saturday night, the champ was among approximately 30 or so very smart brothas and sistas (plus a token white guy, invited just in case hbo ppv required that someone with good credit co-signed the purchase of the pacquiao fight) gathered for march’s “game night”, a monthly rotating house party/excuse for pittsburgh-area professional black people to drink juice-box coronas and eat homemade meatballs while playing spades and taboo.
as you can imagine, game night is also a prime hook-up opportunity for many in attendance, as well as a great chance for those already coupled up to observe the multiple social etiquette faux pas committed by those actively looking for their next ex.
here’s a few of my favorite.
1. mr. or ms. “i haven’t figured out yet that i’m wasting my time trying to hook-up with someone who’s clearly not that interested in me”
whether its because of the alcohol or the (relatively) polite setting, there always remains a couple people so unaware of social cues that they continue with their full-court man-to-man press even though the other team is already back at the fucking hotel.
***btw, vsb’s and vss’s, if you ever think you’re in this situation, be mindful of one thing: laughter. basically, if you’re having one of those “i’m exchanging meaningless words with this person just to gauge their interest” convos and they haven’t even cracked a nervous smile or chuckled once, chances are that they probably think a wii directions manual is more interesting then you***
2. ms. “i probably should have either worn a belt or lotioned her butt crack if i planned on sitting like this all night”
a faux pas only rivaled by ms. “i have giant boobs and i’m giving all the guys too familiar hugs“ on the list of “relatively harmless things that will get a woman a seriously strong collective side-eye in a roomful of sistas”
3. mr. “i’m rocking enough unforgivable to suffocate a fuckin moose ox”
usually, this is also the same guy rocking an outfit specifically chosen to accentuate his gold bracelets, as well as the too competitive guy sweating through his shirt while playing charades
4. the “we just now realized that we’ve been talking to/sleeping with the same guy” twins
one of my favorites, along with their close cousin,
5. mr. “i should have looked at the invite list and realized that both of the chicks i’ve been sleeping with were coming so i could have stayed my ass at home“
anyway, people of vsb.com, i’m sure i’m missing a few. can you think of any other faux pas of house party hooking-up?
the floor is yours and sh*t
—the champ
Mr. Weedman or Mr. Coke Dealer shows up, not realizing this is a drug-free party.
Ms. Jailbait, trying pass for18, attends.
The probation officer for both is there, and he’s your friend. You beg him in a desperate whisper in the kitchen, not to do a bust in your house ’cause you don’t even know those ninjas, while Mr & Ms. Vegetarian complain that y’all forgot the veggies and the landlord below is thumping a broomstick on his ceiling about the music being too loud.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
“…while Mr & Ms. Vegetarian complain that y’all forgot the veggies”
Ohhhh…the food snobs. They look at you all funny and say ish like “you eat that? I don’t because.blah blah it causes diseases blah blah it’s bad for the environment blah blah children are starving everywhere blah blah blah….
@Ivyette, lol. I threw my friend a baby shower in June and only 1 person was a vege n she just ate whatever didn’t have meat. but her fat a*s niece complained about how i didn’t take everyone into consideration. wtf if your vege n you know the event is thrown by carnivores bring your own dam veggies! don’t be a pain in my rump! if there aren’t at least 4 vegetarians coming I am not going out of my way to make a dish especially for you. you better load up on spinach dip
I know that is right. I’m a Raw Food Vege n so that means I always bring baggies and my own bottle (water, green drinks etc..).
Live and let live but don’t forget your buffalo wings when you come on my side of town. LOL
@Ivyette, I’m a food snob, don’t judge me LOL and weed is legal in alot of states now for medicinal purposes of course
@OrangeStar616,
speaking as a food snob myself, i always eat before going to parties….
@ TreeTop,
Yep!!!!
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
Ms. Jailbait, trying pass for 18, attends.
I remember how hard it was for me when I was underage, and my play mate used to drag my obviously 16 year old ass to social events. Everyone there always knew that my mama was sitting on the couch waiting for me to come home.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
Mr & Ms. Vegetarian complain that y’all forgot the veggie
one of my friends is a serious vegan and sh*t, and its amazing how many times per conversation she has to let someone know that all types of meat (and seafood) are gross, even if we’re not talking about food. we could be having a convo about kill bill and she’ll still find a way to fit a “damn, how the hell do you eat shrimp? that shit looks so gross” in there
Faux Pas…
1. Ms/Mr I have to start every sentence with “we as black people” and then pontificate on how to solve every problem American blacks face (sheesh….can we just play spades and enjoy the wings?)
2. Mr/Ms I am too good for these gatherings, but I decided to bless ya’ll with my presence
You know the dude/girl who brags about all the things they could have been doing (but that event was magically canceled so they end up sitting right next to you). Their conversation usually starts with “I was supposed to be going to ____ club for _____ release party”…..(then go there ninja and quit talking to me)
3. Mr/Ms Overdressed to Kill
It’s just a smedium sized gathering of people;must you wear 11 inch stilettos that require you to take steps smaller than an oompa loompa? Dude, must you continue to wear that fedora or “stingy brim”?(lol…always wanted a reason to use that term) Caveat: this person is known to talk about “haters” and how “they” are watching
@Ivyette,
Side note/post corruption for Champ’s entry
Did anyone catch how SNL used the term “ninja” in that sketch advertising a trailer park-like outdoor concert/monster fest?
@Ivyette,
Yes. I wondered if they meant ninja like it is used here.
@Ivyette,
Did anyone catch how SNL used the term “ninja” in that sketch advertising a trailer park-like outdoor concert/monster fest?
yeah, they run that commercial/skit pretty frequently. its one of the few legitmately funny things are snl nowadays (and no, i dont think they meant to use ninjas in the substitute for niggas since, but in the lithe cats wearing all black sense)
@Ivyette,
Yeah I saw it. It was funny but at the same time I was trying to figure out the context in which they were using it.
@Ivyette,
your one, two, and three often happen to be the exact same person
@Ivyette,
Why does #2 and #3 like to show up at cookouts in someones backyard? Why do they feel it’s necessary to tell us that they had something better to do?
