[Admin Note: Today I’m handing the dais off to the home, S. Malik Husser. He wrote here once before and was a host with me on the now defunct Blaqout radio show on Blis.fm. Please welcome the homey to the podium. Be kind. Play nice. – PJ]
I write this for the guy who wasn’t the star athlete in high school. Who was class president in college, instead of the popular frat guy. This is for the very smart brother who isn’t seen as the cool kid, but definitely cool in his own right.
(PJ Edit: I happen to know Mr. Husser really well. He was both the class president and in a frat. I’m not saying, but I’m saying. I’d also wager that the class president is likely a very popular person. That’s just me speaking though. Malik, I’m looking at you.)
Just an all around great guy who likes a girl, but she’s just not that into you. Matter of fact, she doesn’t even know you exist. Why? Because you aren’t the shiny new object in the club, spraying champagne, with the latest (place name brand here) belt or hat, which could potentially be fake, because, well, bootlegging is real out here. Or because you choose to invest your money into actual assets instead of financial liabilities, like high-end cars, aimless nights partying, or people that you won’t remember next week.
(PJ Edit: I’ve never attempted to spray champagne on anybody in the club. It seems like a great idea for a video but a terrible idea in practice. Ain’t no woman who isn’t being paid to be there who is going to take too well to getting sprayed. Plus, there’s no coming back from that. You’d have a problem on your hands that even Olivia Pope couldn’t fix.More plusses, have you seen champagne prices at clubs? Real talk, in DC at this club called Opera, there is a $75,000 methuselah bottle of Ace of Spades on the menu. NOBODY CAN DRINK THAT. But for $75K, we are gonna try like Frank Ocean does.)
Here’s the thing, she’s not into you, because she can’t see you. And the reason she can’t see you is because all she can see is green…frogs that is. (yeah, there was a double meaning there).
However, even though that’s the case, she’s still beautiful. She’s still sexy…and from afar, she’s inconceivably witty. She’s always laughing, and it seems like she’s always having a good time with all the cool kids, at the coolest parties. Crazy thing is, you are there too, at the same events and same places. But like in high school, her clique doesn’t recognize you, UNLESS you are IN their clique.
(PJ Edit: The best way to counter this is to walk around singing, “ain’t nobody f*cking with my clique, clique, clique, clique, clique…” as this will make people immediately attempt to observe your clique.)
Regardless, she still holds your attention. No matter how many times you see her out with a different man about town, you still see her as YOUR Elizabeth Taylor. Unimagined beauty, that’s timeless. You can’t take your eyes off of her. You’ve even made eye contact once…well, you thought you did.
Still you hold on to hope.
(PJ Edit: This is that Obama stuff. Meanwhile, I’m going on three days of being temporarily fired. Hope deez.)
As you should.
Because in truth, this is her journey, and if you really want her to SEE you, she has to have these experiences. However, you too must walk your own road. So what you don’t fit into her world. You are building your own universe. So what she isn’t paying you any attention, now. It’s not until she’s kissed enough frogs that she will ever realize it.
If all she knows are frogs, how are you to expect her to recognize a prince? You can’t very well walk around wearing a crown and then tell her fix her hair in its reflection. After all, you aren’t Jay Z (no hyphen).
Let her continue upon her path. Jumping from lily pad, to lily pad, living the pond life. After a while, she’ll be exhausted from all of the aimless jumping. And when she’s looking for a reprieve, she’ll notice that there’s a bridge over her moat that leads to a very immaculate structure.
It is then when you’ll find out first hand whether she is your princess. Whether she is actually more than the life of the party….or was she just the party. Her beauty is still inextricably in tact, but come to think of it, Elizabeth Taylor was married 8 times. (Who was number 8?? Geez..)
So, I say to you my fellow unassuming, charming geek that the prom queen never notices. Let time take its course. And allow her frog kissing to commence. In the meantime, walk your journey and watch your path unfold. In the end, if it’s time she needs to earn the lenses to see your beauty, than time she should have. It’s her decision how she ends up.
(PJ Edit: Let’s keep it 100. We outchea kissing frogs too. Some of us are kissing actual frogs. I see WSHH.)
And based on this theory…..Rihanna still has time to finally SEE me one day.
So what say you? Good advice? Bad advice?
-S. Malik Husser