Theory & Essay

Saginawesome In Saginaw, Part III

(This part is going to be mad shorter. I’ve run out of steam and real talk, the last day was the wedding. And honestly, I’m only really tallying all of the drinking that was done, for historical purposes.)

Back up at 9am. My sleeping sucks when I’ve been drinking but not drunk. But the homeys, we all planned on meeting at the restaurant that my boy used to work at in NYC, Pizzeria UNOs, for lunch. The wedding was planned for 630pm, which means that we had A LOT of time to kill before hand. We’re in Saginaw, not NYC. So we went to eat lunch with a group of about 20 people and immediately took three shots of Crown to celebrate my boy’s nuptials. Then I drank three Hurricanes. Listen…

…the Hurricanes at UNOs banged. At least they did at that one on Tittawabawasee (it’s entirely possible I fucked that all up).

After that was a bunch of naps and drinks and mackin’ and hangin’ (a term I worked into my best man’s toast) until 515pm, when it was back to the funeral home to take pictures.

IMG_1940Again, back to the funeral home to take pictures. We took wedding pictures…at a funeral home. Now, mind you, this didn’t really bother me at all. Two days around a funeral home and I was already desensitized, but its still interesting when you take a step back. The wedding was fun, though it legit started an hour and a half late. The reverend was an unintentional hoot but I’m trying to get into heaven so mocking a reverend on VSB seems like it might get held against me for perpetuity. St. Peter might not underwrite my mortgage in heaven, ya dig?

Though, the amount of side-eyeing and outright laughing I did during the ceremony was referred to as a “highlight” of the evening. God ain’t done with me yet and I suck at withholding my “WTF-ness”. I’m trying, y’all.

The reception was fun and we all danced the night away. I got to give a toast as the best man and was super excited to do it. The night concluded at the same lounge we went to on Thursday night, Retro Rocks, where more shots were had and more cheap drinks were drank. The bouncer and bartenders remembered us so there were some free drinks and shots on deck.

Funny enough, there were splinter groups that night. A few of the folks went back to Buffalo Wild Wings to chill out and freakin’ Anthony Hamilton was there! There were no such celebs at my location…except for us! BAZINGA!

IMG_1932The night closed and on Sunday the vast majority of us rode out of Saginaw into the sunset of our respective homes, always remembering, and never forgetting those three days in the Sagnasty! Most of us will probably never return, but hey, we did it, we made it, we lived it, we loved it.

It was Saginawesome!

 

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • brothaskeeper

    Casket sharp!

  • Aly

    I sat next to Anthony Hamilton and his entourage at the Flying Fish in Little Rock a few years back. I didn’t want to interrupt his dinner by asking for a picture, but other people did and he was really cool about it.

    • He is, he’s actually one of those people who gets disappointed if you don’t recognize him

      • YeaSoh

        I don’t know why but that’s funny to me

        • I just picture him smiling and getting ready to pull out a sharpie and someone just walks right on by…. Humbling.

          • YeaSoh

            lol… I can definitely see that

  • Dougie

    I imagined the reverend to be a mix between Anthony Hamilton and Sexual Chocolate.

  • uNk

    Any drinks that range from Free to ($3-$6) will make any even the best time you ever had lol

    In my experience though, free liquor is the devil

    • miss t-lee

      Open bars. Always evil.

      • HeyBooHey

        Open bars with premium liquor is the same as St. Peter letting you into heavenly VIP. Open bar with rail liquor is the evilest of evil

        • miss t-lee

          All facts.
          ALL FACTS.

  • Lea Thrace

    That tux and socks combo you have going just got you put on the e-bae list! Fresh!

  • What the heck was Anthony Hamilton doing in Saginaw?

    What’s up with those polka dot socks bruh?

    And I need to make me an out of state Road trip for some cheap drank and random a$$ bars. I need to get back to the real. Glad you enjoyed your trip!

    • panamajackson

      Those polka dot socks are killin’ the game bro.

      As far as Anthony Hamilton, he and Chrisette Michelle had a concert there.

