Theory & Essay

Sweetmeat.

**Admin. Note: Vote. To the left, to the left. Thanks. **

People say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.

I’ve been to Vegas.

Well, I also think that same logic applies to jail. What happens in jail stays in jail unless you were shanked by somebody, in which case the statute of limitations on returning the favor is pretty much unlimited.

However, given the circumstances of those men who are placed in jail for extremely long sentences, a question becomes evident to me:

Is it acceptable for a man to be gay in jail?

Umm…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Think about this: people need personal interaction to live in this world. I don’t care how much of a loner you are; we all need some skin-on-skin action in our lives. That’s what prostitutes are for, to provide a service when you can’t get any skin-on-skin action from anywhere else. Much like video h*es, prostitutes don’t get enough credit for the service they provide to humanity.

Why would this change in jail? Especially when you have to spend years in a place where the only female might be a prison guard who is only sleeping with the death row inmates.

[***DISCLAIMER:
Before we go any further, let me clear few things up. I'm not gay, nor do I live a gay lifestyle...not that there's anything wrong with living a gay lifestyle. I'm not even a metro-sexual. In fact, I'm still confused as to what a metro-sexual means since my take means almost gay, just doesn't know it yet. Once again, not that there's anything wrong with that. I have no problem with gay people, gay marriage, pink, flamingos, or John Legend. Nor do I plan on going to jail. I just think it’s an interesting topic. ***]

Of course, the other side of the game is this — what happens when he gets out? Would it be okay if he was gay in jail for, say, 7 years, and then wasn’t gay when he got out? Now, this is in direct conflict with the notion that people are born gay. Then again, jail is in direct conflict with the notion of a mixed genitalia world.

And what with EVERY woman thinking that EVERY man is either gay, gay-curious, or just DL anyway, the thought that its acceptable to say a black man can be gay in jail and come home and be un-gay might make me eligible to be incinerated at a Ponderosa Steak House — which is similar to being burned at a stake, only not at all.

But back to the point, is it even possible for a man to be gay in jail and actually come back out and live a heterosexual life? From a “desire” standpoint? I have no clue. And maybe that is where the answer lies. But…Donnie McClurkin was gay and he turned his life around.

Hmm…that was a judgmental statement that assumed that being gay means your life isn’t going in the right direction being as we only use the term “turned your life around” when referring to any negativity that you pursued prior. I mean when was the last time you heard somebody say, “wow, that Jim sure turned his life around” in reference to somebody going from being a God-fearing Christian to a Satan worshiping cat-screwer?

So, let me rephrase. Donnie McClurkin became — un-gay.

Do we believe that a gay man can become un-gay and not lust after the pleasures of the manflesh?

Like I said, I don’t know the answer.

However, for sake of argument, and assuming that a man could become ungay after leaving jail, assuming also that he would be eligible for parole at some point during his prison sentence, but not before at least 5 years…

…is it acceptable for a man to be gay in prison?

And to throw fuel on the fire, would you (women out there) date a man if you knew he was “prison gay”?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • June

    to me, gay is a state of mind. so when a guy goes and f*cks other dudes in the can, i look at it as he had no other choice. when he comes out and f*cks women again, he’s just going back to his nature. you have to work with what you’ve got.

    i wouldn’t want to date a guy who was “prison gay” because he’s probably got a higher risk of some STI. that would also be one hell of an awkward discussion… “soo umm who was your last partner…”

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      “so when a guy goes and f*cks other dudes in the can, i look at it as he had no other choice.”

      I beg to differ. Lefty & Righty are ALWAYS choices. If he gets creative, he could become a janitor so he’d have access to the prison vacuum cleaner. As Tim Gunn says, he could “Make it Work”.

      P.S. Tim Gunn is one of my FAVE gays. I heart him.

      • Alicia

        Tim Gunn is AWESOME…”Holla at cha boy”:–season 5′s new catch phrase.

      • ForReal

        I love me some Tim Gunn too

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        Glad to see Im not the only one waiting for tonight at 9!

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      I went to a catholic highschool (which could also be seen as a form of prison) and we had to take this class (when a few girls were coming up pregnant and being shipped away from “general population” to “pregnant school”.

