Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured

Seven Remarkably Simple-Ass And Cheap-Ass Tips For Men Having Trouble Meeting Women

There have been a few pieces on VSB recently that some of our readers felt were kinda hard on and/or insensitive to “good guys” who legitimately have trouble meeting and interacting with women. Namely, Panama Jackson’s “Dear Black Men:Black Women Always (Always!) Show Up To Events. Why Don’t You?” and a piece I wrote Tuesday on Ciara and Russell Wilson. “Good guys” is in quotes, again, because the definition about what makes a guy “good” in this context often just comes down to “hasn’t done anything outwardly criminal, and believes this entitles him to Paula Patton.” But I’ll concede that, despite whichever numbers/ratio inequality that would seem to suggest otherwise, there are legitimately good dudes out there who consistently run into brick walls when attempting to meet women. With that in mind, I’ve decided to offer some remarkably simple-ass and (relatively) cheap-ass tips — seriously, this is some Fisher Price-level shit — that can and should help.

Oh, and before we continue, let me be clear that these will not be tips on how to talk to women, how to get phone numbers from women, how to have sex with women, how to get women to take you to Red Lobster, or how to convince women to co-sign on car loans. You’re on your own with that.

(Also, this is advice for straight guys. And the women I’ll speak of when I speak of women today are women attracted to guys.)

1. Smell good

It’s usually wise to stay away from gender-based universalities. Because people are different and shit. And different people like different shit. But unless there’s a cadre of female shitphiles out there I just haven’t encountered, I can confidentially say that every single woman I’ve ever met appreciates it when guys smell good. “How does that help meet women?” you ask. Well, “Having women enjoy being around you” is a very good way to “meet women.

Also, please note that “smelling good” and “actively not smelling bad” are not the same thing. Just because you don’t smell like a dead squirrel stuck in a zombie’s esophagus doesn’t mean you smell good. Find a scent that works for you and rock it and shit.

2. Leave the fucking house

If you are single and you happen to live by yourself, this (probably) means there are no women at your house. And also that, if you want to meet these women — who, remember, will not be at your house — you have to leave it at some point to do it.

3. Work out

I’m not suggesting this for aesthetic purposes. (Although those matter too.) But if you’re in better shape, you’ll start feeling better about yourself. And your clothes will fit a little better, your stance will be a little straighter, your step will have a bit more pep, and your chest will stick out a bit more with that walk. And while none of these are surefire solutions to help you meet women, this shit aint going to hurt either.

4. Update your wardrobe

There is such a thing as too trendy. Basically, you never go full Westbrook. But it wouldn’t hurt to thumb through a GQ or an Esquire or even the thousands of style-based Tumblrs and Instagram pages out there and grab some tips.

5. Find a way to maximize the you-est you possible

It’s not uncommon on lists like this to find suggestions advising people to cut down or just give up certain hobbies thought to be woman-repellent. And yes, by “certain hobbies thought to be woman repellent” I’m totally talking about “gaming.” Now, I’m not much of a gamer myself. I haven’t played an actual video game since 2001. (Once it got past Playstation, I was done.) But I do know enough about them to know that women play video games too. So, if you’re really into gaming…go to a gaming convention. No, there won’t be women in your basement. But I’ll bet you’ll meet some at the convention center. And the same goes for other hobbies and/or interests you might have that seem to limit your interaction with the opposite sex. If you’re into tech shit, save up one year and make a trip to SXSW. If you’re into obscure film, go to Sundance. And, if you’re into R. Kelly, go to church. (Not because there’s women there, but because that’s where you need to be.)

6. Host a game night

I know, I know, I know. “Leave the fucking house” seems to contradict this. But I suggested you leave the house because there are no women there. If you host a party at your place, though, women will come. And yes, if you happen to be reading this and happen to be Black and happen to live in a city with at least 27 Black people, I can 100% guarantee that people will show up to a game night you throw. Because unless you happen to live in New York or D.C. or on one of Diddy’s yachts, if you’re Black and you want to hang out with other Black people, you’re used to having your night life options limited to “that pseudo bougie place that’ll make me wear a fucking blazer to get in even though they let Anthony Mackie in with a white t-shirt and some Vans last week” or “that hood place with the great wings and the parking lot shootouts.” And, since this is true, “there’s nothing else to do tonight, so I guess I’ll hit up Matt’s thing” happens all the fucking time.

