Separate But Equal: About Wyclef, Lauryn, And Loving Two People At The Same Time

From a historical perspective, The Fugees of the mid-90′s and “The Score” were one of the biggest — if not the biggest — phenomenons in hip-hop history. Yet, despite their ubiquity — they sold 16 million f*cking albums, for God’s sake — as a person who remembers 1995 and 1996, I remember Biggie, Tupac, Nas, Wu, and even Bone Thugs N Harmony being a bit more culturally relevant at the time. “The Score” was the album everyone bought and listened to, but there were no season-long homeroom debates about who was better, Pras or Wyclef, and no stories about how people stood in line for hours waiting for their album to drop. “The Score” as an album and the Fugees as a group managed to be ubiquitous and underrated at the same time. Even today, it’s almost as if we forgot that the album “Killing Me Softy” came from was just as popular as that song.

I realize this may be confirmation bias, I can’t help but wonder if the Fugees’ unique place in hip-hop history is largely due to Wyclef and Lauryn’s unique relationship. This thought was further exacerbated when reading a few quotes from Purpose: An Immigrant’s Story — Wyclef’s just released memoir. While most hip-hop heads were already aware of their dysfunctionally functional love affair, the details revealed in a few of these passages still resonate.

From “Wyclef Jean: I loved Lauryn Hill and my wife”

During that time, Lauryn and I ate, slept, woke up, ate, slept, and did music; that was our world. And when we began to tour together, every night was like a fairytale world and we were living in our dream. We’d each have our rooms but we’d always end up in the same one. It felt like that relationship was real, and it was. It was love; it was lust. It was more intense than some teenage romance, because we knew ourselves. It was the type of pure love that burns bright but burns out fast.

I’ve never really gave much serious thought to the idea that Wyclef and Lauryn effectively breaking each other’s hearts is what broke up the Fugees. I don’t even believe Clef’s recent statement about Lauryn lying about the paternity of her child being the cause, either. Instead, I think the uniqueness of their situation produced an album that they’d never be able to replicate. They couldn’t have released a follow-up to “The Score” because the relationship it grew from was doomed. Even then, back in 1996, as we listened to “Ready or Not” and “Zealots” and watched the “Killing Me Softy” video hundreds of times, there always seemed to be a latent sense of “they won’t be able to do this again,” of onemegahitwonderness. Perhaps Wyclef and Lauryn’s relationship was so much of a star-crossed force of nature that it directly impacted how we viewed their music.

Those aware of Wyclef and Lauryn’s love affair are also likely aware that the affair was actually an affair. While he was falling in love with Lauryn, he met, courted, and eventually married Marie Claudinette, a woman who’s still his wife today. From what most of us seem to think of and understand about love, this — a man being in love with and maintaining relationships with two women — doesn’t seem possible (and does seem “selfish” at best and “f*cking triflin” at worst), but Wyclef shared what was going through his head.

It’s hard to explain, but I was in love with both of them. I was torn between the impossible love affair, the whirlwind artist romance, and the solid, good woman who demanded respect. The solid woman had her passion, too. So my life became crazy, because I was in the middle and each of them was passionate about me in different ways. One side was all bound up with music and discovery and my own self-expression. The other side was all about intellect and wisdom and helping me to mature. I did not know what to do; I just knew I had to do something. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made in my life. It wasn’t clean and simple.

Now, casting aside the moral objections to Clef’s admittedly messy behavior, I do think he makes a compelling case for the idea that is it actually possible to be in love with two people at the same time. While I know some would argue that true romantic love is inherently tunnel-visioned — in fact, they’d probably continue, it’s not true love unless you’re willing to completely and totally give yourself to one person — the way Wyclef describes it does make sense. According to him, he was in love with Claudinette and Lauryn for two completely different reasons, and I think it’s possible for that type of love to be separate but equal. It’s not possible for everyone to love this way — some of us just aren’t built for that — but it is possible for it to exist.

The obvious counterargument here would be that since he actually married Claudinette, his love for her must of been greater. Perhaps he was just in lust with Lauryn.

I (obviously) don’t know exactly what was in Wyclef’s head or heart, but I don’t necessarily believe that choosing to marry Claudinette automatically means that he must have loved her more. Maybe the love for Claudinette just made more sense to him. Maybe it felt safer, more permanent, more controllable, and he took an impractical situation and made a practical decision.

Either way, if his memoir is truly sincere, while being in love with two equally awesome women seems like it would be a great problem to have, I can’t imagine a more stress-inducing situation. Considering this, maybe we’re looking at everything the wrong way. Perhaps there was no follow up to “The Score” because he was just too f*cking exhausted.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Make sure you tune in tonight at 8pm to listen to Panama on THE BLAQOUT SHOW on www.blis.fm/theblaqoutshow. Join us for the edutainment! #theblaqoutshow

  • http://www.thefilthytruth.com Ash.

    A fair assessment. There’s a lot of honesty in your post & Clef’s words. I dig it, and I understand it.

    • Breezy

      +1

      Ash, your skin is beautiful!

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        + 2 Gorgeous, clear and glowing like you’re eating the same thing that PJack is eating!

      • http://www.thefilthytruth.com Ash.

