Sh*t Bougie Black People Love

Sh*t Bougie Black People Love: Free Events Featuring Artists Who Definitely Need Your Money

free events

If you look far enough into a Bougie Black Person’s (BBP) past, you’ll likely see that they went through a longer than expected period of time where they seriously entertained being an artist. The art itself varies—you’re likely to find connections to anything from guitar playing to graffiti curation—but six particular forms of art seem to be more popular than the rest: writing, rapping, singing, dancing, clothing designing, and producing music.

(Why writing, rapping, singing, dancing, designing clothes, and producing music? Well, they’re all art forms with regular Black people roots. And, as we all know, few things matter more to BBP than keeping their regular Black people roots.)

If you need proof, the next time you happen across a group of BBP having dinner at a Thai restaurant, ask each of them if they seriously thought they could be a full-time writer, rapper, singer, dancer, designer, or music producer if they put their time into it. There’s a 90% chance that at least 80% of them will say “Yes.” And, this “Yes” will be said without any hints of irony. “But,” they’ll follow with, attempting to explain why they never cultivated this particular talent “I have student loans. I can’t just drop everything and start singing full-time.”

But, while FAFSA and Sallie Mae are conspiring to keep the BBPs from winning Pulitzers and scoring multi-million dollar record contracts, this kindred connection to art is expressed in other ways, and the most common way is to search for and attend free events featuring artists whose art exhibits that they’re invested in the true essence of art. And, “artists whose art exhibits that they’re invested in the true essence of art” usually means “broke artists.”

These events are usually found at gallery crawls, community theaters, and the type of bohemian bookstores and nightclubs popularized in Love Jones and romanticized whenever Bougie Black girls fantasize about possibly meeting Frank Ocean or that guy who played Cutty on “The Wire.” To an outsider, it may be difficult to distinguish between BBP and Bipsters (Black hipsters) in a setting like this. After all, uber-fashionable Black people do tend to look alike, even to other Black people. But, since BBPs usually have corporate occupations, they tend to have less prominent facial hair and less visible tattoos than their bipster brethren. If still not clear, sit next to the bar. For obvious reasons, BBP also tend to have more disposable income than the bipsters, and they’re subsequently more likely to order wine and drinks with complex instructions than beer or any well alcohol.

Ironically, these free events tend to feature artists who definitely need money. Perhaps they’re not starving, but foundation grant money and Indiegogo only goes so far. Also ironic is the fact that BBP, who’d think nothing of dropping $120 for some nosebleeds at a Kanye West concert, wouldn’t think of attending these events if they weren’t free. Yet, what seems like it should be a paradox has practical purposes behind it.

1. BBPs feel a little guilty for being BBPs. Not guilty enough that they’d revert back to being regular Black, but guilty enough that they feel compelled to continually remind themselves, other BBP, and regular Black people that they still have regular Black people roots. Attending and consuming something that’s free of commercialization (and, usually, just free altogether) is an easy way to do this, serving the dual purpose of showing that they’re not too pretentious to still frequent venues that feature this type of art while also exhibiting that their tastes are both refined and grounded enough to appreciate it.

2. BBPs love free shit. If fact, you can argue that BBP enjoy figuring out ways not to spend money more than they enjoy making it.

(Ironically, this—the love of free shit—connects them to regular Black people more than any free concert would.)

3. There is no quicker way to impress a Bougie Black girl you may be interested in than taking her on a first date where a free event featuring artists who definitely need your money is somehow involved. Doing this would show her that you’re appropriately resourceful, appropriately cultured, and appropriately bougie enough for her to continue to scour Facebook for any sign that you might not be single.

If you happen to know a BBP and you also happen to attend one of these events with them, don’t be surprised if immediately following said event, they start talking about things like “finding creative outlets” and “soul nurturing” and “hating White people.” In the coming weeks, you may notice them growing their beards out a bit or “going natural.” They may even start a blog, or email you some tracks they laid a couple days ago after finding a studio time discount on Groupon.

If, no, when this happens, listen to their conversations about all the ideas they wish they had to the time to pursue, read their first five or so blog entries (and don’t say anything when the blog goes five months without an update), and listen to their tracks.

But, as a friend, when finished doing all of this, it’s also your duty to matter-of-factly drop a line about your 401k or how “Sallie Mae is kicking your ass” during a conversation. This will likely snap the BBP back to reality and remind him that attending free events featuring artists who definitely need you money is better than being one of them.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Malik

    Top to bottom this was a very solid post.

    • Wild Cougar

      *stares at avi* *gets warm fuzzies*

    • GypsyCurl

      I have to disagree with some points on this post:

      (1) BBP wanting to be a rapper??? Oh hellz bellz NO! That is all the way low totem pole ninjas with no education. Every street nonmofo factor ninjas want to be a rapper. Walk down any ATL or New Orleans street or go to any club and what will you find? Some guy trying to use the “I’m a rapper” as a pickup line.
      (2) Free spit? Who doesn’t love free spit? Even Oprah and Donald Trump loves free spit.
      (3) “free event featuring artists who definitely need your money is somehow involved”……..Please don’t confuse the BBP with the New Millenial Black Hipster (NMBH).

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “(1) BBP wanting to be a rapper??? Oh hellz bellz NO!”

        this and/or playing in the NBA/NFL is a fantasy held by approximately 147% of Black men, bougie or not.

        • GypsyCurl

          Fantasy? Yes. But proclamation? Not by the bougie.

          Now I will agree that the BBP must like the most ratchet rap music that is hot at the moment. And dance to said ratchet music at a club or house party. But then reject said ratchet music during philosophical discussions (either among black elite or among whites) about how rap music is disrespectful to the black community and is holding black people back. But also the BBP will proclaim to be an expert in all things rap (take sides in the Biggie vs Tupac debate).

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        “(1) BBP wanting to be a rapper??? Oh hellz bellz NO! That is all the way low totem pole ninjas with no education. Every street nonmofo factor ninjas want to be a rapper. Walk down any ATL or New Orleans street or go to any club and what will you find? Some guy trying to use the “I’m a rapper” as a pickup line.”
        .
        O: Chubb Rock went to Brown, was a National Merit Scholar and was studying to be a doctor. Chuck D’s academic pedigree is well documented. Lil Wayne(!) studied psychology in college. Kanye West…well, ’nuff said. The Roots met while in school. Guru and DJ Premier met while in college – same deal with the Black Sheep. JDilla was being considered as a candidate in avionics training, but elected to do his thing with music instead.
        .
        And that’s just off the top of my head. Hip Hop has a very rich history of both formally and informally educated Brothas.
        .
        You need to study your history more…much, much more.
        .
        O.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          Not to pull your accuracy card, but Guru and Premier didn’t meet in college. They met via a demo recording that Guru happened upon. Guru graduated from Morehouse and Preem attended Prairie View A&M for a few years but didn’t graduate.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Panama:
            Thanks for the correction/clarification; much appreciated!
            .
            O.

        • GypsyCurl

          Going to college and graduating from college are two different things. Some of those you named dropped out. And umm? Didn’t Kanye West even title his first album, The College Dropout? Do your history. Lil wayne went to college then dropped out, then got a degree from Phoenix University (and it wasn’t psychology). And Lil Wayne is far from bougie (and so are the other rappers you named; except for Kanye West, who knows what he is). So not only should you do your history, you should stay on topic.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @GypsyCurl:
            “Going to college and graduating from college are two different things.”
            .
            O: Yes, that’s true; but you weren’t discussing that. You were discussing the apparent “fact” that rappers and the like lacked education; I offered proof (even with Panama’s clarification notwithstanding) to the contrary. You were saying?
            .
            “Some of those you named dropped out.”
            .
            O: Again, true; but so what? The fact remains that they were indeed educated. They had to possess the necessary talent to get into those schools in the first place. Which again, works against your point.
            .
            You were saying?
            .
            “And umm? Didn’t Kanye West even title his first album, The College Dropout?”
            .
            O: Indeed he did. Nevertheless my point stands. You were saying?

