LOL!!! Okay…I’ll behave.
@blackberry molasses,
I think our e-triplet had a legitimate question.
@miss t-lee,
Good querstion. U kno Shayd been slightly hot and bothered in her posts 2day lol
@shay-d-lady,
yall know you aint never put a girl out who is putting well made mac and cheese in your mouth….
is there such a thing as a quadruple entendre?
@The Champ,
There is now…lol
He will also rub my back and arms very softly with the tips of his fingers while I am in that almost sleep awake zone and then when I wake up we are all nestled together.. LOL I cant be mad while being nestled especially if its cold!
my hubby wears a bald fade so if he is mad and laying down I rub his head.. he tries to fight it but he can never resist…
we also wrestle…and that most often leads to… well ..naked wrestling…
@Shay-d-lady, i think you just wanted to use the word nestle.
@Panama Jackson,
i think she was just horny
@The Champ, @Panama Jackson, Ok I do like the word nestle.. it just puts you in the mindset of being.. well, nestly…LOL but no I wasnt horny but normally when I am mad I dont like to be touched, he likes to wait until I am almost asleep when my defenses are low because then I dont have the energy to be slapping his hand away and being mad…
@Shay-d-lady,
Methinks you need a cold shower lol
@Luvvie,
said the lady who needed some. lol
@WuDaMan,
Hush you entire face. Shut yo mouth wide open!
@Luvvie, I know you want some one to plug up yo second mouth but does that mean everyone needs to shut all mouths. Go do some cardio do the matrix (bullet time n e 1)
“Luvvie, I know you want some one to plug up yo second mouth but does that mean everyone needs to shut all mouths…”
*DEAD*
@WuDaMan,
Umm methinks you is just projecting YOUR desire to have ur nether regioned cyclop engulfed in someone’s soft taco. N’est pas?
@Luvvie,
*Crying*
I’m snickering at the both of you over here.
@Luvvie,
I died exactly 1385 tiny deaths reading this exchange.
What are some other non-lovexual means for releasing tension?
Walking/Running – Good for releaving tension
Video games/pool – great stress reliever
Music/Dancing – Good music will instantly change my mood
Tennis – Good way to get your aggression out
@Leila, i tried the tennis thing before….except i don’t have any tennis rackest so we just used album covers and pieces of paper for the balls.
we broke a lamp.
@Panama Jackson,
*giggling*
@Panama Jackson, lol!
@Leila,
Exercise in general is great to do with you’re lady or man.
I hate running, but a little time in the weight room will have you so tired you won’t want to argue anymore.
Plus you’ll both be all sweaty afterward…..
First off, it is HILARIOUS to me to see PeeJay up in the middle of the night, thanks to Pana-Montana! I love it! I always root for the baby! Go lil’ PJ!!
Secondly…what I do. I write all my anger stuff on a piece of paper, stab the paper a bunch of times w/a sharp object then put it in an envelope. Then I put it in my prayer box. The envelope binds it and the prayer box sends it to Jesus, ASAP.
Then, its all better.
No ma’am.
@PBG,
Secondly…what I do. I write all my anger stuff on a piece of paper, stab the paper a bunch of times w/a sharp object then put it in an envelope. Then I put it in my prayer box. The envelope binds it and the prayer box sends it to Jesus, ASAP.
this comment is a smörgåsbord of wrong.
@The Champ,
Wrong is relative.
You and Aif Wondra both need to stop fakin’ & recognize my gangsta.
@PBG,
No.
@8th Wonder,
No. kills me ERRTIME! LMAO!
@PBG,
OK LMAO @ Pana-Montana. U dumb.
Basketball
It’s always fun to take your girl and play horse and drop some rediculous shot from behind the backboard and act like you do it on an everyday basis. The look on her face is priceless and it’s funny until she hits the shot and gives you that same look.
Does that only happen to me? Damn
There’s nothing funnier then seeing the him trying to get all King James on me……then trying to compute the fact that I just made the same shots.
HI-larious
@A-Town Genius,
Does that only happen to me?
yup.
@A-Town Genius,
YES! I concur. Me and my guy used to go play Basketball in college and we’d talk sh*t (by we, I mostly mean Me, but semantic semantic). Was a great bonding activity. And seeing him make them jumpshots was HAWT. lol
@Luvvie, I concur. I love it when they get sweaty and all into the game.
