as you all already know, panama jackson and i are smart as hell. we’re super smart. very smart. uber smart. we’re to smart what ray j is to condoms. we’re to stupid what southerners are to soap. if “being smart” was “discreetly becoming more and more irrelevant” we’d be aubrey f*cking graham. if ken norton was mandingo, then we’re twin, ummm, mand…smartgos.
but, despite this ubiquitous smartness, there’s a multitude of sh*t i still haven’t completely figured out yet, and here’s some of it
why some black people can’t say “nigga”
now, i’m not referring to black people who’ve never had nigga as a part of their lexicon or those who’ve said nigga before, but have stopped saying it for some personal or political reason. no, i’m talking about the black people who say “nigga”, but, for whatever reason, just can’t say it.
you can’t exactly place it, but you just know that something about their nigga saying game is completely faulty because it sounds so forced, awkward, and unnatural coming from their tongues that you always notice when they’re saying it, like a seven year old saying “sh*t” for the first time. and, when you hear it, you’re always tempted to stop them and ask “wait…hold up. did you just call me a nigga, nigga???”
why paul pierce always looks like he got his haircut six days ago
while some have perfected intentional scruffy and others stay with the clean look, paul pierce is the only ninja i’ve ever seen who always looks like “its saturday and i haven’t been to the barber since tuesday”, and i have no idea how (or why) he does this
the female orgasm
some shiver, others shake.
some squirt, others hurt.
some cum, others can’t
some cry, others lie.
some scream, others sheen (ok. i know sheen doesn’t make any sense. i just needed something clever to rhyme with “scream”)
some get off when “spots’ are hit, others, well…i just read that g-spots aint sh*t.
like i mentioned before, knowing that mostmany women themselves have no clue about the female o provides a bit of solace, but can’t ya’ll provide at least a little consistency here? damn, we don’t ask for much.
how to react when free sh*t abruptly ends
for a year or so, a manager in one of the departments on the third floor of my building at work would buy five giant boxes of dunkin donuts every monday, and place them near the elevator for whoever happened to stop past the floor. sometimes his secretary would even send out a mass email to each department reminding everybody about them. as word got out that this was a weekly occurrence, everybody in the entire building started to look forward to donut day. offices started planning staff meeting times around them (no manager in their right mind would schedule a staff meeting on the morning of donut day, unless he wanted a full mutiny), and one guy (supposedly) met his now-fiancee for the first time when they argued over who would take the last boston creme.
then, one monday, no donuts. then, another donut-less monday comes and goes. and another. and another.
thing is, although we were all shocked and disappointed by the sudden death of donut day, we were even more flabbergasted by and confused about how to respond. i mean, we were in the bitching and complaining mood, but how exactly do you bitch and complain about somebody ending some free ass sh*t?
are you even allowed to be upset about that? what can you possibly say to admonish someone who all of a sudden decided to stop spending 120 bucks a month to provide your greedy ass with frosted mini-crullers? if a black blogger tells a long-winded pastry story with a weak punchline in the woods, would you leave a comment?
what to do when you’re out with your girl and this…
…walks past
i mean, you can’t stare, but you can’t not look either. in my opinion, the best tactic is to just make a snarky remark about her (“haha. wow babe. look who just robbed the ass store” usually works) so that now both you and your girl can look at her and snark at the same time.
anyway, people of vsb, i need your help. can anybody help me figure this sh*t out?
also, is there any sh*t that you very smart brothas and sistas out there just can’t figure out?
the carpet is yours
—the champ
I can’t say the term for which ninja is sometimes applied…and I damn sure don’t let anyone refer to me as such. I’m on that, “What did you call me son?” type mess. I have a name…and a few nicknames (Princess, Sunshine, and I have no idea why)…use those.
I would look…hell I DO look…and point it out to my boys. Apparently they are some selective mess though because we were out last friday and one goes, “Yeah, but her grill is busted and she’s not worth it.” I thought the pursuit of ass was above everything else *kanye shrug*
@Siobhan, Your friend might say that the female is busted ,but like you said the ass is above everything else. Don’t let him lie to you he’d hit it no questions asked. Most men would eventhough they have taste they might let a busted one come through every once in a while. Don’t be fooled.
@Just X,
I was with an entire group though son…one goes: “Did you see her” I go: The one with the ass? D goes:” Nah son, I saw her face, she’s busted.” All six of them turned their back on her. I was like, “What?”
@Siobhan, i’m with your boys. a busted grill and face always trumps booty for me. face is face. you can’t get rid of it. it will always haunt your dreams.
@Panama Jackson,
Agreed. A fatty may warrant a look, but face trumps that.
@Panama Jackson,
this is true. face trumps booty, but booty usually inspires more double takes and intrigue
@The Champ,
Face trumps booty if you’re trying to wife somebody up. But, for late night wrestling, a booty is more important.
My pops taught me that what you do is check out the fine broad while she’s still far away from you and your girl. You get all your oogling out of the way before your girl even notices the other broad ’cause most likely you’re girl isn’t paying attention to her surroundings and is talking to you about some BS.
Then, when the fine chick comes close to y’all, you give her a quick glance, like you would any other normal person walking past you, and then you keep it moving. That way you’ve already indulged yourself, but your girl thinks you aren’t checking out other chicks. If you avoid looking at the girl completely, then your girl will become suspicious because she knows that’s abnormal.
On the free stuff tip, man, that’s a tough one. I’ve been trifling enough to complain about the selection of free stuff, so I don’t have good advice.
Also, Kevin Durant has thePaul Pierce disease. Check it out.
@Big Man,
Also, Kevin Durant has thePaul Pierce disease. Check it out.
he definitely does, as well as the “i got my haircut, so that means i dont actually have to brush it” condition
@Big Man, so mad that your dad put you on to oggling game….smh..LOL
@Klysha
He knew that I was gonna look, and he just wanted me to be safe.
Kind of like teaching your child the proper way to put on a condom.
@Big Man,
There is no such thing as a man checking out a female before we notice her. We can spot a woman that our man would be attracted to from a mile away, and TRUST we always notice her before you do. We pretend not to see her, all the while checking your reaction to her. I believe its only natural for people to look when they see an attractive individual. My man has permission to look as long as he does not stare and he is not disrespectful.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL, so you need the total package…or a decent body with a nice face. I suppose that makes sense because you have to look at her.
@Siobhan,
I can’t say the term for which ninja is sometimes applied…and I damn sure don’t let anyone refer to me as such.
stop playing, n*gga
@The Champ,
What’d you call me son? I’m violent with my friends. Don’t think I won’t do a take down to a scarf/arm-bar
@Siobhan is cute! lol
@Chris Black,
That is an unusual reaction to my personality. Thank you!
“Why is Jadakiss as hard as it get? Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in debt?”
@Monk,
I’m waiting on Anthony Hamilton to come in on the hook…lmao
@miss t-lee,
I’m not. Ha!
@Monk,
why you be on the corner with a “why lie? i need a beer” sign
i haven’t figured out:
when the “building” from the “building fund” offering at church will actually be built. it’s been collected since before I was born (im 25) and still no ground has been broken.
what part of “reality” tv is actually reality.
how it’s hard out here for a pimp. Seems like it’d be so much harder on the ho.
how ‘sheen’ rhymes with ‘scream’ better than cream or stream.
(maybe that’s just the rapper in me on that last one)
*sidnote*i’m new to the site but I love it so far.
@slash, welcome!!
@Liz, Why thank you. I fully expect to see a decrease in my productivity at work as a result.
@slash, Oh just tell them “you’re not a slacker, you just have a different lifestyle”
-shout out to a very VSB
@slash,
when the “building” from the “building fund” offering at church will actually be built. it’s been collected since before I was born (im 25) and still no ground has been broken
I was in a Catholic boarding school in high school, where we had to attend mass a total of five times a week. During every service I attend, in my four years there, they always had a first and second building fund collection, and from what the alumni told us they had been having the same collection for 10plus years….last I heard nothing has been built yet. Graduated eight years ago. I think building fund is a catch all for any money churches need to raise.
And the only part of reality tv that’s real at this point is the people (I’m going to assume they use actual humans and not autobots) and maybe the buildings, perhaps. Although, for all we know the buildings, trees, cars, etc are all CGI.
@slash,
It is hard out hear for a pimp because the majority of them live blow job to blow job. Pimping is a job that requires you to wear many hats, you are a security guard, accountant, life coach, psychiatrist, sex therapist, agent, and in many cases chauffeur. These jobs also must be done 24/7. Tang is always on the clock, and a good pimp never lets a dollar slip. Ya dig?
@Legendary Dash,
thought about changing my career to pimping…the field is very demanding. but…to possibly go from being a sole proprietor with one employees to a small business with 30 to 40 employees…is very tempting to say the least.
@atltx,
The pimp game, when done right is rewarding, but presents a lot of metaphysical challenges. A lot of junior pimps find out that they do not have the steel resolve, and cold heart to keep their scroll inline. It takes a special breed of man to maintain a strong pimp hand.
@Legendary Dash @atltx, I on’t know why ya’ll got so much to say about pimpin… erbody knows pimps can’t type (or read).
@atltx, @Legendary Dash,
I’m done with bof a ya’ll. Only on VSB can you have a very thoughtful breakdown on the economics and business acumen required in pimpology.
Don’t forget chef, these garden tools gotta eat. Gotta regulate that diet.
@Stank-0,
Don’t forget chef, these garden tools gotta eat. Gotta regulate that diet.
This has me kilt.
@Legendary Dash, thanks for that breakdown. i was gonna provide one since people obviously don’t realize how difficult it is out here pimpin’. i mean that sh*t literally is a 24/365 job. plus, it aint like you can just tell your hoes to write down their complaints and issues. they ain’t the best writers. i mean, this can really go all day…
@Panama Jackson,
Most of the shadow economy jobs require way more work than the average square can imagine.
How funny would a pimp’s employee suggestion box be?
@Legendary Dash,
dude…all i know is hard work…honestly believe that i can change up the game…without attracting the wrong type of attention. it’s a few niches out there that need to be serviced.
might give it a try depending on how a few things develop over the next couple months…the lame in me kinda gettin weak for a recent blast from the past…plus a nucca got a decent job. just want a porn studio…the only other way into the adult entertainment business is opening a strip club. That shat looks wayyyy too messy. I can pick and choose who is serviced and the employees don’t get worn out as quick. Gotta think this through…
@Legendary Dash,
Yep. There’s not too many square jobs where if you get arrested, your boss posts your bail for you and such. And one definitely can’t just pimp for 8 hours a day and leave like a regular 9 to 5. A pimp must be a pimp and remain pimpish ALL day.
@Legendary Dash,
You are KILLING me over here!!!!
@slash, “how ’sheen’ rhymes with ’scream’ better than cream or stream.”
OK, bc I was like “sheen Champ? Really?”
@slash,
how ’sheen’ rhymes with ’scream’ better than cream or stream.
(maybe that’s just the rapper in me on that last one)
lol, thats called “i need to hurry and finish this entry before the pitt/georgetown game comes on”
Why Fefe Dobson sings better then Rih Rih, but Rih Rih gets all of the spotlight. smh I listened to Fefe Dobsons first album today and realized that Rated R is just a remake of it… ::sigh::
Please excuse my random angry moment.
I guess to better fit with your blog I’m going to say that I still haven’t figured out why Kobe is such a diva and drama queen during games??? He sashays across that court better than any queen I know. Oh lord, please don’t bump into him… he might cry… ::cold stare:: ::rolling eyes::
@Buxxy,
Music like men (or women, whatever you’re into) is all subjective. See I personally think Fefe is like a black Avril Lavigne…whom I can’t stand. I don’t like Rihanna either but HolyGuacomole there is something about her that’s just arresting, like she’d buy you a drink, roofer it, take you to a cheap, sleazy a** motel, do some kinky borderline humiliating stuff to you, steal all your money and car keys and leave you butt naked for house cleaning to find. She seems a little bat s**t crazy, which is oddly hot, where as FeFe seems like a suburban teen going through her rebellious stage.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
::taps mic:: I like sticks
But anyway,I hear you and maybe we just have to agree to disagree, but Fefe would probably give you that fantasy (and add a chick in the mix) before Rih Rih. I don’t know, take a scroll through Fefe’s timeline and then Rih Rih and tell me who was the inspiration for who… even down to the same tatts. Now thats freaky. I don’t like avril either so no argument there, but Fefe is different and she can really sing which is very rare in the music industry lol.
@Buxxy, between Fefe and Rih-Rih, i’m going with February’s Own Beat-Down every time too. there’s just something about Rihanna whereas Fefe Dobson just doesn’t really resonate.
It’s sort of the same way that Res will always have my heart despite that Santogold wrote everything she’s done and sings just like her. I’d just prefer Res singing her songs.
@Panama Jackson,
Rhianna totally jacked Nelly Fertado’s voice. And I really wish Res would get her just due props.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I’m a woman of 25 years, and aside from a free body shot I did on my friend in college, I’ve never been interested in any kind of sexual interaction with another woman,but OMG the things I’d do to Rihanna and want her to do to me…::sigh:: on that note
@JumpOnIt,
I hate to ruin your fantasy but….Ri-Ri has herpes
Its clearly visible on the left side of her upper lip. Google image any face photos of hers and you can see it. She uses herpes colored lipstick to try to hide it!
ROFLMAO (probably why CB lost it)
@thinkaboutit,
The above comment was for Buxxy
@thinkaboutit, “She uses herpes colored lipstick to try to hide it!”
Bwahahahaha! too funny
@thinkaboutit,
“She uses herpes colored lipstick to try to hide it!”
LMAO
Really? I must have missed that color the last time I was at the Clinique counter.
@thinkaboutit,
“I hate to ruin your fantasy but….Ri-Ri has herpes”
do you use milk or orange juice when you decide to wet your blankets?
@The Champ
Do you use Valtrex or Famvir to hide yours? Old head
@ofloveandotherdemons,
She seems a little bat s**t crazy, which is oddly hot, where as FeFe seems like a suburban teen going through her rebellious stage
***nodding head***
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Why is that SO true?!
@Buxxy, I love Fefe. She was supposed to have an album out last October but to no avail…I wonder what happened with that…
@KaNisa, nobody wanted it, so they shelved it.
@Panama Jackson,
Nah homie A LOT of ppl want it. W, the faith and true fans, still wait and are ready to support. But I hear what you are saying. I lisen to both chicks, but Fefe is still better.
@Buxxy,
Nah homie A LOT of ppl want it.
to most, 173 people doesnt qualify as alot
@Buxxy,
I am glad people really are starting to notice that about Fefe and RiRi. Fefe really had her own vibe when she came out and it was different because you really didn’t see women of color in punk and she can actually sing. It’s just the record industry monster at it’s best.
@ComicBookGuy,
I’m glad (and actually a little surprised) that people in general are noticing FeFe Dobson again. Loved her first album and even bought it to show support. Since we went to public school together.
*mumble*nowsheactlikeshodonknonobody*mumble
It’s unfortunate that no matter how good a Canadian R&B or Hip Hop Artist is, they never seem to get their due.
@Herself,
I got major love for the T. Dot. I used to watch the MuchMusic channel all the time, because, you know, they played music, unlike MTV. I liked how they played all kinds of music and showed love to Canadian artists like Fefe, Kaos, Kardinal Offishall, Our Lady Peace. They don’t get their due because I love music out of Canada.
@Buxxy,
guess to better fit with your blog I’m going to say that I still haven’t figured out why Kobe is such a diva and drama queen during games???
because he’s a b*tch. duh!
@Buxxy, speaking of Kobe…how does he shine up an image from spoiled asshole to almost rapist to appearing on Sesame Street…do NBA rings really mean that much to the public?
You can def. complain about an abrupt end to free sh*t. I’m thinking that the routine nature of the provision of free sh*t, coupled with the e-mail notification encouraging you to partake, created justifiable reliance on said free sh*t. Plus, everyone knows black people love free sh*t so providing it on a regular basis and then snatching it away is just cruel…haven’t our people suffered enough?
Oh and sh*t I haven’t figured out yet: the appeal of Jersey Shore. I love my share of mindless reality TV, but wtf?
@Acacia, Reality shows rot your brain and they’re not real!!!!, but i have to have my Housewives of Atlanta and thats it.
@Acacia,
Jersey Shore is genius, my friend. You get a show that not only entertains you with all the pure f**kery that we love from reality TV, but gives endless opportunities to feel superior in every possible way to some one else, in this case the guidos and guidettes, teaches you a new language, all the ways to be classy and most importantly how not to be classy (in case you want to go down that road), all which improves one’s self esteem and reduces the s**t factor in your life by 10%. Plus, speaking for myself, where else I’m I going to get the chance to observe the social, economic and mating habits of a walking and breathing Italian American stereotype. I think they need to do a similar show for all ethnicities in this country. I would love to see the reality tv lives of Armenian Americans for example, they could call it Glendale Drive. I’d watch it.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
You must be from Los Angeles if you know it would be called Glendale Dr (Ahahahah) or maybe Brentwood
@Acacia,
I don’t understand the fascination with Jersey Shore. I tried. I made it through 5 minutes. I could not watch the guy refer to himself as “the Situation.” WTF? I didn’t get it. But then again, I knew I wouldn’t when I saw a commercial and the orange girl described herself as a “guidette”.
@Acacia,
“You can def. complain about an abrupt end to free sh*t. I’m thinking that the routine nature of the provision of free sh*t, coupled with the e-mail notification encouraging you to partake, created justifiable reliance on said free sh*t. Plus, everyone knows black people love free sh*t so providing it on a regular basis and then snatching it away is just cruel…haven’t our people suffered enough?”
Reminds me of Jackie Chiles. Champ, maybe you should retain Acacia file that class action and get those reparations.
@Acacia,
Oh and sh*t I haven’t figured out yet: the appeal of Jersey Shore. I love my share of mindless reality TV, but wtf?
jersey shore is appealing because it’s f*cking awesome.
btw, this…
“You can def. complain about an abrupt end to free sh*t. I’m thinking that the routine nature of the provision of free sh*t, coupled with the e-mail notification encouraging you to partake, created justifiable reliance on said free sh*t”
…sounds like snitching, and niggas who can say nigga don’t snitch
@Acacia,
Oh and sh*t I haven’t figured out yet: the appeal of Jersey Shore. I love my share of mindless reality TV, but wtf?
