***flashback a few years ago as the champ is shooting the sh*t afterschool with one of his favorite students, a subtly witty bodie broadus doppleganger who’d somehow always find a way to convince me to accept his late essays.***
bodie: “so we good mr. champ? i still get full credit, right?”
the champ, after shaking his head in pseudo disappointment and feigning exasperation: “aiight, man. whatever. just don’t let it happen again”
bodie: “good looks. you’s an aiight dude…for a teacher at least. no wonder all the lunchladies dig you¹. anyway though, whats crackin this weekend, mr. champ? you going clubbin?? haha, i can’t picture you at no club. they probably wouldn’t even let you in unless you loosened up those jeans you be rockin. i didnt know they even made low rise jeans for dudes”
mr. champ, trying his hardest not to laugh: “oh, you got jokes², huh? hmmm, i wonder how funny its gonna be when i take 20 percent off your project on gp?”
bodie: “whatever, mr. champ. you can’t game me. seriously though, i know you got some rican honies or something lined up, right?
mr. champ: “you ask too many questions, man. don’t you have a job or somewhere you need to be right now?”
bodie: “man, i dont need to be there until i get there”
mr. champ “i guess. anyway though, whats up with you? no little girlfriends or nothing to take to the food court at the mall or something this weekend?
bodie: “nah, mr champ, these high school chicks be trippin”
mr. champ: “what do you mean?”
bodie: “you know how it be. chicks be wanting ballers nowadays. i mean, i aint no simon³ or nothing. i does me, nahmean? but still, i aint all thugged out though. that just aint me”
mr. champ: “seriously, bodie, don’t worry about it. watch, in a few years most of those same girls will have grown out of that stage”
bodie: “i see what you’re saying, mr. champ, but i hear all oldheads spittin that same nonsense about “a few years from now“. oh…my bad. i didnt mean to call you an oldhead. you aint no oldhead. you just….i dont know, seasonsed or something.”
mr. champ: “seasoned? you’re silly, man. anyway though, trust me. that fast life gets old real quick.”
bodie: “so basically, ya’ll are trying to convince me to settle for scraps?”
mr. champ: “huh?”
bodie: “you and everyone else keeps gaming me, saying to wait a few years. if you break it down, though, ya’ll are trying to convince me to wait until after they’ve been, excuse my french, ran through like the east busway. straight scraps. how hot is that?“
luckily, bodie glanced at his watch while asking this question, and, realizing he’d be late for work, gave me dap and bounced. i say “luckily” because i didnt have an answer for him then, which makes me feel almost as bad as the fact that its been six years since this convo…and i’m still stumped.
sh*t, noone wants to settle for sloppy seconds, yet the concept we (the “oldheads”) were trying to “game him” with, the “they’ll grow out of that stage” bullsh*t schtick, is indirectly trying to convince him to wait his turn in line for sloppy eighths!
straight scraps. damn, vsb…how hot IS that?
¹if you saw the lunchladies at this school, you’d understand how much of a backhanded compliment this was. the “cutest” one looked like gary payton in bad drag…but white.
²as you can see, being an english teacher doesn’t mean that you have to speak perfect english. this, btw, is a statement that only a terrible english teacher would make
³”simon” was his word for “lame” and i have absolutely no idea why. i loved bodie.
—the champ
this is not helping me sleep. i am dying over here. i cackled through this whole post.
i can’t fully develop an answer at this point though. back in the morn if i can escape from the data hell that i am in at work.
@SouthernGirl,
Is “I’ll be back in the morning” the new “first”?
@Monk,
lol. no. i’m not in the ‘first’ or any variation of ‘first’ crew.
Honestly, I don’t think it takes “time” to grow out of childish dating manners as much as it takes “experience” to do so. You can have a 29 year old making 21 yr old dating mistakes because he’s only had 1 girlfriend. Hopefully someone with experience with chicks will knwo how to handle himself better by the time he is 29. In this case, perhaps a “sloppy 8th” is better than a really effed up “cleaner 2nd.”
@Liz,
Very valid point…we all are shaped by our experiences, hopefully we’ve learned from the negative ones…and c’mon now, it’s not as though everyone is walking around with their past written out as a memoir on their sleeve…does someone you meet at 21 or 29 need to know what you were doing 5 or 10 years earlier???? Does that define who you are, or let them judge you for who use to mighta been?
@Maria, I don’t think your sig other needs to knwo what you were doing 5 or 10 yrs prior. I just simply don’t think age or time completely defines maturity when it comes to dating. A 21 yo and a 29 yo can have the same maturity level when it comes to dating, and this is probably most influenced by their level and type of dating experience.
@Maria,
does someone you meet at 21 or 29 need to know what you were doing 5 or 10 years earlier???
so your relationship past is irrelevant?
@The Champ,
Of course there is a level of relevency–but my point is, at age 30 I am not defined by experiences that happened at 18. I am obviously impacted/influenced/changed/affected by past encounters/experiences, but do I consider myself a sloppy second? C’mon now…
I mean, as the point has been made by others, maturity is what helps to define a person…I just think its ridiculiously restrictive way to view, dismiss and judge someone, at least in the context that young-still-had-a-lot-to-learn Bodie was thinking…
@maria,
I just think its ridiculously restrictive way to view, dismiss and judge someone
i see what you’re saying, but having this mindset releases a person of any current accountability. you’re right, maturity does help to define someone…and your past does too
i agree. but truth be told, teenagers should do teenage stuff and act/date in an age-appropriate fashion. as youth get older and become “grown” their dating attitudes and behaviors should mature with both age and experience.
@Gem of the Ocean, I totally agree.
@Liz, Very good point!!!! It applies to both men and women. As we grow up, we learn from heart breaks and such.
@Liz,
Honestly, I don’t think it takes “time” to grow out of childish dating manners as much as it takes “experience” to do so
i agree in theory and sh*t, but i dont know if experience automatically equates to knowledge or wisdom. you could even argue that the ones who have had the most relationship “experiences” are on the dunce side of the scale. i mean, if they’re so knowledgeable, why does their sh*t keep failing, lol?
@The Champ, I don’t know…I don’t think th epoint of dating when ur y oungshould be “im gonna get this stuff right the first time.” It will always fail, cuz ur young and don’t know what you’re doing. if you go into it with the idea, “i like this person a lot, but let’s be real–we’re 19 (or 21 or 22) and this won’t last for forever” then the pressure is off.
@Liz,
i see what you’re saying. my point is that i think “experience” in regards to relationships is overrated.
@The Champ,
“Experience” can be drawn from one long term 10 year relationship. Experience doesn’t have to do with the number of relationships you’ve had, but rather the wisdom you’ve been able to accumulate from said relationship(s).
@Ms. Sula,
Very true, I put in 6 years with my very first boyfriend and learned a ton just off the strength of how much we both changed in that time. It was like dealing with 100 different combinations of personalities.
Conversely, If someone had a buncha relationships that never went past 6 months, I’d say they had no real relationship experience
Hmmm, interesting point….and what a terrible way to view the scenario. I mean, it’s not like anyone was trying to promote “growing out of that stage” as “waiting on a sloppy second.” So does that mean that no one is good enough unless they are a virgin…at everything?
I mean, what was being inferred was that these females were having a train pulled on them or something just as buck…I aint trying to be all naive but c’mon now, we don’t have to presume that all females are giving it up to each and every person they have entering their life, especially at the High School level…and then what are females at a college level considered? All worn out, haggard & Busted?
–And why has my job started filtering VSB? Those scum bags. Man you don’t even know how much I appreciate this site…I work a graveyard shift…so old entries def help me laugh away the drabness called j.o.b. *throwin angry fists in direction of management office*
@Maria, where are from? LOL “train and something just as book” sounds like slang from my neck of the woods..m-town…..
@shay_d_lady, Chicago originally…but now living in dc
good points
@Maria, “I aint trying to be all naive but c’mon now, we don’t have to presume that all females are giving it up to each and every person they have entering their life, especially at the High School level…”
True. I was a virgin throughout high school and so was my lil crew.
@Nicki Sunshine, ya crew was wack ….
@BROOKLYN’S OWN… Peyso, Hi hater (I hate that word too. ) LOL
@Maria,
“I mean, what was being inferred was that these females were having a train pulled on them or something just as buck…I aint trying to be all naive but c’mon now, we don’t have to presume that all females are giving it up to each and every person they have entering their life, especially at the High School level”
high school aged kids typically have limited world views, so his sentiment isn’t surprising. my point is that the latent message beneath the cliched “wait” advice is one of “settling”, and he was astute enough to pick up on it
@The Champ,
“waiting” and “settling” are in no way related and one of the same in his context…he wasn’t pressed to scoop up the other females that didn’t fall into that “chicks be wanting ballers nowadays” mentality…so he was making a choice to “wait” and any money the female he did end up scooping up was/or had been someone else’s “settle”
@maria,
“waiting” and “settling” are in no way related and one of the same in his context
yea they are. in mean, in this context they’re practically interchangeable
@Maria,
*throwin angry fists in direction of management office*
LOL@ you doing a “Boyz in the Hood”. That you Trey?
@Maria, –And why has my job started filtering VSB? Those scum bags. Man you don’t even know how much I appreciate this site…I work a graveyard shift…so old entries def help me laugh away the drabness called j.o.b. *throwin angry fists in direction of management office*
how do you think i feel? i help run the doggone site and the man has seen fit to just shut me down. life as a shorty shouldn’t be so tough…
@Panama Jackson,
Potna, my job just banned this site yesterday. I was pissed…Luckly I’m work with computers and talked to a few folks to get around tha firewall. Ninjas tried to kill ya boy off. 4 what? This site isn’t even explicit or vulgar. Haters.
@Tx10inch,
*I work with computers
I type way too fast sometimes. I really can spell..realli lol
@Tx10inch,
that was a joke people. btw.
@Panama Jackson,
Ya’ll don’t know how much stuff I’m still going through overe here at conservative financial institution just to log on everyday…
I know one day I won’t be able to log on anymore, but until then…
@Panama Jackson, The firewall got me yesterday, but I’m good today. I think it was because yesterdays topic had s@# in the title.
Wow. So he saw it as waiting for sloppy seconds (eighths), but he never took into consideration that a LOT of girls his age were holding out for better dudes, instead of the dogs that kept approaching them – which means they’re not sloppy at all. He’s (was) looking for the “video hoe” type – just like all the dudes at his age, but never realizing that there were gorgeous girls, fit for a relationship, because they dressed conservatively.
Typical of men.
When choosing a female, they immediately want flash, ass and cash. (Not necessarily in that order) Cause let’s face it – they want their “boys” approval, right? *sighs* Do boys EVER grow into men? Just curious.
@RedBeanzNRice,
A lot of boys do grow into men.
…and speaking from what I’ve seen and remember, a lot of girls go for a variation of said theme in regards to dudes as well.
Being shallow is more matter of age; not gender.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Some do…some dont.
I have had my fare share of boys and I’m quite sick of it.
@RedBeanzNRice,
He’s (was) looking for the “video hoe” type – just like all the dudes at his age, but never realizing that there were gorgeous girls, fit for a relationship, because they dressed conservatively
lol…are you even reading the right entry?
@The Champ,
Yes Champ. It’s just that most HS boys want that type of girl – the popular “video hoe” looking chick at school. So yeah, they get “ran up in” a LOT, as he put it. Those are also the ones that want the “ballers”. I was merely stating that he was looking for the wrong kind of girl, which is why he wasn’t getting any play.
@RedBeanzNRice, Most boys want any girl who’s cute and cool. Conservative or not. There’s usually not many quality girls who go ignored, especially in that period of life.
We don’t care too much about extra stuff too much like the girls’ popularity (it can definitely be a plus if she’s fly AND popular, to be sure) and anything else – that’s how young girls think.
@Scipio Africanus,
“Most boys want any girl who’s cute and cool. Conservative or not.”
**nodding head**
for most guys, whether or not a girl is popular or not means nothing. in fact, guys usually give each other props for “finding” low key or unknown chicks.