@Leila,
I love it when they get sweaty and all into the game
me too.
we’re talking about strippers, right?
cooking. competitive cooking. if i out-cook the rice-and-stew out of you without anyone getting stabbed with a kitchen knife, i can’t really stay mad long. plus good food always puts me in a good mood. and me in a good mood leads to…. other good things.
@puff,
competitive cooking?
@puff,
YESSSS to the rice and stew. Abeg, Puff make u na send me a calabash of some next time, abi?
Turning on some mellow music… who can argue through Floetry’s “Getting Late”?
@Nicki Sunshine,
hee-hee. This would solve all arguments.
@miss t-lee, Especially the end part, I really feeling like I’m invading in one someone’s privacy…. LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yes ma’am.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I could. I’d rather hear Black Moon
@Deviant, You’ve gotta tell me about this Black Moon. I don’t think I’ve heard it before.
@Nicki Sunshine,
go here
http://www.duckdown.com
its just great hip hop
I’m very critical when it comes to music. If you don’t like Black Moon I consider your judgement of what good hip hop is suspect.
@Deviant, Okay, I’m checking it out now… I see Heltah Skeltah… they had this song back in the day that I LOVED… I can’t remember what it was called though.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Probly Operation Lockdown. Everyone loved that song. the album they just dropped (D.I.R.T.) is good too.
They was on that Fab 5 joint too.
@Deviant, WOW… I’m really outta touch. I didn’t even know they were doing stuff still.. My head has been into stuff like Lil Brotha, the Roots, Kanye…
Here is the one I was off of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1VD4llI2qo
@Deviant,
the Fab 5 joint with Blah on the B side…classic
They stay puttin out music. Buckshot did a few collabos with 9th Wonder of Little Brother. You need to check em out.
@Deviant: Thanks for putting me up on that. I will be checking it out
@Nicki,
Thats what I like to do for people. I’m on a crusade to get people to stop listening to craptastic music.
@Deviant,
me too. or cappadonna. i beg someone to try to argue through “the pillage”
@The Champ,
dayum shame.
@The Champ,
Check for A Nigga was the sh!t
and Slang Editorial
@Deviant,
My slang is editorial, explicit material…
I find something to laugh at…if I’m not laughing already. Sometimes it works, most times it makes him mad, which in turn makes me laugh harder….it’s a vicious cycle.
I’m not one of those people who can stay mad forever, I attribute this to being lazy and holding on to grudges, angry feelings, etc…means extra work. Which is tiring in and of itself. Although, I have been so mad at someone that I put him out in the middle of the night and since he flew down to visit, he had no where to go but the front stoop til I let him back in a few hours later, where he met his belongings and a pillow on the floor.
@Ro,
I’m not one of those people who can stay mad forever, I attribute this to being lazy and holding on to grudges, angry feelings, etc…means extra work.
i’m the same way. its too time-consuming to hold a grudge. that time could be better spent eating cake or whistling or something
@The Champ,
Whistling is indeed fun, especially to the tune of that old Ron Howard comedy. The name escapes me for the moment
@Luvvie, i can’t whistle
@SouthernGirl, haha
@SouthernGirl,
You were neva taught how to whitle? My 3 yr old nephew practiced for a whole afternoon till he mastered the art of whistling.
@SouthernGirl, I cant either…
@SouthernGirl,
erry girl needs to know how to whistle. and you do know how… just put your lips together and BLOW.
@blackberry molasses,
E-twin…and you telling me to behave?
LMAO!!!
@blackberry molasses, lmao! it doesn’t work!!!
@miss t-lee,
I’m sorry. I just can’t help myself. I’ve tried to wash my dirty mind. Even sent it out for professional cleaning. To no avail.
@SG
BLOW HARDER!!
LMAO!!
@blackberry molasses,
This made me think of YinYang Twins’ “Whistle While You Twerk” for some reason.
@Monk,
*singing*
Ying Yang in this thang!!!
@Luvvie,
The Andy Griffith Show. Once I get to whistling that in my head the tune takes days to leave!
@The Champ, I take after my mom. She could never hold a grudge even if she got really mad. By the next day, it was like the argument never happened and I’m the same way.
@Ro, i need to take a lesson from you….I don’t hold grudges per se, but i do need space after an argument. i don’t want to see you, smell you, hear you, or feel you until I have had my time and space to get over it. looking at me or talking to me only results in further agitation. it takes me at least an hour of solitude to move on…i’m trying to do better!
@kalia
I’m the same way and I’m not working on a d@mn thing. I know it’s just the way I am. Just leave me alone and let me have my moment.