What she said.
@Sula,
I can’t wait it because Snookie looks like the white Li’l Kim before the plastic surgery and there are quite enough of those JS types round these parts already thank you! But I do love it because it shows that despite the WASP facade the 2520′s would love you have you believe represents them best, in sheer numbers the JS types and the trailer trash outnumber them by a mile. Thus, we have dumbass rednecks who will vote against a health care bill most likely to benefit their dumbasses the most. now that’s something i can’t figure out…
Someone once told me that they couldn’t say nigga because when they say it they sound like a white-person had said it, so even they get offended.
@Invisiblemannakedcity,
because when they say it they sound like a white-person had said it, so even they get offended
*Snort* that would be me. Plus, I don’t think foreigners can say it. I hate when anyone uses that term, but I definitely give my fellow internationals a worse gas face then the natives when they use it.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I am with you on that. I don’t say it, because it sounds all kinds of weird… I often don’t get the point of the word… so yeah, I’m good. I will say ninja in a minute though.
@Invisiblemannakedcity, yeah, thats pretty much why i get offended. i had a friend in college (at an hbcu no less) and the first time i heard her say it i was immediately offended and had to take some time to calm myself down. it just felt wrong and dirty.
@Panama Jackson,
“it just felt wrong and dirty.”
this is exactly how i felt after that weekend at cheekies
@The Champ,
O____O
Champ, I curse you with a paper cut upon your upper lip.
@Panama Jackson,
Same situation at big state schools too. At one point I was a very casual about it’s use. When I got to school and heard Cubans, PWT and other non-blacks saying it liberally , I actually got sick. The second wave of consciousness to make me cancel it out of my vernacular, at least when in the company of certain people, was when I was actually teaching. The kids referred to each other as ninjas so frequently, I’m surprised it wasn’t each of their first name. I couldn’t honestly sit and act like it wasn’t disturbing, yet there were other teachers who were real non-chalant about it like it was the norm. I find it just great that our kids will refer to themselves as ninjas before accepting being called “young man or woman.”
Then again…this world for the last 20 years has been “the introduction to the opposites.”
My first apartment I enjoyed free cable for a good year and a half. I’m guessing the former tenants forgot to call and disconnect the line. Then one day, I come home late from lab or work or general day-wastinging, grab the remote, turn on the tv and ….nothing but static. I swear I went through all five stages of grief. So I can definitely understand the conundrum over the free ish.
Any how 10 things I don’t understand (current 10):
1. The Situation from Jersey shore-I don’t get the name. What’s the situation, good/bad? Is it a question, a declarative statement?Should I be concerned? And sort of related, how do his housemates, the men anyway, wash all that hair gel off? Ooooh, and is anyone else slightly disturbed (not in a good way) by The Situation’s abs?
2. The tongue in the ear move that 75% of the men I’ve dated employ. Seriously, is there a 25move handbook that guys get, and are required to use only the positions/techniques from it, no deviation? Plus, the tongue in the ear ever works for anyone out there?
3. Speaking in tongues. As someone brought up by a Protestant mother in Kenya (the capital of tongue speaking congregations), I’m just going to say that ish scarred me for life. The convulsions didn’t help.
4. Why the eff NBC cancelled Law and Order: Criminal Intent, but freaking SVU is still running. Come on…..seriously, how, how, how, how, how, how? Detective Goren, he is a cushy, genius, teddy bear. And who the h**l is the new DA woman? Although, Christopher Meloni is some serious eye candy, but still…
5. Facebook status updates. I’m not sure why Zuckerberg and co. thought that a necessary addition to the site. I don’t have friends interesting enough for me to need daily (or God forbid, hourly) updates on their lives. Similarly, why the mommyeffingh**l is the network updated/configured/some similar web related term changed every 2.5 weeks? And why am I so hooked on it? Why, Lawd why?
6. Why does a tattoo (black and gray, not color) the size of my very tiny, tiny palm cost $300 plus dollars? That’s not even from a very good shop; no, the $300 tat is from the shop right above the Natural Holistic store that sells incense, cowry beads and goji berry smoothies, that’s run by the white dude with dreads and suspiciously red, bleary eyes.
7. Why am I still hearing about Heidi Montag (spelling?) and ilk? Don’t reality stars have a contractual max fifteen minutes of fame?
8. Leno over Connan; massive fail NBC. See point 4 for other silly decision making
9. Mmmmh, is there a definitive definition for a ‘hip hop head’ or can anyone that stumbled upon a Common/Mos Def/Tribe called Quest/Talib Kweli/ et al video deem themselves as such? Also have the all knowing powers that bestow this title to the lucky multitudes, mandated that one must utter above claim with a smug sense of superiority, and utter it repeatedly and obnoxiously in any venue where one or two black men are gathered?
10. Why some people seem to get f***ed in the A** by life repeatedly, eg. People in Haiti 7.5 quake last week, 5.9 aftershock yesterday, not to mention the country wasn’t exactly flush with cash before, and some others sail through life with little or no obstacles?
@ofloveandotherdemons,
A couple of things. I need those facebook statuses. Most of them are useless but every now and then someone puts something up there that is totally, if not unintentionally, funny and it makes my day. And facebook statuses, and to a greater extent twitter, are like the news. It’s to the point now where if I hear something I immediately check facebook to make sure other people are hearing the same thing. I think I might hate myself for that last sentence. Moving on…
I don’t know why tattoos cost that much. What I wonder is how can these 18 and 19 year olds afford to be tatted up like A.I. I don’t understand where the money comes from.
@A-Town Genius,
You are definitely right about the unintentional humor of some of those updates. It just doesn’t happen enough times to make up for the constant eye rolling I have to do when I see c**p messages like ‘Sue thinks Tommy is the best thing since marshmallows.’ Ten minutes later, ‘Sue just ate a marshmallow.’ And in another ten, ‘Sue wonders why they are called marshmallows? They are not marshy or mallow-y.’ One hour later, ‘Sue and Tommy broke up.’ Another 3 minutes, ‘I can’t go on. It hurts too much.’ Ten minutes on, ‘Insert random inspirational quote.’ One hour later, ‘I am woman hear me roar. What won’t kill me blah, blah, blah.’ Seriously, Sue need to off herself or stop updating. We know the former has a better chance of happening. I do have a friend that does something similar. Maybe, I just need new friends all together.
Right, where are these high school kids getting money for a full sleeve. What is that, 2K or 3K work of ink? And you can’t tell me they’ve been collecting it over the years. They are 18f**king years, at best they’ve had 2 years of legal tattoing on them. I’m just jealous, thats all.
@A-Town Genius,
“It’s to the point now where if I hear something I immediately check facebook to make sure other people are hearing the same thing.”
Real conversation I have with my mom this week…
Mom: What happened to Johnny Gill? Did he get into a car accident.
Me: No he didn’t. Where’d you get that from.
Mom: Bingo. Everyone was talking about it.
Me: It’s not true. He’s playing at a MLK concert tonight.
Mom: How do you know?
Me: I saw it on Twitter. Plus, if he did get into an accident, I’d know cus I follow New Edition members on Twitter. They woulda said something. And it’s not on Facebook either.
Mom: Oh
FML!
@A-Town Genius,
i can’t figure out why young people want to tat their face, neck or titty. I think I know everything about you I need to know if I see tats in any of those three places. the only exceptions to this are 1. Diddy 2. Pharell, 3. AI and 4. Mike Tyson as that face tat seems to suit him. And mind you, I HAVE five tats, all of which can be covered up if need be for things like… job interviews.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!! Law and Order: CI is the worst show ever!!!!! SVU shall reign forever!!!!! Whew, you just made my blood pressure rise. Aye dios mio. If SVU ever gets cut off I may be in a state of depression… for months. But on a serious note, we as Americans have an unhealthy and steadily increasing obsession/perversion to sex and criminal acts. SVU, to catch a predator, cheaters and other shows offers us a way to feed our habit. CI is just sad and lame.
Now, as for the tattoo statement, where the heck do you live? I have 5 medium size tattoos and each is a work of art done by the same group and in total I may have paid $500. Its all about finding the right person with the right price. The relationship one has with their tatt artist is one of the most important relationships that they will ever have.If you happen to be in the great state of NY, I can point you in the right direction of great tattoos at a great price. But, remember you get what you pay for so you don’t want it to be too cheap!
I won’t touch #10 because I am still praying about it myself. smh
@Buxxy,
WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!! Law and Order: CI is the worst show ever!!!!! SVU shall reign forever!!!!!
Sacrilege!!!! That is all.
I mean I give you Meloni (hot), and even the fact that some story line are phucked up enough to merit their own university course to analyze them, but NEVER shall SVU equal (not even best) the sheer amazingness that was CI. NEVER.
Yeah and the increase in all those sexual exploitation shows is sort of disturbing.
@ofloveandotherdemons, Sorry, I have to agree with Buxxy. What show are you watching? SVU is just soooo much better than CI. I would be too devastated if they every cancelled SVU. I didn’t even bat an eye when they cancelled CI. I have a feeling more people feel like I do, they probably did that because SVU more than likely gets more ratings.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
but NEVER shall SVU equal (not even best) the sheer amazingness that was CI. NEVER.
i agree. CI was easily the best law and order series, and goren is easily one of the best 4 or 5 characters on all of television. svu, while entertaining, is a bit too melodramatic for me. i mean, damn, i know new york city has 16 million people, but you’d think by now they would have run out of kids to rape and murder
@The Champ,
…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
@The Champ,
Plus they use the insanity defense way too often on SVU.
@Buxxy,
I love SVU. CI was sooo worthless, I don’t even know why they thought that would fly.
Oh yeah, Meloni is hot, I’m even more distrubed that I thought he was hot in OZ….lol
* ya’ll see last night episode? The ending messed me up! Whoa!
@miss t-lee,
“* ya’ll see last night episode? The ending messed me up! Whoa!”
Girl, what?! OMG! I knew as soon as she turned around what was about to happen, but I mean…wow! I gasped in shock…and then I laughed. It was too much going on.
And yes, SVU kicks CI’s booty. This is all. End of story.
@Ash,
IDK–I was genuinely suprised, I did not see that happening like that. Plus, I was also kinda busy half studying and texting someone, so when I looked up and saw that I was like dayum!
@miss t-lee,
CI was sooo worthless, I don’t even know why they thought that would fly.
blasphemy!!! repent, woman, repent!!
@The Champ,
I see your love for CI is serious…lmao
@ofloveandotherdemons, i’m late…they canceled Criminal Intent? Why?!! I love Goren too, something s3xy about him…and I can’t figure that out either.
@Miss Patterson,
i seriously think that “svu or ci” would be a valid personality profile test
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I don’t miss Intent. I love USA cuz it feeds my SVU addiction. And I love Sam Watterson. They need more of those
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“9. Mmmmh, is there a definitive definition for a ‘hip hop head’ or can anyone that stumbled upon a Common/Mos Def/Tribe called Quest/Talib Kweli/ et al video deem themselves as such? Also have the all knowing powers that bestow this title to the lucky multitudes, mandated that one must utter above claim with a smug sense of superiority, and utter it repeatedly and obnoxiously in any venue where one or two black men are gathered?”
LMAO!!!!!
I run across these type kats at least once a week.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Mmmmh, is there a definitive definition for a ‘hip hop head’ or can anyone that stumbled upon a Common/Mos Def/Tribe called Quest/Talib Kweli/ et al video deem themselves as such? Also have the all knowing powers that bestow this title to the lucky multitudes, mandated that one must utter above claim with a smug sense of superiority, and utter it repeatedly and obnoxiously in any venue where one or two black men are gathered?
No. Just because you bought a Tribe Called Quest maxi-single in 93 or bought Wu-Tang forever because of the Triumph video doesnt make you a head. Especially if the majority of the music you like is on 106 and Park every evening.
@ofloveandotherdemons, I thought I was the only one that NBC srewed. Why did they take Life off? Only to replace it with Leno, even more Dateline, and a mannish personal trainer. Come on.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Almost everybody I’ve ever met hates Goren. I didn’t have a problem with dude, but i know people who damn near have a violent reaction to him. So I’m guessing that’s why it got canceled.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
You said a mouthful there sister.
This takes the cake though:
9. Mmmmh, is there a definitive definition for a ‘hip hop head’ or can anyone that stumbled upon a Common/Mos Def/Tribe called Quest/Talib Kweli/ et al video deem themselves as such? Also have the all knowing powers that bestow this title to the lucky multitudes, mandated that one must utter above claim with a smug sense of superiority, and utter it repeatedly and obnoxiously in any venue where one or two black men are gathered?
The self-proclaimed hip-hop heads grind my gears something serious.
And NBC? I left their arses a while ago. Their management is hot donkey sh!t!!
That Paul Pierce mess made me spit out my oatmeal pie. So so so true.
@Melinda,
lol, thats funny because oatmeal pie is exactly what his hairline usually looks like
*exits lurk mode*
This site usually has me rolling… I can’t figure out why I didn’t find this sooner?
I don’t understand why most of us black people feel the need to cite the fact that there were king in African like it’s a comeback at the playground? Like it’s some selling point to us being equal… Why does that need to be used as some form of validation of my own potential or worth? And correction, some of us are descendants of Kings and Queens… Isn’t it true that current generations are suppose to surpass previous generations? So wouldn’t that make us much more than our ancestors (in terms of potential at least)?
I still don’t understand why weed is illegal.
I don’t understand why we glorify racists (just a kind of hater). Now, racism wasn’t popularized nor invented by the United States, so why do people act like we can’t succeed just because some people out there may hate us black people? Regardless if a person hates you because of your car, your friends, themselves or your skin color, they’re all just haters. Why should I care about some hater trying to stop me? Regardless of time in history, civilization, occupation or ambitions, SOMEONE will try to stop you. So if 2520s in the United States want to try to stop me so what? They go in the hater bucket with them dudes around the corner and the coworker that randomly snitches. No glass ceiling for me… You’re suppose to have a sludge hammer ready ANYWAY.
Seriously… Why do most black women 22-28 look the same?!?! I don’t mean look the same as in physical features, but I mean they have the same style of dress, hair styles, talking patterns, similar social circles, summer reading patterns and sub-cultural social background. So when I roll up in a room that has women from this age group, I don’t know who to approach because no one stands out. They’re basically are the same person… Is it just me?!?! This phenomenon is running rampant in Atlanta (where I grew up). One day I
was escortedwalked onto Spelman campus and all these females looked the same… But oh no… it’s not limited to just there…Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby…
Why black people have to hate on Obama? Just because dude didn’t start allocating the monies for reparations on day 3 of his term, people act like he is only a poser. Homie is grinding! No he’s not ruling with a black power fist, but respect his hustle… Let him do him.
Lastly, which of the check boxes above and below the comment “Submit” button does what?
@MeteorMan, welcome!!!
About those checkboxes…I am still trying to figure that out LOL. I’ll be fixing that shortly….
@MeteorMan,
I feel like you read my mind. Even about the females. Like dang, do y’all all shop at Forever 21 at the same time?
@MeteorMan,
And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much?
Ok, this cracked me up. So MeteorMan what’s your hobby?
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I have a few. lol. I dream up and write computer software, I write poetry. When I say “write poetry,” I don’t mean curse and vent on beat… I mean in an attempt to master the craft and to gain deeper understanding of myself and the world around me… Also, I just sit and think…
@MeteorMan,
Lol, at you counting ‘sit and think’ as a hobby. Although, if you opened up a think tank you could go ahead and make a career of it. I hear this ‘thinking’ you speak of pays big in some circles of government. Look into it; let me know how that goes.
Aaaah poetry, I’m slowly beginning to appreciate that particular art form. Slowly. Give me a short story any day.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
lol. For real… I ponder ish and go deeper when needed… lol. I guess you’ll see evidence of that as I make more comments. My first listed hobby is my career but the real fun happens starts after business hours.
@MeteorMan,
“the real fun starts after business hours”
That should be on a T-shirt. lol
@MeteorMan,
Ooooh and nothing irkes me more than people who employ those silly African King/Queen titles when addressing people. Mainly because I’m certain 95% of them could not name three countries in Africa that were not Egypy or South Africa. I’m going to go ahead and assume that most are aware that this ‘Africa’ they claim with such conviction is a continent and not a single country. I wonder why no one ever claims to be descendants of goat herders, which is what my grandpa was, not a rich one either. My maternal granny subsidised the goat herding income by selling fried bananas in the market. Yeah, no one ever claims the poor farmers and herders.
@ofloveandotherdemons, I love you for this comment…that is all.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Bwahahaha!!! You slay me.
@MeteorMan, HAHA! I imagined you screaming at your laptop while typing that post. I’m a former Brooklynite> so the hobby thing was never a stagnated issue in my circle.. but on a physical level: all of my best friends seemed to stay stuck in the same gear from age 21-28. As in, still tryin’ to rock baby hair, tight ass jeans and some crazy print shirt w/ crispy sneakers. EVERY DAY?!=sick.
@GeekChicness,
but on a physical level: all of my best friends seemed to stay stuck in the same gear from age 21-28. As in, still tryin’ to rock baby hair, tight ass jeans and some crazy print shirt w/ crispy sneakers. EVERY DAY?!=sick.
are all of your friends 16?
@GeekChicness, baby hair, tight ass jeans and some crazy print shirt w/ crispy sneakers
this is sooo gonna be my halloween costume next year. i want to go to the consignment shop NOW. problem is i’d probably blend in here in pgh. no disrespect, but i’m still seeing 1993.
@MeteorMan,
“Seriously… Why do most black women 22-28 look the same?!?! I don’t mean look the same as in physical features, but I mean they have the same style of dress, hair styles, talking patterns, similar social circles, summer reading patterns and sub-cultural social background. So when I roll up in a room that has women from this age group, I don’t know who to approach because no one stands out. They’re basically are the same person… Is it just me?!?! This phenomenon is running rampant in Atlanta (where I grew up). One day I was escorted walked onto Spelman campus and all these females looked the same… But oh no… it’s not limited to just there…
Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby…”
I really liked these two paragraphs. That’s all.
@MeteorMan,
yeah…we gone have to do something about this weed thing. It’s safer than drinking…
Racist…i’m with you…f*ck em…me reacting to them is exactly what they want.