“for most guys, whether or not a girl is popular or not means nothing. in fact, guys usually give each other props for “finding” low key or unknown chicks.”
So true.
@The Champ, sho’ ya right!
@The Champ,
“for most guys, whether or not a girl is popular or not means nothing. in fact, guys usually give each other props for “finding” low key or unknown chicks.”
Unfortunately, a lot of girls are clueless and don’t realize this. Goes for grown women, too.
@The Champ, in my experience during high school guys were not looking for the “unknown” or the “low-key chick” AT ALL. It may have nothing to do with popularity in their minds, but the girls who were most sought after in high school were the ones who got the most attention from everyone. Other girls wanted to be them and guys wanted to be with them. And on some level I expect this- high school is marked by shallow behavior, wants and needs. Our brains aren’t even fully developed at that age. The low key unknown chick got attention in college maybe, but not in high school. Again, this is my experience. And this is also makes me right
(lol)
Miss Patterson,
Your experiences sound closer to mine. In college dudes were more into the low-key chicks. But that may have been becuz no one knew their “histories” like they did the popular chicks. Even in HS you might “find” a chick that went to another school, that nobody knew.
But in HS, none of the cool guys were wifing “herb” chicks. Prom time there were all-girl limos with dateless cute girls who imagined just didnt get asked because they weren’t popular.
@The Champ,
for most guys, whether or not a girl is popular or not means nothing. in fact, guys usually give each other props for “finding” low key or unknown chicks.
say.word.
@The Champ,
Indeed…..+5 cool points for finding the bad undercover librarian chick that has an extensive West Coast Productions library in closet
@RedBeanzNRice,
I agree. He was probably looking at all the “hot” girls and not looking for the sweet wholesome lil girl, because at that age they are not looking for true love anyway. Hell, most men aren’t at 30 let alone 15-18.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Yes Champ. It’s just that most HS boys want that type of girl – the popular “video hoe” looking chick at school. So yeah, they get “ran up in” a LOT, as he put it. Those are also the ones that want the “ballers”. I was merely stating that he was looking for the wrong kind of girl, which is why he wasn’t getting any play
thing is, most schools (high school and college) basically work under the same dynamic.
lets say there’s 100 men and 100 women. what typically happens is that a small percentage of the men (lets say 10%) are able to horde 35% of the women. numbers wise, this comes out to 10 guys and 35 chicks. this leaves the 90 or so guys left with 65 women.
basically, the guys at the top of the totem pole are messing with so many chicks that it f*cks the numbers up for everyone else.
@The Champ,
It’s like basically anything else in life.
20% of your customers bring in 80% of the money…
20% of your products bring in 80% of your revenues…
Ok, I swear I had a point when I started writing this. Oh well, ’tis lunch time.
@Ms. Sula,
It’s like basically anything else in life.
20% of your customers bring in 80% of the money…
20% of your products bring in 80% of your revenues…
basically and sh*t
@RedBeanzNRice,
” LOT of girls his age were holding out for better dudes, instead of the dogs that kept approaching them – which means they’re not sloppy at all. ”
THANK YOU! A lot of the dudes in my high school thought I was “stuck up” cause I never dated anyone in my school. To make it worse they’d sometimes see older dudes pick me up in *gasp* cars afterschool (I went to HS in Brooklyn; even as a senior in HS that was kinda a big deal. Owwww!).
I’m sure they secretly thought I was snooty but was straight givin it up to all the older dudes but the truth was I stayed a virgin til the end of my senior year. Not just a technical virgin, a nobody had even seen me in my underwear virgin, much less touched me under my clothes. And I lost my V-card to my long-time boyfriend.
Just cause I was dealin with those lil nappy-headed punks with their no-manners-having selves does not mean the older dudes were smutting me out. Stank you very much!
@Me fail english?,
so wait…you had a long time bf AND “older dudes” (plural) picking you up from school? lol, sounds like a smut to me.
@The Champ,
Yup. I got with my first BF when I was 17. Before that I talked to/flirted with older guys from the neighborhood
@Me fail english?,
Your experience sounds eerily familiar… I didn’t like dudes my age AT ALL! Couldn’t find anything to tell them.
Re: footnote #2 – As an English teacher, it’s important to let kids know that you’re not completely removed from everyday life (and language) just b/c you happen to teach a certain subject. That’s likely what put Bodie @ ease when talking to you; it’s happened to me as well.
I understand his point…but I think it’s fair to assume that EVERYONE we will ever meet/date/love/f!ck has a backstory, and that story will likely include a host of people that have affected them in a way that assisted in the creation of the person you’ve come to know. We all have a past. We’re all products of our environment, relationships, family…there’s no getting around that, so, essentially, we’re always “getting the scraps” when meeting new people.
Hopefully, though, what’s leftover is a person wiser for the wear w/a coherent perspective based on past experience.
@Resident GRitS,
Indeed! Great points…
@Resident GRitS, Amen!
@Resident GRitS,
Re: footnote #2 – As an English teacher, it’s important to let kids know that you’re not completely removed from everyday life (and language) just b/c you happen to teach a certain subject.
i agree, lol. i’m still not disputing the terrible teacher part though. sh*t, there are essays from 2003 in my drawer that i still havent even looked at yet…forget about grades.
Thank you for solidifying my view that essays, much like 911, are a joke.
@8th Wonder,
*clapping” my little heart away at that too sharp observation…
@8th Wonder,
Good to see ya back with jabs, chick!!
*hugs*
@The Champ,
SMH. Sounds familiar.
Senior year it took my Senior English Seminar professor SEVEN MONTHS to turn in my grade! Shame on you Champ, shame on you!
@Dom,
shame deez
@The Champ,
See, I had a prof in undergrad like you, and I had to take her to the Dean just so I could get my grade…stupid heffa….
@Resident GRitS,
Yeah I C U. & I still can’t help but wonder. What do you do when that person is scarred? Hurt by those past interactions and the person that they used to be could have still been is now gone. I’m thinking the state of Kentucky has a good thing going when it comes to the Teen Aged Love.
@WuDaMan,
…is Kentucky a free state yet? I can’t speak for them.
We all have battle scars; it’s an inevitability. Bobby Womack said “if you get anything out of life/you’ve got to put up with the toils and strife.” We are who we are meant to be BECAUSE of our life experiences. I may not understand the reasons behind the things I’ve gone through, but I know that I couldn’t be the person I am w/o them…and I’m pretty damn terrific.
Everything happens for a reason.
@Resident GRitS,
Yeah a Budist principle is that into every life sorrow must exhist. But what do you do with that person who has sorrows beyond their understanding? People that embrace their sorrows as the way it is and should be and will be.
Bill Withers has a song or interlude in a concert or something where he addresses a woman who is middle aged and very hurt up by past experiences. He’s all on some ‘I’m sorry for the guys that hurt you before but I’m not them.’
People who have the train of thought that would tell them ‘if… then …’ because it’s Fate God The Universe.
I’m a lil lost w/ it but please if You think of a way to deal w/ these people to end the punch drunk gunshy syndrome please expound. Cuz me I’m of the ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure school.
**Cue the Lupe Fiasco intruder alert**
@WuDaMan,
…you have an odd way about u.
@Resident GRitS,
I concur
@Resident GRitS,
I am in complete agreeance with this post. Could not have said it better myself
LOL Simon is in reference to Simon from alvin and the chipmunks…he was the lame one…
on the scraps thing, why they gotta be scraps? the whole all the women like thugs is a cop out anyway. yeah some women like rough dudes but all the women dont.. ..but even if he was in the middle of the pack some middle of the pack chicks would kick it with him and it but as ReadBeanz point out earlier he probably was a middle of the road dude lookin with dime piece ambitionz and expectation.. .so yeah if you are coveting the chick that wants the d boy flash you gone have to wait for her to get tired of that but if you want the chick that valued him and what he did sounds like he needed to wait until HE could appreciate them………
@shay_d_lady, so even if he is a middle of the road dude that still means his is settling b/c he wants his dime piece
@shay_d_lady,
“the whole all the women like thugs is a cop out anyway”
i agree, but its hard to articulate that to a 17 year old without sounding condescending.
oh, and btw…
“Simon is in reference to Simon from alvin and the chipmunks…he was the lame one…”
…i’m at least 92 percent certain that this wasn’t his reference point, lol. good try though
@shay_d_lady, Not really.
During the teenage years there’s typically a severe mismatching as far as how girls and boys get together. Logic would tell you that the people stay in their lane – high-enders, middle of the roaders, and the mudd ducks. But my experiences tell me that middle of the road and high end girls usually focus on just the high end dudes. Middle of the road dudes often can’t even get much play from their fellow middle of the road girls until later – usually after college.
@Scipio Africanus,
But my experiences tell me that middle of the road and high end girls usually focus on just the high end dudes. Middle of the road dudes often can’t even get much play from their fellow middle of the road girls until later – usually after college.
yeah, i broke this down statistically upthread and sh*t.
@Scipio Africanus, I guess everyone’s experience is different..I was pretty popular in my highschool though Im an average looking chick and i dated the gamut..thug, intellectual, regular old dude…..the regular dudes that didnt get any play were either full of games or extra lame and boring..so aging patterns all that aside ALL girls are never ALL looking for the same dudes and its a cop out..instead of slowing down and checking yourself you place the blame on something else……I am wary of any person in life that blames “they” for their personal failure in any avenue…..
@shay_d_lady,
instead of slowing down and checking yourself you place the blame on something else
Amen! I think that’s the underlying truth that people seems to be missing… quite often.
Whats funny about English teachers is that I spend most of my Junior and Senior year in detention for correcting my Engrish (I swear that woman does not speak English) teacher. Shoot, she couldn’t pronounce “wolf” (it sounded like “woof”), and she constantly made up words.
SMH.
But yea…I don’t know if I agree with what your friend* is saying. Apparently, he’s chasing the wrong types of girls. I mean some of us (see: girls with a brain that use it), like the educated nerdy types. If you can’t have mind sex with me, you can’t get with me.
Ok, I now see why my dating streak has been failing at an epic rate. But I digress…
Tell lil man to keep his head up and don’t worry about those girls because if they’re gold diggin like that, whatever money he tries to flaunt, they’ll suck him dry and he’ll be resentful, which potentially may make him a bit pissy towards subsequent dates with decent people.
@chaoticdiva,
“Whats funny about English teachers is that I spend most of my Junior and Senior year in detention for correcting my Engrish (I swear that woman does not speak English) teacher.”
lol…so basically you were an assh*le in high school?
@chaoticdiva, how many high school girls wanted the young nerdy type? Everyday I read on this very blog about the guys women dated, and they all seem to be the young balling type and that the women have out grown them. And we all know that the women of VSB are the baddest jawns in the world…
@BROOKLYN’S OWN… Peyso,
My biggest crush in h.s. was on the editor of the school paper. That bamma wore (thick) glasses but was very, very cute to me. Then there’s the indian nerd who finally grew into his head in high school (we’d been friends from 7th grade and he was the one who broke it to me THE SUMMER AFTER 8th grade that all the boys in my class liked me. Late news breakin’, bamma!) He cheated on his g/f at the time with me, then I lost him to a girl who was certifiably a little slut. As in, affairs with the married track coach type sluticiousness. He’s still sorry about that ish to this day.
Point: Some of us have a very soft spot in our hearts for the black Clark Kent types….
@Lil’T,
Point: Some of us have a very soft spot in our hearts for the black Clark Kent types….
Yes ma’am! Very much so.
I vote for a t-shirt:
“I want my black Clark Kent”
@Ms. Sula, that’s so welcoming. 3′s like myself need all the good news we can find.
lol.
merry new year!
@Lil’T,
I totally agree. I remember back in high school this girl that guys never paid any attention to…REALLY smart girl, but REALLY nerdy and awkward, (I noticed she did have a phatty underneath that awkwardness, though) I always spoke to her and had small awkward conversations in class. I use to think to myself that if she got some contacts and dressed like an actual girl…she’d be cute. My friends used to rag on me for saying that. When we all graduated and you say stuff like, “see you in 10 years” I was telling dudes then to watch what she looks like at the 10 year reunion.
