241 thoughts on “Sh*t Diva Dudes Say To Bougie Black Girls: The Video”

  4. lmao. I fawking can not!!! so relevant. . . “I dont really do black girls”. . . “bytch please, I dont forget”. . . “Ethiopian leather”

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  5. Pure HILARITY! :D

    That’s my bday twin right there! Gem is a riot!! I didn’t know she was THAT funny.

    I don’t even know where to begin with what had me ROFL… the singing part had me crying.

    May diva dudes everywhere be ashame after this.

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  9. “did you use all my peppermint soap…where’s my Jergens cherry almond lotion!?” HAHAHA!

    Cherry almond used to really be the ish a couple yrs back before they changed the formula & bottle.

    and that long a** fancy a** name! Lol. Cute. Thanks!

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  12. tooooo funny!
    Gem is hilarious.

    that reservation… idied.

    bytch please, ion forget.

    lmboooo. i know far too many diva dudes. i’ve dated some of them too. ew.

    great video.

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      • I would admit that i’m probably 35% diva dude and that part is 100%. Remember that song “back then you didn’t want me, now i’m hot – you all on me.” That might be the diva dude anthem. Except that song is almost celebratory, whilst the diva dude is still bitter.

        The chip on the diva dude’s shoulder is large. For little reason. A legitimate diva dude should be educated and have a somewhat successful career at the least. But the chip remains.

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    • that’s the only one i admit to thinking…

      i mean getting played at that 6th grade dance hurt my soul, and gave me a winter of struggle…#LeBronShrug lol

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  16. I luv how he used such an odd & exact number for the price of the tie! Not $100, not 90, but ninety FIVE! Rotflmmfaooooo

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  17. You know you wanna feature Celtics post-game intvs, quit frontin’ Champ! (that’s another way of saying I’ll watch this after I come down from the game)… :)

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  18. Naw but for real, this mf said “harvest festival”.

    Harvest mf Festival.

    Hit the lights on your way out, I am completely gone. LOL

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    • Omg I noticed this…but didn’t really take note of its significance till now! hilarious! Where Im from is “country” and we have stuff like “harvest fest”. Any negro coming up out of there, earning some degrees, and living in the city would probably become a diva dude. And yes, still mad that you said no to the school dance with him…now all women have to pay. lol.

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  19. OMG lolololol so funny and true!!! So glad I’m out of the dating game. I think all black men these days with a degree, decent job, etc. are gradually turning into diva dudes. My brother is 25, doesn’t date, just has ‘friends’ When I was home over the holidays, I asked him if he has a gf. He’s like, ‘nah, these chicks only want me for my money’ mind you – he’s unemployed. Sigh…. so it begins

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  23. Ethiopian leather? Is that like Corinthian leather?
    I almost fell out at Gem singing Drake and arranging flowers.
    That “lower 48″ joke was so true. I’ve met guys who want to know the specific part of the state/county/city you’re from before trying to holla

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  24. does this mean i can finally be famous?!?!?!?! ive been waitin for my big break for a lonnnnnnnnng time LOL

    yo, my parents watched the video. my daddy said i could pass for el debarge or prince. and that i looked like a pretty white boy. CTFU wow dad really?

    my mom was completely tickled by my transformation. even mylife long bestie said she didnt know it was me when she 1st saw the video (i didnt tell anyone about it until i shared the link). not sure whether i like being told “you make sure a cute dude” lol. thanks?

    despite all the hilariously ridiculous lines i uttered, my FAVORITE part of the video (besides making it, of course) is my roomie’s/co-star’s look at the end when i tell her its the last time i pay for her parking. lmbo #priceless.

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  26. ” You gon say no to me when I ask you to the prom, the homecoming dance, the 8th grade semi-formal…and now you wanna be my facebook friend? B*tch please…I don’t forget.” lmao! what’s up with those odd *ss captions though? lol

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  27. Hi-la-ri-ty! Spot on.

    But…where is the scene where he’s frolicking with his Kappa…[cough]…fraternity brothers? Maybe even party walking during happy hour? No? Oh.

    Also, there needs to be a scene of him taking vanity shots for 20 min with his iPhone before heading out, and then posting them on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram with the caption:”#swagmeout”

    No shots fired, promise.

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      • LMAO!!!! #DEAD Sadly we never made it to that point (well sad for him not for me)
        When “you” found out I was celibate you threw and fit and ran out my house.