            “Do your history. Lil wayne went to college then dropped out, then got a degree from Phoenix University (and it wasn’t psychology).”
            .
            O: Is that right? From Lil Wayne’s Wikipedia entry, I quote: “He also revealed on The View that he switched to the University of Phoenix and majored in psychology taking online courses.”
            .
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lil_Wayne#Religion_and_higher_education
            .
            You were saying?
            .
            “And Lil Wayne is far from bougie (and so are the other rappers you named; except for Kanye West, who knows what he is).”
            .
            O: I never made any such claim. Do you know what a Strawman is? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man
            .
            “So not only should you do your history, you should stay on topic.”
            .
            O: Look who’s talkin’…
            .
            O.

            • Wild Cougar

              You are trying too hard to make everything into an argument. You should chill. I mean that in the nicest possible way. But I know you’re gonna take this as an opportunity to start another argument about nothing.

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                “You are trying too hard to make everything into an argument.”
                .
                O: Apparently not hard enough if you’re joining into the discussion…
                .

                “You should chill.”
                .
                O: My blood pressure has never been high.
                .
                “I mean that in the nicest possible way. But I know you’re gonna take this as an opportunity to start another argument about nothing.”
                .
                O: No; just not seeing the purpose of injecting yourself into something where it is patently clear you have nothing in the least constructive to add…
                .
                O.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          in more recent news ::

          Afrika Bambaattaa received an honorary degree from Cornell, which is now home to the Hip Hop Archives. Joe Conzo’s photographs of the the Cold Crush sit on a shelf alongside the Gettysburg Address ~*~

          ooo chills

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            Thank you, Ms. Esa.
            .
            Ms. GypsyCurl – are you taking notes?
            .
            O.

            • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

              O,

              You used to be so chill in your responses….what happened? Damn!

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                Madam, I am chill with anyone who’s chill with me. But when people attempt to discuss something that I’ve said, or, in this case, when someone makes an asinine remark that’s clearly not true, that reveals more their own ignorance and backwardness than anything else…well then, I can be a bit…rambunctious.
                .
                I do not, and will not, apologize for that.
                .
                O.

                • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

                  I didn’t ask for an appology, just an explanation. Gotcha!

        • Njnear

          I believe Cajmere, house music DJ, genius and creator of the Percolator is chemical engineer. He dropped out of the masters program to pursue his DJing career. He is an alumnus of my school.

  • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

    “…listen to their conversations about all the ideas they WISH they had to the time to pursue…”
    -
    This is what stood out for me in the post.

    Life is too short to ‘wish’ upon a star. Pursue your passion to the fullest and to the best of your ability. Yes, bills have to be paid, but they don’t have to be paid through a corporate 9 to 5. Instead, find a way to make your passion pay the bills. Leverage your talent(s). Kudos to 2 Chainz. I honestly admire his spirit.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      What’s up, AM!

      It’s not always bills that keep one from pursuing their dreams. Sometimes it’s just good old reality. Ish happens and there your dreams go down the drain. :-(

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        yeah. and some people have shitty dreams

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          True.

      • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

        hey Val!! :)

        True dat!

    • Wild Cougar

      “Find a way to make your passion pay the bills”
      #thingsbrokepeoplesay

      • IcePrincess3

        CTFU!! Good one, dub c.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        BOL!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        Or things Panama Jackson and The Champ say, but ya know…whatevs. lol.

        • Wild Cougar

          Y’all are an exception. I’m smart enough to see the fickle popularity winds blowin….

      • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

        Whatevs!

    • Rewind

      It’s not always about bills. Sometimes life just hands you a raw deal. Some people got bad health, some people have horrible families, some people are just born in places where they can never catch a break long enough to pursue anything positive.

      That’s why more than anything else, people just hope they get a chance at happiness in life before too much time passes…I know that’s what I do.

      • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

        you know what has been interesting for me is to discover that my ishhy life (near death/abusive family) is the reason i have to write. not want to write. quite frankly if i had known this was what it was going to be, i would have never idealized it. it’s more pain than pleasure. i reflect often enough on Hemingway’s words, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

        maybe one day this will change, maybe not. Hemingway put a gun to his head. art, success, these things don’t necessarily make one happy. but i dont think art is about happiness. for me, it’s about freedom, and self mastery, and maybe somewhere in there, self respect.

        i think there may be a lot of other people who are called to create art as a way to purge pain from their veins. however, by the time it gets commodified and sold to us, we experience it as this santiized or sensationalized suffering, or we experience it as this mythologized nonsense.

        • Rewind

          I get what you are saying. Art to me is the ability to let your soul free. That’s why I believe art is open to interpretation, because there’s no way to actually describe a soul.

          I, like you, have all my haunted memories to give me inspiration as to what I should say. I just lack the focus because I had to figure out ways to take care of myself, rather than writing down my thoughts. I do believe everyone gets a chance to find their breakout moment, it just depends on what they do with it. Freedom is a hard concept to keep one opinion about.

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

            focus is very hard to sustain. the act of writing calls up all kindsa demons and they be wanting cupcakes made of blood and brains. or some ishh like that. im sayinnn ..

            for me the thing is, negotiating the space of the unknown, allowing myself to be free and be fearless and to face my fears head on and most of all, not to give a fukk what other people say.

            in short :: if writing calls, pick up the phone.

            • MicTheMessenger

              Tellin my life with your words.

              I’m a writer too!

              And i love perfroming and sharing my work, but it’s those times when life is crazy and nobody is around where the most therapy happens and the rawest, most honest words come tumbling out.

              In terms of being successful, i believe the best artists became able to sustain themselves off of relevancy. the truth is ALWAYS ALWAYS relevant, and bougie or not, EVERYBODY relates to truth. Even liars relate to truth.

              Write ON!!!

              • esa

                (smile) your words give me life. especially the part that goes, “it’s those times when life is crazy and nobody is around where the most therapy happens and the rawest, most honest words come tumbling out.”

                you make it sound so uplifting, and maybe it is. to take off the weight is to be free of it. i need to adjust my frame.

                thank youuu ~*~

  • msdebbs

    I’m not a BBP but I do LOVE FREE sh*t….ijs

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      i dont believe you, you need more people

    • LMNOP

      yeah, who DOESN’T love free sht?

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

    Errr, umm, does ballet count as an appropriate artistic dream of a bourgeoisie Black person?

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

      yes ~*~ Alvin Ailey flipped it !