Also, if you’re a person who happens to be introverted and/or socially awkward and the thought of having a bunch of people at your place gives you chills, consider this: If you’re the one hosting the party, you’re 1) in control and 2) automatically the “cool” one. You can decide what food to serve and which games to play and which bathroom people are allowed to use and when they have to go home. You also have a built-in excuse to talk to and introduce yourself to women who happen to be there, and being “the guy throwing the party” automatically makes you 15% cooler than you’d usually be.

7. Rock a witty t-shirt

If you’re a guy reading this, and you happened to purchase one of our I Love Bougie Black Girls t-shirts, raise your hand. Keep that hand up if you’ve ever had a woman stop you in the street to ask where you got the shirt. Or stop you in the street to compliment/and or laugh at it. Or stop you in the street to take a selfie with you. Or stop you in the street to give you a 400 word screed about why she’s not Bougie.

You see all these hands, guy who has trouble meeting women? (I know you can’t. But trust me. There are a lot of hands up.)

And if the Bougie thing isn’t your speed, guess what? There are dozens of shirts out there — shirts with funny slogans or fictional Black colleges or names of Black activists and obscure Black history facts and characters played by Clifton Powell — that would produce the same response. And, they’d provide the added benefit of signaling that you’re witty or cool or clever or corny (not a bad corny, but a self-aware corny) without you actually having to do anything other than give $15 to Teespring.

Remember, these are just some simple-ass and cheap-ass tips. If you try them and they don’t work, don’t expect a refund.

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • I wanna get a “Who Made the Potatoe Salad?” t-shirt

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      You gonna post it on The Gram when you do?

    • Kat

      I want two

      • Great for cookouts!

    • Kas

      Is the misspelling intentional?

      • It isn’t a misspelling. That is the ACTUAL TITLE of the movie. With Clifton Powell of course.

        • Kas

          And I sit corrected and learn there is a movie I need to rent. Is it any good?

          • I can’t bring myself to look. I remember a post not too long ago. I think a lot of folks said they saw it. And it wasn’t that awful.

        • Quirlygirly

          It wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t that good either. I found it watchable but not over and over again. one and done

  • Agatha Guilluame

    “Host A Game Night” is solid advice. And make sure people get the memo to bring other ppl otherwise it’ll just be you and Craig and the cat.

    • Aly

      I’m 100% sure that at least two people from my last game night hooked up.

      • Breezy

        Don’t out anyone.

        • Aly

          Of course not.

          • Breezy

            *wink*

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        So….i’m invited to the next one correct?

      • Lea Thrace

        Where was my invite tho…. -_-

    • TJ

      Game nights are the truth.

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      Hosting a party is after you’ve gotten the one on one solid. He needs to go to every non club house party and play in the little leagues first.

      Hosting a party ain’t even pro level, that’s franchise ownership status.

      • Agatha Guilluame

        Why we always gotta disagree?

        I don’t think you should overthink a spades night. You just need people, cards and liquor. And let someone hookup their phone to the speakers. Done.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          So,……your house on Friday right?

          Ok everybody, Aggie is having game night. Shoot your email to her for the address.

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            Y’all all are invited to my game night, but umm, you have to get on a transatlantic or pacific flight, so umm…#downsides.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              #VSBInternationalGameNight

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          He needs to have the social skills yo have folks come through in the first place.

          His boys might slide through, but the womenfolk he knows ain’t moving wash and set night for this thirsty dude who just more want to get social.

          The ladies that do roll through come with their boyfriend and the one chick in the crew who ain’t never have anything to do (for a reason)

          And then the host tries to make a move on ol girl knowing she reneged in the last game. All eyes on them…. even always lonely Lana is gonna have to be really feeling ol boy to give up the digits in front of an audience who’s gonna be dm’ing non attending parties on the low.

          And Torrnekia if you reading this, I’m sorry for putting you in a spot.

          • LadyIbaka

            You are a mess.

          • Breezy

            LOL!

            • Agatha Guilluame

              #factsonly

              “Torrnekia” don’t have a clue.

          • Tambra

            Yasssssssss on social skills. But I guess uncouth is the new etiquette.

            • Brooklyn_Bruin

              Grooming is baseline.
              Social skills and awareness, then learn to flirt…

              These tips are the tip of the iceberg sweater

              • Tambra

                Where have we gone wrong?

              • TheCollinB

                Fam you just went 5 for 5 from behind the arch!

