Theory & Essay

Sweetmeat.

**Admin. Note: Vote. To the left, to the left. Thanks. **

People say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.

I’ve been to Vegas.

Well, I also think that same logic applies to jail. What happens in jail stays in jail unless you were shanked by somebody, in which case the statute of limitations on returning the favor is pretty much unlimited.

However, given the circumstances of those men who are placed in jail for extremely long sentences, a question becomes evident to me:

Is it acceptable for a man to be gay in jail?

Umm…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Think about this: people need personal interaction to live in this world. I don’t care how much of a loner you are; we all need some skin-on-skin action in our lives. That’s what prostitutes are for, to provide a service when you can’t get any skin-on-skin action from anywhere else. Much like video h*es, prostitutes don’t get enough credit for the service they provide to humanity.

Why would this change in jail? Especially when you have to spend years in a place where the only female might be a prison guard who is only sleeping with the death row inmates.

[***DISCLAIMER:
Before we go any further, let me clear few things up. I’m not gay, nor do I live a gay lifestyle…not that there’s anything wrong with living a gay lifestyle. I’m not even a metro-sexual. In fact, I’m still confused as to what a metro-sexual means since my take means almost gay, just doesn’t know it yet. Once again, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I have no problem with gay people, gay marriage, pink, flamingos, or John Legend. Nor do I plan on going to jail. I just think it’s an interesting topic. ***]

Of course, the other side of the game is this — what happens when he gets out? Would it be okay if he was gay in jail for, say, 7 years, and then wasn’t gay when he got out? Now, this is in direct conflict with the notion that people are born gay. Then again, jail is in direct conflict with the notion of a mixed genitalia world.

And what with EVERY woman thinking that EVERY man is either gay, gay-curious, or just DL anyway, the thought that its acceptable to say a black man can be gay in jail and come home and be un-gay might make me eligible to be incinerated at a Ponderosa Steak House — which is similar to being burned at a stake, only not at all.

But back to the point, is it even possible for a man to be gay in jail and actually come back out and live a heterosexual life? From a “desire” standpoint? I have no clue. And maybe that is where the answer lies. But…Donnie McClurkin was gay and he turned his life around.

Hmm…that was a judgmental statement that assumed that being gay means your life isn’t going in the right direction being as we only use the term “turned your life around” when referring to any negativity that you pursued prior. I mean when was the last time you heard somebody say, “wow, that Jim sure turned his life around” in reference to somebody going from being a God-fearing Christian to a Satan worshiping cat-screwer?

So, let me rephrase. Donnie McClurkin became — un-gay.

Do we believe that a gay man can become un-gay and not lust after the pleasures of the manflesh?

Like I said, I don’t know the answer.

However, for sake of argument, and assuming that a man could become ungay after leaving jail, assuming also that he would be eligible for parole at some point during his prison sentence, but not before at least 5 years…

…is it acceptable for a man to be gay in prison?

And to throw fuel on the fire, would you (women out there) date a man if you knew he was “prison gay”?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • June

    to me, gay is a state of mind. so when a guy goes and f*cks other dudes in the can, i look at it as he had no other choice. when he comes out and f*cks women again, he’s just going back to his nature. you have to work with what you’ve got.

    i wouldn’t want to date a guy who was “prison gay” because he’s probably got a higher risk of some STI. that would also be one hell of an awkward discussion… “soo umm who was your last partner…”

    • “so when a guy goes and f*cks other dudes in the can, i look at it as he had no other choice.”

      I beg to differ. Lefty & Righty are ALWAYS choices. If he gets creative, he could become a janitor so he’d have access to the prison vacuum cleaner. As Tim Gunn says, he could “Make it Work”.

      P.S. Tim Gunn is one of my FAVE gays. I heart him.

      • Alicia

        Tim Gunn is AWESOME…”Holla at cha boy”:–season 5’s new catch phrase.

      • Alicia

        Tim Gunn is AWESOME…”Holla at cha boy”:–season 5’s new catch phrase.

      • ForReal

        I love me some Tim Gunn too

      • ForReal

        I love me some Tim Gunn too

      • Dom

        Glad to see Im not the only one waiting for tonight at 9!

      • Dom

        Glad to see Im not the only one waiting for tonight at 9!

    • “so when a guy goes and f*cks other dudes in the can, i look at it as he had no other choice.”

      I beg to differ. Lefty & Righty are ALWAYS choices. If he gets creative, he could become a janitor so he’d have access to the prison vacuum cleaner. As Tim Gunn says, he could “Make it Work”.

      P.S. Tim Gunn is one of my FAVE gays. I heart him.

    • I went to a catholic highschool (which could also be seen as a form of prison) and we had to take this class (when a few girls were coming up pregnant and being shipped away from “general population” to “pregnant school”.

      The class was rather controversial for a catholic school. like sex ed on steroids. But in the beginning the class focused on sublimation.

