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Parenthood Strugglelife.

So you're saying that you can't seem to find mommy. mommy. mommy. mommy. mommy?

So you’re saying that you can’t seem to find mommy. mommy. mommy. mommy. mommy?

Parenthood, ah parenthood.

It’s simultaneously one of the most rewarding yet stressful endeavors any person can enter into. For one, you literally have no clue what type of child you’re going to get. You might get a child who inexplicably loves “Gangnam Style” or loves to tell you to worry about yourself in the most aggressively polite way possible. Or you can get a devil spawn.

The possibilities really are endless and you get to find out who you have over the course of time. My daughter? She’s a total comedian. She loves to laugh and make people laugh and has one of the most developed imaginations I’ve ever seen. She loves art, and likes singing. All things she got honestly between her mother and I. But she’s only four. Who knows who she’ll be even two years from now. Cool runnings. Peace be the journey.

Well, for all the fun and exciting parts, those stressful aspects? F*ck. Or even the ones that break you down. Maaaaaaaaaan listen. You get to learn so much about yourself. It’s non-stop on-the-job training. So what are some of the aspects that will make you want to pull your hair out (unless you’re Panama Jackson and you’ve already done that)? Glad you asked.

1. School

This could largely depend on where you live. But if you live in a major city this is definitely your struggle. If you live in the suburbs already then sure, you can probably send your child to the neighborhood school and call it a day without too much stress about whether or not the education your child is getting rivals that of Eastside High after Joe Clark left but before he returned. SAMS!

Major city though? If you aren’t rich enough to send your kids to private school then you’re like everybody else struggling to get your kids into the few public schools that are actually, well, educational. In DC, we have some elementary schools that are good and for the most part, they’re all in the rich part of town, which is far as hell from the rest of us citizens. Then, there’s the fact that we have a lottery. So you have to Wait for Superman to pull your lever. That goes for charter schools and public school slots here. You visit schools and find one you like and hope that you “win the lottery”. It’s stressful. It will drive you mad. And it’s something you probably don’t think about until you have to. Sure we all think about public education. Some of us work in it. But unless you have a child who is going to experience public education then you can’t truly appreciate how stressful it is find a good fit for your child only to wait for somebody to let you know if you will be able to send your child there or if you’re going to have to 1) move; or 2) have to find a way to save the money so you can send your child to a private school and eat Ramen noodles, which you totally swore off after college.

You know what? Even before that…

2. Day care

Do you know the average cost of daycare in Washington, DC, is like $1,400. A month. That’s a mortgage. So imagine having to pay a mortgage or rent AND that as well? But then there’s the finding a day care that works for you and your family. Is it educational or just an all day playplace. Of course you want educational. What time do they open? What time do they close? Do they make food there or do you have to bring their snacks and lunch? What about their teaching method? Montessori or traditional? Then of course you have to get used to dropping your kid off at day care while they scream and yell for you for the first few weeks. Do you know what can tug at your heart? Knowing that you have to leave your kid there while they’re screaming but not being able to go pick them up because they won’t learn to separate from you if they don’t. <—probably more of a mommy issue at first. My daughter was much more okay with me leaving her then her mother. The good thing about day cares though is that some of the mothers are HOT.

Wait. What?

Crush. Kill. Destroy. Stress. It’s a lot.

3. The things you can’t fix…

My child has THE WORST ALLERGIES. I live in DC. Anybody who lives in DC with allergies will tell you how difficult that life is. I don’t have allergies but her mother does. She got them honest. Do you know how hard it is to look at your child’s face all puffy and stuffy and know there’s nothing that you can do about it short of giving them some medicine and hoping it kicks in? When your wakes up and tells you that she’s tired of being stuffy and of allergies and you know she’s stuck with them forever. It breaks me down. I can’t do anything. Hell I toyed with the idea of going back to school to get a degree in biology so that I could become a scientist and cure allergies. Then I’d probably end up dead as the allergy medicine companies colluded to have me murdered for ruining their bottom line, but you get the point.

4. OPC – Other People’s Children

I don’t typically mean your friends, but the kids in your neighborhood or when you go to a playground and some other little youngster does some sh*t you don’t approve of but its 2013 and you can’t check anybody else’s kid without fear of at best getting yelled at and at worst going to jail with the words “sexual predator” following your name forever. It sucks though, because people want their kids to play with your kids and you’re whole thougth process is like, ewww…shoo fly. Judging. Point is, you want your kid to have friends, but you’d also like to hand pick them which is nearly impossible.