            • TheCollinB

              nice guys are no different than women with “list. Delusions of grandeur have overcome them. If you got the girl you felt like you deserved you’d be too insecure to keep her.

              • rhymeswithbrucelee

                Preach

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            This aint even a scenario, its a screen play.

            • Brooklyn_Bruin

              Honestly having been the “nice guy” and then getting my head straight, a lot of nice guy issues go beyond the cosmetic.

              I remember one cat I was rapping with said something about making 100 large and these chicks wasn’t recognizing. The nerve, the gall of these chicks…

              Aside from the obvious math failure, a=b but b!=c…There was a deep entitlement. Because he worked hard and played by the rules he DESERVED at least a low budget Beyonce,like when she was slumming with Mos Def.

              The other nice guys have other sorts of math deficiencies as well. These ladies will tell you.

              • rhymeswithbrucelee

                Ummmmm what? No. So they didn’t swoon at a hundred G’s that maybe they did or did not hear about? If they did swoon then cats be mad too. You mention entitlement on their part, but I also hear entitlement on your part. Apparently a hundred G’s should make the panties drop??? Meh. Yawn. And not because of money, because of arrogance. Bish please. ANDDDDD since when is Mos Def slumming…..Mr. Nigg*

            • Enatiomer

              Exactly …

          • Ess Tee

            Why are you like this?

            • Brooklyn_Bruin

              I seen fire and I seen rain

              • Ess Tee

                *sigh* And now I have this song stuck in my head, complete with twang.

                • Breezy

                  Me too.

                • Londa

                  So did I. It disappeared once I sang, “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” a few times. I’m thinking about watching Mary Poppins now. But, that’s better than ear-worming the song that shall not be named.

              • porqpai

                Even the fact that you managed to ear worm me made me laugh. I should hate you for that, but I can’t, cuz you made me giggle da mm it

          • Agatha Guilluame

            His boys might slide through, but the womenfolk he knows ain’t moving wash and set night for this thirsty dude who just now want to get social.

            For any guys reading this, don’t let the fear that no one will show up (or that no girls will show up) deter you. Sometimes, with these kinds of things, it’ll get popular over time.

            So for the first game night, it may just be you and a couple folks but make sure to Snap it and look like you’re having the best time. The next time you host it, it’ll be a few more. By the time it’s an established regular thing, you’ll have more people than space.

            So give it time if you’re not a social butterfly or if your social circle is limited.

            • Brooklyn_Bruin

              She gonna turn you into Mr popular and you’ll watch Crazy Rell run off with every Delta (grad chapter) that comes to your flat.

              @Rell, sorry I missed the baby shower,

              • Agatha Guilluame

                1. You don’t need social skills to have folks come through. Because no one is expecting Great Gatsby to greet them at the door in tails, while sipping a screwball, with witty banter at the ready. You literally could only speak in “head nod” and still have the event be lit.

                2. You should never borrow trouble, so don’t let Bruin’s deep deep deep DEEP social scars prevent you from putting yourself out there.

                3. Back to my original point. Have a game night and don’t overthink it and remember to tell ppl to bring ppl.

                • Brooklyn_Bruin

                  Sitting there with two unopened packs of Uno cards.. Sipping straight out that vodka handle instead of the Grey Goose that you filled it with.

                  • Jennifer

                    You have a story on your heart, don’t you?

                    • Brooklyn_Bruin

                      When do I not have a story? Lol.

                    • Jennifer

                      I am specifically fishing for THAT story. lol

                • Kas

                  I don’t want no trouble and I’m new to these boards so be kind, but how does a guy who has problems meeting women, have the social werewithal to put together a game night with single women in attendance? Asking for a friend.

                  • TheCollinB

                    Just do it. Don’t think about it.

                    • Kas

                      I’m happily married or so my wife tells me. I just wasn’t following how the logistics would work.

                    • Breezy

                      LMBO! Whatever your wife tells you you are YOU ARE.

                  • AnswerMe

                    Could be as simple as starting out with his friends already in relationships. The women can invite some of their friends…simple as that. I’m going to a game party this weekend but it’s the opposite, I’ll most likely be the only single person there among couples.

                    • Kas

                      I will tell my friend.

                  • Agatha Guilluame

                    Does the guy have any friends at all? Any family? Or did he just sorta materialize in a corner one day adult-sized?

                    • Kas

                      There is no friend, I was joking about that part.

                  • Furious Styles

                    When in doubt, Meetup.com

                    • Jennifer

                      Meetup is the truth.