This usually happens only when I feel like the situation is not really resolved. Or I feel like you’re just saying sh!t to end the discussion/arguement and aren’t really feeling or meaning what you’re saying. If I feel like it’s resolved then we can cuddle and sh!t.
@SouthernGirl, i agree on the resolution issue…i’ve been reading this book about boundaries in relationships and it described this idea of time and space as a “grieving period”…so for me, post-argument, i need time to grieve over that fact that a) you violated me, b) i didn’t get my way, or c) i violated you and disappointed myself and now i feel bad. i don’t think i ever feel like things are resolved until i “grieve”…then we can cuddle
unfortunately my hubby sees this as withdrawl and punishment for him, hence our favorite couple’s phrase.. “it’s not always about you!”…….can a sister grieve in peace?
@kalia,
i’ve been reading this book about boundaries in relationships and it described this idea of time and space as a “grieving period”
is the title of said book “relationships for assh*les”?
@The Champ, awww what u trying to say buddy?? i am so feeling the “grief” idea….i will admit that i’m spoiled so when things don’t go well it takes me a min to get over it. ima send u a copy
when it warm out we go mini golfing
when its cold we go bowling
….imo two unnecessarily competitive sports but still a touch mellow.
or we just have crossword puzzle marathons…nothing like some J5′s or A10′s to cool things out….unless you get heated over squares,idk.
@MillieJ,
or we just have crossword puzzle marathons
while you’re having these crossword puzzle marathons, do you clip your pocket-protectors to your tweet turtlenecks, or are they already built in?
@The Champ,
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Naw Champ.
Clearly, the pocket protectors are inside the case of the taped glasses. I bet they use limited edition Star Wars ballpoint pens too.
@Luvvie,
i don’t know about you, but this nerd doesn’t get down with the taped glasses….Cavalli frames all the way…..
@The Champ,
yes,as a matter a fact we do.
@MillieJ,
cool beans
@MillieJ,
I co-sign on the crosswords puzzle marathon. It does indeed calm tensions.
@MillieJ,
I prefer Sudoku myself
Two words:
Battle Rap.
Just taking the time to think about clever wordplay alleviates some of the angst and tension among you. Also, you write your rhymes in different rooms giving some moments of space between you. Now the the key is, don’t ever get too personal on some real life shyt. Also, if you slip in little, sly flirty lyrics here and there, you’re sure to lighten the mood.
This may sound corny to some, so sue me.
I’m So HipHop.
@Monk,
@MDUBB,
Sorry about that, like I was saying
That’s so dope!
I would say snapping on each other in general could get ugly though, cause you already know she gon say something ef’d about your momma
@Monk,
freestyle battle rap…hmmm I like it.
Even though my flow is like molasses coming out of jar in winter…lol
@miss t-lee, too much screwed n chop eh. Welcome to the club.
@WuDaMan,
hahahahah.
walks off singing *drank in my cup, mayne hol’ up*
I don’t know about your list, because we me and wifey get into it . . . .man oh man!!!!!
Me and my lady keep the peace by rolling some good green because that calms both of our nerves. During our session we start talking and then magically our clothes disappear. I know crazy right?
I would also suggest watching an episode of Family Guy while the both of you are mad. How could anyone keep a screw face while watching Family Guy? And if Family Guy is not your thing watch something else that would have the same effect.
BTW – me and wifey got into it the other day and out of no where that damn Ne-yo song came on. yeah he’s a little zesty but that song is the damn truth
@eff yo couch,
the “let’s not go to bed mad at each other” song? i can’t stand when a song like that comes when i’m upset and makes me feel guilty
@kalia,
In the words of John McCain “that one”. yes
@eff yo couch,
“Mad” by Ne-Yo is MY SH*T!! Like for real, it does play in my head now when I get mad and its like the angel on my shoulder thats saying “Talk bout it. Dont go to bed mad”.
*Sigh* I love Ne-Yo and his shiny fedoras and juicy-tubed lips. What he lacks in masculinity, he makes up for in songwriting.
@Luvvie, Sigh* I love Ne-Yo and his shiny fedoras and juicy-tubed lips. What he lacks in masculinity, he makes up for in songwriting.
I’m wit u, Luvvie. I luvs me some Ne-Yo!
@Panama
Sisters with voices?
