After all of these months of doing this here blog, I’ve been alluding to just how sexxy I am. In fact, that whole two “x” thing, all me, pal. If you see it anywhere, that’s vintage Panama Jackson. But what good is being sexxy if nobody else can truly reach that higher level of sexxinesstivity? It may still be trickin’ if you got it, but a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
So.
With that in mind, in all of my benevolence, I shall proffer a guide on how to be sexxy for those individuals looking to add a little oomph to their oodles, a little pep in their pstep. Here are 5 commandments for ultimate sexxiness.
Follow.
1st Commandment: Thou shalt be convincing. And not be a d*ckhead whilst doing it.
The key to being sexxy is getting other people to buy into the BS you are espousing without belittling anybody in the process. People don’t like belittlers. My weapon of choice is comedy.
Gem For Life: You can get away with damn near ANYTHING if you make people laugh. It also helps if you don’t look like a pterodactyl.
Panama > pterodactyl.
2nd Commandment: Thou shalt realize that you don’t have to look sexxy to be sexxy, you have to swag sexxy.
Just let your soul glow, just let it shine thru. You know why? It’s cuz that’s all that matters.
Actually, that’s a lie. Looking like Fred Flinstone’s big toe will probably make your ascension to sexxy more difficult than you think.
However…eat well.
3rd Commandment: Don’t be afraid to be wrong.
You know why? If you are truly sexxy, as I am, you have a built in response to everything.
Panama, son, what is 2+2?
847!
Dude, it’s 4.
I’m sexxy.
End game. There is no retort because it requires none. You got the answer wrong, and are okay with it. You know why? I’ll tell you why. It’s because you are sexxy. That’s why.
4th Commandment: Be wrong and randomly wrong often.
You see, having that built in line, makes life all the more entertaining. You can just blatantly do your own thing at all times and spin the answers the way you see fit. If you think that 2+2 should be 5, then dammit, make sure everybody knows that. And in the event that people refuse to accept it, make sure to remind them just how sexxy you truly are and that your sexxiness trumps all else. Things that have rhyme and reason should no longer have rhyme and reason. In fact, you recreate the status quo. And do you know why?
Because you’re sexxy. B*tches.
Number 5 should have been number 1 to me…
5th Commandment: Thou shouldn’t confuse sexxy with just regular sex-y.
People tend to think that when I say sexxy, I mean that I am sexy. No, when I say sexxy, I mean sexxy. Understand?
You see how I explained that without explaining anything?
BONUS CUT:
6th Commandment: If people don’t get you…f*ck ‘em up against the wall. Oh wait…sorry. Thou shalt if people don’t get you…f*ck ‘em up against the wall.
Of course, this rebuts that whole 1st Commandment, don’t be a d*ckhead thing. But did you see I, Robot? Do you remember the ghosts in the machine? Me neither, however, you can’t go around trying to make people feel better about themselves by explaining yourself all the time. Do you and somebody will get you some of the time. Nobody will never not get you all of the time. Understand that the last sentence made total sense to me in my mind. Also understand that I have no idea why it did. You see, half the time, understanding your own train of thought is a full time job.
And who wants one of those.
I understand that this commandment seems slightly arrogant. And I quote:
“the f*ck you expect, I’ve got a history…” ~ Kanye West “They Say” from Common’s album Be
Plus, I’m sexxy. B*tches.
Are you starting to catch on yet?
Are you experienced?
People of the VSB-dom, what are the keys to your very own sexxy? What voodoo do you do that does what it does when you make it do what it do?
Do tell.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
“Actually, that’s a lie. Looking like Fred Flinstone’s big toe will probably make your ascension to sexxy more difficult than you think.”
But Biggie was able to convince folks of his sexxy somehow…
Biggie, Biggie gimme one more chance…
*Off to the Prayer Cubicle to repent*
P.S. I’m on top again! The Champ is back! We must bask, Kula Babe…
@Luvvie,
You are on top again. LoL. It’s funny how we’re both vying for this spot at the same time. But I like the fiestiness. Only you could conquer my summit
@Luvvie and Kamakula,
“I’m on top again! The Champ is back! We must bask, Kula Babe”
really this is way too easy
keep your coital challenges to your self. i.e. get a room (perhaps build one next to the corner)
@Luvvie, black and ugly as eva..howeva….
@overit wishes a ninja WOULD!,
“I stay Gucci down to the socks…”
*Doing the Bounce*
@Luvvie & Kamakula
Yall make me sick wit ya non-room havin asses, lol. Ya know, Motel 6 will leave the light on for ya. (least that’s what they say, lol)
@RedBeanzNRice,
Motel 6?? Oh no! I keeps my Ho Sh*t Classy. Can we at least get the Best Western? lol
@Luvvie, rings and watch filled with rocks
and my jam knocks in the mitsubishi..
that was my JAM!@! what happened to Faith anyway?
crack.
@8th Wonder,
Meet me in the Prayer Cubicle cuz you know that girl ain’t on no crack…she just went on a diet.
yeah the riggedy riggedy rocks diet.
@PBG,
Rock it don’t stop it, planet rock diet
The roooock, steeeeadaaay, steaaady rockin’ alll night looooong diet.
@PBG,
The “I wannnnnnnnnnna roooooock wit’ ya babeeeeeeee, allllllllll night long” nutrition plan
The solid…solid as a ROCK…
dietary supplements.
@PBG,
Rock the bells…. I excel, they all fail appetite supressants
The Rock the boat, Rock the Boat, Change Postion, New Position…
…waist-cinching smoothies!
@PBG,
Sade presents: Lover’s Rock Forehead and Fat Reducer
The Body rock, body rock, I make ya body rock cellulite-sucking vaccum pants.
@8th Wonder, i just died.
@8th Wonder,
sniggle… sniggle.
She wrote an autobiography. I don’t know if it’s out yet but i read snippets. Juicy, juicy stuff!
@Luvvie,
Does wearing Gucci down to the socks make a n*gga sexy??
@Monk,
no, it makes you hood-rich.
@laylah,
That’s not good, no?
@Monk,
Gucci socks makes not a sexxy negro, but a tacky one. He may not even be hood rich. Homeboy could get some gucci socks from canal street for the low low…
Then they’d be grucci, not gucci.
@8th Wonder,
He’ll be rocking Grucci socks, US Polo Assn. shirt, Lewis Vuitton Murse, Kenny Cole shoes, some JC Penney Top of the Line slacks.
@8th Wonder,
Or gooci. Yes, I’ve seen those.
*smh*
@8th Wonder,
This reminds me of the time I was in the Korean shoe spot on the Ave and saw some fake a$$ Timbs called ‘Trees.’
Didn’t even have a tree on the lateral heel portion like Timberlands…
…just the actual word ‘TREES’ spelled out literally.
I’m like “I know we call Timbs ‘Trees’
around the way, but to actually name the fake jawns ‘Trees?!”
Banannas.
@Luvvie, one day, i will depose you and your infernally smug kama-k!!!
@superwoman,
Hello Hater McHaterson!
@Luvvie, hissssssssssss!!!
Biggie was NEVER sexy. Money made him look better. His hot lyrics added to his swag, but he was NEVER sexy.
@Ange,
Thank you! I don’t think there ever will be enough money in the world to make Biggie any kind of sexy (or even anything sexy adjacent)!!!
@Ange,
Long-time reader, first-time poster….
Can we say the same for Jay-Z?
I’m so sick of the delusion that his swagger/money/lyrical ability = sexy or sexxy.
@WordSmith,
welcome and sh*t
@WordSmith,
ah…. Welcome! **Diva Dust ™**
Now that you have de-lurked, we expect to see more of you… because that’s sexxy
@blackberry molasses,
I know, I know. I promise to contribute to the discussion on a regular basis from now on.
Unrelated: Your name, is it from that song, “Blackberry molasses, one of the things that never change[sic]“?
@WordSmith,
good look *wink*
because you recognize my sexxy, you get more sexxy.
see how this works people… sexxy begets sexxy
@blackberry molasses, y’all gettin’ real flagrant with the sexxy.
can’t just be handin’ out sexxy all willy nilly.
you got to give sexxy to get sexxy. being sexxy’s not a job, it’s an adventure. you want the sexxy? you can’t handle the sexxy.
i’m paid in sexxy.
@Panama,
my bad yo.. but she recognized ol’ skool game… means she’s been somewhere and done some thangs… that is sexxy
@WordSmith,
*laughing to self*
You’re about to get sprinkled with glitter, star dust, and all types of shyt…beware…it’s coming…LOL!!
I think women gravitate towards Jay because they KNOW that he takes care of business.
@Monk,
I agree with you, but I can’t get past his face.
@WordSmith,
“I agree with you, but I can’t get past his face.”
That’s why they make ski masks.
@RedBeanzNRice, the ski mask way is something Biggie specialized in, when he used to get his the fast way…
@Monk,
ummm, they gravitate bc that ninja got money, and that is sexxy than a mf in this here recession…. don’t try to read into that ish…
@Monk, You’re about to get sprinkled with glitter, star dust, and all types of shyt…beware…it’s coming…LOL!!
don’t hate on the sparkly sistas, mmmkay?
@WordSmith
welcome! *gold stars*
@Monk,
He needs to go somewhere and take care of a haircut. He’s runnin’ around w/his head lookin’ like Baa-Baa-Black Sheep’s azz. Ol’ wooly mammoth head face self!
@PBG,
fa realz tho!!!
people can check out the travesty that is Jay’s hair and Bey’s dress on my blog….
that premier was one big fashion “HAYLE NAW!”
@WordSmith,
“Can we say the same for Jay-Z?”
oh yes we can. he looks like a camel.
a camel with Down’s.