        It was kinda scary in a Nickolodeon-ish way. Something I’d expect Nick Cannon to do if he was on drugs lol.

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  29. Luckily, I’ve never met a DD. Thanks to Gem, it will be that much easier for me to spot them early on. Thanks! :-)

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  30. What you don’t think I can rap…and then proceeds to sing drake lol. Diva dudes don’t really watch sports either do they (just something I’ve noticed). I’ve never dated one because I typically think they are homosexual when I first meet them (nttawwt).

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  31. O.M.G.!!!!!!! HILARIOUS!!! I won’t quote everything cuz everybody else has, but that sh*t had me rollin. Good job!!!! :)

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    • Naw, go ahead and quote the “harvest festival” part. It simply does not get mo’ ignant than “Harvest Festival Vengeance”. For me that was the most hilarious part of the video (coming in a close second was the “Lower 48″ commentary).

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  36. Guess I have a fighting chance of snagging a diva dude since I am not from any of the 48 states or an America Black girl…..go me!…LOL

    All Gem Jones needed was a ma-urse and the diva dude attire and accessories would have been complete.

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  38. “Where’s my Beijing” was IT.

    Nice work Gem!

    What made the girls Bougie though?

    You made me think of the special they had about men going out of the country to go wife shopping saying they didn’t like American women any more.

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    • They are essentially the same person on different sides of the gender coin. Therefore diva dudes/bougie girls tend to date each other. Educated, (somewhat) successful career. Like the finer things in life but also like the odd “hoodrat” stuff.

      I see some similarities with myself and the diva dude and most of my female friends/girlfriends past and present have some bougie girl qualities.

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      • Truth! Both Bougie Chicks and Diva Dudes are so desperate to be seen as being “on the come up” that they end up making themselves look super-ghetto. Someone who actually has made it isn’t trying to hard, esp. because they have actual accomplishments to back up their swag, not bluster.

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    • LOL thanks chica.

      and DD only date bougie black girls (be they from the lower 48 states or abroad lmbo). DD cant be partner if he’s caught at the firm christmas party with a hoodrat!

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  40. First, here’s sh!t Conscious Black People Say: http://youtu.be/G_G3D_OgwDU

    Second, that was Gem? I thought they just found some DeBarge lookalike to do that. It shows you how girly those ninjas are.

    Third, is it me or is Mike Jones’ Back Then the Official National Anthem of the Diva Dude. You’d swear they give out free downloads and ringtones of this song after line-crossing for Kappas. LOL Heck, they probably throw honorary memberships at dudes who bump that enough in their cars.

    Fourth, I wonder what would happen if all the women who played the Diva Dude back in the day apologized by offering cash, free clothes, cleaning services and raw dog booty (including the ol’ back door) on command. They’d probably turn back into the simps they really are, with a major case of one-itis. Seriously though, chicks should do that to Diva Dudes for like one week. The minds blown would destroy the Diva Dude for-EVAH!

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    • I literally said the same thing up-thread. If a diva dude grew up in the hood, they was probably at least 10% too geeky to have been THAT dude growing up. Not to say they was lames but just not at that level. Fast forward 10 years with at least a BA and a decent job he’s more in demand than ever before. All he has to say is “I ****ing knew it! All you scallywags aint sheeeeeeeit! Only appreciate a star when he’s SHINING ON YOU!”

      When it’s not totally accurate. He was pulling good quality girls before. Just not THOSE girls on a regular basis. How do I know this? Because ladies and gentleman, that man is me and most of the men I know.

      Did I also mention how I am unemployed but still manage to feel myself at a incredibly high level? Under-rated diva dude quality.

      **exits stage left**

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      • That’s definitely true, my dude. A lot of dudes measure their self-worth by the level of woman they’re able to date, and the second they’re able to upgrade, they’re like F those broads I used to mess with before…especially the ones on your current level that didn’t give them no play. That is truly the mark of a shallow dude.

        The interesting thing is that my come-up came in college for whatever reason. It wasn’t like I was pulling complete lames in high school, but when I got to college, the dimes I messed with were something serious. The problem was that for the most part, they were serious headcases (as was I, if I’m gonna keep it 100), but that’s for another time. :) Still, I never got the mindset that the level of woman you can bag makes a dude worth a certain level. Not saying that I’m perfect, but I always looked at the woman a guy can pull as a reflection of what he does, not who he is as a person.

        But that’s just me.