@Humble_One,
“Why do they feel it’s necessary to tell us that they had something better to do?”
They think people really care when we surely don’t. It’s also meant to slight whoever is around. As in, you guys aren’t really good enough for me. Insecurity is a mutha!
mr. “i act single 24/7 but im bringing my girlfriend tonight”
don’t get mad at me when i make a joke about how you tried to holla at my roommate last week! if you acted like you had a girlf, i wouldn’t have “slipped up” and made her hate you the rest of the night.
@sharde,
even worse is the mr./ms. “my significant other is here, but i’m still going to act like i’m single”
@sharde,
Notice how this same person becomes strangely quiet and places an imaginary fence around him and his lady. Like he’s scared that if they get too friendly, he’ll get busted.
’3. mr. “i’m rocking enough unforgivable to suffocate a fuckin moose ox” ‘
Hilarious post!
Mr. “Imma try to get at you even tho I just failed at getting your girl’s number”
No dice!
& Mr/Ms “Waaayyy too eager to get faded”
Never a good look.
@root,
Mr. “Imma try to get at you even tho I just failed at getting your girl’s number”
No dice!
see, i was just talking to my girl about that this weekend. even though it seems like an optimum hook-up setting, its tough for guys to navigate it sometimes because if everybody pretty much knows everybody else, if you make the mistake being interested in three women, but trying to holler at the wrong one first, you’re basically f*cked (or…not)
@root,
Mr/Ms “Waaayyy too eager to get faded”
at least 50% of our pgh game nights are made up of that guy/gal lol
#kanyeshrug
Here’s a few:
Mr./Ms. Life Isn’t All About Fun And Games – Like really? It’s a social gathering with having fun as the main theme. Save the overly-seriousness, conspiracy theories, and wet blankets.
Mr./Ms. Know It All – C’mon Son…no one wants to hear your opinion on EVERYTHING! You’re not really that deep.
Mr./Ms. I’m Too Good To Be Here – If it isn’t your type of crowd or venue, get the fugg out.
Mr. And Ms. We Brought The Arguement We Had Earlier To Share With Y’all – Keep your private issues private. No need to ruin the mood with the bickering and tension.
@Monk, “Mr. And Ms. We Brought The Argument We Had Earlier To Share With Y’all”
*dying*
Been to a few of those, the funniest (in a sad way, of course) was an outdoor cookout that led to a rolling in the grass brawl between a couple that got too drunk to swing accurately at one another.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
Dang. Why do I picture some people standing around talkin’ ’bout, “Let them fight…nobody break it up,” just to get a kick out of it?
@Monk,
“Dang. Why do I picture some people standing around talkin’ ’bout, “Let them fight…nobody break it up,” just to get a kick out of it?”
Same reason I pictured the same thing, I guess. Only I envisioned “people” to be “Babs from Making the Band”.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
I don’t know where you hang out, but I need to visit. With my video camera, lol.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
Dang. Why do I picture some people standing around talkin’ ’bout, “Let them fight…nobody break it up,” just to get a kick out of it?
I got the same picture because I have seen this myself. Everyone was instigating, and everyone wanted homie to let go, and finally checks his mouthy girl.
@Monk,
Mr. And Ms. We Brought The Arguement We Had Earlier To Share With Y’all – Keep your private issues private. No need to ruin the mood with the bickering and tension.
in my opinion, this is usually one of the most entertaining parts of the evening. its almost like you’re watching one of thse super awkward moments on “the office” right in front of you
@Monk,
Mr. And Ms. We Brought The Arguement We Had Earlier To Share With Y’all – Keep your private issues private. No need to ruin the mood with the bickering and tension.
LOL a house gathering is the perfect place for the drama to unfold — in the crowd are multiple relationship refs. the winner is picked and they get bragging rights, extra dip, and first game pick. win win win.
-Mr and or Mrs. I wanna run sh*t-Can be socially awkward and after a lil’ drank, they standing on chairs and tables trying to get everyone’s attention to listen to them and and get everybody at the party to do something that makes no sense.
-Mr. or Mrs. Way Too Thirsty-They are flirting and coming on to everything moving. Leave your partner for sec to use the restroom and they all in their face EXTRA HARD. They tend to be wayyyyy too comfortable. Curling legs and feet in another’s lap, taking shoes off when no one else, including the host has taken theirs off, Feeding people of the opposite sex, sticking their fingers in food and trying to seductively lick it off. Generally, doing the most.
@legitimate_soul, uhhhh at the super parched folk..get them a glass of water please LOL….that makes me think of Dre 3000, LOLnucca said he need a glass water to chase the hate away LLS…ahh we need another dose Dre!!!!
@legitimate_soul,
Mr and or Mrs. I wanna run sh*t-Can be socially awkward and after a lil’ drank, they standing on chairs and tables trying to get everyone’s attention to listen to them and and get everybody at the party to do something that makes no sense.
i call these cats the “whatever niggas” because after about 10 minutes of their foolishness, everybody in the room is thinking to themselves “aiight. whatever, nigga”
@The Champ,
“i call these cats the “whatever niggas” because after about 10 minutes of their foolishness, everybody in the room is thinking to themselves “aiight. whatever, nigga”
Hahaha @ Whatever, nigga!! That is too true – I’m going to use that in a sentence in the next week just cause.
@The Champ,
“i call these cats the “whatever niggas” because after about 10 minutes of their foolishness, everybody in the room is thinking to themselves “aiight. whatever, nigga””
Haha. Perfection.
@The Champ,
**i call these cats the “whatever niggas” because after about 10 minutes of their foolishness, everybody in the room is thinking to themselves “aiight. whatever, nigga**
I’m so using this!! I just know the opputunity will show itself soon.
Mr./Mrs. “I just dropped in real quick to see/do such-and-such” who ends up staying the entire time and telling this to everyone they speak to. If your ass says this and isn’t out of there in an hour, then stop frontin like you got other things to do homie, you obviously don’t.
Mr./Mrs. “I decided to come a social event yet I’m on the phone the whole time and not actually talking to anyone at said event.” You could’ve done that ish at home. I’ll be damned if you show up and eat people’s food and ish while you’re on the phone acting like nobody’s around.