Well, at the 10 year reunion…you guessed it, she. was. a. DIME (in all terms of that word)! No one knew who she was initially and she came up to speak to me and catch up. Dudes was like, “Yo, who dat?…she with you?” I was like, “Nah…that’s Nerdy Melissa!” Everybody was like AWWWWW, HAYO NAW!!!
Man, I wish I could’ve bet money on my negrodomus foresight…I would’ve made enough to buy that Delorian from Back to the Future that I wanted when I was a kid!
@Lil’T,
“indian nerd who finally grew into his head in high school”
LMAO!!!
I’ve never been into the nerdy type but this ish was HIGH-larious.
@BROOKLYN’S OWN… Peyso,
Errr… a lot. I have always loved nerdy types. With the glasses and the whole shabang. Then again, smart was hot growing up so the smarter you were/seemed the better it was.
@BROOKLYN’S OWN… Peyso,
My first H.S. crush was a guy that took all AP classes and kept to himself. I was intrigued by how he wasn’t “thugged out”. He was actually one of the reasons I got heavy into Physics and Calculus.
But to say the least, I was always into the intellectual nerds, and was always annoyed by the wanna-be popular guys.
And for the record, the athletes that I dated were in the closet nerds.
sh*t, noone wants to settle for sloppy seconds, yet the concept we (the “oldheads”) were trying to “game him” with, the “they’ll grow out of that stage” bullsh*t schtick, is indirectly trying to convince him to wait his turn in line for sloppy eighths!
not to brain-geek up the joint, but adolescence is characterized by high impulsive behaviors and increased novelty- and sensation-seeking. MOST teens don’t want to adhere to this concept of “waiting” as if they’ll be missing out on something in the process. so its hard for adults to convince teens to hold out and display this idea of “delayed discounting of reward”.
that being said, i think suggesting he (or any youth for that matter) should wait on HS chicks to grow out of their “thug phase” does sound pacifying and it doesn’t change the reality of his situation (or at least how he sees it). i don’t propose to have a good solution, but the teens i work with want to feel in control of their situations and not be told to passively wait for others to “come around”. to them i say, if you don’t want sloppy 2nds but gotta be 1st to plant your seed in the garden, then get it in and deal with the BS it comes with. if it’s not that serious to you and you can do without, then focus on other things, do you, and go for it when the time and circumstances are right for you.
@Gem of the Ocean,
…you’re right, but it’s difficult to tell kids wait considering all the instant gratification going on in America; it’s capitalism’s inherent dysfunction.
that’s my point exactly.
@Gem of the Ocean,
No doubt. Most of these kids today are growing up reflecting the mindset of the adults in their lives who seem to have no semblance of “future-time-orientation”.
@Gem of the Ocean,
“but adolescence is characterized by high impulsive behaviors and increased novelty- and sensation-seeking. MOST teens don’t want to adhere to this concept of “waiting” as if they’ll be missing out on something in the process. so its hard for adults to convince teens to hold out and display this idea of “delayed discounting of reward”.
although they’re typically terrible at spades, this is why its good to have a neuroscientist or two on the payroll.
thankfully Ivy St and i don’t fall into the “typically terrible at spades” neuroscientist category. esp when we’ve whooped up on your squad.
@Gem of the Ocean,
stop it. you know no games with killa k on your squad even count. those are automatic exhibitions
@Gem of the Ocean, my e-twin is so smart.
If my math is correct that your student was in highschool six years ago, this means we are around the same age, early to mid twenties. I’m living proof that not all women my age are scraps. Shuuu. Some of us haven’t even been taken out of our display boxes yet. We are like collector’s items. Like a Ms. First Lady Barbie doll or something. We get left in our cases, because the price is too expensive and the shelf is too high. Oh well
@Blu,
**snaps with 2 hands**
that was some good imagery, I see the poet in you
@Blu,
“Some of us haven’t even been taken out of our display boxes yet. We are like collector’s items. Like a Ms. First Lady Barbie doll or something. We get left in our cases, because the price is too expensive and the shelf is too high.”
I like this!!!
@Blu, or ya was ugly ducklings who blossomed into beautiful geese
@Blu,
welcome and sh*t.
and ummm…
“We get left in our cases, because the price is too expensive and the shelf is too high. Oh well”
…we’re in a recession, which means that the first lady barbie dolls will be spending more and more nights stacked next to heathcliff
@The Champ, and the gargamel dolls.
@Panama Jackson,
Heathcliff and Gargamel? Yall are mad old school. Those ancient toys gets no shelf space… in these tough economic times (I try to say it thrice a day)
The little homey was funny and made a valid point no matter how silly it initially sounded…it’d be interesting to see where he’s at in life now.
No man *honestly* wants to deal w/ a rehabilitated hoodrat.
@Master Sergeant Vernon Waters,
and the converse is true too…no woman wants to deal with a man s.!.-u-t…
and from the context of the conversation, young dude seemed to have aproblem with these young ladies for being on some gold digging status…which he assumed meant she was giving up some goodies to get…BUT if these highschool chicks weren’t on some “ball-er” mission & he coulda had the goodies on these females than he wouldn’t have had any beef over being the one to “run thru them”?
I’m confused…b/c on some level this sounds like some hater since I aint participatin…
@Maria,
It wasn’t like he didn’t have some money. He was going to work… & what 17 year old man don’t think that secks is where a releationship is destined to go? Now lets be real if Bodie ain’t got enough $ to woo these young girls ambitions. The cat’s who do have the number of zeros, what they after? What does her young inexperienced mind have to offer him?
I think that these two don’t exactly understand how the male and female fit together and how they work together. It’s really a beautiful thing that is being hindered by the rapid change in their life.
@Master Sergeant Vernon Waters,
Testify
@Master Sergeant Vernon Waters,
it’d be interesting to see where he’s at in life now.
i keep in touch with a few of my older students, but i lost track of bodie. hopefully he started showing up to work on time
It really depends on what kind of girl Bodie was looking for…the ones he was interested in may have wanted thug life, but I can assure you there late bloomers or shy girls that he wasn’t sweatin’ who liked him just the way he was. Not to mention, aren’t we all “seconds”? Like Liz and few others mentioned it’s not about sexual experience that qualifies someone as a second but maturity. Champ, the little Bodies of the world also need to know that not every one of those honeys was putting out for thug love.
@miss patterson,
Its not the sex thats the issue. Its not even being considered to participate in the game is the issue. Everybody has been somebody’s jumpoff, freak, etc. knowing or unknowing. The thing is by the time these women check for dudes like Bodie it’s usually after life has beat the h3ll out of them.
@Humble_One, Exactly. Unfortunatelky, this reply will go ignored.
@Humble_One,
The reply will not go ignored as Scipio suggested, but the counter reply has been said over and over again.
By the time, those rehabilitated hoodrats come along, he does not have to be with them. He now has the choice of the shy/nice/conservative girls who have now grown into their beautiful women status.
So the waiting is not per se a waiting on the hoodrats but moreso a waiting on life to refine your tastes and give you some maturity to realize that hoodrats are not where it’s at.
Now, if it’s the RH (rehabilitated hoodrats) he still desires, then he can deal with sloppy seconds or like Gem mentionned go in at 17 and deal with the BS that comes along.
@Ms. Sula,
By the time, those rehabilitated hoodrats come along, he does not have to be with them. He now has the choice of the shy/nice/conservative girls who have now grown into their beautiful women status.
good reply. if this were a real debate i’d give you a point for that.
this isnt a real debate though, so all you can get is a waffle
@The Champ, don’t hold your breath Ms. Sula, I’m still waiting for my VSB omelette.
@The Champ,
When (and where) can I cash in my waffle coupon?
@The Champ,
LMAO!
@Humble_One,
You know another point being ignored in this thread, the fact that sometimes women who go from wanting ballers to regular dudes didn’t get “ran through” or “beat down by life”. They simply changed their minds.
Let’s take any romantic feelings out of this. Looking at my high school girlfriends (some of whom I’m still friends with) a lot of these chicks wouldn’t make it back into the circle of trust if I met them today. Not because I got “beat down” by all my pretty, vapid friends and had to come crawling back to the smart ones. I just grew up and started gravitating towards different people.
No shots at anyone in the thread, but some of the guys are sounding a little “Next on Jenny Jones: You thought I was a nerd, but look at me now!”-type bitter. Not a good look.
@Me fail english?,
No shots at anyone in the thread, but some of the guys are sounding a little “Next on Jenny Jones: You thought I was a nerd, but look at me now!”-type bitter.
lol…you can’t say “no shots at anyone in the thread” and then take a couple shots at people in the thread. thats not good thread etiquette and sh*t.
@The Champ,
Accidental Discharge?? (eww..heh heh)
I promise, Mr. Champ!
“No shots at anyone in the thread, but some of the guys are sounding a little “Next on Jenny Jones: You thought I was a nerd, but look at me now!”-type bitter. Not a good look.”
You ain’t neva lied!
@miss patterson,
Like Liz and few others mentioned it’s not about sexual experience that qualifies someone as a second but maturity.
lol…actually liz made this exact opposite point, but i see what you’re saying and sh*t ms. p
@The Champ, really? it was 2:30 in the morning when i wrote that, so I’m excused.
Maybe, in his backwards way of saying things, he was tired of being 2nd best to the females in his environment. Then again he could have fallen prey to the hip hop cultures view of fast women.
@Double J,
Then again he could have fallen prey to the hip hop cultures view of fast women.
expound and sh*t
@The Champ,
I believe its simple. Young minds of this day and age are extremely impressionable for some odd reason. This is the generation of watch and learn or the “monkey see monkey do”. The over glamorization of sex, money and cars that’s constantly fed to this young minds coupled with the lack of life lessons from nonexistent role models leads to the ignorance of today’s youth. They need to watch after the video when the rapper has to return all that “ice” and those cars. Although material things are great they shouldn’t be what defines you.
Take for example myself. I am blessed but I don’t have the want/need to be into the latest trends or fads. I do me because,consequently, that’s who I am everyday I wake up and look in the mirror. The people around me have two choices 1)accept me or 2) shoot the deuces.
Lil man was right. What I have learned is that the hot chics are the ones that aren’t popular or the ones that no one is paying attention to. All the thick girls in high school turn out to be Monique by their early-mid 20s. As old as I am I still feel a little insulted when a woman that didn’t want to have anything to do with me back in the day now wants to be with me. No dude with self-respect wants to be a rest haven. It will be too soon if I meet another ex-girlfriend of an athlete or drug-dealer. The problem is that by the time they want Bodie they have had a few kids, ran up in all type of ways, and been sh**ted on by every dude.
@Humble_One,
No dude with self-respect wants to be a rest haven. It will be too soon if I meet another ex-girlfriend of an athlete or drug-dealer. The problem is that by the time they want Bodie they have had a few kids, ran up in all type of ways, and been sh**ted on by every dude.
damn humble, lol. you need me to call 8th wonder down to give you a hug or something?
@The Champ,
LOL. I’m good. This topic hit close to home because I have experienced it first hand. I wish I had a penny for every “video girl” type or whatever that falls off and then wants the average guy(college guy, working stiff, regular hood dude) to take them serious. I would be a rich man. What’s even worse is that some of them think they are still hot.
@Humble_One,
See I see a lot of blaming the other side in this. Did you realize that there was probably girls drooling over you that you overlooked?
Such is life. If we got everything we wanted then it would be heaven (or he!! who knows).
So why didn’t you approach the girls that were not popular in high-school?
@Humble_One,
If these are the girls you’re chasing I’m sorry for ya. If you feel like you’re being looked over by the “popular” chicks, you’re probably looking over a good girl who wants you. They’re just as sick of you chasing the “beautiful ones” as you are of them chasing the ballers.
