Featured, Sports, Theory & Essay

Serena Breaks The Internet. And Hearts. And Your Bitch Ass Too If You Don’t Come Correct

They say a picture says a thousand words. But whoever “they” are have obviously never seen Serena Williams do a split on some makeshift uneven bars for an NY Mag profile; looking like and being every. damn. thing. at the exact same time. Because if “they” saw that, “they” would know some pictures only say one word. And that word is Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

(Or perhaps “they” are actually right. Maybe this picture just says “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!” a thousand times.)

Either way, you can now add “the internet” and “a bunch of hearts” and “literally everyone’s fitness goals” and “the will of bitch-ass motherfuckers who try to engage her but don’t come correct” to the list of things Serena Williams breaks.

Also on that list? Tennis records. Glass ceilings. The mold. And the handkerchiefs used to wipe White tears.

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • ChiChi

    I’m imagining the soundtrack for this photo shoot went something like: Flawless, Golden, BBHMM, Everything is Everything, etc

    • IJS

      …and someone kicked off the photo shoot with a rendering of Phenomenal Woman.

      • T. Marie

        …and a small portion of “Still I Rise”, “Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise?”

        • Jennifer

          …and then Grace Jones showed up to bless the shoot.

      • circa1908

        And they ended the session with “Ego Trippin'” in unison like it was the “our father” at the end of mass, then she rode off on a black unicorn spraying glitter everywhere

    • Aye Bee

      YASSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All those songs playing in my head Chi as I shook it in agreement with this photo. And now “motivation” by T.I. will be playing in my head as I work out and think of this pic in the gym as Damon said #fitnessgoals . At 5’10, 195…i think coming close to this is not intangible.

      • You can get like the Nigerian Powerhouse though!

        • Aye Bee

          Yes, the two of them are amazing!!!!

  • MsKitty

    I could be in the gym 6 hours a day, 7 days a week and still wouldn’t be anywhere near that kind of fabulousness.

    Serena, why you (and FLOTUS too) gotta be a goddess and make the rest of us look like slugs?

    • TeeChantel

      LOL at slugs.

    • CamCamtheGreat

      That’s cuz she been in the gym 6 hours a day, 7 days a week for HER ENTIRE LIFE.

  • GLAMCAM

    Her body is everything and then something.

  • Cleojonz

    Man who? B*tch Please. I’m here for all of this and will throw acid in the face of the next person that calls her too manly.

    • Charles Johnson

      PREACH

  • LadyIbaka

    Yaz.

  • JamesInstagram

    This seriously makes me angry. Serena Williams just ruined the grading curve for all the regular, thick-ass women. Somewhere, Fantasia is fighting the air.
    http://cdn.straightfromthea.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Fantasia-Gif.gif

    • This gif just made my damn day!
      Hilarious.

    • Amber

      Thank you for this good soul laugh on a Monday

    • CrankUpThe_AC

      lmao what could she have possibly been singing?

      • YeaSoh

        Shoo fly don’t bother me? heehee

      • Chris James

        Right? I need CONTEXT. She’s clearly got the spirit, but it doesn’t look too holy.

        • CrankUpThe_AC

          LOL i’ve never seen the spirit move like that. She needs to send that one back.

      • *Crying* Man, that’s the this-situation-is-so-bad-it-hurts-my-soul spirit! Also, I’m almost 100% sure she’s singing “Free Yourself”. She does a couple of holy runs in it.

      • DameloSuave

        This was from one of the Celebration of Gospel recordings on EBT, I mean BET. I think it was her, Coko, Lil Mo, and someone else. Who can find the YouTube clip?

    • THAT meme is EVERYTHING!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

  • amina

    Some people may question why she would pose like this. The answer, simply, because she can dammit, because she can. Serena don’t hurt ’em!!!

    • Mahogany

      Say that again ?

  • Don’t think I’m not contemplating what furniture in my apartment I could use to do the side stretch she shared on Twitter (top candidate is likely my bookshelf).

    • CrayolaGirl

      Use a door way, bathroom sink, countertop, or the back of chairs.
      (can you tell I’ve already been thinking about this?)

  • I should tape this picture to the remaining Ben and Jerry’s in my freezer.

    • kid video

      Tape it to the inside of the front door…Motivation for when ya leave the house.

  • A good portion of white America, some of black America, and sports fans’ slips are showing when they talk about Serena and her “manliness”. So Ronda Rousey gets to be a s*x symbol but Serena get’s to be manly. (Rousey, herself has her addressed her manliness before too. The claims against her aren’t nearly as loud as those against Serena. See the “Do nothing b****” rant.) I wonder what the difference between them is? The slips flap more in the breeze when you look at some of William’s compatriots on the WTA who are around her size but they do not get the same claims. Again what’s the difference?

    • mochazina

      melanin.

    • miss t-lee

      You already know the argument is bulls*t.

    • inYOface

      I’ll tell you the difference – Greatness! Beauty! and her lack of addressing them! When you are that spectacular, you don’t stop to throw bones at every dog that barks!

    • CamCamtheGreat

      I mean…Serena has been a thing for a longer period of time. MUCH longer. Ronda, while by no means “new”, is just now in her 15 mins. Not to say she can’t extend it, but she’s hot right now. Serena BEEN hot tho. More time in the spotlight means more time for people to criticize you.

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