@P.,
“Mr./Mrs. “I decided to come a social event yet I’m on the phone the whole time and not actually talking to anyone at said event.” You could’ve done that ish at home. I’ll be damned if you show up and eat people’s food and ish while you’re on the phone acting like nobody’s around.”
The phones and technology has really gotten things out of hand. Having text conversations, updating your facebook/twitter statuses every 5 minutes, sending pictures to said social networking sites while still there, etc. has to take away from the fun at some point. I have a hard time believing that something is so “off the chain” if you have time to do all of that.
@P.,
“Mr./Mrs. “I decided to come a social event yet I’m on the phone the whole time and not actually talking to anyone at said event.” You could’ve done that ish at home. I’ll be damned if you show up and eat people’s food and ish while you’re on the phone acting like nobody’s around.”
This is just so rude. I swear technology has folks forgetting their home training (if they had any to begin with).
Last year one of my co-worker had a dinner party for her b-day. Why did one of the girls sit at the table all night with her face glued to her iphone? Didn’t talk to anyone, barely ordered her food, the whole time she was engrossed in her phone.
@P.,
Mr./Mrs. “I decided to come a social event yet I’m on the phone the whole time and not actually talking to anyone at said event.” You could’ve done that ish at home. I’ll be damned if you show up and eat people’s food and ish while you’re on the phone acting like nobody’s around.
even worse is the socially awkward asshole who does this, but takes pics with his/her phone and posts and tags them on facebook
Ms. “I can’t stop/won’t stop bragging about how I can drink any man under the table (and outman a man in any other way, in general). But I want a man and don’t understand why I don’t have one AND I’m really bitter about it.” —This is that girl that complains when the object of her affection arrives with a feminine girl who’s bubbly and goes with the flow. She shows up to the party to drink hard liquor and brag about how nobody will ever be able to get her drunk because, apparently, she missed the memo that a) nobody is trying to, b) everybody here already knows that you can’t afford to get drunk because you drove yourself here alone. and you’ll be driving yourself home, and c) um……who else is really trying to get THAT drunk tonight? it’s thursday. you don’t deserve a cracker for that wack accomplishment.
ms. “i know you brought me along to have a good time at this party with your work/school friends, but i’m just going to be rude and make it awkward for you by dragging you to a corner and insisting we conduct a private conversation there all night about all the drama that i have caused in my own life this week. oh, wait….who is this girl trying to speak to us….let’s be really obvious and make fun of her”
@charli skipper,
All of this is gospel.
@charli skipper,
brought that second one to a gathering once. neva eva again.
@charli skipper,
your first one is exactly why we’re not inviting liz to the vsb bbq
Well the Divorced couple who showed up with their rebound mates has to be the most explosively awkward situation followed by the “Love Web”, the convoluted drug addled big sister to the Love Triangle. I went to a movie night, where everyone seemed have slept with at least two of the 15 people who were there in that crowded living room.
@Dash,
I wonder is it ever reallycool to invite a divorced couple (or long term relationship-broken up couple) to the same event knowing that this awkwardness would occur. I know that they may know the same circle of friends and after a good amount of time, both may be mature enough to handle the situation, but it still seems like it wouldn’t be a good look.
@Monk,
I used to be even more awkward when divorced parents used to show up to events related to the youth sports I coached. I eventually got chewed out because I had all of the fathers’ numbers and used to give them the correct times and dates of games and outings because their ex-wives would constantly lie to them about them and try to make them look bad when they did not show up.
@Dash,
Those ex-wives sound like they’re beyond trifling…that’s just straight up evil.
@Monk,
This behavior crosses ethnic, racial, and socioeconomic lines. It has happened everywhere that I have coached. From the mean streets of Birmingham to the roadkill strewn roads of Wakullah County, Florida. Scorned women love using their kids as weapons.
@Dash,
I went to a movie night, where everyone seemed have slept with at least two of the 15 people who were there in that crowded living room.
oh yeah, everyone has to attend at least one “damn, is there anybody here who hasn’t hooked up with someone else here?” event, just to see if you can make it out unscathed.
@The Champ,
“oh yeah, everyone has to attend at least one “damn, is there anybody here who hasn’t hooked up with someone else here?” event, just to see if you can make it out unscathed”
I’ve been in this situation too many times. It tends to happen with those people that only deal with people in their circle. I see this more with women than men in these groups. Men are usually equal opportunity. The women will only talk to you if you are friends with someone in the group they see often or you have slept with a few women in the group.
@The Champ, To make matters worse we were watching “Why Did I Get Married”, which coupled with alcohol, and the general assholishness of me and my friends, led to a bit of a dust up between a couple members of the web.
LOL! I haven’t been to a houseparty in so long. I just hate when nobody wants to dance. Everybody is standing around the wall, like it needs their body to hold it up. If they are playing music, Dance! I hate to be the only one with my date out on the floor getting our swerve on……
@QueenT, with or without date….I love to dance!
@QueenT,
I hate to be the only one with my date out on the floor getting our swerve on……
sound like you’re definitely a ms. “even though this clearly isn’t the time or place for dancing to occur, if there’s even a little backgrouund music playing i’m going to awkwardly grind with somebody”
@The Champ,
lol
Even though I love to dance, I’m definitely never the one to “start” the dancing. I make sure there are at least a few other people dancing. I’m not a “start the slow clap” kinda chick.
@The Champ,
LOL fa real. that was tt’s last summer for dr. s’s going away party. after hours, the lights went dim and the grinding music was turnt all the way up.
p.s. at what age range do your guests need to be for them NOT to think a house party means a “dance party”?? game/movie/dinner nights should not be a bootleg club scene, just a club alternative.
Mr or ms. “I don’t know when to go home”– when the hostess gies to bed it’s time to go.
Mr “Im a plus one, but I’m gonna take over the party” — once at a cookout one of our frat brothers brought another frat brother over and left him. Dude was lame and didn’t know anyone there but insisted in being the “life” of the party.
