Featured, Theory & Essay

Skinny Jeans And Jordans And…A Gray Hair? Wait…Am I Having A Mid-Life Crisis?

photo (13)I first noticed the gray hair in my beard a couple months ago. It’s on the left side of my face, attached to my jawbone, a barely-detectable dot of silver amid a sea of black. People don’t see it unless I alert them to it. Even then, I’ve had it mistaken for a speck of salt. Because I’m apparently such a violent eater that I splash specks of salt all over my jawline.

It stands alone now. Lonely. But the loneliness is misleading. It is not at the wrong party. Its just the first to arrive at a party that will eventually house hundreds of his twins. Over the next decade, more will come. And in a yet to be determined amount of time — maybe 15 years, maybe 20 — the total gentrification of my beard will be complete. The grays will have staked their claim, erecting Starbucks’ and yoga studios and causing traffic jams with their bike lanes and gallery crawls, while the blacks will never return.

The gray dot is just the latest evidence of the fact that I’m getting older. There are others, of course. I will probably never dunk a basketball again. Actually, let me stop waffling. I will never dunk a basketball again. Never, ever, ever, ever. It is just not going to happen, which makes me sad my hypothetical son(s) will have no proof of dad dunking because YouTube didn’t exist when dad was catching oops. I’ve also had the (mis)fortune of having people who were freshman the first year I taught high school English approach me in clubs and offer to buy me drinks. One asked to dance. I dont remember how I replied. Because my ears starting bleeding. And, I’m someone’s freakin husband now, which means concepts like joint taxes and couples date night and bulk toilet paper have become a part of my lexicon.

Still, I’ve embraced this aging process. One because I have no choice. Either get older or die. Unless you’re Pharrell or Angela Bassett, of course. But also, I feel like I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be and exactly where I’m supposed to be. I couldn’t say that five years ago. Shit, I couldn’t have even said it two years ago. But I can say it now. This might not make much sense, but..it just does to me.

Which is why I don’t completely understand why I’m sitting here typing this while wearing a pair of $200 basketball shoes I’ll never actually play basketball in. Or why I’m also wearing a pair of 511 black Levis, easily the slimmest pair of jeans I’ve ever owned. Or why the last three pair of jeans I’ve purchased are 511s. Or why I — the guy who wrote a 600 word rant a couple months ago that ended with me calling Bobby Shmurda “fucking retarded” — went to a party a couple weekends ago, saw how turned up everyone got when “Hot Nigga” came on, and decided to spend $1.29 of my own hard-earned cash to download it. Or why I still drink juice from the container, despite the fact that my wife hates it and it actually takes less energy to pure the juice into a glass than it does to curl a two gallon jug of oj and steady it so it doesn’t drip my nose. Or why, when the 2015 Chargers finally go on sale, I might attempt to trade mine in for one even though I know it would be the worst financial decision I’ve made since the free t-shirt.

Now, there are three possible — and somewhat overlapping — reasons for this series of decisions. First, I’m a nigga. And since I’m a nigga, I’m prone to do nigga shit and want nigga shit. Like wanting a car with a 700 horsepower engine just to take me from Barnes and Noble to Crazy Mocha to wherever else my writing-ass ass is working that day. I should ride my bike everywhere. Or maybe just want a nice Camry or Acura. Or even a horse. Not something called a Hellcat. But I do (want one) and I am (a nigga) so that’s that.

Also, I do make at least a peripheral effort to stay somewhat fashionable. Especially with suits and shit. And if I left the three button look behind in 2008, I can leave the baggier jeans behind as well.

That said, I wonder if something deeper and more insidious is going on. Although I feel (relatively) young and think I look (relatively) young, I’m a half decade away from officially being middle-aged. (And, as a Black man in America, I’m practically elderly.) I’m closer to 50 than I am to 18. I just might very well be experiencing a mid-life crisis.

I doubt it, of course. I don’t consciously want to be younger. I’m happy with who I am, where I am, who I’m with, and where we’re going. But perhaps a part of me got married, acknowledged it as a measure of grownassness, and tried harder to hold on to a vestige of my youth. And maybe my mom’s death last year has made me more conscious of my own mortality. I remember when my mom was the same age I am now. I have pictures of us together, vivid recollections of how she dressed and what she looked like. I remember wondering if I’d ever be as tall as her, and doubting I’d ever be as tall as my dad. And it wasn’t that long ago. And now she’s gone.