        Aww. Thanks! :)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      i think clef’s a great artist. i’m saying that because, while I agree with the sentiment he expressed, i’m not so sure of how sincere he is

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        Basically. I don’t think he is being sincere. He is lying to himself.

        • demondog06

          +34

      • demondog06

        ” i think clef’s a great artist”

        really?….
        i didn’t like anything he pit out post fugee’s

        • demondog06

          pit= put

  • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

    In hindsight he made the right decision.

    • Huh Bruh

      Yessir. Extreme passion can be tempting and desirable, but without a positive outlet it just begins to seem plain ol crazy.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      He knew her better than we did, I’m sure he knew she wasnt all there upstairs

      • whostolethesoul1

        maybe was the source of The Crazy…

        • rissercize

          Naw. Seems like innate crazy. (Lauryn will describe herself as crazy all day long. See MTV Unplugged performance…) Wylef may have uncovered it but that level of crazy is usually innate.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “In hindsight he made the right decision.”

      ***nodding head***

  • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

    I def. think it completely possible to be in love with two people at once. But, I do question how either of those loves will fully develop and grow if you don’t fully commit to one.

    That said, I think the more important take away from this – something I think a lot of women don’t always get – is that men don’t always marry the woman they love the most. They either a) marry the one they’re with when they’re ready to settle down or b) marry the one who is ‘less complicated’, doesn’t fight with them, etc.

    Clef said he loved (and married) his wife because she was a ‘rock’. He loved L Boogie b/c of her creative energy. Man speak: ‘Rock’ = stable, might make a good wife, a good life partner. ‘Creative’ = bat $hit crazy, too many arguments, etc.

    NOW…the most ridiculous thing from all of these Wyclef book excerpts is this:

    “I was married and Lauryn and I were having an affair, but she led me to believe that the baby was mine, and I couldn’t forgive that…She could no longer be my muse. Our love spell was broken.”

    This ninja’s righteous indignation is laughable. How dare he be upset w/ her deception when his morals are also questionable. Fool.

    • Rewind

      haha @ indignation. Isn’t that how love affairs always turn out? Both are guilty but one can’t believe the other had the galls to cross the line. It’s human greed at its finest.

      • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

        Reading that excerpt just pissed me off. The whole situation was messy, both of
        ‘em were just living in the moment, not thinking of the consequences. For him to pin the demise of their ‘love spell’ on her and her pregnancy and her relationship with Rohan Marley is nuts.

        • Rewind

          It is nuts and yet I think he feels the outcome and what became of her afterwards justifies his feelings against her. I can definitely be wrong, but for him to still be holding such strong feelings, there’s something that makes him feel like he has the right to keep those emotions.

          • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

            @ Rewind Brothaman has the right to those feelings becuz look what happened to Lauryn after that! I know The Miseducation was the ish to end all ish but homegirl just ain’t the same no mo! He had this women who was so creative and had such drive to only settle for life as a mom. He’s pissed becuz he knows her potential and knows she can do so much more than just be ordinary. And she is so dang far from being just ordinary.

            • Sweet GA Brown

              But that was Lauryn’s life. And she was entitled to make her own decisions just as he did. She made Miseducation her story and spoke of her pain at the time and lessons learned. For him to feel like he is entitled to an opinion of this womans choice to be a mother first and a artist second is stupid. Seems like Wyclef felt a sense of empowerment living in the moment of loving 2 women and when he realized that the game he was playing with two women was being done to him it hurt his ego. Aint no way anyone can tell me that he wasnt at least stringing Lauryn along selling her pipe dreams of spending forever with him. Then she probably wised up and did her own thing to as was he. Wyclef pride was hurt when that baby turned out to not be his but Lauryn may have stuck it to him like that on purpose. She knew who’s baby that was. Wyclef didnt even have to put that phuckery in his book. Sounds like a petty cheap shot to me. He been waiting years to say something like that.

            • nillalatte

              “He had this women who was so creative and had such drive to only settle for life as a mom.”

              Wow. “Settle for life as a mom.” For some reason the way that is stated just doesn’t seem right.

              • dabigpodina

                Yeah that was kinda insulting to mothers who put they kids before money. Like any good mother. I wanna insult him, but I’ll give him the politician ” I misspoke” benefit of the doubt.

      • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

        “Both are guilty but one can’t believe the other had the galls to cross the line. It’s human greed at its finest.”

        I had a whole response in my head til I read this.
        Grand opening, grand closing.

        • Rewind

          Lights please!

          I know it is picture perfect too, because we’ve all known people who’ve done dirt, but feel absolutely betrayed when someone they have wronged decides to wrong them back. It is ludicris.

    • Huh Bruh

      ‘Creative’ = bat $hit crazy

      Took the words right out of my fingers! That woman is bat $hit crazy. That’s one reason why I believe there is certain level of success that leads to mental instability.

      • rissercize

        I agree she’s crazy but she sho did put on a great performance in Atlantic City earlier this year. I loved the rock rearrangement of her music.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzhY1LgDi4Y

        • Huh Bruh

          I can’t wait to get home to watch this link. Her artistry is still top notch. I just hope she can get back into the studio and vocalize all of the mess she’s been through.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      “I was married and Lauryn and I were having an affair, but she led me to believe that the baby was mine, and I couldn’t forgive that…She could no longer be my muse. Our love spell was broken.”