Women looking alike…it continues into the 30′s as well. Check out the smart hippy black chicks…some of them dress baggy to cover up some amazing assets…they have job security…and they like weed too…
@atltx,
I think women looking alike is another factor to show that the ratio is some BS. You have to eliminate the ones you don’t approach because they look the same as the ones over there…
@MeteorMan,
Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby
I run away from these women. They are the type that want you to amuse and entertain them 24/7. Any everything they do involves you in some way.
@Humble_One,
I’m not down with becoming someone’s hobby. Those are the ones that fall too hard, extremely too fast for no reason. It’s like YOU become their social life… I can’t even get to know their normal side because at week 2 they’re already in love… :-/
@MeteorMan,
Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby…
Some of the best advice my sister ever gave me when I became an adult: If you want to get know a woman, ask her what is her form of escapism? Women have been blow away by that statement because it makes them think about what they like to do when no one is around that they enjoy, which usually leads to their hobbies. People without hobbies, especially constructive ones, are usually pretty boring once you get to know them. I totally agree with your point.
@ComicBookGuy,
i’m sorry but does masturbation count as a hobby?
you said escapism….and things that they like to do when no one is around that they enjoy….
@MeteorMan, Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby…
i can’t even tell you how many relationships or soon-to-be relationships i ended b/c i realized the chick i was dealing with had NO interests whatsoever. like none. then had the nerve to get mad at me when i was like, “well what DO you do all day then when i’m not around? watch TV and wait for me????”
^^ actual convo.
@MeteorMan,
This site usually has me rolling… I can’t figure out why I didn’t find this sooner?
probably because you just recently got smarter, lol.
btw…
“Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby…
Why black people have to hate on Obama? Just because dude didn’t start allocating the monies for reparations on day 3 of his term, people act like he is only a poser. Homie is grinding! No he’s not ruling with a black power fist, but respect his hustle… Let him do him.”
…if you look through the archives you’ll find entries addressing both of these points and sh*t
@MeteorMan,
I have to admit when I was at a celebrity basketball game recently and just walking around these here streets that I noticed that almost EVERY woman in that category dresses like Beyonce with a weave, leggings, blousy shirt over them and serious high heels that would generally only be work-appropriate if your job included collecting tips in a G-string….
As for hobbies – interesting that it’s a male saying that. I find when i’m like let’s try snowboarding/eating sushi/traveling to a vineyard/going to a museum/attending a regatta/going to the U.S. Open/traveling to places outside of the Carribean etc. that I can get a gang of women who want to do all the same while guys’ interests revolve around the NFL, NBA, MLB, SEC, ACC, NCAA and other similarly acronymed organizations…now of course i’m generalizing…but only a little…
A few things this Negro can’t figure out:
1. How rain somehow finds its way under my hood or hat and between my glasses and hits my eye. I really don’t get it, and it will haunt me for the rest of my days. This sh*t should be physically impossible.
2. Why people sit next to you on the bus/train when there are still empty seats. These people are the scum of the earth.
3. Why the person who wants to go somewhere the most is always the last one ready to leave.
4. Why people press the crosswalk button or the elevator button 10 gazillion times as if it’s gonna make sh*t show up faster.
5. That one couple who brings a small child to the movies to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre or some sh*t.
6. How to floss. Seriously yo, I like can’t stick my hand inside my mouth. The dentist always makes it sound so easy, but I still have not figured this sh*t out and one of these days I’d like to not be the punk with those little handheld flossers.
And I’d also like to know how to react when free sh*t abruptly ends. My Latin teacher in college would bring donuts and bagels and stuff from Panera Bread for every exam (including them bangin-ass cinnamon ones that made me rush to finish my exams so I could get to them joints before erybody else). I had this dude for 3 classes and it was like clockwork for each one until the final of the last class where we got… nothing. Words can’t describe how blown I was.
@P.,
#1 Two reasons:
Firstly, some raindrops are small enough to travel along small air streams made by the curvature of your hat and glasses. If air is there, possibly an air stream can carry an extremely small droplet. And as you can see (or not), those droplets add up.
Secondly, you sure it’s not condensation? Like if it’s raining, usually your face is warmer than your glasses.
@MeteorMan,
Naw man, this ain’t drizzle or little splashes accumulating. It’s a gotdamn raindrop that’s noticeable enough for me to rip my glasses off as soon as it hits and curse the sky it came from while I dry my eye.
@P., you sound like this really bothers you.
@P.,
Why people press the crosswalk button or the elevator button 10 gazillion times as if it’s gonna make sh*t show up faster.
Oh God! This is so me. I blame nervous energy. I always feel like I have to do something with my hands, and since 9 time out of 10 I’m usually alone at the crosswalk button I have to keep pushing it to keep my hands occupied (well, one hand at least). It’s like a safety blanket, no logical reason for one but essential all the same.
@ofloveandotherdemons, “I always feel like I have to do something with my hands, and since 9 time out of 10 I’m usually alone at the crosswalk button I have to keep pushing it to keep my hands occupied (well, one hand at least)”
whoa!
@P.,
Similar to you bus seat issue, I can’t figure out why some women use the stall right next to yours in the restroom. It’s just…unpleasant. Don’t these people have boundaries. Please, skip a stall.
@INFJgurl, OMG! I hate that isht… it’s just rude! I just wanna be like “DANG, do you mind?!!!”… I mean I definitely don’t wanna hear wutevadafuk you got goin on ova there but most importantly I don’t want you to hear me!- sheesh
@P.,
Your #4 is my #1 pet peeve
@P.,
2. Why people sit next to you on the bus/train when there are still empty seats. These people are the scum of the earth.
whats even worse is when you can overhear the music they’re listening to, because 9 times out of 10 it’ll be soome terrible sh*t you absolutely hate. like “damn, i didnt know that rasheed wallace had a rap album”
I can’t figure out why Monique refuses to shave her legs. I’m sorry, but that’s just nasty.
@I was wondering….,
She said it was a black girl thing. When that posted to a white blog, me and like 5 other black women jumped at the chance to call her @$$ stank.
@I was wondering….,
I hear that!!! Saw her hairy @$$ legs at the Gokden Globes- na ah.
@I was wondering….,
Of the women I know who don’t shave their legs, the vast majority of them are black–and the ones who aren’t are on some vegan-hippie-all natural-granola crunchy type stuff and have other hygenic, um, idiosyncrasies. My mother wouldn’t let me shave mine for the longest time. I begged so much, she finally gave in when I was in like the 10th grade.
@INFJgurl,
I heard it was an ol’ skool Southern thing. It was confirmed with a Goodie Mob song when dude said “Lookin’ all good…wit dem hairy legs…” I don’t think it’s appealing to most men anymore.
@I was wondering…., I’m so glad you said something bc that isht right there is gross and unlady like!
@I was wondering…., probably b/c even her man cant imagine running his hands up those tree trunks. she’s the kind of woman you envision when you’re trying to take your mind off of sex.
@Panama Jackson,
thanks for giving me something new to think about when i’m trying to “still the dam”. lisa lampenelli wasn’t working for me anymore
@I was wondering….,
I’ve lovingly referred to Mo’s legs as “cashmere legs”. I mean, how you gon’ go to the Oscars like that, MO? HOW?!
@Cheekie, and then had the nerve to hold her dress UP! WTF? Put it DOWN!
I can’t figure out why this ninja would steal money out of my purse, and think that I wouldn’t call the police on his @$$ again. Why? Because its my fault you have crackhead tendencies?
Sorry, I’m venting.
@chaoticdiva,
I recently had my cousin arrested for stealing my credit card and attempting to charge a ridiculous amount of stuff. Her goofy a$$ told my mother that I’m wrong because she has a six month old daughter…Were you thinking about that baby when you stole my card? No, because you were trying to charge coach purses and shoes…GTFOHWTBS!!!!
@I was wondering….,
Wow. I think ninjas are losing their effing mind. I say we as intelligent black life forms secede from the black union.
@chaoticdiva,
I can’t figure out why this ninja would steal money out of my purse, and think that I wouldn’t call the police on his @$$ again.
wait…so someone made you call the cops on them before, and you allowed them to get close enough to you that they were able to take sh*t from your purse again?
@The Champ,
My roommate’s play cousin. She keeps letting the bitch in while I sleep.
I don’t understand WHY Flyy Girl was a “classic read”. It was slightly airheaded to me (I was 17 when I read it though). I kept thinking about how dumb that girl was. Actually, I don’t understand why Omar Tyree is still making money. His books are basic.
I also don’t understand why some people can’t grasp the fact that black people don’t always have naturally brown eyes and naturally dark brown/black hair. I was born with red hair.
I don’t understand why people don’t get that you can be LATINO and BLACK without being mixed. One is an ethnicity (Latino), one is a race (Black). Faizon Love is a Black Cuban. Zoe Saldana is a Black Dominican. Christina Milian is a Black Cuban. They are all still welcome on BET, but they are also shown love in the latino community.
I don’t understand how people get arrested for a crime, turn around and do the same crime?! Are you flippin serious?
And another thing I don’t understand is why do some of the finest black men choose the most basic female on the planet Earth? Especially when they choose Trailer Twila or Hoodrat Halle. Seriously? Your girl hasn’t left the U.S. ever, and she still can’t speak English correctly?
Let me stop before I offend someone.
@chaoticdiva,
I HATED Flyy Girl. Didn’t get the hype
@JumpOnIt,
I’m still upset I read the sequel.
@miss t-lee,
We shoulda known, the 1st was trash, it’s only right the sequel would be.
Also horrible
Boss Lady and For the Love of Money..
So yea.. bye bye Omie. Haven’t read any of his things… 3 strikes…
@chaoticdiva,
“And another thing I don’t understand is why do some of the finest black men choose the most basic female on the planet Earth? Especially when they choose Trailer Twila or Hoodrat Halle. Seriously? Your girl hasn’t left the U.S. ever, and she still can’t speak English correctly?”
We don’t have the time or patience to listen to your intellectual diatribes. The basic female just has to look good and swallow
@chaoticdiva,
I don’t understand why people don’t get that you can be LATINO and BLACK without being mixed. One is an ethnicity (Latino), one is a race (Black). Faizon Love is a Black Cuban. Zoe Saldana is a Black Dominican. Christina Milian is a Black Cuban. They are all still welcome on BET, but they are also shown love in the latino community.
Because people mostly don’t make an effort to learn anything outside of what they are taught to know. I agree with you. A perfect example would be in baseball. A-Rod is Dominican and he is fair skinned and has light eyes, then you have Sammy Sosa (before his skin bleaching, idiot) who is also Dominican and was brown skinned. If they were regular people, folks would automatically assume they are biracial based on their skin color and last names, when in reality, people from Cuba, the DR, Puerto Rico and just about any island in the Caribbean where Spanish is spoken, the people come in all different shades and colors. It’s all about educating yourself, but asking people to learn something just to better themselves is asking them to stick a finger up their butts and sing show tunes.
The scary thing about that last statement is there are people who would actually rather do that.
@chaoticdiva, I don’t understand why people don’t get that you can be LATINO and BLACK without being mixed. One is an ethnicity (Latino), one is a race (Black). Faizon Love is a Black Cuban. Zoe Saldana is a Black Dominican. Christina Milian is a Black Cuban. They are all still welcome on BET, but they are also shown love in the latino community.
i’m sure they do get that except most people go out of their way to be “mixed” and different when they can (like a certain half ninja/half injun i know), folks probably dont understand why you aren’t using that to make yourself seem more exotic.
ref the donut thing… human nature..
an analogy… i have learned to never start anything at the beginning of a relationship that i know will be noticed if it stops for any reason….. simple shyt like putting ‘x’ at the end of every text…
it will be noticed….(and then it will be used against you…. )
ref foine azz walking by..
just acknowledge it from the get go… snookums will learn to have to deal with it…
am british.. nigga is not in my lexicon… ninja always tickles me though..
ref hair… he is action man..
re the big o… you boys only have one ‘cum face’?
@london,
“am british.. nigga is not in my lexicon”
i would definitely rock this t-shirt
@The Champ,
me too!
Well…if you someone didn’t grow up saying “nigga” they end up pronouncing it with the “er” on the end and even his or her black friends might give them a side eye or insist that they just give up saying it.
Or something like that.
I don’t understand why black people love to talk about being part Indian or being Creole or Cajun…Not being pure-African or pure-anything is really regular in America. Sorry.Maybe it was just a phenomenon at my uni.
I haven’t figured out why guys try to talk to more than one friend in a cohort. Does it make sense that if my friend doesn’t want you because you have a defect that I would? Didn’t think so.
@MeteorMan I also can’t figure out why marijuana isn’t legal yet or at least decriminalised.
I don’t understand why she who shall not be named is still getting attention like she’s actually intelligent and has the cognitive ability to string together cohesive thoughts.
And the last thing, this has been on my group of friends’ mind for the past year or so.We’re in our mid-20s and pretty cool girls, we can’t figure out for the lives of us why guys continue to go for hos and the like…
@KayBeezy, “I don’t understand why black people love to talk about being part Indian or being Creole or Cajun…Not being pure-African or pure-anything is really regular in America.”
HELLO! I been saying dis for years… People irk the mess outta me with what “they mixed with”, who gives a f*ck- who ain’t mixed?- well except for some Africans I suppose, but we talkin bout Americans.
@KayBeezy, I don’t understand why black people love to talk about being part Indian or being Creole or Cajun…Not being pure-African or pure-anything is really regular in America. Sorry.Maybe it was just a phenomenon at my uni
i blame slavery and folks wanting to feel special.
@KayBeezy,
“I haven’t figured out why guys try to talk to more than one friend in a cohort. Does it make sense that if my friend doesn’t want you because you have a defect that I would?”
lol, you’d be surprised.
and, about this…
“And the last thing, this has been on my group of friends’ mind for the past year or so.We’re in our mid-20s and pretty cool girls, we can’t figure out for the lives of us why guys continue to go for hos and the like…”
…ho’s are sometimes attractive because they don’t worry about sh*t like “Does it make sense that if my friend doesn’t want you because you have a defect that I would?”
@The Champ,
Eggs-actly!
@KayBeezy,
Sorry, if you don’t understand why guys go for hoes, then you really don’t know guys.
I had a post about this over at my blog recently. The title is “Easy Does It.” To put it simply, it’s easier.
@KayBeezy,
I don’t understand why she who shall not be named is still getting attention like she’s actually intelligent and has the cognitive ability to string together cohesive thoughts.
Um yea, was that a direct hit at Sarah Palin?
Good day Sir Champilicious III,
- You don’t get why some of us squirt, scream and go into other various states of lustiness? Well I don’t get why dudes can’t let out a little “Oh honey this is the sh*t!”, or a few wolf howls…somethin’ to let a boo know that all that pumpin’, contortionist/slip-n-slide action is doing something for him as well. I call my SO ‘the Creeper’> ‘cuz his sh*t creeps up on me…we’re going at it=I hear nothing for the first 45min…..then “OOHH,UGGGHH, ARRGGGHH” ! All kinds of demonic noises come out during the last 10-15min. and I’m thinkin’, “Must I call an exorcist?”
-I can’t figure out why Blacks and Caspers alike can’t get over Black folks that are into rock music? I don’t remember Watson&Cricke identifying a protein link in ninjas that makes them allergic to guitars ‘n sh*t? Good hip-hop= good groove/good time, outlet for(street)aggression. Good rock=outlet for deep-seated anger, sex, more sex, your wild side.
I can’t necessarily identify w/ some long-ass rap about ‘the party, the club, the hot azz chicks at the pool etc… Sometimes I need music to strangle my colleagues to, and then rub one out in the girls room=rock!
@GeekChicness,
“Well I don’t get why dudes can’t let out a little “Oh honey this is the sh*t!”, or a few wolf howls…somethin’ to let a boo know that all that pumpin’, contortionist/slip-n-slide action is doing something for him as well”
yassss. my first real boyfriend would always mutter really quiet stuff under his breath like, “oh, sh*t. ooooooooooooh my god, babe. sh************t.” it was the hottest thing ever and he was the most happy man ever because i put in work. and then when i encountered dudes after that that would just be silent, i became a really lazy, uneventful lay. my exes probably think i’m boring because i’m shy or self conscious or something. oh contraire, i do nothing because i have no incentive. men really do need a manual book. why should i give you my all if you’re just going to defile me like a big, silent, unconcsious rock either way? that’s just not how i do business, sir.
@charli skipper, probably cuz its a focus thing for us to. if we dont focus we might let off early warning shots. and nobody likes those.
@GeekChicness & @charli skipper,
I never realized until like year before last that this actually bothers women. I actually broke up with someone because she had the nerve to get upset and accuse me of not enjoying her head game just because I opted to silently enjoy. Sometimes I really don’t want to sound like a little bitch when I’m partaking. I guess I’ll have to fake it now.
@GeekChicness,
-I can’t figure out why Blacks and Caspers alike can’t get over Black folks that are into rock music?
I feel you, especially when most 2520s call Jimi Hendrix, a black man from Seattle, the greatest guitarist ever. All of the great guitarists, Clapton, Jimmy Page, George Harrison, Keith Richards, were all influenced by black blues guitarists from the South, i.e. Robert Johnson, T-Bone Walker, Blind Lemon Jefferson. I bump Metallica and Deftones at the gym. I listen to Pink Floyd and the Beatles on long plane rides. Good music is good music and sh*tty music is sh*tty music, no matter what genre it is.
@ComicBookGuy, i never could (and still can’t) get into the Beatles. i have so many Beatles albums and i can honestly say i dont care for most of them.
ESPECIALLY sgt. peppers lonely hearts club the general consensus greatest album of all time amongst music critics. i just didnt find it to be that good an album.
@Panama Jackson,
Still trying to figure out Sgt. Pepper’s massive appeal. I think their biggest appeal is that they were the first band that people got to see with their eyes and ears transition and grown up, instead of making the same stuff that they did in their youth to get them on, and be successful doing it. Others of done it after them but they were really the first to really do it.
@Panama Jackson,
We studied the Paul McCartney death hoax which was heavily tied in with the Sgt. Pepper’s album in my 9th grade drama class. What did that have to do with drama?
Heyll if I know. It was a fun 3 weeks of class. I don’t even know if I would have ever listened to that album if we hadn’t studied it…lol
I love that song “A Day In the Life”.