@Gem of the Ocean, “a camel with Down’s.” This comment reminds me of the hilarity of 2520s referring to simple people as “downsy” ex. Is that Biff in that picture? He must have been drunk because he is looking a little downsy (Lawd forgive me) . . .oh yeah, stop hating on J.
lmao @ downsy. omg i’ve heard that term many times by 2520s. and really, if you (read: jay-z) have “normal” chromosomes yet you look trisomy 21ish, there’s a problem. and you should sue your parents.
@Gem
I love you for the trisomy 21 reference… why must you woo me with science?
@BBMO, are you saying that Gemmie is blinding you with science? because that is sexxy
@laylah,
JayZ’s droopy lip makes me want to rename him “Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel”. He shall henceforth be referred to as “Cletus”. Spread the word
@Luvvie,
Cletus Camel…
@WordSmith,
Welcome! Here’s your healthy helping of ***glitter***.
The Prayer Cubicle welcomes you but try to stay out of The Corner, OK
@WordSmith, I’m gonna need y’all to stop hating on Brooklyn’s Finests . . . . talk about lil wayne. . . and Plies for that matter . . . looking like walking learning disabilities.
@IVR,
Lil Wayne is no kind of sexy or sexxy. Most rappers look like a$$ but their money along with top notch stylists and designers threads make them attractive. I mean look at 50 cent…did he not look like a monkey when he came out?? Now he’s actually gotten attractive.
@Coco, I respectfully disagree, now 50 just looks like a monkey-donkey hybrid in a suit.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
LOL!! (literally laughing out loud). Ok, ok…I’ll agree with you there. And I have no clue what Vivica Fox was thinking.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I agree w/your statements here. Both in content and structure. And IG. That’s so sexxy.
and i respectfully disagree with both of you.
he looks like a gorilla (of the ape persuasion if you will).
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
now 50 just looks like a monkey-donkey hybrid in a suit.
this made me literally laugh aloud, and making the champ literally do anything is sexxy, since much of what the champ does is done in theory or for strict principle purposes
@IVR,
Lawd Jesus!
RODFLMBO..
*I am shamed to admit that I had a *ahem*
*Whispers*
crush on Plies for like two seconds.
@ChiChi,
don’t tell nobody else… that boy is what I imagine herpes would look like if it were a mammal.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
*wheezing*
Girl….. JUST.DUMB.
LMMFAO
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
DEAD! Please call my mama and tell her funeral arrangements need to be made by the end of the week.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
BWAHAHAHAHAHA not mammalian herpes!!! I quit you and your lifespace. Gimme back my friendship bracelet
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
LMFAO.
Hark! Luvvie, oh sultan of all things ignant, you shant repossess my friendship bracelet OR the keychain and stickers you gave me, so please go sat down.
@ChiChi,
*I am shamed to admit that I had a *ahem*
*Whispers*
crush on Plies for like two seconds.
Don’t be ashamed… it doesn’t matter, its in the past. What is important now is that you are aware of your mis step in choosing a crush and you will be more selective from now on.
@blackberry molasses, Oh merciful one…Bless you
mercifully sexxy….. awwwww yeeeaahhh!
@ChiChi, “Lawd Jesus!
RODFLMBO..
*I am shamed to admit that I had a *ahem*
*Whispers*
crush on Plies for like two seconds.”
I knew a lot of women who was in love with this dude. . . I cannot understand it . . . and then when he opens his mouth. . . I listened to his entire album (my old roomate was one of these women in love with Plies) and I could not believe that every word that he said was meant to be understood by Americans. LiL Wayne I listen to . . . BUT I think of this video everytime I see him on television (hope the link works).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXWIncZHPXQ
@ChiChi,
i did too. its alright. im so proud of myself for just admitting that… i feel like i’m in aa and i just took the first step.
@IVR
“looking like walking learning disabilities.”
This sh*t right here…I said this sh*t right here.
SMH while LMAO
@IVR,
I agree with you that Weezy and Plies are both unfortunate-looking. But that doesn’t make Hov less so. There’s room enough for everyone on this boat.
@WordSmith,
The Unfortunate Boat…. not to be confused with the much sexxier Love Boat.
The Unfortunate Boat is an ocean liner the size of a boat that would have emerged if the Queen Elizabeth II and the Titanic could mate and make little baby boats.
@WordSmith,
I found Jay-z to be quite sexy (i say found cuz i’m older now and don’t really harbor any secret crushes… eh.. i’d like to have one. I think i’m jaded… ne who) … that crush was since reasonable doubt. I’d say it was a combo of his intelligence and confidence. And he seems like he can charm the pants off a lady… that’s a deadly combination.
@Ange, yeah, i kind of wonder if anybody was saying that Biggie was sexxy. sure, some women found him magnetic…but that just makes him a magnet. not sexxy.
@Panama Jackson, i disagree..because i have sexxy duvets..
magnetism IS the definition of sexxy. He convinced at least two women to have his children. He made textbook “attractiveness” compeletly irrelevant. Although i still saw a little cuteness. His mama was attractive, and i think he did little things like lil wayne..to make himself “ugly”.
@Ange,
You right. Biggie was not sexy at all, and he looked a bit Moby Dick-ish. But I digress…
He had Lil Kim and Faith Evans vying for his love so clearly, he used some voodoo on them.
“Biggie, Biggie, Biggie cant you see
Sometime your words just hypnotize me
But I just love your flashy ways”
RIP to the original King of Wonkland
@Luvvie, don’t forget Charli Baltimore. he was slangtunin’ C.B. too…
posterchild for lightskintpernts.
A new commandment I give unto thee that trumps all other commandments. Becomest thou exactly like Kamakula and all hotness shall be delivered unto thee. Bounty will overflow your hands. Milk and honey shall grace your lips daily.
@kamakula,
I prefer strawberries and chocolate. But Milk & Honey are aight too.
@Luvvie,
actually, chocolate and strawberries are among my top faves for lip grazing as well
@kamakula, “Becomest thou exactly like Kamakula and all hotness shall be delivered unto thee. Bounty will overflow your hands. Milk and honey shall grace your lips daily.”
This made me very warm in all the right spots… oooooooeeeeeeee!
@Intellectual Hedonist,
U and ur hot parts (may wanna get that checked with BB Mo) need to back up off my eBoo. lol
@Luvvie, I dont want your eboo… Im just saying that milk and honey delivering honey and bounty overflowing. ooooooooeeeeeeeee…..
get urs Luvvie
@kamakula,
“Milk and honey shall grace your lips daily”
Now you know doggone well most black folks are lactose intolerant.
@RedBeanzNRice,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Gem For Life:”
Das right! My twin gon rep to the death!
*crooked etwin fingaz*
@overit wishes a ninja WOULD!,
I told you both if you kept that up your hands would get stuck like that. *in best Mama voice* Is that what you want???
lmao!!!!!!! when i saw that i thought of ME/gem too!!!
thanks for holding me down, etwin!!! *e-twin walking and holding up etwin gang signs in spite of PBG’s motherly warnings*
@overit wishes a ninja WOULD!,
ya’ll r stoopid…
The key to my sexy is my smile, and even after BBD warned these ninjas, they still be trusting the whole package……
singing: “…beware she’s scheming she’ll make you think you’re dreaming…..”
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I am absolutely compelled to do the dance moves from that video every time I hear that song. That one and “Candy Rain”.
@PBG, wait. did somebody say “rain”? ugh. i’m so sorry…
@charli skipper,
See, I ain’t said a thing about that strong faced girl! I see you starting stuff, Charli! LOL!
@PBG, i apologize! it’s just that…she’s my arch-nemesis.
@charli skipper,
Did you have to bring ol’ Steel-Jawed Rain Pryor into this?? Didja??
Ol’ Ironman Face
@Luvvie,
Ol’ chin looks like it juices on ‘roids lookin’ gal
@PBG, “Candy Rain” is like the 12th best song of all time.
though, if you think about it, if you were to ask any woman this question straight out, without musical backing – my love, do you ever dream of candy-coated raindrops? – she just might slap you and take your cookies.
yo, did anybody else notice that didn’t even MENTION candy anywhere else in the song except the chorus? how you gonna talk about loving some one so much you think you’re gonna die…and then liken her to candy-coated raindrops at the same time.
big brother is watching people.
@Panama Jackson,
Author or not, I think you need to spend some time in the SDC w/Gem for all that extra analyzing.
Go now. And do the Robot on the way…cuz that’s kinda sexxy.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
youll fall in love and youll be screamin dreamiiiin…awww yeah….
now the rap
my favorite line? the low pro ho should be cut like an afro…LMAO
@Shay-d-lady,
Poison, deadly, moving in slow…
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Smiling goes a LONG way. I gravitate towards smiling chicks.
@Monk,
+ alise = gravitational pull
@Monk,
Chip on the shoulder folks make me want to look at Jim Jones for minutes at a time (aka torture my soul)
singing: “…beware she’s scheming she’ll make you think you’re dreaming…..”
quite as it’s kept, this is Ivy St’s theme song (a la my etwin)
Adorable aloofness accompanied by affability always accentuates my awesomeness.
Alliteration is sexxy, b*tches.
@PBG,
Well, when i speak i spark such a pyrotechnic display of smoldering sultriness that ninjas can’t help but sweat me….
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
This is why I heart you.
@Relax, Relate, Alise, you know Im stealing that right?
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
This is totally awesome!
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Oh shit! That was it…
*I didn’t mean to rhyme. LOL
@PBG,
Alliteration is INDEED, mad sexxy. Kudos, eSis.
@Luvvie,
Cranky infants creating a cantankerous chorus of caustic cacophony. Alliteration in NannyLand is sexxy. Get like me, b*tches
Marshmallow Inspiration. You’re welcome, Luvvie.
@PBG,
bad boisterous belligerent b*tching bamma babies
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Palatable paycheck puttin’ peysos in my pockets.
So yeah…it’s all good! LOL!
@PBG,
I think I said the same shyt downthread…however, I didn’t have the alliteration.