Anyway, those are some stresses of parenthood. What are others folks without children don’t really realize until it happens? Hell, what are things you folks without kids think would be stressful?

Let’s get physical.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DADDY TO YOU aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.blacklatinafabulous.com Maris

    MANNNN #4. External influences are a b*tch. There is nothing like that sinking feeling you get when you raised your child practically network TV and radio-free and they come home after two weeks of pre-k (while you have company) and walk in the door screaming “Pull Up to the Scene wit’ My Ceilin’ Missin!!!!!!”

    **wails**

    • nillalatte

      ROTFLMAO!! surprises are a biotch. lol

    • Todd

      Well, I just gave in to the radio. That’s why my daughter asks for A$AP Rocky’s “F*cking Problems and Drake’s “No Lie” and “Started from the Bottom”. Eh, it’s better than my child listening to poorly done music on Radio Disney. I’m not expecting deep lyricism, but can I get kids who can sing on key and play their instruments properly? LOL

      • LMNOP

        Radio Disney is THE WORST. I don’t think I get the actual station, but they put commercials on Disney channel with disney stars singing and encouraging kids to watch them on youtube. I saw one with this girl singing a god-awful song called hurricane and talking about how it was “like about the weather, but also, like, about a relationship, you know? Like sometimes the weather is like, good, and sometimes its, like, bad, just you know, like a relationship.”

        And then my kid is always telling me about these pro-social commercials she allegedly sees on disney channel like “After Doc McStuffins, I saw a commercial with a lot of black women who are doctors talking about how they always wanted to be doctors, and that if I work really hard in school, I could be a doctor too.” But for every one of those there are like 8,000 commercials telling kids to listen to some illiterate actress on youtube.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        “Started from the Bottom” is kinda that jam though. Get ‘em started early…

      • http://TheNewEve.com Bunni

        My niece is 2 and she loves her some Rihanna….we try to sing mary had a little lamb to her…nope, shes in the backseat like “still got my money” smh…its one of those things you just have to stop fighting…we were done after one day she laid all her teddy bears down for a nap, stood up and screamed “2 CHAINS!!!!” lawd!!!

        • Sweet GA Brown

          *dead

          Thanks to Lil Webbie my cousin learned to spell “independent” in pre-k.

          • GypsyCurl

            ROTFL yessssss! My nephewlearnedhow to spell independent from that song. All I can say is at least Lil webbie spelled it correctly.

            • Yonnie

              Unlike all of the children who were pre-k aged in ’98 and learned how to misspell ‘F-a-b-o-l-o-u-s’

    • Salaam

      You know…I’ve got one son that’s all Justin Beiber and Kidz Bop, and his little brother that’s all Rack City Chick and Jeezy….in my mind, that means I’ve achieved balance…right? No?

      • Rewind

        So when I come over to visit, I’ll bring 2 TVs. One for Scared Straight and the other for Vanilla Sky and I’ll see which one of your kids I have the potential to screw up first.

        • salaam

          SHUTUP!

          • Rewind

            hehehehe

    • Phlyy Girl

      I just gave in. My daughter USED to sing gospel hymns. Then one day, I was in the car and the radio was on and “Pop That” came on and she started waving her arms and telling me “Mommy that’s Titi (my 20 y/o sister) song.” And I won’t even tell you which words she knows of “All Gold Everything”. My only consolation is that….well, I have no consolation. I just hope she doesn’t grow up to be on Love & Hip Hop.

      • MissRae

        LOL

  • bRocka

    Damn, I should not have clicked this. I’m really on the fence about this whole having a baby thing, but since I am 34, I really need to figure it out. All my friends say the rewards far outweigh the lifestyle changes, and the perpetual broke-ness, but I still don’t know that I’m convinced. Thanks for not making this any easier :/

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      “All my friends say the rewards far outweigh the lifestyle changes, and the perpetual broke-ness, but I still don’t know that I’m convinced. ”

      This. It’s so much easier to see the very real sacrifices than the intangible positives people often talk about- but if people keep doing it, it must be OK. Things that really svck tend to die out right? No to mention, it will suck when you’re 85 and have nobody to make sure you get in the right nursing home.