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      • “He was pulling good quality girls before. Just not THOSE girls on a regular basis”

        Thank you for being so open and explaining this. I always suspected this, but Diva Dudes always deny it. I was never *that* girl, just the decent girl acting as the close bus carrying bitter pre-Diva Dudes along until they caught up with *that* girl. Meh, it is what it is.

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  43. I realize all my friends who are seemingly happily married with great husbands and fathers for their children are married to real men-men who court women believe in being providers, protectors, and APPRECIATE their wives etc.i.e the old school dynamics as opposed to this diva dude stuff going on. I just dated a diva dude … supersmart attorney, many times he bitched about girls who done gave it up to the “thugs” for years then try to holla at him when they hit the 27 year mark. They got some scars I tell you. But my thing is same goes for dudes! I was a geek in h.s and wasnt really interested in dating, I was never the fast azz..so..dudes who didnt look my way now see an attractive woman, highly educated, with a career, property etc and level headed, great self esteem, funny, somewhat domestic (i can cook and keep a home) who can be a partner for them and great mother to their kids… meanwhile they done had 2 baby moms to figure that out or dated mad superficial chicks focusing on the wrong things.. guess what?? I aint mad at them..we all have to grow and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to settle down with an equally yoked partner.

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    • and what I mean by “I ain’t mad” is I understand, I wouldnt hold it against them assuming they don’t have too much bagage for me to deal with and I would give them a chance. Men are very sensitive, they talk about women but they are super sensitive on the low. If we held on to ish that happened to us through relationships/ the years leading up to now many of us wouldn’t even date ever again. true story.

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  44. Yoooooooooo!! From the second I opened the page I knew it was my goon and ihollered! Now THIS was hilarious. Like really effing funny…like watch it three times in a row funny.

    Gem if that science thing don’t work out, you always got a place in transgendered acting.

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    • Have you seen how many guys have quoted Diddy’s “Lord protect me from brokeness, b*tch ass ninjas…. and b*tch ass b*tches.” He’s the DD inferior DD’s aspire to be. He could be 10% more bougie and could do with listening to the Arctic Monkeys to truly be the DD king.

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    • Because the dude is the Patron Saint of the Diva Dude. That’s why. :) When your whole persona is built around hiding your family’s “street entrepreneur” past, a lot of stuff needs to be hidden. The Diva Dude mindset is built on hiding such marks on your past.

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  47. Props to Dr. Gemmie Ph.D for the performance.

    The $95 tie, the Drake performance, “paying for parking”, and “It ain’t all fun and games at the firm.” will be burned into my sick mind for some time to come.

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  50. I should not be laughing this hard at work. I scared about four yt ppl…

    Guess i should feel some type of way that I listen to Drake, use body butter, and went to college. o_O…i might be about %15 DD…

    Is it bad that i might know a FIFTY FIVE yr old diva dude? Complete with a Kappa jacket, a “hairstyle”, several degrees, and the love of his accomplishments?

    Gem, yall went IN on this video!

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  51. Am I reading too much into this or was he singing while peeing in the flower pot from 1:03 to 1:06?

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  52. Dang it, every time I think I have a handle on what a Diva Dude is, folks go and mess up my definition. I thought a Diva Dude was just a lame, who holds an infinite grudge, that uses money and status to take vengeance against females of today for the females of yesteryear that rejected him. I mean is a diva dude the perfect storm of:

    A Cheap Dude
    An Infinite Grudge Dude
    A Metrosexual Dude
    A Shallow Dude
    A Bougie Dude

    -OR-

    Is each one separately an example of a Diva Dude?

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    • Looks to me like not only do you have the definition, you’ve contributed the damn recipe lol! Give it up for the Paula Deen of social misfits.

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    • Selfish more so than cheap. He should have a decent career and likes to spend it on himself. The opposite of chivalrous really.

      Luckily for me i’m not cheap nor am I (particularly) shallow………. objectively my girfriend’s only a 7.

      **throws table up and runs to nearest exit**

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    • I agree with c-real, being cheap, holding a grudge, metrosexual, shallow, and bougie are all things that make the diva dude. You have the perfect definition too;
      Diva Dude- a lame, who holds an infinite grudge, that uses money and status to take vengeance against females of today for the females of yesteryear that rejected him.

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    • My simple explanation is a dude who isn’t a genuine @$$hole, just a parody of an @$$hole.