I love it though.
@Monk,
Sardonic sagacity sexxiness suckas and I have ‘em sortin’ my socks.
Get like me. Cuz I’m sexxy.
@PBG,
to quote a stanza from one of my fabulous alliteration poems:
“Can I lead you to some luscious ,lascivious, lustful alliteration
Rolling off my tongue lifting limitations.
Licking lightly, livening libido, letting loose
Longing to live lewd and licentious,”
Now that is some hosh*t I can believe in… *drops the mic*
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Heapin’ helpin’ of ho sh*t. Hop up on this hilarity, heffas.
@PBG,
that reminds me of a Devin the Dude lyric.
That is some awesometastic ho sh*t
i like your style, PBG. i do i do.
your attempts to alliterate always accrue ample acknowledgments, further affirming your awesomeness.
@PBG,
you get em e-boo
Hmm. Keys to my very own sexxy. *thinking*
I’m HARD. No, that’s not it. Ok, I know – it’s my smile and the way I smile with my eyes when talking to the gentleman folk. Not flirting, just engaging. Oh yeah, and I think I switch real hard when I walk, lol, but that’s neither here nor there. What else…does stubborness count as swag? Cause if so, I got a whole hell of a lot of that, lol.
I also think that being certifiable is top-notch swag – that’s a check EVERY month, rain or shine, with little or no effort. Straight jackets are a nice touch, though.
Ok so:
1. Smile
2. Eye smile
3. Switchin’
4.Stubborness
5. Designer straight-jackets
Yep, that about sums it up.
@RedBeanzNRice, not the tyra banks patented eye smile? LMAO
@Shay-d-lady,
I’ve mastered that Tyra eye smile…it brings all the sweater vests to the porch. *palin wink*
@PBG,
“t brings all the sweater vests to the porch. *palin wink*”
This is absolutely hilarious.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Hilarious and sexxy.
@PBG, Damn straight… well gone head then (high five)
@PBG,
I am frowning with my eyes at your foolishness
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Turn that frown upside down and maintain your sexxy.
@PBG,
Ur eye grin brings all the dockers to the deck??
@Luvvie,
Her eye grin brings:
the suits to the steps
the gentlemen to the gazeebo
The Polo’s to the porchswing (not US Polo Assn.)
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Do her grinning eyes bring the:
Pimps to the Parlor
Suitors to the Sofa
Admirers to the Attic
@Luvvie,
Wu to the welcome-mat
Panama to the palace
Champ to the chamber
Kamakula to the kitchen
Monk to the master bedroom
VSB’s to the village…
@Luvvie,
Hot dayum…all that.
And the cat lovers to the Cradle.
@Luvvie,
Luvvie to the Loveseat
Alise to the Atrium
PBG to the Penthouse
Overit to the Office
Deviant to the Den
VSBs to the Veranda
luvvie, you mention my etwin ut not the geminator????????? damn. my e-feelings are hurt.
@Shay-d-lady,
“not the tyra banks patented eye smile? LMAO”
Nope, not the Tyra eye smile – mine’s sexxy, hers is mandatory. Matter of fact, she stole it from me and patented it before I could get to the patent office; damn those slow L trains!
@RedBeanzNRice,
Being in my career, I heart you for just mentioning ‘smiling with your eyes’. This is an art that I feel is lost on many women.
@RedBeanzNRice,
1.
@blackberry molasses,
nuh uh. I got it right, lol.
@Monk,
thank ya kindly, sir.
@RedBeanzNRice,
okay…. you’re downgraded to a .5. I can’t knock it off completely. Sorry. I don’t do full renegs… because (wait for it)…. I’m SEXXY
@blackberry molasses,
“I don’t do full renegs… because (wait for it)…. I’m SEXXY”
Why did I see that coming? LMAO
I’ll accept the 5, cause I’m sexxy like that. *cheezes*
you can basically say anything you want to anyone as long as you’re smiling. i don’t know if that makes one sexxy. but it’s a byproduct of sexxtivitiness.
also, i could not agree with the whole “let ‘em know you’re wrong and that you can be wrong” piece any more. i make up at least 4 words a day. and dare anybody to correct sh*t.
@charli skipper,
“you can basically say anything you want to anyone as long as you’re smiling.”
What about *smiling* “I just strangled your dog with my bare hands because I’ve asked you every day for 2 months to do something about his incessant late night howling, but you wouldn’t.” Would that qualify?
@RedBeanzNRice, um…you’re gonna need to insert some giggles with that one. and throw in that trick that jeandra was talking about, where you have the peek-a-boo cleavage going. all with the premise of being innocent and unintentional, of course
@charli skipper,
“um…you’re gonna need to insert some giggles with that one. and throw in that trick that jeandra was talking about, where you have the peek-a-boo cleavage going.”
I was expecting a “no”, lol. But damn, I guess you’re right – you basically CAN say ANYTHING with a smile, and a few accents, lol.
@charli skipper, or actually, just do it nude with some n*pple tassles on, and then start singing , “thoia-thoing” by r. kelly. that should do the trick.
@Panama Jackson,
d.e.a.d. @ this comment.
Unintentional Hotness is sexxy.
That is my claim to fame.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“Unintentional Hotness is sexxy”
You mean like when it’s 102 degrees outside, and you’re hot because you have to be in the heat? Cause that’s just SWEATY.
@RedBeanzNRice,
or in the middle of july you go to your car and it’s been in the parking lot all day and it feels like satan’s cleavage? i would prefer to not be hot.
@Jeandra,
“or in the middle of july you go to your car and it’s been in the parking lot all day and it feels like satan’s cleavage? ”
Jeandra, you may have just earned urself an all expense paid trip to the Corner. Satan’s cleavage? lmao!!!
@Luvvie,
man, since it’s hell, i just assumed satan was unhealthy. so it can be man cleave or woman cleave.
@Luvvie,
Jeandra, you may have just earned urself an all expense paid trip to the Corner. Satan’s cleavage? lmao!!!
this reminded me of a scene from “30 rock”, where this critic referred to jack’s champagne as “tasting like satan’s urine, after he ate asparagus”.
@The Champ,
i’ve been meaning to check out that show.
@RedBeanzNRice, NO that’s not what I mean
I mean like when you throw on a baseball cap and your hair in a pony tail and hope you dont run into anyone on your way to run a quick errand and every man you see makes a pass at you cause they think you look hot!
your you are on your way back from a work out a little flushed and sweaty not really looking your best but get complimented on your “glow”
you arent trying to look hot, yet you come accross as hot.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Oh.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Zing!!!!
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Unintentional hotness is the flyest isht ever. Have a bruh do a double take like “damn…sis kinda has it going on…”
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, I actually get told that alot. My response is usually “really?” hmm go figure.
The unintentional hotness combined with humility is ultra sexxy.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
2.
the key to sexy, in my humble, is what i call the peek-a-boo.
it’s wearing a crisp white blouse with a hint of lingerie showing, the long black skirts with slits in the back and high boots. sexy is subtle.
being overly sexy usually makes you feel uncomfortable because it’s too tight, or too short or whatever. subtle sexy allows you to still be mostly comfortable and almost a little naughty for showing your goods to the bloodhounds.
My name is Jeandra, and I approve this message.
@Jeandra,
um……..love it!
@charli skipper,
thank you. and good evening
@Jeandra,
3.
hmm, maybe we should discuss what is the key to sexy on a man.
@Jeandra, being like Panama.
@Panama Jackson,
i was going to say that.
@Jeandra,
Intelligence and cologne. Its that easy.
@Dom,
But there are rules to cologne:
1. axe body spray does not count, nor does Hi Karate
2. no cologne atop funk
3. do not bathe in it
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Damn. Not High Karate. *dead*
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I second all three of the aforementioned notions. Nothing worse cologne AND b.o.
I also hate the smell of Jean Nate. I keep joking with my mom thats gonna be her Christmas gift.
i am an axe-hussy. axe makes me go ape-sh*t (50-sh*t, if you will). totally like some floozy off them commercials. my ex used to use axe (unbeknown to me) and after he moved to another city, and i smelled the axe smell, i would literally follow the scent, thinking he had to be around some where. the sh*t was wild. i’m amazed it really has that kind of affect on me.
@Gem of the Ocean,
i believe every word of this, which scares and amuses me
“after he moved to another city, and i smelled the axe smell, i would literally follow the scent, thinking he had to be around some where.”
Damn son, no Pavlov’s Dog-o!
lmao what can i say?? i am what i study *shrugs*
@Gem of the Ocean, Im going to need you to get an olfactory nerve replacement stat
i can replace my olfactory nerve but that won’t change the memories it’s already implanted in my limbic system, DAMN THESE NEURONS!!!!
@Dom,
i like the meaningful glance followed by the sly smile.
@Jeandra,
That works too. If he can actually speak intelligently and smells pretty he gets extra points though.
@Dom,
an intelligent man that can make me laugh.
i can guarantee several home cooked meals if he has that ability.
@Jeandra,
this whole thread is being counted. that doesn’t mean it ain’t right. LMAO
9.
@blackberry molasses,
wait what are we counting? i missed that part.
@Jeandra,
look down at thread number 14.
@blackberry molasses,
so what are these determining factors for sexy vs sexxy.
@Jeandra,
“2nd Commandment: Thou shalt realize that you don’t have to look sexxy to be sexxy, you have to swag sexxy.
Just let your soul glow, just let it shine thru. You know why? It’s cuz that’s all that matters.”
— Panama Jackson
(you do know that I’m just teasing everyone, right? cuz to take me seriously is so not sexxy.
@blackberry molasses,
oh no, i got you. i wanted your determining though. panama’s were a lil obtuse for me.
@Jeandra,
Quick n dirty cuz i’m late for a meeting..
