162 thoughts on “Sh*t Bougie Black Girls Say: The Video

  1. you know i love it!!! EVERY single thing ive said at least once, if not A THOUSAND times. but im not bougie doe, im ratchet! LOL

    so glad i got to peep the vid before errybody else!!! bougie bishes be on that #exclusive tip! get like me :)

  2. I do not know any bougie chicks who walk around with that colour hair and the tag still hanging off their weave.
    That being said I’ve probably said everything in here apart from “I’m so ratchet”. Canadians don’t say that lol

  3. I feel a little bit better, because even though I KNOW I’m bougie, I don’t say most of those things. But I do admit to vising MediaTakeOut from time to time…and I do say “Negro” a lot.

      • That’d be funny! a girl has to play him though.
        Please show him talking about “I think women need to approach me….” then the next scene him straight icing a chick that tries to approach him. lol. Show him sending mass “hey beautiful” texts (or chats) when bored (or after being asked by 1 chick to put in ‘too much’ work). Oh and show him staying loyal to kool-aid despite the upgrade in life. lol.

        • Finally…an explanation from a female. So…basically… a diva dude is a cat that received zero play until he got a good job? And he’s mad and treats women like crap to get back at the female species? Is that about right?

          If so…please, no video…don’t encourage dudes to admit to and embrace this foolishness.

          Signed a 37y/o man.

        • All I can do is laugh at this description *smh*. I don’t think ppl realize just how real this “diva dude” is so, it NEEDS to be done.

          Get to it, Champ! Make it happen.

      • “You’re everything I’m looking for in a woman, but my mama doesn’t like you. Deuces, babe.”

        “She slept with me after only three dates. She failed the ho test.”

        “All of the women in my chat list are fine and educated.” Have you dated any of them yet? “Date? Um, I suppose I could try that.”

          • Good one.

            “Seriously…they want to jock me now after they’re all old and used up. She’s 32, has slept with four guys, and expects to compete with the 25 year old virgins banging down my door? Ha!”

            “All these dumb silly b***** want thugs. They don’t want a guy like me who respects women.”

            • I refuse to believe that shat like this transpires up in 2012…

              wait a minute…what about emotional public rants after being dissed? Gotalmighty..I think i got it. Diva dude is another way to say “ol batch made ass nword” huh?

              No vid-e-o…no vid-e-o…no vid-e-o…no vid-e-o…join me in the occupy verysmartbrothas.com sit in movement on this day as we celebrate the memory Dr. MLK. Either today is a slow work day or your azz is at home…tell the authors of this blog not to post a diva dude video…or else. My threat…I will tell my cousins cricket and junebug nem to come to this website instead of mocospace. I’m second generation college graduate (and don’t use either of my degrees)…third generation crazy…i got people.

        • “You’re everything I’m looking for in a woman, but my mama doesn’t like you. Deuces, babe.”

          This does NOT make me a diva dude!!!

          • If mom picks up on some seriously terrible trait, then yes, mom can be helpful. However, for diva dudes, the mom’s disapproval doesn’t have to be justified at all.

            Sometimes the biggest thing between a potential great wife/ girlfriend and a diva dude is his mother and/or sister(s). I used to date a diva dude who had five sisters who apparently mollycoddled all the sense out of him.

          • Now, I’m not saying you’re a diva dude, but your screen name certainly sounds like one in addition to telling a woman you’re dumping her ‘cuz your mama doesn’t like her.

      • Hey let’s switch positions. “Woo girl you are a sexual beast! I don’t know if I can keep up with you!”

        I like to be kissed on my neck. “Man, you’re into that freaky stuff, huh?”

      • “Wait, you don’t get all of yor clothes dry-cleaned?”

        “Wait, all you have is Lipton? You don’t have any Earl Grey?”

        “Wait, does this have bacon in it? I don’t do swine.”

        “What are you mixed with? Your hair is nice.” I’m just a regular black person. “Ha ha ha. Naw for real, what are you mixed with?”

        • Ha! U r killing me Royale! I forgot “Damn that ish u did in bed was nice. You must be a hoe…oh u 26 and been with 3 dudes…see I knew u was a hoe (gotta multiply by 5)” lol

    • Yeah, I don’t Diva dudes are the appropriate corollary to the bougie archetype. Guys don’t secretly want to be seen as Diva dudes. While Diva Dudes are the closest thing to bougie chicks in phenotype, it doesn’t fit for the same reason that drag queens aren’t the most accurate male counterparts for females who wear overly revealing clothing even tough they may literally do the exact same thing.

      I would say dudes talking about how street they are would be a better comparison.