I don’t have any answers. At least not to any of these questions. But I do know I feel a bit too young to be having a crisis, and a bit too old to do the Shmoney Dance. Which places me exactly where I’m supposed to be.

(I think.)

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • LadyIbaka

    Definitely a mid life crisis. #takeheart

    • Damon Young

      thank you, ladyibaka

    • Jay

      Pshaw… No such thing.

  • Neptunes presents The Clones

    Bro,some of the coments on VSB show you aint alone lol. And a certain someone with no love for over 30 year olds probably has you in the crosshairs after reading this

    • Damon Young

      i have no idea who you’re talking about. the vsb community has evolved past my understanding

      • She been here like a year. She still one of the new cats.

        • LadyIbaka

          Who??

          • Rubywhowoo

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              She hates how we keep clowning young cats today.

        • Epsilonicus

          I am lost.

  • IcePrincess

    Maaaaan, I stay up in the mirror analyzing myself, checking for changes or whatever. But I’ve always been neurotic about looks/aging. I’ve been using wrinkle cream faithfully since my early 20’s. Gotta maintain my sexy, na mean?

    • AlwaysCC

      i started using wrinkle cream at 20/21…my sole purpose was to PREVENT wrinkles. it doesn’t make sense to wait to use it when i already have them! lol alas, having children aged me. it’s the eyes…probably due to lack of sleep lol

    • Damon Young

      winkle cream where?

  • Well, I’m OK with being old. I did everything I wanted to do in my 20s. OK, maybe the whole “collapse of a marriage and severe damage to a career” wasn’t a part of the plan. But everything else, I’ve done it. Granted, part of it is because I keep myself in impeccable shape and sacrificed pizza and cheeseburgers for the ability to still dunk and swing for the fences. At least it’s a choice I made.

    I think making a point to grow a beard seems to help. Being thought of as a recent college grad in my line of work when I’m 30 plus is not the move. Oh, and in 17 days, it’s my birthday, and all I want for my birthday is a big booty h0e. There’s also the real possibility that the actual big booty woman I get for my birthday is only a year and a half older than my niece, and she’s way past legal. Considering that I spent my 20s getting more love from Cougars than Jimmer Fredette in 2010, this is a bit of a shock. (I also have a bit of a dating dilemma, but that’s another story.)

    I say all that to say, I’m cool with this aging mess. I also know that my grandfathers managed to live to 96 and 87 respectively, despite the fact the 96 year old managed to make it through childhood without vaccines or knowledge of vitamins. I got plenty of time so long as I avoid accidents and raw dogging. Life is Good. :)

    • Damon Young

      “…Considering that I spent my 20s getting more love from Cougars than Jimmer Fredette in 2010”

      i think you’re the first person ever to use this analogy

      • Thank you, thank you! *takes a bow* I thought of that off the top while typing it out.

  • Shay-d-Lady

    so not long ago. i was invited to a house party by some local musicians that I have been helping out. While there. The DJ gave a shout out to everyone born in 1995. Not to mention. I had to seriously restrain myself from saying “im old enough to be your mother” several times while some sweaty underage bird chest youth attempted to bump and grind me in a disturbing manner.
    it was like that scene from every mainstream teenage movie involving parents, house parties and incredible awkwardness.
    not to mention ive officially reached that period of womanhood where going bra less is almost considered suicide. smh.

    • Rachmo

      Noooooooooot 1995

      • IcePrincess

        Ikr?! #FML

        • Hey, 15 years ago, someone was crying about 1979 being a year for party people. Get over yourself.

    • Give the bird chest youth a chance woman! They have to learn from someone. Why not have it be you? Give the women of the future a chance for better $ex than you ever had. LOL

    • #TeamBirdChest

    • miss t-lee

      Sh*t my nephew was born in 94…lol

    • I was tutoring at-risk youth a few years back, when I played a song. The kids were like, “who’s this, he’s hard!!” It was a Biggie song. #instantsadness

      • Jay

        Prince’s “Diamonds and Pearls” played on my Pandora at work. The 20 something there were like “what the fuck is this weirdness”.

        • miss t-lee

          Oh hellz nah!

          • Jay

            It’s understandable. Some of them were probably conceived to that song.