    • annette_b

      @Val:
      I was wondering why dance was left out, too…

    • GypsyCurl

      Yasssssss! Bougie Black Women have either taken ballet, wanted to take ballet, or just enjoy the art of ballet.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      it does. my mistake. will make the edit in the book

  • http://Obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

    “We are here fighting this war, because inside every gook, there’s an American, fighting to get out.”
    -From the film, “Full Metal Jacket”
    .
    My, my…this is an excellent post, good sir! Well done. It will be most interesting indeed to see who will confess to being those BBPs you so glowingly spoke of…everyone dont jump up all at once, now.
    .
    I know of what you speak almost too well, for ive been a fly on the wall along these lines for quite some time, and can vouchsafe all that you say. The sheer degree of pretentiousness at these events, the fakery, the BSery, is thick one could cut it with a machete, and boggles the mind. Exactly who do these folk think they are fooling? Too bad black psychologist types are too hidebound by their public/private overlords to care, because such a pheneomenon really does deserve its own white paper study.
    .
    In any event, since this is a forum that discusses in whole or in part relationships, ahem, there are two addendums id like to make and enter into the record:
    .
    1. It is often said that game only “works” on club going hoochies-”good gals”, much like the ones being described in this post, would never go in for such a thing. Only those who are either deeply ignorant or thoroughly disingenuous about the realities of human mating would deign to say such a thing. Not only does game work with a noted high rate of effectiveness among the bougie girl cohort, its even more effective wrt them then their more ratchet sistas. The reasons for this have been previously made clear by yours truly and has been alluded to my champ above; later this morning i may elaborate a bit on this particular point. For now though, suffice it to say, that such haunts are fertile hunting grounds for the studied seducer, and which routinely can yield much fruit. Who do you think all those poets be talking about, hmm?
    .
    2. And that leads us to our next and perhaps most important point. Ive found over the years, that there is a strain of brotha who is, in essence, a white knight in blackface. They tend to proliferate in venues like the one(s) champ describes, tends to have at least some and usually quite a bit of formal education, and is either an artistic type himself (or a wannabe one at least) or a “patron” of the arts. These are the types who can be seen or, since we’re all here online, “heard” in various virtual venues, pandering to what black women love to hear, like a poodle. Terms like “queen”, usually in combination with “black” or some variant thereof, are peppered throughout their speech, and if indeed they are poets or singers, their supplication is sure to carry over into their performances as well. Almost invariantly, their studied charisma and suite of seduction skills lay at a low ebb, though this is something most men arent attuned to lookout for, and most women are blinded to in such estrogen-rich environments-all they know and care about is homeboy is on the stage or in front of the room or at the dias, or failing that are being catered to like a proverbial sovereign-one of the relatively few spaces black women in general gets to experience such things. Only after the high of the event wears off and a mans true self is seen, does she get a real sense of what shes dealing with.
    .
    Which explains why so many of these sistas, if and when they take the stage themselves, speak so much about failed love. Hmm…
    .
    Ill hold here. Oh, and one last thing: fellas, enough with the mixed drinks hmm? I get that youre trying to signal your sophistication, but really, all youre saying is how woefully effete you are. Real men imbibe either beer or even better, spirits. Order yours neat, with no chaser. Mixed drinks are for girls.
    .
    Now adjourn your arses…
    .
    O.

    • H.H.H.

      “Oh, and one last thing: fellas, enough with the mixed drinks hmm? I get that youre trying to signal your sophistication, but really, all youre saying is how woefully effete you are. Real men imbibe either beer or even better, spirits. Order yours neat, with no chaser. Mixed drinks are for girls.”

      Dear Sir:

      Pipe ya bougie a&& down and get yourself a 4 Horsemen.

      Sincerely,

      J. Daniels.

      • http://Obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        Ha! Nice try but no cigar im afraid. Im far from bougie, one; and two, like i said, real men dont do mixed drinks…even if their four horsemen.
        .
        But i do thank you for your concern.
        .
        Sincerely,
        O.

        • H.H.H.

          Dear sir.

          i see we are at an impasse. unfortunately, you are quite wrong in what a real man drinks, but this is to be expected by one who is infected by imbibing p*sswater.

          I humbly hope that one day, a true gentleman can show you the error of your ways.

          Sincerely,

          J. Bean

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            “i see we are at an impasse.”
            .
            O: When you look around, you most definitely see a lot…
            .
            “unfortunately, you are quite wrong in what a real man drinks, but this is to be expected by one who is infected by imbibing p*sswater.”
            .
            O: Crude, not original, but succint. More ad hominem, please!
            .
            “I humbly hope that one day, a true gentleman can show you the error of your ways.”
            .
            O: Who said anything about being “a true gentleman” – who said that you were one – and who said that I had any such interest in such contrivances? Pray tell?
            .
            Sincerely,
            O.

            • H.H.H.

              Dear Bougie Bro,

              “”Who said anything about being “a true gentleman” – who said that you were one – and who said that I had any such interest in such contrivances? Pray tell?”

              I’m dreadfully sorry, see in my language, “real man” and “true gentleman are synonymous, and interchangable. I’ll duly note that for you they aren’t the same

              but since you stated that “real men imbibe beer or rather spirits”, could you please explain where you got your population sample of “real men”, and what, by definition is a “real man”? For Statistical purposes, of course.

              Respectfully,

              Started from the bottom, Now We Here

              • MicTheMessenger

                Someone please stop this madness.

        • IcePrincess3

          Come on O! Fa real? U think women care about what a guy drinks? We don’t. Confidence is key. Being secure enough in your manhood to drink whatever the hell u want- now THAT’S sexy! I’ll take a bossed-up dude with a margarita in front of him, over an insecure poser with a McAllen any day of the week!

          • camilleblue

            I don’t know Ice…I might look at a man a ‘lil crazy if he orders a fuzzy navel in front of me….at least make it a mixed drink with some backbone..even a long island would prolly be ok…lol..I’m a Sapphire girl myself sooooo….*shrugs*

            • IcePrincess3

              Girl, he can order whatever he wants, if he’s paying for it (and mine) with a black card lmfaooo!

              • camilleblue

                oh….yeah….a black card may change the game just a bit…but id’d still be thinking…”you got all this buying power in your hand and you buying a d*mn fuzzy navel”…lol!

                • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                  @Camille:
                  I love it when a Woman expects me to buy her a drink; my response is terse, but highly effective:
                  .
                  “Why?”. Then, I sitback and watch carefully her reactions.
                  .
                  On occasion, a Woman will attempt to go a round or two with the Obsidian; it is at this juncture that I employ what I call the Shaharazad Test:
                  .
                  “Look, I’ll tell you what: you tell me a good story, and not only will I buy you a drink, but it’ll be the best, most expensive drink in the place. Go.”
                  .
                  Too bad not many ladies are very good storytellers these days…
                  .
                  O.

                  • Sweet GA Brown

                    I like how you spoke of yourself in third person. However, I see we wouldnt make it far. I never expect a guy my drink. My approach is if he is going to buy it he will pull out his cash or card before i do. I never assume or act like Im entitled but i always appreciate when a man does. This is my way of cutting the potrential bs to a minimum. Im trying to sip play the wait and see game.

                    For the women that do expect you to buy their drink, I think that asking them to tell you a story is an interesting approach. Good way to eliminate undercover first class chicken heads.

                  • GypsyCurl

                    Boooo! Your story is lame.

                    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                      And yours is boooooring…
                      .
                      O.

                  • camilleblue

                    @ O – I need clarification – are you saying that in my comment I somehow projected that I expect a man to buy me a drink? Because that’s not what I said, just to be clear my dear Sir O…..

            • miss t-lee

              “I might look at a man a ‘lil crazy if he orders a fuzzy navel in front of me”

              Me too– camilleblue, me too.

              • Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

                You should kick him to the curb. Moneypenny should leave my a** if I ordered something like that.

                • camilleblue

                  @Wu – lol….I’m glad you understand…I’m just sayin’…how you gonna order a d*mn fuzzy navel and I’m ordering a Sapphire or Hendricks gimlet?? somewhere in my mind i’m losing respect for you with every sip you take….i’d just rather you don’t drink then try to keep up with the Joneses with that wiggity-wiggity whack non-drink…but that’s just me…*kanyeshrugs*

                  • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

                    I may be stuck in my country/caveman mindset a bit but I’ve noticed that a dude ordering a mixed drink comes off as mad tedious. No one in the crew could get away with that w/o severe ridicule.