@OftenConfused,
yes! exactly.
i had a birthday party and a few of my favorite friends ended up staying after everybody left to play drinking games and cards. cool. but around 5am when they were all getting ready to go, one creepy dude who had already pushed up on me was looking like he was trying to stay and keep the party goin. um, no-sir. not cool. i ended up going to work with my best friend, just so we could all be leavin my apt. of course, that was before i grew a spine. because if that happened today, i’d just cuss his drunk ass out and shame him.
and i really hate when lame people that you don’t even know try to take over. like, why can’t you pick up on context clues!? don’t nobody like you, buh-boo!!!
@charli skipper,
exaaaaactly. This dude was suggesting lemon drop shots. WTF??? hogging the wii, he was playing so hard he broke a sweat and went in my girls linen closet and got himself a washcloth ( a NICE one!!)
THEN….ands this takes the cake…as he was leaving he asked my girl (the host) if he could have her coke reward points she was like whatever…this ninja proceeded to rip the flaps off all the 12packs (even the ones that hadn’t been opened) talking bout ” if you get enough points you can get a wii” LMBO or here’s a thought you could just by one.
And yes this dude tried to get my number….why me?
The frat brother that brought him over still owes my girl and I dinner for that one.
@OftenConfused, SMDH!!!!
@OftenConfused,
as he was leaving he asked my girl (the host) if he could have her coke reward points she was like whatever…this ninja proceeded to rip the flaps off all the 12packs (even the ones that hadn’t been opened) talking bout ” if you get enough points you can get a wii” LMBO or here’s a thought you could just by one.
LOLOL!!!
@OftenConfused,
Who are these guys. But I guess that’s why its good for me. Carry on.
Bond.
@OftenConfused,
“as he was leaving he asked my girl (the host) if he could have her coke reward points she was like whatever…this ninja proceeded to rip the flaps off all the 12packs (even the ones that hadn’t been opened) talking bout ” if you get enough points you can get a wii” LMBO or here’s a thought you could just by one. ”
BWAHAHAHA @ this foolery.
Like, I imagine dude gathering like 15,000 UPC codes, putting them in a 10-ton garbage bag and taking it to USPS talmbout, “Next Day Air, please”.
@OftenConfused,
Dead @ the popping off of the red tops….
@OftenConfused,
Mr or ms. “I don’t know when to go home”– when the hostess gies to bed it’s time to go.
Those people are the worst! C’mon… It’s 2:45am… Even the clubs are closed. Get your a$$ home. The fact that there is still food and drinks doesn’t mean the party is still going on. And no, I do not have an extra Snuggie! Please go. *smh*
@Sula,
let’s take it a step further… what if the food and drinks are gone AND the hostess has cleaned up the kitchen and set the trash out. Unless it’s a slumber party, you need to get to stepping.
@OftenConfused,
Exactly!
@OftenConfused,
I almost forgot!
Mr/Mrs. “I’m a 26 year old Neo and all I wanna do is party walk in the club/house party or talk about”
These motha-flud-puckers urk me to all get out!
and since Im on the subject
Mr./Mrs. “Well, when I pledged…”
Sheesh! We get it, you too dad-gum old to still be wearing your crossing shirt under that blouse.
No love for Mr/Mrs I’m making a to go plate before everyone has even eaten or Mr/ Mrs I’m trying to take liquour home that I didn’t initially bring……GTFOHWTBS…with you extra cheap ass
@Fonzarelli,
I know a girl who is the epitome of the first one. She makes three plates: hers, her baby daddys and her sons.
@Fonzarelli,
No love for Mr/Mrs I’m making a to go plate before everyone has even eaten .
People KILL me trying to take to go plates just because they’re leaving. And then have THE nerve to make a plate for their whole household. Ohhh I know Leroy just got off and he’s going to be hungry. He’s going to love this lasanga. And baby KiKi loves sucking on a chicken bone, so let me grab 15 of these spicy garlic wings.
@Fonzarelli, This reminds me of when my parents told me about a bbq they had and one of their neighbors was trying to take a whole slab of ribs home.
@Deeds,
lmfao @ taking a whole slab of ribs home. I mean, who are you, Fred Flinstone?
@Cheekie,
*_____________________*
*off topic, I watched the Flintsones on Telemundo yesterday. Yes, en espanol.
@Fonzarelli,
I swear I had an acquaintance of that ilk. I never invited her to anything outside of our “hanging out group”… She would embarrass the heck out of you. No home training, just none. *smdh*
@Fonzarelli,
I hear you! That’s some triflin’ ish! I have also seen that black folks do not rule the market on this. I have seen folks from other cultures do this and take leftovers immediately…especially at work festivities.
Ms. Clearly I have self-esteem and man issues so I’m going to be rude and obnoxious to anyone in the room who is a man, thus embarrassing my friend who brought me along to get me out the house b/c not many folks can tolerate my attitude
I had a friend like this. After the 1st time I peeped her behavior, I told her about herself. How she came off as rude and mean. She became real defensive saying how b/c she’s so short, people try and take advantage of her so she has to act like this *rolls eyes* The 2nd time was at a Super Bowl party at my best friends house. I felt like I had a damn child with me who couldn’t behave. Haven’t talked to her since.
@LaBakir,
Ms. Clearly I have self-esteem and man issues so I’m going to be rude and obnoxious to anyone in the room who is a man, thus embarrassing my friend who brought me along to get me out the house b/c not many folks can tolerate my attitud
also known as “the AKA”
@The Champ, LOL :p
@LaBakir,
I so feel your comment. i had to do something similar and they jumped defensive on me too. I decided to give them some space and let that go.
@legitimate_soul, Yeah, I was telling her b/c we were cool and her behavior just wasn’t becoming of her. Shortly after, she sort of stopped speaking to me and posting subliminals on Facebook *yawn* It’s whatever…she had a negative attitude and something in her life was always in shambles. I don’t need people like that around me.
No love for Mr/Mrs I’m making a to go plate before everyone has even eaten or Mr/ Mrs I’m trying to take liquour home that I didn’t initially bring……GTFOHWTBS…with yo extra cheap ass
@Fonzarelli,
“Mr/Mrs I’m making a to go plate before everyone has even eaten or Mr/ Mrs I’m trying to take liquour home that I didn’t initially bring……GTFOHWTBS…with yo extra cheap ass”
YESSS. This was gonna be my addition, but I knew someone already added it. Also an extension of that is “Mr/Ms Tuck my liquor when I finally DO buy something, but mooch off others ish when I don’t”. The f*ck??
