Not So Anti-Climatic: Signs that a woman is getting that “good good”

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****Check out “Professional Jumpoffs & Ex Love,” this week’s edition of “Ask A Very Smart Brotha” at Madame Noire and see if you agree with The Champ’s advice****

Along with “Who really shot Kennedy?“, “Is there intelligent life outside of Earth?“, and “What in the everliving f*ck is going on in Lebron’s head?“, “How can you be completely certain that a woman has climaxed?” is a question that seems to have no right answers; a query that causes at least 72% of all male angst and has lead to countless sleepless nights, dozens upon dozens of divorces, and several wars (What? You’re telling me you didn’t know that the Trojan War was just a contrived ploy to finally get Helen to squirt?)

While many have their theories, there really is no concrete data; no definitive and full-proof determination of a woman’s orgasm. Well, let me rephrase that. There is no definitive and full-proof determination of whether a woman is prone to orgasm, except, of course, the way she walks.

From The Frisky

According to a group of sexologists from the Universite Catholique de Louvain in Belgium, you can determine with 81.25 percent accuracy whether or not a woman has had a vaginal orgasm at some point in her life. How you, ask? By the way she walks. Researchers found that women who had experienced vaginal (not clitoral) climaxes were 80 percent more likely to walk with longer strides, greater pelvic rotation, and with leg muscles neither loose not locked, a “gait that comprises fluidity, energy, sensuality, and freedom.”

Now, whether these findings are the result of correlation or causation is unclear. You can easily make the case that women who “walk with longer strides, greater pelvic rotation, and with leg muscles neither loose not locked” just have a more confident and self-assured stride. And, since these women are probably just more confident and self-assured in general, they’re more likely to orgasm during sex.

Either way, the fact remains that this study proves that the little tidbit of advice you’ve heard from every hood barber, black uncle, neighborhood playa, pimp, and ex-con grandfather was correct: You really can tell how good a women’s p*ssy is by the way she walks.

Anyway, the “sexy walk” is just one sign that a woman is getting that good good. Here’s a few more.

At least one of her friends wants to sleep with her man

Even if a woman doesn’t necessarily advertise her perpetually broken back to her friends, the hyper-alert senses that most women possess will alert them to it. It’s almost as if they can smell it on her, like she’s wearing a special “Drenched Knickers” scent from Bath and Body Works.

If these friends happen to be black, there’s at least a 119% chance that they’ll be single, and a 2225% chance that one of them hasn’t had a quivering thigh since the series premiere of “The Closer” and wouldn’t mind sampling her man’s goods.

She’s gets an inordinate amount of male attention

You ever wonder why certain women always seem to get attention from men, wherever they go and whoever they’re with? Well, let’s just say that women aren’t the only ones who can sniff out a “sexually adept” chick. Even if we don’t realize we’re doing it, men tend to gravitate towards women give off the “I enjoy sex just as much as you do. Maybe even more” vibe.

This, btw, is exactly why I give the exact same advice to any woman who asks how to get more men to approach her when she’s at the club. Make sure to masturbate before you go out. (And, if you really want to increase your chances, don’t clean up afterwards either)

She seems to always wear skirts and dresses

Maybe “free” and confident women are more likely to wear skirts and dresses, and this freeness and confidence transfers to the bedroom. Maybe it’s a subconscious way of advertising her sexual health. And, maybe she always just needs some direct oxygen to air it the hell out. Either way, there seems to be a strong correlation between “woman who’s always rocking a dress” and “woman who’s had her bottom hit in the last 48 to 72 hours.”

I realize this assertion is completely anecdotal and unscientific, but I’m pretty certain what your answer would be if I asked you “Which woman looks like she’s having good sex on the regular?” and forced you to choose between her

and her

Anyway, people of VSB.com, do you agree with the study? Do you think that a woman’s walk can give away whether she has regular orgasms?

Also, can you think of any more signs that a woman is getting that “good good” on a regular basis?

The carpet is yours.

—The Champ

Please help keep Panama off the block and The Champ on the wagon and buy “Your Degrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime”

508 thoughts on “Not So Anti-Climatic: Signs that a woman is getting that “good good””

  3. If she’s getting the good good then she’s giving good brain ;) her lips don’t look like Angelina Jolie’s cause she’s getting collagen injections, it’s because she’s getting “injections of sublime erections” and gives as good as she gets

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  7. While I agree with your “walk” theory I would say you can’t really tell by the way we dress. In my case, I work in a conservative environment but you BEST believe when my back is more loose than normal I might dress like woman #1 but on the inside I FEEL like woman #2 and I SWITCH my hips like no other.

    Also, I know this is completely stereotypical but whatever. Women with men who serve as their chiropractors are happier and less stressed than those going through droughts. My b*tchy manager was as sweet as honey nectar for a full WEEK after her new Brazilian beau gave her a taste of the “GOOD GOOD.”

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  8. I so agree on the male attention part. Not so much on the other ones.

    However a woman that appears relaxed and cool 93.3% of the time is getting served properly.

    Another telltale sign she’s getting her ladybird lavished on is if her man is a Que.

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      • I cannot personally attest to any Que abilities, but I do happen to know that Kappas ain’t called nasty Nupes for nothing.

        They also will have you burning up cars and sh*t but that’s another post entirely.

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      • “Regarding the Ques- it’s not an act.”

        Yes it is. They “act” like they know what they’re doing.

        They don’t.

        ….so I’ve HEARD……

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        • Lol I’ve “heard” the opposite ;) Did you get one of the few bad ones, or did I get one of the few good ones? Who wants to do that experiment? ;)

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          • I’m thinking you got one of the few good ones.

            What I hate is the ones who LOVE to eat pu$$y but aren’t good at it! :(

            That’s like me claiming that I love to cook and my food taste like a$$ (it doesn’t, btw)! Eventually a person is just going to say…you know what, I’m good…I don’t want none!

            ….so I’ve HEARD….

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            • How can you NOT be good at it? I’m really confused, seriously. Don’t use your teeth. Don’t spit. Use your tongue and fingers. Vary pressure and suction. Listen to her responses and watch how she reacts to what you’re doing. Rinse and repeat.

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  9. If you’re wearing a dress it’s easier to hike it up, pull the panties down and get straight to business. No fumbling with pant legs and shoes and stuff.

    You walk funny ’cause someone recently blew your back out, and your stuff aches so much you can’t keep your legs together.

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  10. Oh yeah, you get big props for the Ohio Players album cover image. As a young boy growing up, I knew that if I got caught staring at one of my uncle’s Ohio Players vinyl covers too long, I’d get popped in the back of the head…I still did it though, just with short strategic glances.

    Pouring honey on a woman doesn’t seem like a good idea in real life doe.

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    • So, my dad used to have those album covers and I used to hate them. LOL!

      But, the actual band made some jams. “I Want To Be Free”, “Rollercoaster of Love,” “Heaven” and everyone’s personal fave, “Skintight”…all classics!

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    • Oh yeah, you get big props for the Ohio Players album cover image. As a young boy growing up, I knew that if I got caught staring at one of my uncle’s Ohio Players vinyl covers too long, I’d get popped in the back of the head…I still did it though, just with short strategic glances

      you really can’t go wrong with 70′s album covers. i actually had a bunch of them framed and in various places in my old living room, but they just kept falling off the walls

      Reply ↓

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