                    • Wild Cougar

                      Meetup is SO slept on. I made most of the friends I have now when I moved to the city through meetup. You don’t have to be a social butterfly, the organizer will introduce you around and you’re instantly part of the group.

                    • Egnimatic_Foolishness

                      Really? I’ve had it installed forever but didn’t see enough interesting people of color to partake of it for non job related functions. What type of groups have you met people in?

                    • Wild Cougar

                      Really depends on the group you choose. Pick groups that are based on people of color. Like every other social media platform, your experience depends on your participation.

                    • SororSalsa

                      It may not be your thing, but your local salsa meetup is one of the best places to meet people of color. In DC, we’ve had more black people in the salsa scene than Latinos at times. Americans, Africans, Caribbean, etc. And it’s diverse, so I’ve met some really interesting folks there.

            • kid video

              This sounds like how Hennypalooza started.

          • DBoySlim

            And Torrnekia if you reading this, I’m sorry for putting you in a spot.

            I don’t know why this made me laugh.

          • TheCollinB

            #BucketList
            Having a house function that’s equal parts Biggies “One More Chance” video and Janet Jackson’s “That’s the Way Love Goes” video.
            I’m going out a legend.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              I might also add one part Janet Jackson – We Go Deep, one part Snoop – Gin & Juice, and one part Sean Paul – Get Busy just for the ultimate bashment.

              • Quirlygirly

                Now that sounds like a party to me!! Got ya RnB, hip hop and reggae

            • Me and my roomates threw one of these after our thesis presentation in grad school. It was epic. The liquor flowed. The playlist was epic. We fried chicken. A few young professors showed up. Somebody got it poppin in the bathroom upstairs. I danced with the woman that eventually became my wife. People actually danced. We blew a speaker. The police showed up twice. The house was a disaster the next morning. There were denim stains on the wall from people grinding. Seven years later, we still remember that party.

              • Nik White

                Lovely!

              • Mildredkgriffin3


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        • Quirlygirly

          I agree sometimes all people need is a place, a game and some food. The rest will work itself out (if you got the right people at the party)

        • Amber

          Right and if a woman is into him the next time he hosts a party she’ll tell him that she’ll bring food.

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          I’m in my 30s and can’t play Spades. Smh. I gotta up my blackness.

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            People who learn late are the best (not as partners but in love for the game once they get it…)

            • ChokeOnThisTea

              Why I can’t be a partner? Why you “Spades-shaming” me, Che? Lol

              • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                lol..cause you gotta get good before I risk getting set with you…I appreciate your love for the game but if you reneging accidentally every other hand, I’d rather be appreciating your love from afar….

        • Jeremy Gordon

          And if you’re using the phone speaker thing, get the paid Spotify account. because nothing ruins a vibe more than a commercial for Progressive Car Insurance.

    • TeeChantel

      Yes.

  • TJ

    7. Simply exist
    8. Not be an axe murderer
    9. Only scratch your balls behind closed quarters

    • Two out of three ain’t bad… trust me.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      #10…listen…until you have them..you just don’t understand that itch

      • TJ

        Is it a lack of moisturization? Serious question.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          In my mind, it’s tiny space aliens having a shoot out on my b a l l s and missing heavily, like the A-Team.

          I honestly have no clue though

        • Val

          *stops when noticing TJ talking about miniaturization. Then upon realizing the context hurries away*

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          As a moisturization adept, I can tell you it’s not that. They are constantly expanding and contracting and regulating heat and have copious blood circulation right near the epidermis. They are made to itch, buzz, a just generally bother at the slightest touch of fabric .

          Thus my head investment in really comfortable boxer briefs.

      • Tambra

        Are you stating ladies don’t have bits that itch too?

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Different kind. Won’t fight yall about the itch, it just needs to be handled.

          • Tambra

            So its a comfort thing then?

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Soooooooooooooooooooooo comforting. OH MY GOD.

              The bag is so sensitive. Any relief is the best relief.

              • TJ

                Unreading is so hard! It’s probably instinctive.

                • Tambra

                  I know. Immediately I saw a big sweaty brute in wife beaters and a couple beers lying around ,with the hands going 100 miles per hour and things flying…sorry :(

                  • TJ

                    Are we talking scratching or the other thing? LAWD.

                    • Tambra

                      Now, I CAN’T unsee, but I meant the scratching.

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    Overactive imagination aye? Good stuff.