      Wyclef = jack@ss.

      • jojee

        x10. Ugh. :-/

      • GypsyCurl

        When I first read this statement the other day, I thought it was referring to her recent baby and I was like O_o But alas this story is the past. Leave it there Wyclef. I want current juicy juicy.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I was married and Lauryn and I were having an affair, but she led me to believe that the baby was mine, and I couldn’t forgive that…She could no longer be my muse. Our love spell was broken.”

      This ninja’s righteous indignation is laughable. How dare he be upset w/ her deception when his morals are also questionable. Fool.

      Hmmm. This is a pretty big lie, though.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        right. that’s no small thing. not saying it is justfiable and not just window-dressing as a way out of the situation, but its really not a small thing.

        • http://www.minoritymenshow.com Mr SoBo – www.MinorityMenShow.com

          Agreed.

      • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

        it wasnt a lie it was his faulty a.s.s assumption
        led him to believe= i assumed i was the only one getting that musty dusty
        and he wasnt.

        • demondog06

          musty dusty

          that is all…..

          • http://www.minoritymenshow.com Mr SoBo – www.MinorityMenShow.com

            Yeah…
            When she puts it like that, it doesn’t really sound appealing at all.
            The ‘dusty’ part just ruins it for me.
            Brings to mind images of dirty homeless cooch.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          “it wasnt a lie it was his faulty a.s.s assumption”

          Yup. And that’s all it was. Assumption.

        • naturalista88

          I am so mad you said “musty dusty” *lmao*.

      • sincereluv4life

        so true Champ!!!!

        & @ “Our love spell was broken” wth??? he need to chill with the hoo-doo

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

      “I was married and Lauryn and I were having an affair, but she led me to believe that the baby was mine, and I couldn’t forgive that…She could no longer be my muse. Our love spell was broken.”

      also did she lead him to believe this or did he assume that he was the only one with another love? did he assume he was the only one with options and choice so when she turned up pregnant he assumed he was the “one”? and when he discovered that she also had options he couldnt forgive that? that sounds more like it in my opinion

      • Rewind

        She could have been telling Clef it was his or provided the news in a way that seemed like a positive thing for both of them. We weren’t there, so we don’t know, but you should never take the idea of pregnancy talk lightly.

        There’s enough Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, Maury, etc, to prove that pregnancy talk can be trippy as hell.

        • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

          yeah she could have but he said he was “led to believe” not that she outright told him,
          im sure he chose that wording for a reason.

        • http://www.blogger.com/home Bri

          Damn….what ever happened to Jenny?

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      For real…who is he to cast stones? “The spell was broken?” So then that just proves it wasn’t love. It was an infatuation that inflated your ego and when she was no longer inflating your ego you let her go. I remember reading that he said he kind of coaxed Lauryn into this. She was a challenge for him. This was all about his ego. Once he got that and he no longer had any use for her whatsoever he let her go. And he’s gonna come and talk some ish about how this paternity business is what did it. Please.

      • Rewind

        It’s kind of funny how people can manipulate the story once time passes, isn’t it?

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          I’m tight! lol I’m really not. This situation is just indicative of bigger things in life.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

          there’s a reasonalble chance are that if you manipulate a story after the fact, you’ve been manipulating it all along.

    • griffdamagician

      “I think it’s possible for that type of love to be separate but equal. It’s not possible for everyone to love this way —some of us just aren’t built for that —but it is possible for it to exist”

      Being in love with two people IMPOSSIBLE. A person willing to lie and deceive others is also very willing to lie and deceive themselves if it allows them to do what the HELL. they want to do. That ninja just mad L-Boogie did to him what he was doing to his wife. The justification and selfrighteousness

    • griffdamagician

      “I think it’s possible for that type of love to be separate but equal. It’s not possible for everyone to love this way —some of us just aren’t built for that —but it is possible for it to exist”

      Being in love with two people IMPOSSIBLE. A person willing to lie and deceive others is also very willing to lie and deceive themselves if it allows them to do what the HELL. they want to do. He just mad tL-Boogie did to him what he was doing to his wife. The justification and self-righteousness of a cheater is bull crap. Real love cannot be compartmentalized

      • spottieottiedarlin

        hmm… i don’t know if I agree with this. You can lie to people you love. It happens. Teenagers lie to their parents everyday. being in love with two people is totally possible…acting on it- that’s the unacceptable part.

    • Res77

      “men don’t always marry the woman they love the most. They either a) marry the one they’re with when they’re ready to settle down or b) marry the one who is ‘less complicated’, doesn’t fight with them, etc.”

      And this, is why I believe the divorce rate is so high. I don’t believe women always marry the man they love the most either. People marry for logical reasons and nobody is marrying for love (as in you are “in love” vs. the act of loving someone). The world is so f***ed up.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    Hmm. I don’t think he was really in love with Lauryn. He just thinks he was.

    • Rewind

      But it always feels like love in the moment. Time just gives you the room to question it once its gone.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Love in the moment=deep infactuation=lust

        Wyclef was in lust with Lauryn.

