Over the course of every relationship, there are a bunch of different levels you reach. There’s the first kiss, the first time you see each other naked, the first time you meet the parents, etc. Relationships are one big ass video game where you keep trying to beat levels to get the ultimate prize.
I’m not actually sure what the ultimate prize is but we’re all socialized to believe that there is one after you get married so let’s just assume that actually happens. Mmkay?
Mmkay.
Now most of those levels are attained together and even without a verbal confirmation, both parties generally understand that you’ve just beat the last villain and have moved up a difficulty.
However, there is one level that isn’t achieved together in a traditional sense. It’s one that calls into question exactly how two individuals might view one another.
It’s all about that real (hip-hop).
Follow me now.
Say the two of you (man and woman) are sitting on the couch watching television. You’re playing those funny little cutesy games where you pretend you’re wrestling for wrestling sake but its really all just foreplay. You both are drinking beers and eating chips and watching Ocean’s 13 when she looks right into your eyes, then looks at the television, lifts her left leg and poots like its nobody’s business. In fact, forget the euphemistic term “poot”…she straight up farts. Loudy. Manly.
And it ain’t a silent-but-deadly here. Nope. This one packs a punch.
People, the dog leaves the room.
As a human, we all understand that men and women both get a little gassy and have to release the hounds on occasion. But honestly, some men just aren’t ready to handle it. And similarly, some women are never ready to let a man know they actually renegade the twalet.
Most women want men to think that they sh*t flowers and poot daffodils and have cutesy, tiny burps. And most men are happy with women letting them think this. There are those women who come at you off top with this whole, “I’m a real person” mantra who will burp in front of you and pass BP and stuff. Thing is, I know some guys who “appreciate” that…to a certain point. At the point where you’re having impromptu undesired competitive burping contests, it might start to get a little annoying.
This is that interesting level where things get sticky. Men, we like to think of our women’s icky bathroom activities kind of like graffiti-esque stretchmarks and Monica Lewinsky’s dirty dress – we know it exists, but we’d just prefer to never see it and pretend it didn’t. At the point where you introduce the funk to the P, I have to determine just how comfortable I am with my “lady” being less “ladylike”. For me, it’s not that big a deal, but then again, I’ve never actually dated a chick who’d try to pull a Dutch Oven on me. And really, I’m not sure how I’d handle it. But I do know some dudes who would let a chick go who was too free with herself and her not-solid-not-liquid emissions.
I did date one chick who let one rip so effervescently that I still remember it to this day. And she was sleep and it kcuffed up my WHOLE day. I just wasn’t ready. We got over it…mostly because it woke her up out of her sleep and she had to leave the room too. She was embarrassed and I couldn’t stop talking about it. Just a bad combination.
But still, I remember it to this day.
So anyway, good people of VSB.com, at what point do you women feel its okay to just be free like Deniece Williams? To my brohams, do you prefer a woman who seems too dainty and sh*t to let it rip? Or do you want “such a f*cking lady?” who’s motto is “better out than in!”
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
i think it is equally unattractive for men to fart/belch/what have you as it is for women
i dont think there is a specific time in a relationship where it becomes “acceptable” to just let one rip in the middle of the living room. if you can lift your leg to let it out you can walk to the other room.
For some weird reason it’s like a man’s right to do so.
See, that’s the thing. I have to have that “homie lover friend” type vibe with you before you release the hounds out the gate. I can’t be going gaga over your babydollness and you drop that bass on me. It kinda fucks up the sweet, innocent, sexy thoughts…cause the smell is on that …you have to let it linger. do you have to, do you have to? no matter, it does.
Now, one lady I was dating would faht, as I call it, whenever she laughed hard. THEN she would laugh harder. I swear, those times were cute and fun…another chick I dated would fart and keep walking like it didn’t happen…as the paint ran down the wall bedhind her. I say, poots are good until I see the bits, once I see the bits, you can start farting…WE can start farting. At least then we know if it’s worth braving the green fog to get a kiss, or just float…float on.