@eff yo couch, i too was confused by the title
@eff yo couch,
cuz they probably usin em to yuck mouth you and all you stand for and came from. @ least that is what I gathered when he said it came on down to talkin about your Mama. smh
@WuDaMan,
it does make sense
@eff yo couch,
I’ve been tryin’ to figure this one out too. I remember in the “Weak” video by SWV there was a boxing match, but I’m not sure if that’s it…
*shrugging shoulders*
Dance Dance Revolution (PS2)!! We battle each other…good times.
@kalia,
DDR has gotta be the dorkiest game EVER. No one looks anything remotely cool while doing it. In fact, everytime I think about DDR, I think bout the Asian kids who used to battle each other in college on it. They be TOO serious too.
@Luvvie, i aspire to be like those kids! when i first saw the game at a random arcade in california i was amazed by them. i agree its dorky but we have so much fun doing it. i never would have thought that my hubby would be into it but he is better at it than i am…we are practicing to battle against his sister and brother-n-law at the next family gathering. they are into it now after watching how much we love it, lol (wow, luvvie you are right, i feel quite lame even writing this…..ah well)
Music and play fighting.
They both can lead to the goods and hey…after an argument you were gonna get there anyway…
@miss t-lee, Play fighting is fun. Wrestling is another good one.
@Leila,
Figure four leg lock!!!!
@miss t-lee,
“play” wrestling is good, at least until i get an erection. then it becomes, “ummm, ok. if we continue wrestling instead of boning, you’ll probably injure me” wrestling.
other than sex (and maybe standing in a mirror) its never any fun to do anything with an erection
@The Champ,
* sniggling*
Yeah…play fighting can only go so far, and that’s normally when something “pops” up…all games are over…lol
It’s all fun and games until somebody’s pants come off.
@MillieJ,
**snicker**
““play” wrestling is good, at least until i get an erection. then it becomes, “ummm, ok. if we continue wrestling instead of boning, you’ll probably injure me” wrestling.”
Champ, remove yourself from my life right now.
What are some other non-lovexual means for releasing tension?
1. Cooking together
2. Wrestling/the tickle game
3. Walks
4. Dancing- Salsa, Samba, African
5. Basketball- women please let the man win LOL!
6. Telling funny stories from the past
7. Listen to music- each partner set up a playlist and have the other guess the artist or song, or just share a memory related to the song.
@Ivy St.,
the tickle game?
@Ivy St., i love number 7. i try to play songs to send messages to my sweetie, but he is one of those strange people who don’t listen to words of songs. unfortunate. i don’t get how people can NOT listen to the words….i can’t block them out….which is why i can’t stand the song “Too Close” by Next to this day. (they were playing it this morning on sister sister and it reminded me of how much i despise the song…tres trifling)…tangent over
@kalia,
I can’t stand that dayum song either… for the reason you stated but ALSO because from 1999-2002 (aka the College Years) that song was the ubiquitous ‘time to work on getting the pannies’ song at white boy frat parties around the world. And they thought that shyt worked on the sistas especially, because Next was an R&B group…. sorry DUDE, but you are getting NEXTED.
rant over. carry on.
@kalia,
i try to play songs to send messages to my sweetie, but he is one of those strange people who don’t listen to words of songs
honestly, i dont listen to words in most r&b songs either. basically, i treat r&b the way most people treat rap
Well historically, when me and my gf at the time got angry w/ each other: we had drinking competitions, which always ended great (great angy drunken chex) or miserably (she threw up all over the place)
@From Da Hip Peyso,
I’m sorry but drunken chex is not fun. Neither one of u have anything resembling balance, plus double alcohol breath equals EEWWWW
@Luvvie,
#1) neither of u can smell breathe nor ru thinking of it
#2) if u do smell it, u remember that ur breathe is just as bad
#3) who needs balance?
@Luvvie,
I’m sorry but drunken chex is not fun
you’re young, so i’ll excuse this statement as just pure ignorance.
@The Champ, This only holds true is one party is drunker than the other. If both of you are equally eff up, this can come off pretty dayum good. But I mean you cant be tipsy off of some wine and he comes in after going shot for shot with the boys for half the night. Having to worry about if he is going to hurl while on top of you is not sessy at all.
The key to good drunken ses is both party being on the same level of drunkeness.
“I’m sorry but drunken chex is not fun”
WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Blasphemy.
@The Champ,
Young DEEZ!!!
@Luvvie,
Maybe not sloppy drunken chex, but tipsy chex is definitely the bomb.
@Plain Ole Sula,
Yeah tipsy chex is one thing. But all out drunk chex? Umm… yeah it aint utopian
P-I dont know about the twister. I might try to kick you in the back by accident.(I used to do this to one of my college boyfriends. Everytime he pissed me off I would kick him in his sleep and then pretend like I was snoring myself whe he woke up)
I would definately suggest putting on some music and singing at the top of your lungs.