  4. Okay. This was hilarious.

    But, a few things are a little dated. For instance, while brunch is nice (who doesn’t love mimosas?), nothing compares to having afternoon tea or High Tea. The service is impeccable, and it’s a great chance to sit, relax, and really enjoy the experience. The best place I have been to thus far is Serenity Garden and Tea House in West Palm Beach.

    And Target is great for household necessities, but the best place to find accessories and clothing for a great price without jeopardizing quality is Macy’s.

    I do think owning a Passport is important, however, its significance is not so much so that it would be a deal breaker in a relationship. I find that to be a bit silly.

    Thai food is okay. But I prefer kimchi (Korean). Shout out to Chicago’s Chinatown!

    And I am not concerned with “who’s going to be there” as much I am concerned with where the event will be held. Ratchet places attract ratchet people.

    And like the video, I tend to say negro a lot. So much that I almost slipped and call my grandmother one. Thank Jesus, Mary, and Joseph she can’t hear.

  5. i can’t believe how much i can identify with this video. sounds like a convo between me and my girls…. my favs : “this negro” and “i don’t really do…kappas/letters/athletes” that is so me

    we totally use “negro” because we do feel uncomfortable using the other more derogatory version.

  6. “You know I don’t really do Kappas anymore”

    But this! *Dies ever so slowly* They will forever be on my list men I refuse to date. Lessons learned.

  7. i cried tears and then died when he dropped that stuffed dog and start dragging it, i had martin new jack city episode flashbacks of hysterical laughter

  8. LMAO! The only thing I wish y’all would have “done better” is thrown some outdoor sound under the dog walking shot. A little, “Come on, KoKo!” would have been good too (forgive my nitpicking, occupational hazard) :)

  9. Funny!!! I haven’t used any of those lines execept for brunch…mainly on weekends, lol!!

    I don’t know what Groupon was so after googleing it, naw.

    And vanilla almond or soy milk is very good, especially with Irish creme or chai & Oakheart.

      • You don’t do coupons huh…ok…

        Let’s see how “bougie” you are…

        $2700 stainless steel induction top, convection oven and warming drawer…on clearance f0r $549.63. Or there’s a non sale item introductory range oven for $630. Which one would you take?

        • Well Me, the high end range, assuming it’s gas, appeals to me or the chef in me. But the warming drawer’s a much…I’d go with the stainless steel. Can’t go wrong with stainless steel.

          And I have nothing against coupon. Grouponing seems a bit dumb here in Philly. Nothings all that expensive to need Groupon’s for.

      • No Chunk, no Group-oning for me. Not too interested in a lot stuff offered in my area since I’ve done, eaten or drank said offerings at least 3 times. Couponing with groceries, sure. Anything else around here needing a coupon, naw. Philly’s fun but nothing that high post you’d need a coupon for.

    • You kid? My humor/sarcasm detector is weak . . .

      Sir scientist do your research. I haven’t let go of the big moo’s milk, but I know drinking it and eating its products are not what nature intended for me. I’m not lactose intolerant, but most people on the earth are, especially the brown ones.

      • Speaking of science, soy milk has high levels of a molecule that mimics estrogen. Drinking too much of it can cause problems with your thyroid gland (goiter).

        Almond milk has more fat and less protein per serving than skim milk, but is a better alternative than soy.

      • I do Organic Skim/Fat Free cow’s milk. Hits the taste point that I need, without the many many detriments of whole, soy, rice or almond milk.

  10. This started my morning on a amazingly positive note.
    My favorite line in this whole video –
    “This is my favorite type of beige!”

    I am happy to report after hearing these expressions I am sooooo NOT bougie.

  11. Do bougie girls smoke reefer? Seriously…I need to know. And what is the max age for being bougie? Should a 43 year old woman be carrying around a toy dog with 10 year old twins on separate leashes? Or should the dog walk and share a leash with the twins? What are the rules?

      • To answer your question, I think their boyfriends do on the low. (weed)

        Good question on the children on a leash versus dog on a leash. How about don’t have kids if you are at an age that’s too old and tired to hold other people’s kids hand and walk with them or push the babies in a stroller or teach them not to run from you. If you feel tired just at the idea of that, then don’t have kids of your own.

        • That’s good enough for me. Thanks for the answer. I’m not talking about me holding leashes or kids…I’m just trippin on how the dogs look better groomed than the kids.

          I gotta be a daddy some day…no damn dogs though. That’s what siblings are for. Kids can clean up after their damn selves after a while…and paint and clean stuff. What in the sam hell can a dog do? All that barking and the little phucka could literally be kicked through a goal post. I hate little dogs…PETA that shyt.