        • demondog06

          what’s the difference?

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

            love honors memory of what once was and still is in that person, alive or dead. love, as i dream it, does not denigrate or degrade, nor does it profit from misfortune by spilling secrets to the world and orchestrating the juiciest bits for a publicity campaign.

        • Rewind

          That may be the reality, but you couldn’t make that argument to 1995 Clef. Whatever was in his heart during that time surely was real enough to him to keep thinking about it 17 years after the fact.

    • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

      Naw, girl. He loved her.

      Men don’t say stuff like (or let their ghost writer pen stuff like) “It was the type of pure love that burns bright but burns out fast” unless they were in love.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

        lol true, ghostwriters stay winning since every ninja wanna write a book, maybe the liberal arts degree isn’t the waste they claim.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Men don’t say stuff like (or let their ghost writer pen stuff like) “It was the type of pure love that burns bright but burns out fast” unless they were in love.”

        LOL, you doubt an artist’s capacity for bullshit

      • rissercize

        Pure love doesn’t burn out fast. That’s why it’s love. It should endure time and circumstance.

    • http://Verysmartbrothas Miss tlb

      This … I don’t think he loved her either. Just trying to justify why he did what he did. I haven’t heard her say anything about what happen with them. People may think she is crazy I don’t, but I respect her for moving on unlike him. He married the other woman and the Marley guy leaves her for another, after 5 kids as a woman sometimes you just can’t win. But men no matter how screwed up some are can find that woman to deal with their baggage. But woman are told to check themselves, how about men and women figure out why we do the things we do. Just my two cents

      • Rewind

        That’s not true. Both men and women, no matter the baggage, eventually get put on their ass, but usually can skate by without people ever calling them on their bullshyte. Someone else is always willing to settle, and that is a sad reality.

    • http://www.BlackLatinaFabulous.com Maris

      Oh no, he loved her.

      She was just his 20%.

      • Justmetheguy

        +1 @ Maris

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      Like I said, he wasn’t in love with her. Pure infatuation and a stroke of his ego. He even said that he started to tell Lauryn she was beautiful and she tried to keep it as a brother-sister thing and he kept pushing it and coaxing her until she gave in. Pure challenge for him.

      • Justmetheguy

        I see where you’re comin from Asiyah, but I don’t think love and infatuation are mutually exclusive (ditto for ego stroking). Nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          No, I agree with you, hon. Just that in this case, I really don’t think there was any love. I don’t think he loved his wife or Lauryn.

          • demondog06

            but why? how could you possibly know what was in his heart or what his motives were?

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              That’s true. I recognize I’m being harsh and judgmental, but based on his tone, this comes across as pure narcissism on his part. To me, he didn’t love any of those females.

              • Rewind

                Honestly, when talking about love, most people sound like narcassists. It rarely sounds humble in this day and age.

                • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                  Yes, that’s true, but this was taken to a degree that I just can’t stomach. At the end of the day, Lauryn moved on to one or two guys after him, had about 5 children. Wyclef, it just doesn’t seem like you are relevant. You might be, not saying you aren’t, but you haven’t spoken to her in years so you really can’t make such a claim.

                • demondog06

                  agreed

                  if you put 4 people in a room and ask them for their definition of love, you’re gonna get 12 different answers

                  basically i can say that some girl who was unfortunate enough to cross paths with me and catch feelings, does not love me, because she doesn’t love me like i would love me if i were her….her definition doesn’t match mine and therefore her love is not love…..

    • whostolethesoul1

      Agreed, and that is why he used the colloquial term “muse”.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    Diddy seems to Love Kim Porter, and one other woman #AtTheSameDamnTime

    And Ev and Chad and that condom speech…never mind.

    I think you can be in LOVE with 2 people at once, I don’t think you can be in two RELATIONSHIPS at once

    • Rewind

      Preach

    • Yoles

      why not?

      • kid video

        why not?

        Yoles always brings dynamite to a knife fight…this post is gonna go over a 1000 comments.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        thank you, Yoles

    • http://www.twitter.com/abrock3000 BmoreCreative

      I think you can be in LOVE with 2 people at once, I don’t think you can be in two RELATIONSHIPS at once

      *passes around church offering and does the Brother Franklin boogie*

      • Breezy

        BmoreCreative: I wouldn’t pass around that plate just yet. There are some thieves *coughs* demondog, PA *coughs* in these e-streets.

        • demondog06

          yeah you already know….i’m eyeballing that plate right now……

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I think you can be in LOVE with 2 people at once, I don’t think you can be in two RELATIONSHIPS at once”

      I don’t think I can — and I’m assuming you can’t — but i think it’s possible. “Big Love” proves that to me and shit

      • whostolethesoul1

        that is love redefined; someone mentioned earlier it should be defined as “comfort”. Just as kim porter is the same as that favorite ______ (robe, shoes, sweatpants, whatever) with the hole that is worn just right…

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    All I can do is point to Agnès Varda’s film Le bonheur (Happiness).

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      I was thinking the exact same thing

    • demondog06

      is that on net flix?

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        Criterion gave Hulu all the rights to stream their movies.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    BTW – why is Monica Lewinsky putting out a book about her “love affair?” Doesn’t she know her relevancy window closed about 12 years ago?

    • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

      Ya know…I question why anyone would write about a past fling, romp, whatever.
      Kissing and telling is so tacky.
      Monica must need some cash.

    • Rewind

      As long as Jay Leno still makes Monica L jokes…she still has a shot.

      And Big Willy is on fire right now! Perfect time for her to be a Jew and get a check out of this.

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      Because the Bill Clinton thing forever changed the trajectory of her life. She wasn’t allowed to go on and have the life she wanted. The woman always lives with the stigma.

      • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

        The affair did change the direction of Monica’s life but, let’s be real, we really weren’t thinking about her. She could have gone on and opened a little corner store somewhere and lived a happy, quiet life.

        She is making a deliberate choice to come out with this book, put herself back in the limelight and remind the public that a U.S. President tickled her lady bits with a cigar.

        • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

          It’s not a matter of the public thinking about her, it’s a matter of her name being synonymous with that affair. From what I understand she wasn’t able to pursue the career she really wanted after that. So I assume some publisher threw a bunch of money at her and she figured why not.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            +1

          • Sweet GA Brown

            But that was the choice she made. She layed down and these were the consequences. It could have happened to anybody else.

            Even Lauryn Hill, with her tax issues. She not writting books about Wyclef to get paid. She accepted that part of her life and moved on.

            I dont believe people that have the ability to make a decision or choice should be thought of as a victim when they were an equal participant. Ijs

            • Breezy

              *rubs chin* I wonder if she still has that blue dress? Hmmmm

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              I see what you’re saying, but it’s apples and oranges. Lauryn Hill can do a concert whenever she feels like for a check. Monica Lewinsky will never be involved with politics because her name is toxic in political circles. It isn’t like Monica Lewinsky can run some random congressman’s campaign without her becoming the focus of the story.

              • Sweet GA Brown

                So what kind of money does monica think she should be making? Is she unable to work at all? Not even a city or state job? Hilary got that much juice?
                Its a lot of ppl that end up not working in their field because of personal choices. But if she lets that hold her back so be it. I dont think her credibility was tarnished so much that she is unable to work in the field.

                Real talk she sucked one and she can suck another. But writing a book doesnt bring her closer to her dream if thats really what it was. Seeing how both affairs were in the media and it crippled both their careers, I can see how lauryn continued to the beat of her own drum even if she is looked at as “crazy” but Monica that did interviews and presented the jizzed dress looks like a victim to a society that wont let her get ahead? Come on.

                • CrayolaGirl

                  Yeah, I never felt any sympathy for Monica…..the dress is what did it for me. When you save semen stained clothing, you have an agenda. It made me wonder what her game plan would have been if President Clinton has held her head and aimed straight down her throat.

                  Her name will forever be known because of her choices.

                • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

                  @Sweet

                  “So what kind of money does monica think she should be making?”

                  Apparently she thinks she should be making 12 million dollars. Lol That’s how much she got to do the book.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        It is amazing how everything Monica did post-Bill Cigar Clinton to make an income for herself failed. Who remembers her failed bag line? Those bags were UGLY!

      • demondog06

        or she could’ve jus shut the fuq up instead of braggin and been a senator by now…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      well when your well runs dry, and you can make money off of it, you write a book about the thing that made you famous in the first place.

      i think the bigger problem is that she managed to create a book out of blowing Bill Clinton. THAT is the issue.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Doesn’t she know her relevancy window closed about 12 years ago?”

      Perhaps Lewinsky related things stay open longer than others. (I’m so clever and shit)

      • whostolethesoul1

        ***clutching pearls and thinking of cheekie****
        hhhhhhhhHwhat?!

  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

    It’s not a nice story, it never has a clean outcome, but it is possible to love two people at the same time. One person gives you something the other lacks and vice versa, but together, they would be the perfect match for you, but because God really enjoys f*cking with people you can’t go Dr. Frankenstein and mesh the two together. So what do you do? You do what’s right for you long term. You chose the person with whom you can build, the person who destroys you in the least painful ways and builds you up better than before.

    It’s human. It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just something that is. And if we’re lucky, or unlucky depending upon your perception, it doesn’t happen often.

    • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

      “the person who destroys you in the least painful ways and builds you up better than before.”

      Nice…

    • Rewind

      Polygamy seems like a good option sometimes…depends on who you’re dealing with though.

      • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

        But would you share a woman with another man?

        • Rewind

          No, I can’t share anyone, but that’s just me. I can see how some people can fall in love with more than one person at a time though, and see how all parties can balance it out.

          • Yoles

            open communication, trust, honesty, respect and hard work… along with true connections, real love and some lust for good measure ;)

            • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

              I’m glad you added lust. :) You can have lust w/o love but love w/o lust is just…friendship. Even when you are too sick, too old, whatevs to act on the passion within, you can go inward and think about the passion.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Polygamy seems to be a good option when you look at the math and probability but not when you look at the human component. The human component is very volatile, changing with every passing day. For polygamy to work there needs to be a clear understanding, rules, and explanations that not a lot of people have time for and a certain level of consistency.