                    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                      Indeed!.
                      O.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            @Iceprincess:
            “Come on O! Fa real? U think women care about what a guy drinks?”
            .
            O: Please tell me what gave you the impression that I cared what Women thought in this instance? I simply said, that mixed drinks are for girls…and they are. Women by and large don’t like to imbibe spirits straight up. Men can and often do. As well they should, if they’re going to drink at all.
            .
            O.

            • GypsyCurl

              Lame semantics. Every response to your comment or opinion is not a challenge. Your defensive retorts remind me of a Cosby Show episode when Dr. Huxtable took Rudy to tap dancing class and he started tap dancing with this old man. The old man kept saying “Chal-LANGE!” I laugh every time I think about that episode and everytime I read your comments.

              ” ‘Please explain?’ – O.”

              LMFAO

              • camilleblue

                awww….d*mn…i remember that episode..lol

            • IcePrincess3

              I got much luv for ya, O, but that is some hyper-masculine horseshyt if I ever heard it! To each his own, I guess.

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                That made you smile with all kinds of warms and fuzzies just saying that – didn’t it?
                .
                ;)
                .
                O.

                • camilleblue

                  you are silly!!

          • The Guy Formerly Know As Hmmmm

            “Come on O! Fa real? U think women care about what a guy drinks?”
            -
            You know, you would think this is some petty sh!t, right? I could hear an old Tevin Campbell song that spoke about bright tomorrows after reading this beautifully optimistic vote of confidence. What a man drinks should not matter at all and what you said seems….reasonable. There is a “nice” guy somewhere right now who would believe you, order a fuzzy to show how nice and unthreatening he is compared to dudes sipping 100 proof of vodka…..no oj, no straw….

            Of course a heterosexual man that is actually successful dating women knows that petty sh!t and facades matter, and he better be very confident bordering on unapologetically arrogant ordering a fuzzy navel at a bar full of 2000 now women. Thanks for the sincere answer Camilleblue.

            It’s lunch time. Where’s my vodka?

            • camilleblue

              “It’s lunch time. Where’s my vodka?”

              passing TGFKAH a glass….”right here next to my gimlet”….

            • Sweet GA Brown

              If he wanted to go light I figure he would get a cran and goose. A fuzzy navel or bay breeze will never be okay.

              • The Guy Formerly Know As Hmmmm

                I hear you. I’m not mad at it either. I think I am the only person in the world that admits to judging men and women due to (fill in the blank). I think its human to do so.

                But, consider that we are cosigning questioning/judging a persons “manliness” because of his liquor choice…..and place that next to judgements made because of color or gender….it’s all kind of fcuked up, and all the same thing.

                • Sweet GA Brown

                  True.

    • Todd

      Nice post my dude. The only thing I would add is that on dates, go for microbrews and avoid spirits. If you know your beer, you can impart a great deal of sophistication while still looking sufficiently manly. On top of that, there’s less of a risk of either you or your date slipping up and getting drunk by surprise like there may be with spirits. Just a thought.

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        @Todd,
        Microbrews scream “SWPL” – besides, a Man should be able to hand three full-on shots easily.
        .
        And thanks for the kudos as always!
        .
        O.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “2. And that leads us to our next and perhaps most important point. Ive found over the years, that there is a strain of brotha who is, in essence, a white knight in blackface. They tend to proliferate in venues like the one(s) champ describes, tends to have at least some and usually quite a bit of formal education, and is either an artistic type himself (or a wannabe one at least) or a “patron” of the arts. These are the types who can be seen or, since we’re all here online, “heard” in various virtual venues, pandering to what black women love to hear, like a poodle. Terms like “queen”, usually in combination with “black” or some variant thereof, are peppered throughout their speech, and if indeed they are poets or singers, their supplication is sure to carry over into their performances as well. Almost invariantly, their studied charisma and suite of seduction skills lay at a low ebb, though this is something most men arent attuned to lookout for, and most women are blinded to in such estrogen-rich environments-all they know and care about is homeboy is on the stage or in front of the room or at the dias, or failing that are being catered to like a proverbial sovereign-one of the relatively few spaces black women in general gets to experience such things. Only after the high of the event wears off and a mans true self is seen, does she get a real sense of what shes dealing with.”

      good point

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Triple H, from earlier in the thread:
      “I’m dreadfully sorry, see in my language, “real man” and “true gentleman are synonymous, and interchangable. I’ll duly note that for you they aren’t the same”
      .
      Apology noted and accepted! You will most certainly need it…
      .
      “but since you stated that “real men imbibe beer or rather spirits”, could you please explain where you got your population sample of “real men”, and what, by definition is a “real man”? For Statistical purposes, of course.”
      .
      O: Sure; as soon as you get me the empirical evidence that a “real man” and a “gentleman” is indeed, one and the same – or is that purely a creation on your part?
      .
      “Respectfully,

      Started from the bottom, Now We Here”
      .
      O: I see you have quite a ways to go…
      .
      O:

      • H.H.H.

        Dear “Bougie Bro”

        “O: Sure; as soon as you get me the empirical evidence that a “real man” and a “gentleman” is indeed, one and the same – or is that purely a creation on your part?”

        i would glady answer your inquisition, good sir, but considering that i was the one prosecuting your proclamations with pithy wit, wouldn’t it make sense to shore up your defenses on what you claim ‘real men’ drink, before you go on the offensive to disregard my subjective use of terms?

        ““Respectfully,

        Started from the bottom, Now We Here”
        .
        O: I see you have quite a ways to go…”

        Indeed i do, since i’m about to pass you twice…

        Signed,
        Hrizzy H.

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          “i would glady answer your inquisition, good sir, but considering that i was the one prosecuting your proclamations with pithy wit, wouldn’t it make sense to shore up your defenses on what you claim ‘real men’ drink, before you go on the offensive to disregard my subjective use of terms?”
          .
          O: In that I am being asked to defend my position – and that you are playing the role of the prosecution – it then fails to the latter (you) to prove your case; the defense’s job (me) is only to raise “reasonable doubt”. As I’ve said – I am more than willing to do as you ask, as soon as you have complied with the very request you have made of me. Fair enough?
          .
          “Indeed i do, since i’m about to pass you twice…”
          .
          O: Not with “skills” of argumentation like that you aren’t…
          .
          O.

          • H.H.H.

            Dear Bougie Bro,

            Ooooooh! I Guess you got me! You’re right!**

            Sincerely,
            -passed you Thrice

            ** – note: i actually don’t believe this, nor does anyone, but hey this the Obsidian show, who knows what other logic lines will be crossed. more importantly i’m getting bored, and arguing over what the correct drink a real man would drink, is something a fool would continue to do. Fellas, Four Horsemen – Jack, Jim, Jameson, Johnny. stay away from P*ssWater.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              “note: i actually don’t believe this, nor does anyone, but hey this the Obsidian show, who knows what other logic lines will be crossed. more importantly i’m getting bored, and arguing over what the correct drink a real man would drink, is something a fool would continue to do. Fellas, Four Horsemen – Jack, Jim, Jameson, Johnny. stay away from P*ssWater.”
              .
              O: By “p*sswater”, I take it you mean beer? If so, please know that I said both that AND spirits. I didn’t favor one over the other.
              .
              And, you’re right about one thing: this entire was indeed a bit farcical on your part. I mean, out of all I’ve said about the matter under discussion, here comes Triple H to upbraid me on what is an otherwise relatively minor point. Never once, does Triple H actually examine the bulk of my comments; Triple H instead, by his/her own admission, wastes a goodly amount of his/her time, again, attempting to upbraid me on a relatively minor point. And this is what Black folk have a very bad tendency to do – get lost in the forest and missing the trees. Majoring in the minors. Making mountains out of moehills. Refusing to grapple with the argument, instead opting to want to take it to the messenger.
              .
              In a word, Bunk.
              .
              Thank you, Triple H, for showing us all your true colors. I knew it would dawn on you eventually to cut the crap.
              .
              O.