            • miss t-lee

              True…lol

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          You know what’s weird though? You don’t have to explain Michael Jackson to kids. It’s like automatically covered.

          • You do realize that Michael Jackson never really went out of rotation on American radio. Like every day in every major media market in America, someone is playing a Michael Jackson song. Heck, my daughter knows who Michael Jackson is, and she just turned 5. She was born after Michael Jackson died. LOL

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              You got a point there. Prince is more obscure. Its like a treat when his songs come on. But Mike rules everything.

              • Jay

                Prince > Mike all day errrday. Mike is for the children tho. Mike is universal.

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  I will never participate in this argument. People have died over it.
                  But I will say Prince was clearly more adult-oriented, and not because of the s e x u a l songs, but he just had an edge that wasn’t for kids. But Mike was always the everything man, he had everything covered.

        • Rachmo

          Whyyyy did I just bodyroll so hard.

          Edit: I’ve now listened to the song three times at work.

          • Jay

            Re your edit: to the YouTubes….

        • That just hurt my heart. I remember watching that video on “Video Soul” on BET with Donnie Simpson. I kinda want to punch those kids for disrespect…..#realclassics #yesijustbroughtupvideosoul

          • Jay

            I just remember being about 12 and Prince had just done the soundtrack to Batman. Batman+Prince= the combination of 2 of my favorite things ever so he could do now wrong in my book around that time.

            • Angel Baby

              I remember specifically telling my mom I wanted Prince at my Birthday party when I was around 6 or 7. I thought anything was possible…trust me I was serious! bwahahahahaha

              • Jay

                I liked Mike as a kid, but I vividly remember my uncle’s wife always going on and on about Prince and the look in her eyes as we watched Purple Rain. My young self realized then that THAT was how I wanted to make women react when I got older. Prince will always be THAT dude.

                • Lea Thrace

                  look at your fast little behind…

                  ahead of your time!

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Try explaining Lil Kim for all the Nicki Minaj fans. That was fun.

    • Let the youngin shoot his shot

    • Damon Young

      “sweaty underage bird chest youth”

      this was miguel’s original stage name before he decided to change it

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Bird chest just wanted you to get your eagle on….why hate?

    • nillalatte

      Hahaha… can TOTALLY relate. However, I think the alcohol got me one night while on the dance floor with this 20 something. We got a lil nasty with the bump & grind for just a quick second. I had to the be level headed drunk/mom and stop the madness.

  • Rachmo

    I have a quite a few gray hairs in the front of my head. My first thought? Please let me grow a streak so I can be Rogue for Halloween.

    • PhlyyPhree

      I’ve had that patch since I was 14. Unfortunately, it has now widened to take over a good 2/3 of the front of my head so it is no longer a streak. I’m not sure what other Xmen had two tone hair, but I’m tryna be her

      • Rachmo

        A young Storm/Ororo Munroe?

    • Lea Thrace

      I wish that if I go gray, it all goes. I want to be all white erythang like Ororo Munroe.

      • Rachmo

        YAAASSS

    • Damon Young

      I was thinking Elvira

      • Rachmo

        Elvira is glam, but doesn’t have enough kick a$$ in her.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      I’m buying you gloves. I now refuse to shake your hand.

      • Rachmo

        Hahaha thanks

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Chuckle it up when you put me in a coma

    • LadyIbaka

      Gray hair is sexy as the phakk. But I got questions! Where Nurse Yolie at, someone summon her. Do folks gray like all out down thurr?

      • Yes.

        • Neptunes presents The Clones

          He knows

      • nillalatte

        Ricky is right, and yes. It’s a protein that your body no longer produces as you grow older which makes your hair gray – all your hair.

        • Neptunes presents The Clones

          So women need more protein as they wither to the ravages of time

          • Epsilonicus

            I am sure you are willing to provide it to them.

            • Neptunes presents The Clones

              I have no idea what you are implying. They can swallow protein pills or get those injections that seem popular with bodybuilders

          • nillalatte

            Women? LOL… I think Champ started this conversation with HIS (one) gray hair! While I like men with gray hair, I dislike ones that slam women when they themselves have their own… ehem… shortcomings.

        • LadyIbaka

          Oh mi Lawd! Jesus be a Benjamin button in my life. Amen!