Pulling out all of the cards, letters, stuffed animals, gifts etc and putting them on the dining room table and re-reading everything. The first time I did this, my ex was like WTH, I told ‘I am trying to remind myself why I love your punk arse. This one usually leads to you all talking about old times.
Playing cards. Tonk, 500, Gin Rummy, Spades, Solitary, h3ll even memory. Dont speak unless you are telling me to cut the cards. Just sit there and flip the cards
@Suga&Spice,
dayum…memory. I haven’t played that in soooo long.
@Suga&Spice, that cards sounds like a good idea except my jawn dont know how to play no cards
@From Da Hip Peyso, Teach her. Start with something basic like Tonk. Dont even tell her ahead of time. Just pour her a drink, deal the cards and call her to the table. When she says she doesnt know how to play, just say ‘baby let me teach you.’ Should work like a charm
@From Da Hip Peyso,
I was actually going to suggest Uno myself. I’m not much of a cards player, so this game is for me.
Plus, it brings out alot of sh*t talking and emotions. The person who keeps loosing is instantly humbled, and I, I mean the winner, usually feels better at the end.
@Dom,
I was actually going to suggest Uno myself. I’m not much of a cards player, so this game is for me.
playing uno is like going to arbys. you’re never really excited to do it, but it doesnt let you down either
@Dom,
“Plus, it brings out alot of sh*t talking and emotions. The person who keeps loosing is instantly humbled, and I, I mean the winner, usually feels better at the end.”
I’ll agree with this Dom. I love hollerin’ “DRAW FOUR MUAFUGGA!!” right before sayin’ “Uno…I’m out!!”
I thought it was just me.
@Suga&Spice,
I would suggest Spades, this is almost as dangerous as a crap game in the hood when money is involved. And don’t let a ninga renege or as they say in the movie “Welcome home Rasco Jenkins” a renigg**
@eff yo couch, heck no….my husband has found a way to renege in 80% of the spades games we have played together….it just leads to more problems…i get agitated just thinking about playing spades with him, lol
@kalia, I’m sorry but this is the funniest shyt evuh. lmao. You don’t think it’s funny that he be tryin to cheat to win.
@kalia,
Umm 80% renigging in Spades is grounds for divorce. LOL just… kidding. Or am I?
But do tell… Ho does one renig that many times?? He just needs to never play spades. EVER.
@Luvvie, Yeah we need to see his bid whist action.
@eff yo couch, spades games gone bad always end family get togethers
@eff yo couch,
reneges are only bad if they are accidental (ppl not knowing how to play, or ppl not paying attn). a true spades champion can renege without getting caught. if you aren’t called on it, it’s a non-issue.
@Gem of 6Burgh,
if you aren’t called on it, it’s a non-issue.
…and a cheater
@Suga&Spice,
Spades is NOT the game to play when you’re mad. We have talked bout this befre, but Spades can end relationships. That is ONE game Black folk REALLY take personal.
“We ain’t spoken in 20 years.”
“Why?”
“Because that punk renigged on the FIRST BOOK!!” WTF?”
“Oh, well yeah I understand”
@Luvvie, Yeah this is true. I still have a home girl I will not sit at the table with for some shyt she pulled in The CAU Rec back in 99.
@Suga&Spice,
Hahahaaa!! I remember the rec days…lol.
@Suga&Spice,
(I used to do this to one of my college boyfriends. Everytime he pissed me off I would kick him in his sleep and then pretend like I was snoring myself whe he woke up)
**reminding self to never sleep in same bed as suga&spice**
@Suga&Spice,
LMAO @ kicking the man in his sleep!
@Nikiloveli, That is what he gets for trying to avoid me and play that dayum madden till two in the morning or going for a walk to ‘cool off’! I got you playa. Trying to be all reasonable and shyt.
So I would wait until he started to snore real heavy and either kick his legs or elbow him in the back.
I was just trying to make sure we didnt go to sleep angry.hehehe..
@Suga&Spice,
“How could she be so heartlessss…”
Damn.
@Suga&Spice
“Everytime he pissed me off I would kick him in his sleep and then pretend like I was snoring myself whe he woke up”
I do this too!!! Don’t let him be drunk, me mad and/or horny……..Not a good look.