              • H.H.H.

                Dear Big Bougie Bro.

                Thank you for the dissertation!

                *round of applause* #Flocka

                i’m trying to see what the best part of this was…
                “Triple H instead, by his/her own admission, wastes a goodly amount of his/her time, again, attempting to upbraid me on a relatively minor point. And this is what Black folk have a very bad tendency to do – get lost in the forest and missing the trees. Majoring in the minors. Making mountains out of moehills. Refusing to grapple with the argument, instead opting to want to take it to the messenger.”

                Bravo good sir. Bravo! i mean, to break it down so (non)consisely (as typical with your posts)…i mean this is a trademark comment from you! the only thing missing is…data and links proving your point…but since this really isn’t fact, just your conjecture…data isn’t necessary :)

                and for the record, you’re quite right, i wasted a godly amount of time (possibly 10-15 minutes typing theses howmanyever responses) on something rather irrelevant, your opinions. but i apologize to the class, to black society, and to you oh great and mighty Oz-sidian

                Please everyone, sit around, take your notebooks out, and sit at the feet of Obsidian, may he preach the Beatitudes of Game! Verily Verily i say unto thee, those that choose not to heed the words of this wiseman will be destined to actually be themselves around women! While drinking beer!

                (oh and spirits.)

                Signed,
                Table Tennis Master while recording My Debut Allllllbummmmmm

                • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                  Triple H:
                  .
                  My response to you is at the end of the thread…looking forward to more discussion with you…
                  .
                  O.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @GypsyCurl:
      “Lame semantics.”
      .
      O: Lame projection…
      .
      “Every response to your comment or opinion is not a challenge.”
      .
      O: Yes, this is true; however, most of your responses are rather weaksauce ones.
      .
      “Your defensive retorts remind me of a Cosby Show episode when Dr. Huxtable took Rudy to tap dancing class and he started tap dancing with this old man. The old man kept saying “Chal-LANGE!” I laugh every time I think about that episode and everytime I read your comments.”
      .
      O: And you make me cringe everytime I read yours, I’m afraid. But it warms my heart to know, that I make you smile.
      .
      O.

    • Rewind

      If I’m not a real man for hating beer, drinking mixed drinks, and despising buying shots of liquor to impress people who aren’t worth my pubic hairs, then my sissy ass shall continue to drink my colored drinks. Because I THOUGHT if I was drinking, I should ENJOY what I drink…no different than eating. I refuse to get wasted on stuff that makes my mouth feel like Hiroshima after the blast.

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        *BOL at the line “Hiroshima after the blast*
        .
        Rewind, my good sir, they don’t call such things “an acquired taste” for nothing. Good spirits are *supposed* to “explode” a bit in your mouth – wouldn’t be hard liquor if it didn’t, hmm?
        .
        Just a thought…
        .
        O.

        • Wild Cougar

          Good quality liquor is smooth. It doesn’t explode unless it has impurities.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            What’s your shot?
            .
            O.

          • Rewind

            Even good liquor doesn’t always taste great on its own, no matter how smooth. I love Grey Goose, but I refuse to take it in shots.

            • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

              What other kinds of vodkas do you imbibe? Just curious, because I’ve found that the vast majority of them SUCK. Goose is OK; I’ve found Belevdere to be pretty good, but by no means my fave, and will only do when my main shot is unavailable.
              .
              O.

              • Rewind

                Honestly, my favorites are Absolut Brooklyn, and Grey Goose pear. But I agree with you that vodka does suck for shots. I usually stick to tequila or whiskey for shots

                • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                  Try Sobieski. Polish vodka, very good, very smooth going down. I took down about 12 shots of that good stuff before I called it a night…
                  .
                  O.

        • Rewind

          O, I’m saying, I know most hard liquors are an acquired taste, but that shouldn’t change the fact that one should ENJOY the taste. I admit, I am not the type to have super fruity drinks but I do like mixing my liquors with certain juices and getting a concoction that will make anyone say “DAMN”(if you could see the amount of liquor I have access to and understand how much I practice making new drinks per day, you’d fear for my liver).

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            Hmm. OK, what about scotch and water?
            .
            O.

            • Rewind

              Doable, but Scotch with a touch of Phalernum is great.

      • camilleblue

        “I refuse to get wasted on stuff that makes my mouth feel like Hiroshima after the blast.”

        lol….d*mn rewind…I nah want a war enna your mout

        • Rewind

          ha @ Camille…I’m saying though, I’ve had plenty of liquor and most of it tastes horrible by itself. But mixing things together..then liquor is awesome.

          • camilleblue

            @Rewind…by all means…make it do what it do & mix away baby…just know that if you and I go out for drinks i’m gonna get some clownin’ in on you for that fuzzy navel lol…

            • Rewind

              lmao as you should, because I’d never order something that damn weak. My mixed drinks need at least 3 specific liquors. I bet if I made my watermelon shots (watermelon juice, gin, melon vodka, ginger liquor), you’d never try to clown me.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      “It’s lunch time. Where’s my vodka?”
      .
      O: Good Man!
      .
      O.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @CamilleBlue:
      “@ O – I need clarification – are you saying that in my comment I somehow projected that I expect a man to buy me a drink? Because that’s not what I said, just to be clear my dear Sir O…..”
      .
      O: No, you did not say that. But it is clear that Women do expect these things on the part of Men when out and about the mating grounds out there on the modern day Savannah. You may not, fair enough. But clearly, quite a few Women do.
      .
      I merely offer observations – and solutions – towards managing these realities for the Brothas who want them.
      .
      O.
      .
      #datingriskmanagement

      • camilleblue

        mmmm…i think it depends on the situation my dear O…the only time i expect a man to buy me a drink (if we are indeed drinking – or plan to drink) is if we are on a date that he initiated…
        —–

        it sounds like you have had a woman you don’t really know to just straight up ask you to buy her a drink…because that’s the only scenario that i can think of that would require you to respond by asking her to tell you a story and then say “go”….that shid right there would be a neagtive on the play…..b/c my stories are worth more than a drink… ;) …lol

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          @CamilleBlue:
          Actually, my formulation of the Shaharazad Test was in direct response to Women asking Men for drinks (as well as myself), and, I must say, the reactions on the part of the ladies is nothing short of priceless. Women are soooooo used to not having to answer hard questions as to exactly what, and how, their mating value, and what it should mean to potential suitors out on the mating market. The assumption is, that if the ladies show up, all will be well.
          .
          I love forcing people to question – deeply – their assumptions.
          .
          O.

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Although I wouldnt make it to you asking me this question, I thoroughly enjoy this approach. Im not mad at all.

            “Sometimes you gotta use what you got(answers)…”-Ebony

        • Sweet GA Brown

          Nice.

          I agree, a date that I was invited to go on is the only time I expect my drinks to be paid for. That story thing can only work on a certain type of woman. The type I dont roll with.