      • salaam

        “No to mention, it will suck when you’re 85 and have nobody to make sure you get in the right nursing home.”

        being at the mercy of a state run nursing home is a real concern….

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Whats worse, having children or not having children and ending up in a nursing home?

        There’s plenty of adult children that are unable to help their parents or flat out dont want to.

        • salaam

          i would say that the children that just do not want to help would be worse b/c you know they are just waiting for you to die (if not pushing you along a lil faster) so that they can get whatever they are going to get.

    • GypsyCurl

      I just turned 29 (happy b-day to me) and I am child free (no pregnancies, abortions, or child deaths). I can’t imagine having kids right now. I love kids. But I like being able to give them back.

      • salaam

        Happy Berfday GypsyCurl!!

        *hands you a bag of my patent-pending inappropriately shaped flavored glitter to sprinkle as you see fit*

        • GypsyCurl

          Thankie thankie *Standing with my mouth open wide* ah ah a ah ah a ah ah a ahhhh.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        HBD!!!!

        I have never conceived either. Im the only person I know that hasn’t. I used to say that I dont want to have children until Im financially capable of supporting myself and 2 other people. Im worried I wont have enough money to give my children everything that I want them to have.

        • GypsyCurl

          *Shakes hand*

          Nice to meet you, I’m GypsyCurl.

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Hi GypsyCurl! Nice to know I’m not alone out here.

  • SweetSass

    Don’t have kids. Can’t really relate. The clips were funny.

    I don’t think I was a kid.

    I just emerged fully formed… from the sea foam.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      “I don’t think I was a kid.

      I just emerged fully formed… from the sea foam.”

      Lol.

    • Salaam

      Lol…sweet…u know your archenemy will have something to say about that…

      • Todd

        Yeah….the shots fired will remind people of what North Korea can do. :)

      • SweetSass

        Welp, they need to get their life! Is Iyanla available?

    • Todd

      Why don’t you think you were a kid? You did play at some point, right?

      • SweetSass

        I read books from a very early age. I wasn’t interested in a lot of normal kid stuff.

        • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com Malik

          Que? My sister and I were very young readers as well. If video games didn’t exist I would go through 50+ books a year.

          • SweetSass

            I grew up too po’ for nintendo an’ all that. So you can imagine how many books I went through per week. I got to where I could read a novel a day. Literally. 300 pages+. I was a self-taught speed reader.

            • Rewind

              Me too. Except the parents did have some money to give me games and stuff. But I did both at the same time. Excelled pretty well. Even published a poem in 3rd grade. My grandfather was old school, demanded excellenace when he knew you were capable of it.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          Join the club. I’d wager that most of us were outchea reading at a very early age.

          And I for damn sure was a kid.

          • Phlyy Girl

            My mom loooooveesss to tell the story about her punishing me by taking away my books when I acted up as a child.
            I personally think she’s got issues. WHY YOU AIN”T WANT ME TO BE GREAT LADY?!?!?!
            I JUST WANTED TO LEEEARN.
            Nah, but that really was tragic for me.
            I was a #creeper. I didn’t like going outside

            • Yonnie

              I definitely used to get in fake trouble for hiding under the covers with a flashlight to read when I was supposed to be sleep.

            • dtafakari

              Same here! My mom used to take all my books and force me to go outside with my little brother as a punishment.

          • LMNOP

            Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, how do you think we all got to be so very smart?

          • Medium Meech

            Reading is for nerds. I stil don’t do it. Television is a far more efficient and accurate medium. I don’t spell good though, so there’s that.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    First, I don’t have any chirrens. Big respect to all of you who do. That’s hard work for sure.

    As for daycare. I think that these days people are incredibly mobile. Once they go to college many never return to their hometown. That means that the former sources of childcare are no longer available, such as grandparents, aunts, etc. And, they usually don’t even have long-term friends in their chosen cities which means they can’t even take advantage of friend’s relatives for daycare.

    I guess this is one of the downsides of this countries modern economy. The places where many of our parents live, that formally had well paying jobs, don’t anymore and many people have to strike out on their on.