      The class was rather controversial for a catholic school. like sex ed on steroids. But in the beginning the class focused on sublimation.

      This should be a prison requirement. If you have sexual urges: read a dam#n book, write a dam#n book,pray to Allah/God/Buddah, get a degree, make sandwich…the list goes on and on.

      …but do not put your thag in ANY man’s Orifice.

      Now if you are gay (and they should have to take a test). Please don’t ask me about the test. But it would be written by: The queer eye for the straight guys, Dolce and Gabana, Michael Kors, Ru Paul, and Neil Patrick Harris. And should they score 60% or better they go to special population.

      • A Plus

        wait? neil patrick harris is gay??

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “wait? neil patrick harris is gay??”

          you’re kidding, right? he’s gayer than christmas morning

        • miss t-lee

          He’s been gay…

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          There are rainbows who think Neil Patrick Harris needs to “man up”

      • LeCyran0

        Neil Patrick Harris was outed in the late 90′s by Perez Hilton i think. and he’s been in a monogomous relationship for the past 4 years. I think he’s in the lateste issue of Out magazine.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        I was watching Sesame Street yesterday, and Doogie was on there playing a SINGING SHOE FAIRY. I kid you not. On my mama!

        The shoe CLEARLY fit, and he put it on.

        • http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

          he was funny in the Harold n Kumar movies

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    Wow. Prison Gay? That’s new.

    Yeahhhh. As much as I love Donnie, I don’t think I would really be itchin to go down the formerly gay path. That would take a very strong woman, and I am not so sure that woman is me? lol.

    • miss t-lee

      “That would take a very strong woman, and I am not so sure that woman is me”

      I totally agree. I know the woman is not me. lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      ‘Wow. Prison Gay? That’s new.”

      lol, i’m still mad p titled the entry “sweetmeat”

      • Leila

        i’m still mad p titled the entry “sweetmeat”’

        LOL

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        LOL…i got that title from a Dolemite movie, Disco Godfather. One of the dudes in the movie’s name was Sweetmeat.

        Just seemed appropos for today’s topic.

        • miss t-lee

          Wow…I haven’t seen that movie in years…lol

  • http://myspace Luckyred

    Ummm….prison. man. + life = gay.

    No, I dunno…here’s a question for you Panama; if you had life in prison and not a chance of seeing the the cold but enjoyable world again would you just masturbate and dream happy pornographic thoughts or how would you manage?

    I think the men try to stay sane, but life….that’s hard rocks.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “but life….that’s hard rocks.”

      exactly

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Count me in the “hand-le it myself system”.

      Then again, i’m lightskint, skinny, and cute…its best for me to stay as far away from prison as possible.

      • The Queen

        LMAO that you just called yourself cute.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          “it’s called esteem of my mothersmurfin’ self”

          • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

            aaqaahahahahhaa

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        Then again, i’m lightskint, skinny, and cute…its best for me to stay as far away from prison as possible.

        calling yourself “cute” in prison will definitely have you holding some brotha’s pocket before you even get your inmate ID number!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          exactly my point.

  • Leila

    …is it acceptable for a man to be gay in prison?
    If a man is gay in prison then he’s gay and there’s nothing wrong with. But, he can’t leave jail and just become hetereosexual. Its not a switch that you can turn on and off. I’m a woman and if I was sent to jail, then I would instantly turn celibate until my sentence was over. There’s no way that I would ever be with a woman just because I couldn’t be with a man.

    And to throw fuel on the fire, would you (women out there) date a man if you knew he was “prison gay”?
    Nope! Not happening. To me prison gay = gay. You can’t just be gay while you’re in prison.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I’m a woman and if I was sent to jail, then I would instantly turn celibate until my sentence was over.”

      what if your sentence never ended?

      • shay

        thats one of the things i would consider BEFORE i do some foolywang that’d get me put away indefinitely…

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise

          ‘foolywang’

          kinda like tomfoolery huh? LOL

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          you know, as much as i’d like to say “amen” to this…there have been WAY too many “mistakenly convicted and freed after 27 years” cats out there for me think i even really control this.