@Suga&Spice, I don’t know how to play spades and I always manage to disappear into the crowd if someone i’m dating asks me to play. I may have to sneak away to spades camp because I have yet to meet a brotha who doesn’t know how to play.
@miss patterson,
You’re not alone.
Reading the spades exchange was like trying to translate mandarin chinese.
@miss t-lee,
now you know how them other girls feel about football.
co-incidentally, i have never let my bestest friend in the world forget about the Renegging Incident of 2004. We now have a standing rule that we do not play with or against each other in spades tourneys…. it.gets.ugly.
@blackberry molasses,
“now you know how them other girls feel about football.”
You’re right…good one…lol
Spades, spades can’t get damn near violent but it’s just a game so gets some spades going. Go see a movie, you cant talk during a movie so it gives ya’ll time to relax for a second, but don’t go see some lifetime type stuff. She’ll be 10 times more angry at you.
@J. McFly,
Go see a movie, you cant talk during a movie so it gives ya’ll time to relax for a second, but don’t go see some lifetime type stuff. She’ll be 10 times more angry at you.
this is true. basically, if the title of the movie is a one word verb (ie: “scorned”, “betrayed”, “raped”) then its probably not a good idea to take an angry gf
@The Champ, Dearly Beloved we are gathered here to celebrate the passing of WuDaMan. He loved the VSB but the jokes would take him out errtime. lmao
TOTAL co-sign on the Wii Boxing…. and the Clone Wars Lightsaber Duel. You get to whack the H3LL out of each other and then talk mad shyt when you win. Love it. Last night my hubby was getting so pissed because I was OWNING his a$$.
Other non chexy ways to get to make up chexin…
Pillow/snowball fights- I’m all about physically getting the agression out
Working out is a great stress reliever in general… more so when you are pissed off.
Cleaning– i don’t know why, but something about cleaning my house and seeing a job well done at the end calms me
I also love the battle rap idea… I’mma try that next time.
Good post Peej and I’m glad to see Daddy-dom is teaching you some thangs… go Baby Pink PJ!!!
@blackberry molasses,
Cleaning– i don’t know why, but something about cleaning my house and seeing a job well done at the end calms me
me too, actually. i always feel less stressed after that one time during the month when i make my bed
@The Champ,
I was waiting for someone to suggest this. This would be my solution and it’d have to be some ole thurough ssa job so both parties can work together move the rug or couch so you can sweep or vaccuum under or behind it.
Cleaning it clenses the soul. @ episode of Malcolm in the Middle.
Okay, so maybe I’m just an evil biz-notch, because when I am really truly PISSED at my SO, I dont wanna engage in no damn team-building ass tension-relieving ass let’s just be friends ass stuff.
I just want you to leave me be….talking bout let’s go play twister, man get the hell outta my face, lmao.
But I did have one ex that had this crazy ability to make me laugh, even when we were in the middle of arguing…so I guess humor is the way to calm me down, depending on the severity of the issue we’re arguing over.
@8th Wonder, I am the queen of changing the subject mid argument.
Footnote~I only do this when I am losing and I have been proven to be dead wrong.
@8th Wonder,
When I’m mad, I got a scowl on my face and the suggestion of team building may make me give you a look so bad you turn to stone. Yes, I also need to be left alone to cool off for a bit. Then I may extend an olive branch
@8th Wonder,
I’m the same – when I’m mad leave me the hell alone or risk making me even angrier (not a pretty sight)!!
@8th Wonder,
so you put on that soulja boy Yaah B!ch Yaaah. Get out my face get out my face
oh em gee *dead*
LMAO @ “I dont wanna engage in no damn team-building ass tension-relieving ass let’s just be friends ass stuff”
To me it’s a good ole fashion wrasslin tends to be fun. It’s not fun if she keeps yelling “stop, stop” while laughing, but if she can manage to get you in some weird position so that boobies and thighs get mashed all up on ya…damn…I need a cold shower.
Other than that I’m open for ideas…
LMAO you’re doing “dos muchos”
wrestling is only fun until some one gets hurt. and it’s annoying (to me) to wrestle with a guy who is overly aggressive and dominating, becuz it’s just not fun at that point when my weak self is completely unable to participate– i’m the only one who gets to be hemmed up. that’s not fun, cute, or make-up inducing.
Some may not agree with this next method but it has worked for me in the past and it has also backfired.
Going out to the club!
You and your SO get into and the next minute your thinking to yourself “eff this I’m calling up Earl & them to see what’s cracking tonight” then you and your friends head out – yall have some laughs, get liquored up, grind on a few freaks then head back home.