                    • Tambra

                      YUP!

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  Such is life. There’s stuff you women do that will always make me want to stab myself in the eye but that’s just what yall gotta do.

                  • TJ

                    Lol! What do women do that make you want to go without eyesight?

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Struggle to walk in heels NO ONE asked them walk in when she knows she can’t walk in them in the first place. That’s a fun one.

                    • TJ

                      Women just want to be sexy, but yes…folks should practice first. lmao.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Be sexy all you want to be….at home…alone…where no one can see you fail horribly.

                      Outside? Stick to your quality points.

                    • Quirlygirly

                      HAHAHA! I used to call this one lady at my job drunken master cause she was all over the place when she walked but she manged to get down the hallway without falling down.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      And yet I’d hate to see an x-ray of her spine cause I know that joint is twisted

    • Re: #9
      This is true. I’ve thought plenty a negative thing about a guy I was seeing but could always take comfort in the fact that he had not yet been outed as an axe murderer.

      Re #10
      Guys don’t even try to hide it is my thing. Like if I get a wedgie, I at least take a few long strides to try and work it out. I don’t just go to grabbing.

      • Quirlygirly

        “I at least take a few long strides to try and work it out. I don’t just go to grabbing.”

        This is because you have couth!

        • Tambra

          Well class is class, and some people just ain’t got none.

      • Jennifer

        “Re #10

        Guys don’t even try to hide it is my thing. Like if I get a wedgie, I at least take a few long strides to try and work it out. I don’t just go to grabbing.”

        Exactly! Or you ride the wall for a second like you just got to the bashment party, but haven’t found anyone you wanna dance with yet. There are ways to take care of it.

  • Janelle S

    Addendum to #5: Guys. I’m married to a gamer. He achieved his dream of attending E3 at least once, he goes to CES almost every year, he stood in Times Square to buy a Nintendo Wii at midnight when they went on sale. (Okay, ignore that last one, that’s not the point…)

    The ladies at the conventions–the gaming and comic book conventions–who are paid to be there are not your targets. “Booth babes” are putting in a hard day’s work. (Those shoes are no joke.) They aren’t trying to check you out. I mean, I’m not going to stop you from shooting your shot, but I am pointing out that when a woman is at work for probably not a lot of money and in probably not a lot of clothes, she probably gets a lot of nonsense from unwashed jokers and you don’t want to be That Guy.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      The harassment they endure…ugh….those are the times when I think all women should invest in tazers.

      • fxd8424

        My daughter has one and used it once on a guy harassing her. She said he went down like a wet noodle. LOL. She saw him the next day and he apologized, said he was high. I have one too, but have never used it.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Honestly I feel like it should be mandatory, if not for the fact that some women would get too antsy with it automatically. But yea, some dudes just need to get put down in order to get it right. Your daughter came with the force on that one.

    • Never be ‘That Guy’.

      • Kas

        Never, ever

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          Always be ‘this guy’ , though….

    • Illumina

      Your comment reminds me a lot of what female cosplayers have to endure. Yeah don’t want to be THAT GUY to them either. If you’re at a con, always ask their permission before snapping pic of them.

      Also, if you are going to engage them, at least attempt to strike up a conversation about their costume.

      • Janelle S

        And not one that involves quizzing her to see if she’s really down. If she bought a ticket to the con, she’s down enough.

        Which reminds me that I have to get my stuff together for C2E2 this weekend :)

        • Illumina

          Right. That ‘who’s a real geek girl (woman)’ s h i t gets on my nerves.

          My area cons are coming up in May (Space City Con) and June (Comicpalooza). Then there’s my now annual pilgrimage to DragonCon in Atlanta Labor Day weekend.

          Have fun this weekend!

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            I would love to go to DragonCon one day

    • AquaTeamV3

      The ladies at the conventions–the gaming and comic book conventions–who are paid to be there are not your targets. “Booth babes” are putting in a hard day’s work. (Those shoes are no joke.) They aren’t trying to check you out. I mean, I’m not going to stop you from shooting your shot, but I am pointing out that when a woman is at work for probably not a lot of money and in probably not a lot of clothes, she probably gets a lot of nonsense from unwashed jokers and you don’t want to be That Guy.