@Panama Jackson,
I’ve been lurking for a while, but I HAD to comment on this one Panama…from one music freak to another, please give Sgt. Pepper’s another chance. This is the album that opened my eyes to the Beatle’s genius. It might help if you’re high, or if you imagine that you are. lol This makes a lot of classic rock songs sound better, and it’s the reason why “Dazed and Confused” is my favorite rock song. Oh, and you should listen to Sgt. Pepper’s all the way through. Let all the songs run together. Amazing experience, man.
Okay, back to lurking. I just couldn’t let that one go lol. Love you guys!
@Honey, welcome and sh*t.
i always want to give it another listen but peep this homey. the THREE times i’ve listened to it all the way thru from start to finish have been on road trips, the place where i do my best listening and appreciating and i just did NOT enjoy it once. i forced myself to listen b/c i want to hear what others hear and i just don’t.
i’ll try again as a service to you, from one music freak to another.
@Panama Jackson,
ESPECIALLY sgt. peppers lonely hearts club the general consensus greatest album of all time amongst music critics. i just didnt find it to be that good an album
You shut your filthy mouth, Sir! Sgt. Pepper is like an up beat, pertpetually perky, preppy upper westide kid in a massive acid trip. Lord, I love it. Mr. Kite, Good Morning, Good Morning are just lovely in their trippiness; then you have all the great narratives on A Day in the Life, She’s Leaving, Lovely Rita, When I’m Sixy four and finally, the relentless optimism of Getting Better. Actually, with the exception of 2-3 tracks, every song on their is just so gloriously happy. Give it another listen, it might surprise you. I wasn’t blown away my first listen, but every time I’d play that CD I’d discover something new, and now it’s definitely on of my Top 5 albums.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
It’s funny with all of this Beatles talk. I was playing Rock Band Beatles last night. I love the White Album just as much as Sgt. Pepper.
@ofloveandotherdemons, i’ll try. but i’ve listened to it more than once in its entirety and it never caught on.
could be b/c their westside and mine are totally different. but hell…i love trippy shit. hell i STILL rock out to jefferson airplane and it doesn’t get higher than that. surrealist pillow is highman music.
i’m just not a beatles fan.
@ComicBookGuy, Outside of Metallica and Pink Floyd, your list blows. The Beatles are arguably the worst well thought of bands in the history of music. They were marginally talented and excessively hyped.
@GeekChicness,
- You don’t get why some of us squirt, scream and go into other various states of lustiness? Well I don’t get why dudes can’t let out a little “Oh honey this is the sh*t!”, or a few wolf howls…somethin’ to let a boo know that all that pumpin’, contortionist/slip-n-slide action is doing something for him as well. I call my SO ‘the Creeper’> ‘cuz his sh*t creeps up on me…we’re going at it=I hear nothing for the first 45min…..then “OOHH,UGGGHH, ARRGGGHH” ! All kinds of demonic noises come out during the last 10-15min. and I’m thinkin’, “Must I call an exorcist?”
this made me literally laugh out loud for a good 30 seconds
@GeekChicness,
Well I don’t get why dudes can’t let out a little “Oh honey this is the sh*t!”, or a few wolf howls
Some will and do. Trust!
@Sula,
I may even say most. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I’m still holding my V-card so what do I know*.
*- #liespeopletell
the part about “nigga” takes me to a special place. I remember auditioning with this girl for a part that required the wife to call the husband a nigga. um…..this d*mn bastid of a girl KILLED me because her black a*s could not say it. me and my bff can still fall out in laughter about this, several years later. it was just so awkward listening to her struggle. “nagger. niggar. neeeeeeeghir.” lol. a mess.
things i can’t figure out:
why are ineligible dudes so confident? and on a similar note, why are bad kissers with bad breath so fond of kissing? it’s weird. i was at a club with a guy that i THOUGHT i had a crush on–up until we kissed–and he had the nerve to turn down my offer to dance by saying, and i quote: “nah. i’m not good at dancing. i’m good at kissing
” tha hell! why are you playin games with me, betch?
why do yt people have so much time on their hands for foolishness? i saw on the news that people protested in the streets of several cities IN THE RAIN on behalf of conan o’brien. um…….seriously? i’m not racist and i hate to make generalizations (well, i really don’t). but some yt people need to cut it out. and quickly.
i don’t understand why some black people make fun of people from africa. (i have a friend—a black friend–that referred to one of my african classmates as “mufasa.” as though he found it such an oddity that my classmate was actually from africa. really?) or are still grown a*s people that refer to and rate people by skin color. really? so did you expect me to join in with your ignorance or just sit here and be uncomfortable? you’re rude.
i don’t understand why men want to go to the movies all the time. is it a cheap way out for you or do you just not want to talk to me? either we’re havin dinner or doing something fun or i’m just going to sit here and watch these reruns of the cosby show with my 3D glasses on.
@charli skipper, those first 2 paragraphs killed me- you stoopid!
@charli skipper, why do yt people have so much time on their hands for foolishness? i saw on the news that people protested in the streets of several cities IN THE RAIN on behalf of conan o’brien. um…….seriously? i’m not racist and i hate to make generalizations (well, i really don’t). but some yt people need to cut it out. and quickly.
don’t hate on them b/c they got passion. if you believe you find a way. i believe in getting my paycheck, so i find a way to work everyday and watch those other folks who believe in other causes riot and stuff on TV. it’s a compromise.
@charli skipper,
the part about “nigga” takes me to a special place. I remember auditioning with this girl for a part that required the wife to call the husband a nigga. um…..this d*mn bastid of a girl KILLED me because her black a*s could not say it. me and my bff can still fall out in laughter about this, several years later. it was just so awkward listening to her struggle. “nagger. niggar. neeeeeeeghir.” lol. a mess.
you all are in rare form today. i almost choked on my salmon brisket
First, I’m a classic example of #1…i might type “nigga”, but it doesn’t roll of my tongue. sh*t, i might as well say put an ‘e-r’ at the end because that’s how unnatural it sounds when I say it.
1. I can’t figure out why women use b*tch as a term of endearment. Because when *I* call somebody a b*tch it means I want to cut you. *looking at you blkberri*
2. I can’t figure out why some people wear foundation on top of juicy poppin’ crater acne. Um…I can still see it. Let that sh*t breathe!
3. I love, love, love Korean & Japanese stationery (and stickers…don’t ask). But I can’t figure out why in 2010 the phrasing is still so poorly translated. Things like, “book note” and “let me have your smile!” and “I have love for you.” It won’t affect my addiction to these products, but I could make a living off of being a translator for Asian stationers. Don’t even get me started on the business owners in LA…for example one phone # was 323-we-nails. no joke.
4. I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to react when a Victoria’s Secret salesperson asks me my bra size in the middle of a crowded sales store in front of boys. Am I too old to be whispering or should I be beat boxing that sh*t to her?
5. Speaking of VS, how come their models don’t eat? And why didn’t they look like that when I was 95 pounds?
6. I can’t figure out how Seinfeld NEVER gets old for me. I can watch a gazillion reruns of the same episode and still laugh every.single.time.
7. I can’t figure out how both my home and work computer immediately auto fill “verysmartbrothas.com” the minute I type in “www…” Did y’all sign a deal with Firefox AND Internet explorer? Is there an undo button?
@Miss Patterson,
lol. your list is funny. and i’ve had that moment in the victoria secret store too. it’s like, for some things in life you’re still in high school/preteen stage in your mind until you get snapped back to reality. the woman looking at me like, “gerl, please. I said ‘WHAT’S YO’ CUP SIZE?” snapped me back.
@charli skipper,
chick once called my bra size out in the bra store in front of my nosy ass nieces….and i’m a cup size much further down the alphabet that i ever thought I’d see or that even existed….
@Miss Patterson,
“6. I can’t figure out how Seinfeld NEVER gets old for me. I can watch a gazillion reruns of the same episode and still laugh every.single.time.”
I totally agree. I was watching the Vandelay Industries episode last night laughing like I’d never seen it before.
@miss t-lee,
So was I! “That! Is one, magic, loogie.”
@WordSmith,
Hee-hee!!! Game 6!!!!
@Miss Patterson, #2 – true story “let that b*tch breathe”… *shivers*
@Miss Patterson, #2 – true story “let that b*tch breathe”… *shivers*
@Miss Patterson,
7. I can’t figure out how both my home and work computer immediately auto fill “verysmartbrothas.com” the minute I type in “www…” Did y’all sign a deal with Firefox AND Internet explorer? Is there an undo button?
good question
I still can’t figure out:
1. Where “youzalie” comes from
2. People drop out of college/university…those were the best years of my life. Well apart from the last minute essays, and panic attacks come exam time. Other than that- twas all good. *sigh* i really really miss those carefree days.
3. Why rimming/tossing the salad is popular…you want me to put my mouth on yr @$$..really?!
4. Why obviously gay nuckas get married…um..did you think we wouldn’t notice Shanaynay?!
5. Nuckas with decent jobs still turn around and commit crime…what u say Antwan Tanner?! SMDH@ that fool.
6. Why women’s wallets are so big…to make em easier to snatch perhaps?
7. Why there’s pic of ?uestlove with nhis hair starightened floating on the net? Is that ish for real, did due really relax his hair?
8. Why Keri Hilson came onto the scene damn near naked. Why???
9. Why Lauryn Hill couldn’t maintain, damn figured if anyone was gonna lose the plot 1st it would be Erykah Badu.
10. Why Sammy Sosa and Lil Kim messed did that to themselves? Ya’ll look like freaks now…no that is not a compliment Lil Kim.
@mateosmuse, on your #5, I would say that would be the same reason all of these overpaid celebs and athletes do it. Some because they can get away with it and others because money don’t buy common sense.
@Raqi,
It’s a d@mn shame. You would think they would steer clear from such nonsense especially because of how hard they’ve worked to get there.
@mateosmuse, NUMBA 3- smh… I spoke to a couple of dudes last night and apparently we’re the crazy ones. That isht ain’t right … it would make me very nervous like aren’t they afraid that while they knocking someone might answer the door?- YUCK!
@mateosmuse, 3. Why rimming/tossing the salad is popular…you want me to put my mouth on yr @$$..really?!
wasnt’ actually aware that was popular. wheredeydodatat?
@Panama Jackson,
(been lurking & stalking the life of this blog for a min.)
wddd@? um, everywhere. yall men are some nasty freaks. It’s usually the unlikely suspects are into tossing salads and all that extra stuff. Almost every guy i have ever been with has either brought it up during phone sex (don’t judge me), or done it while going down. It is always awkward at first.. I usually have a wtf milisecond and give the dude a serious side eye, but…What are ya gonna do? Or say even? ‘scuse me could you please take your tongue out of my- ohhh, damn, ooooohhh’
..i guess i’m done now.
@truthinrumors, I was bout to say the same thing….I don’t know if it’s exactly “popular” but I’ve run across more than a couple who happily partake in this activity
@mateosmuse,
whats rimming?
@The Champ,
*giggling*
@The Champ,
Ask your girl if she wants to give you a rim job. It’s very similar to a bj. She won’t mind. ROTFLMAO
@V Renee,
Why are you trying to set that man up for failure? lol
How does a man with an english degree, blog writer, come about writing in all lower case?
@?, irony, much?
@?, shots.fired.
@?,
i was tempted to just reply with “how do deez taste?”, but because this isn’t the first time that question has been asked, i’ll give the real answer.
when i first started blogging, i didnt have a pc of my own, so i’d upload the entries on my old blog on my t-mobile sidekick. and, because it was too difficult to capitalize, i just started using all lowercase letters. by the time i bought a comp, the lowercase letter thing became one of my “trademarks”, so i just stuck with it
@The Champ, that’s a very interesting story and I guess your trademark is being infringed upon by many although I’m not sure what came 1st the chicken or the egg. If I recal,l I do remember reading your words on this blog where you did capatalize in the traditional way. I guess that was Pre-No PC. think i’ll make it mine too. (no hack-no bite) all praises due to champ. champ u akbar.
@?,
I’ma let you finish, but you spelled “recall” wrong. Why are you correcting folks language skills and you don’t have your ish in check?
Just saying….carry on.
@chaoticdiva, well i wasn’t trying to correct him but rather find his inspiration for the style. however an excuse for the error or style is i am writing this from my phone blah blah blah blah… didn’t you see i’ve credited him for jacking the style. are you his guard dog or can the man speak for himself?
@?,
And is separating the ‘L’ in recall by a comma, your trademark?
@Sula, seperating the l with a (,) is not my style but I got it from your ni**a. lol.
@The Champ, I liked “how do deez taste?” better.
@Yeah…SO?!, since you’re liking the taste, taste these too. lol!
@?, ewww… word on the street is your “deez” (by the way) are
?uestionable… I’ll pass but this popcorn I’m having while chaoticdiva and sula make you look stu?id (<–my trademark) is delicious.
yeah so, don’t let that popcorn get caught where my smegma bussoff in the back of your chroat. look at your face. lol.
@?, stop worrying about my throat and read a d@mn dictionary you illiterate BEESH!… can’t spell fo’ Sh*T!
@ Champ- The picture of the over the top wordsmith Dr. Dyson got me…is this the ultimate picture of smartness? One question….why is it that every time I hear him speaking to someone I have to have a dictionary close by, come on , we know you are a VSB, can you give it a rest with the $5,000.00 words already. I am a lover of the English language, but come on cut a sistah some slack once in a while, sometimes I just want to understand wtf you are talking about sans the thesauraus, dictionary, or google* just sayin
*sidenote- I too can not say the N-word (can’t even write it)…however I can insert NInja, Negroe, or a new one that has been added to the lexicon by a friend of mine , reggins, much simpler to use , easier on the ears & correct terminology considering the backwards behavior of folks sometime …BTW- I agree with INFJgurl below Why this site is like crack. ?
@bajanflchick, backwards… thanks for clearing that up cuz I was like “huh?” on dat reggins isht- good stuff.
@bajanflchick, @ Champ- The picture of the over the top wordsmith Dr. Dyson got me…is this the ultimate picture of smartness? One question….why is it that every time I hear him speaking to someone I have to have a dictionary close by, come on , we know you are a VSB, can you give it a rest with the $5,000.00 words already. I am a lover of the English language, but come on cut a sistah some slack once in a while, sometimes I just want to understand wtf you are talking about sans the thesauraus, dictionary, or google* just sayin
you and i must be twins. i feel this exact same way. it annoys me and drives me insane and makes me truly detest him. plus his books don’t be ’bout sh*t.
@bajanflchick,
lol, we actually talk about him for quite some time in our next podcast
I still haven’t figured out:
1. Why this site is like crack.
2. Why some men only look good when they have on hats or sunglasses (like R.Kelly).
3. Why nobody makes spaghetti or peach cobbler better than my mother.
4. Why wangs with curvature (or a hook as my girl would say) are the business.
5. Why my boss, let’s call her Becky, insists on calling me “girlfriend” like she grew up in the hood circa 1993 or something.
6. Why people in Cleveland like Hot Sauce Williams. That stuff is just foul.
7. Why boob level men with missing teeth always wanna holla at me. First, I can’t hardly see you down there, son. And fools on tip-toe ain’t gangsta or s3xy. Second, do I look like I got a good dental plan or something? Third, no you cannot gum me down.
8. Why some people find the most ingenious ways to game the system, but can’t ingenious themselves into a steady job.
9. Why any grown man would wear tightee whitees. Really? Isn’t that why they invented boxer briefs?
10. Why people who live in snowy places can’t drive in the snow.
@INFJgurl,
Boxer briefs are just long tightee whitees. LOL That’s what my husband says. While he look hella good in a pair of boxer briefs (that he only wears for my viewing pleasure), regular loose boxers are his thing.
@Raqi, while i myself rock boxer briefs, it is true. boxer briefs really are tighty whiteys with extra leg cloth. lol. but it just doesnt seem as wrong as tighty whiteys.
@Raqi,
Boxer briefs are just long tightee whitees
this is true, but i prefer them as well. i guess i just need thigh warmth
@Raqi,
tightie whites leave panty lines. Not saying it’s a good or bad thing. I’m just saying. LOL
@INFJgurl,
“8. Why some people find the most ingenious ways to game the system, but can’t ingenious themselves into a steady job.”
Speak that truth!
@INFJgurl, CO-SIGN #4….that is all. I call it..”the curve” *shudders*
@Complex Simplicity,
I have to co-sign #4 as well… Might have to do with that “elusive” G-spot.
@INFJgurl,
10. Why people who live in snowy places can’t drive in the snow.
You must be from Michigan. I swear these people out here act like they’ve never seen snow before. And they all drive trucks!
Why does Black Man In Dress = Comedy?? The shyt isn’t funny to me, ever. So why’s it funny to everyone else?
@Ms. Smart,
COSIGN. Why does it seem like Black men have to dress up like women to get a laugh? I don’t see other comedians doing it.
@Ms. Smart,
Why does Black Man In Dress = Comedy??
slavery
@The Champ,
This made me cackle quietly.
@Cheekie, cackle quietly?
is that even possible?
@Panama Jackson,
It is when your boss is standing near you at work.
Did you mean AuBrey Graham?
@Yonnie3k,
hahha I caught that too.
@Yonnie3k,
who? what?
i can’t figure out how john edwards is running around fathering fatherless children with floozies and making brunch plans for the day after his wife dies and thinking he was gonna be the da*m president of these united states. bastid.
@charli skipper,
i think john edwards just needs to say “f*ck it” and start dating snookie from jersey shore
@The Champ,
Wouldn’t be a bad career move.
I can’t figure out…
Why the girls at my illustrious university think it is ok to dress like harajuku barbie…
Why said harajuku barbies aspire to be just like Niki Minaj…smh
Why my roommate can eat powder sugar like a bowl of cereal…no lie
Why I love this site so much…sigh
Why I just did not take my black ass to Spelman since everyone who does not know me at the Clark (Clark Atlanta) and at the House (Morehouse) assume I go to Spelman….depending on my mood about my school its a compliment…thats all
@Tahirah, yeah, you should have gone to spelman.
and i dont understand ANYBODY’s obsession with nicki minaj. she fascinates and disturbs me immensely at the same time.
@Panama Jackson,
About Nicki Minaj: You too?
@Panama Jackson, and wtf is up with all them d@mn voices?
@Yeah…SO?!, i think she’s a rap schizo.