I determine sexxy to be the inner you that radiates, hypnotizes, mesmerizes, and magnetizes others. The quirks you posess that are natural and not forced, but are confusing/exciting to other people (and not just the objects of your desire (be they male or female). What is it about the REAL you that makes me want to let you know the REAL me?
There is more, but my staff believes in the 15 minute rule from college…
@blackberry molasses,
in that case, what truly makes me sexy. my smile and im funny that a mofo. that alone makes me more awesome than everyone!
I determine sexxy to be the inner you that radiates, hypnotizes, mesmerizes, and magnetizes others. The quirks you posess that are natural and not forced, but are confusing/exciting to other people (and not just the objects of your desire (be they male or female). What is it about the REAL you that makes me want to let you know the REAL me?
if i were a lesbo ho, i’d sho be a BBMo-lesbo-ho. why?? cuz that chick is on point with her sexxiness.
@Jeandra,
The ability to approach a woman respectfully and when/if turned down, to leave respectfully as well.
**Very Sexxy!**
@I’m Just Saying,
i’m going to double down on that.
what makes me sexxay….LOL shyt I dont know.. Im just freakin awesome…God saw fit to make me this way
but I guess if I had to list the ways I am awesomely sexxay it would be
my hoodbougiedowntoearth mellow but aint going perfecta mix..oh and I have awesome taste in music, movies and I actually READ
I got the duality of the negro shyt down! you can take me to the white house and yo momma’s house and I would be comfortable in both..
to quote my new themsong
1st round draft pic yeah Im a muthaf!@cken balla…
yeah biatches
Im amazing.
Im also tipsy….and off topic but per the post I can do that because I am amazing and sexxy..amasexy
@Shay-d-lady, oh and I have been told I have a nice smile and a great sense of humor…..those might also help…on that note…me and my last martini..are going to bed…..seacrest out.
@Shay-d-lady,
“Im just freakin awesome…God saw fit to make me this way”
Girl, go head wit ya self, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice, i have a similar motto:
“don’t blame me, i didn’t ask for this life.”
@Panama Jackson,
““don’t blame me, i didn’t ask for this life.”
I swear, yall be killin me with your modesty, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice, i know right. i find it so hard to talk about myself and the greatness that is me at times.
its like, i want to speak of my awesome awesomeness, but i’m too shy to do so.
i need help.
@Panama Jackson,
“i know right. i find it so hard to talk about myself and the greatness that is me at times.”
Smh @ that whole comment. You’re too much for your own good, lol
Zoinks!!
@Shay-d-lady,
“the duality of the negro”
Can i steal this for my upcomming memoir…
and this…
what makes me sexxay….LOL shyt I dont know.. Im just freakin awesome…God saw fit to make me this way
is why i e-lub you, shay-d. lol. i stay telling my parental units they should thank God for the awesomeness that is me. i make THEM look good, and that is worth some hallelujah, spirit-filled praise. so to the PU, “you’re welcome”
My curves and my smile.
The guys who are sexiest to me are the ones who have a swagger and confidence. It works everytime..
@Leila,
4.
PJ your commandments read a lot like the ones for being a spaz…
Co-incidentally, being a spaz is part of my sexxy.
I am inappropriate as h3ll and laugh at sh*t I know other less sexxy people don’t see the humor/irony in.
I quote movies and rap lyrics as part of my everyday speak- and they make perfect sense.
Unabashed unashamed dorkdom (I.e the Yoda Speak thing– done that in a long time, I have not. time to resurrect that, it must be.)
Self-depreciating humor
I am committed to the perpetuity of awesome silly sh*t, such as trademarking my cool a$$ random ideas
(I.E. Diva Dust ™ )
Whenever people say to me “Girl, you are a mess, you know that?” they have been hit by my sexxy.
@blackberry molasses,
If this comment were a meal, it’d be some Jollof Rice cooked by my Grandma, and I’d savor every grain. Then I’d drink some Bailey’s to wash it down. And get the case of the itis so perfect, my REM sleep would be double and I’d dream about it.
THAT is how much I cosign this statement. Goodnite VSBers.
@Luvvie,
thanks Luvster… man, what i wouldn’t do for some of my G’mama’s jollof right now
**looks up plane tickets to Accra, by way of Dubai**
…Emirates wants HOW MUCH for a ticket?!?! Eff dat…
**mumbles** higha$$planeticketANDgottabringgifts ANDsendabarrelaheadofmeANDgetbribemoneyaswell.Nah son
**e mails mom to make some jollof this weekend**
(If you said “this girl is JUST.DUMB.” while reading this comment.. you have been hit by BBMo’s sexxy)
and with that, I’m heading to the conjugal TempurPedic… night folks!
and THIS…
And get the case of the itis so perfect, my REM sleep would be double and I’d dream about it.
…is why i e-lub YOU, luvvie duvvie. REM is where it’s at!! ppl be sleepin (or not sleeping??) on the magnificence of quality rest.
Agreeing, I am. Awesome, you are!
@8th Wonder,
Appreciate the appreciation, I do. Since my e-twin you are, awesome, you are also! Law of the Universe this is.
@blackberry molasses,
“I am committed to the perpetuity of awesome silly sh*t”
this is how i live my life too. well that and by the belief that you can’t turn down any adventure (that won’t get you dead or in trouble with the S.O.) if there’s even a remote possibility that a great story will come out of it.
life is all about the stories.
@Panama Jackson,
I live for stories to… especially the stories that get the “WTF is WRONG with you?!” response….
“My mindframe is identical to one out of a thou”
We are the few, the proud… the sexxy
@blackberry molasses,
“We are the few, the proud… the sexxy”
we need to get this on a shirt, fast. =]
even far beyond this comment, i thought you were damn awesomely sexxy. and now you’ve given me more confirmation that you, indeed, are all that you say (and i think) you are.
@Gem of the Ocean,
I e-lubs you like a fat kid loves cake, Gemmie…
You.Are.Sexxy!!!!!
thanks BBMo!! but ummm for clarification purposes on this….
I e-lubs you like a fat kid loves cake, Gemmie…
how much e-lub is that exactly?? i’m not well versed in fat kid mathematics.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Das a WHOLE LOTTA LUB!!!! How you think the kid got fat (yeah, we know, genetics n’sh*t, nature vs. nurture and all that, but work wit me on this)?
lmao. i can dig it.
besides, i just went to a seminar on calories (for survival or pleasure??) and i learned that when one loses weight (no matter how much they weigh) their leptin levels get outta wack and the brain basically becomes “hungry” and thus makes one eat to regain the weight back.
basically our own f*cking brains are working against our bodies!!!! what kinda sh*t is that?!?!
@Gem of the Ocean,
the kind of h3llfire that Ms. Eve brought upon the human race by eating that frikkin forbidden fruit.
God gave you ONE commandment homegirl…
I’m finsta have WORDS with her when I get past the Pearly Gates. She got some ‘splaining to do.
Hmmmm reading some of the comments, I think people are confusing sexy with sexxy.
@blackberry molasses,
Peej, wanna throw out an over/under? I’m putting it at 29. wait… we already got like 6. 29 might be too low. 42… that’s mine.
@blackberry molasses,
“Peej, wanna throw out an over/under”
What do you mean by the over/under? I’ve seen it before, and I don’t know what it all means. Can you help me please?
@RedBeanzNRice,
hit me on my other communication method… gchat and i’ll fill u in.
its my gumbent name at gmail.com (click on my link to find it)
@blackberry molasses, id guess more like 50…however…that’s okay, folks should be free to define their sexxy.
even if they don’t get that sex-y doesn’t mean sexxy. lol.
i live for the confusion of it all.
@blackberry molasses,
I’m in – 26
@shhwhisper,
yessssss… another player of the odds.
we still have 8 hours, but time is against us since the workday is drawing to a close
What makes me SEXXY is,
1. My sense of humor – I state this only because I can make even dudes laugh
2-9 – Other cute traits that describe my awesomeness… Note #10 supersedes most others!
10. PERFECT Ass to Waist Ratio …. yes I said it. Perfect! – for you ladies that possess this, you are Smiling right now… and so is your guy.
Now, these qualities would be enough to make any chick Sexy. but to achieve that next level, I don’t let it define me and I don’t Overdo it. There’s a well defined line between Sexxy and Hoe-ish. That line is normally crossed in (neon pink stilettos + clear heel, cameltoe inducing pants and a Crispy Blond weave). The hotness will and should come naturally or at least appear effortless.
@Dat Chick, I need evidence or more people.
ASAP
@Dat Chick,
LOL @ “Crispy Blond Weave”!!
That doesn’t sound good @ all!
@PBG,
Crispy Blond Weave in kinda like a straw hairhat.
@PBG, Had to include that… I saw that the other day. Just bad.
@Dat Chick,
5.
@blackberry molasses,
Ehhh not everyone knows … but I am
@Dat Chick,
Don’t even break it out if you ain’t gonna share. As important and imperative a perfect ATW Ratio is to convoluted exam we call the wifey test, you need more people.
“passenger’s a redbone, her weave look like some curly fries” – Jeezy
@Dat Chick,
10. PERFECT Ass to Waist Ratio …. yes I said it. Perfect! – for you ladies that possess this, you are Smiling right now… and so is your guy.
this is useless without pics
@The Champ, It is a fact. If there’s ever a VSB gathering I’ll show up … but me posting pic.. ahh no. also.. People don’t believe pics. I would just be accused of Photoshopping.
Believe it or not. It is what it is. —- as sure as Bush can duck a shoe..
Uhhh sexxy with two “x” is not vintage Panama…it’s more like vintage Pornhub, lol.
Yeah so I see a lot of people here talking about subtle sexiness and that’s all well and dandy…but since I don’t do subtle I’ll just tell it like it is…
I’m sexy just because. I’m an attractive girl with a beautiful smile and a confident strut.
Also I do this squinted eye, slightly parted lip thing when I’m walking through a crowd of men while looking past them. That for some reason always seems to work.