@Humble_One, LMFAO @ all the hot chicks were the ones that weren’t popular or no one was paying attention too.. that is the absolute truth!! Because a lot of the times you guys (generally speaking) thought they were lame because they actually went to class and were striving to get good grades. You shouldn’t feel insulted that the women who weren’t giving you any burn back in the day are trying to talk to you now.. feel empowered because they didn’t know what was there until it was already matured and too responsible for them… It happens, and its also vice versa for women.. don’t try to talk to me now when you didn’t even look my way back in the day… what you thought I was gonna stay a nerd all my life.. WRONG!!
Tell them to 2 step!
@Humble_One,
I understand your point. But the women that have had a few kids need love too. I’m not making excuses for women making silly mistakes by over looking the good men and selecting the bad ones. I’m just saying people live and learn and sh!t.
@mssmtaylor, I can’t clap to this. Is it the duty or obligation of dudes to give play to these women later in life? Why are they deserving of that type of attention/holleration from the guys they want to be with? If they are, who aren’t these guys deserving of it too?
@Scipio Africanus,
I actually agree with you.
@Scipio Africanus,
I’m not saying they are obligated. I am moreso talking about the college educated women with the bomb ass job that make some bad decisions in her past.
I guess I’m speaking for myself. where I typed women insert (mssmtaylor) hahaha
Since I’ve been in Bodie’s shoes before, I can totally relate to his theory and his question.
The constructive answer to give would be along the lines of focusing on himself and not putting too much stock in those shallow chicks.
The straight-no-chaser answer would be that’s life…suck it up.
@Monk,
The constructive answer to give would be along the lines of focusing on himself
if i had to do it again, this is probably what i’d say.
@The Champ & Monk
I, like Monk, was in Bodie’s shoes. My oldheads used to always say “focus on yourself and your books ’cause the girls ain’t going anywhere.”
Unfortunately, the one void I felt was in the ladies department. No matter how much play I got, I always want a better quality of woman because I deemed youself worthy of it.
Thus, I wasn’t trying to hear that “wait til later” mess. I wanted mine now.
…and to buttress someone’s earlier point…later on in life, the “hot” girls who previously paid me no attention began to give me play after the following life events:
1) getting accepted into a prestigious college
2) crossing into a greek organization
3) graduating college with a good a** job
I said all that to say that as a young man in this day and age, your hormones are ablaze and need to be expressed somehow, so waiting isn’t nearly as easy as it sounds…
@Cornell Westside,
I said all that to say that as a young man in this day and age, your hormones are ablaze and need to be expressed somehow, so waiting isn’t nearly as easy as it sounds
with this in mind, what would you have told him?
@The Champ,
I would tell him that women come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, and attitudes and not all of them want the Baller types. I’d tell him to also try to get to know the cute, quiet girls.
If he’s anything like I was at that time then telling him to omit chasing women from his teenage lifestyle is NOT an option.
From your description of him, he seems like he has some personality (since he can smooth talk you into accepting his late papers for full credit) and would be a nice change of pace from the introverted world of typical quiet girls.
…and of course tell him the basics, i.e. always be more respectful to women than they are to themselves and to start turning in his papers on time.
@Cornell Westside,
Finally a sensible answer!
Well done Cornell.
@Cornell Westside,
ONE TIME for the quiet girls!…changing lives since 1980.
Maybe it’s me…but it all comes down to peer pressure.
Props to Lil Bodie for knowin himself well enough to know what he is and what he ain’t…. No need to change up to be liked….be true to yourself.
Tell him to do his thing…..forget waiting for others to change.
@KingPine,
Maybe it’s me…but it all comes down to peer pressure.
expound. i’m not clear about how peer pressure is relevant here
@The Champ,
sounds like he’s making his decision based on what he’s seeing his friends do….
the crux of adolescence is learning how to make up your own mind…and not just follow the herd….
hell maybe i’m just readin it all wrong….
@KingPine,
“the crux of adolescence is learning how to make up your own mind…and not just follow the herd….”
Ideally, yes. This is the penultimate goal. And if they have a circle of adults and good postitive friends around them who reinforce a strong sense of self, then a teen will be able to do that.
But most teenagers are seeking that sense of belonging. They want to belong to a group… jocks, popular kids, heck, even being a part of the nerdy crew.
In my past experience RARELY have I seen the lone soldier truly marching to the beat of their own drum down the halls of a high school, completely secure in their choices regardless of what the ‘herd’ thinks.
@blackberry molasses,
“But most teenagers are seeking that sense of belonging. They want to belong to a group… jocks, popular kids, heck, even being a part of the nerdy crew.”
I moved so many times there was never time to worry about being part of a group….you either did what you wanted to do or nothing at all…
I can see your point though
@KingPine,
I moved around quite a bit too so I see where you are coming from. I never had time to settle and become part of a group because as soon as I did, we were off and running again.
But that doesn’t mean that part of me didn’t want it. However, to survive I had to adapt to being a ‘loner’
**smh at my globetrotting parents**
@KingPine,
the crux of adolescence is learning how to make up your own mind…and not just follow the herd….
Word.Life.
Once that threshold has been passed, parents can rest assured.
My dad was very clever about his. He realized early on that reverse psychology worked wonders on me. So he kept saying things like he knew I would break down under peer pressure…etc…etc. This irritated me to no end because teenage me liked to think she was running sh!t… so even in situations that could have made me fall under pressure, I didn’t want to make my dad’s predictions come true so I did not.
That man ….*smh* but it worked though.
@Ms. Sula,
lol i love it…..
my mom was a lil bit more direct…
“if you bring that pu$$y up in this house…i will smell it and and have your a$$!”
@KingPine,
Tell your mother I love her!
@KingPine,
i see what you’re saying, and i dont disagree. i’m still just not sure how that relates to bodie’s relative baggability
@The Champ,
“ya’ll are trying to convince me to wait until after they’ve been, excuse my french, ran through like the east busway”
i read that 50-11 times…and all I still come up with is
*I want to do what everybody else is doin*
@KingPine,
That’s how I read it too.
@KingPine,
i get and sh*t. thanks
This made me LOL for real.
Champ I think he called the lames “Simon”, referring to Simple Simon. Simple=Lame.
@miss t-lee,
Champ I think he called the lames “Simon”, referring to Simple Simon. Simple=Lame
i think you’re wrong, but i like your explanation better than shay-d’s
@The Champ,
Hahaha.
It’s all good…I’ma let you make it.
@The Champ, i like how you shut down all suggestions.
i knew a dude named Simon once. he was lame as the hell. i wonder if there’s a correlation between cats named Simon and lameability.
then again, i also think that one’s life chances are directly tied to their name.
i met a woman named jadadania. and she was a successful lawyer. so maybe i’m just blowing smoke.
“seriously, bodie, don’t worry about it. watch, in a few years most of those same girls will have grown out of that stage”
There is nothing to grow out of really. Girls… women always want the same thing. A man they feel can take care of them. It just so happens that a 15 yr old girl can’t bag a 30 yr guy on wallstreet. As a result, she chooses the next available thing, which most likely happens to be some “baller” in the neighborhood.
@A very sleepy Ivy St.,
“It just so happens that a 15 yr old girl can’t bag a 30 yr guy on wallstreet.”
Uuuum, have ya watched the news lately?? Happenin all the time. Shouldn’t be, but it is.
interesting way to look at the situation. but looking back, a lot of girls in HS wanted to “date” dudes who had the means (i.e. a car or money) to upgrade their situation.
@A very sleepy Ivy St.,
And I agree with you Ivy St.
It’s just that “Security” is defined differently from one woman to the next.
“east busway” — ahhh gotta love the Pittsburghese.
It’s interesting that he saw it as sloppy seconds – a girl would typically see it as “getting a man after he grows out of the being-a-dog stage.”
I think he’s right though – I’d want the guy who was less likely to be jaded from bad relationship/dating experiences.
@K.,
I think he’s right though – I’d want the guy who was less likely to be jaded from bad relationship/dating experiences.
i wonder, though, how common this feeling is. you’d think it would be universal, but apparently its not.
@The Champ,
I think its common for a person not to want to be in a relationship with someone (man/woman) that has been scorn. I dont know too many people that havent been in bad relationship. It would be nice if everything was all flowers and rainbows and sh!t but its not. I think as long as people use there bad relationships as a reference guide of (what not to do or deal with) then everyone would be straight.
@The Champ, I think it’s a pretty common feeling Champ. How do you figure it’s not universal? Who wants jaded, man?
@K., It has to do with the fact that experience is held as a good thing for men to have and a bad thing for women to have (with some exceptions, of course.)
Alot of women don’t even want a guy who doesn’t have at least 3 or 4 years worth of reltionship experience under his belt by the time he’s in his early 20′s. Mot men probably wouldn’t even care so much about that kind fo requirement from a women – just that she not be a lazy lay.
@Scipio Africanus,
Alot of women don’t even want a guy who doesn’t have at least 3 or 4 years worth of reltionship experience under his belt by the time he’s in his early 20’s. Mot men probably wouldn’t even care so much about that kind fo requirement from a women – just that she not be a lazy lay.
this is an entire topic by itself: how the relationship experience preference typically differs from women to men
@The Champ & S.A.,
Yup. This is the crux of the whole issue.
“Alot of women don’t even want a guy who doesn’t have at least 3 or 4 years worth of reltionship experience under his belt by the time he’s in his early 20’s”
I’ve never heard of this being a requirement before – and I’m a woman.
@K.,
Lol. Girl you know men just like to arbitrarily quantify things.
“A woman knows in the first 5 minutes…”
“It takes 2-3 years before you can …in a relationship”
“She’s a 7.3 on a scale of 10″
yada yada yada
@Scipio Africanus, on a separate note…”lazy lay” is not yet defined in the urban dictionary. i think someone should submit a definition from vsb. especially who ever told that story yesterday about the girl who just mounted and flung her hair.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lazy+lay
takers?
I am now reading this while I am at work and I’m glad its early and my boss isn’t in cause he’d have questions about why I’m laughing so loudly, but back to the point at hand this post.
Sloppy seconds or eighths as you put it… though this convo happened 6 years ago things haven’t changed, many young men feel the same way, they don’t want a lot of these young girl because the girls want the thugged out drug dealing dude who is going to buy them the gucci’s and prada’s and what not and the other simple (not simple minded ) but non-thuggish dudes get no burn (play).
You tell him that things will change in a couple years but truth of the matter is, that a lot of the time that isn’t exactly the truth. I’ve seen and I know many seasoned ladies who still have this “I NEEDS ME A BALLA TYPE DUDE” mentality and its really sickening. I think that many of these women do not grow out of this stage in their life, they are stuck there and then they complain about not finding a good man. NO its that the good man you want doesn’t drive an escalade that he bought with his drug money.
The good girls are out there, but the things is that at a young age guys weren’t checking for US (yes I’m one of them) cause we were the ones who were going to class and getting good grades, and not in the lunch room playing spades or dominoes…
DOES THIS EVER CHANGE?? IDK
@Liryc,
so, what advice would you have given him?
@The Champ, this is what I would’ve told homey try looking into someone who you wouldn’t automatically take a second look at. I’m not saying to check out the ugliest girl on the yard or nothing but don’t limit your options to the girls that are most popular, there are girl who are within your reach and fit your standards.. you just aren’t looking at them cause you’re focused on the girls who want the thugged dudes.. and seriously its not worth your time
Cause seriously waiting isn’t an option to these yougins
@Liryc,
yes yes
I agree whole heartedly and sh!t.
@Liryc,
“I’ve seen and I know many seasoned ladies who still have this “I NEEDS ME A BALLA TYPE DUDE” mentality and its really sickening. I think that many of these women do not grow out of this stage in their life, they are stuck there and then they complain about not finding a good man. NO its that the good man you want doesn’t drive an escalade that he bought with his drug money.”
Some of these women do change. What happens is that they want the white/blue collar guy to treat them like the drug dealer did without the expensive material things.
Hmm, if Lil’ B was asking Lil’T for advice….