      • I know that show was the talk of the town. LOL

  • Breezyx2

    PJ, looks like you had a jolly good time. Totally digging the socks and whatnot.

    Anywho LMNOP you’re slacking today! Folks have been wanting to play the game so here it is for all those interested in shooting their shot. Go!

    Which VSB/S would you:
    1. F@ck
    2. Tie up naked, laugh and leave
    3. Marry
    4. Haunt if you were a ghost
    5. Play an 8 hour game of Monopoly with
    6. Marry as a sister wife or whatever the male equivalent of that is
    7. Go to a strip club in Michigan with
    8. Get falling down drunk in a strange land filled with unicorns
    9. Set up in an arranged marriage
    10. Give the super power of your choosing

    • Agatha Guilluame

      I’m only playing if Meech plays.

      Which VSB/S would you:
      1. Fuck – I gotta give the people what they want so obviously Todd. #toddgatha2015
      2. Tie up naked, laugh and leave – PJ because petty begets petty
      3. Marry Meech. I don’t want him to be happy so I gotta be in his life to make sure of it.
      4. Haunt if you were a ghost Meech. When I marry it’s FOREVAAAAA muahahahahahahaha.
      5. Play an 8 hour game of Monopoly with Kola Boof Wild Cougar. If only to make her watch all her neighborhoods get gentrified.
      6. Marry as a sister wife or whatever the male equivalent of that is Camille or Breezy. I can’t choose. One will do all the housework and one will do all the fucking. Guess who’s who.
      7. Go to a strip club in Michigan with Meech. Only for him to watch me turn away every chick that approaches him and asks him if wants company.
      8. Get falling down drunk in a strange land filled with unicorns Rachmo. Might as well do it again.
      9. Set up in an arranged marriage AP and Sawyer. That way no one gets what they want.
      10. Give the super power of your choosing John Shannon. I give him the gift of grammar.

    • Medium Meech

      1. Fuck: Cheekie, she’s the only VSS’s left areola I’ve seen on the internet and she lives in Chicago so It’s only natural ending to this story
      2. Tie up Nacked, etc..: Paddyfoote princess. Cause paddy rhymes with petty
      3. Marry: Agie, the key to a healthy marriage is a spouse who will methodically track and display old transgressions.
      4. Haunt if I was a ghost: Val’s erotic Tumblr
      5. Play an 8 hour game of monopoly with: Gem. Playing house with her seems like it would be entertaining.
      6. Marry as sister wife or whatever: Breezy. It’s time to get the band back together.
      7. Go to a strip club in Michigan with: minx
      8 Drunk/Unicorns: Agatha. The anthropologist in me want’s to see the effect of adding the living incarnation of Gomorrah’s social deviance into an idyllic unicorn society
      9. Set up in an arranged Marriage: Sham and Von. Cause neither is bold enough to do what’s right
      10. Give a super power: AP, the power to pick a team that can finish when it matters

      • Cheekie missed a golden opportunity for the get off my areola gif

      • Cam is fine, my Panthers are fine, hate on hater lol

    • 1. Rach, cuz she practically married and won’t take me seriously and start making portmanteaus
      2. Nilla, cuz she aint pick me for nothing and according to sensitive people I’m sensitive about these things and you know it takes one to know one
      3. Sham, because she’s one of the few VSS’s I know who is gainfully employed
      4. T-Lee, because I’m certain she’ll hurdle a car if she sees a ghost
      5. Agie, because she’s actually capable of playing for 8 hours because she wouldn’t stop until she won
      6. Yolie, she knows her role and plays it
      7. Nick Peters, because even if it was a bad time he’d come here and make it into the Hangover Pt IV
      8. WC, she can finally be somewhere where her opinions make sense
      9. Ibaka and Todd, because they ain’t getting no younger they minus whale do et
      10. Malik the power of teleportation because greyhounds cost money

      • miss t-lee

        You’d be correct.

  • PunchDrunkLove

    Totally digging the socks.

  • Janelle Doe

    Funeral home? I had to read that 3 times before I carried on. First time for everything tho, right?

  • nillalatte

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