Hilarity young and just what I need this morning, a good laugh LOL!
If you came to hate/mug/grit/tallk about etc, be intimidated by, and/or feel insecure by other women, who are moderately to super attractive, stay your ass home. Let others be great please without feeling like its taking something away from you.
There are countless stars that shine in the universe, without dimming the other. I wish more folk got this, and not just sistahs either LOL….
@OrangeStar616,
*raises amen hand*
a friend of a friend was out with me once and no joke, she started pointing to random women in the room saying how much prettier she was than them. pointing out ‘flaws’ “ugh her nose” “look at her legs.. i’m much prettier than her” and generally making a bile taste rise up in my mouth.
i just can’t. clearly someone like that is insecure. and don’t get me wrong she’s gorgeous… but if you are, then be that. you don’t have to announce how ‘superior’ you are to everyone… basically just makes you look like a donkey.
@Muze, IDK why some feel like they others can’t be beautiful also, without taking offense, quite sad actually and makes them look a lil ugly honey..I can’t hang with folk like that.. be gracious and humble,or be unbothered. no nevermind chile LOL
@OrangeStar616, I have a friend who does this on nearly every outing and I have conscientiously made an effort to invite her to less and less places because of this..like when I go out I wanna have fun and that does not include you pointing out whats wrong with everyone else in the room. It’s annoying!
@OrangeStar616,
“If you came to hate/mug/grit/tallk about etc, be intimidated by, and/or feel insecure by other women, who are moderately to super attractive, stay your ass home.”
Straight up, there are chicks who come out JUST to do this. It’s a low down dirty shame I tells ya. Like, how effed up is your life that it is on your agenda to mean mug other chicks all night? You gotta ask yoself: Why you payin’ so much attention to other chicks anyway? Just ask for their number, already!
@Cheekie, LOL, basically!!!!!
Some of these folk need to cue “Off The Wall” and follow the instructions Mike is giving ya’ll for a good time @ a party …geesh…
“When The World Is On Your Shoulder
Gotta Straighten Up Your Act And Boogie Down
If You Can’t Hang With The Feeling
Then There Ain’t No Room For You This Part Of Town
‘Cause We’re The Party People Night And Day
Livin’ Crazy That’s The Only Way
So Tonight Gotta Leave That Nine To Five Upon The Shelf
And Just Enjoy Yourself
Groove, Let The Madness In The Music Get To You
Life Ain’t So Bad At All
If You Live It Off The Wall
Life Ain’t So Bad At All (Live Life Off The Wall)
Live Your Life Off The Wall (Live It Off The Wall)
You Can Shout Out All You Want To
‘Cause There Ain’t No Sin In Folks All Getting Loud
If You Take The Chance And Do It
Then There Ain’t No One Who’s Gonna Put You Down
‘Cause We’re The Party People Night And Day
Livin’ Crazy That’s The Only Way
So Tonight Gotta Leave That Nine To Five Upon The Shelf
And Just Enjoy Yourself
C’mon And Groove, And Let The Madness In The Music Get To You
Life Ain’t So Bad At All
If You Live It Off The Wall
Life Ain’t So Bad At All (Live Life Off The Wall)
Live Your Life Off The Wall (Live It Off The Wall)
Do What You Want To Do
There Ain’t No Rules It’s Up To You (Ain’t No Rules It’s All Up To You)
It’s Time To Come Alive
And Party On Right Through The Night (All Right)
Gotta Hide Your Inhibitions
Gotta Let That Fool Loose Deep Inside Your Soul
Want To See An Exhibition
Better Do It Now Before You Get To Old
‘Cause We’re The Party People Night And Day
Livin’ Crazy That’s The Only Way
So Tonight Gotta Leave That Nine To Five
Upon The Shelf And Just
Enjoy Ourselves/Yourself C’mon And Groove (Yeah)
Let The Madness In The Music Get To You
Life Ain’t So Bad At All
If You Live It Off The Wall Life
Ain’t So Bad At All (Live Life Off The Wall)
Live Your Life Off The Wall (Live It Off The Wall)
So Tonight Gotta Leave That Nine To Five
Upon The Shelf And
Just Enjoy Yourself C’mon And Groove (Yeah)
Let The Madness In The Music Get To You
Life Ain’t So Bad At All
If You Live It Off The Wall Life
Ain’t So Bad At All (Live Life Off The Wall)
Live Your Life Off The Wall (Live It Off The Wall)”
@OrangeStar616,
why did i just sing this whole song along silently in my head? lol. bopping and ish like it came on the radio. my JAM.
RIP MJ.
@Muze, that thang crank girlly LOL..yes RIP MJ!
@Muze,
lol, same here.
It also made me imagine Friday night at the club when my cousin who is DJ spins this song every dayum time. Good stuff.
*sigh*
Already thinkin’ about Friday. #effamonday
@OrangeStar616,
One of my favorite MJ songs. When you really check out the lyrics, it was one of the realest songs he put out, too. RIP to the King. I unconsciously rocked MJ shirts all weekend, just something to wear while running errands.
@ComicBookGuy, *nods head in agreement* I LOVE that song!
@OrangeStar616, Lovely….humming along…tapping my foot…
can you think of any other faux pas of house party hooking-up?
1. Mr./Ms. I am going to get one side and make a meal of it.
Why would you fill your whole plate with one side and then go up for seconds of that same side?
2. Ms. I came here with my boyfriend and will not talk to anyone else and will literally be attached to him for the whole night.
You can always see this her becomes she will have him in some corner away from everybody else.
3. Ms/Mr I don’t know anybody here so I am going to rif/b***h/whine until we leave because I don’t want to be here even though I want to be with you and your people.
4. Mr I will holla at any chic in the place before I get a general idea of who is who.
It’s one thing to do this at a club. It’s another thing to to this at someones house where generally the people there know each other. How about you fall back and observe to get a general idea of who is together before you cause an awkward situation.