        Personally? I couldn’t share my dude. I love him too much to think that he’s loving some other woman half as much as I think he loves me. My ego isn’t big enough for that. I wouldn’t want to love anybody else like I love him because that’s giving too many people too much power. He has all the strength in the world, with just two or three sentences, to ruin me. Giving two people that power? Not gonna happen.

        • Rewind

          I can understand that, and I feel the same way for the same reasons. I can’t give my heart to someone knowing they can’t return the love back the same way. But clearly polygamy works for some when the rules have been established. I really don’t think the concept of relationships is truly what was meant for humans, but since we created it, we have to take all the components that come with it, both good and bad. But the bad seems to define what we are supposed to stay away from yet always end up with.

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            The concept of relationships was made by humans, yes, but what alternative is there?

            Love has evolved, as have we (most of us) to accept that some people’s definitions vary, but the key, I think, is finding someone who’s definition matches your own.

            • Marshal

              I think this is just My Opinion, but Faith and Morality seems to be the onlt two things that shepherds (Most) of Man’s Emotions and Feelings towads being monogamous, while the rest Try to Love 2 (or more) at the same time, i.e. polygamy, “cheating”, etc. I think Wyclef DID love his wife and Laurymn, and clearly he Cheated on Both of them, but you don’t have to be a celeb or famous to feel that way- but having a great way of words and intellect to phrase your felings and thoughts to sound less of a douche/ a$$hole is a plus

              • Marshal

                *typing on a iPod= typos, this sucks big time SMH

              • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                Faith and morality, not love and respect for his woman? Interesting.

                • Justmetheguy

                  I think morality more than anything else.

                  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    So because he doesn’t want to look bad in front of other people? Isn’t that more about ego?

                    • Justmetheguy

                      @ Tes- Maybe. I was referring more to ONE OF the general reasons why men ultimately choose monogamy. That doesn’t mean (or even imply) that he doesn’t love and/or respect his wife though

                • Marshal

                  I see it like this:

                  A) Manure (Crap) is fertilizer for Grass
                  B) Cows eat Grass
                  C) People Eat Cows
                  So can People (C) eat Manure (D) directly??

                  A>B>C = A>D???
                  Of Course Not!!!! (unless you’re insane or MMA star Machina, who drinks his piss to “cleanse” his system to train and fight better)

                  The farfetched and crazy rationale for (Most) Cheaters is that while the are smanging, they still Love their S/O; Ex and Love can be Separate and Different things, even though Love can LEAD to Sex, not necessarily Sex LEADS to Love….

                  But people- Men & Women- CAN have and DO have Sex without Emotions; whether they are in a relationship or not. It’s truly Subjective as to IF a person can Love 100% or be “all in” or Love somebody and still have reservations based on being played/hurt before or falling in love for the 1st time and hearing stories from others who Did and Were Hurt a time or two.

                  Without trying to sound like Obsidian 2, my point is that Polygamists, Cheaters, Swingers/ Open Relationships, Single Ppl who like to Smash just for Pleasure, or whomever else have Logical and Rational reasons for “their” kind of Love, and those Not Like That have to @ least Acknowledge that. They don’t have to Agree with it or even be Persuaded to go down that road, but KNOW that these people Exist and Have their Reasons/Mindset/Beliefs for doing/living how they do……

      • http://dopereads.com Terryn

        Maybe polyamory is a better way of putting it…polygamy makes me think of disenfranchised women.

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          Personally I can’t think of any relationship where a man is down with his woman willingly accepting peen from anyone but him. Gotta love that double standard. Polygamy, in the sense of disenfranchised women, fits.

          • Yoles

            not true… i completely believe that the stigma given to men (what he lets his women get boinked by other dudes he’s a punk, wuss, wimp, weak man) and to women (oh she just doing anything she can to hold on to him including letting him run around with other women) is the reason why more people that live the polyamorous lifestyle choose to stay hidden AND quiet. that coupled with the idea that it always means a man with numerous women… but that is not true, there are so many people living varying levels of polyamorous happily… both men and women, making the informed, open hearted choice…

            • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

              I can’t roll with that Yoles.

              • Yoles

                Everything aint for everybody Tes

                • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                  No ma’am, it ain’t.

                  :) *hugs* I missed and love you though!

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              You’re assuming that people actually have open hearts though. Also, while there are couples that works with polyamory, the jacked up situations you’ve mentioned exist. Trust me, I’ve seen all of the above live and in 1080p HD.

            • Marshal

              I agree, Yoles. Some people can’t deal for whatever reason, but things like this, FWB, Open Relationships, and so DO Exist and Happen or else we wouldn’t know what they are Or talking about them. People speaking with Emotions, Morals, and Ethics behind tend to numb the Logic of situations, but nonetheless it Makes Sense to (Some, if not Many “hidden”) People……

            • Rewind

              Exactly. I only know from what I’ve seen, but it’s clear some people have had success of being with mutliple partners, no matter the gender, and each party can mutally agree on the terms of how the relationship should run, but won’t blab it to the world.

              Except the ones who end up on Real Sex or some polyamary show on Showtime.

      • African Mami

        Polygamy is not a good option, like ever!

        I KNOW for sure, I’d stay fighting the others!

        • kid video

          Polygamy is not a good option, like ever!