    To a certain degree this may apply to schools as well. If you are in a city where you don’t know anyone and you have no connections through family then it’s almost impossible to get your kids into good schools via back-channels.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      *country’s

    • Leila

      That’s what I’m through now. I moved cross-country after college and settled with a guy from Cali. My family is on other side of country and raising a daughter without their support has been HARD. There are many days where I just want to pack up and move back to NY.

      • Todd

        Your husband’s family can’t support you? Hey, if it wasn’t for my fam, I don’t know what I’d do. Of course, I’m nervous about dealing with my in-laws, but that’s another story.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        @ Lelia

        I feel you on the no support system. We relocated to an area where the closest relative is 3+ hours away. Keeping the sipce in the relationship is hard because you just don’t pick anybody to watch your kids.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Yep, there is a lot of value in being close to family that doesn’t become apparent until it’s too late.

    • Todd

      Agreed on the moving front. That’s why when my wife is pregnant, and I had an opportunity to move back home, I took advantage. It’s amazing how knowing people in the right spots helps a lot. I don’t have the foggiest clue what we’d do otherwise.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        The right connections are everything, Todd.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I agree; family support has immense value. I’d bet many of use have parents, possibly aunts and uncles who are just waiting to baby-sit for the free. That’s the main reason I would consider at least moving close to my hometown.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Yep, in this country we are taught to be independent. We aren’t taught how much that independence from family can cost.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          i just wrote an essay that touched on this. we act as though leaving your people and your land is the “natural” progression of things. which, maybe it is unnaturally natural, this country being founded on people who left or were taken or forced out of their lands.

          the post-war nuclear family structure is very isolating and exhausting for both parents and child. and if you’re born to a couple of psychos, this social alienation can take on nightmarish perspectives.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I think it has to do with capitalism, Esa. If we stay home with our parents, we don’t buy a house or appliances or furniture or spend on childcare. etc.

            So we are taught to think it’s normal to leave. And, in the process we spend money. That’s the American way. Consumerism is everything.

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              mm well i am not sure you have to live in the same house to keep the family connected. i know lots of fams that take over a building, have their own apartments but remain in physical proximity.

              also the same is true for non-urban life, as in my friend’s family has five houses built on the same land. interestingly all the kids left home but returned over the years to raise their families with each other. and you can just feel it when you’re around them. dozens of folk and no beef, no drama, no extraness.

              gives me faith in the possibility of returning to our essence.

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                True but, we don’t have to leave the nest as early as we are pressured too.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                  yea and there is that stigma of returning home after school, irregardless of the economic realities of the world in which we live.

    • GypsyCurl

      I used to think that if I had a child in college, that thing would be right in class with me. Bump day care.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Lol. That might last for 10 minutes of one class.

  • Salaam

    Lol @ OPS…..sooo feel you on that one….when my son was a baby, I swear he attracted the DIRTIEST little kids that wanted to touch him, hold him, play with him, or give him something that they just took out of their mouth….ewww and ewww….and then there was the time we were in a restaurant and this old white lady was walking past and stopped to look at him and before I could blink she bent down and kissed him on his face. #n1ggasaywhat!!?? #wherethehelltheydodatat!!?? I went off.

    • Salaam

      D@mn..”OPC”….I should be asleep.

    • Sweet GA Brown

      My eggs just retracted at the thought of conceiving a child that would one day be…touched by dirty hands and kissed by strangers.

      • salaam

        lol…i tell you what…stuff like that makes you very aware of how you interact with other peoples children…most of the time people don’t mean any harm, but boundaries are real and need to be adhered to…

        • Phlyy Girl

          “stuff like that makes you very aware of how you interact with other peoples children…most of the time people don’t mean any harm, but boundaries are real and need to be adhered to…”

          Allllll of that. I never really touched other peoples children unless the child reached out and touched me first, but NOW, I make sure I ask first and even then, I only touch a foot or leg. Never the face, head or hands.

          Not to sound hella pretentious, but it’s worse when you have a cute child. I used to hate people in Target coming up and trying to rub my daughters face and then looking at me all crazy when I would move the cart and not apologize for it. My child is NOT a pet! As a matter of fact,you would ask a pet owner before you touched their animal for fear of getting bit right? Well my child and I have teeth.
          Do with that what you will…

          • Sweet GA Brown

            I agree. I dont touch children whose parents I dont know personally. I dont kiss children or let children kiss me. I try to respect boundaries.