          • camilleblue

            @ Sweet….and truth be told…If I’m out (not a date, but just out) and a man is chatting me up and I’m actually enjoying the conversation, I’ll probably buy him a drink…conversely…if a man’s conversation (or lack of) is making me want to stick a pin in my eye, then I won’t allow him to buy me a(nother) drink…because men equate buying drinks with #wegotogether… I’m not ever that d@mn thirsty…

            • Sweet GA Brown

              True. I had a man call me out when he saw me in another club months later on a drink that he offered and insisted that he buy. Since we didnt hit it off after a couple phonecalls and texts, I think he wanted me to give him his money back. I should have never accepted that drink. Smh.

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Sweet GA Brown:
      “I like how you spoke of yourself in third person.”
      .
      O: I like it that you like it that I spoke of myself in the third person.

      “However, I see we wouldnt make it far.”
      .
      O: Parting is such sweet sorrow…
      .
      “I never expect a guy my drink.”
      .
      O: Really? Do tell…
      .
      “My approach is if he is going to buy it he will pull out his cash or card before i do.”
      .
      O: And, what if he doesn’t?
      .
      “I never assume or act like Im entitled but i always appreciate when a man does.”
      .
      O: You would be a rare bird indeed, if this is in fact the case…
      .
      “This is my way of cutting the potrential bs to a minimum. Im trying to sip play the wait and see game.”
      .
      O: Interesting; so, again, let’s say that the guy in question doesn’t in fact reach for his plastic/cash; then what?
      .
      “For the women that do expect you to buy their drink, I think that asking them to tell you a story is an interesting approach. Good way to eliminate undercover first class chicken heads.”
      .
      O: LOL. I’m glad you approve! But, I must say – with a goodly degree of interest I might add – that I didn’t formulate the Shaharazad Test for use with “chickenheads”. In truth, Ratchet Sistas don’t trouble guys in that way. No, I formulated it in response to the very kinds of Sistas that comprise the nature of Champ’s post today. And, I have found it qutie effective in numerous field tests.
      .
      O.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        I never expect a guy my drink.”
        .
        O: Really? Do tell…-To expect is to act entitled to things that belong to someone who is not obligated to do anything for me. So if a stranger that I am conversing with decides that he wants to then thats a nice gesture.
        .
        “My approach is if he is going to buy it he will pull out his cash or card before i do.”
        .
        O: And, what if he doesn’t?- If the conversation is casual I dont think anything of it. If he is trying to exchange numbers and I finished a drink during our convo and Im ordering another and I pull out my card while he stops speaking so I can finish my transaction, I will assume that he isn’t really worth my time. Men that watch my money transactions are highly suspect.
        .
        “I never assume or act like Im entitled but i always appreciate when a man does.”
        .
        O: You would be a rare bird indeed, if this is in fact the case…-I hate to think I’m rare. I really do. Idk. I don’t do thirsty.
        .
        “This is my way of cutting the potrential bs to a minimum. Im trying to sip play the wait and see game.”
        .
        O: Interesting; so, again, let’s say that the guy in question doesn’t in fact reach for his plastic/cash; then what?- Forgive ALL my typos. I meant to say that Im trying to sip. Not play the wait and see game. If he doesnt reach I can still hold a convo with him. I refuse to go thirsty waiting to see if a guy be my 5min sponsor.

        O: LOL. I’m glad you approve! But, I must say – with a goodly degree of interest I might add – that I didn’t formulate the Shaharazad Test for use with “chickenheads”. In truth, Ratchet Sistas don’t trouble guys in that way. No, I formulated it in response to the very kinds of Sistas that comprise the nature of Champ’s post today. And, I have found it qutie effective in numerous field tests.

        -Different breeds of the chickenhead species are being discovered everyday.

        • camilleblue

          SWEET!!!!

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          “To expect is to act entitled to things that belong to someone who is not obligated to do anything for me. So if a stranger that I am conversing with decides that he wants to then thats a nice gesture.”
          .
          O: I see. OK, let’s try it this way – many Women fully expect Men to hold doors open and the like. I won’t ask if you feel this way, but clearly, quite a few Women (read: Sistas) do. Question: why should ANY Man, in the year 2013AD, do ANY of that, for ANY Woman he is not either (A) genetically related to or (B) not currently in a very active sexual relationship? Perhaps you might be able to explain.
          .
          “If the conversation is casual I dont think anything of it. If he is trying to exchange numbers and I finished a drink during our convo and Im ordering another and I pull out my card while he stops speaking so I can finish my transaction, I will assume that he isn’t really worth my time. Men that watch my money transactions are highly suspect.”
          .
          O: Getting a standard number close doesn’t take long at all; I’ve done it in a minute, two at most? Your response is most interesting.
          .
          “I hate to think I’m rare.”
          .
          O: You’re not. Vast scores of Sistas in our time still do expect Brothas to act as if they were living in the Mad Men era, while they enjoy the luxuries of the 21st century. I think not…
          .
          “Forgive ALL my typos. I meant to say that Im trying to sip. Not play the wait and see game. If he doesnt reach I can still hold a convo with him. I refuse to go thirsty waiting to see if a guy be my 5min sponsor.”
          .
          O: Good! The interaction is supposed to be about enjoying each other’s company. Buying drinks should have nothing to do with that.
          .
          “Different breeds of the chickenhead species are being discovered everyday.”
          .
          O: Apparently so…
          .
          O.

          • Sweet GA Brown

            O: I see. OK, let’s try it this way – many Women fully expect Men to hold doors open and the like. I won’t ask if you feel this way, but clearly, quite a few Women (read: Sistas) do. Question: why should ANY Man, in the year 2013AD, do ANY of that, for ANY Woman he is not either (A) genetically related to or (B) not currently in a very active sexual relationship? Perhaps you might be able to explain.

            I dont expect for a man to hold a door for me. I except for a person walking ahead of me to get the door because its common courtesy. I recently had a guy kick it to me like no woman he is with will ever get a door and if i get it im wrong. I told him that he better reach before I do. I m not going to stop in front of a closed door and wait for it to be opened. However, women believe that they train some one how to treat them. If this is so then ppl react to certain situations accordingly. I do agree with the statement but my approach to things are different. I let a person do what they will and if i dont like it I let them know and/or remove them from my life.

    • SweetSass

      When are you going to get your own blog?

      OH RIGHT… you already have one that no one wants to read so you copy and paste it here.

      Smh.

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        Actually, I have quite a few people who read my blog everyday – even when I’m not posting there. They just don’t comment, so you’ll have to take my word for it.
        .
        Annnnnnd, how are you today, Ms. SweetSass? Still hiding behind that God-awful avi, I see. When are you let us all see your face and survey the damage?
        .
        O.

      • H.H.H.

        Hey Hey now, Evil-Lyn, you can’t be the only one to push an agenda, you know….play fair! :)

        • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

          Well, speak of the proverbial devil!
          .
          @Triple H from earlier upthread…
          .
          “Dear Big Bougie Bro.”
          .
          O: I’m not Bougie.
          .

          “Thank you for the dissertation!”
          .
          You’re welcome – I think?

          “*round of applause* #Flocka”
          .
          O: I’m afraid I’m not a fan.
          .
          “i’m trying to see what the best part of this was…
          “Triple H instead, by his/her own admission, wastes a goodly amount of his/her time, again, attempting to upbraid me on a relatively minor point. And this is what Black folk have a very bad tendency to do – get lost in the forest and missing the trees. Majoring in the minors. Making mountains out of moehills. Refusing to grapple with the argument, instead opting to want to take it to the messenger.”

          “Bravo good sir. Bravo! i mean, to break it down so (non)consisely (as typical with your posts)…i mean this is a trademark comment from you! the only thing missing is…data and links proving your point…but since this really isn’t fact, just your conjecture…data isn’t necessary”
          .
          O: *bowing slightly* I don’t write for those who have the attention span of a gnat; since you’ve been able to follow the bouncing ball, you are to be commended. As for the citation of sources – surely, you jest. I cite more sources per capita in this forum than the vast majority of its participants. My commentary is deeply informed by said sources. Feel free to inquire about them at any time you are ready.

