Sean Kory Will Take Your Breath Away…When You Hear About How Incredibly Dumb His Actual Crime Was » VSB

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Sean Kory Will Take Your Breath Away…When You Hear About How Incredibly Dumb His Actual Crime Was

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Apparently the internet (and by “the internet” I mean “women” and by “women” I mean “the thirsty women of the internet”) is all aflutter over Sean Kory, who has taken Jeremy Meeks’ place as everyone’s favorite mugshot guy. No need to hate. If the thirsty men of the internet can have Jhonni Blaze and Erica Mena, the women can lust over lightskint predicate felons too.

Still, after hearing about what Kory did — attacked someone wearing a Fox News costume at a Halloween parade because he hates Fox News — you have to wonder if women think he’s worth the fantasy, because role play is definitely out of the picture. You can’t be a naughty cop because he might think you’re a real cop and jump out your window. And you definitely can’t be Wonder Woman for Halloween cause his ass might jump out your window (again) because he assumed you’d be able to fly and catch him before he hit the ground. And you for damn sure can’t be a sexy pirate because he’ll get mad at you for exposing him to dysentery.

That said, you could always just play tennis. You could even pretend he was James Blake, but if James Blake was a crazy motherfucker who beat people with tennis rackets for wearing Halloween costumes.

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  • PunchDrunkLove

    “Apparently the internet (and by “the internet” I mean “women” and by “women” I mean “the thirsty women of the internet”) are all aflutter over Sean Kory, who has taken Jeremy Meeks’ place as everyone’s favorite mugshot guy.”

    Stupid is as stupid does…nothing sexy about that. Sometimes we go from bad to worse. Jesus take the wheel.

  • Meridian

    That’s pretty hilarious.

  • LadyIbaka

    Ummm, damn. he is literally #lockedthephakkupandhefoinerthanamutha #protecthimJesusinthere,protectFatherLord

    • PunchDrunkLove

      “hefoinerthanamuthaprotecthimJesusinthere,protectFatherLord”

      Pretty in Prison ain’t a good combo….I had to laugh at this…lol

      • LadyIbaka

        girl, you already know. keep him in your daily prayers, cause mmmhhh…

        • PunchDrunkLove

          There’s a special boo thang waiting on him.

    • IcePrincess

      Lol! I swear I thought of you, soon as I saw the picture ;)

      • LadyIbaka

        You already know he bae!! :))

  • Wild Cougar

    He pretty tho

    • PunchDrunkLove

      Meh…he’s got gray eyes. I’ve seen prettier, WITH a clean slate

  • cakes_and_pies

    Meh. No one is interested in being think pieced to death over aggravated battery Jesus.

  • iamnotakata

    The thing is….he’s just lightskin, He aint all that fine, And parently California is the capital of lightskin, mulatto felons…specifically the Bayarea both these melanin deficit criminals from there.

    • Val

      Nope, do not blame these guys on the Bay Area. This one is from Santa Cruz and that other one is from Sacramento. Neither of those cities is in the Bay Area. We will not be claiming these goofballs.

      • Neptunes presents The Clones

        Look at Val,playing defense for San Fran lmao

      • iamnotakata

        Lol close enough, and depends on who you ask really, Sac was stretch but folks claim Santa cruz as the Bay Area I even here on the news from time to time. But one thing that is a fact, they both from California lol

        • nillalatte

          Haha… land of granola… fruits and nuts. :)

  • Charlisia Nwachukwu

    *licks lips* … I don’t want to take it home (or even to know where home is) but I can admire. Maybe this warrants some female street harassment.

  • uniquebeauty79

    I doubt he even knows what “dysentery” means lol…no worries about that…but he can keep his felon ass where he is NOT MY TYPE. I like mine educated and with goals, and by goals I don’t mean one level further on some bullshit game.

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