@Panama Jackson, or she got turrets cuz she don’t make sense half da time noway.
@Panama Jackson, \
I woulda went if they had my major…o well not to mention i uh do like the attention from the maroon and white since the coloreds at the Clark tell me i shoulda took my ass to Spelman *hatin and shit lol
I am a female and I can’t figure out my own orgasms so good luck Champster. LOL
(After I typed ‘Champster’ I actually had a mental picture of you burrowed in a corner frantically nibbling on a free donut. LOL)
And cream rhymes with scream.
I’ll be back later and list stuff I just haven’t and can’t figure out.
@Raqi,
(After I typed ‘Champster’ I actually had a mental picture of you burrowed in a corner frantically nibbling on a free donut. LOL)
lol, a year ago this wouldnt have been too far from the truth
I just haven’t figured out why women wear those unatural looking lace front wigs. I mean really, where is your hairline? The wig looks like a wave cap that rests about 1 inch above the eyebrow w/ extensions.
I just haven’t figured out why Maxwell’s “Pretty Wings” was a hit. Nor can I figure out what the hell he’s really talking about. Probably b/c I can’t get past him repeating “pretty waaaangs”.
I just haven’t figured out why people who smell, don’t realize they smell. I understand that perhaps they are used to the funk…but at some point they must realize not everyone smells like garbage juice and they are in fact offensive.
@La Bakir,
“just haven’t figured out why women wear those unatural looking lace front wigs. I mean really, where is your hairline? The wig looks like a wave cap that rests about 1 inch above the eyebrow w/ extensions.
I’m MAD with you at this?! i Can’t breathe…LMAO!!!…i wonder the same thing though, lol
@La Bakir, “just haven’t figured out why women wear those unatural looking lace front wigs. I mean really, where is your hairline?”
No seriously, I on’t get that isht either. Like the whole point is to make it look more naturally right?… so, at what point was someone gon be like “dis ain’t it” and start over?
@La Bakir, I just haven’t figured out why Maxwell’s “Pretty Wings” was a hit. Nor can I figure out what the hell he’s really talking about. Probably b/c I can’t get past him repeating “pretty waaaangs”.
i love that song to death but i also have no f*cking clue what he’s talking about. that music and the line “I had to leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave…” is my sh*t.
@Panama Jackson,
“that music and the line “I had to leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave…” is my sh*t.”
Word. That line singlehandedly sold me on the song. When I first listened to it, I’m like, “Oh, this is okay, I guess”, then when he got to the “I had to leave, I had to leave, I had to leave, I had to leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave” part, I was like, “S!T%$D%#%#! This is my ISH!”. I also love “But I miss you more and morrrrrrrre”. That nicca JAMMED.
@Cheekie,
He had me at “I should have showed you better nights, better times, better days. I miss you more and more”
I wasn’t sold on the song at first, but after awhile it became my jam. But that’s usually the process I go through with most songs I absolutely LOVE. Indifference-> slightly feeling it -> f*cking LOVING it.
@V Renee,
“Indifference-> slightly feeling it -> f*cking LOVING it.”
LOL, this is me.
On the female o : 75% of women can’t achieve orgasm with penile stimulation alone. Theory? The ability of a woman to “have emotions” is based on the distance between her “mini penis” and vagina.
http://tiny.cc/HDnZ4
@KaNisa,
interesting and sh*t
I love your list. I would like to add that I still can’t figure out why OJ stabbed that woman up like that. He damn near decapitated her. Oh, and I can’t figure out if black folks really think he was framed or was that just to deflect attention from his obvious guilt? I am also, still trying to figure out if Queen Latifah is gay or not. Ive seen Set It Off eight times and I just think she is playing that role a little too well…tell me something Queen….I will support you either way, I am also still trying to figure out why my people (Black folks) are the only race that ended up with the not so nice hair..I mean, I think we all know what I am talking about. I just wonder ’tis all……..
@QueenT,
lol, damn. those were some serious subjects. way to be a turd in the punchbowl.
@The Champ, Seriously? LOL. Your welcome.
@QueenT,
no problem and sh*t.
but to answer your questions (in order)
1. o.j. is nucking futs (as is anyone named “Orenthal”)
2. queen la is gayer than christmas morning
3. our hair tends to be a little more “coarse” than others because of evolution. basically, people hailing from africa and other places with hot climates usually have darker skin and shorter hair because they needed those traits to adapt to the weather. the extra melanin protects us from the sunlight and the hair is a bi-product of that.
subsequently, people hailing from places with colder climates (ie: europe) didnt need as much melanin because there wasn’t as much sun, but needed more hair to help protect them from the cold weather and the bubonic plague and sh*t.
neither type of hair or skin is “good” or “better” than the others though. its just different because it had to be
@QueenT,
“I am also still trying to figure out why my people (Black folks) are the only race that ended up with the not so nice hair..”
Ouch. This is not gonna bode well. O_O
@QueenT,
“I am also still trying to figure out why my people (Black folks) are the only race that ended up with the not so nice hair..I mean, I think we all know what I am talking about.”
Really Though??? Is this what you ponder?!?! I’m still in VSB orientation so I think a vet(eran) should put this animal down. smh
@MeteorMan,
I am still flabbergasted that this was posted as a question. I’m in a perpetual state of “O_O” right now.
Wow…
@Cheekie,
I didn’t wanna say it…but I’m truly perplexed.
@miss t-lee, I have just always wondered this…no need to be perplexed. Maybe, it has never entered your mind..and that is cool. I am not afraid of the backlash…..I am sure everyone has heard of the movie “Good Hair” by Chris Brown….the question of hair texture and all that we go thru for our hair to be STRAIGHT….come on. Don’t act perplexed.
@QueenT,
Yeah, I don’t knock you at all for being honest. And I need to be honest and question what you meant by “nice” hair. Is nice hair only straight? Or do you mean what OTHER Black folks perceive to be nice?Are you of the opinion that natural Black hair isn’t nice or are you just speaking in generalities?
I mean, if it’s not nice because it takes so much trouble to maintain, then that’s not accurate, IMO. Most things that are nice take the most to maintain, actually. Nice houses, nice cars, nice skin, nicenessness.
@QueenT ,
“the question of hair texture and all that we go thru for our hair to be STRAIGHT”
Not all of us go through that.
I didn’t know that Chris Brown had a movie out, I’ll be sure to check for it.
@miss t-lee,
“I didn’t know that Chris Brown had a movie out…”
…..stop it, lol, stop it right now!
@Smiley Face,
*looks around innocently*
@miss t-lee,
I didn’t know that Chris Brown had a movie out, I’ll be sure to check for it. .
I effing QUIT you for this comment. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
@miss t-lee,
“I didn’t know that Chris Brown had a movie out…”
I forgot to add that I quit you for this, also. lmao
@Cheekie, Why?
@QueenT,
I explained more of it in my above post, but I think the wording may offend a lot is all. It makes it sound like Black folks were cursed with their natural hair or something. That may not be how you intended to come across, though.
@Cheekie: My choice of wording was off. I just think black women go thru alot to live up to european images concerning hair. I used to think I had “bad hair” meaning not naturally straight and kinky..however, now I realize that my hair is versatile, thick and luscious..but, I have always pondered why Black women go thru so much with regards to their hair..I didn’t mean to offend anyone.
@QueenT,
K, gotcha.
@MeteorMan, put this animal down? Are you serious? Wow.
@QueenT,
LOL! I meant your seemingly warped mentality demonstrated by your word choice… not you… oh not you… lol
@QueenT,
Nice is relative. You’re idea of “nice hair” is warped.
@Big Man, yeah, I shouldn’t have used that particular wording. I stand corrected.
@Big Man
And you my friend need to learn the proper usage of your and you’re.
what to do when you’re out with your girl and this… *asssss* walks by…
make sure your girl is holding too…i swear it’s the only way…otherwise…there is no win for a man in this situation. And no…she was not cool with your ass storee remark.
@atltx,
make sure your girl is holding too
so only women with copious ass are wifeable?
@The Champ,
“so only women with copious ass are wifeable?”
That’s what I thought. They aren’t wifeable?
I haven’t figured out Whoopi Goldberg’s eyebrow situation…
I haven’t figured out the male’s obsession to
scratch“adjust”…I haven’t figured out the football craze…
I still haven’t figured out the Snuggie…and now the Kuttle…
I still haven’t figured out what Shaquille O’Neal is saying on those Comcast commercials…
I haven’t figured out how to beat my husband at Strip Uno…
I haven’t figured out Tyler Perry’s House of Payne…
@Raqi,
Wait, what in Jehovah’s name is the “Kuttle”? As a Snuggie Hater, I have a feeling it will make me frown, but my nosy self has to know.
@Cheekie, a Kuttle is, or was, a snuggie built for two. It has a third larger arm in the middle to be shared by the couple. I saw the informercial for it once. I have been trying to find it online but the links are all broken.
It’s a Snuggie gone wrong. LOL
@Raqi,
Yep, I knew it would make me frown. Ugh. SMDH…
@Raqi,
what da…? o_O
@Smiley Face,
I know! I’m sittin’ here like, if you’re gonna both get into one snuggie, you might as well, Duh, I don’t know…SNUGGLE to get warm. If you have two people, then you might as well get your cuddle on. If you’re comfy enough to squeeze into one snuggie with someone, you can use their body heat. lol
@Cheekie,
I’m sayin! lol
@Cheekie,
But have yall seen the Snuggie Jumpsuit?? Sh*t is HOT!!
@V Renee,
Someone (I think it was my homie Smiley Face) told me about that after my Snuggie rant. I might (might!) warm up to that one. lol
@ Champ, “we’re to stupid what southerners are to soap.”
I hate you for this
@Yeah…SO?!,
hate deez
@The Champ, sometimes you’re so predictable…
Predict deez.
@Yeah…SO?!,
this made me smile and sh*t
@Yeah…SO?!,
“Predict deez”
All kinds of props for that one.
LOL!!!
I still can figure out why i see white people wearing “Free Gucci” T-shirts…..or really anyone wearing them. I mean, Oj didnt even get a Tshirt.
Also Two and a Half Men. That show on CBS. I dont get it.
Also, people who answer their own question while asking their question. Like people will say “I know the sign says February 1st is the deadline, but what if i turned my stuff in on March 28th?” …da hell outta here.
@Captain Morgan, again which form do I fill out to co-sign on all that you just said. What kind of shite is that> the deadline is monday: “Can I get back to you on like 2 thursdays from now?” umm… NOO mofo! U can’t be 2.5 weeks late w/ stuff and expect me to put on my Ren&Stimpy ‘happy-happy-joy-joy’ face on!
@Captain Morgan, Two and a Half Men is Hilarious. What makes it funny? Classic, good guy always looses bad guy always wins. Plus the kid, Jake, has perfect comedic timing. And their mother? One of my favorite sitcoms.
@INFJgurl, yeah im with you. that show is hilarious. plus it gets me ready for my favorite show, the big bang theory.
@Panama Jackson,
i do love the Big Bang Theory…
@Panama Jackson,
How I Met Your Mother > all of the above.
@SouthernCharm,
Cosign!!!
@Panama Jackson, Big Bang Theory is Pretty Good too, but I prefer Two and a Half Men. Never got into How I Met Your Mother. Just not feeling Doogie Howser and Willow as Heteros and the flabby full frontal nekkid guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall as anything but a sad flabby full frontal nekkid guy.
@Panama Jackson,
I’m really hoping to friend a ‘Sheldon’ one day. Dude is hysterical.
@INFJgurl,
All About Ted. Hilarious.
also, is there any sh*t that you very smart brothas and sistas out there just can’t figure out?
I got a few things I can’t figure out.
1) Why chics with tig ol bitties have no @ss and chics with @ss have no bitties? I can count on my hand how many chics I’ve seen with both. (shout out to Toronto)
2) How is it that men that ain’t ish end up with good women and women that ain’t ish end up with good men?
3) Why is it that 2520s without a pot to piss in will ride and die for Conservatives?
4) How is it that Middle Easterners an Asians can sell Black folks wings, hair care products, and nikes? Are we that inept in the hood? I mean WINGS!? WE can’t sale wings!?
5) There is a church on almost every block in Detroit. So why are there so many problems here?
6a) How is it that people can listen to mainstream hip-hop and see no problem with it.
6b) How can you not like Wu-Tang Clan, The Roots, and beats by 9th Wonder, Dilla, Premier, and Pete Rock but will listen to Shawty Lo and Gorilla Zo?
7) Why do I have friends that have 2 kids by the same woman and they’re still trying to play the field?
@Humble_One,
“3) Why is it that 2520s without a pot to piss in will ride and die for Conservatives?”
This baffles me, as well. When I see a 1973 jalopy with a “W” or “McCain” sticker parked in front of a trailer with broken toys and motorcycles in the yard, my brow is always burrowed in confusion. I’m like, “dog…you clearly are down on your luck – don’t you want a tax break or something? I understand the abortion issue, but does that really, truly effect your every day life like this trailer situation does?! No.” I fear this one will never be solved.
“7) Why do I have friends that have 2 kids by the same woman and they’re still trying to play the field?”
YES! When I see/hear about this, I always say, “Two babies? Two?! The second one wasn’t a mistake. Why doesn’t he just marry her? He CLEARLY likes that girl!”
@Ash, have children alone ever kept any man, EVER????
@OrangeStar616,
No, but it should. If a woman is good enough to have your babies, she’s good enough to marry. May not be a popular opinion, but that’s really how I feel. Why are people having babies (especially more than one) with people they don’t wanna be with?! I don’t want you AND the two kids you have with Sheila. I mean, I’m basically the second wife at that point – any babies I have are just gonna be added to the list. No thanks, boo. Lol
@Humble_One, Cosign… smh @ #7
Yeah and I do kinda like Shawty Lo tho and the Roots *shrugs*
@Humble_One, 6b) How can you not like Wu-Tang Clan, The Roots, and beats by 9th Wonder, Dilla, Premier, and Pete Rock but will listen to Shawty Lo and Gorilla Zo?
while i’m a hip-hop head (whatever that means…lol) part of the reason folks listen to shawty lo and gorilla zoe is b/c those beats they rock to are hot as hell. 9th wonder been making the same beat for 7 years now. pete and preem, though legends, hayday is behind them and they prove it more and more with beats that just dont knock like they used to. preem is too stuck in trying to maintain that dirty sound he had that ran NY for years. only problem is, them shits aint hot no more.
shit shawty lo’s “dey know” beat (which is a Mandrill sample) is better than ANYTHING preem or pete rock or hell 9th have done in years. straight up. forget the words, the BEAT. was crack.
that’s the problem these older producers are having. production teams like the incredibles, the runners and the justus league learned from them and improved by mixing the bass heavy southern shit with teh sample heavy northern shit. that’s how you get shit like rick ross’ “magnificent” which is some serious beautiful music, or maybach music, or hell a lot of the stuff coming out of the south. music wise, that shit is insane. shouts to manny fresh too. the new producers sample and play instruments…
and btw, pete rock and dre dre are my favorite producers of all time.
@Panama Jackson,
Co-sign! A hot beat can elevate a nicca from “o_O” to “:)”.
@Panama Jackson,
part of the reason folks listen to shawty lo and gorilla zoe is b/c those beats they rock to are hot as hell .
Nodding in agreement. It’s the beat man. You gotta beat the beat (shout out to Jersey Shore). Lol
@Panama Jackson, I see what you saying as far as beats only LOL they (Primo and 9Th etc) have a signature sound that in today’s market can work against them…..
I love a fusion of sound and brass heavy tracks, always have, lots of horns and a thumping baseline, like some of Janelle Monae’s beats on Metropolis, its a fusion…love her…..
@OrangeStar616, you can add that to shit i can’t figure out…
what the hell happened to janele monae. she signed with puffy and then pfft. oh THAT’S what happened to her. Puffy.
i swear, i was SURE she was going to be the next artist to totally f*cking blow on some Drake sh*t. great music, great voice, interesting style. her metropolis suite I shit is great and had me waiting for the rest (which i’m sure is NEVER coming out).
and then. pfft. damn you puffy. at least you killed Biggie so it makes sense no more music is coming from him. whats the excuse with janele monae?!?!?
@Panama Jackson, Relax P LOL the next installment is supposed to be released this Spring, *fingers crossed*, she’s been touring and working on the new material..that Bad Boy signing had me a lil nervous LOL also
@OrangeStar616, you can believe that sh*t if you want. it was supposed to released over a year ago. to add insult to injury, this dude i know works directly with her and all he ever has to offer when i ask if its ever comings, “just wait…you’ll see” which we ALL know in industry terms means that shit is pushed back further than charles barkley’s hairline.
@Panama Jackson, LOL,
*cyber fingers crossed extra tight*
@Panama Jackson,
This comment made me happy.
I’ve been listening to the same Trae song all morning because of the beat alone.
@miss t-lee,
Which one?
Pop Trunk Wave is my sh*t.
@ComicBookGuy,
That one is indeed hot.
“Inkredible” is the one I’m stuck on…lol
@miss t-lee,
That is a good one, too. You making me want to bump “I Found Me” by Z-Ro.
Funny thing: Last night I was listening to DJ Kay Slay on satellite radio and he was bumping some Texas stuff for like 15 minutes, stuff from Dallas and Houston. Surprised the hell out of me.
@ComicBookGuy,
“I Found Me” by Z-Ro.”
I love that song. I wish I had it with me here, oh well I’ll have to make due with “Top Notch”.
Kay Slay? Really…that IS a suprise.
@miss t-lee,
Tell me about it.
He played a track that had Dorrough on it and that fool said: “White girls and redbones, together I call them peppermint.”
I laughed all the way home from the gym.
@ComicBookGuy,
Hahahha
Absolute hilarity.
@Panama Jackson,
I do agree with you as far as beats go. The beat for “They know” by Shawty Lo was hard. I LOVED that beat. Premo’s beats are signature but he has changed his style. So had Pete Rock. But what I don’t get with fans of Shawty and rappers like him is how they just ignore the rapper. It’s like MC is just filler or decoration on the beat. Why even put him on the beat? If it is just about the beat let the beat stand on its own and stop subjecting people to all these wack MC’s.