          In the meantime, do you agree or disagree with what I’ve said about Game proving itself effective on certain types of Women, over others? Do you agree or disagree, about what I’ve said about White Knights in Blackface – which proliferate throughout the real life venues Champ has noted, and as well as online (I can name names, if you like)? Why are you seemingly so deadset against me imparting information to Brothas out there who may be wanting what I offer? Why does that bother you so? What is it about Game and studied charisma and skilled seduction, that rankles and alarms you? Why all the butthurt? Why all the thinly vieled hate?
          .
          What is up with that?
          .
          Are you really interested in having a discussion – or are you interested in trying to attack me? If the former, I welcome it! – if the latter, all it will do is strengthen my position…and (further) weaken yours.
          .
          “and for the record, you’re quite right, i wasted a godly amount of time (possibly 10-15 minutes typing theses howmanyever responses) on something rather irrelevant, your opinions. but i apologize to the class, to black society, and to you oh great and mighty Oz-sidian”
          .
          O: You were the one who made it a point about how much time you were wasting, after all – which, when coupled with your general all-around butthurtness, does raise some questions as to your motivations to respond to me in the first place. Freud, Jung and Erickson would have a field day with that…
          .
          “Please everyone, sit around, take your notebooks out, and sit at the feet of Obsidian, may he preach the Beatitudes of Game! Verily Verily i say unto thee, those that choose not to heed the words of this wiseman will be destined to actually be themselves around women! While drinking beer!
          (oh and spirits.)”
          .
          O: Reading IS fundamental, dontcha know…and yes, whomseover will, them them come…don’t hateth the player; hateth thy Game…”
          .
          “Signed,
          Table Tennis Master while recording My Debut Allllllbummmmmm”
          .
          O: And here I was thinking you were playing Pocketball…while recording your debut allllllllllbuuuuuuuum…
          .
          O.

          • H.H.H.

            Dear Wizard of Oz (aka Bougie Bro #1; BBB Fraternity INNNNNNCorporated),

            “In the meantime, do you agree or disagree with what I’ve said about Game proving itself effective on certain types of Women, over others?”

            Game works, on certain types of women as you said. are those the women that an man wants?

            That’s…up to him.

            “Do you agree or disagree, about what I’ve said about White Knights in Blackface – which proliferate throughout the real life venues Champ has noted, and as well as online”

            Simps, panderers exist, online and offline. Sh*t i might cape from time to time for the heck of it. if you wanna name names, be our guest, be our guest, put your skills to the test

            “Why are you seemingly so deadset against me imparting information to Brothas out there who may be wanting what I offer? Why does that bother you so? What is it about Game and studied charisma and skilled seduction, that rankles and alarms you? Why all the butthurt? Why all the thinly vieled hate?”

            It’s not butthurt as you say. It’s really bemusement. Well, that’s what i’m aiming after anyway.

            Like, a tiger learning how a hyena gets its meals, and laughing to hisself.

            “Are you really interested in having a discussion – or are you interested in trying to attack me?”

            I don’t have discussions with those who are dead set on pushing their agenda. Who see themselves as 102.7% correct. So no, there is no discussions, there is no attacking. You’re just amusing in my world, on my show, for the current era in time. Nothing more, nothing less.

            Nothing that you push is wrong, all of your data is factual and actual. You’re supremely confident in your vision being correct, that your statistics, data show how “game” works.

            GREAT!

            the bad thing for me, on my home planet of Mars, that doesn’t work. So we do things differently. What exactly do we do differently, is irrelevant. Why? because “Game works”… lol :)

            oh and if you feel butthurt for me picking on you, i’ll stop. i could understand if i had a message i had been divinely inpsired to preach to the masses (well the hundreds, anyway) and this..this… “HHH” just keeps with the annoying side-chatter…
            i could see how that could be a stickler to your plans. So i’ll leave you be for the rest of the week. Cool beans Oz?

            Sincerely,

            Al. U. Card

            • H.H.H.

              whoops, sorry. too much bold. :)

    • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

      @Triple H:
      Ah – there you are! I was beginning to think your heart wasn’t in it. Replies below:
      .
      “Dear Wizard of Oz (aka Bougie Bro #1; BBB Fraternity INNNNNNCorporated),

      “In the meantime, do you agree or disagree with what I’ve said about Game proving itself effective on certain types of Women, over others?”

      “Game works, on certain types of women as you said.”
      .
      O: That’s not quite what I said. I said that Game has a high rate of effectiveness on the kinds of Women Champ was referring to in this post. Game works with Ratchets too, you just have to calibrate for them accordingly. There, fixed that for ya.
      .
      “are those the women that an man wants?

      That’s…up to him.”
      .
      O: Indeed; if not, no harm, no foul. Again, why is it so big a deal for you, being that you’re out there with the Curiosity rover and whatnot? What business is it to you, one way or another? Or is the butthurt so overwhelming that you simply cannot help yourself? Tell the truth and shame the devil, now…
      .
      “Simps, panderers exist, online and offline. Sh*t i might cape from time to time for the heck of it. if you wanna name names, be our guest, be our guest, put your skills to the test”
      .
      O: Sure. The vast majority of “Black relationship blogs that are helmed by Black Men fall into the catergory I mentioned earlier. I’m glad that we seem to agree.
      .
      “It’s not butthurt as you say.”
      .
      O: Riiiight…
      .
      “It’s really bemusement. Well, that’s what i’m aiming after anyway.”
      .
      O: Nobody’s gonna accuse you of being a Marine sniper, that’s for sure…
      .
      “Like, a tiger learning how a hyena gets its meals, and laughing to hisself.”
      .
      O: Well, if no one else toots your horn, you gotsta go for self, right?
      .
      “I don’t have discussions with those who are dead set on pushing their agenda.”
      .
      O: No wonder you’ve been so lonely – because everyone has an agenda. Everyone. Including you. I’m just much more open about mine. Perhaps that’s what bothers you, hmm?
      .
      “Who see themselves as 102.7% correct.”
      .
      O: You have yet to actually address anything I’ve said that was patently false – and I note that this is not by accident. Ad Hominem will get you nowhere, son.
      .
      “So no, there is no discussions, there is no attacking. You’re just amusing in my world, on my show, for the current era in time. Nothing more, nothing less.”
      .
      O: Please. You’re fooling no one but yourself. Your kneejerk reactionary responses betray you. What a shame.
      .
      “Nothing that you push is wrong, all of your data is factual and actual. You’re supremely confident in your vision being correct, that your statistics, data show how “game” works.”
      .
      O: Why does that bother you so? Does my confidence unsettle you? Makes you question all your pretty lie-laden beliefs as to how and why the real world of human mating works? Hmm?
      .
      “GREAT!”
      .
      O: Yes, it most certainly is…

      “the bad thing for me, on my home planet of Mars, that doesn’t work.”
      .
      O: Fear not, for there is hope for you, my son…even on Mars…
      .
      “So we do things differently. What exactly do we do differently, is irrelevant. Why? because “Game works”… lol”
      .
      O: 3 Billion served – and counting!
      .
      “oh and if you feel butthurt for me picking on you, i’ll stop. i could understand if i had a message i had been divinely inpsired to preach to the masses (well the hundreds, anyway) and this..this… “HHH” just keeps with the annoying side-chatter…
      i could see how that could be a stickler to your plans. So i’ll leave you be for the rest of the week. Cool beans Oz?”
      .
      O: Actually, I find you to be endlessly fascinating – as I do all hecklers and haters. Because, well, haters gonna hate and sh*t. Please, by all means – continue!