While your out having a good time wifey is thinking “no hell to the no, this ninja thinks he can leave me in the house while he’s out having a good time. eff this I’m about to call up Alopecia and them to see what poppin tonight” So your girl get all dolled up goes out with the girls get some drinks, talk ish about you and all the other no good ninjas out there, and let a few random ninjas fell up on her.
then it’s around 3/4 in the morning and you both come in from a wild night of partying. Your both liquored and kinda of horny from grinding at the club. What do you do? What do you do?
I said this has backfired on me as well, because there’s times that I’ve went out and she actually stayed home. Or you go out and you end up at the wackest party ever. Then there’s the scenario that you hope will never happen, and that’s when your girl decides to call up an ex or one of her side jawns!!!!
@eff yo couch,
**dead** at Alopecia
@blackberry molasses,
**dead as well** you beat me to it…lol
@eff yo couch, or she decided not to come home until after she and the girls hit the IHOP aorund 5 in the morning.
@Suga&Spice,
Lucky for me wifey doesn’t do ihop or dennys. But she does like to play taxi for all her broke @ss girl friends that don’t have cars
@eff yo couch,
Your gurl at the club in her “F*ck him”dress on. Talm bout “f*ck him girl, f*ck him” and you come looking for her in some pajamas and slippers.
Hehe.
And yes, iDied @ Alopecia. And it saddens me b/c I know there is someone somewhere named that.
Ha! Me and my girl play Scrabble and Wii too. The winner can get some pretty sexy priviledges too. I am going to have to suggest that for those times when we argue. It could turn into something good. I love that battle rap idea too. Hilarious.
@Krush,
yeah. the battle rap idea might be todays winner.
@The Champ,
Do I get a prize and shyt?
Non-lovexual ways to make up…
1. Watch a funny movie or some stand-up comedy. Laugh those angry feeling away.
2. Watch sports. I love watching sports, especially with a man who loves them just as much I do. Good feelings occur when your team wins.
3. Bake together. Nothing says loving like brownies in the oven.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
3. Bake together. Nothing says loving like brownies in the oven.
i really dont see any scenario where two angry people will just up and decide to bake sugar cookies together
@The Champ, lol.
i don’t think they would up and decide to do it together at jump. It wouldn’t be like, “I hate your fandango guts, but hey, let’s bake a cake together.” When I’m angry, I like to do something in the kitchen (cook or bake), and the first time I did this, my ex entered the kitchen to get something to drink while I was preparing the ingredients, and I asked him to hand me the eggs. That’s all it took. While we baked, we talked and squashed whatever we were arguing about b4.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
Yup. Cooking/baking is a stress reliever for me as well, so if I’m cooking or baking and I ask you to go get me some missing ingredients, we might be on the path to recovery.
The problem will come when he’s in the middle of watching something interesting and he doesn’t want to go. Cue in Argument #2.
i love competitive gaming..its fun..i dont know if i would say its a anger-tension diversion for me..cause honestly my ADD doesn’t require i get and stay mad. Im usually over it before i can even remember what the he!ll i was mad about it.
yay for A.D.D !!!
@Princess Duvet,
when i first read this i thought you typed “gambling”, which would have been interesting, but probably wouldnt have changed the main premise of your comment any.
i’m thirsty
Water fights work. I discovered this almost by accident, as I found myself in the midst of an argument that I really didn’t want to be in. I was washing dishes, and just decided to spray him instead. It was funny because we were both still mad at first, but within like 2 minutes we were laughing.
If we do happen to go to bed angry, I will usually feel his foot nudge mine at some point during the night. This is code for “I’m sorry. You still mad?” Even if I am, I’ll nudge him back. That’s code for either “you’re an ass, but I love you anyway, ” or “come hither, you.” Somehow, he can tell which by the way my foot moves.
I love marriage.
@Nikiloveli, sounds like a good idea here
@Nikiloveli,
Awww. That was too cute.
@Nikiloveli,
Yeah the foot old nudge.
I do this too with my feet. Of course when I say feet I mean my wang is nudging her back side region. I would do it with my feet but the last thing she needs when she’s mad is me cutting her with my toe nails. But the code is still the same.
The nudge test is also an indicator to see how pissed she really is. If she pulls the covers off of you while uttering some choice words about you, after the nudge test, then it’s safe to say she’s pretty pissed.