@Humble_One,
4. Mr I will holla at any chic in the place before I get a general idea of who is who.
It’s one thing to do this at a club. It’s another thing to to this at someones house where generally the people there know each other. How about you fall back and observe to get a general idea of who is together before you cause an awkward situation.
this is how ninjas get stabbed
#4 and #5 are hilarious, Champ, and I have seen those two meet up before, and it can be sad and hilariously funny at the same time.
I got one for ya:
Mr. or Ms. I don’t drink when I got out which is my way of saying that I don’t think you should and because you do and I don’t I am better than you.
Ey ninja, nobody is asking you to get faded out of your damn mind just because someone offers you 1 beer or 1 martini or 1 amaretto sour. In fact, one drink just might loosen you up and get the stick out of you ass. It’s a party and life has only one go-around. Live a little. If you get faded off of 1 drink, stay yo ass at the house.
(If you don’t drink, that’s cool. Ain’t a thing wrong with that. I am not condoning getting sh*tfaced on a recurring basis. Just don’t be an asshole about not drinking. That sh*t is annoying)
@ComicBookGuy,
Just don’t be an asshole about not drinking. That sh*t is annoying
its like these people, atheists, and vegans all went to the same school of awkward (and sometimes punch inducing) social etiquette.
@The Champ,
You ain’t never lied. Don’t get me started on home schoolers, either.
(If anyone on here was home schooled, don’t take offense to my words. Then again, if you were, you probably wouldn’t have enough social acumen to post on a blog, so f*ck it)
@ComicBookGuy,
Hey, I know great people who were home schooled!
@Sula,
They may be great people, but the question is do YOU like them? lol
@ComicBookGuy, Word…my friend is having trouble planning her high school renuion b/c ninjas are like “oh,why should i have to pay for open bar and I don’t drink”
Stay your arse home then! Open bar is included in the price of everything and at $75 per person…that’s not bad. I can’t stand when folks are all extra…expecting extra accomdations for them.
@ComicBookGuy,
“In fact, one drink just might loosen you up and get the stick out of you ass.”
*applause*
Some folks need to wake up drinking.
@miss t-lee,
*dying* @ “Some folks need to wake up drinking.”
Tabernacle.
@Cheekie,
*what’s up head nod*
@ComicBookGuy,
LOL i used to be this person when i was younger. someone would offer me a drink and i’d get all snobby like “i don’t drink. thanks. it’s bad for you.” lmbo. whew. glad we grow out of things.
years later though, it’s one of the reasons i don’t speak with a certain ninja anymore. took him to a gathering of friends and he proceeded to offend everyone there by preaching on not only how uncivilized and stupid we were for drinking, but got into an actual argument with someone because she said she didn’t drink normally, but she was sipping on a martini. “either you drink or you don’t…there’s no in-between.” he was crazy. lol.
…then again he also accused any woman with a skirt on shorter than knee length of being a wh*re, argued the validity of his ‘there is no God’ position in a room full of blackfolk, and told all the women that their man was inevitably going to cheat on them at some point. so yeah… no one was a fan of thatguy. or me for trying to acclimate his socially inept arse into a world outside of his mama’s basement and the www.
@Muze,
I am so glad you grew out of that. I got potnas from the D that I went to college with and y’all sure do know how to get down.
@ComicBookGuy,
“If you don’t drink, that’s cool. Ain’t a thing wrong with that. I am not condoning getting sh*tfaced on a recurring basis. Just don’t be an asshole about not drinking. That sh*t is annoying.”
I used to not drink either (you’d never know this from how I drink today with my “this ain’t strong enough” statements…lol). Well, I never did underage drinking (only a sip on New Years which doesn’t count…Uncle Sam said this was okay in my mind at the time) and I did feel a bit awkward around drinkers during gatherings. But I never thought it was bad for you…just somethin’ I didn’t do. Now, folks may have ASSumed that just because I didn’t drink. But I never gave off that vibe just because I said, “No, thanks, I’ont drink”. I tried to have fun without it, but trust, there is no fun like drunken fun. Here’s the formula:
Cheekie Without Drink = Fun
Cheekie With Drink = Nuts
@Cheekie,
I feel ya, Cheekie. I didn’t start drinking until I got to college and I really didn’t drink a lot until I turned 22 because I could actually afford it then. I wasn’t one of those guys trying to find the closest party with alcohol. Talking to women was hard enough sober. I realized that I had inherited my father’s iron laced stomach and I started drinking like a fish. I was the smallest dude weight-wise among my friends and yet I was the least likely to get drunk after drinking all of them under the table parties. Ahhh…. college days swiftly pass.
Now, after driving in Houston a daily basis, I have a nightcap so I don’t go to bed with homicidal tendencies.
@ComicBookGuy,
“Now, after driving in Houston a daily basis, I have a nightcap so I don’t go to bed with homicidal tendencies.”
Oh man. That H-Town traffic will drive someone to drink…Lawd.
@ComicBookGuy,
“I realized that I had inherited my father’s iron laced stomach and I started drinking like a fish.”
I also got what some call a “goat throat” (o____O) from my father. That mofo could DRANK. His “ability” to drank actually broke up his and my mama’s marriage.
@ComicBookGuy,
Now, after driving in Houston a daily basis, I have a nightcap so I don’t go to bed with homicidal tendencies.
Hear, hear! Give this man a drink because he is preaching the gospel!
*meanwhile, maybe we should do our own Texas VSB happy hour, because if we’re waiting on that BBQ, we will be here for a minute!… Miss t-lee still owes me a hangout.
*
@Sula,
I agree.
I will be there towards the end of the month for my BFF’s baby shower, but I am redic booked. I’m sure I’ll be back before summer though…I’m down, if ya’ll are down!
@ComicBookGuy,
…imbued with mem’ries fond…
You and I have similar stories CBG. Never drank in high school, or even much in college. But I feel in love with Captain Morgan’s Private Stock, and I enjoy getting sloshed with the best of them now.
Oh, and CBG, I take it we’re ice cold?
@Been Had Blog Posts,
Yes indeed, brethren, even though it’s starting to get hot in Texas again. I have been known to partake in broiled lamb chops with peas in tub.
