Serena Williams Drinks, Bathes In, And Makes Lemonade With White Tears
Serena Williams just beat Maria Sharapova. Again. Because that’s what she does. Chew bubble gum, beat Maria Sharapova, and win majors. And I have no doubt that, as long as she doesn’t become too distracted by the emojis Drake is texting her right now, she will beat Garbine Muguruza in the Wimbledon final.
There is a particular type of person who will read that last paragraph and become very angry. Whose soul is nicked with every one of her victories. And this tickles me. I am motherfucking tickled. Because it’s almost as if Serena Williams was specifically and intentionally created with the intention of pissing off the most racist sports fans possible. Her entire existence is an elaborate troll for White tears.
Be from Compton? Check. Dominate a sport traditionally dominated by conventionally attractive and affluent White women? Check. Do this while being “so thick that everybody else in the room is so uncomfortable“? Check. Rock literally every hairstyle every Black American woman has ever rocked, and sometimes all at the exact same time? Check. Despite endless attacks on her looks and “masculinity”, continue to have some of the most eligible Black bachelors in the country (literally) fight over her? Check. Have an active dad who gives no fucks about what White people think? Check. Do absolutely nothing remotely criminal or even rude, making the tearjerkers scour the Earth for shit to criticize? Check.
Are you tickled too? Because this is some tickling-ass shit.