          I thought polygamy was pretty common in certain African countries?

          • Suga

            Polygamy is still pretty common all over Africa. The key is separate housing for your different wives and kids, preferably in separate cities :) and wealth. My bestfriend’s dad has 4 wives with her mum being the last wife, has 4 other siblings and no idea how many half-siblings(it’s unafrican to count your seed..lol)…I don’t believe love factors in such relationships at all, it’s more of an ego thing for the men- more wives/kids=big man, and for the women, they’re financially supported and they get the respect of being big man’s wife…see King Mswati III…
            The wives bicker like teenagers and the kids end up with some serious issues…my bff for the most part is a strong independent fun-loving lady until her dad calls/visits then she turns into this whiny child who can’t think or make simple day to day decisions let alone show up to work. That is not a way to live.

          • kmplx

            just because it’s common doesn’t make it a good option. and very often, it tends to reflect a lack of other options…
            apparently, it has it’s benefits (according to the slimy men advocating it, and the gold-diggas that prefer the breathing space from the geriatric they married), but, more often than not, when it does work out well for all parties involved, it’s a clear case of love as a second-hand (read redundant) emotion.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          LOL @ Mami!

          I think it works for some people, not all. As long as you know that you can’t handle it and your man respects that, then you’re good.

          • African Mami

            Hey girlliiie!!

            “I think it works for some people, not all”

            Trust me, polygamy WORKS; has been, and will continue to, long after our generation is gone. But what I cannot reconcile in my mind is, the issue of settling for less. Basically, a polygamous union is akin to a jungle scenario where the lion [husband] is king, and the rest [all the wives] are his subjects. He gets, ALL the attention, while I wallop in wanton distress about love and no attention. Forget it. I would rather be in a one man/one woman union, in which I am not directly competing with women that I do NOT like. There is no way, we can ever be friends. Always, enemies. I’d stay scheming too.

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              I’m so the opposite. I can see myself getting along with the other wives, just not with the husband LOL. What I like about you Mami is that you know yourself. You know that you aren’t about that, and won’t settle for it. I think the issue stems from when you don’t know yourself and feel you can handle it and realize that you can’t when put in that situation.

              • African Mami

                girrrl, how you gonna get along with the other wives, and not the husband?! Wow…that is a very, very interesting angle. Watch this documentary, I think the first wife, is like you-but only because her husband left her no choice.

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVUhNP0pfuA

                • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                  Oh I’m going to watch this!

                  Me and boyfriends/husbands don’t mix. I see them purely for sex. If I had a cowife we’d be able to hang out and hate on our husband together LOL!

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Or polyamory.

    • chameleonic

      I totally agree with this, well said.

      • chameleonic

        @ tes lol

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          Thank you :)

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan

      “It’s human. It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just something that is. And if we’re lucky, or unlucky depending upon your perception, it doesn’t happen often.”

      agreed. since folks stated yesterday the concept of multiple ‘kindred spirits’, it’s totally logical to love more than 1 at the same time. however, one must make a choice, because while someone can love multiple people at once, i personally believe that the love that is transmitted to option a, will not be the same love transmitted to option b (or c, etc.)

      that being said, The Score had arguably the greatest skit of all time. of ALL TIME.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NfJ5IH7-ik

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        That and the Mad Rapper skits are the ultimate classics in skits. :)

    • Keisha

      I agree…I’ve been there, done that, not ever trying to do that again. Reminded me of the book A Tale of Two Cities…”It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” :-/

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “…the person who destroys you in the least painful ways”

      damn, lol.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Hey, it sounds morbid but it’s true. The person you love is gonna hurt you, you just gotta trust them not to do it for no reason.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          No, you gotta trust that you will survive being hurt. You gotta trust that you do not give all of yourself away to people you love. Keep a portion of yourself just for you. Men generally do not give all of themselves away and be destroyed and unable to function in life like women will.

          Lauryn is the one who had the nervous breakdown (allegedly) Wyclef was still working while she was “finding herself”

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    The Score was the last album of the golden era of hip hop. And I don’t believe a word Wyclef says.

    • Inqueerie

      That’s real talk right there!

    • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

      State yo claim Miss Thang what’s ya beef with a man stating his truth?

      Why don’t you come on over Valerie

      • Sweet GA Brown

        It might just have something to do with the fact that its “his truth” as opposed to “the truth.”

        • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

          Exactly@Sweet

        • demondog06

          his truth vs the truth…what’s the difference other than how an outsider lookin in perception of it?

          what makes his truth not a truth?
          because you don’t accept it?

          • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

            Wyclef has a history of dishonesty.

      • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

        *Looks around room for someone named Valerie*

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

      Clef isn’t the most honest brother #YELE, but something ruined the Fugees and this makes a lot more sense. But of course I’m sure there’s three sides to every story, but Lauryn been too gone of that Marley to ever give hers

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        maybe so, but at least got The Carnival (one of THE most criminally slept on albums in hiphop history, despite its record sales) and The Miseducation (an album that while I’ll conced is a classic never truly moved me as much as it did everybody else).

        Those two were competing…it’s like they were the hip-hop version of Love & Basketball, except with The Breakup ending.