1. I would ask him who he is approaching. Maybe his sights are set too high. Maybe he’s a 3, lol!
2. I would ask him HOW he is approaching these ladies. A little swagger mixed with respect can take you a long way. I’d bet a quarter that some of these girls would indeed give him a chance if he gave himself one.
3. I would tell him that there’s no such thing as a sloppy second. Unless you’re deep in the church and expecting your girl to be a vergin everyone has a past. Keep the Captain Save ‘Em cape in the closet and it shouldn’t be a problem.
This may not make him feel better in high school. But, in my experience, the ones who had “the best time of their life” in h.s. didn’t fare too well after. Sometimes h.s. is just gonna suck. It’s life’s way of teaching us patience and growth.
@Lil’T,
1. I would ask him who he is approaching. Maybe his sights are set too high. Maybe he’s a 3, lol!
LOL
@Lil’T, This is what it always comes down to – women are told to reach for the stars in terms of whom they date (“reaching for the stars means different things to different people, but the point is still there), men are told to stay in their lanes, and are scorned for trying to overachieve at all.
@Scipio Africanus,
I don’t think this is true. We’re pretty much talking about the same caliber of person, either gender: people who are pursuing a superficial person who is *not in their best interest* and not getting it. This happens to most of the “good girls” and the “good boys”. How is it “staying in your lane” to go after a woman who will appreciate you? That’s just superior judgement!
I’ve noticed this a lot…
Don’t shoot me but I had to Google Bodie Broadus cuz I had no idea who he was… (didn’t have HBO and missed the epidemic that is “The Wire”. Wanna fight about it?)
Post Googled, I LOL for real, making for interesting work convo. Surprisingly, I am not the only one who missed “The Wire”.
But that’s what God made friends who bought the seasons on dvd for and that’s why dinner nights were created! Nothing says friendly bonding like a home cooked meal and TV Shows on DVD!
It’s on my list of things to do in 2009…I’ll get to it eventually.
@Ro,
(didn’t have HBO and missed the epidemic that is “The Wire”. Wanna fight about it?)
yes!! when, where, and how?
@The Champ,
LOL @ Champ fighting a girl… is it really ever that serious C-Beezy? Shall I say you are a distant cousin to the Brown clan?
In any case:
When: whenever… bring it on twinkle toes!
Where: I’ll be in Cary, NC for the next 3 years…. plenty of time!
LOL@ how?
@Ro,
word. its on then, twiddledee. how does the summer of 2011 sound?
@The Champ,
Let’s go!
“Every chic is a *woman* that some other *man* is through with” cleaned up quote from Corey Holcomb. I don’t make a practice of quoting him, but unless you marry a perpetually single virgin, this is true. Get over that mess and realize who she is NOW. Besides, you don’t still have the wrapper on you either (not you specifically, just in general). The best food has seasoning of some kind….
@Saule Wright,
i love this reply…best so far…on point!
@Saule Wright, I agree, but you don’t want something with too much seasoning now do you, cause all that would lead to high cholesterol or high sodium intake.. got to be careful how much of a good thing is good for you!
@Liryc, too much seasoning on the right burger still won’t hurt you. Now if you out there eatin’ as much meat as possible, seasoning is the least of your worries.
@Saule Wright,
if i had to rank young, chubby black comedians, corey would be third behind only patrice o’neal and craig robinson. i’d be even more of a fan if he didnt laugh his way through all of his jokes.
@The Champ,
I would actually rank him above Patrice O’ Neal (heard only a little from Craig Robinson). Every routine I’ve seen/heard by him had me dying…which is refreshing since I don’t find many of the modern Black comics funny.
I cant really identify with his perspective on hs women. I was that girl who was checking for the geeky guy in the library and I have the prom pics to prove it!
All in all though, I think the best advice for teens and young adults is to focus on your school work and date in college. By that time the girls are out of their “I need a thug phase,” and boys are looking for more than a big butt and a smile.
@Dom,
“By that time the girls are out of their “I need a thug phase,” and boys are looking for more than a big butt and a smile.”
Can you get more and a big butt? What about a nerd with a big butt?
@Dom, You just earnestly and non-ironically stated/repeated exactly what Bodie was objecting to in the first place.
I think alot of the issue here is that it’s a justifiable blow to the ego. The idea that “I’m only good enough now because you realized those other dudes were no good for you.” It implies that ina perfect worls she would have lopped off the really bad qualities of those thugs, kept teh badboy essence, and ridden off into teh sunset with *those* cats, not “me”. In other words, deep down in her heart, she doesn’t *really* want him. That’s not a fun feeling to have, regardles of gender.
@Scipio Africanus,
Maybe I should have made myself a bit more clear.
There are exceptions to the rule, not all hs boys or girls fit in to the stereotype (I used myself as an example), but many of them do.
My point is, instead of wasting time trying to find the ones who can see past the physical, teens should be focused on getting their ish together so they can get in to college.
Then, date there since more men and women have grown out of thet stage and there’s a larger pool to choose from.
@Scipio Africanus,
Or maybe we need to redirect the whole focus of this country into appreciating a little more of delayed gratification. Adults need to learn that too.
The whole mentality has to be done away with. What are teenagers doing dating anyways? What happened to being friends, having fun, traveling, discovering life? This now-or-never mentality is what got us into this recession mess in the first place.
People couldn’t wait to have a better credit and/or a higher salary before buying that McMansion! And making me the wise spender (who waited to get her house) paying for their silly microwave mentalities.
We, the (hopefully enlightened) adults, should tell the kids that instant gratification and all its ills are not the solution. And that applies to everything in life even dating.
@Scipio Africanus,
I think alot of the issue here is that it’s a justifiable blow to the ego. The idea that “I’m only good enough now because you realized those other dudes were no good for you.” It implies that ina perfect worls she would have lopped off the really bad qualities of those thugs, kept teh badboy essence, and ridden off into teh sunset with *those* cats, not “me”. In other words, deep down in her heart, she doesn’t *really* want him. That’s not a fun feeling to have, regardles of gender.
damn. someone took their psychoanalytical pills this morning. good sh*t
I have several thoughts on this, but I will only say waht my advice would have been to Bodie, or to a young Bodia who is checking for those “thuggish ruggish Bone” types who are not checking for her b/c she isn’t shaped like a King Magazine/video
homodel or b/c she is not spreading it around like Parkay. My advice for both Bodie and Bodia….You are in HS. You need to focus on yourself, and don’t put so much stock in people who may not have anything going on for them other than money and the physical. Those same people are future baby mamas/baby daddies/inmates/crack addicts/overweight and obese/” tore up from the floor up”/actively unemployed/ college dropout/ still wearing fingerwaves former classmates. So, don’t wait and settle for scraps, instead, keep doing you…be better than them, and you will attract better.
Now, I don’t work with children, and I don’t know if this will work with todays kids, but it did work for me, and those “cool” HS dimes and thugs I went to school with all fit into one of those categories I listed.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
So true, well said!
Have you seen the dude Michelle Obama who was Michelle Obama’s first boyfriend? He wasn’t really feeling her back in HS and I guess he broke things off with her.
Now, he’s like a trash man in Colorado. He’s kicking himself in the a** but I’m sure she has no regrets.
This is funny, because I was having this convo with some friends and the females brought this up and the guys agreed; but we (the guys) also brought up the fact that there probably were no women checkin for Obama back in the day either and the women did NOT agree (surprise!).
Michelle wasn’t even checkin for him…he just wore her down until she could finally peeped his awesomeness…today that could be mistaken for stalkerish tendencies. To put emphasis on no women checkin for Barry O…there has never been a reference to an old girlfriend (to my knowledge…I haven’t read his book, so I could be wrong), I mean he didn’t marry Michelle until he was 31. As much as they dug into that brotha’s past…no mention of any ex-girlfriends? I’m sure he was tryin’ to get at some women that thought HE was corny…guess they kickin’ themselves too.
I guess that just goes to show that people come in and OUT of your life for reasons beyond comprehension.
@AkShone,
but we (the guys) also brought up the fact that there probably were no women checkin for Obama back in the day either and the women did NOT agree (surprise!)
interesting point. i can see how the gangly afroed n*gga from hawaii would get passed over, regardless of what anyone says after seeing the finished product
@AkShone,
Michelle wasn’t even checkin for him…he just wore her down until she could finally peeped his awesomeness
More truth
Lessons to take from this point:
a) Just cause she’s checking for someone flyer than thou doesn’t mean she’s destined to become a fat, crackhead babymama. She might not become first lady but most of yall wont be President
b)Don’t take it so personally if she’s not into you at first. She may come around and be well worth the wait.
Also, the sanitation guy in Colorado DID NOT dump Michelle. She dumped him ’cause he didn’t have his stuff together.
Me Fail= Michelle Obama Stan
@Me fail english?,
“Also, the sanitation guy in Colorado DID NOT dump Michelle. She dumped him ’cause he didn’t have his stuff together.”
Oh. My facts is jacked up. Nice to see even a young Chelly was on her sh!t!
i’ve tried this and some teens don’t really like this response either. the ones hell bent on “dating” or s3xing don’t want to focus on themselves. they want to be in the mix.
but i think it really takes an adult having a personal relationship with the youth to know the type of personality they have and what advice will get through to them the most.
@Gem of the Ocean,
I agree. I have several “mentees” with very different personalities and life stories. It definitely takes tailoring for each message to sink where it may.
That’s why we need more adults out there to mentor our kids… Volunteer please, it does a lot of help.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Trust me, I know them types too, and I agree with you. My 14 year old cousin was out of control last year this time and we had to have a couple sit downs.
I never even approached her with the “wait until you get to college” deal. Instead I talked to her about making good decisions and dating guys without criminal tracking devices.
I didn’t think she was listening but last week she shocked me by spitting some of the same stuff back at me.
I was so proud I nearly cried.
@Gem of the Ocean, i’ve tried this and some teens don’t really like this response either. the ones hell bent on “dating” or s3xing don’t want to focus on themselves. they want to be in the mix.
so, this is basically a peer pressure thing like KingPine said upthread? Monkey see. monkey do, monkey wanna smash, too? That sortof thinking can lead to destructive behavior.
I think I need to start mentoring here in Raleigh, maybe check out Boys & Girls Club or Girl Scouts or something, b/c these kids need me….
Kinda parallel to the same female oldhead pep talk for those who kept their vcards longer than the rest in middle or high school. Virgin girls had to let the boys run through all the ho’s, but get the bs line “you’re a good girl and I don’t want to hurt you” or just simply get the cold shoulder because dude knew he was not going to hit. So, the chick holding on to her goods had to wait her turn to be seriously pursued beyond the goal of dude trying to be her first. So, what did most girls do? Eventually lose it to a non-deserving boy who endured all the convincing “come on” talks or maybe just realized her worth and kept waiting. That’s really sloppy eighths indeed for both scenarios. But after a while, who’s really counting? You’re bound to follow someone no matter what stage in life you are in. Unless you stay a virgin and get with another virgin. Meaning, you find someone who is in the exact same place you are. It’s rare, though. So, good luck with an answer for the kiddos.
@3rd Supreme,
“Kinda parallel to the same female oldhead pep talk for those who kept their vcards longer than the rest in middle or high school.”
good point. i never said that bodies sentiments were gender specific. they’re relevant to both sexes
welcome and sh*t, btw
@3rd Supreme, yes yes, welcome very much.
Sounds to me like he was staying in his lane. He knew the game when it came to the lil chicks on his side of the street which is why he didn’t know about the other lil chicks who were about their books and not about getting their Friday Forever 21 outfit on so they could hit the club and get chosen. He probably didn’t even have access to the other side of the game and was on some Northern exposure kinda mess when it came down to it cuz I doubt that the kid turning in his essays all late would even be in honors class with the other lil chicks who were trying to keep it right.