Oh and I have ridiculously high ambitions, coupled that with how smart I actually am, my vernacular and most men fall…and hard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah I sound conceited…well I told you that I didn’t do subtle. I guess this would mean that I have #5 down packed…and if you don’t like it I suggest you read #6…lol.
If you don’t believe me check out my blog….trust that it’s a HOT @SS MESS!!
@Teacia, Here is 1. I think this is sexy not “sexxy”
@I take my check in all Peysos please!, uhhhh have you met me…yeah it’s not even a close one, lol.
@I take my check in all Peysos please!,
are you keeping count with me? because this isn’t #1. Including this comment, we at like 7.
@blackberry molasses, im counting with u for now on
@I take my check in all Peysos please!,
Imma need you to take over ’round about 1PM Eastern. I have a meeting until 3
@Teacia, Only Tbone could write this list and ACTUALLY get away with it..and ACTUALLY make it sexxy in a Mae West “Its not the men in my life..but the life in my men” kind of way.
@Teacia,
“Uhhh sexxy with two “x” is not vintage Panama…it’s more like vintage Pornhub, lol.”
see? i started this sexxy sh*t…and this the motherf*cking thanks i get?!?!?
@Teacia, “confident strut”
I have had some of my male students say they like how I walk, that I walk like I have purpose. My usual response is “that’s because I do have purpose”
What makes the fabulous Sunny sexy?
1. Complete goofiness: I’m not scared to be goofy or a cornball. I own that -ish.
2. Charm: I can charm the pants off anyone… including Gargamel.
3. Style: I take great pride in my appearance at least 95% of the time.
4. Full lips: Keep ‘em glossed up with Vicki Secret lip gloss (need I say more?)
5. My Walk that was bought and paid for: Jay Z said it best, “she dress her a$$ of and her walk is mean.”
6. Innocence: I am not jaded, I don’t put on airs for anybody.. I’m me and you love it.
(I tried to be cocky with this… did it work? LOL
)
@Nicki Sunshine, Sunny McSunshine…the fact that you have 4ft of legs makes you sexxay, lol!!
*sulking with envy*
@Teacia, Thanks baby girl!!!!!!
Honey I am jealous of your HOUR GLASS!!!! ( I want one of those!)
@Nicki Sunshine,
6.
I love the list–let there be a VSB Sexiness Revolution.
@Shelia, viva la rev-oh-lou-she-on.
I don’t even know how to come at this. I will just sexxy is still alive VSB P and it drops by from time to time at MrSwagger.com.
@J. McFly, lol…i’m not even sure how to approach this.
beauty in distortion.
2 points if anybody can tell me where i got that phrase from.
@Panama Jackson,
Um J Davey?
@RedBeanzNRice, good job.
erybody don’t be knowing about Jack Davey and Brook D’Leau. or even that the girl has the boys name and the boy has the girls name.
I’m tryna see if i can find some sexxy on sale cause i dont have any
I don’t have any voodoo that i do.
wait do my dust ruffles and linen closet count?
@Princess Duvet, u got enough voodoo for me dont worry
@I take my check in all Peysos please!,
**all shy**
I do???? thanks PeyPey
Maybe I just need to harness and OWN my inner sexxy.
thats my answer..it just came to me…LOL
sexxy really starts on the inside. The outside is just that inner representation of what you got.
@Princess Duvet, i’m inspiring and what not
@Princess Duvet, Target is selling sexxy with free shipping until midnight december 18th.
@Panama Jackson, You;re probably kidding..but Target has some of the BEST clothes EVER..and when DVF starts designing for them..
im moving INSIDE of the warehouse. Thats right. Im moving to Target.
@Princess Duvet, um i shop at Target. hell, i’m looking at this uberfly 4-piece suit right now…online.
the 4th piece?
the suspenders.
@Panama Jackson,
now you gettin carried away..
men buy suits at target??? Sexxy is having at least 4 suits tailored..Nordstroms is your inseam friend.
@Panama Jackson,
If you buy a suit from target, your SEXXY card shall be revoked.
And I shall refer to you as the Polyester Dapper Don
@Luvvie,
ol’ mystery fabric face!
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Ol’ 10% Polyurethane, 50% Viscose, 20% Lycra, 10%Poly, 9.5% Ester, .5% Cotton Face
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
not Polyurethane, Bwhaaaaahaaaa!!!!!
@Luvie and Alise…
i just went to target online and though the fabric for the men’s suits/seperates is a little suspect..the styles are ACTUALLY nice. My only concern is the length and measurements..there’s some highwater-ation potential goings ons…
but who am i to judge a pant leg..i mean maybe the temptation look is what p-fiddy is going for.
@Princess Duvet,
Not much looks worse than a man in a bad suit. Ugh. Makes my eyeballs sweat and compels me to roasting activities.
@PBG,
Bad suits make my forehead wrinkle and my mouth scowl. And it makes babies cry and unicorns sing a sad song.
*no unicorns were harmed in the writing of that comment*
signed,
The Unicorn Wrangler
@PBG,
I saw a bad suit perpetrator on the train platform this morning… he was also perpetrating the ‘Donald’ comb-over
made me want to smack the bajiggers out of his 5 o’clock shadow at 7:30 am lookin self
@Princess Duvet, and i am the biggest fan of the Temptations outside of their mamas.
I KNOW YOU WANNA LEAVE ME, BUT I REFUSE TO LET YOU GO….
anybody else but me realize how stalkerish and crime-ridden a lot of the hits from the 60s and 70s were???
ways that the champ is sexxy
i just had pizza and orange juice for breakfast. thats sexxy.
i might have been the first and will probably definitely be the last person in the tri-state area with a sidekick. thats sexxy.
i have a white rug in my kitchen, and i occasionally make kool-aid while standing on said rug. thats sexxy.
i’ve received 2 compliments on my clothes today so far, despite the fact that my hands are so ashy that they look like they were in that new lebron commerical. thats sexxy.
sometimes when i’m bored, i read critics reviews of movies i’ve already seen. thats sexxy.
according to a friend, i’m so big-headed and bowlegged that i resemble a 6’1 midget. thats sexxy.
lastly, i call myself “the champ” just because the steelers won a super bowl in 2006. thats the epitome of sexxy
@The Champ,
**hands Mr. Champs the shea butter from my Everything Bag**
Don’t walk off with that, Ashy McAsherstein.
@PBG,
you are doing a public service… that is sexxy
@blackberry molasses, lol…i second that!!
@The Champ,
“i just had pizza and orange juice for breakfast. thats sexxy.”
No, that’s heartburn.
@The Champ,
lastly, i call myself “the champ” just because the steelers won a super bowl in 2006. thats the epitome of sexxy
that sh!t IS sexxy….
)
@The Champ,
I got work to do today (for at least 2 hrs) but I had to respond to this.
“according to a friend, i’m so big-headed and bowlegged that i resemble a 6?1 midget. thats sexxy.”
With a hearty bwahahahahahahahahahaha. *dead* Call A&R PLEASE!!
Till later…
@Luvvie,
I promise BBJ, when you come to DC, I am taking you to get a pic in front of that dayum funegro home since you’re always invoking their name! LMAO!!
“according to a friend, i’m so big-headed and bowlegged that i resemble a 6?1 midget. thats sexxy.”
I thought that was called unfortunate, not sexxy.
Go fig.
@The Champ,
Pizza and OJ? I’m going to ask that you have a water chaser with that as preventative skin treatment.
With regards to said rug, are you washing the dishes afterwards on said rug? now that’s sexxy.
and do it in some draws, that helps.
big headed and bow legged: is the ear to ear ratio the same as the calf to calf ratio?
@Jeandra,
*dead* @ “big headed and bow legged: is the ear to ear ratio the same as the calf to calf ratio?”
@The Champ, i have a white rug in my kitchen, and i occasionally make kool-aid while standing on said rug. thats sexxy.
This sh*t right here…this sh*t…right here…is real sexxy!!
@N.I.A. isasexxymytha….,
LOL!!!!!!
ok Katt.
i have a white rug in my kitchen, and i occasionally make kool-aid while standing on said rug. thats sexxy.
does a particular recent kool-aid spillage on said rug in any way attenuate your sexxy??
@The Champ,
You make kool-aid on a white rug. That ain’t just sexxai, it’s faulkin incredible!
@The Champ, i call myself “the champ” just because the steelers won a super bowl in 2006. thats the epitome of sexxy
I get some sexxy by association 4 this one
@The Champ,
sidekicks are NOT sexxy… they are the spawns of Satan.
What is the key to my sexxy? One word. Humble.
Downplaying my sexxy with humbleness always works. People already feel the confidence and cool vibe so when they discover the unpretentiousness in me, it allows them to open up…even if they weren’t already open before.
@Monk,
“What is the key to my sexxy? One word. Humble.”
*swooning*
@Monk, Humility is way SEXXY!!!!
My sexxy?
The unexpected combination of a small girl with a dangerously low tolerance for the bs guys throw at small girls. And a bad temper.
For some reason, this is attractive to people, particularly the men who initiate the bs. Moreso to the ones around who saw how I handled it.
@WordSmith, yeah i can dig it…i could def see how that would work, my bestie is the same way and it works for her too.
This just in…feds cut interest rates under the weight of my sexxiness…
And you bammaz thought it was because of sub-prime lending…silly humans.
@CPT Callamity,
this made me bust out laughing… sexxy.
@CPT Callamity
This is rather funny. And by funny I mean sexxy.
@CPT Callamity,
That’s some sexxy I can believe in.
@PBG,
Oh believe it…
@PBG,
“That’s some sexxy I can believe in.”
needs to be on a shirt.
@CPT Callamity,
This was too funny, which makes it extra sexxy.