      This should be a prison requirement. If you have sexual urges: read a dam#n book, write a dam#n book,pray to Allah/God/Buddah, get a degree, make sandwich…the list goes on and on.

      …but do not put your thag in ANY man’s Orifice.

      Now if you are gay (and they should have to take a test). Please don’t ask me about the test. But it would be written by: The queer eye for the straight guys, Dolce and Gabana, Michael Kors, Ru Paul, and Neil Patrick Harris. And should they score 60% or better they go to special population.

      • A Plus

        wait? neil patrick harris is gay??

        • “wait? neil patrick harris is gay??”

          you’re kidding, right? he’s gayer than christmas morning

        • “wait? neil patrick harris is gay??”

          you’re kidding, right? he’s gayer than christmas morning

        • miss t-lee

          He’s been gay…

        • miss t-lee

          He’s been gay…

        • There are rainbows who think Neil Patrick Harris needs to “man up”

        • There are rainbows who think Neil Patrick Harris needs to “man up”

      • A Plus

        wait? neil patrick harris is gay??

      • LeCyran0

        Neil Patrick Harris was outed in the late 90’s by Perez Hilton i think. and he’s been in a monogomous relationship for the past 4 years. I think he’s in the lateste issue of Out magazine.

      • LeCyran0

        Neil Patrick Harris was outed in the late 90’s by Perez Hilton i think. and he’s been in a monogomous relationship for the past 4 years. I think he’s in the lateste issue of Out magazine.

      • I was watching Sesame Street yesterday, and Doogie was on there playing a SINGING SHOE FAIRY. I kid you not. On my mama!

        The shoe CLEARLY fit, and he put it on.

        • he was funny in the Harold n Kumar movies

        • he was funny in the Harold n Kumar movies

      • I was watching Sesame Street yesterday, and Doogie was on there playing a SINGING SHOE FAIRY. I kid you not. On my mama!

        The shoe CLEARLY fit, and he put it on.

    • I went to a catholic highschool (which could also be seen as a form of prison) and we had to take this class (when a few girls were coming up pregnant and being shipped away from “general population” to “pregnant school”.

      The class was rather controversial for a catholic school. like sex ed on steroids. But in the beginning the class focused on sublimation.

      This should be a prison requirement. If you have sexual urges: read a dam#n book, write a dam#n book,pray to Allah/God/Buddah, get a degree, make sandwich…the list goes on and on.

      …but do not put your thag in ANY man’s Orifice.

      Now if you are gay (and they should have to take a test). Please don’t ask me about the test. But it would be written by: The queer eye for the straight guys, Dolce and Gabana, Michael Kors, Ru Paul, and Neil Patrick Harris. And should they score 60% or better they go to special population.

  • June

    to me, gay is a state of mind. so when a guy goes and f*cks other dudes in the can, i look at it as he had no other choice. when he comes out and f*cks women again, he’s just going back to his nature. you have to work with what you’ve got.

    i wouldn’t want to date a guy who was “prison gay” because he’s probably got a higher risk of some STI. that would also be one hell of an awkward discussion… “soo umm who was your last partner…”

  • Liz

    Wow. Prison Gay? That’s new.

    Yeahhhh. As much as I love Donnie, I don’t think I would really be itchin to go down the formerly gay path. That would take a very strong woman, and I am not so sure that woman is me? lol.

    • miss t-lee

      “That would take a very strong woman, and I am not so sure that woman is me”

      I totally agree. I know the woman is not me. lol

    • miss t-lee

      “That would take a very strong woman, and I am not so sure that woman is me”

      I totally agree. I know the woman is not me. lol

    • ‘Wow. Prison Gay? That’s new.”

      lol, i’m still mad p titled the entry “sweetmeat”

      • Leila

        i’m still mad p titled the entry “sweetmeat”’

        LOL

      • Leila

        i’m still mad p titled the entry “sweetmeat”’

        LOL

      • LOL…i got that title from a Dolemite movie, Disco Godfather. One of the dudes in the movie’s name was Sweetmeat.

        Just seemed appropos for today’s topic.

        • miss t-lee

          Wow…I haven’t seen that movie in years…lol

        • miss t-lee

          Wow…I haven’t seen that movie in years…lol

      • LOL…i got that title from a Dolemite movie, Disco Godfather. One of the dudes in the movie’s name was Sweetmeat.

        Just seemed appropos for today’s topic.

    • ‘Wow. Prison Gay? That’s new.”

      lol, i’m still mad p titled the entry “sweetmeat”

  • Liz

    Wow. Prison Gay? That’s new.

    Yeahhhh. As much as I love Donnie, I don’t think I would really be itchin to go down the formerly gay path. That would take a very strong woman, and I am not so sure that woman is me? lol.

  • Ummm….prison. man. + life = gay.

    No, I dunno…here’s a question for you Panama; if you had life in prison and not a chance of seeing the the cold but enjoyable world again would you just masturbate and dream happy pornographic thoughts or how would you manage?

    I think the men try to stay sane, but life….that’s hard rocks.

