Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Sun, Moon, Stars, Quasars and Sh*t

This is skydiving apparel. This is also something I could see Kanye wearing because he's trying to expand his horizons thru fashion. Help us.

This is skydiving apparel. This is also something I could see Kanye wearing because he’s trying to expand his horizons thru fashion. Help us.

I’m going to share a little about myself here. Sharing is caring has long been one of my mantras. I believe in community service of all types. Sharing is one of them. You may not have to take your clothes off to have a good time, but if you don’t put a little love in your heart, well, then you’re no better than an animal.

I just quoted somebody. That’s a bit more than a little but then not quite a few. Back to the lecture at hand.

I’ve often felt that life was very limiting. Not to be all doomsday or anything, but at some point during the course of my short 34 years on this planet I just felt…limited. I couldn’t fly or hug a unicorn or catch that damn pot of gold. While people tell you that if you work hard and are smart and study and sh*t that you can do anything you want to, it’s not actually true. Like, I stay reaching for the stars. Not proverbially either. I actually reach for them because, well, I get bored a lot. I’m like the guy in that one commercial who reached the end of the Internet. That sh*t f*cked me up because I feel that way a lot.

Fret not, I’m not about to off myself or do anything too crazy. All of my friends know that the one thing that need not happen in my life is boredom. Bad things happen when I get bored. I haven’t burned down any homes but I’ve gotten really closed to being profiled in a few national publications for bad decisions I made out of pure boredom. It’s like my kryptonite. Boredom drives my quest and thirst for the unknown. I didn’t read Encyclopedia’s when I was a kid because I wanted to know what was in them, I read them because I read everything else. To some degree, my child is a saving grace for me and my mind because I get to witness rebirth and new fun sh*t through the eyes of somebody who has no idea that one day, she may get to the end of the Internet.

Point is, I just feel like Earth and all its splendor comes with certain restrictions. I have seen lots and there are lots of things I haven’t but I’m still like…f*ck what else is there? Like the Pyramids are cool, my nword, but can somebody show me the tetrahedron that was man-made somewhere? And I’m not rich at all. I don’t even have the money to TRULY test the limits of life. So imagine if I was rich…

…I’d be somebody like Rihanna. Y’all remember when that crazy motherf*cker got a tattoo CHISELED onto her skin? Yeah. Of course you do. Here’s the thing. I get it. I completely understood. I can’t imagine what its like to be young, rich, and LITERALLY have the entire world as your oyster. It’s why rich people do crazy stuff like get themselves frozen. They’re bored and testing the limits of humanity because, well, they’ve kind of done this human sh*t. This only handicaps true creatives though. Some folks are rich and are just happy to be that way and are content within the confines of whatever world they’ve created. They’re goal-oriented creative. It’s like Big Boi vs Andre 3000.

Andre 3000 is clearly a creative individual who has no effin’ idea what to do with his life. At least he didn’t for a while. That’s why it made perfect sense to me that he was showing up to concerts in turbins and goggles and diapers with really furry Uggs. My man was just trying to explore his mind in every way possible. He was trying and his music started to reflect it. It’s why you get The Love Below. My man was outchea trying to just do…something else.

Clearly this is an issue that afflicts tons of people across the world. And especially some ‘flicted people.

Lil Wayne seems to have lost his ever loving mind but really, he just needs a new challenge. When you’ve literally achieved everything you can, you start making rock albums and singing too much and only rap about p*ssy because, well, what the hell else do you do when you spend 90 percent of your day fried out of your gourd because you’re trying to transcend life.

I can’t speak for any of these people. I have no clue if they feel that way. But it sure seems like it. And I feel that stuff. It’s like working in Word and they only give you limited fonts but you need new fonts because what you have doesn’t allow you to fully express yourself. Some people see what’s in front of them and feel like they have all that they need. They express themselves and make great product, whatever it may be, via the resources in front of them. Others see whats in front of them and realize that if those things exist, the possibility for more also exists. So they seek those things out. I’m one of those other people. The rush of the experience requires you to throw caution to the wind.

Funny enough, I’m also very much an “it is what it is” person about certain things. I recognize “checkmate” very quickly into the game. So while I’m not rich and I’m often bored I’ll continue to just f*cking rock like I do. But I’ll spend a lot of nights trying to figure out if I get on my roof, and I try to reach for a star, will I actually be able to reach one if I try hard enough? And if I fall and hit the ground, will I really die? Yeah, that’s the problem with being one of these people…death doesn’t really scare you. The not knowing makes it enticing enough to wonder what’s really going on afterwards.

Mind you, I realize this is all mental. And I can always watch vh1 to dumb it down. Shots fired. But this is why so many artists spend so much time talking about space, lasers, bars, quasars and sh*t.

Luckily, I ain’t a crazy motherf*cker and I’ve got a child. So I’ll just chill on my porch, stare at the sky, and wonder if Rihanna grabbed one yet.

A star…not Young Chris’s balls.

I wonder what Kanye is up to.


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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • nillalatte

    DANG… you and Champ been smoking from the same hookah, huh?

    Actually this post is SO timely for me PJ. I mean, you have just written every mudderfudder thought I have been having lately. I’ve been REALLY restless lately. I get this way occasionally and wild arse ideas start just flying around my head. I once verbalized these wild and crazy ideas from giving everything away and moving to a beach to moving way the fcuk back to TN on a weekends notice.

    I was actually going to write an ‘off-topic’ post, but then you WROTE about the way I have been feeling. Though I am extremely busy until like May next year, I’m still finding something missing in my life. There’s an emptiness that I’m looking to fill, but I can’t figure out what it is at the moment.

    But, so anyway, I was cleaning out my garage (I’m moving again) and found a bookmark. It says: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” Take from that what you will.

  • Yoles

    i get it…. i get bored easy too… thank god that i am soooooo easily entertained tho… mine isn’t a boredom of whats left to do see or experience its what the hayle am i supposed to do with my life!?!?!?!

    help people -check
    get educated — check
    be selfish – check
    be selfless — check
    travel — check
    run away & get married — check
    stay & have big wedding — check
    drugs — check
    dangerous entertainment — check
    make friends — check
    make new friends — check
    jump off a yacht into the middle of the ocean — check
    base jump — uncheck i need to lose weight
    have a satisfying career — check
    change careers — check
    change careers AGAIN — check
    write a book — check
    write music — check
    direct amateur adult erotic cinema — check
    have tasteful nudes on a pay website — check

    the list goes on and on

    what am i supposed to be doing???

  • SuperStrings

    This sounds like my daughter. She’s like the greatest chess player in the world for 15 minutes, then she just plain loses all interest. My son is the opposite. He’ll play one game for two hours. He has the focus and persistence, and my daughter has the wit and spontaneity.

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