It’s well-established that Bougie Black People (BBP) are alcoholics who invented things like “the day party” and “the Scandal watch party” and “the Congressional Black Caucus” just so they’d have more opportunities to drink. But, to truly understand BBP, you need to understand their drink of choice, and why their drink of choice is their drink of choice. Red wine is great with meals, martinis are great for happy hours, beer is for Bougie Black Girls pretending to be cool, and pretending to hate Moscato is great for impressing a new group of potential friends, but nothing is as essential to BBP life as the Bottomless Mimosa.
To wit, if you were to happen upon a herd of BBP in the wild, scouring the streets for Crossfit tips and half-priced scones, ask them who has the city’s best bottomless mimosas, and listen in awe as they manage to name every single place within a 150 mile radius that has ever offered them on their menus.
No one is exactly sure where the concept of the Bottomless Mimosa first came from. Perhaps a particularly enterprising Spelmanite wanted to add some spice to a Delta convention breakfast buffet. Maybe the promise of endless champagne and orange juice was the only way Norman Lear could convince Sherman Hemsley to act right on set. But while the origins are unclear, its place with BBP is not.
Although their Twitter profiles and obnoxious t-shirts might suggest otherwise, many (if not most) BBP are natural introverts who spent much of their high school and undergrad years “studying” and “watching Fresh Prince re-runs” while most other people their age were busy “wearing Mecca sweatsuits in clubs” and “fucking.” But, when they got older and were able to surround themselves with more like-minded people, they managed to be a bit more gregarious and even started attending (and organizing!) brunch events with other BBP. Still, they needed something extra — something that provided a social lubricant while being safe enough to consume in good company — and the concept of a Bottomless Mimosa (appropriately fancy for BBP, and appropriately weak to act tipsy even though you’re really not) was a perfect fit. Pragmatic, even.
Now, Bottomless Mimosa are so ingrained in BBP culture that BBP don’t even use the word “Mimosa” if inquiring about an event, instead just asking if it’s “bottomless.” Soon enough, “bottomless” will just be shortened to “bo.”
I can see it now:
“Is the brunch bo?” the BBP will ask their friend.
“Of course!” their equally Bougie friend will reply. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”