          Yo, where did your eboo disappear too? Remember the Trini one? He was a cutie pie, actually no he was foine. But of course he didn’t and can never surpass mine. Yes you. *wink wink*

          • nillalatte

            I donno mami. They all leave me. All.Of.Them. It’s me, I know it is. I’m just that fly. They can’t hang. BOL…

  • Andrea

    I just heard the “hot ninja” song yesterday. And found out about the Shmoney Dance…Yesterday. I was happy the dance looked something an older person would do. So…I wanna learn to do it. And possibly be somewhere where they play “hot ninja”. But not in Brooklyn. I’m gonna stay away from Brooklyn. And the subways in Brooklyn. Saturday evening my head exploded while riding the Franklin Avenue shuttle. I think I was the only Black person on the train….. at Fulton Street??&!@!!! I wanted to ask someone what year it was? I guess I haven’t been on the subway in a while. I was also like the oldest person on the subway. Are we not allowed to take public transportation? Things change.

    • This is what happens when zoning laws, rent stabilization, BS historical preservation, the idiotic Scaffold Law and draconian construction regulations, all designed to benefit people who dared to rent apartments in Manhattan in the 70s and 80s from facing the slight possibility of neighborhood change, get together to alter the whole NYC Tri-State. But what do I know? I’m a horrible Capitalist. :)

      • LadyIbaka

        Todd, is there a website thst dedicated to the historical blah blah blah of NYC as it pertains to all the aforementioned issues.

        • If I had to pick one, just spend an afternoon on Forgotten-NY.com. While it focuses on neighborhoods that people don’t really think about besides the locals, they do a decent job of the back story of how NYC developed and became what it was for good or ill. Queens Crap is another halfway decent one. Most of my knowledge just came from living in and around the city my whole life.

    • I was visiting NY last month staying with a friend. We’re riding the Q into Manhattan to go to this club. We were the oldest people on the train by at least 5 years. We’re both early 30’s. It was an eye opening experience….LOL

    • Damon Young

      And found out about the Shmoney Dance…Yesterday. I was happy the dance looked something an older person would do.

      it is a simple dance that doesnt take much effort to learn. and it also kinda makes you look like pei mei

      • MsSula

        When James Harden busted the Schmoney Dance after receiving the World Championship trophy, it was a wrap. :) It was a “VSB taught me that” moment.

      • Jay

        How ironic is it that we “older” people talk about learning to do the Shmoney Dance when you could walk into any “Grown and Sexy” club in the country at any moment and see multiple doing it. It’s a dance black folks have been doing for years. It’s just got a new name now.

        • miss t-lee

          This is so real…lol

        • Rachmo

          Yeah that’s how my uncle dances

        • Andrea

          Your right!!!! No wonder…I was like… That does feel very familiar!!! Duh?!!! That is what my Dad is ALWAYS doing lol

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        We’ve all done that dance since we were kids. That’s what’s funny about it being popular now.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Wait wait wait…YOU WERE IN MY HOOD THIS WEEKEND? Dude I live 5 blocks away from the shuttle.
      I could have told you we’ve been whitefied. I could have shown you my block and introduced you to my French neighbor who owns her brownstone but uses it as a hotel for people visiting from France.

      • Andrea

        Next time! The French folks sound fun!!! I was just so overwhelmed this visit. I feel like it is a little different just walking around. Maybe the compactness of the subway makes it feel more like a… pardon the expression… “infestation”

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Indeed. You need to get a good look around the area. All the bars, restaurants, clubs, lounges, craft shops, pet stores, and organic grocery spots they have. I grew up here as a kid then moved to Flatbush. I can point out buildings that used to be crack houses that now charge $1700 for a one-bedroom.

          In the words of Bigge: Things done changed.

          • Neptunes presents The Clones

            Not the crack houses

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              All the crack houses.

              • Epsilonicus

                I knew my old neighborhood changed when folks started walking designer dogs out at 11pm at night.

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  I swear life aint right when a thug with 2 warrants is out walking a poodle or shitsu during midday.

    • cakes_and_pies

      The dance does indeed go with everything.

      http://youtu.be/LaPMoTgYYk4

      • Lea Thrace

        hot damn it really does.

  • menajeanmaehightower

    I find myself being very aware of mine and other people’s ages. It’s weird that it matters so much to me now.

    • Damon Young

      it’s not weird. you’re just old

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Like steam engine old.