Wanna know how I know? LOL! Back in high school I was that chick dudes didn’t give a second glance at (well number one cuz everyone knew my father was a fuggin psycho) because I was skinny, couldn’t be all out willy nilly without a parent somewhere close, kept my head in my books and dressed all Montgomery Ward-ish. The cool dudes labeled me as busted right up straight through graduation. LOL!
And hey, can’t say that I wasn’t all that busted looking when compared to the “labeled” high school dimes.
@CreoleInDC,
You didn’t say Montgomery Ward-ish! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
That was my plight – Montgomery Ward, JC Penney (if mom was feeling generous) and the Sears catalogue – Lawd, Lawd!
I have a bit of a “donkey”, so I think my parent’s main goal when we were shopping was to keep it covered at all costs. Which led to the classic ugly below the knee skirt that was jacked up 4 inches higher in the back than the front. And let’s not talk about vests, tapered leg acid wash jeans or……
*Lil’ T has just had a ful blown h.s. flashback and fainted. Jesus, be a smelling salt and memory loss.*
@Lil’T, I’m lucky in that I own all the family photo albums. There are some pictures that have been destroyed “accidentally” and others that will never, ever, EVER see the light of day unless being used to threaten my kids.
EVER!
@CreoleInDC,
He probably didn’t even have access to the other side of the game and was on some Northern exposure kinda mess when it came down to it cuz I doubt that the kid turning in his essays all late would even be in honors class with the other lil chicks who were trying to keep it right.
this reminds me of dookie asking cutty how to get to “the rest of the world” from baltimore and sh*t. as you can see, i’ll turn anything into a wire analogy.
welcome and sh*t, btw
@The Champ, I’m sorry…deep down I’m still that Montgomery Ward super nerd so I don’t get “The Wire” analogies. I was too busy watching something on the History channel. I’m striving to be cool by age 50. Hostess said she’ll help me.
Thanks for the welcome. Now I feel as if I need to purchase you a hostess gift. How are you by way of personalized stationery?
@CreoleInDC, I’ll buy you one of those$8 tickets to Detroit. Go stay in the city for a weekend. You will know all you need to know to function ’round these parts.
@CreoleInDC,
Damn son Montgomery Ward? You didn’t have a fighting chance. I can say that I was fly in high school.
@Humble_One,
See? And then you’ll be the one saying that girls didn’t check for you.
There you have your answer. Life is a hierarchy. Some people will always be first. The sooner we learn to live with it the better off we will be.
@Humble_One, Guess I bet not tell yall bout the Jesus sandals huh?
Too lazy to read the other comments.
Those chicks who were running for the ‘ballers’ in HS will be tired looking, have kids, etc., in a ‘couple years’. In a couple years, the chicks he or the ballers wouldn’t give the time of day will have improved.
First of all, kudos to you on being a young black man teaching… you know first hand how few of you there are **daps**
That whole conversation made me cackle… LOUDLY. It reminds me of all the conversations (about their late school work and life in general) I had with my students after class, during lunch, during my prep periods (d@mn, I never had a minute to myself!). Sometimes kids say the most off the wall stuff, but there is some interesting truth in it.
What would I have said to Lil Brodie? I think my sentiments have been echoed a few times in this thread. I’ve actually had this conversation with students in the past. Of course, my advice was a bit colored by my expeiences in H.S. I was in the same place– the nerdy bookish girl who no one payed any attention to.
~~~~~~~~~flashback to 2003~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Yeah, they ain’t checkin for you now, but its not a big deal. I know they are the girls you want now, but what do they really have to offer you? Really…what do they got? Their looks? Hmmm, those fade. A$$? Even though I think you are a bit young for that, you WILL get tired of messin with her when you realize she’s bubbleheaded. Status? Yeah, now, while your in high school. But you won’t be in high school forever (as long as you get me your lab report by Friday). All this will pass, especially if they are being ‘run through’ like you say. ”
“You’re young. Do YOUR thing. Make moves in YOUR life. Don’t worry about those girls because when the time comes, they WILL see what they passed up. Then it will be YOUR choice to give them time, or pass them by. Just don’t be an a-hole about it and you good. And maybe, the girls you aren’t checkin for today, will look different to you a few years from now. Yeah, I know you don’t believe me, that’s why you’re looking at me like that. You’ll see.
Now, get your butt to Mrs. Greathouse’s class before she calls over here cussin at me.”
~~~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~~~~~~
@blackberry molasses,
First of all, kudos to you on being a young black man teaching… you know first hand how few of you there are **daps**
lol, i wouldn’t be so quick with the daps. theres a reason why this entire exchange was a flashback. thanks anyway though.
and, good hypothetical exchange, even though i would have probably gotten fired if i quoted it verbatim.
@The Champ,
I’m not teaching anymore either. I did my 2 years and was OUT. But I had a good time (though it was hard as bones) and wouldn’t trade it for anything. At least you DID it. The dearth of young black men teaching (even if its just for 1 year) is somewhat disappointing, to say the least.
As far as the exchange… that wasn’t hypothetical. I really did have that conversation almost verbatim with a couple of male and female students… with some of the more colorful references added.
Yeah, I was THAT teacher. The young cute one who cussed and didn’t look too crazy using local colloquialisms. Them li’l ‘angels’ just wouldn’t LEAVE. A couple of them boys were threatening my employnent safety… coming after school EVERY day… my class wasn’t THAT difficult. SHEESH.
I’m in my early twenties now and a lot of girls still like guys who are ” ballers” per se and guys who they know are gonna dog them and I can totally relate to bodies situation cause that was me when I was in high school but you get over it and you find decent girls that are attractive that will deal with you
@gamma man,
“but you get over it and you find decent girls that are attractive that will deal with you”
good point.
btw, welcome and sh*t (i think), and as a welcoming gift, i’d like to give you a few periods and commas to ease your transition.
*dead*
@The Champ,
Thanks, Champ for another deep from the gut laugh.
Im phucking mad! Yesterday I couldn’t get on this site at all – I kept getting a 403 no permission WTF error. I tried it from my phone – same message. Then today I try to get on, and it lets me on briefly before I’m kicked off. I think THE MAN here at work is trying to block me. I got a few tricks for they azz, but I don’t know how long it will last.
Oh yeah about the post, tell ol boy he didn’t want any of those heffas anyway. He would be better off looking at pictures and “taking care of himself”.
@V Renee,
hahaha my oppressors havent caught wind of VSB yet. I may have to find a new job if they do.
@V Renee,
Oh yeah about the post, tell ol boy he didn’t want any of those heffas anyway. He would be better off looking at pictures and “taking care of himself”.
so basically, “don’t sweat it…beat it”?
Yo Champ you hit a topic near and dear to my soul bruh. What young Bodie was referring to was the idea of being settled on. NO MAN wants to be settled for. And I understand his position exactly. You see a dime piece and you want her, however she just doesn’t want you. You’re not ballin. But oldheads tell you wait till you get out of college same chick will be all over you. Not because you’re now ballin, but because she realizes that you have “more to offer”. NOPE!!! I don’t want to have “more to offer”, I don’t want to be the “oh I never really realized what a big brain you have” guy, I don’t want to settle for dime metal shaved scraps. I want to be fawned over with the same intensity them ballin cats was back then. Its insulting to any dude of any age to tell them that they are being settled for.
@Dorian G.,
I feel little homies pain too. This dialog was hilarious tho!
@Dorian G.,
*clap clap* B!+ches get the Dorian an ice cold beer n some of the stickies of the icky.
LOL…Chappelle Show quotes can fit into just about any conversation.
@AkShone,
LMAO
& that ‘time for some AkShone’ track could be theme music for just about everything you do in life.
@WuDaMan,
This is true.
In fact, I currently have 1,357 uses for track in my life thus far…1,358 should be a long any second now…
@Dorian G.,
“You see a dime piece and you want her, however she just doesn’t want you.”
This is the problem, right here. Stop checking for dimes and hook up with that nickel in your AP/IB/CP classes. Compare eyeglass scripts. Watch a program on PBS.
Dimes are always on the lookout for someone to transform their 10cents into a quarter. That’s why they love “ballers”.
A nickel with a brain, however, is money in your bank acount. You know, the one you share with her. Because she said “yes” when you asked and didn’t need to be convinced or run through by the entire basketball team before she realized your worth.
The one whose head you’re looking over so you can get a better view of the “dime piece.” smh.
@Lil’T,
“This is the problem, right here. Stop checking for dimes and hook up with that nickel in your AP/IB/CP classes. Compare eyeglass scripts. Watch a program on PBS.”
This is like telling asking a lion to go vegan. A young hungry teenage lion at that. FOH why should anybody have to settle for less than the best? Besides dime pieces can come from anywhere. They can be smart, athletic, on the volleyball team or on the chess team. But like they said above, when you a dime piece dudes WILL find you and holla accordingly. The frustration is always losing out to “ballas” and “he graduated alreadys” because of some arbitrary standard high school girls established long ago lol. I mean it does even out over the long run, but I can definitely feel young boys pain.
@Dorian G.,
Ok, I see your point: y’all were young, horny and PICKY!
@Dorian G.,
I don’t want to settle for dime metal shaved scraps.
LOLOL
“You see a dime piece and you want her, however she just doesn’t want you.”
How is this any different than the “dime” checking for a baller? A baller is just a male dime, really.
@K.,
Truth.com
Either let the HS dimes “settle” on you or “settle” on an adult “not-so-dime”.
Although I stand by my earlier point that most of these folks aren’t settling so much as they’re growing.
@K.,
“A baller is just a male dime, really.”
No not really. If the issue was just you don’t look good enough, I’m comfortable enough in my skin to accept that reality. But the issue is the arbitrary rules of what is wanted by women. A baller is just a dude with money. In high school there are only two major reasons dudes got baller money…maybe 3. 1. they slingin, 2. they parents got it, 3. Some sort of extraordinary type cat, think athlete who makes bank, or rapper who signed to a label or something.
As a regular dude in high school, you not competing with that. Like I said above, a dime can come from anywhere, but most girls ain’t looking at the backup FB like oh Dorian’s a baller.
@Dorian G.,
How are they any different? One is just as rare as the other. And why should girls limit themselves to what a boy in HS can make if they can get closer to what they want?
I had male friends in HS who were jumping off with older chicks who had cars and apts and stuff.
Why weren’t you “comfortable enough in [your] own skin” to accept that you werent balling? And why are the rules suddenly more “arbitrary” when they’re based on money rather than looks?
@Me fail english?,
Oh I’m not blaming them for getting what they want or can get. I’m just stating that I completely understand his frustration. Especially when you hear that those same girls come back around once you get out of college (which is 100% true by the way, I always thought it was hyperbole), cuz its like whats wrong with me now?
“Why weren’t you “comfortable enough in [your] own skin” to accept that you werent balling?”
I did accept that I wasn’t balling, and I did my numbers based on that to the best of my abilities. Its really all part of the process, I mean there are some incredible wins and some bad L’s but usually young dudes pull through.
“And why are the rules suddenly more “arbitrary” when they’re based on money rather than looks?”
Because it changes. The looks thing never change. If a girl is busted in high school, the odds are high that she’ll be busted as an adult, if she all of a sudden became a lawyer or engineer or something that won’t make me want her more, I mean she’s still busted, plus my own checks come on time I’m good. However flipped around, it is arbitrary cuz same shorties that were on that you must have a car for me to talk to you in 11th grade, are now on some hayy boo! I see you doing well, wink wink steez these days. Its like c’mon with that, you late and you lost, go holla at the dude from the verizon store with the souped up civic like you were doing before lol.
@Dorian G.,
This still doesnt explain much. The ugly duckling chick from Junior Chem could grow up to be a Halle look alike and do the same to dudes who wasnt checking for her then.
Still sounds like the looks and the $$$ are one in the same to me.
@Dom,
“Still sounds like the looks and the $$$ are one in the same to me.”
Wait do women truly believe this? This actually explains a lot.
@Dorian G.,
“And why are the rules suddenly more “arbitrary” when they’re based on money rather than looks?