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  53. Aight Gem, so let me go ahead and throw it out there…y’all should go ahead and make a whole skit based on a date between a DD and a Bougie Black chick so we can all have “Chappellle’s Show” caliber laughs for the week lol!

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    • LOL!!! ummmm talk to Champ about that one. im down to don the nicely lined goatee again. ive been practicing my deep voice just in case im needed again :)

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  55. Hilarious vid. Well done.

    But serious question: Whats wrong with rejecting a person that dissed you in the past? Especially when its clear that your ‘come up’ is what intrigues them. I dont think thats ‘diva’.

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    • i guess it’s only bad when guys do it..lol.

      nah, but forreal, while if someone sees you NOW, just for the material things, treat them like everyone else that sees you for the material stuff, no need to get extra with it…

      but at the same time…people change, so they say.

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    • What is “Diva” is trying to throw whatever you have in a past acquaintance’s face when everyone else has outgrown that stuff but the Diva Dude. Interpreting an FB friend request as “jocking” is total bitter Diva Dude behavior. Thinking that a big salary is “come uppance” is Diva Dude mentality. He hasn’t really “come up” if getting vengance for past rejections is still that important to him. If you ever catch yourself feeling this way, please stop crime and just say no to Diva Dude behavior.

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  56. someone PLEASE correct the crazy person who said on YT that white america doesn’t know black diva dudes even exist (i dropped my YT account and can’t comment). who cares what white america does and doesn’t know? lol. i know the person was joking but oooohhhhh i can’t wait until what white people know/feel/believe becomes irrelevant!

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    • Oh, there is a White version of this. Thankfully, thanks to de facto social segregation, we don’t have to check for that dude too much. :)

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      • White Diva Dude = a “Bro”? I’ve heard about Bro’s from white friends, but was never clear about who they were exactly.

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  58. I personally think this video should be called “Sh*t dudes in DC say”, but you know, great vid lol

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  60. “Did you use all my baby oil?” All i could think about was Steve Harvey slathered up in those internet photos a few years ago. Who in the hell still uses baby oil? People with babies don’t even use baby oil.

    Gem Jones, my heart is swollen with goon pride.

    #RGS

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  61. LOL this is too funny and so true. I can’t stand a “wannbe” bougie male. “I don’t date black girls, are you Alaskan ‘coz’ I don’t do the lower 48 states”?…LOL

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  62. So now there’s another negative black male stereotype going around?! Do we always have to keep coming up with these things…seriously.

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  63. Watched it this morning, but had to leave out for class. Just wanna say great job, and please do a part deux cause it would make my entire existence to see the DD & bougie black girl on an actual date *lol*.

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  64. “You know there is 8 of you for every 1 of me, right? I’m just sayin.”

    I absolutely love the don’t-kill-the-messenger expression after that line. LOL!!! Hilarous video! Nice job, Gem.

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  65. Yoo…
    PURE HYSTERICS!
    Loved it….
    Esp the
    “I don’t do black girls” bit….
    Gem, you are hilarious…
    Just had me just laugh attacking.
    You did such a great job with the vid girl…..
    It reminds me of so many dudes around here.
    (Diva dudes run rampant in the ‘burbs)
    And Gem, did you do another vid with Shit ______________ Says because I swore I saw a vid with you in it before

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  69. The calla lilies while singing the Marvin’s Room though? Wow! LMAO, that’s too real. I know a diva dude who got bamboo plants on his vase at his bachelor pad. Diva dudes up here in the west coast don’t got nothing on any other DDs from other regions- they eat tofu, skinless chicken, go through Paleo diets, and have no gentlemen manners to make it worst.

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  72. Tight work. The string of middle names killed me to death. If you ever consider a second installment, a solid black not-even-trying-to-look-real goatee would be awesome.

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    • Real life Diva Dude memories:

      Diva Dude 1: He referred to himself by his first two initials, J.P., and always added “the 3rd” to his last name. Me and a couple of his female friends were chatting about a recent Prince performance. Diva Dude lifted up his shirt and shouted “hey, look at my abs!” out of the blue. We weren’t talking about bodies or abs. At all.

      Diva Dude 2: He traded his glasses for contacts and got his nipples pierced. After an argument, he finally expressed what was bugging him about me…”I don’t get it, why don’t you jock me?”

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  73. Do you know how many Diva Dudes I’ve come across at Morehouse College……. ( that’s why I only date em at Clark ) <— im joking. . . . . but seriously Morehouse is Diva Dude headquarters OF THE WORLD !!!

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