Right now, I kinda stick to the drinks that make me happy and I don’t journey to far outside of that: Newcastle Ale, Ketel One, Ciroc, Tangueray, Bacardi (any shade), Cuervo and Mr. Daniel.
Oh yeah, Patron is the devil incarnated as liquor and I don’t who argues with me about it.
@ComicBookGuy,
…the recollection slowly fades away.
I’m still holding on to my non-drinker status, but remain open to the concept.
@Sula,
You just had to call me out on the BBQ. lol
You missed the crab boil I did yesterday. Kroger had crab legs on sale for a stupid price and I went stupid myself and bought like 4 bags of them. I had to call my mom to tell her to tell me to stop because I was about to fill my basket with nothing but crab legs.
@Cheekie, I too was a late drinker. I wasn’t into that 2520 ish…getting wasted at like 14. I had my 1st drink at 18 and didn’t drink again until I was legal.
I possess a pretty high drinking tolerance. But folks piss me off just b/c I’m not drinking what they’re drinking or I’m not up for getting drunk that night. “oh, your a light weight”…no I’m not…I’m just not in the mood for drinking or I’m driving so I’m keeping it light.
@LaBakir,
“I possess a pretty high drinking tolerance. But folks piss me off just b/c I’m not drinking what they’re drinking or I’m not up for getting drunk that night. “oh, your a light weight”…no I’m not…I’m just not in the mood for drinking or I’m driving so I’m keeping it light.”
Okay, are you me? Because this is me. lol
I get “what, you scared?” if I turn down a drink I’m not into. Naw, I just don’t like the dayum drink. Begone.
@LaBakir,
I feel ya. I drink light when I know I am driving but my “drinking light” will put some folks on their @$$.
@Cheekie, LOL! I’m your drinking doppleganger :p
2 weeks ago my boy was getting wasted off of Henny. We went out to eat, and I was driving so I had 2 Margaritas. We get back to my house and he shares some of the Henny w/ my roomie. He proceeds to say how I’m not “really” drinking..and she calls me a light weight
*dry face*
I wanted to be like “how about both of yous stfu and mind your damn business’
I have nothing to offer but I did go to a birthday party once where the b-day girl had slept/hooked up with every guy at the dinner party including the one she was currently dating. I think 2 pairs of the men were also somehow related.
Mr/Ms “I like to get wayyy to comfortable in people’s space when I don’t even know yall like that”….Why would mofo’s take it upon themselves to upon up someones fridge and rifle through there like they on a dayum scavenger hunt? Everything you need is on the counter/stove/cooler/tables, so stop being nosey. And get you big ass up stretched out on my furniture like you making my payments to Ashley furniture…
Ms”I’m gone critique all the food and talk about how it could have been better, even though I ain’t bring shit but sum raggedy as store brand sodas”
Mr. & Ms. “Let’s try to sneak off and get our freak on in the bathroom/laundryroom/bedroom/etc”….soooo disrespectful. if yall need to get ya rocks off that bad, take that shit out to the car somewheres
@I’llgiveitatry, these are great ones
@I’llgiveitatry,
Your first one almost made me throat punch a girl. I’m a lady and I like men. Some chick lounging and luxuriating her lean on me had me ready to choke her out. WTF? You gone stretch your legs and just lay your legs over mine? Bish, you crazy?
Oh,and how could I forget Mr/Ms “I like to share to much info in a conversation and make shit hella awkward as you try to get away from me”…thats nice that you just got over your recent bout of chlamydia and the judge had to drop the charges because they didn’t read you your Miranda rights, but thats wayyy to much info within the first 5 mins of us meeting…
@I’llgiveitatry,
LMAOOOO!
omg i thought i was the only one who knew someone like this. like why do i need to know about your multiple suicide attempts and depression pills as i’m shaking your hand? all i said was “nice to meet you, i’m Muze.” damn. lol
@I’llgiveitatry,
“Mr/Ms “I like to share to much info in a conversation and make shit hella awkward as you try to get away from me”…”
As a certified bomb-a*s listener, I am often the victim of this creature. Then they always end the awkward TMI-induced convo with “You are SUCH a good listener”. I just nod accordingly. FML.
@Cheekie,
i fall victim to them too!!!!!!!!!! luckily my girls are great at reading low key bat signals so they can come in and swoop me out of the TMI-douchebag’s grasp
@Cheekie,
You really gotta work on “mid-sentence walk away” skills girl.
I can help you out!
“i’m not a nice person”~dark man x
@miss t-lee,
“i’m not a nice person”~dark man x
Speaking of Dark Man X, I was cleaning my house last weekend and had my Ipod attached to my surround system and “Get at me Dog” came on. I about lost my mind because it has been forever since I have heard that song. That is one hell of a first single.
@ComicBookGuy ,
LOL!!! That cd never leaves my car!
*arf, arf*
@miss t-lee, “protected by Viper, stand back” LOL
@miss t-lee,
“You really gotta work on “mid-sentence walk away” skills girl.
I can help you out! ”
I would gladly take this class. lol
Dearest Champster,
“3. mr. “i’m rocking enough unforgivable to suffocate a fuckin moose ox” ‘”
You, almost — ALMOST — made me look like a dayum fool on the train commute to work this morning. I was just barely able to conceal a loud guffaw from reading this statement. I hatechu. Good day.
Mr. or Ms. “I act like I ain’t never had free liquor. So, I drank too much and now, I’m the drunk idiot at the party.”
You know, the dudes who fall into the coffee table and break it or piss in your favorite fake plant or the chick who is passed out in hallway closet or the one who threw up in your driveway.
@SexyCool,
Oh…and I’m on Twitter – @SexyCool13 in case anybody cares…and sht…
@SexyCool,
that guy happened when i hosted game night. its can be such great entertainment and such great travesty all at the same time. makes for great memories tho!
LMAO @ this entire post!!!!!
omg game night was so fun. def the best one we’ve had in awhile. we gotta have them more often– its fun to see faux pas fails that are almost as bad as the champ’s spades game. FUN TIMES FOR EVERYONE!!!
whoop whoop happy monday vspeeps
@Gem of the Ocean,
What up, Gem?