        • menajeanmaehightower

          Aren’t you and i the same age? Stop playin.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            You have an old soul. Hence why I fancy you.

            • menajeanmaehightower

              I know i do. I’m that old woman on the front porch giving kids cookies and lemonade after scolding them for misbehaving in school.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                With or without the big ole granny booty? Cause the granny booty ladies gave the best cookies.

                • menajeanmaehightower

                  Depends how age interferes with my metabolism and gravity as well.

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    You are soooooo literal.

                    • menajeanmaehightower

                      I can’t help it. I’ve been an old soul since i was 4.

      • menajeanmaehightower

        No, i’m not!

    • Wild Cougar

      Yall obsess to a degree that baffles me. I don’t get it.

      • Jay

        Right. I decided a long time ago that when I get old… then I’m old. I want my age to completely blindside me, and it has in some ways and I’m fine with that. But what I WON’T do is think about it all the time and let it impede me prematurely.

      • menajeanmaehightower

        It’s the feeling that you should be accomplishing things by a certain age and understanding that you are getting older. I don’t want to be young again and love the way that my life has progressed. Doesn’t mean I’m not still aware of my age.

  • miss t-lee

    Mortality is so serious. I’m now two years younger than my Mom was when she died. With every grey hair that sprouts up (currently 4) I’m reminded of exactly how old I am, but in the grand scheme of things how young I still am.
    I ain’t much concerned about the greys, they’re here to stay, but making sure I moisturize is top priority. Gotta keep the wrinkle free game on lock.

    • Damon Young

      yeah, that mortality thing is a bitch. especially when you get to the age where some people your age have actually died from natural causes.

      • Jay
      • RewindingtonMaximus

        My neighbor’s son died from lymphoma on Christmas 2012. He was only 37. That’s not a long way to go for me. And it scares me when I’ve been sick since I was 15. I don’t know how much gas my body has to keep fighting this fight. My wife hates it when I tell her that I won’t always be here…but its the truth. I won’t.

        • Jay

          Tell me about it. I actually had Lymphoma when I was 19. Chemo for 18 mos. It’s hard not to think that every ache and pain means that it’s back as I get older. Then I feel like a silly hypochondriac when it turns out to be nothing. Catch-22… Spend all of your money and energy on tests that could reveal nothing, or let the disease sneak up on me… again.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Same here. I’m going through it right now with my insurance company because they don’t want to pay for a specialist I found to do a surgery on me. I have no extra money to pay and now I’m gonna have to be a wizard to pull this off, because fronting for the last 2 years like nothing was wrong almost broke me.
            This life…its something else.

            • Jay

              Never knew. Hit me on Twitter if/when you need to talk to someone about it.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                You know….I never got on Twitter but I think I might try now.
                Keisha Brown is gonna get me for this.

            • Andrea

              They make you pay to die. And Pay A LOT.

              • Jay

                So sad, so true.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                Indeed, my wallet is screaming that fact every day.

          • Andrea

            Do you have any good tips to get your mind off of the aches and pains?

            • Epsilonicus

              Alcohol and good friends.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                Yes. But more alcohol. Occasionally blazing as well.

            • Jay

              I try to stay positive but because it happened before, positivity feels like denial. It can lead to some really dark thoughts if you let it.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                It does. You become cynical eventually, which is actually more helpful than being positive, but then people misconstrue everything you say.

            • Lea Thrace

              I watched a lot of comedy before and after surgeries. Anything that made me laugh was the best medicine for me. TV, movies, friends. all of it.

              BTW. Ran across your youtube channel a while ago. Been meaning to tell you that you have been added to my list of s-heroes. Keep doing the damn thing lady!

              • Jay

                Link? If she’s ok with it that is. Been meaning to start my on YouTube Channel.

              • Andrea

                Thank you very much! You are too kind!!!

        • LadyIbaka

          Stop telling her that. Once is enough. Death is scary. We know it’s going to happen, eventually but no need to keep reiterating the fact.

          • Jay

            She’s right. I get it though. It’s hard to be fair to others about your possible mortality when YOU are the one who is actually going through it.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Exactly. I’m the one with the pain, I’m the one who notices the differences each day I wake up, and all I can do is just say “hey, I’m not sure what will happen”.
              Besides…no matter what is said, no one can predict what each day will bring. Here today, gone tomorrow, and yesterday didn’t even happen. Life can be that quick, so even if people don’t want to think about it, it exists regardless.