“Now, one lady I was dating would faht, as I call it, whenever she laughed hard. THEN she would laugh harder. I swear, those times were cute and fun…”
This is totally acceptable. It’s an uncontrollable, natural reaction at this point and it can add to the humor if you’re already laughing hysterically.
*wait for bias comment with disclaimer*
I Do This…time to time. But then again, I’m a man.
““Now, one lady I was dating would faht, as I call it, whenever she laughed hard. THEN she would laugh harder. I swear, those times were cute and fun…””
you had me at “faht”
That’s why I always tried to avoid being tickled. It tends to push the button. TMI
tickle tickle Raq the fart monster…
“release the hounds out the gate”
Never heard this term before, but it’s hilarious!
ThicFlair, love the Cranberries and The Floaters references
ForReal? ahem, THANK’ YA kindly.
love the name
woooooooooooooo!
To be the man, you gotta beat the man!!!
Woooooo!!!
Stylin and Profilin
Woooooooooo!
LOL. Yall Killin me with the Ric Flair comments.
“Wooooooo To be the man you gotta to beat THE MAN Woooooooo!”
“Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!”
you flair fans are warming my heart. I’m going back to space mountain.
by the way, I meant RIC not THIC…
I can’t be going gaga over your babydollness and you drop that bass on me. It kinda fucks up the sweet, innocent, sexy thoughts…
ahhhhhhhhhh…not drop the BASS!!! too through…
Damn … the dog left the room though ?!?!
I say she should be comfortable, but it needs to be silent and deadly. I don’t need you letting your insides rot because of some mental image you want to keep “unblemished” in my head, but if you make no attempt to hide the noise and actually cock up your leg … well … you might get pushed off the couch.
I think after it occurs during sex, it’s pretty much fair game anytime else.
That and when she does it forgetting you’re there and you finish laughing, not at the fart, but at how embarrassed she’s acting because you realized that it was no real big deal after all.
“I think after it occurs during sex, it’s pretty much fair game anytime else.”
Exactly what female body part are you referring to? Just asking…
A queef. ooooh.
i tend to laugh at that point and just keep going.. but for some reasons those dont come out until its getting really good…
This is true.
True dat…
“A queef. ooooh.”
first t-shirt quote of the day
AH!!!! I finally got a t-shirt. (sniff)
“Queef” always makes me giggle.
I think after it occurs during sex, it’s pretty much fair game anytime else.
@kamakula…
first off I am JUST realizing that your name is a play on dracula…I feel so “short bus” for that…lol…
secondly…queefing and butt thunder arr two completley different things…no?
“secondly…queefing and butt thunder arr two completley different things…no?”
LMAO Butt thunder is only okay if you are sick, really sick.
Queefing…totally okay. What goes in must come out. It’s part of good sex.
I’ve never actually seen “queef” written out. Its funnier and funnier everytime I read it..
“I’ve never actually seen “queef” written out. Its funnier and funnier everytime I read it..”
queef is the gift that keeps on giving
lol, sorry to disappoint, but it’s not a play on dracula. You were never on the short bus
And actually, I was talking about the thunder
good to know…well then spell it out phonetically for a sister…cuz in my head I thinking.. kuh-mack-yoo-lah
butt THUNDER, hot damn. Well as long as there is no lightening, you are good right? I mean, we DEF’ don’t want no showers….*shudders*
I think it all depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s cool, sometimes it isn’t. Accident….ok, full on blast and laugh…….not. Farting for amusement is a very manly thing, example, at the club me and a couple other bouncers have a little game we play. We walk up to each other and simply say “You don’t smell nothing?” which lets the other one know we have just farted and they should move before someone blames them. Or we purposely lay a cloud of funk and then move and watch people walk into it. If women started this behavior it would be very disturbing. Not that it’s not disturbing for us to do it but you get the point. Bottom line is I don’t want to smell hers but I will make her smell mine with pride! It’s a double standard I am happy to uphold……because i’m nasty.
The code lingo is always a plus. There have been times when I’ve approached someone after letting one go and I kindly changed their direction on some, “hey, let’s walk this way…you don’t wanna go THAT way.” lol.