          • LMAO

            I think that bougie folks keeping tiny yipping dogs is the ultimate in passive-aggression…they have to know there precious wittle beasts growl, snarl, yip at everybody, and will pee on your shoes & will hump their sofa cushions. lmao

          • ” I’m just trippin on how the dogs look better groomed than the kids.”

            And um, yes, I’ve observed that! It indicates that the dog is their first baby and the kid is their second.

  12. So after reviewing the video and careful analysis of my vocabulary and behavior, it is determined that I am indeed 61.5% bougie.

    Detail of findings below:

    Negative:
    - I’ve never used the word ratchet..EVER!
    - What in the he!! is groupon?
    - Sparkling water is gross. Pooey!
    - American Apparel? No thanks.
    - NOT down with the swirl

    Positive:
    - Hell yes!….People and my dog need to do better.
    - Best believe, I will call a Negro a Negro in a heartbeat.
    - Turkey bacon is the ish!
    - Shopping at target gets me aroused. Mmm…
    - Do not tell me you are a Kappa on the first date. Wait until I like you first.
    - Moscato IS a dessert wine. Rappers got Negros drinking it in the club. SMH
    - I DO care about keeping my number down
    - Why would someone call me bougie? I listen to goon music, don’t mind getting my hair wet and can booty shake like a video chick.

  13. Ummm yeah, no. I don’t really do bougie anymore. Nonetheless, the video really resonated with me as I just observed two mid twenty AA women in Nords making all of these statements in that same valley girl twang as they strolled around. SN they eventually left empty handed. I don’t do window shopping either.

  14. But, Ok, i will admit that was funny, although I never say ratchet, and definitely would never dye my hair blonde or wear a blonde weave.

  15. YES! YES! Moscato is a dessert wine nothing irritates me more when I see someone (fb status) talking about they’re going to get full (drunk off of) of that Moscato at the club tonight. It’s a dessert wine!!!!

    • I KNOW!!! Non conformist hippies drinking a certain kind of alcoholic beverage without fulfilling the post entree dietary requirements demanded by the long standing social norms of a society on another continent just because they paid for it. Drinking it just because their biological make up predisposes them to enjoying sweet beverages. Don’t listen to your brain, listen to society and buy some delicious and setting appropriate vodka.

      People’s choice of beverage and genocide really grind my gears.

    • Personally, I don’t think sweet wines go well with dessert. I know they’re supposed to be paired, but sweet and sweet don’t go together. Should be paired with dry. Dark chocolate with Merlot. Ice cream and creamy desserts with Savagnon Blanc or brut champagne. Flavors don’t get muddled. Doncha think?

  16. I have read this blog for over a year and never felt the need to comment on this site. But you had me at “Imma need for you to do better.” Hilarious

  17. Yep, its official. I’m definitely not bougie. Don’t say any of those things. Not a one. Dont shop at Target. Don’t use the word Negro. Don’t say I need anyone to do better. Drink whole non organic milk in my coffee. Not down with swirl, toy dogs. Don’t care about Greeks, what kinda car he drives. Don’t ask if he has a passport.

    I do use Groupon and eat Thai, but I eat Chinese, Italian, Ethiopian, Jamaican, Mexican, etc.

    I’ve never called myself or anything ratchet. Sp? I don’t like most things that are described as ratchet.

    Thanks for clearing it up. I can sleep better now. I’m not bougie. NTTAWWT

  18. After deep introspection, I have come to the realization that bourgie girls use the word “ratchet” (rather than “ghetto”) for the same reason that we do volunteer work on a regular basis: to stand in solidarity with our sisters and brothers yet trapped in the old country*.

    *hood

    • My friends and I usually substitute “urban” for ghetto whilst in mixed company. Otherwise, it’s ratchet all the way!

  19. Everything I have in my refrigerator right now was mentioned……Oh my god he was so cute but I’m gonna need him to do better with that hair. That hair wasn’t bougie it was ratchet!

  20. This video is giving me life right now…LOL.

    I don’t really say ratchet though…that’s like a college age/southern (i think) bougie black girl saying.

  21. I’ve been reading the posts via email and not visiting the site much but I couldn’t not respond to this. Even though I’m late I must admit that I had brunch yesterday, and I can think of list of people (my puppy included) that could do better. Target is my joy–I literally squealed with excitement when I saw that both of my dog’s and puppy’s on a temporary price drop yesterday!

    I’m guilty of the Moscato comment and I pretty sure that’s the only reason I don’t like it. I make it a point to use ratchet every. single. day. Even though I don’t do cold I love pea coats, scarves, hats, and gloves. Winter accessories (usually from Target) makes the lower temperatures more bearable.

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