@ComicBookGuy,
heyyyyyyyyyy nice guy w/ glasses. how you doin?! *the wendy way*
@Gem of the Ocean,
*blushes* I’m good. Been wanting to fall asleep all morning after sleeping for 9 hours last night. I’m with Cheekie, #effamonday. But at least it is warm here in Houston.
@ComicBookGuy, yeah, at least it’s warm. most of NJ is flooded something terrible and it’s kinda cold out
@LaBakir,
The problem is, now that it is warm and not humid, and windy, it is pollen everywhere. I swear, when I leave work, my black car is going to damn near look like a school bus and when I touch it, I will be sneezing all night. Springtime in this state sucks.
@ComicBookGuy, LMAO…aww, yeah that does suck. We dont’ want you riding in the short bus
2. ms. “i probably should have either worn a belt or lotioned her butt crack if i planned on sitting like this all night”
Did somebody really have their @ss showing and it was ashy? Was her pants or @ss to big?
a faux pas only rivaled by ms. “i have giant boobs and i’m giving all the guys too familiar hugs“ on the list of “relatively harmless things that will get a woman a seriously strong collective side-eye in a roomful of sistas”
Why does this woman never give me a “too familiar hug” ? I get the long distance hug.
@Humble_One, Some people feel they dont’ have to lotion certain parts of their body…or perhaps her 24 moisturizing lotion tapped out on her
@LaBakir,
So it’s like having your calves moisturized and your knees and thighs are ashy. So since ole girl had on pants she felt she could be ashy all over.
@Humble_One, Pretty much. She probably figured no one would see her butt so she didn’t have to lotion it. But she should’ve been more aware of the plumber’s butt.
@Humble_One,
bwahahaa. people really do that? wow.
that’s just as bad as painting the only two toes that will be peeping out of your peep-toe shoes.
@LaBakir,
This reminds me of a girl that I knew that always had her ashy heels showing. To this day I haven’t seen a woman with heels that rough. You could strike a match on her heels.
@Humble_One, LMAO! She had those chalk white joints?
@Humble_One,
My homeboy used to say “ashy means you clean”…shouldn’t it count for something? *shrug*
On the a*s showing though, don’t you feel the breeze?
Mr./Mrs. “I just started working out again, so I’m going to mention it every five minutes during our conversation and ask you which type of workout plan you are on and make suggestions”
Mr. “I just got another degree so it’s hard for me to find women on my level which is why i enjoy events like this…but I’m going to wait for one of you to talk to me first because I’m a hot commodity now”
Mr/Mrs ” I talk a lot of trash about how good I am at spades but I always seem to overestimate that ‘possible’, play out of turn, forget which suit led, or re-nig (da hell?! who still re-nigs and gets caught??).”
Mr/Mrs “I love playing taboo…to the point where I dispute EVERY single play and take all of the fun out of the game and no one wants to play anymore”
Mr and Ms. Friend Stealers….You are barely friends with the host of the party…and the only reason you got an invitation was becuz it was beginning to look a bit too obvious that EVERYONE was invited except for you…So why are you spending time at the partying trying to take numbers, email addresses, twitter accounts and instantly facebooking people in hopes that you can organize this same group of people again for your own get together… Make your own FRIENDS!!!.
I almost forgot
Mr/Mrs “I’m 30 and I just crossed grad chapter, so I’m going to wear my letters at all social events (including my jacket) and I’m going to throw up my frat/sorority sign in Every.Single.Picture. Furthermore, I’m going to invite you step shows and greek parties and make frequent references to my “front” and my “back”…even though no one in this room has never met them”.
@StrawberryPoptarts,
UUUGGH!!! Old Neos kill me!
D.O.A. I saw two lames at a club on a regular Saturday nighta few weeks ago..Best friends, 32 yrs old.. just crossed Kappa and Sigma.. WITH THEIR CROSSING JACKETS ON. #Fail.
LMAO!! I was actually at a party with MR. “If I knew I was going to be sitting like this I should’ve lotioned up my ass and ankles”. Nothing turns my appetite like being at a party with a nigga with low cut skinny jeans with a rusty ass…ass and ankles that looked like he kicks flower for a living.
@Brettandthecity, LLS!!!!
Mr. or Ms. I just found religion and I must spread the gospel between games of Taboo, Jenga, or Spades… Dude we all have our own individual walk, we’re here to have fun.
What about Mr. /Mrs. my breath STANKS but I can’t take a hint? Woo lawd, too many times have I ran into those! By the way, how do you subtly give the hint about their gutter-rot mouf decay without hurting their feelings? I give the hint, but after they don’t get it, the whole thing becomes a “no holds barred” situation. Yep, I’m COMPLETELY tactless in confrontational situations.
What about “Ms. Self-Conscious b/c I Brought My Non-Black BF to the Party but Nobody Really Cares”? I know I do that sometimes. I’ll bring my Latino bf to a “Black” event and be feeling all paranoid, like, “Is he going to say something to embarrass me?!” And yes, he sometimes does. But in my embarrassment, I usually realize that, yes, I am the only one who cares that I brought my Latin lover to the party.
How about Mr./Ms In a Complicated Non-Relationship Kinda Association Thingie?
You know the couple that is supposedly on a “break” but still kick it and occasionally sleep together? The couple that wants room to roam but doesn’t want the other partner to do the same? So they show up at the same party and neither can make a move or have any fun. They make the vibe so uneasy nobody wants to talk to them for fear of a knife fight breaking out.They are holding up opposite corners of the room trying to pretend they don’t see and don’t care about the other and then end up leaving together for a booty call anyway!
Mr./Ms. I’m Full of It. You know the one that talks so much junk you quit listening after they said hello.
Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com
Pingback: the five most underrated things about dating a sista — Very Smart Brothas
Sorry that I don’t have time to read the gazillion comments that your popularity engenders so please forgive me if I’m repeating some already-been-said. ‘-)
The friend(s) with the stank a$$ feet who always want to take their shoes off…
The chick who always forgets her feminine hygiene products and word has gotten around…
The folk who always stay til the end so they can help clean up. And take home plates of leftovers…