        • http://www.minoritymenshow.com Mr SoBo – www.MinorityMenShow.com

          “…The Carnival (one of THE most criminally slept on albums in hiphop history,…”

          I’m no hip hop guru or fanatic, but on the real, I’m glad I’m not the only one that felt this way. That album was a solid album. “Anything Can Happen” was my guilty pleasure.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        what ruined the Fugees is exactly what ruins most bands–EGOS. and also, this was 1996. By the late 90s, the music business changed. It became more business, less music. the end of their “reign” was bound to happen, regardless of a love affair. that’s something Wyclef needs to digest.

        • demondog06

          real talk

          it was 1996 that the last great hip hop album of the 90′s dropped and that was atliens

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            Man I miss the 90s! Rap, rock, hell, even pop was at its best then. I’m missing Fiona Apple right now :(

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        The rumors about he and Lauryn, and watching Lauryn fall the fluck apart led me not to be surprised about the Yele fiasco.

        During the Fugees days, I remember one Vibe or Essence interview where it was said that she was getting her makeup done with tears rolling down her face.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “The Score was the last album of the golden era of hip hop.”

      so, you think the Golden Era ended in 1996? I think you have to push it up a couple years to ’98

      • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

        I can’t think of a hip hop album as big as the score that came out in ’97 or ’98. So The Score seems like a good line of demarcation between the golden era and what we have now.

        • demondog06

          i just mentioned this up thread but you had outkast atliens drop in 96, you had wu tang forever in 97 ATCQ the love movement in 98′ i would say slum village fantastic vol 2 in like 98 or 99 but alot of the joints from that album was from the mid 90′s,
          99-00 send the acension of rawkus records whiched birthed blackstarr reflection eternal etc……

          • demondog06

            send = seen

  • http://twitter.com/laviyah L

    I agree it’s possible. I have seen it with my own eyes. Men in a relationship with two (or more) adult,mature, professional women and they all live together or have separate living arrangements. Anything is possible when it is all out in the open.

    I was with Wyclef until the tone of his writing turned to blame at the whole love triangle/rectangle thing. Has he still not forgiven Lauryn for actively pursuing another relationship while having sex with him? (that really seems to me like what his beef with her is truly about)

    • Rewind

      All ego…and that’s pathetic. But I bet he laughs because had she stayed…she would have at least not gone off the deep end simple because of Marley peen.

      • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

        Marley peen is powerful.

        • Anastasia!!!

          clearly.

        • Rewind

          They should trademark that shyte like they do everything else…coffee, pens, condoms, rolling papers…Marley peen coming to a store near you.

          • https://twitter.com/GirlGetALife V.E.G.

            I’m sure they’re trying to figure it out.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            ROTFLMAO! Marley peen, coming to a store NEAR YOU!

            • Breezy

              That is so real….all the way back to Rita that peen was killing them softly.

            • Rewind

              Dude I’m dead serious, go down to Jamaica, and you will see they have an empire with the Marley name. I’m so surprised they don’t have a dildo on Adam&Eve.com yet.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        I always thought it was Wyclef peen that set her off, and Marley peen pushed her over the edge.

        • Rewind

          Nah, Lauryn was already off the hinges, and I’m aware that came with her being such a budding star.

          I see all this talk about her talent for music, but people forget, she was going to be an actress too. I think the pressure was just too much when you get singled out as the most talented of a group and EVERYBODY wants a piece of you.

          • http://twitter.com/laviyah L

            going to be an actress? she had a regular role on “As The World Turns” before the music… When they blew up, I remembered her as, “that girl from the soap opera”, and then she simply became Lauryn Hill.

    • Yoles

      as someone who has had a relationship with someone that was in another relationship, i think he just felt betrayed… yes they were having an affair but they were in a relationship with each other, hence she cheated on him within the context of their relationship and he got salty about it… imo

      • Justmetheguy

        Yeah, I agree with your assessment Yoles. Even if their relationship was out of order and triflin, it was still a relationship

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “yes they were having an affair but they were in a relationship with each other, hence she cheated on him within the context of their relationship and he got salty about it… imo”

        of course, yoles comes through and makes perfect sense of out messiness.

        • Yoles

          *taking a bow*

          well, i do try :D

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        The affair cancelled out his right to have Lauryn all to himself.

        If there was no affair–full awareness and agreement by him and his wife that he could have a girlfriend, I’d have more empathy for his saltiness about not knowing about Rohan & thinking the baby was his.

        • Rewind

          That’s not true. Lauryn was smashing him while fully aware he had a committed relationship, ergo it is an agreement on her part to be with him while she was single. But if she got someone and never mentioned it to Clef, I can see why that would come off as a betrayal, she changed the game without saying so.

          Yea to us on the outside, with our morals and judgment, we can call bullshyte, but in the moment, it will always feel totally different.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            In polyamory relationships the rules apply to BOTH people or ALL people not just the man. The end.

    • Sweet GA Brown

      Pride is a helluva drug.

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “Has he still not forgiven Lauryn for actively pursuing another relationship while having sex with him? (that really seems to me like what his beef with her is truly about)”

      Basically. All ego. He’s just mad she smartened up and beat him at his own game. People don’t like to taste their own medicine.