I did that to my homegirl one time. She didn’t follow my instructions and she was pizzed…lol
She just wasn’t picking up what you were putting down.
Haha!!! Yes ma’am.
“Or we purposely lay a cloud of funk and then move and watch people walk into it. ”
…So… Not… Right.
LOL!
“Farting for amusement is a very manly thing”
That’s one of those double standards that just is. And one along with many others that I don’t care to compete for.
this is a close cousin of the “silent fart in packed elevator” game, which my dad and i still play to this day.
my dad is 61, btw
I think after it occurs during sex, it’s pretty much fair game anytime else.
@Buck…that is just mean…man gas is a beast…that is a game I don’t want to play…EVER…lol…that double standard can remain in tact! fo’true!
my bad the “copy and paste” acted up…lol… it was supposed to have this exerpt…
“we purposely lay a cloud of funk and then move and watch people walk into it.”
I have always been told that it was unladylike to fart or burp. But I can control my burping. Farting is something else. I wouldnt dare cock my leg up. Holding it in isnt an option. Acid reflux is REAL. I have had it and if u would rather hold it in to impress a man and have a trapped gas that feels like u are having a heart attack……..do u. I would rather get up and walk outside. But men are we supposed to sit and endure your funk or will u dismiss yourselves…
i do have a funny story. I was on the phone with this guy I was dating but I had on my earpiece and you know that a earpiece can pick up a pen dropping on carpet. But we are talking and I let one rip (long) and he is like did u just fart. I was like No that must have been the T.V. WThay…….u heard that. I laughed silently.
acid reflux makes you fart? for me, it just gives me really bad heartburn.
***btw, this comment is todays first nominee for the daily “comment that probably should have been a private text message” award***
LOL!
and i would accept the award. I thought we were here to keep it real so I will refrain and keep comments to myself. WOW thanks
@ utc115
you have me rolling over here…lol
I have to agree, I too was taught that ladylike behavior doesn’t include releasing toxic waste out loud. Ditto…raising up her leg to release is way too far. I mean really! Be classy and hold it in until you can make a break for the nearest restroom or open air space. Then let go and be free.
I also don’t think that men should go blurt their toxicness out either. My last BF did that once while we we’re sleeping. I leaned over to cuddle and got a stankbomb. OMG!! It was the most horrible smelling cloud of funk!!! I made him get up immediately and spray, open windows, prepare to evacuate, etc. I’m saying guys, show the same respect that you want from a lady.
evacuate……………………thats bad.
“Be classy…”
The worst however most humorous times were when we would be at a hotel and I would go into the bathroom and turn on the water in the sink and shower while flushing the toilet at the same time if I felt I had one with a voice coming.
Sometimes he would call me out on it. But I always denied.
ahhh the courtesy flush…what about when it’s more than a fart? when you gotta “chunk the deauce” as it were?
I have always had two bathrooms in my domiciles…one is for #1 and one is for #2…back when I had weekend cum-pany I just made the designation clear and we were golden…lol…
How you gonna house break the company lol
just like I do…well…did…and they did as instructed in an effort to remain cum-pany…that weren’t no typo…lol
bwaaahahahaa that’s some serious hahhaha tooo funny though
Too funny
@ utc115
That was the funniest thing Ive read on this page!
And I have to agree, throwing a leg up and letting go something that scares the dog isn’t kosher. Take it elsewhere with an open space and circulating air.
Burping is kinda different. I wouldn’t let let a big one out in a fancy restaurant but in a extremely casual situation like “Thirsty Thursdays” at the ballpark out here with 1$ beers on tap, expect a burp from me, but you know a cute one.
…with an “excuse me” because I’m a friggin’ lady here!
“…expect a burp from me, but you know a cute one.”
what exactly is a cute burp?
I guess one that doesn’t make her epiglottis do the harlem shake.
Cheryl, thank you for bringing the word “epiglottis” into my vocab. I owe you. lol
One you wont hear across the ballpark.