@Humble_One, thing is, producers need SOMEBODY to rap on stuff and you know a lot of NY purists don’t mess with southern produced music until AFTER it’s a hit. that’s why fat joe is actually relevant (we do still know who he is some 15 years after his first joint) b/c he figured that if you can’t beat them join them. plus, these cats make music to knock in the car and the club the place where most people listen to shit.
but really, most folks dont listen to rappers anyway. if they did, they’d realize that all them niggas are saying teh same shit, literally. except cats from NY do it more lyrically. but its all the same gun/drug/bitches talk. really it is. except for the real heads (your atmosphere’s, MURS, Blueprint’s, etc) but they usually get hampered by wack beats.
i do wish there were better rappers over these dope beats and shit, but i’d bet MONEY that these cats would pay to work WITH the Nas and Jay’s of the world, but if they say no, welcome Shawty Lo and Gucci Mane. did you hear the beats on Gucci’s album??!?! fuckin’ insane.
that damn “lemondae” is some hiphop shit if i ever heard it.
@Humble_One,
2) How is it that men that ain’t ish end up with good women and women that ain’t ish end up with good men?
you know what, i’ve found that this rarely happens. truly faulty aint sh*t people usually have a way of finding each other.
*hearts in viritual eyes* I’m having a similar convo w/ my girls now. This one dude who I’ve been on like 1.5 dates with and known him all of 3 weeks from which he has only text me insists on calling me “sexy”. Like all the damn time. So much so it’s not flattering and it’s quite disgusting. He text me last night saying “Hey sexy”. I just ignored him.
I say that to say…it’s more to me than just my physical. Like really! I enjoy reading, writing, traveling, sports…this Puerto Rican ninja has never asked me about what I like to do!
*researches nearest nun convent*
Author: ComicBookGuy
Comment:
@MeteorMan,
Why don’t people have hobbies? On a date, I ask women about their hobbies. 75% of them don’t have hobbies. And I don’t mean things I don’t consider a hobby, I mean things THEY don’t even consider a hobby. stagnant much? Do you just work, eat, sleep and sh*t? I question the sanity of a person who doesn’t have a hobby…
Some of the best advice my sister ever gave me when I became an adult: If you want to get know a woman, ask her what is her form of escapism? Women have been blow away by that statement because it makes them think about what they like to do when no one is around that they enjoy, which usually leads to their hobbies. People without hobbies, especially constructive ones, are usually pretty boring once you get to know them. I totally agree with your point.
@La Bakir, yeah that “hey sexy” isht has got to stop!… it’s freakin annoying! And yo sista knows what she’s talkin bout- cosign dat ALL DAY!
@La Bakir,
That’s what I would always ask a woman. The things she initially says will make you want to learn more about her and see if she is worth the time. That’s always a deal maker or breaker. If I am making an effort to talk to you, I already find you physically attractive. With that out of the way, let’s see what you are about. The world is too crazy nowadays to be attracted to just the booty. It could get you in trouble or make you look like an idiot, or both.
Good example: Guy: What do you like to do when you aren’t working? Girl: I like to read poetry. Guy: Cool. Who is one of your favorite poets? Girl: Nikki Giovanni. Guy: That’s cool. I saw her live and she signed a book for my mom.
Bad example: Guy: What do you like to do when you aren’t working? Girl: I like to read. Guy: Cool. What kind of books? Girl: Anything by Aleister Crowley. Guy: You mean, the occultist? Girl: Yes. Guy: Ok, it was nice meeting you. God Bless you and take care of yourself.
See what you can learn when you ask a woman about her hobbies.
@ComicBookGuy,
You just gave me hope for the day. God bless your heart. There are still men out there that get it (there’s more than just the physical).
Shit, I stopped dealing with a dude b/c he wasn’t too bright. Cute as hell, but damnit if he didn’t have the IQ of a small home appliance and didn’t do shit but hit the club.
One time he asked me if I wanted some pizza, I said I wasn’t hungry. He replied, “Oh, you’re finicky” *blank stare* I told him I wasn’t…and he insited I was because I didn’t eat past 7pm.
@La Bakir,
My pleasure. The good ones are out there. They are usually at grocery stores, bookstores and taking their mom’s out to Red Lobster.
I still don’t understand…
whether or not it’s really up to me when my girl says, “it’s up to you.”
How some women still don’t s_ck d**k and its 2010.
The phrase, “emotional cheating”
The intricacies of the vagina.
People with bad breath or BO who are close talkers. Do they just ignore it?
How to get a chick to leave my house minus the drama after a sexual encounter.
@xave,
“People with bad breath or BO who are close talkers. Do they just ignore it?”
Were you just by my desk and saw me blink in confusion at the smell of death coming from my co-workers mouth? I recoiled and forgot what the hell I was going to say! LOL
@xave,
How some women still don’t s_ck d**k and its 2010.
Me neither… Usually, I’m not the one to bring up sex. It’s usually them! So what are you (her) saying? You (her) brought up this topic to just to inform me not to expect head? You’re too old for that ‘I don’t do that’ mentality and verbality.
@xave, “whether or not it’s really up to me when my girl says, “it’s up to you.”
-it’s never up to you
“People with bad breath or BO who are close talkers. Do they just ignore it?”
-I think they’re preparing you for Survivor
“How to get a chick to leave my house minus the drama after a sexual encounter.”
-fart
@Yeah…SO?!, you have the answers so I have one more thing I don’s seem to understand.
The movie “Beloved” seems to get me to brain shart on a consistent basis.
@xave, well ok then… good luck with that.
@xave,
“People with bad breath or BO who are close talkers. Do they just ignore it?”
YES! They are the main ones that don’t value my “me” space. You’d think they’d be the last ones to invade it, but no, they’re the first ones. Just evil!
@Cheekie, I have a girl at my job who seems to gargle with sh!t before she comes to speak with you. What’s messed up is that her sentences have a lot of H’s in them, so that sh!t travels. I swear she thinks about every alliteration with H to subject me to her breath.
@xave,
ROTL @ “her sentences have a lot of H’s in them”. She needs to stop looking at Sesame Street when ‘h’ is the letter of the day, on the real.
@xave,
“I have a girl at my job who seems to gargle with sh!t before she comes to speak with you.”
Haaaaaahaaa! This made me laugh extra hard!
@xave,
How some women still don’t s_ck d**k and its 2010.
i refuse to believe that they still exist
@The Champ, “church girl” told me that like two weeks ago actually. After subjecting me to the age old “Soul Tie” lecture, which she seems to ignore herself. The are still out there lurking… i will try my best to phase them out. Do your part too. lol
I’m trying to figure out why Rhianna covered “Redemption Song”.
I understand that it’s for Haiti relief and all…but no ma’am.
@miss t-lee, she can’t really convey the emotional depth of that song.
@OrangeStar616,
Exactly. I think that’s why it’s a massive fail.
@OrangeStar616,
For real! Emotional depth and “Dead-Eyes” Rihanna go together like donuts and diabeetus.
@Cheekie,
I see ya.
Wilford Brimley game proper.
@Cheekie, LLS!!!!
@OrangeStar616,
D@mn- firewalls are a B*itch… that took forever to find. Anywho, she cheapens the song man… why would she do dat? It could have been good too, good cause behind it… but- eh… I mean just cause you got some Caribbean ancestry don’t mean you can sing Marley music man. When will she (and Alicia Keys for that matter) learn!
dat last note right there son! – *machine gun spraying*
@miss t-lee, SHE DID THAT? Where have I been? How you not gon include a link?… *exits frantically*
@Yeah…SO?!,
Well I heard she performed it on Oprah. But considering I don’t watch Oprah, I can’t verify this with 100% confidence and I’m way too lazy to actually look it up.
@Yeah…SO?!,
Sorry…here ya go…enjoy?! *side eye*
http://concreteloop.com/2010/01/new-music-rihanna-redepmtion-song-for-haiti-relief-her-performance-on-oprah
@miss t-lee, O God No. Who told her to do this!!!! I blame Jay-Z
@miss t-lee,
WTF?! Stop playin’!
Somehow, my life was better before I read this.
@Cheekie,
My life was better before I heard it. I posted a link for ya’ll’s listening displeasure, but I think it’s in moderation…lol
@miss t-lee,
“but I think it’s in moderation…lol”
For good reason, I’m sure. *braces self before listening*
Yeah, so I listened. I didn’t make it past the second syllable.
@miss t-lee,
EXTRA co-sign on THIS!!!!!
As a Jamaican I REFUSE to watch/rate this.
@keisha brown, oh but you have too- It’s your duty to your people to spread the word of this travesty… *tear in eye*
@keisha brown,
I’m offended for ya’ll as well.
Seriously, if I was from JA I think I’d be ready to fight someone.
@miss t-lee, dat last note right there son! – *machine gun spraying*
I had to write it twice…
@Yeah…SO?!,
You hotter than fish grease, ain’t cha?
*snickering*
@miss t-lee, I know right… but nuthin gets me worked up like a Bob Marley cover gon wrong. – lol
1. I haven’t figured out the appeal of fake boobs…. they look great when they’re all dressed up, but they feel like shoulders.
2. Why Quiznos was using a rat in their television adds for sandwiches a while back.
3. and finally why exactly does Gucci Mane have a record deal?
@Mr. Kay,
Re: #1
I’ve always wondered how they felt…thank you for breaking that down for me…lmao
@Mr. Kay,
*perished* @ fake boobs feeling like shoulders. This is the first comment I’ve read and I already know this entire thread is about to be on some top-notch foolish ish.
@Mr. Kay,
1. I haven’t figured out the appeal of fake boobs
me neither.
@Mr. Kay, O my goodness, everyone I know can not remember that friggin commercial. I refuse to eat any Quiznos because of that commercial.
*dead like winter leaves at this ENTIRE thread including the comments.
*applauds and sits back and waits for more while I pretend to care about working when 6 days from now i’ll be on vacation in miami.
Why someone acts all surprised and shocked that I don’t know who or what a Whacka Flacka Flame is when it was found out he was shot. ( A rapper btw.)
Why small talk in the elevator with random ppl you work with always involves the weather. Talkin about its cold out there, yea I know I was just out there.
Why Mary J. Blige is constantly blinking when she does interviews.
I’m still trying to figure out how exactly a woman smokes a cigarrette with her vagina, and if you do it for a long time, does it lead to cervical cancer just like regular smoking can to lung cancer. ( My mother told me about a woman that was able to do this.)
@Deeds,
I’m still trying to figure out how exactly a woman smokes a cigarrette with her vagina, and if you do it for a long time, does it lead to cervical cancer just like regular smoking can to lung cancer. ( My mother told me about a woman that was able to do this.)
……………………………………………..
@Deeds,
“I’m still trying to figure out how exactly a woman smokes a cigarrette with her vagina, and if you do it for a long time, does it lead to cervical cancer just like regular smoking can to lung cancer. ( My mother told me about a woman that was able to do this.)”
What in the huh?
I’m trying to figure out how you managed to type out the above quote as if it exists. Like, that…um…exists? For real?
@Deeds,
( My mother told me about a woman that was able to do this.) .
Ummmm and how did your mom come across such a woman?? o_O
(After I typed ‘Champster’ I actually had a mental picture of you burrowed in a corner frantically nibbling on a free donut. LOL) .
You imagining this highly amused me. LOL
@V Renee,
amuse deez
@The Champ,
I have no doubt that when you pull “deez” out, you hear laughter. Don’t fret too much, you can’t help it. LOL
“haha. wow babe. look who just robbed the ass store”
If you’re a known assman, though, this can never be taken as true snarking and will undoubtly be taken as “I’m tryin’ to snark but really I just HAVE to mention that glorious God-molded-like-Playdo donk”.
Things Cheekie hasn’t figured out:
1. How 2520s define attractiveness. I’m always finding myself o_O-ing a 2520 who swears up and down that so-and-so is so effing hot when frankly, to me, they just look like your average 2520 chick. (i.e. Jennifer Gardner). In fact, she’s only average when her hair is down. When she’s sportin’ a ponytail? She looks like she’s auditioning for Dumbo on Ice.
2. Champ’s deez. Why does he give them out so freely? I mean, you can do anything to them mofos. You can “perplex deez”, you can “frequent deez”, hell, you can even “deez deez”. Those are some versatile arse deez. #perplexed
3. Oh, and another thing about 2520s. What the eff is the big deal about blondes? I mean, even if the chick ain’t all that in the face, her blonde hair ups her count to a melanin-challenged dude. It’s kinda like Black folks with light skin, I guess. *kanyeshrug* It still confuddles me.
4. Flava Flav’s braids. Why can’t they just grow? Them mofos need some beanstalk seeds or some ish. They are forever just in the middle of his head, like there’s a STOP sign in his scalp that is raised once it gets to a certain point talmbout, “HALT! End of the line!”.
5. How Idris Elba managed to get THEE sexiest voice this side of The Wire. God was playing favorites on his born day. That voice does unexplainable things to me. DAYUM.
@Cheekie, “Flava Flav’s braids. Why can’t they just grow?”
OK, if I get fired today I’m coming after yo @ss! (clutch)- you’s a fool!
@Cheekie,
’2. Champ’s deez. Why does he give them out so freely? I mean, you can do anything to them mofos. You can “perplex deez”, you can “frequent deez”, hell, you can even “deez deez”. Those are some versatile arse deez. #perplexed”
Y’all gone STOP making me have uncontrollable fits of laughter before I get fi’aad!!!!!
@Cheekie,
2. Champ’s deez. Why does he give them out so freely? I mean, you can do anything to them mofos. You can “perplex deez”, you can “frequent deez”, hell, you can even “deez deez”. Those are some versatile arse deez. #perplexed
i’m still trying to figure out my deez, myself
@Cheekie,
“How 2520s define attractiveness. ”
Specially when it comes to tushes…I just don’t understand…o_O
@Cheekie, I.Can’t.Breathe
@Cheekie,
Have mercy, I can’t breathe.
@Cheekie, 2. Champ’s deez. Why does he give them out so freely? I mean, you can do anything to them mofos. You can “perplex deez”, you can “frequent deez”, hell, you can even “deez deez”. Those are some versatile arse deez. #perplexed
Awww man, Im laughing mad hard after a lunch, Im gonna fall down these stairs one day SMH LMAO
@Cheekie, 2. Champ’s deez. Why does he give them out so freely? I mean, you can do anything to them mofos. You can “perplex deez”, you can “frequent deez”, hell, you can even “deez deez”. Those are some versatile arse deez. #perplexed
LMAO I also fell down these stairs. Awww man “you can even “deez deez” LMAO
@Cheekie, If I have ever claimed to have “just spit out my coffee” before today, I LIED. Today just 2 seconds after reading cheekie’s comments about beanstalk seeds for Flava Flav’s braids I literally spit out my coffee. Like for real…dribbed down chin, onto white scarf, sprayed on keyboard. I will send you the cleaning bill…it’s cash-mere.
Still, I thank you for this unsolicited laughter.
There’s essentially two things I can not figure out:
1) As a thirty-something male, where am I supposed to meet quality women aside from the club, church, or online?
2) Why are we Americans so offended by matters of nudity, sex, and personal biology? To my knowledge, we are all born in the nude as if that’s how the master designer wanted us to be. Yet people go out of their way to banish any sort of exposure. Why should I have to put on clothes just because you chose to ring my doorbell…and no I don’t want a Watchtower.
Consider “nipple gate”, the 2004 Super Bowl Half-Time show here in Houston where Janet Jackson’s nipple was exposed. How does that come to warrant a $550,000 fine – simply because a darkened, raised surface-area of skin became exposed? We should fine people for having severe acne then; that offends me more. The website for National Go Topless Day showed a photo of a naked breast b-cup breast. It’s not considered offensive simply because when you scroll up, you realize it’s attached to a man; otherwise, it looks the same – hypocrisy!
In Europe it is not uncommon for upper-body nudity to be displayed on regular television or in otherwise public places. The so called “Puritans”, a sect of religious extremists, came to the US with their above and beyond philosophies and 400 years later, we still can’t seem to shake the madness. They developed tablecloths because they thought men would get too excited by seeing the legs of a table. GTFOOHwTBS!!
The subject of sex and sexuality are unnecessarily taboo subjects. Because it’s such taboo, the spread of HIV and teenaged pregnancies are running rampant because we can’t be adult enough to openly speak and educate about it. Not talking about it will not make it go away. As humans we are instinctually driven do it so it’s going to happen regardless of how you try to suppress it. Everyone you see (we’re talking billions of people here) is the product of a sex act, that’s just how life is.
Upthread someone mentioned being taken aback by a VS employee inquiring about her cup size. Why does this need to be something to be embarrassed about moreso than asking a shoe size?
@Caballeroso, P.E.,
1) As a thirty-something male, where am I supposed to meet quality women aside from the club, church, or online?
I was going to say a sushi restaurant, frat, but it seems that hoodrats are eating sushi more and more nowadays, especially in the H.
@ComicBookGuy, “but it seems that hoodrats are eating sushi more and more nowadays”
now that’s just racist…
@Yeah…SO?!,
Come to the H and you will see what I am talking about. Oh yeah, all hoodrats aren’t black, especially in Texas.
@ComicBookGuy,
LMAO.
Are you talking about Kona? hahaha
@ComicBookGuy,
That, Tokyohana and Yao’s. lol
@miss t-lee,
My bad on stealing your name. lol
@ComicBookGuy,
‘da heyll?!?!?hahahah
Dang, I haven’t been to Yao’s since it first opened.
@ComicBookGuy, So true!
@Caballeroso, P.E.,
1) As a thirty-something male, where am I supposed to meet quality women aside from the club, church, or online?
did you try the bus station?
@The Champ,
I don’t know why, but this was very amusing to me. lol
@Caballeroso, P.E., networking events, grocery store, where you carry out whatever hobby you have, co-ed baby showers (maybe not), bookstore, friend referrals…
@Caballeroso, P.E.,
2) Why are we Americans so offended by matters of nudity, sex, and personal biology? To my knowledge, we are all born in the nude as if that’s how the master designer wanted us to be. Yet people go out of their way to banish any sort of exposure. .
I totally agree with this. I just don’t get it.
@Caballeroso, P.E.,
“2) Why are we Americans so offended by matters of nudity, sex, and personal biology? To my knowledge, we are all born in the nude as if that’s how the master designer wanted us to be. Yet people go out of their way to banish any sort of exposure. Why should I have to put on clothes just because you chose to ring my doorbell…and no I don’t want a Watchtower.”