            When I have my babies I will put a mini mosquito net over the car seat or stroller when we are out in public to help ppl with their urge to touch.

            • Phlyy Girl

              lmaoooo @ mini mosquito net.
              I should have invested in that, but I didn’t want to give my child a Michael Jackson-esqe type of life.

          • salaam

            BOL!! girl…*dead* at the target cart blocking….but yeah, i’m right with you on that…shyt…people dirty.

            • Phlyy Girl

              Dirty.As.Hell.
              It was either block them with the carts or start handing out Sani-wipes and I wasn’t there for that!

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      BOL!!

    • Rewind

      I think they have haz-mat suits in baby, toddler, & pre-teen sizes now.

  • minxbrie

    Don’t have kids (Thank God), but I did get a taste of child-rearing when my little cousin came to live with her Dad. He was always working and my aunt just wasn’t prepared to raise her husband’s illegitimate child so I took it up. I dressed her, fed her, picked her up from school, made sure she did her homework… Props to anyone who’s a parent because having her between the ages of 4-6 was enough to make sure I would NEVER end up pregnant by 20 like every one else in my family.

    #4 definitely speaks to me. She went to the same elementary school I did, but she struggled. It’s mainly upper-middle class (and white) students who attend so she was constantly feeling marginalized because she didn’t have the same lifestyle (I was 15 at the time, I could only pay for so much) or hair as the other girls. Kids can be so vicious to each other when someone is different…

    Unsurprisingly, a little boy I used to watch in kindergarden duty committed suicide at the age of 11, so I was thankful that she went back home to her mother before that could happen to her.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Wow, suicide at eleven. That’s tragic.

    • The Other Jerome

      Suicide?! Thats awful!

    • Rewind

      That’s what scares me the most about kids. Parents really don’t give their kids enough credit in realizing how smart and self-aware they are. You’d think what does an 11-year old have to be so sad about that they’d commit suicide…but people don’t realize anything a child feels before reaching 18 is practically the entire world to them. They don’t have the ability to see how much small their problems are in comparison to the world because THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO. That’s why parents can’t get caught up in the daily grind, they have to be aware.

  • Salaam

    Lol….also, what about shyt that you just don’t know until you have kids?? Like, when my son was born, I didn’t know that they would circumcise him with no anesthetic.. I didn’t want my brand new baby to be in pain, and I felt like the doctor was being an @ss about it so I looked at him and said “how would you like the tip of our dyck cut off while you’re wide awake??”..#scuuuuuuurck #recordscratch #wholeroomgotquiet …hubby was so embarrassed…one of the nurses had to come and talk me down…*shrugs* #newmom #ididntgetthememo #dontfukcwithmybaby

    • Salaam

      “Your”

    • LMNOP

      I have a girl, and I didn’t know until just right now they circumcise babies with no anesthetic. That just doesn’t seem right. sadistic.

      • salaam

        lol…if i would have had a girl, i STILL wouldn’t know…i really had no clue…but i swear that rude @ss doctor just made me more anxious b/c he was just so flippant about it…i was like “oh no sir, you are going to hear what i have to say”…

        • LMNOP

          some doctors are like that. So much schooling, so little sense/ manners. always drives me crazy.

    • Kema

      I swear it seemed like another child came back after my son was circumcised.

      • salaam

        you know what…once i got over being salty at the doctor and cried my tears, my son slept right through it….and it never seemed it bothered him at all while it was healing…so i had my mind right when my 2nd son came along…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      The things you learn when kids show will have your head spinning. Both about yourself and about the wonderful world of being a parent.

  • That Ugly Kid

    I love kids. Actually worked at a daycare center from the age of 14 (2004) to the age of 21 (2011). Definitely the funnest job I’ve had. What made it better was that it was the same daycare center I was raised in when I was a little kid. So, I already knew all of the staff there, and the way things worked.

    The hardest part is definitely writing Incident Reports. Kinda awkard trying to explain to an upset parent that while your attention was elsewhere (read: you were flirting with your big bootied co-worker), little Fa’lawnfashawn’Tae tripped and sprained his ankle during an intense game of Duck Duck Goose.

    • nillalatte

      My oldest daughter worked for the before and after school programs. She said doing that was the most effective birth control ever. ;)

      • Phlyy Girl

        “My oldest daughter worked for the before and after school programs. She said doing that was the most effective birth control ever.”