It’s a combination of shiggity for me…a sexxy walk in a good jean (or whatever I have on), subtle hints as to what I might look like without clothes, random silly sh!t (said/done regularly), bougie-ness when necessary, hood-ness when necessary, intelligence, the ability to participate in a convo about politics and why Jim Jones sucks so badly all in the same breath, my extreme lack of modesty (when appropriate), my love for off-color jokes about ANYTHING (especially stuff ppl are sensitive about)…um I’m sure there’s more…but in a nutshell…I’m just pretty awesome…which makes me pretty d@mn sexxy.
Like Kanye said….
Hey baby
Am I crazy
Or was u giving me the eye
You said maybe (yea)
Well you crazy
Because I know I’m too fly
I already know I’m too fly
@This Just In,
I’m just pretty awesome…which makes me pretty d@mn sexxy.
and when its all said and done, that’s all that matters…
@This Just In,
Hmmmm… this might have to be number 9.5 because of this
“a sexxy walk in a good jean (or whatever I have on), subtle hints as to what I might look like without clothes”
6th Commandment: If people don’t get you…f*ck ‘em up against the wall. Oh wait…sorry. Thou shalt if people don’t get you…f*ck ‘em up against the wall.
This one reminded me an Elbert Hubbard quote I heard in 8th grade and have kept in my rotation. ‘Never Explain Yourself–Your friends dont need it and your enemies wont believe you anyway. ‘
Since I heard this one, I have made it my business not to justify a gotdayum thing I do to another human being.
@Suga&Spice,
I feel that!!!
…it’s my prerogative…i can do what i wanna do…it’s my prerogative…
did i just quote bobby brown?? what in the world….
@This Just In, Bobby Brown is the king of R&B.
and ive said it once and i’ll say it again, Don’t Be Cruel is the BEST R&B album ever.
which includes any Guy album…anybody who thinks Guy’s self-titled debut album is better is on that stuff. and by stuff i mean crack.
and crack is not sexxy. mostly cuz its wack.
don’t you like how that came full circle back to whitney?
@Panama Jackson,
Crack is wack….nuff said.
now, that’s not enough…. crack is also cheap (so show me the receipts).
@Panama Jackson,
How can ONE hit album qualify a man to be KING of R&B?? Don’t get me wrong…I love the Don’t Be Cruel album, and I do mean LOVE it, definitely a top R&B album…but I don’t know about KING of entire genre.
He’s too crazy and nasty (especially because he chews tobacco) to be crowned king of R&B.
@Coco, hey, I didn’t say it, Whitney did. lol.
don’t shoot the messenger.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL…oh ok…well, can you relay that message to Whitney? I think she got the memo though…being that she left him.
@Coco, it makes him top because he created that bad boy R&B shyt with that one album..who did that shyt before bobby? before him R&B singers were soft sanging sappys…..But my name is bobby? with the best weak rapper interludes ever…he made a song about ghostbusters classic…..
@Suga&Spice, “Never Explain Yourself–Your friends dont need it and your enemies wont believe you anyway. ‘
”
i like this..
ron hubbard and elbert related ?? nevamind..Jesus is gonna be wikipedia today.
@Suga&Spice,
I’ve heard that quote before. Now I need to live it.
This is what makes me extra sexxy, unabashed self promotion and shameless plugging and spitting hot poetry fiyah! http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com/2008/09/beauiful-yes.html
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Well, since we’re self promoting…
I got some textual relations and sockling fetish on MY blog!
And I just hosted the Great Grits Debate of ’08 on my Facebook profile.
Salt n’ Pepper Grits are sexxy.
@PBG, cheese grits with sprankle cheese ala britneys father…are the sexxiest…
being sexxy is just about being comfortable with yourself.
not giving a damn.
allowing yourself to be goofy. showing off your curves in a normal outfit… not looking like you are about to hang from a pole.
when you are so comfortable with yourself to the point where you don’t care how you are perceived, you exude sexxiness. you become intriguing to the opposite sex.
this is a fact.
@laylah, chuuch.
My Sexxy?
-My voice. I’ve been getting over since I was 13 because of the baritone. Wife still loves it when I call her midday or walk up on her from behind while she’s doing dishes on some Barry White isht…
-I do at least 3x more listening than talking. And when I listen, I do it intently.
-When I do talk, (which is not much unless I’m teaching) it’s coming from the heart. Like Biggie said…
“If I said it-I meant it/bite my tongue for no one/call me evil/I’m unbelieveable”
and I am.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, interesting to me how much Biggie is showing up today in a post about being sexxy.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, “I’ve been getting over since I was 13 because of the baritone. Wife still loves it when I call her midday or walk up on her from behind while she’s doing dishes on some Barry White isht”
can you call my cell phone and leave a message?
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
“I do at least 3x more listening than talking. And when I listen, I do it intently.”
this is sooo sexxy. men don’t understand how much more buns they would get if they would just shut the hell up!!
My skin is soft. I touch myself alot. I invite you to touch too.
@Dom,
8.
@Dom, um…damn?
@Panama Jackson, double DAMN!
@Panama Jackson and IH,
Well, you asked…
@Dom,
Go SAT DOWN
My next foray into the world of Sexxy is making e-friends w/the Sockling Lover from youtube.
Creepy, I know. But shaking my liliputian fists @ lions is what makes me even more sexxy than you.
@PBG,
liliputian. I love that word! Goooo Gulliver!
@PBG,
You remind me of my idol Pootie Tang. You put the ceckxsei in the uncexy. Pimp glidder! You fine lil lilliputan fist havin hawt choklit drop. Hug n kiss yoself.
@WuDaMan,
I am not at all surprised that Pootie Tang is your idol. I actually thought you two may have been related. Half second cousins on your grandma-in-law’s side.
@PBG,
…
Keys to my sexxy by Cornell Westside aka Carver G Woodson:
1) Listening to lots of Camp Lo
2) Living by the mantra, “F*ck yo feelings!”
3) Making women laugh til their panties magically disappear
4) Sharing my unorthodox ways of thinking with the people who are most likely to disagree with me and subsequently looking at them crazy for ACTUALLY disagreeing with me.
And this is why I am the South Jersey/Philadelphia resident expert in sexxiness, sexxism, sexxology, and any other suffix i can add to the word sexx
@Cornell Westside, and by “lots of camp lo” i assume you mean “uptown saturday night on repeat” right?
they’re other two albums (LPs) were booty. though the song “glow” was that crack.
@Panama Jackson,
Uptown Saturday Night was that SH*T!
I play that album at least twice a day… its got heavy rotation on my ipod
@Panama Jackson,
Actually, when I lived in Dallas I would listen to the Fort Apache Mixtape everytime I went out…everything was a 30 minute drive away and the CD is 34 minutes and 55 seconds long lol.
I like all their albums personally. Let’s Do It Again (their 2nd album) not only bangs, but it was the first CD I purchased and played in my first car that I bought that summer…Deucy Lucy my ’91 Mercury Tracer…I still remember the day I bought that album lol.
@Cornell Westside,
“And this is why I am the South Jersey/Philadelphia resident expert in sexxiness, sexxism, sexxology, and any other suffix i can add to the word sexx”
We are going to battle over this designation right here homie… get yo mind right
Uptown Saturday Night was and still is the sh*t!!!! The other two…not so much.
What happened????
@AkShone, well, i think people realized that them two weren’t saying sh*t. the first album thrived on that superhot production by Ski. the production wasn’t so hot afterwards so you were forced to listen to them ninjas. that was a chore in and of itself.
litttle bit of trivia: Jay-Z tried everything he could to get the “Luchini” beat from Ski for Reasonable Doubt, including offering him a suitcase full of money for it. But Camp Lo was Ski’s group and he refused to give it up and gave Jay “Feelin’ It” instead.
@Panama Jackson,
they weren’t really saying sh*t… were they?? doesn’t matter, its still a hot album
@Panama Jackson, DAYUM I would have loved to hear Jay on that joint.. but Feelin it is one of my JAY Z classics to this day….
I’m sexxy because I am in the worst mood ever, just wiped some tears from my corneas, and still decided to post why I’m sexxy, because it was clearly the sexxy thing to do.
I’m sexxy because when I roast you, you feel privileged(shot out to Champ).
I’m sexxy because I do/say what I want and implore you to attempt to stop me.
I’m sexxy because I’m the 8th Wonder, and your arms (and probably your legs, too) are too short to box with the sexxy.
Writing this made me feel even sexxier.
@8th Wonder, your sexxy cause your words made me feel your sexxy and that I’m sexxier for reading them.
@8th Wonder,
Go e-twin!!!!!!
Ooze SEXXY. Be SEXXY.
and *ehugs*–feel better mamita
@8th Wonder,
My arms and legs are both too short box w/your sexxy. I require a step-stool to tell you a secret.
@8th Wonder,
You sexxy b/c your cup runneth over with IG.
8th wondra, you have most definitely mesmorized me with your lady long leggedness and sexxiness. thanks for making me want to upgrade my own self. *bowing*
@Ocho Pan,
Girl you cecksey cuz you got a way of looking like just what some body wants. Then you make a joke and they not only grin (like the smile you get when you see or get just what you wanted when you wanted it or after a long longing) but a laugh.
*disclaimer I think that this is why comedy is so important a factor in a couples stuffs*
All jokes aside, this just made my day.
Thanks, Wu-boo.
@Ocho Pan,
I can understand. There is a ShIte storm w/ twisters n a running box fan in it all week in my cube world. But through it all I remember. The BBJ made me cekxsay. You smelcome *smooches* mmm you been eating a hostess suzie Q. I need more snack cake contraband
@8th Wonder,
I’m sexxy because I’m the 8th Wonder, and your arms (and probably your legs, too) are too short to box with the sexxy
this is one of my all time favorite phrases… u used it well.
Words can not do my sexxiness justice. Therefore I will not even try…..just know I am sexxy and sexy
@V Renee, Hot!!