Because it changes. The looks thing never change. If a girl is busted in high school, the odds are high that she’ll be busted as an adult”
This isn’t true at all. Looks change more than anything. I think they change even more than personalities and tastes. Whether regular Joe HS gets handsome or Prom Queen gets all saggy the looks WILL change.
@Me fail english?,
And why are the rules suddenly more “arbitrary” when they’re based on money rather than looks?
Thats a damn good question!
Ditto what Me Fail English said. Women are not moved as much by good looks as men are, for various reasons due to biology, socialization, etc. Sooo a dime to a woman is typically not gonna be the best looking guy. It’s the one who at least APPEARS the most ALPHA – stable and able to offer security. Ain’t nothing arbitrary about that.
@K.,
“It’s the one who at least APPEARS the most ALPHA – stable and able to offer security. Ain’t nothing arbitrary about that.”
Oh but it is. Like I listed above, why are guys ballers in high school? It seems to me that if girls were truly concerned about security and all that jazz, they would go after the guys that were the most likely to be successful professionally. At least men don’t lie about our desires. If you’re dating a drug dealer, or a guy who is clearly 5-10 years older than you at 16 then be honest about why you’re with him. Lets not do this dance.
@Dorian G.,
Then let’s just take security out of it. Women like Alpha males. Head fry cook at Mickey D’s is still pretty low on the totem pole.
Also, it still doesn’t explain why you call women’s standards arbitrary when I’m quite sure there are a lot of actresses/models/video vixens who weren’t dimes when they were younger. Have you seen Tyra Banks’ old pics?
It seems like youre tryna make the young girls who go for ballers seem more shallow than the young men who go for dimes when they’re really the same animal.
We’re talking about high school kids here. Where does “professionalism” come in – in high school? And note I said “appears” to be the most ALPHA – doesn’t mean he is.
You really can’t see why a baller (by high school standards, mind ya) would appear to be more secure than someone w/o a job or flipping burgers?
@Me fail english?,
By the way can I just tell you I love your screen name, me fail english? thats unpossible! lol
“Also, it still doesn’t explain why you call women’s standards arbitrary when I’m quite sure there are a lot of actresses/models/video vixens who weren’t dimes when they were younger. Have you seen Tyra Banks’ old pics?”
But like I said the overwhelming majority of ugly women now were ugly in high school and vice versa. Yes I know there’s exceptions here and there but you get the point.
“It seems like youre tryna make the young girls who go for ballers seem more shallow than the young men who go for dimes when they’re really the same animal.”
But they are more shallow, and thats exactly the point I’m getting at. Like I said above, if I was removed from consideration from a girl because I’m not good looking enough, EYE can live with that. Even right today, if I have no shot at Bria Myles because my bank acct isn’t where she is comfortable with it being, EYE can live with that.
However, what is frustrating is if me and you are both the same age in high school. We’re both working/studying/sports and pretty much normally I would be in play, yet I’m not in your radar because I’m not “baller” enough for you, its arbitrary and frustrating. How its interpreted above by young Bodie and most high school dudes is, “listen you’re great. But let me just let these older/thuggish guys run thru me for the next 3 or 4 years, then I’m all yours”. Well thats ridiculous. Its arbritrary because the definitions change. For us, attractive never changes. Whether or not you hit that bar is dependent on your gym membership and nature. But that definition is written in stone. You know exactly where you stand. For girls at that age it seems, not so much.
“But they are more shallow, and thats exactly the point I’m getting at. Like I said above, if I was removed from consideration from a girl because I’m not good looking enough, EYE can live with that.”
So it’s less shallow simply b/c you can live w/ it?
@Dorian G.,
Thanks for the screenname love
I guess where I’m confused is,if paper-chasing is “shallow”, how is wanting a chick for looks so deep? Neither has anything to do with how compatible you are with someone.
I can see where a young man could be frustrated that a chick with no car is rejecting him because… he has no car.
But telling a woman to loosen her standards for now because someday he might have a car or a degree is no better than telling a dude to wait until she gets out of her awkward phase. Sounds like a close-bus waiting to happen. And nobody wants that.
@K.,
@ Me fail english?.,
Maybe shallow shouldn’t be the term used here then, thats why I originally said arbitrary. Because I know most people are ok knowing what the target is. If a girl only talks to 6’5 skinny light skin dudes, and I’m a 6’0 regular darkskin dude, well how mad can I really get? I mean I know what the bar is and either I can reach it or I can’t. But in high school man that was 7 years ago, I’m getting old lol, I remember just thinking yo, this is really messed up. I was ready to don a cape and everthing for this one chick who was getting violated by some dude that worked in the mall cuz he was “so mature”. Even at that age I could see that dude was a loser, but you know it goes. It seemed silly then, and even sillier now.
@K.,
Truth.com indeed.
I said a version of that last week.
A male “dime” is not the cutest one in the pack. It’s the “alpha-est” one.
Bwwahahahaha….
Youngster sounded real salty!
Ey Champ:
I feel where he was getting at though. I heard the same thing when I was younger and although it is true, I was thinking like him. I remember when it used to be the fashionable thing for the HS chicks to have their older, car driving dude come pick them up from school. Broke bastards like me were still kickin rocks on the subway. It’s funny because i found myself giving the same advice to youngsters when I taught HS. I hate to tell them, but in certain circumstances he could wait a couple of years and still be getting scraps, but this time it’s scraps with baggage so tread lightly and select wisely..
@CPT Callamity,
“scraps with baggage”
you know, this actually was the original name of danity kane, before MTV vetoed it
bodie: “nah, mr champ, these high school chicks be trippin”
mr. champ: “what do you mean?”
bodie: “you know how it be. chicks be wanting ballers nowadays. i mean, i aint no simon³ or nothing. i does me, nahmean? but still, i aint all thugged out though. that just aint me”
*dream sequence into how champ should have responded*
mr. champ: bodie, those are bops… boppas… rim-rydas… gold-diggas… not every high school girl is like that. in a few years, those will be the same girls checkin’ for you when you’re successful. then the ball will be in your court… with that said, go on and get to work.
or
mr. champ as dave chappelle: well, lil’ n*gga… YOU.ARE.TRAPPED!!! you better slang crack, play ball, or start tap dancin’ for these h*es and white folks… somethin’!!! i’m sorry!!!! that’s the only way i’ve seen it done!
“mr. champ as dave chappelle: well, lil’ n*gga… YOU.ARE.TRAPPED!!! ”
LMAO
Instantly I’m reminded why I e-love you so much.
@8th Wonder,
soo…. what’s up with this e-wedding, e-twin??
P.S.
Good to see you, it is. Been too long it has.
To see you as well, it is good.
@8th Wonder,
Yeah, mofo – where YOU been?!?
Good question.
@SouthernCharm,
” well, lil’ n*gga… YOU.ARE.TRAPPED!!! you better slang crack, play ball, or start tap dancin’ for these h*es and white folks… somethin’!!! i’m sorry!!!! that’s the only way i’ve seen it done!”
LOL! A response like this + lettin kids turn in papers late woulda made Champ the coolest teacher ever!
@nia,
i used to freestyle with them at lunch too, but had to stop because not being able to cuss limited my wordplay.
@SouthernCharm, lool, that made me laugh.
thanks!
@SouthernCharm,
mr. champ as dave chappelle: well, lil’ n*gga… YOU.ARE.TRAPPED!!! you better slang crack, play ball, or start tap dancin’ for these h*es and white folks… somethin’!!! i’m sorry!!!! that’s the only way i’ve seen it done
bonus points if mr. champ started tap-dancing in place during this response
@The Champ,
“bonus points if mr. champ started tap-dancing in place during this response”
and ended with a, “MAAAAAAAAAANNNNN-TAN!”
The replies here show me that women aren’t honest with themselves about how fly they are/were.
Ladies, if you were basically cute and not a complete yatch as a teenager, every straight black dude who liked black women had his eye on you. Either he hollered, or if he didn’t holler it was because he (probably correctly) thought he wouldn’t have a chance with you, or that there would be no sex. He liked you. He did. He just wanted to bump uglies too. Period. End of story. You weren’t passed over because you were too much of a nerd, or too nice, or any of that other nonsense you all have convinced yourselves of. If you were baically cute and cool, he wanted you.
@Scipio Africanus,
Shots fired?
@Dorian G., Musket, at least. Canon, maybe.
@Scipio Africanus,
This is a big part of the problem too. Again, another reason to wait until college. Not like men ever grow out of the “Im tryna beat” phase, but at least with a little more booty under his belt he’ll start to see women are worth more than that as well.
@Dom,
To me if you’re waiting until college, you might as well wait until after college. I know the majority of women lose the vcard in college, but it just seems like hustling backwards to me.
@Dorian G.,
Gotta disagree. I think college age men and women are more mature than they are in high school, and more receptive to socializing than they are after college. That 4-5 year span is like a perfect window.
@Dom,
The perfect window to get smutted out. I don’t know what college you went to but the school EYE went to it was literally shooting fish in a barrel when dealing with vcards, and every dude treated it as such.
It got to the point that by junior year it was like ok, c’mon guys y’all are just taking advantage now. Imagine an 18 year old girl coming to orientation in the summer, and being exposed to dudes and game on a level she hasn’t seen before. Add in a dorm when school starts, and the fact that college completely removes you from real life…ie 1am spades games on a tuesday in a room full of ni**as. Plus a little social status from getting attention from a fully developed 21 year old cat, who might have a little popularity on campus maybe get you in a couple parties for free. And its a wrap. Dude just adds you to a list, and a notch, you become “oh soandso beat that”, then you changing your facebook status all crazy on some “Dom is thinking of a love that she never knew, boy you don’t know what you got till its gone” lmao. I’m saying for all that you might as well given it up to your prom date and it would have been memorable for both of you, or just wait till after college and find someone who is on the same wavelength as yourself.
@Dorian G.,
” then you changing your facebook status all crazy on some “Dom is thinking of a love that she never knew, boy you don’t know what you got till its gone”
Wooooow! LOL! This ish sounds a little personal? Did this happen to you or something? LOLOL!
I guess you do what works for you, but I waited till college for everything. A few years out I still feel like Im behind some of my peers in terms of social development, but all in all I think I jumped in to the relationship scene at the perfect time in my life.
I encourage all of my younger cousins to wait until after high school as well.
As far as the freshman coming in all green, I’d just have to encourage girls to think a little harder about who they deal with. Just cause you make it to Freshman year doesnt mean you should be giving it up to every smooth talker throwin jive talk your way. Hell I think that goes for any age.
I can honestly say I never thought about it that way, interesting.
@Scipio Africanus,
Nah, this wasn’t really true at my high school. Popular dudes might smut out an unpopular chick but to get the kinda recognition a girlfriend deserves she had to be:
-cute
-well-dressed
-popular
Those weren’t singularly sufficient, they were each necessary to getting wifed by a fly dude. Maybe my school was just extra cliquish. But there was no moving up and down the social strata. Damn, looking back on it, HS was rough!
@Scipio Africanus,
“Ladies, if you were basically cute and not a complete yatch as a teenager, every straight black dude who liked black women had his eye on you.”
I have to agree. Cute is cute and boys didn’t seem to care at my school if that cute was popular or not. I was a member of the National Honor Society, Principal Scholars, Young Authors contest winning nerd sect in HS…didn’t get contacts till I was 16 and a senior. Yet…the captain of the football team asked me to prom. I didn’t go with him. Went with a thug. lol.
I’d really be like Bodie, Dude do you really want to mess w/ a chick w/o patience. Think about it Bodie. Them broads is checking for some right now $ not how they getting that big $. I mean if they kicking it to a kat that is doing some ill shyt do they really love themselves? Do they even know themselves? I mean @ their age how can they know how they measure up to the stereo type that women think that slippidy mo bippity is tantamount to Love. You got to look for them chicks that’s doing good (insert all prepositions here) by themselves. They are the ones that you want on your team if you care to be treated like a man w/ scruples. When you getting w/ these women pay attention to the circumstances surrounding the hook up, it may show something about them and their character. Character that’s what you need to be looking for. After all a hot chick w/ character is hard to find kind of like a chick w/ a big chest and a equally big but… They are few and far in between.