@eff yo couch, The Wu was a kind VSBer who developed his VSB habbit under the protection of DC47(union). His dieing wish was for Eff to lead the Jazz funeral down market street w/ them turntables like @ the end of I’m gone get you sucka.
@eff yo couch,
This is hilarious given the state of most men’s feet. lawd. that might get her even more mad.
@eff yo couch,
handle them foot claws….
@eff yo couch, yes please cut your toe nails! I don’t why men think women don’t like nice feet on their guy. But yes, the nudge test is a good one.
@eff yo couch,
*nodding*
I totally agree…totally.
What has worked for me. Put on her favorite song on, pull her close and dance with her.
The spontaneity and the sheer sexy of it will get her. Women generally love to dance, moreso than men.
@me,
i can see how that would work well:-)
@me,
What if her favorite song is “Caught out there” by Kelis?
@eff yo couch,
lol…lol…that’s funny
i just died 1000 tiny deaths…
@me,
welcome and sh*t
@me,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
I don’t like to aargue anyway. So, I just end the conversation by saying “i’ll talk to you later or i’ll call you back”
Then go and have a “Men ain’t Sh*T” fun night when my girls. By then Everybidy will be calm and we can discuss the situation rationally….
but comments about my mama is a deal breaker
Happy Wednesday All….
@Jenna Marie Christian,
Then go and have a “Men ain’t Sh*T” fun night when my girls.
what all does this entail?
@The Champ,
That Depends on our mood
Sometimes it is just getting all of us together over dinner, movies, and drinks(for them, i don’t drink) and talk a great deal of trash about the men in our lives.
Sometimes, it is putting on our “freakum dresses” and having a fun night at a club…it depends on how we feel and what we want to do with the night..
nothing to special:-)
Yo I got one word. You can take and run w/ it if you want to. But I got it from The Blues Brothers movie. Kareoke!
@WuDaMan,
ive still never done that before, unless showers count
@The Champ, only reason I got there well there’s a story here. I got drafted tryin to sing along to a lil r & b to impress the smokin hot chior director back when I was in college. Who knew Wu could sing?? So I got a habbit for hot chicks w/ pipes it is what it is. Then one drunken night on beale street in memphis. It was thanksgiving 2006. We left a club and heard the blaring music from the Kareoke bar. We ~ 10 or so deep n the cousins is P.H.A.T. so no cover n we took the stage as if Joe Jackson was our daddy and this is gone keep the loan sharks from killin our daddy. (did a good proud marry I was Ike). The General did some prince(only person all night long to get a tip).
LSS Kareoke can be fun you can turn your life into a musical. NTTAWWT.
@WuDaMan,
Kareoke is truly the shyt!! No matter how well you sing, I’d definitely suggest this for getting shyt off your chess.
lmao. This post is sweet. I know another way to release tension that doesn’t involve $ex.
DIVORCE. A great way to lose some unwanted baggage…
@pgh muse,
ummm, did you accidentally mistake vsb for vbc? (verybitterchicks)
@The Champ,
lmao… I thought i was making a joke… but it did come across a little angry, huh?
Panama you is so on it w/ the video games. I can recall a fight betwixed roommates in college. Two other homies were in the room playing tekkin. They subsequently acted out the arguement w/ the tekken fighters acting as the actual roommate’s avatars. It was funny to see the uppercut of death because someone’s shoes didn’t get all the way in the closet. smh n ctfu
@WuDaMan,
“the uppercut of death”
btw, this is also the nickname for luvvie’s morning breath
Somebody please tell my mama I love her, because I cannot go on living.
@The Champ,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I’m laughing too hard to even have a comeback to this.
Humpty… I hate that I love you
I’m sorry. I had to share this with yall:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL5pdNoU-rU
“a million dollar draw situation”
I’m sorry. I had to share this with yall:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL5pdNoU-rU
“the million dollar dr*ws situation”
These were really good suggestions! I tend to just need to get the “F” away from him. Sometimes before the wrong things are said I have to get away!! I will go for a walk and depending on how mad I am the longer the walk. Sadly (giggle) I am divorced now but I remember our last argument I walked out of the house and before I realized I had walked so far I had to call my mom to come get me.
Cleaning used to also do it for me. I would get mad put on my Ipod and just start cleaning. By the time we’d made up everything would be spotless. I’d scrub down the walls, wash the windows, organize the closets (although the closet thing used to freak him out because he’d think I was packing my shyt…or maybe even his shyt)
http://subwayphilosophy.wordpress.com/2009/01/28/letters/
Another vote for Scrabble from one of my favorite writers.