        BOOM!
        I have been having nightmares about how to keep my child from turning into a star on a MTV reality show. I think you just provided me with everything I needed right there!

        • Sweet GA Brown

          MTV doesnt seem that bad…dignity wise.

          • Rewind

            lies.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              Would you rather your daughter cut up on The Real World or on a new version of Flavor of Love?

              Catfish or Basketball Wives?

              Teen Mom or LHHATL?

              • LMNOP

                Who is picking between these options??

                If my daughter ends up on TV, I would prefer her to be a news anchor, not on ANY kind of basketball wives or teen mom show.

              • Rewind

                II pick none because everyone on any of those shows are a bunch of as-sholes to me. They just have different colored faces, weaves, and bra sizes, that’s all.

              • http://www.twitter.com/epsilonicus Eps

                If I had to choose, I would say Real World.

                • Sweet GA Brown

                  See! If I had to choose I would pick The Real World too.

                  • http://www.twitter.com/epsilonicus Eps

                    Real World provides the best opportunity to not look so ratchet. And that is saying something…

      • TiaFromTheBlock

        One of my older brothers – 12 years my senior – had my oldest nephew when I was 11. His girl at the time was a couple years younger than him and was kicked out of her mom’s place. So bro, bro’s girl and the baby ended up living with us for 2 years and of course I was the go to babysitter. When they moved out, my nephew stayed at our place on the weekends. MAN. I love my nephew and he’s actually more like a lil bro than a nephew but Jeezus. That was the best Scared Straight/birth control if there ever was one.

    • mena

      I see you TUK!! I’m feeling the new avi though I do appreciate a nice smile. :-)

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        He changed his avitar 50-11 times this past week. Lol. TUK has way too many pics of himself.

        • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com Malik

          If man wants to take 1511 pics of himself, let him take 1511 pics of himself.

        • mena

          He’s trying to get his grown man on and wondering when is Breezy going to let him out of daycare.

          Breezy still won’t let me take Tristan out.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Lol. Tell Breezy to ease up.

          • Rewind

            Breezy is boss mode right now. Can’t ask her for no favors or she will go 1964 on our asses and hit us with rulers.

            I aint doing it!

  • nillalatte

    Ah, the joys (and torture) of parenthood. I know ALL of them. Been doing this parenting thing for a minute. It gets easier as they get older, but the problems become more complex — and expensive.

    SLEEP!!! This is HUGE. You never really sleep when you have kids until they become teenagers! Why? Because they are like damn rosters when they are young rising with the sun. Even before the sun. I had to psych myself up during the entire pregnancies to accept that I was not going to sleep for at least a year after the birth of each child. I think this is why I take naps to this day.

    Getting sick… a lot. Your kid will bring home every germ known to human existence. Count on it. Germ incubators are day cares, schools and other public places. Kids find germs and they love to share. If you have a low immune system, you will get sick. How do you take care of a child when you’re sick, especially a toddler? Everybody learns to lay in the floor and you build forts with furniture like your living room is a big arse play pen.

    You learn to keep an extra set of keys somewhere! Yo’ kids will lock yo’ arse out of your own house and your car. Then they will some how forget how they did that and you can’t get back in. Which then has you looking like some kinda fool cause your kid was smarter than you!

    My ex-husband took our daughter on a cold arse winter day about 2 miles down the road to take pictures of snow/ice and got out of the truck and left the engine running. Our daughter promptly locked the doors. Negotiations failed. He ended up running a little over a mile back to our place to have me drive back with the extra set of keys. He was an idiot. I was livid. She was lying on the seats, face down, crying. Oh, the stories I could tell about SHITTY parenting.

    • nillalatte

      Moderation. Really? *kicks rocks

    • Rewind

      Thats just all sorts of hilarious

      • salaam

        nope.not.funny.at.all.

        nilla – i know why you were mad, and you were right.

        • Rewind

          How can it not be funny?

          Its one of those things where you panic as it happens but probably tell your kid years later and they laugh at it.

          • http://www.twitter.com/epsilonicus Eps

            My family is that type of family. Every event in our family history, no matter how tragic, is made fun of. You have to do that or be driven crazy.

  • Charlie

    Even more reasons for me not to have kids.