            • LadyIbaka

              Jay if we are married and sick, you don’t think I don’t know the possibilities? I do know! I just don’t want to constantly hear them. YOU are sick, I am your wife! I walked that aisle for a reason till death do us part. I cannot feel the pain, but I’m in pain because you are in pain, there is no need to increase both our pains with doses of reality.

              • Jay

                Once again, you are right.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                I get that. Maybe in my mind, I’m good at numbing out my emotions, so its easier for me to deal with what’s coming. Perhaps not the same for you as a wife.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            I’m not trying to, but she fantasizes a lot about the future, and I keep telling her that we anything can happen. So if you plan for one thing, plan for the other just in case.

        • nillalatte

          None of us will. I tell my kids the same thing. I want them to realize the value of life while we’re together and enjoy it.

          why tip-toe through life
          To arrive safely at death
          I’m on a journey
          Yeah, I’m on a roll
          Sometimes gotta close my eyes
          Just to open my soul

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Ooooh yea Nilla knows the good stuff.
            You’re right. I just want us to enjoy life and live each day as carefree as we can. No regrets. That’s all I want.

      • miss t-lee

        Indeed.

    • Rachmo

      This morning I left my home, started driving to work, realized I had forgotten to moisturize my face, and turned right back around punctuality be damned.

      • miss t-lee

        So crucial.

      • Lea Thrace

        I keep the spare toiletries in my office. It’s costly since I go with the expensive skin care products but I cant play that dry skin game. Got too much to lose.

        • miss t-lee

          Once you’ve had the good face products, you can’t go back.

          • Lea Thrace

            Man. Never go to a dermatologist. They have that good good. I went there once like 5 years ago for a minor scalp issue. Came out with free skin care samples. Been buying their in-house products since. Their ish is like crack for my skin.

            • miss t-lee

              Too late.

              • Lea Thrace

                Our bank accounts may be decimated but our skin shall be flawless dammit!

                • miss t-lee

                  Easy, breezy, beautiful. ????????

                • LadyIbaka

                  Yap. And that’s why we can sing, I woke up like dis, #flawless.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Be careful if you stop using it for a prolonged time. Some of those products have additives in them that make your body crave the product, the same way Proactive works. So you’ll either break out or have a bad reaction, which forces you to buy the same products again. So pay attention to what you’re using to be sure.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Sesame seed oil. Trust me. You only need it once a day, dries very slowly and doesn’t make your skin oily. Repairs your skin too.
        Trust me, I’m a skin expert by now with all my health problems.

        • Rachmo

          I’ll definitely look into that!

        • Val

          I used to use Neutrogena’s sesame oil. I use pure cocoa butter now.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            That’s a good one but it is diluted. Its very light, so I had to find something stronger.

        • nillalatte

          ? Is that a special formula because I can’t imagine smearing sesame seed oil on my face. I cook with it. But, then olive oil is used in other cultures for ‘lotions’ too. Humm… I’ll have to read up on this one. :)

          • miss t-lee

            I use sweet almond oil on my face, olive on my hair.

          • Jay

            I rub tomatoes on my face to exfoliate and moisturize with milk… then I go eat red meat, lift weights, and do cat calls on the street.

            • LadyIbaka

              How sexy are you? Like soooo totally!!

            • nillalatte

              O_o okaaayyyyy….. LOL

              • Jay

                RNS tomato makes your skin glow.

                • IcePrincess

                  Cuz acid.

                • nillalatte

                  New and interesting things learned. It’s all good.

            • Neptunes presents The Clones

              That last part saved you lmao

          • Neptunes presents The Clones

            Word to Iggy

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            There is a difference between the oil meant for your skin and the oil you cook with. The oil you cook with has preservatives, so while you could put it on your skin, it won’t be as affective. But…extra virgin olive oil…the real natural stuff..yup you can use that on your skin and cook.

            I use Standard Process Sesame Seed Oil. It comes in capsules that you break open and rub on your skin. My sister just had surgery under her arm, I’ve been applying it to her scar and its healing up well.

            • Lea Thrace

              I used standard process vitamin E after one of my surgeries where the scar would be visible. Man, you cant even see the scar these days. Fricking magic in those little capsules.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                It is. All natural. Never knew how important it was to find natural products because everything else is literally killing us slowly. I can’t go back to the stuff I used to use now.