    • “but life….that’s hard rocks.”

      exactly

    • “but life….that’s hard rocks.”

      exactly

    • Count me in the “hand-le it myself system”.

      Then again, i’m lightskint, skinny, and cute…its best for me to stay as far away from prison as possible.

      • The Queen

        LMAO that you just called yourself cute.

      • The Queen

        LMAO that you just called yourself cute.

      • Then again, i’m lightskint, skinny, and cute…its best for me to stay as far away from prison as possible.

        calling yourself “cute” in prison will definitely have you holding some brotha’s pocket before you even get your inmate ID number!

      • Then again, i’m lightskint, skinny, and cute…its best for me to stay as far away from prison as possible.

        calling yourself “cute” in prison will definitely have you holding some brotha’s pocket before you even get your inmate ID number!

    • Count me in the “hand-le it myself system”.

      Then again, i’m lightskint, skinny, and cute…its best for me to stay as far away from prison as possible.

  • Ummm….prison. man. + life = gay.

    No, I dunno…here’s a question for you Panama; if you had life in prison and not a chance of seeing the the cold but enjoyable world again would you just masturbate and dream happy pornographic thoughts or how would you manage?

    I think the men try to stay sane, but life….that’s hard rocks.

  • Leila

    …is it acceptable for a man to be gay in prison?
    If a man is gay in prison then he’s gay and there’s nothing wrong with. But, he can’t leave jail and just become hetereosexual. Its not a switch that you can turn on and off. I’m a woman and if I was sent to jail, then I would instantly turn celibate until my sentence was over. There’s no way that I would ever be with a woman just because I couldn’t be with a man.

    And to throw fuel on the fire, would you (women out there) date a man if you knew he was “prison gay”?
    Nope! Not happening. To me prison gay = gay. You can’t just be gay while you’re in prison.

    • “I’m a woman and if I was sent to jail, then I would instantly turn celibate until my sentence was over.”

      what if your sentence never ended?

      • shay

        thats one of the things i would consider BEFORE i do some foolywang that’d get me put away indefinitely…

        • ‘foolywang’

          kinda like tomfoolery huh? LOL

        • ‘foolywang’

          kinda like tomfoolery huh? LOL

        • you know, as much as i’d like to say “amen” to this…there have been WAY too many “mistakenly convicted and freed after 27 years” cats out there for me think i even really control this.

          • miss t-lee

            With the majority of them being in Dallas.
            dayum shame.

          • miss t-lee

            With the majority of them being in Dallas.
            dayum shame.

        • you know, as much as i’d like to say “amen” to this…there have been WAY too many “mistakenly convicted and freed after 27 years” cats out there for me think i even really control this.

        • shay – “foolywang” my ni99a? you are definitely a TX representer…THANK YOU!!

          • shay

            lol i would be glad to represent TX if i wasnt FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. sorry, lol

            • where you learn that one of the nake cowboy’s songs in time square? lol

            • where you learn that one of the nake cowboy’s songs in time square? lol

          • shay

            lol i would be glad to represent TX if i wasnt FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. sorry, lol

        • shay – “foolywang” my ni99a? you are definitely a TX representer…THANK YOU!!

        • JBoogie

          foolywang…that’s my word for real right there!

        • JBoogie

          foolywang…that’s my word for real right there!

      • shay

        thats one of the things i would consider BEFORE i do some foolywang that’d get me put away indefinitely…

    • “I’m a woman and if I was sent to jail, then I would instantly turn celibate until my sentence was over.”

      what if your sentence never ended?

  • Leila

    …is it acceptable for a man to be gay in prison?
    If a man is gay in prison then he’s gay and there’s nothing wrong with. But, he can’t leave jail and just become hetereosexual. Its not a switch that you can turn on and off. I’m a woman and if I was sent to jail, then I would instantly turn celibate until my sentence was over. There’s no way that I would ever be with a woman just because I couldn’t be with a man.

    And to throw fuel on the fire, would you (women out there) date a man if you knew he was “prison gay”?
    Nope! Not happening. To me prison gay = gay. You can’t just be gay while you’re in prison.

  • Not so sure I would be with an ex-con, period… (again)

    • Leila

      Good point!

    • Leila

      Good point!

    • shay

      hey, you would be surprised… i know people who haev been away for 10+ years and have adjusted so well you wouldnt know unless they told you… sheet happens.

      • I’ve been with a ‘well adjusted’ “former state captive” and I figured it out without being told over time…. that is jsut not a piece of Samsonite I want to deal deal with, maybe the next chick, but not da kid!

      • I’ve been with a ‘well adjusted’ “former state captive” and I figured it out without being told over time…. that is jsut not a piece of Samsonite I want to deal deal with, maybe the next chick, but not da kid!

    • shay

      hey, you would be surprised… i know people who haev been away for 10+ years and have adjusted so well you wouldnt know unless they told you… sheet happens.

  • Not so sure I would be with an ex-con, period… (again)

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