      Yours truly,
      O.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    This is ME. I spend the first Thursday of the month at the art museum (free) and at art galleries (free food & wine.) All summer long, Friday at noon are free concerts in the park, and free Shakespeare in the park.
    I also go to pay what you can (minimum, or in my case maximum $5) theater, ballet and opera.
    Yes, I do all the bourgie sh*t…FREE

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      Free concerts are great! They have them here all the time in the summer. And they have really good artists. I actually saw both Sheila E and Ledisi for free!

      And there are always free speeches too. I saw Angela Davis give a speech for free! :-)

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        I saw her free too! And got 3 books autographed!

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          Cool. You got me beat. Lol. I didn’t get her autograph.

      • kid video

        Angie(we tight like that) is one of my hometown heros….

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          Your from Alabama?

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            Ahem. I meant; you’re from Alabama?

            • kid video

              Lol…both are exceptable ’round here.
              The state motto was/is(depending on who you ask) “Heart of Dixie”…no wonder why she left for Cali at 17.

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        Yes, I too happened to have caught Prof. Davis live in concert (read; free), so to speak, back when OccupyPhilly was in full force; that’s 30 minutes of my life that I will definitely will never get back…
        .
        O.

        • Todd

          Just be thankful it wasn’t bell hooks. Some people are just beyond parody, and she’s one of them.

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            Yes, I’m afraid you just may be correct on that one…
            .
            Whew…
            .
            O.

            • SweetSass

              Must really burn you that these two women have achieved more than you ever will and are more sought after than you ever will be. Thems the breaks.

              • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

                LOL, hardly. Nothing does my heart good than to see talented people ascend. The question, then, is whether the people mentioned are indeed talented or not…
                .
                Now then – do you really want to have an informed debate, or are you still stuck on stupid?
                .
                O.

              • Todd

                I’m not knocking bell hooks’ hustle, and personally I wasn’t speaking on Angela Davis. (Personally, I have a lot more respect for Angela Davis, because she put that work in on the streets helping people. Ms. hooks…not so much.) I’m just remarking on her…interesting personality. Maybe if she actually was a revolutionary, she wouldn’t have to fake it so hard in person. #shotsfired

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      bless your bougie heart

  • kid video

    Museums are always a great first date for the Bougie set…they like to show that they dig art, and are cultured and chit.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      They went to museums in Medicine for Melancholy. One of my favorite films.

      • kid video

        I havent seen it yet…heard good stuff bout it…that dude from the daily show is pretty funny.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          I don’t watch The Daily Show but, he’s really good in this.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Its on Netflix. I should check it out.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          You should, it’s a great little film.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      as much as I hate bank of america the free museum weekend is so clutch

    • Wild Cougar

      Ugh. Can’t stand people trying to prove they are cultured. It’s clownish and I always feel sorry for them.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        what’s the difference between being cultured and trying to prove it?

        and, if one isn’t cultured but wants to be, aren’t museums a good place to start?

        • GypsyCurl

          It’s all a catch 22 in the bougie world. Trying vs being. Who’s the Talented Mr. Ripley and who’s the one that actually belongs?

        • Wild Cougar

          The difference is in the comfort and the emphasis. If you make a point of it, you are trying to prove you belong to a social class. And nothing shows you are NOT part of that social class more than trying to prove it. If you need someone to see you there or hear about it, you’re trying to prove something. If you just go because you enjoy the art, but the words “being cultured” don’t enter your had or, God forbid, come out of your mouth, then you have enough comfort with the material and you’re not trying to prove something.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “The difference is in the comfort and the emphasis. If you make a point of it, you are trying to prove you belong to a social class. And nothing shows you are NOT part of that social class more than trying to prove it. If you need someone to see you there or hear about it, you’re trying to prove something.”

            i guess what I’m saying is how can an outsider tell which is which? i mean, if i see two people at a museum, how can I tell which one is the poseur and which one isnt?

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

              in my experience, poseurs tend to repeat other people’s ideas, meaning they read the plaques, the listen to the headsets, they need to acquire “information” in order to feel like their experience of the art is valid. then they spend an inordinate amount of time repeating this information verbatim.

              i dont disrespect poseurs, because i understand them. they dont trust their own ideas or interpretations, so they try to cover it up by copying someone else. the only thing that gets me is that i find talking distracting. this is totally personal, of course, but for me art can be very spiritual and i would rather not have words invading my space while experiencing most forms of art.

            • Rewind

              Honestly, it’s no different from fakers of any kind. A fake lover of sports feels the need to remind you they know the teams, players, and stats, but show no true love for the sport. A fake gamer claims to know and play all the famous titles, but can’t express what made them care for games in the first place. If you do something because you like it, it has emotional value to you. Even if you don’t like something and you do it, you still have some kind of emotional response to it. But if you’re trying to show other human beings what you know about something, without them asking or giving you a need to prove your point, you’re simply just trying to be seen, heard, or acknowledged. That’s fakery.

              • Bunni

                precisely.

        • Bunni

          Being cultured is like being rich or classy or educated….if you have to proclaim that you are, chances are you aren’t….

          You can smell the pretentious funk on a lot of ppl who volunteer factoids about their cultural breadth “oh, if i havent mentioned it already, I’m writing a screenplay…thats between my bikram yoga and glass blowing classes down at the learning annex, of course”

          after a while its like BLAHHHHHH, let your actions speak for themselves….

          the bougie events are slowly but surely becoming just as annoying as the ratchet events—just two sides of the same coin.

          Granted everyone has to start SOMEWHERE to be cultured….just go, you dont have to proclaim it and get fb deep on us….just dew yew bew bew lol

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            Is the learning annex still around?

            • Bunni

              i sure hope not lol

  • Corea5

    I feel so guilty….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      that’s ok. you’re not alone

  • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

    Ok, so you get me. Now what? I fall into the category of writer. I have enough unfinished manuscripts that could turn the Sahara desert into a rainforest.

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

      self publish and be happy ~*~ thas what i am doing. i need to. not for money, just for peace.when i abandon my work it haunts me ..

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        I feel you.

      • Rewind

        I want you to help me out. I am in a funk and I’ve decided to finally write a book of poetry, a novel, and a collection of raps. Just need a little guidance for a few steps.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          here’s my only advice :: do what is in your heart. if you are a person who adheres to discipline and structure, use this as your guiding star. if you love chaos, let it be your path. the process is what heals. the end is an illusion. it’s just another step along the way.

          i dont like authority, so i dont want to be one, but in the interest of sharing, i will use my experience as one example. here it is, my official statement on writing :: i have no idea what i am doing.

          it’s maddening, and humbling, and inspiring, and numbing. but mostly it is a challenge to myself, to peel back every last layer so that i can be naked on the page.

          whether someone reads this or not, that’s second of all. first i have to get it out, and that is the hardest thing of all.

          so, back to my advice :: you already know. you dont know everything but you know what you need to begin and that is the confidence and courage that Your Voice Matters.

          cause it does ~*~

          • Rewind

            Interesting take. Ok, I’ll work with that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      listen to esa

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

    I’m not a BBP, somebody lied. I do indeed love free sh t, and have about 3-4 unfinished business plans on uniting black professionals in some fashion.

    • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

      You show here on a regular. That makes you a BBP. You are just not ostentatious about it.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      you need more people

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Making business plans is much more fun…

      • Charcoal Burnt Brother Lover

        + a milli!! :)