      Yeah, from what I’ve seen, circles that involve gaming/comics tend to draw in the thirstiest (and smelliest) dudes on the planet. They tend to get a lot of attention because guys are like, “hey, we share the same interests, I think I’ll hit on her”, when the truth is the lady they’re approaching is wayyyyyyy out of his league. And yeah, if she’s working as a ‘booth babe’, that just isn’t going to happen except in rare cases; she’s paid to be there. It’s in the same zone as flirting with your waitress or cashier at the grocery store.

  • United_Dreamer

    “And, if you’re into R. Kelly, go to church. (Not because there’s women there, but because that’s where you need to be.)”

    There’s always one gem in there. Well played.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Won’t be no clapping in the name of love that day.

  • TJ

    11. Join an intramural sports team. My teams have created many-a-relationships and many-a-secqing.

    • Ari

      Isn’t that the truth! Something about intramural sports (or any sport for that matter) brings out the raw vulnerable attractiveness and sincere camaraderie in everyday people.

      • TJ

        Agreed. And these are situations where folks are being their raw selves. No dressing up. No hair. No makeup. Just playing.

        • Ari

          I always tell everyone who will listen that I met my guy at a weekly black tennis meetup. Had it been in any other setting, I definitely would have passed him by. Sports allowed me to get to know him for who he really is and vice versa (although my workout outfits got a little cuter, I started wearing waterproof mascara and replaced my glasses for contact lenses once I started catching feelings lol).

          • TJ

            It is a good setting to really know people, especially since you can’t just pass ’em by. This is your teammate! But yes, even with the intramural sports…you got to be decent. I only wear contacts, because I broke my glasses during kickball. Lol.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          I would take that over a club any day. Why meet someone TRYING THEIR BEST when you can see someone AT THEIR BEST AND HAPPY?

  • brothaskeeper

    What I’ll be wearing to game night….

  • Kat

    Yea…these is very Fisher Price..if a grown man in this day and age has to be told to smell good. See this is why we as a people can’t prosper.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Please tell that to some people here at my job.

  • NomadaNare

    You forgot the most important tip

    Dont live in a city where there are no black people or where you dont like the black people

    Its hard to find black love in Salt Lake City Utah and Im not judging but if youre uncomfortable with Chief Keef its a bit unlikely youll find your true love on Chicagos South Side (although Hyde Park may be your thing)

    • Furious Styles

      Dont live in a city where there are no black people or where you dont like the black people

      This a thousand times. You can’t work the room if you don’t like the room.

  • RewindingtonMaximus

    Nice one Champ.

    Just got to say this. I am a nice guy. But not the version that exists now. As Champ says, the version that exists now hasn’t done anything outwardly criminial, but believes they deserve Paula Patton. That special brand of male entitlement that exists because you’ve been curved since you were a teenager but never really told WHY yet hold on to it like a baton in a relay race while 10 pitbulls who haven’t eaten in 72 hours chase you because this is my analogy and I’m kind of sick in the head.

    All I know is only maturity helps dudes move past it. You’ll have to learn on your own what you’ve done wrong, and that you keep putting emphasis on the kind of women you had no business chasing, glorifying, and exempting. Which basically means GROW THE FUCK UP. And fast.

    Because if you don’t, you end up doing things like this

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B40qXv6x3_zrUlptNkV6ZHMyX19lWnZKcEt4d1hFV2pfeVBF/view?usp=sharing

    I wrote an article about this picture a while before and due to the nature of the picture, it wasn’t a good look at the time. But in this context…you people can clearly understand what kind of a person made this image.

    If yall want to read what I wrote to it, here

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B40qXv6x3_zrd2twVjhwU05qUGsxLWZQNTlnNjV1UEZheVN3/view?usp=sharing

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      For those that can’t see the picture

      • Tambra

        I am not even going there…

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          My point exactly. It should never be this bad.

          And yet it clearly can be.

    • I like that “we are all we have” line.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Thank you love.

        It’s true though. Never considered it until I got wiser, but no woman would understand my big black guy struggles quite like a Black woman could.

    • Furious Styles

      Fascinating. Never have I ever heard a black woman I know say “I don’t need no man”. It’s always from a certain black man doing his “impression” of a black woman.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        I’ve heard it quite often in my lifetime…only to see those same women buckle under pressure.

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        I’ve heard it…and seen it acted out. Doesn’t change the demographics..there are still a wideeee percentage of women out there who do and would deal with these dude if they stopped it and got their young-ass (maturity wise) out there and stopped fronting.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      I second. It’s about maturity. I was a nice guy too….when I was fraking 18 years old.

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