                • Epsilonicus

                  Most of my house cleaning products are all natural.

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    Keep it that way, works better for your lungs.

                • Kema

                  Ever try coconut oil? It’s antifungal, antibacterial and antiviral. I use it for everything now! Skin and main source of dietary fat.

    • Moisturization is key

      • miss t-lee

        Indeed.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Smooth as butter you will be

      • miss t-lee

        Amen.

    • Jay

      Moisturizing your insides is more important. Water water and more water.

      • miss t-lee

        Trust, I’ve got that on lock, as well.

      • Jay

        There’s a dirty joke in there somewhere…

        • Lea Thrace

          I’ve come up with a least three…

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Somebody call a plumber

    • cakes_and_pies

      I’m concerned about “Turkey Skin Elbow” I hate seeing women with elbows that look bumpy and look like spent pencil erasers. I moisturize religiously, but the elbows get extra extra care.

      • miss t-lee

        See the elbows don’t bother me. Everyone has their something though!

  • A couple years ago, my dad was sitting around in the back yard. He goes on to start talking about my mom buying this “nasty tooth paste”. Apparently she bought it because it was on sale and my dad is not bout spending money. So apparently during a teeth brushing session he just stops. “I’m 55 years old, Im brushing my teeth with whatever G-Da#n toothpaste I want.” He immediately goes back to the store and buys some Crest. 22 year old me doesnt get that story. 30+ year old me with the wife, kids, house, and 2 cars TOTALLY gets it. Its that point in a man’s life where I do stuff for NO other reason other than “I feel like it”.

    • PunchDrunkLove

      “I’m 55 years old, Im brushing my teeth with whatever G-Da#n toothpaste I want.”

      This was funny….

      • LadyIbaka

        I guess that’s the beauty of aging, phakks keep getting deleted , minused and eventually eradicated completely.

        • Angel Baby

          LOL TRUE… I just wrote about this the other day. I said the older I get the less I give a **** and it scared me but I accept it…LOL

    • Damon Young

      Its that point in a man’s life where I do stuff for NO other reason other than “I feel like it”

      this is true. this explains the drinking from the jug.

      • Epsilonicus

        Drinking from the jug is never out of style.

      • Angel Baby

        Alright so I guess I’ll get really personal for a bit…

        I think I went through a “mid-life crisis” at the age of 21 when I was about to graduate from college in 2005. My twin cousins were very concerned anyway bwahahahahaha It’s just when I grow through a major life change – I retreat from people to really focus on what I’m trying to accomplish (whether that be an attainable goal or emotional transition). I think I went through another “mid- life” crisis at the age of 27 when my divorce was finalized in 2010. I traumatized my family and friends that year and then retreated until I was ready to join the world again after a few months. Now at 30 almost 31 in a couple of weeks I won’t say I’m going through a “mid-life” crisis but this year has been emotional as **** and I started retreating again a month or so again. I was in a surreal state of mind in April/May after three aunts passed away, almost losing my older bro, and my ex-husband showing up at my house (after us not speaking since 2010) wanting to talk and telling me his mom and bro passed away. Then once I realized I might be in love with my best male friend and we can’t do anything about it and having a cousin pass away in Sept…..
        Let’s just say I have reached the emotional vulnerability tipping point again!!! My whole attitude the past 10 yrs has gradually been changing to F*** IT I’M GOING TO LIVE AND DO WHATEVER THE F*** I WANT! Of course because I’m NOT morally bankrupt or emotionally retarded there are certain things I won’t allow myself to do bc I am grown and have a heart. But once so much life gets thrown at you….just SMH.
        I love where I’m at in life though. I have a lot of family that I watch so I won’t make the same mistakes. I’m living and learning from my own. And I don’t ever want to go back to redo them all over again. So, yeah growing up has it’s twists and life struggles that make us “keep it real” for whatever is real to us. And guess what? F*** whoever doesn’t understand and do you!!!

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          All that goes to show life was always showing you something, but you weren’t always aware of what it was. Looks like you do now though. Good luck out there.

          • Angel Baby

            Thanks Rewind.
            Oh and Champ…. I got my first gray hair this year too. I think it’s beautiful! I have to point it out for people to notice it as well, but I’m kind of proud of that thang! LOL

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Anytime.

More Like This