@WuDaMan,
BTW YOUR HOMEWORK IS DUE YA LIL NEUGATORY.
Bodie; but wackarnolds is giving me a chance to make a difference in my comunity.
DON’T COME UP IN HERE GIVING ME THAT WACHARNOLDS MESS. This home work was due a long time ago. You supposed to be a student right now now a part of the workforce. Ya Mama n em need to be makin sure you get this lesson in before you go do some odd job for nice old Miss Johnson up the street. Not Miss Johnson the kat lady but Miss Johnson you better not let your ball land in my overdone decoration for the obscure holidays Miss Johnson.
Bodie; Okay Mr. Wu
That’s DaMan to you Mr. Sorry my homework is late & I got to go to work you aught to be shame. BTW it ain’t the lunch lady it’s yo guidance councelor. (I’d secretly give him the benifit of the doubt w/ taking off of his homework for it being late)
@WuDaMan,
You’re so insane, it’s wonderful.
But I would have said something along those lines to Bodie too…
@Ms. Sula,
Thanks I appreciate a lot you appreciatin me a lot.
**smooches** n **hugs**
@WuDaMan,
this made perfect sense to me. all of it.
i think its time for my lunch break.
I’d really be like Bodie, Dude do you really want to mess w/ a chick w/o patience. Think about it Bodie. Them broads is checking for some right now $ not how they getting that big $. I mean if they kicking it to a kat that is doing some ill sh!t do they really love themselves? Do they even know themselves? I mean @ their age how can they know how they measure up to the stereo type that women think that slippidy mo bippity is tantamount to Love. You got to look for them chicks that’s doing good (insert all prepositions here) by themselves. They are the ones that you want on your team if you care to be treated like a man w/ scruples. When you getting w/ these women pay attention to the circumstances surrounding how you meet, it may show something about them and their character. Character that’s what you need to be looking for. After all a hot chick w/ character is hard to find kind of like a chick w/ a big chest and a equally big bu++… They are few and far in between.
@WuDaMan,
My bad yall I got x-cited it’s lunch time and I can’t edit my comments like I used to. Ah well all is fair in blogging and some thing.
@WuDaMan,
My bad yall I got x-cited
no worries. just try not to let your x-citement splatter and sh*t
@The Champ,
Reminds me of the Leon Phelps ‘handsome boy modeling school’ add. One of the first things the handsome boy modeling schools taught me was to wash my wang…
after reading through these comments, its funny how the men and women are on completely opposite sides of the fence with this topic.
that is all and sh*t.
@The Champ,
Oddly enough it’s almost arsonistlike of you The Champ. *conspiracy eyes*
LOL…just THIS topic, Champ????
@The Champ,
Are we though? I didn’t see that.
We’re basically saying the same thing, the thing is as women we are “socialized” to be more patient and wait. Men are not socialized to do so… that’s why it’s harder for men to realize that Patience is actually a virtue.
Plus, if you’re only good for sloppy seconds then that’s what you’ll get
@The Champ, I think we’ve already established that we (men & women) speak completely different languages. Plus something tells me that most of the girls who have contributed to this post were not the “type” young Boadie was checking for in high school. So, we cant relate. I for one wasn’t checking for thug life back then. But boys back then (thug or not) wanted the brick house chick who wasnt giving them any play. I was 100 pounds and I
liked Algebra. But nobody advertises my kind. LOL.
@The Champ, maybe I can relate to young Boadie’s position. I was told similar things by older women when I was in high school. They told me in so many words that these boys will come around AFTER they get done playing the field. To which I replied, “oh joy” with a sarcastic smirk on my face. So, I guess this lesson isn’t gender specific.
@The Champ, Ive never heard so
@miss patterson, oops. i hit the submit button early. and i don’t remember what i was going to say here.
@Miss Patterson,
you’re not getting all junior soprano on us, are you?
@The Champ, regardless I’m still the boss of this family! Johnny? Is that you? Where’s Bobby?
Don’t know if this was brought up, but is it possible that Bodie wasn’t baggin no chicks cuz he was just a sleazy a-hole?
I mean, when I was in school there was a certain kinda dude who could smooth-talk a teacher and it wasn’t the kinda dude girls wanted as their possibly first real relationship. I find it kinda hard to believe that NO cute girls in school were dating dudes that worked at McDonald’s. C’mon Bodie…
@Me fail english?, Don’t know if this was brought up, but is it possible that Bodie wasn’t baggin no chicks cuz he was just a sleazy a-hole?
Exactly…I mean he seems to be full of games and the advice to him should have been..maybe if you put the games aside and come to someone real…instead of wait till they dont have a choice but to deal with your games the whole convo might have been different……
@shay_d_lady,
Right, being with Bodie is what sounds like settling to me. I’d rather be alone than end up with the smooth-talking underachiever at any stage in life.
Or maybe he just needs time to grow into his head (still LMAO @ upthread)
@Me fail english?,
Interesting point.
(and if he was a young Bodie as the Bodie on The Wire, then why would any girl want to be with him?)
@Ms. Sula,
And you know what almost went over my head(…or maybe I’m reading too much into it)?
This fool basically said “yeah Mr. Champ they dont want me…but I’d bet they’d do something strange for some change!”
Ol disrepectful, raggedy ass tramp of a boy. That’s why he wasn’t gettin any play.
@Me fail english?,
But listen to the context clues Bodie is so a good kid. He 1. cares enough to do his homework even if it’s late. 2. has a real job the boy has ambition and is trying to make a difference in his world. Now granted he may have been talking out of the side of his neck. I mean to get your teacher to accept a late assignment w/o penalty…
@WuDaMan,
Yeah maybe I’m being a bit hard on Bodie. The real bad kids never showed up at all. I just don’t trust slick-talking, used-car-sales types. I could see where maybe his female classmates got the same impression.
@Me fail english?,
What about the guys who were busting ass getting their work done, getting all As. Most of those weren’t getting any play either. Does that mean there’s something wrong with them too?
@kamakula,
leading questions like these, that have nothing to do with what i wrote makes me think this post hit a sore spot with a lot of the guys.
where did i suggest there was smthg wrong with the overachievers? i cant tell you why you didnt get dates in school. just cuz girls dont dig slick talkers doesnt mean they should swoon at nerds’ feet. if i had to take a stab at it id say most overachieving men didnt stay in their lane and try to date girls of their social strata. i reiterate, i dont believe that every cute girl at any of yalls schools was a gold digging, future welfare queen. You were most likely as vain as the girl that rejected you.
By the way, The Champ, do you know what Bodie is up to these days?
Having recently turned 21 and thus being the closest to the high school experience I felt qualified to comment.
There’s really not much you can say to encourage high school kids to wait. Some people just have to learn the hard way, however unfortunate that is. Kids are doing the deed in 6th grade now so if their parents haven’t given them The Talk or scared them straight with tales of what happens to your body when you get pregnant and/or pics of STDs (thanks Mom!), it’s pretty much a wrap.
I used to be optimistic in thinking that there are a lot of beautiful, intelligent, honest, ambitious, straightforward chicks like myself who are confident enough to tell a guy she’s interested and feminine enough to let him lead from there. THERE ARE NOT! A true lady is a rarer commodity these days than a gentleman, because a man will rise up to the standard of the woman he deems worthy.
And to be brutally honest, only 10% of the virgins I know are that way by choice. The other 90% are…challenged, be it aesthetically, emotionally or socially (read: unattractive, crazy or just plain weird).
@Techgirl88,
”
Kids are doing the deed in 6th grade now so if their parents haven’t given them The Talk or scared them straight with tales of what happens to your body when you get pregnant and/or pics of STDs (thanks Mom!), it’s pretty much a wrap.”
Kids in the 6th grade were having sex at this age when I was growing up. And this was the late 80′s early 90′s.
@Humble_One,
I was playin knock knock w/ the latina twins next door….in 5th grade…..1981.
parents don’t leave the “joy of sex” in plain ass sight
@KingPine,
When I was in the 6th grade, this girl bought her older brother’s karma sutra book and the joy of sex book to school; showing off what she could do. This is also the same chick who hosted after school “parties” when her parents were at work. smh…if that was happening then, I can only imagine what kids are doing now.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
“This is also the same chick who hosted after school “parties” when her parents were at work. smh…if that was happening then, I can only imagine what kids are doing now.”
agreed…
sh*t we was happy to find a tore up worn out raggity ass *corner* of penthouse as kids….
now it’s click booya……
@Humble_One,
Wow. All I can say to that is it seems to be more and more the norm instead of the exception. My mom used to be a substitute teacher, and once had had to talk to a kindergarten girl who was trying to get a little boy to pull down his pants so they could play “mommy and daddy”.
Moral of the story: Please lock the door! lol
@Techgirl88,
Yo you got to do more than lock the door and hide the books. You probably got to put em in a bubble. I learned the word pu$$y from the neighbor hood kids. Knew what everybodys parts looked like (from stealing away w/ my Mom’s prenatal book). I think you got to pray and hope for the best. Cuz one nap time in kindergarten I tried to put my wang on her slit. What’s got to go down is we got to be better as a people. We got to collectively and individually fight our good fights. And when faced w/ faced w/ the neugatory dregs of society we got to learn to go Socrates on em. And ask creativly ‘why you wanna do that’ instead of doing the do just to be doing it.
@WuDaMan,
“Cuz one nap time in kindergarten I tried to put my wang on her slit.”
roflmbaoooo…….
@KingPine,
Hey
@WuDaMan,
“Cuz one nap time in kindergarten I tried to put my wang on her slit.”
Holy ish!!! bwahahha
@miss t-lee,
Yall laughin. I was tryin to make the booger girl stop cryin about being the booger girl.
She suggested it.
Lol. Wu stop. How does that make her any less the “booger girl”
Now she’s just the booger girl…with “experience”. Poor baby
@ WuDaMan
She suggested it?
Oh now…this is even funnier…dayum!
@Techgirl88,
And to be brutally honest, only 10% of the virgins I know are that way by choice. The other 90% are…challenged, be it aesthetically, emotionally or socially (read: unattractive, crazy or just plain weird).
I think that’s a point that is also, often overlooked.
testing to see if the man is still trying to hold me down.
@V Renee,
This time the man failed.
Man, in high school i would’ve settled for sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths or fifths. I was just happy someone wanted to give me some at tha time..lol
And that didn’t happen till the end of senior yr. I was a late bloomer. (so to speak)
@Tx10inch,
See people? It’s all perspective.
I have appreciated every single comment on here.
*Thinkin of HS*
I wasn’t gettin no play but I also wasn’t actively seeking it out. ( I did have my chances in summer programs, still didn’t indulge. That’s another story.) I was the kid with the too-big glasses doing well in class, working every weekend so I could have money to buy clothes. By my senior year, the most popular girl in our class was feelin me. I had a few admirers by then but my sights were set on undergrad so I was ready to blow that popsickle stand.
I remember in undergrad, there were girls from my HS who were checkin for me. I had grown into myself and past them.
I also saw a few of the girls everyone was tryin to get at later at the store on winter break. Children and not nearly as attractive. I almost didn’t believe it was her until she spoke to me. Color me shocked that she unpeaked (yes I made that word up) so quickly.
Some people just peak early and some develop later.
Exactly. The response to the “you’re telling me to hold out for scraps” line is to remind the kid that as he gets older (from the vantage point of HS), not only will his tastes possibly change, but women he wouldn’t give two thoughts about now will dominate his mind later. Girls he doesn’t think much of now will become the fine honeys (to use the vernacular) of tomorrow.
To use a sports metaphor (Champ, why didn’t you do this?), if he were smart enough to defer his eligibility a few years while he picked up more experience elsewhere, when he does get into the game, he’ll find himself a better player and that flashy team that five years ago had all the hot young stars and seemed to be on track to winning all the trophies is the one that everybody let’s go to voicemail when they see them calling.