I’ve always wondered this, too. And in contrast, why is violence so much more widely accepted than sex. I mean, you can get away with pretty much anything in terms of violence in movies/TV, but folks are skittish about a nip slip. I mean, it’s telling of a society when something that is meant to create life (sex) is taboo when something that is meant to end life (violence) isn’t.
@Caballeroso, P.E.,
Why are we Americans so offended by matters of nudity, sex, and personal biology? To my knowledge, we are all born in the nude as if that’s how the master designer wanted us to be. Yet people go out of their way to banish any sort of exposure. Why should I have to put on clothes just because you chose to ring my doorbell…and no I don’t want a Watchtower
LOL. Oh God, please tell me this is based off an actual event. Some poor Jehovah Witness missionary rang your door bell one warm Sunday morning morning and was greeted by all your naked glory. That would honestly make my day.
@ofloveandotherdemons, I donned some boxer briefs that left little to the imagination; she appeared shocked just the same.
1) For the life of me I can’t figure out why someone thought it was a good idea to give Michael Eric Dyson a word of the day calendar way back when. This offending person should be found and kicked down that hole from 300.
2) I’m still trying to figure out why Stephen A. Smith wears zoot suits. It’s just sad.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
He is a Steve Harvey disciple now. He is re-inventing himself now to be the holier than thou voice of black males.
Its his new hustle
@thinkaboutit, If this is true he must be kicked down the big ass hole from 300 also. He must be stopped. Could you imagine a convo b/t Steve Harvey’s mustache, Michael Eric Dyson, and Stephen A?
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
Steve would have to be the ref because the other two would try to out-talk the other ending with Stephen A. blasting Dyson for using words that he misconstrues as insults
I’d pay pay-per-view prices to see that
@thinkaboutit, Stephen A. would finish M.E.D off by berating him for quoting Nas and Biggie lyrics when they obviously aren’t needed, called for, or in the proper context for that matter. Stephen A. has his own morning sports show Fox Sports Radio. I listen in five minute bursts so that I don’t overload myself. I turn it to NPR in the mean time to call myself down. Tragic I tell you. Just tragic.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
y’all are soooo funny tonight. I guess I’m in the MINORITY but I love, love, love me some MED and I’ve seen him in action in person one on one or three on one since we were out to dinner with others. I love words, the man is like a walking game of Scrabble…
Fefe kind of reminds me of Joan Jett too. I didn’t realize Fefe was around until about two months ago.
why is people abuse the phase “grown and sexy”…
i also don’t get why people go out of their way to spell the simplest ish wrong! If I kept spelling “do” like “dew”, “that” like “dat”, and “good” like “gud” I personally would forget the real spelling!
@ Smiley Face and Yeah So
I’d never get one of those things!! They are hideous and I just wonder if it’s supposed to look fake. Like is that apart of the allure to pasting a quick weave to your head.
@ Panama
STOP…please…I’ll have that song in my head all day. I’m glad I found another person who can be honest and say they don’t know what the hell Maxwell is talking about. Everybody else tries to stunt.
things panama ain’t quite figured out:
1) why folks hit YOU up on IM and then don’t say sh*t for 30 minutes AND THEN come back like a regular convo has been going on for the whole time…
2) how exactly when trying to pick a rap name, one ends up at Wacka Flocka Flame…
3) why platinum has made it so far on for the love of ray j2 and just how in the f*ck a woman who doesn’t speak english almost managed to make it to the top 3. she’s not even hot AND SHE DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH…
4) why “Love That Girl” the new show from Martin and exec produced by Raphael Saadiq (tha f*ck?) starring Tatyana Ali is SO bad. every person on that show is the worst version of themselves as actors/actresses. it’s really bad…but who greenlit that sh*t? i know its TVOne but damn.
@Panama Jackson,
“2) how exactly when trying to pick a rap name, one ends up at Wacka Flocka Flame…”
I heard the explanation and it still didn’t make sense…lmao
@Panama Jackson,
“2) how exactly when trying to pick a rap name, one ends up at Wacka Flocka Flame…”
Yeah, and his “hit” song makes just as much sense. I feel like I’m solving an unscramble puzzle when listenin’ to his joint on the radio. I mean, are those actual WORDS?
@Panama Jackson,
4) why “Love That Girl” the new show from Martin and exec produced by Raphael Saadiq (tha f*ck?) starring Tatyana Ali is SO bad. every person on that show is the worst version of themselves as actors/actresses. it’s really bad…but who greenlit that sh*t? i know its TVOne but damn.
Ahhhhhhhhh I caught that show last night and ended up wasting 30 minutes of my life. Tatiana Ali has the worst acting, and she’s the star! Then there’s the worst stereotype of a stereotypical hood chick in the history of hood chicks and stereotypes. The only saving grace is the guy who plays Ali’s brother… and even his jokes are forced. That show is headed to Homeboys in Outer Space status.
@SouthernCharm, yeah, when i saw it all i could think of was how bad it was thru and thru. not one real redeeming quality. who the f*ck wrote it? white people who dont know black people?
@Panama Jackson,
yeah, that what i was thinking too. i’m watching the show thinking, “this is horrible.” yet, i felt compelled to keep watching in hopes that something good would come from it. it’s like a 30 min, episodic, gospel play.
@Panama Jackson,
3) why platinum has made it so far on for the love of ray j2 and just how in the f*ck a woman who doesn’t speak english almost managed to make it to the top 3. she’s not even hot AND SHE DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH…
this is one of life’s great mysterious. seriously, she’s the first chick i would have kicked off the show
@The Champ, actually the first chicks he did kick off definitely needed to go first. but she would have definitely been gone long ago.
@Panama Jackson, “why folks hit YOU up on IM and then don’t say sh*t for 30 minutes AND THEN come back like a regular convo has been going on for the whole time…”
…you should ask yourself that question.
@Miss Patterson, ask deez.
OK ok. Part deux…
1. What’s up with the women who wear those mini-jackets that look like it belonged to them since they were 6 when its cold outside? o_O Then be trying to use those pockets that sit right near their arm pits. Then look at me all f*cked up because I have a coat that looks like I killed Mufasa and threw him on my back… B*tch it’s snowing!
2. Why in every comment box are there two “Reply” links?
3. Why can’t us black people be well known for stuff other than sports and comedy?!?!
4. Really though… Why does facebook have the suggestion box for you to contact people you haven’t talked to in a while ON facebook? Like: “Send Jane a message”
@MeteorMan,
YES @ #1. I be lookin’ at chicks like, don’t your booty got frostbite? I mean, eff lookin’ cute. This here Chicago. I really can’t deal with the 40+ women wearing those Baby Phat/Rocawear/Dereon Mini Me coats. Like, um, stop shopping at The Children’s Place and get a real coat.
And @ #4. Stop with the suggestions, Facebook. If I cared enough to send a message, I would’ve thought about it on my own. Feels like someone is tappin’ me on the shoulder all, “Hey, here’s an idea….”. NO.
@Cheekie,
>>>YES @ #1. I be lookin’ at chicks like, don’t your booty got frostbite? I mean, eff lookin’ cute. This here Chicago. I really can’t deal with the 40+ women wearing those Baby Phat/Rocawear/Dereon Mini Me coats. Like, um, stop shopping at The Children’s Place and get a real coat.<<<
This comment = f*cking GOLD. You don't know how many times I feel like telling these girls to find a coat to cover their asses. Like I can't see your teeth chattering from here.
Chi-town represent!
@MeteorMan,
“1. What’s up with the women who wear those mini-jackets that look like it belonged to them since they were 6 when its cold outside? o_O Then be trying to use those pockets that sit right near their arm pits. Then look at me all f*cked up because I have a coat that looks like I killed Mufasa and threw him on my back… B*tch it’s snowing!”
LMAO!!!!…I hate you for this!!!
@ the world
I can’t for the life of me figure out why Ms. Rhianna covered “Redemption Song”…Her heart was in the right place,I suppose…but I’ve heard great renditions by Johnny Cash, Lauryn and Ziggy of course and all of these individuals sing it like their life depends on it and they can actually sing…
E for effort?
@KayBeezy,
I really dont understand why any of these new ‘artists’ try to cover classics. Like when ALL those covers of ‘A Change is Gonna Come’ after Obama was elected. I was like, oh HELL no, you’re not Sam Cooke, so stop. Or when Chris Brown redid ‘This Christmas,’ I was like, boy you better back up OFF of Donny. Now.
It will almost always end up in failure to people who know the original. the sad part is, most of these kids who were born in the 90′s (who i dont trust simply because they were born in the 90s) dont know no better. Too bad. So sad.
@Captain Morgan,
New music sux monkey gonad.
@Captain Morgan,
Or when Chris Brown redid ‘This Christmas,’ I was like, boy you better back up OFF of Donny. Now.
Nobody can touch that song but Donny. If I ever forgot that, listening to that song every Christmas would remind me.
*Rihanna
Sorry, I misspelled her name.
*realized my list of thing I don’t understand us similar to my “Tell em’ why you mad, son!” list*
1. I never figured out people who decide something (legal and not life jeopardizing for anyone) that may not work for them, can maken a personal choice not to have in in their life but then make a point to make sure NOBODY can have it in their life either. What kind of sh*t?
2. I agree with Cheekie and can not understand 2520′s standard of beauty either.
3. Mr. Kay I agree and I don’t know why Plies has a record deal either.
4. Why someone hasn’t ran up on PETA and whooped they mutha****** a**es. Comparing animal cruelty to slavery and the holocaust with the very offensive ads is the #1 reason they need to be kicked until they fall asleep, but running up on people and throwin paint/blood on them, or the president of PETA being against the same animal testing that keeps her alive (she’s diabetic and needs insulin)? Trying to tell people they can’t do something that is perfectly legal, just cause they perosnally don’t agree with it? I like animals too, but I prefer The Humane Society.
5. How Kathy Griffin doesn’t have jokes but stands on stage and just tell stories about something she saw or experienced for an hour. I can tell you about my day and have you rollin’ too! I also don’t understand how she called one of her comedy specials “Strong Black Woman” o_O.
6. Why people thinking black folks liking rock music is new, novel, or makes them different. We always did! Run DMC didn’t say they were the King of Rap. They said they were the King of Rock! Many of the most influential rockers were black..ex.. Hendrix, Bad Brains.
7. People saying Lil’ Wayne is the best rapper ever. GTFOOHWTBS!
8. Nikki Menaj. Maybe I just don’t know enough to understand…but she got an album with that verse on “Bedrock”. Really?
@legitimate_soul,
“8. Nikki Menaj. Maybe I just don’t know enough to understand…but she got an album with that verse on “Bedrock”. Really?’
Her lyrics are elementary as hell. Don’t get it.
@Cheekie,
Nicki Menaj has a phat arse and looks like these Rativas (Rat + fake divas) out here so I guess she’s “hot.” I fail to see the hotness though…the only thing I see her winning with is her presence but her lyrics…eh…
@Cheekie,
^I’m saying. Sometimes I wish some people would pull a KRS-One and just pull wack people off the stage. That’s what PE meant when they said “Bumrush the Show”. To quote the late comedian Robin Harris: “gotta go, gotta go !” (you gotta remember Robin Harris!)
@legitimate_soul,
You’d be hearing about a bumrush every weekend.
@ComicBookGuy, word life young!! LOL
@legitimate_soul,
Why someone hasn’t ran up on PETA and whooped they mutha****** a**es. .
IF I wore real fur and someone ran up on me flinging red paint on MY SH*T, I would beat a mofo’s azz. And I am so sincere. It’s just ridiculously disrespectful. It’s almost on the same level of spitting. When I black out and snap, I can not be held responsible for my actions.
@V Renee,
“And I am so sincere.”
Thank you.
It would be a done deal. I know that much.
@V Renee, they should go to jail for that bs… isn’t that like defacing private property or sumthin?
@Yeah…SO?!,
I’d prefer whooping azz. Jail isn’t punishment enough. Lol
@V Renee, no I’m sayin after I kick dey @ss I’m pressin charges… they would
@V Renee,
‘Xactly. I don’t wear real fur either, but PETA betta stay in them 2520 suburbs talmbout throwin paint. Like Kelis wrote in her letter to them (it’s on Bossip somewhere, but it is AWESOME), let them try that ish in the hood.
@Cheekie,
But on the real PETA knows who to mess with.
You notice they ain’t never ran up on Mary J. or Aretha….lmao
*I honestly don’t believe Kelis would bust a grape…but her letter was entertaining.
@miss t-lee,
“But on the real PETA knows who to mess with.
You notice they ain’t never ran up on Mary J. or Aretha….lmao”
You ain’t neva lied.
@miss t-lee,
I know who they DID run up on, and she gets a F- for how she handled it. Name starts with a B and ends with a lions mane*. LOL
Please note I ? this person, but still. I feel like her nephew would have handled the situation better than her. I mean damn, at least kick a chair over.
1. Why has John Singleton made a Black Panther (the comic book character) movie? I mean the guy beat up Captain America one on one and beat the Fantastic Four single handedly. He’s an African king and super intelligent. If any character deserves a movie, he does.
2. Why do some black people from Division 1-A schools look down on black people from HBCUs? I mean, it’s bad enough have show 2520s our school on a map, but to get side eyed from a black Texas A&M or Baylor graduate makes me want to commit black on black crime.
3. Why are people always looking for the easy way out ALL the time? Bust your ass like most of us have to and you will enjoy the fruits of your labor just a little bit more.
4. Why don’t grown people ever want to learn anything new?
5. Why do people talk on the phone while at working out? Talking with a Bluetooth and lifting weights does not make you look cool and you probably don’t make as money as Diddy to be doing it or would have your own gym and personal trainer.
6. Why do people wait in line for the water fountains at the gym for one water fountain when there is another one right next to it? I mean, really. We all stink right now. Get over it and go to the other fountain.
7. Why do new rappers say that they are bringing something different to the game and end up sounding like everyone else they are trying to be different from?
@ComicBookGuy,
2. Why do some black people from Division 1-A schools look down on black people from HBCUs? I mean, it’s bad enough have show 2520s our school on a map, but to get side eyed from a black Texas A&M or Baylor graduate makes me want to commit black on black crime.
slavery
@ComicBookGuy,
1. I agree on #1….plus he (Black Panther) clowns the hell outta Tony Starks and is on par with him technology-wise. The states ain’t fuggin’ with Wakanda technology, lol!
2. I don’t understand anyone, especially anyone black, turning their nose up at any HBCU.
@legitimate_soul,
That’s what I’m talking about. All of the Avengers Quinjets where made with Wakandan technology. Whenever one of them breaks down, he sends Wakandan engineers to fix them. It’s always good to find someone that knows about T’Challa.
@ComicBookGuy,
You think Black Panther may appear in the live action Avengers film first and they may make a movie later?
@legitimate_soul,
It would be cool, but wishful thinking. I am looking forward to the Thor movie. Marvel has been starting to get it right lately with some of their movies. Iron Man resurrected Robert Downey Jr’s career. Black Panther would need his own movie.
@ComicBookGuy, to be honest I don’t think John Singleton would do T’Challa (I’m a ComicBookGuy as well) justice.
@ComicBookGuy,
1) I agree with you about a Black Panther movie. If Singleton does it I’m praying he doesn’t get Tyrese involved. All he has to do is cast Djimon Hounsu as T’Challa, Angela Basset as his mom, and Sophie Okonedo as his sister and we’ve got a good movie. Whatever became of the Luke Cage movie?
2) I went to a lily white mid-major (College of Charleston) and I’m always happy to see brothers with degrees. South Carolina is weird because we only have one public HBCU.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
Tyrese needs to stay as far away from that possibility as he can. There are plenty African actors that can do a better job than him.
@ComicBookGuy, There’s talk of a reboot to the FF franchise so maybe Panther can get a part in that.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
You know, that would make sense, since right after the whole Silver Surfer/Galactus thing in the comics back in the 60s, they introduced the Black Panther. That would be cool.
Why do people go out of their way to spell words wrong?
Ex: Todai I lyke musik becuz I hav a radio.
WTF is the point?!!! All you have to do is add a “y” to “today”. Adding an “i” doesn’t save you time.
@La Bakir, LMAO. i agree wholeheartedly.
Intentional mispelling is for bytchez.
@La Bakir,
I always imagine it to be MORE time consuming. It seems like one has to take extra time to TyPe lYkE ThIs or subsitute i’s with y’s. In fact, typing like that just wasted precious VSB reading time.
@La Bakir,
I seriously put up a FB status yesterday questioning this very same thing. For the life of my I can’t figure out if R.Kelly/Fantasia are posing as my FB friends or if ninjas are just doing this intentionally. And if so, WHY?!?!?!?!?
@V Renee, LMAO!!! I can’t! that was funny as hell!
Yesterday I told one of the guys whom I used to mentor to please stop spelling words wrong intentionally b/c he’s in college now.
This ninja told me that’s his “text talk”
I got alot:
1) I haven’t figure out the difference between nigga or nigger: changing the spelling of “er” to an “a” is not gonna change the history or the affect the word has. Can’t people just be honest and say “I use the word nigga, cause niggaz exist!!” *sigh*
2) I haven’t figure out why some black people hated soulja boy soo much: The kid makes one song with a dance that was addictive as a snow cone in july. Then a couple months later he is put on the “People whose holding us back” list. He makes songs for teens/tweens and copies whatever mainstream rapper of the month does.
3) I havn’t figure out what “acting black” means: Really wtf is acting black??? What is acting white??? Did anyone make list i can use for references
4) I haven’t figure out why 2520′s want to touch my llocks: Seriously, this is not Petco! I’m not a social project or “black people” zoo that you can put your hands on without asking. Its creepy.
4) I haven’t figure out why people would go protest for conan getting kick off his show but their is a lack of enthusiasm demanding Big Banks to explain their spending practices and putting people in debt. For crying out loud their millionaires, they’ll be fine. How about a march for the 50% unemployment rate in Detroit.
5) I haven’t figure out why is the KKK is not getting the same treatment as other terrorist Organizations on “the war on terror”: In some states, they could sponsor highways. WTF FBI/CIA/Homeland security!!!!!