Panny…that sounds like my favorite Bernie Mac quote. “If people don’t like you when you be yourself fcuk em! fcuk ‘em up the wall….with handcuffs on and crazy glue on the lips!!”
Rip Bernie Mac
@SouthParkNinja, and it was taken from the late great Bernie Mac.
and i’m not sure or not, so welcome and sh*t??
@Panama Jackson, thanks!
I posted a few months ago but now I have a job where I actually have to work sometimes. The nerve of these people….they actually want me to work to get a paycheck……
@SouthParkNinja, working is that bullsh*t.
What makes me sexxy? I don’t think I have that… I think I’m just regular old girl next door demeanor, baduismlike randomness, uncharacteristicly witty wit and awesomely lame humor.
I’m one sexxy bi*ch, bi*ches!
The keys to my sexy.
1. I have a MEAN walk. I got a natural twist from my momma and my daddy never, ever let me walk with my head down or looking at the ground. It was a rule that you look at everyones face when you are walking by. You combine these and honey watch out.
2. I have no problem telling everybody how dayum sexy I am, but I still blush when someone else points it out.
3. I never explain myself. I may analyze myself, but explain it to another human being…negro please. It is what it is, you either deal with it or you dont. Real Simple
@Suga&Spice,
10.
My Sexxiness is off the charts:
Why?
I’m simpler than addition but more complicated than quantum physics
Rawer than a fresh wound but cleaner than fresh cotton
If I was a picture, I’d be a classic black and white, but my colors would seep through
If I was a work of music, I’d be an aria, full of life, love, volume & strength
I’m at peace with my complexity because my layers are what make me
My love is like a child’s: free of judgment and innocent
My heart is like a lion’s: strong-willed and dominant
My life is like a saint’s: lived as best as I know but flawed
THIS is why I’s SEXXY
Oh, and ummm I could roast the White off Michael Jackson, the perm our of Sharpton’s hair, and the TANG out of Ne-Yo’s wrist.
@Luvvie,
I quit you for “roast the tang out of Ne-Yo’s wrist”.
@PBG,
You cant quit me! You love me!
@Luvvie,
Your comprehension is too complex. And your hilarity is surpassed only by your Ig…You is SEXXY
i’m… is …. just… in…. awe
@Gem of the Ocean,
Why you in awe, Gemmie?
cuz you’re awe-some.
@Luvvie,
So even though we’re both females and I am FAR from gay/lesbian/homochex.. I think I need to let you know that I love you.. your sexxitivy explanation was AMAZING.. annnnd I died at ‘I could roast the White off Michael Jackson, the perm our of Sharpton’s hair, and the TANG out of Ne-Yo’s wrist.’
@SimplyComplex formerly Ms. L,
I dig you for digging my IG, SimplyComplex. Is you new to our VSB land?? I’ll even give you the tour for the free
Additionally:
I’m so sexxy the goose couldn’t gander
So sexxy the milk refuses to stay in the carton
Sexxy enough to stop John from being a legend, now Jay can’t Z with Bey, oh my, oh me…
This type of sexxy is so serious…
…I’m sexxy @ you.
G’day.
@8th Wonder,
Your sexxy is epic, Aif Wondra.
@PBG,
Ol’ Beyowulf Odyssey Illian sexxy
Ole Oedipus except with both eyes and a mama I don’t intend on marrying sexxy.
@8th Wonder,
Ol Jason and the Argonauts Sexxy
@blackberry molasses,
Herculean Sexxy.
@8th Wonder, Pandora sexxy
What’s in that box, nunya damn business sexxy.
@8th Wonder,
Ol’ Icarius-I-swear-I-believe-I-can-fly-but-not-like-RKelly sexxy.
NOT kelz!!! *dead*
@Ms. Sula,
…waxy winged lookin’ boy
@PBG,
Ol’ Homer we still dont know if you was real sexxy
I’m sexxy because I say so…and I say so because it’s true.
@N.I.A. isonesexxymutha….,
That’s an axiom and those are not debatable.
Sexxy points!
I never took the time to think about the fact that I’m so seccsee, sometimes I forget how to spell. Mainly because it’s a fact. And who can argue with facts? You just have to accept them and move on. Hahaha!!!
Why am I sexxy?
I was ready to murder someone today, but I still checked vsb.com beforehand… Knowing your priorities, that’s madd sexxy.
I am unapologetic about my love for Beck and Feist… I’m so sexxy, I create a following!!
My “eff you” game is off the chart… right now, it’s in overdrive. do I hear it? Yes! Sexxyyy
Moreover, I put the xy in sexxy by my out-of-this-world awesome xylophone playing except I call if a balafon…
If (you == !DontAgreeWithThisList)
{
you.HaveBeenHit = BySulaAwesomeness(you);
}
Else
{
you.OnClick = SexxyDeez();
}
I am out!
@Ms. Sula,
“Else
{
you.OnClick = SexxyDeez();
}
I am out!”
I’m so seccsee I’m not afraid to admit that some ish just goes over my head. You totally lost me on that last part. YOU’RE so sexxy it’s confusing. Git it, Ms. Sula! I think?
@Voiceofreason,
Confusing sexxyness is the new Black…. The Spring 09 runway shows were littered with it.
@Ms. Sula,
I dont even know what that meant but you sexxy just from my perplexed state
@Luvvie,
That’s that perplexed sexxyness.
@Ms. Sula, you so sexxy you make code look cool.
@8th Wonder,
You’re so sexxy you know that code can look cool…. errr, sometimes.
@Ms. Sula,
If, then, else statements are definitely sexxy.
@shhwhisper,
Yeah I do believe so… as I also try to convince myself every morning, that my job is glamorous…. if anything, it’s sexxy!
@Ms. Sula, you’re so sexxy I’m confused by the sexxilosity of it.
@N.I.A. isasexxymytha….,
Like I said upthread, confused sexxilosity is to 2009 what swagger was to 2008.
@Ms. Sula,
ooohhh.. don’t make me jump into a code war sexxy sula
@blackberry molasses,
BBmo… Anytime dahling, anytime. *palin wink*
@Ms. Sula, I’m soooo sexxy and equally elated that I understood this!
I know I don’t know you but here’s an e-hug for making the computer programmer in me tingle with sexxiness and pride!
@Ro,
Thanks for the e-hug. This sexxy (read overworked and tired) lady (read me) needed to blow off some steam.
*seXXy computer nerds UNITE!*
long time lurker finna post a lil…cuz mah swag is on full tilt…lol
got the swag of a suicide bomber
off the chain and ready to change the game like obama
my sexxy is non stop, no comma
other cats are like out of work actors……..
they don’t want no drama! lol..
sike …..I’m sexxy cuz I can spell it.
@BmoreCreative,
Dorian G, is that you??
Oh and Welcome. I am starting to charge for the VSB tour I give. Drop some pesos in the tip jar and we can commence. I gots people (read: 8th Wonder) to feed in the corner.
@Luvvie,
nah luvvie, fellow naija joining the rukus…lol
@BmoreCreative,
Like I said, Dorian G, is that you?? lol He is also Naija
But umm… you aint gon tip me so I can start ur tour?? Cheap Africans!
Dorian G. loves Dorian G. too much to change his name from Dorian G. for any reason.
I miss my e-boo.
@Luvvie,
I was told there’d be glitter and gold stars plus a Jim Jones effigy..?
*checking VSB visitor guide book with tip money in hand*
@BmoreCreative,
Read it right: Jim Jones effigy to be burned immediately.
We don’t want non-owners of visitor guide to get confused now!
@Ms. Sula,
Who soaked the skinny jeans in lighter fluid we want this one to last now. @ least long enough to warm my hands.
@BmoreCreative,
The glitter and starts and diva dust will be along shortly. But since you got your tip, lets start this here tour.
You will see the Prayer Cubicle to your left. Deaconness PBG is spraying it with holy water b/c the amount of emails she had to send to the Sweet Alabaster 5 lb 7 oz Brown Baby Jesus has been ridiculous this past coupla days She is exorcising the computer b/c it quit her.
To the right is the SAT DOWN Corner. Gem of the Ocean is currently decorating it. She is in there often so she wants so make is seem homely.
And finally is my home. The Corner. Your tip will help go to feed the dwellers, who are apparently staging a rice mutiny.
Please put ur tip in the IG basket. Enjoy your stay.
@Luvvie,
Thanks…and shit ® The Champ
@BmoreCreative,
Sorry I’m late. I had some technical difficulties @ work [read: infants actin' an azz in double time].
Here’s your ****glitter****! Welcome to VSB! If you ever need prayer, see me in the Prayer Cubicle and I will send BrownBabyJesus an email for you.
@PBG,
…
@BmoreCreative,
Welcome!!!!
**Diva Dust ™**
De-lurking and joining in the ruckus is quite sexxy…
Our other sparkle sista, SG is on a deadline, so gold stars may be a little late in coming, but they’ll get here.
P.S. Don’t get sent to the Corner. Luvvie will try to lure you there with jollof rice and fried plaintain and promises of unabashed IG. Don’t fall for it.
(He he, Luvvie, i luvs you, and therefore gots to screw with you)
@BmoreCreative, welcome! *gold stars*
here is some empirical evidence for my sexxilosity (sexxy + fabulosity)
~i say “when in rome” just becuz and out of proper context. in fact, any Ron Burgundy reference i make makes me SEXXY SAN DIEGO (shout out to the hometown, love ya 6-1-9, can’t wait to grace you with my presence on friday).
~wearing matching, clean, ironed clothes to work. now this may not impress any of the VSBs/VSSs out there, but in the science world, this makes me UBER-sexxy. how is it possible for a lab scientist to actual consider their wardrobe to NOT look homeless like all the other scientists who use their degrees to keep them warm?? simple: sexxiness!!