          • miss t-lee

            With the majority of them being in Dallas.
            dayum shame.

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          shay – “foolywang” my ni99a? you are definitely a TX representer…THANK YOU!!

          • shay

            lol i would be glad to represent TX if i wasnt FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. sorry, lol

            • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

              where you learn that one of the nake cowboy’s songs in time square? lol

        • JBoogie

          foolywang…that’s my word for real right there!

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    Not so sure I would be with an ex-con, period… (again)

    • Leila

      Good point!

    • shay

      hey, you would be surprised… i know people who haev been away for 10+ years and have adjusted so well you wouldnt know unless they told you… sheet happens.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Alise

        I’ve been with a ‘well adjusted’ “former state captive” and I figured it out without being told over time…. that is jsut not a piece of Samsonite I want to deal deal with, maybe the next chick, but not da kid!

        • http://www.Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

          LOL @ “former state captive”

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    I am NOT sorry when I say Donnie McClurkin needs more people. Shoot, I think he needs the WHOLE million man march to verify that he is, in fact, UN-Gay (hmm…he would prolly like that).

    Him & GAl Reynolds need to stop playing bald-headed games. How have you become a reformed hetero? Holy water aint THAT strong. Besides, although its easier said than done, I just wish people would embrace that part of themselves if that is the case.

    Ok now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. I must say that one must expect that any man who has been in prison for a long period of time should be expected to have had some sexual contact with another man (whether willing or not). Shoot, murderers and rapists need love (i mean, SEX) too. Well, I’m sure the rapists helped themselves… *chuckles*

    Umm… where was I going with this? Eh, I don’t remember.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Shoot, I think he needs the WHOLE million man march to verify that he is, in fact, UN-Gay (hmm…he would prolly like that).”

      **chuckling**

  • shay-d-lady

    I don’t think becoming an “ungay” like Donnie and ninjas that hit it in jail are the same thing and then are we talking about ninjas taking or giving it cause once you have been penetrated there is no coming back from that! On A side note f*Ck donnie! oh and I wouldnt date an ungay or jail gay

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      Well the po’ souls that were forcefully penetrated need a “Pass Go & Collect $200″ Pass. They can’t be deemed “gay” now b/c they couldn’t fight off Bubba or Tiny (who is ironically huge).

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    YAY for my shirt quote being voted on!!!! “I am an asshole and I’m okay with that”.

    *shucks and jives in glee*

    • genius khan

      Luvvie me too…

      “i’m an asshole and i ‘m ok with that.”

      salute!

  • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

    “Donnie McClurkin became — un-gay.”

    Lies always make me giggle!

    Ahem, anyway, what is up with the lack of gay male commenters on VSB? Panama, you ain’t tell your Morehouse friends you had a website? ZING! BAM! BOOM! Hi-YO! HUZZAH!

    I don’t so much see myself with a man who was incarcerated for more than a brief, BRIEF spell over something like a protest gone awry (though singer Steph Jones was in a French jail for a while longer and I want to have so many babies for him). And part of the reason for that would be the post-traumatic stress syndrome that would occur and CLEARLY someone who ended up in a “gay whilst away” situation would have that problem. I also wouldn’t date a man who fought in Iraq. Shoot, being Black In America is problematic enough.

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      “ZING! BAM! BOOM! Hi-YO! HUZZAH!”

      Ok I CACKLED at your bootleg sound effects. I immediately pictured the old Batman & Robin cartoon. “KABLAMO!! POW!!”

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      “I also wouldn’t date a man who fought in Iraq.”

      Shoot, why go all the way to Iraq. I’d BARELY date a guy from ATL. Unless he got references and I can do a background check that he ain’t been creeping w/ another meatpacker.

      • V.E.G.

        Add DC to that list…

    • genius khan

      Sister Toldus:

      “And part of the reason for that would be the post-traumatic stress syndrome that would occur and CLEARLY someone who ended up in a “gay whilst away” situation would have that problem. I also wouldn’t date a man who fought in Iraq.”

      so if you (Sister Toldya) suffered from post traumatic stress syndrome of any kind for any reason:

      would u consider urself undateable for a person of ur current standard status etc.???????

      • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

        I would date a man who had PSTD from other issues (getting shot, assaulted, witnessing a killing, etc) but I think a prisoner who had served significant time would have probably experienced more than I could handle. And WHAT WAS HE DOIN IN JAIL IN THE FIRST PLACE? Mumia is a political prisoner, most n*ggas are not.

        And my Iraq thing is as much a fear of war-induced PTSD as it is my pacificsm and disagreement with fighting for the USA.

        So, to answer your question: if I went to jail or Iraq, yes, I would be undateable by MY current standard lol.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Mumia is a political prisoner, most n*ggas are not.”

          not to be excessively nitpicky, but mumia isnt a political prisoner.

          • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

            YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!

            And, actually, wouldn’t we say that the fact that his conviction has not yet been overturned (despite a glut of evidence proving that he is innocent) is political? Whatever, you know what I meant!

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              “Whatever, you know what I meant!”

              lol…point taken, sister t

    • miss t-lee

      Ahem, anyway, what is up with the lack of gay male commenters on VSB? Panama, you ain’t tell your Morehouse friends you had a website? ZING! BAM! BOOM! Hi-YO! HUZZAH!

      Holy ish…lol!!!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan
      • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

        Wu, I know what he SAYS. But I also don’t believe that homosexuality is 1) a disease or 2) “cureable”. I think he is a big old closet queen hiding himself amongst the shoeboxes and moth balls so he can get paid and hold his position in his church. A lot of self-hatred in that one.

        • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

          So your saying he sold out on homocecsuality. To each their own. I wouldn’t put him in any diffrent a box as say a light skinned and darksined couple then.

          • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

            Huh?

            • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

              Follow me. Acknowledging the addage learn to love yourself first then learn to love someone else. Psychologically speaking should you choose someone diffrent from yourself would signify that the difference is what you would change about yourself. What you hate about yourself. i.e. we both got skin mine is dark yours is light I wish my skin were lighter you wish your skin were darker. Self Hatred

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      “Ahem, anyway, what is up with the lack of gay male commenters on VSB? Panama, you ain’t tell your Morehouse friends you had a website? ZING! BAM! BOOM! Hi-YO! HUZZAH!”

      i told them, but they’re too busy making Howard chicks their concubines and secretaries while they run the world and marry Spelman women.

      • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

        I think you mean making Howard MEN their concubines while marrying Spelman women.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          at least you admit that most men at Howard are on some “broken-wrist-syndrome”. glad you finally admitted that.

          i guess the main point is, whether in the world or the bedroom, seems like Howard folks are constantly taking it up the poo-chute.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “i guess the main point is, whether in the world or the bedroom, seems like Howard folks are constantly taking it up the poo-chute.”

            oh wow, lol. damn

            • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

              Man please. Y’all just mad because your two schools combined do not equal our one.

              And I have never held back on commenting on the many closet cases at Howard University. As a loyal f*g hag, it breaks my heart. Come out and play with me, boys!

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                “Man please. Y’all just mad because your two schools combined do not equal our one.”

                that’s the best comeback you got? boooooooooooo.
                i’m disappointed in you. you embarrass me. you embarrass yourself.

        • A Plus

          LMAO! Exactly!

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      I’m not a gay male commenter, but I’m not going to comment on this topic or any similar because pretty much the universal consensus here is:

      If you’ve ever done anything that could be considered “gay”, you are gay – from then till eternity.

      So, what’s the point of saying anything contrary?

      • The Queen

        “If you’ve ever done anything that could be considered “gay”, you are gay – from then till eternity.
        So, what’s the point of saying anything contrary?”

        Your statement kind of reminds me of how the established rule is if you have one drop of black blood you are black.

    • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

      Sister Toldja, I respect where you’re coming from. You should definitely have your standards. By all means, stick to your guns.

      Just don’t complain when you limit your own pool of good brothas.

  • shay-d-lady

    instead of jail gay how about circumstancial gay?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      what do you mean?