6) I haven’t figure out why I don’t have a cool yt friend: You know the one Im talking about. That guy/gal who talks about how much they like nickelback even when you make fun of them for it. Who would actually listen to you when it comes to convos about race, sex, and class. Who punch the crap out of someone if they played you out cus of what you are. Read VSB everyday. Wish i had one of them *sigh*
7) I haven’t figure out why people Hate/disappointed with Obama: I always have this blank look on my face when people complaint about what Obama “promise” us. Last time I remember he never said “I promise to do this, that, and the third” when he ran. I don’t get it what some people were expecting him to accomplish in one year. The Brotha not getting any help from the right and the left is soooo slow on the progress bottom that I’m surprise he hasn’t started smacking people in smacking dems and reps on CNN every night.
@Mr. Gundam,
4) I haven’t figure out why 2520’s want to touch my llocks: Seriously, this is not Petco! I’m not a social project or “black people” zoo that you can put your hands on without asking. Its creepy.
amen…..
5) I haven’t figure out why is the KKK is not getting the same treatment as other terrorist Organizations on “the war on terror”: In some states, they could sponsor highways. WTF FBI/CIA/Homeland security!!!!!
Cops ain’t gonna report on themselves…
@Mr. Gundam,
5) I haven’t figure out why is the KKK is not getting the same treatment as other terrorist Organizations on “the war on terror”
because the kkk aint sh*t, and hasn’t been sh*t since morris dees and the splc took all of their money.
@Mr. Gundam,
I haven’t figure out why some black people hated soulja boy soo much: .
Thank you for this comment. This seriously perplexes me.
Things I just haven’t figured out yet:
Why do I need ID to get ID? If I had ID, I wouldn’t need ID! (circa Mos Def)
The fetus that is growing on Delonte West’s upper lip. I mean it LOOKS like herpes, but…
Why chicks with big butts walk past a guy (or group of guys) and then attempt to pull down the back of their shirts like that alone is going to cover up those tangible assets… and I’m still gonna look
The Jay-Z devil worshipper rumors… They keep trying to tie Jay-Masons-Illuminati-Devil together. First of all, the Mason-Illuminati-Devil rumor is older than Jay-Z himself. And if Masons worship the devil then a lot of black baptist preachers in the South have some ‘splainin to do!
How Shanae Hall ended up on Speedy’s Comedy Corner
Why Joe Budden doesn’t get more props
Chicks whose main interests include listening to r&b/neo soul/gospel, romantic comedies & tyler perry movies, and zane/eric jerome dickey books. Sounds like they were cloned from the same woman.
Talib Kweli’s voice
Sarah Palin fans… she didn’t know there was a North & South Korea and referred to Joe Biden as “O’Biden.” Just say you don’t like black people, and I’ll understand.
Lauren London having Lil Wayne’s kid. That broke my heart.
The movie Breach. I love spy/government conspiracy movies, but this movie had to have been one of the most depressing movies I have ever seen.
Rasheed Wallace’s patch on the top of his head. I mean it was there when he was at UNC. It was there in Washington. It was there in Portland. I vaguely remember it in Detroit. But I can’t recall seeing that mugg lately. I need clarification and closure on this.
How Brett Favre is playing at such a high level at freakin’ 40+ yrs old! He must be on that Tahitian Noni juice.
Asian women… and Indian women. Once was at a club in Nashville where these types were everywhere. Due to the lack of sistas, these groups won by default. However, they moved, danced, stood still, migrated in large groups and had choreographed dodge moves for any brotha approaching… and I’m a pretty nice lookin’ brotha! Did the OJ trial burn them? Did they have a bad experience with an aggressive thug-C Murda type?
Nuvo… Why is this the product placement flavor of the month? I don’t even think it’s real liquor… and it’s probably infused with estrogen.
How to react when a 2520 asks, “Are you staying out of trouble?” Is it just something older folks ask? Maybe I’m just on edge. Yes, I’m staying out of trouble. No I’m not planning on any drive-by’s, burglaries, or thinking about selling a couple oz’s. Just tryna get my coffee!
@SouthernCharm,
“Sarah Palin fans… she didn’t know there was a North & South Korea and referred to Joe Biden as “O’Biden.” Just say you don’t like black people, and I’ll understand.”
Word. I love that video of Sarah Palin fans standing in line at her book signing. When asked what policies she stands for (i.e. what the eff they’re supporting her), they couldn’t. And one lady basically agreed to racial profiling.
@Cheekie,
yeah, it’s like these people went out and saw Head of State or Man of the Year, and thought that crap could happen in real life… except we got stuck with a dumber version.
@Cheekie, Uh how bout they’re all a bunch of AIRHEADS!… One of my co-workers is a HUGE Palin supporter and let’s just say she is to intelligent what Champ deez are to reality, non-existent (hee hee)
@Yeah…SO?!,
“and let’s just say she is to intelligent what Champ deez are to reality, non-existent (hee hee)”
*high five*
@SouthernCharm, “Talib Kweli’s voice” -seriously? … something is wrong with ya’ll today…
yeah, but what is that about tho?
@Yeah…SO?!,
oh don’t get me wrong. i think talib is lyrical and has skills… his voice is just annoying.
@SouthernCharm, no I was being sarcastic… his voice makes me want to punch a baby, but I love his music tho
@Yeah…SO?!,
my bad… reading too fast. lol… yeah, sounds like he’s holding his breath when he’s spittin’
@Yeah…SO?!,
I don’t feel Talib Kweli either. He has improved lately but early and in the middle of his career he rhymed like he was fighting the beat.
@Humble_One, I honestly didn’t start liking him for real til Ear Drum, like he was on my radar but – eh.
@Yeah…SO?!,
EAR DRUM!! Please run, don’t walk, to your
nearest neighborhood record storefavorite download site and get The Black Star album.That is all
@Humble_One, me neither..I like that one song tho “this morning I woke up, feeling brand new, I jumped up etc etc”
That “Get By” joint LOL
@OrangeStar616,
Honestly, “Hot Thang”, “Four Women” (I love Nina Simone) and “Ms. Hill” made me like Talib more. Don’t get me wrong, I always knew he had skill, but his voice bothered me too. Funny thing, in Dave Chapelle’s Block Party where he was performing “live” his voice sounded way better!
@SouthernCharm,
Why Joe Budden doesn’t get more props
some people just have a “i’m a b*tch ass nigga” aura about them that doesnt let people really get behind them. he’s one of them
@The Champ,
Throw Young Berg, Lil Zane, and Bow Wow in that group.
@The Champ,
and yet ray-j has a show? lol… i feel you but budden is dope.
@The Champ, lyrically he nice, nicer than I orginally thought, but you right he has them BA tendencies and that incident with Rae nem etc didn’t help dude LLS nor his stunts with them brawds , that mofo need to stay off camera on the internet period and STFU for a min…
some people the less they say the better (outside of their profession), i.e Gilbert Arenas another one whose cools points are null and void, based on diarrhea of the mouth…SMH
I was gonna say some folk have talent are blessed with intelligence etc but lack charisma, that “it” factor etc and Talib falls in that fold
@SouthernCharm,
“Why chicks with big butts walk past a guy (or group of guys) and then attempt to pull down the back of their shirts like that alone is going to cover up those tangible assets… and I’m still gonna look”
Yeah, this makes no sense. If anything, it draws more attention to it. Pulling the shirt down over the ass to hide it? Naw, now you’re just a girl with a big ass and an abnormally shaped shirt.
@SouthernCharm,
“The Jay-Z devil worshipper rumors… They keep trying to tie Jay-Masons-Illuminati-Devil together. First of all, the Mason-Illuminati-Devil rumor is older than Jay-Z himself. And if Masons worship the devil then a lot of black baptist preachers in the South have some ’splainin to do!”
I can’t believe this nonsense. You tell and show n***as the truth and provide evidence and they don’t buy it. But tell them celebrities worship the devil and they buy it 100%. Jay-Z has been in the game for 20 years and been known for the last 14 years. Now that he is the wealthiest and most popular rapper he woships the devil? GTFOH
@Humble_One,
exactly.
and Obama is the antichrist lol
@SouthernCharm, “Lauren London having Lil Wayne’s kid. That broke my heart.”
Anyone having Lil Wayn’es kid breaks mine…I just don’t get it *SIGH
@bajanflchick,
^Me neither! Weezy and that grill looks like the Donnie Darko rabbit. Truth.
I hate commenting late…
but things I havent figured out
why grateful is not spelled greatful?
people who dont know how to curse…
why is it that a person can talk a lot of shyt but If I hit them, Im wrong?
how to make that annoying sound to scratch my throat
why dudes think the tongue in the ear thing is sexy.
why is there no laws or limits on plastic surgery? i mean I feel it should be a crime to make people look like lil kim and joan rivers.. I definitely feel as If I’ve been assaulted everytime I look at them…
@shay_d_lady,
why is it that a person can talk a lot of shyt but If I hit them, Im wrong? .
ROTFLMAO
@shay_d_lady,
why dudes think the tongue in the ear thing is sexy.
slavery
@The Champ,
lmfao. You’re gonna have to cease with this foolery.
@Cheekie, LMAO
tounge in the ear…eh, not really a fan.
This dude randomly did that shit to me…and he bit my ear.
I was kinda grossed out b/c once his saliva dried…I could smell it on my ear :/
@La Bakir,
I could smell it on my ear :/
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
I can’t stand it when chicks do that, too. That is not a good feeling at all.
@shay_d_lady,
The tongue in the ear thing works for me…am I the only one?
@INFJgurl, YAAASSSSS!
@INFJgurl,
Ur not the only one. My girl does that sh!t and she’s beasty with it.
See here’s the proper ingredients for an earf^ck…
tbsp of sh!t talking
tsp of sucking noises
hint of tongue action…
Enjoy
@The Hallway, ehhh..
to each his own
that description made me want to vomit…
but if it works for you
what the heck is “2520″? *exposes lameness*
@La Bakir,
Look at the alphabet. Find the 25th and 20th letters. Then put it together… lol
@La Bakir,
This reminds me: I haven’t figured out what there isn’t a VSB FAQ page. It would help tremendously. I had to ask what CP3 meant before so I feel folks who are lost around these parts.
Oh, to answer your question (sorry, I’m goin’ off on a tangent and ish):
2520 = 25th letter of alphabet plus 20th letter of alphabet. Which is Y.T. Say it out loud.
@Cheekie,
LOL!!!! Thank you so much! I literally said and out loud and started cracking up.
Oh, and what is CP3 while we’re at it
@La Bakir,
cp3 are nicknames for professional basketball stars chris paul and candice parker. although we like chris paul, candice is “our favorite cp3″ (although i think she has more than a b cup actually)
@The Champ,
Gotcha…and thanks! Although I’ll have to go w/ Chris Paul as my fav CP3
thank y’all…..whoooo shit…it’s a good day….
*still cryin*
Can’t figure out Charlie Sheen’s career.
Dude snorts blow, bangs prostitutes and beats women. Yet he has a television show on CBS, the official old folks network. And he makes movies. This makes no sense. How does this happen besides the obvious answer of “He white.”
@Big Man,
his daddy.
I just think black women go thru alot to live up to european images concerning hair.
In this case, maybe the problem is not so much what is ON our head, but what is IN our head (shout out to Joe Clark). In other words, we should stop trying to “live up” to these images and define beauty for ourselves.
I’m still trying to figure out when this imaginary VSB bbq is going to take place. I should just give up hope huh?
LOL nope!! it’s coming…
@Liz, *clears calendar*
@Liz,
I’m really really trying to keep hope alive. Lol
i just had to post again to give a general co-sign to some of the things people have posted. Plus, I had to give the Champ his props about Paul Pierce. His cut is never crispy! NEVA! *said like DMX in “Belly” when asked the last time he read a book….I, on the otherhand, LOVE to read by the way*
Lovin’ ur post VSB.
Still haven’t figured out:
- why men don’t know what or where a clitoris is
- Why men are quick to call women hoes, but hate to mess with virgins
- What men consider a “good man”
- To the above, why men are always trying to tell women how to act when they don’t have their *ish together? (i.e. broke men calling women golddiggers, there’s no gold to dig)
- Why old men, like Charlie Wilson, rock cornrows, wife beaters, plaid shirts, and saggy pants? You’re old enough 2 know better
- Why “thick men” hate “thick women” but “skinny” dudes crush the thickest chicks and “skinny” chicks love thick dudes
- why black ppl swear up and down that racism doesn’t exist, and then act surprised when they see a noose or a police execution of an unarmed black man
@Cherry_Darling,
What men are you meeting that dnt know where a clitoris is? DO tell
@Cherry_Darling,
*raising hand*
why thick chicks like skinny dudes
(they’re flexible)
why skinny dudes like thick chicks
(we’re warm and cuddly, especially in wintertime)
yes, she’s the one.
*if this citing doesn’t work, I think I can put citing as some ish I can’t figure out :/
Why there isn’t an age limit to being a gangmember. I mean really…when you get past a certain age it’s just foolish to spell “locked” as “locced” or wear red tracks in your hair and be known by a terribly ignorant street moniker.
I havent figured out how any of the VSBs and VSSs are getting any work done with today’s ridiculousness on this here blog. I am struggling.
That orgasm this is a mystery to me too…sometimes they’re easy to get other times it seems almost impossible…with no consistency it’s pretty hard to explain the mechanics to another person…..
as for the ogling of the assets pictured…I would totally understand if my man took pause to take all of that in….I would pause and stare at that too….but honestly I generally don’t care that much about a dude looking at other women…it would only bug me if it resulted in him ignoring me….but if they let me in on what they’re ogling we can compare observations…..I get a kick out of taking in the people around me too…..my ex used to get upset about my tendency to stare now that I think about
* waves at everone*
i cant figure out why ‘the game’ is so popular. i thought it was uber lame and the acting ( overacting) SUCKED. Not to mention it was more stereotypical than the mandingo myth.
@michelle, I actually liked the game during the first season before they made it a dramedy….after they changed the writing I could barely take it….it was just too much for me….
@klysha, i do think it gradually got worse but i still never got the appeal of the show. i wanted it to be good but it wasn’t.
* kanye shrug.* then again i don’t understand people who like love jones.
meh.
@michelle, Oh my…Love Jones is my movie! Maybe it’s because I used to have a huge crush on Larenze Tate’s miniature self
@michelle,
oh no did you just malign “love jones”
I love that movie!!!
When “that” girl walks by, I look. My girl knows Im still a heterosexual male, and if I didn’t look, there would be something wrong. At some point she was that girl that “walked by” too….
1. Cannot figure out why “Friday Night Lights” isn’t the top-rated show on TV since it manages to combine traditional American values with a multiracial cast, realistic portrayals of small-town life and has the hottest 2520 MILF on Planet Earth as it’s star – Connie Britton I heart you! (But this goes back to 2520 standards of beauty…she’s a freckled redhead who doesn’t botox and so looks sexy and natural to me)
2. Why Vivica Fox and Li’l Kim thought plastic surgery would improve their looks
3. Why people don’t realize that Queen Latifah is absolutely and obviously gay by now
4. What Djimon Hounsou ever saw in KLS
5. Why single black women who say they want black men don’t get a passport or head to Caribana
5. Why athletes like Gilbert Arenas, Pacman Jones, The Vick Brothers and Plaxico Burrus, Donte Stallworth etc., etc., etc., fuck up careers and money the average brother would shoot them dead with a quickness to have
6. Why new or out of wedlock pussy is so good that men will lose empires, fortunes, careers, reputation, family and sometimes their lives (“Snapped” is a great cautionary tale) just to get in one (or a few) I mean it’s some good ass dick out here, but I’m not about to lose dollars or any significant shit over it (*waves at Sheila Dixon*….)
7. Why some black folks are just so ignorant – seriously nobody ever taught you NOTHIN’?
8. Why men think that paying child support is so bad – don’t they realize they really wouldn’t have any money is those rugrats they keep poppin’ out lived with them? Not to mention the mental drain of raising kids (moms and dads out there, much respect!)
9. Why other black women think that baby mamas/ex-wives of superstars shouldn’t get what they deserve by law. If your man made $20 mill shouldn’t his seed be entitled to 17%? The people who say it’s not baby mama support, it’s child support, well, shouldn’t the custodial parent have what she needs to take care of herself since she’s RAISING the kid? And if your baby mama/ex-wife didn’t work the whole time she was with dude, you think she’s going to start working now? Obviously he was OK with it when they were together?
10. What people see in reality TV. Is your own life just not exciting enough that you are caught up in these shows to the extent that you actually think that this shit is real in any way, shape or form? Or is this just a modern spin on soap operas?
I have more, but that will do….
7.
@empirestategirl, was just talking about #9 the other day. A dude was mad that Kelis was getting so much money from Nas….and I was like the ninja can obviously afford it and why would he want to short his kid and the woman raising his kid. But then I also know a guy who pays $500 a month in child support for his two kids and thinks he’s getting robbed…I’m like seriously dude…you shell out a measly $500 and pick the kids up once a week but you can come and go as you please without having to get a sitter, and you don’t have to deal with the day to day trials of child rearing…STFU with your sorry arse.
@ What to do when you’re with your girl and.. this walks past.
If your girl has a smaller butt, look at the temptress with a negatively surprised face and say: ” damn. what’s too much is too much.”
If your girl has a bigger butt: “you should wear tighter pants. you could give this chick a run for her money.” your girl will call you a sexist pig, while feeling very flattered.
Or just accidentally squirt some lemon in your eyes, it’s easier.
I haven’t figured out the sick day. I mean if you are really, REALLY sick…doesn’t it take longer than a day to get over it? One of the kats on my job took a sick day yesterday, but now he is back full force like he has adamantium organs…and when you call in sick for one day and come back the very next, who do you REALLY think you are foolin?
They should call it sick “I just don’t feeling like coming in today, but by law you are not required to say sh*t if I call it a sick” day.
How ninjas is still rockin white chicks like its the 80′s??
Why no matter where you are from at some point in your life some one around you was called an African Booty Scratcher…WTF is that …and how did every kid around America use it as a joke
Why I have to submit a resume then fill out a questionairre with all the info from my resume
Why are Chik Fil A sandwiches so good
Why do people take Sarah Palin seriously
Who the hell made curse words….. what really elevated FUCK to upper echelon of disrespect
Besides the price what really makes Prada, LV ,and Gucci that special if it is not couture shit (everyone I know has prada sneakers myself included)