~as mentioned above, i like to remind my parents how awesome i am and how lucky they are they got it right with ME (5th times a charm). i was their gift to the world and therefore all ppls should be happy for my existence. as a bit of background, my father believes he encompasses all things “aesthetically pleasing”. as a genetic/phenotypic extension of him, not only do i aesthetically tantalize all 5 senses, i am (most importantly) SEXXY. so, VSB, you’re welcome to have me (take that to mean whatever you like *palin wink*)
~while i am devilishly delightful on the eyes and many men want to “be on me” (c) Ronny B, i appeal to many [heterosexual] women. chicks want to rock with the Gemster and learn how to be truly outrageous. all cattiness is tamed when this gemmy feline is in the room. how does she do it?? “must be the sexxy ” (shout out to D. Sanders!)
~lastly, my e-twin is a straight THUG, gunshot wounds to the facial region and all. if i didn’t possess the above qualities, mere siamese connection with my e-twin makes me sexxy.
Gem, you are indeed truly outrageous and so sexxy.
In regards to your e-twin, I’ll only say this once:
Those ain’t gunshot wounds.
all this hateration exuded from you, is attenuating your sexxy just a tad, boo boo.
attenuate deez!
@Gem of the Ocean,
I heart you SO MUCH for this. Especially, for your Anchorman reference. “When in Rome…”
And umm… did your parents tell you to SAT DOWN when you told them that you make them look good?
lmao @ “did your parents tell you to SAT DOWN when you told them that you make them look good?”
well…my mom just laughs and says “ohhhh [gemmy]” with a twinkle in her eye (cuz she know i’m right!!!). my dad’s response is usually “n*gga please. have a seat and rethink that one” (which is pretty close to go SAT the hell DOWN somewherez).
so i guess the answer is yes?? lol
@Gem of the Ocean,
“as mentioned above, i like to remind my parents how awesome i am and how lucky they are they got it right with ME (5th times a charm).”
Awwwwww, you’re a golden child too! My mom knew she got it right the first time which is why I’m her only child. My dad is an overachiever and insisted upon making two more attempts at recreating perfection. LOL!
lol i love it!!
@Gem of the Ocean is Quintessential
i’d have to agree, wholeheartedly. thank you, kind madam.
@Gem of the Ocean,
You are so sexxy, you can Just do it.
you are The Real Thing.
you are the Ultimate Sexxy Machine.
you can have it your way.
you are Mm, Mm, Good
Allathat…
because you deserve your sexxyness.
*humbly bowing head*
you’re right, i do deserve it. thank you for noticing, oh sexxy-coding one.
@Gem of the Ocean,
I said it before and I’ll say it again…
GEM.IS.SEXXY
coming from you BBMo, it must be truth and therefore shaming the devil.
My own sexxy comes from an awareness of others’ sexxyness. I like to downplay faults and compliment the sexxy. (I know your hands aren’t ashy from neglect, you just waiting for someone to rub lotion on em.) I make you feel sexxy, you love feeling sexxy, and now I’m etched in your brain as sexxy by association.
By the way, did I mention how sexxy you all are today, with your sexxy selves?
@shhwhisper,
LMAO!!!! You’re better than me. Cause when I see folks with ashy hands I ask them if they just wrapped up a shift at the Krispy Kreme factory.
@Voiceofreason,
I don’t usually speak on ashy hands but it was a shout out to The Champ’s lil ummm handy situation.
@shhwhisper,
this is hot, in an ironic sort of way..sexxy by deflective association.
I like to downplay faults and compliment the sexxy. (I know your hands aren’t ashy from neglect, you just waiting for someone to rub lotion on em.)
i can dig it. some ppl thank they sexxy but really just need a sexxy touch, and why not be the one to give it to ‘em??
By the way, did I mention how sexxy you all are today, with your sexxy selves?
no you didn’t, but thank you for mentioning. this boosts your sexxy potential a notch.
@shhwhisper,
passing sexxy to others is very sexxy of you
You know what ain’t sexxy?? The fact that there may or may not be a tiny piece of wood stuck in my foot right now. I’m limping around like a crackhead that ran out of arm space and had to find veins elsewhere.
*Shakes lilliputian fists at the wood splinter that punked me*
*blink*
@Luvvie,
If my feet fall off, I will still kick it (eff what you said 8th Wonder)
If my arms fall off, I will still hang out
If I aint got a booty,, I can still be *ssed out
If I was toothless, I can still grin
whatev. Even Stevie can see that you wouldn’t be kickin’ shyt.
@Luvvie,
Your afro and jokes are dry and you still can be slick…. thats sexxy…
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Your arms are short yet you still reach far. Stretch Armstrong you aint
@Luvvie, CLOWNS the whole lot of you are funnier than a car load of CLOWNS!
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Clowns ain’t funny! A carload of clowns = Luvvie at A & R. Dead of Scary@me-ness.
At my repass, I demand that people rock suits from Target so I could roast yall form behind that veil, LAWD!
@Luvvie,
And all the girls must wear viscose tubetops with glittery Santa belts and chanclattas.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
BWAHAHAHA. If people wear chanclattas, then they must wear lace ankle socks too. They gon be CASKET (closed) shhhaaappp!
But I will haunt anyone who is sharper than me. I will be FIERCE in my polyurethane rainbow special w/ a loud pastel church hat cocked exactly 46 degrees NW. And as always, I demand yall act a fool and get kicked out.
“BWAHAHAHA. If people wear chanclattas, then they must wear lace ankle socks too. They gon be CASKET (closed) shhhaaappp!”
HOLY FASHION MISTAKE, BATMAN!
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
ROTFLMBAO @ “chanclattas”!!
*makes a bee-line for the Prayer Cubicle*
@Luvvie,
why do you want a bunch of sweaty (cuz you know that fabric don’t breathe), improperly dressed, temptations dopplegangers at your wake, woman? you know you need to pick the proper funeral cloth that everyone will wear. I like the black and white laces personally.
I’m sexxy cuz I understand how I am and We are sexxy. I know my I am is quite sexxy but not sexxier than our we are. & even when I’m being sexxie by myself I know part of our, we are cecsay is in my I am cecksay.
I know real cekksay when I see it and give a pimp glitter sprinkle @ it. (btw panama the ‘fook em up against a wall’ comment. I didn’t even get to read the second time you wrote it I instantly had a massive corronary. Grabbed the Christmas lights from around my cube and had to shock my self back to life. Only to need to do it again, when I read the second phrase. smh n cmf (checkin my fresh)
I’m seccie cuz I like the word swag. Which is mostly cuz it is an ess word. I love the letter S and the number 19 so there. An ess word that means cool or even the accronym; Stuff We All Get.
I’m chexy cuz I know my limits.
…
@WuDaMan,
Ooooh pimp glitter sprinkles, i love it, i want some.
@shhwhisper,
lil pimp much? lol. quiet not too loud here. Now don’t just use it any where.
@WuDaMan,
That right here –> smh n cmf (checkin my fresh) <– is the epitome of sexxyness.
Go get’ em!
@Ms. Sula,
I’m tryinta told em like salt n peppa ‘get up on this’
@WuDaMan, “but not sexxier than our we are. & even when I’m being sexxie by myself I know part of our, we are cecsay is in my I am cecksay.”
that right there is why I <3 you
@WuDaMan,
“Grabbed the Christmas lights from around my cube and had to shock my self back to life.”
I seriously laughed out loud @ that right there.
For me:
Thou shalt be sexxy without trying, knowing it, or breaking a sweat.
@Tyler,
What ever & that last part. I sweat sexxy
I am sexxy because I am ugly. I am convinced deep down inside dudes love uuuuugly chicks.
@Young and Flashy,
You might be on to something. Unfortunate-looking women are never alone.
@Voiceofreason,
Lol. I think men are bold with women they feel aren’t on their “level”. Ugly women never hurt for short term company.
How inteteresting. A lick ur own a$$-a-thon lol… just joking…
I think one of the sexxiest thing about me is my maturity. I’ve been through some things… and i’m still here, standing, strong, smiling, and genuinely happy. I’m on some grown woman ish and that is sexxy. I love god and that is sexxy. I love life… and try to live it to the fullest… that is sexxy… i’ll take anyone with me who wants to come
P: I’ll give you sexxy. You are the originator of that. In fact, I think the etymology names you specifically by your government name. But uh, I’ve have sexxxy on lock since the early 80′s. the extra ‘X’ stands for X-tra. Hee-hee…
I’ll tell ya’ll another sexxy thang about me… I’ll be making Sangria from scratch tonight to serve at dinner… how sexxy is THAT?! (maybe not sexxy to you but i’m excited
)
@pgh muse, Sangria makes me sexxy without the xy
@Intellectual Hedonist,
lol! u r silly. But i can relate. There’s a method to this madness
@pgh muse, yeah when I drink Sangria it goes straight to one direction
Thou must take care of thou ish!
There ain’t nothin sexxy about an irresponsible mutha luva!
You don’t even get “1 x” for that!
does anyone know someone interested in joining a weight loss blog and reading one?
Thou must take care of thou ish!
There ain’t nothin sexxy about an irresponsible mutha luva!
You don’t even get “1 x” for that!
Panama did you see Madagascar II or something?! I still crack up @ the scene where the hippos meet for the first time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkg-ZZMpnjI
Funny stuff.
Officiating ongoing Rock-Em/Sock-Em robot matches between my two sons while reading and responding to this topic further validates my sexxy…
…well, maybe it doesn’t validate my sexxy, but it was cool.
being a dad is cool.
maybe not sexxy, but definitely cool.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, this is the cutest thing ever written.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
seeing a man engage with his children is very sexy and sexxy. your wife will jump on ya
Evidence for my sexxy? I was the one who threw the shoe at Bush! Ok, maybe not, but how sexxy was that guy?
Evidence for my sexxy? I was the one who threw the shoe at Bush! Ok, maybe not, but how sexxy was that guy?