I could never compete in purping contests
Ok check the scenerio…
Ladies, you have just finished a fabulous meal at your local mexican resturant and ur now at your boyfriends place..chilling on the couch watching TV. About 15 mins into the show you get the bubble guts and realize that a refried/black
black bean burrito was a bad idea.
Do you..
A. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, pray he has air freshener and toilet paper in there..
B. Say screw it…time he saw the “real me”
C. Say..”Dang i gotta get up early” and bounce out to ur crib n let it rip in the car on the way home.
I would go with C.. cuz i just dont feel comfortable doin the “do” in front of a guy..i dont care who he is.. And holding it in just causes undue pain and anguish later..lol
Aja, you wouldn’t do the do in front of a man you’ve been in a long term relationship with? I can probably understand if you’ve just started dating, but dang, when is it ok? Marriage?
I am marriage and I still lock the door and burn a match or something. Even when I am home alone.
Forget air freshener, matches are the truth! No bathroom should be without them.
I never understood this…to me it just smells like burned ish…
Call me crazy… lol
Matches do not cover up funk. I’m not sure why people ever thought they did. You walk into the person’s house/bathroom and smell matches…you know and still smell that they just took a dump.
@Queen – NOT TRUE. The sulfur in the matches cancels out the scent of sh*t. lol
Google It
but then it smells like sulfur, which stinks on its own
@monk…when I was married…there was always more than one bathroom…there is always incense and lighters in my bathrooms…and I expect everyone to use them…
I don’t want to smell my own ish, why should you?…(I eat alot of veggies…LOL)
i wouldnt even if i was married to him…im funny like that..ill hold it til i go to the bathroom and let it rip..lol
And the best way to get rid of poo poo funk is right after it plops u flush..the suction will suck up some of the smell..lol i know its gross but it works.. so get ta flushin!! lol
A. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, pray he has air freshener and toilet paper in there..
I’ve done it before…lol
That’s why when dating I would watch what I eat.
I’d say (A.) of course! Why suffer all the way home when their is a toilet near by??? That makes no sense.
Depending on how long we’ve known each other…I’m gonna go with C, unless it’s an absolute emergency.
Yo Roy Wood Jr. had a guest one time @ his house and he wrote a blog about it. LSS he exated his revenge @ her hous on Thanks giving w/ family present. I guess it didn’t help her case that they were just friends.
Option D: make sure the conversation lasts long enough to use the bathroom at the restaraunt. Always carry some perfum or spray on yourself to clear the air afterward.
I never understood people that couldnt N0 2. in a public place. I’m pretty regular 3-4 times a day and sometimes when nature calls I am not at home. (maybe that shouldve been a private IM I send to the Champ, but he aint on right now so oh well)
YOU BOO-BOO FOUR TIMES A DAY????
at least 3
my doctor said its normal. I have always been like that.
Done hate me cause I have a healthy colon
Are you vegan? You did see what they wrote about teh vegan poo, no?
nope not vegan and yes I did see what they wrote.
She’s not alone…I go at least 2 or 3 times…
It’s very normal.
I’m far from a vegan…btw.
I am joining in the TMI and yes I do the do at least 3 times a day…
And no, I’m not vegan… I just shop at the Farmer’s Market…
WOWWW!! 4 times a day?? i heard it was healthy but wow. I need to get on my game then lol
I burp. (followed by an excuse me)That’s just me… now passing gas is a completely different thing. I just leave the room… no need for my man to know what my insides smell like.
“I just leave the room… no need for my man to know what my insides smell like.”
wasn’t “i wonder what them insides smell like” one of the more regular vids on bet uncut?
nah…it was by a group called “Black Jesus” of all things and it was called “tell me what that thang smell like” or something….I remember because I was TOO THROUGH… I thought of the same song (if you can calll it that) when I read her comment too…CHAMP…get out of my head!
I actually remember that.
Too sad.
::shaking my head::
“Im tryna kick it toniiiiiiiiiiiitttee….
so baby tell me what that THHHHAAAAAANNGGG smell liiiikke….”
That and “I aint got no panties on, on the dance floor” were the best on uncut.
““Im tryna kick it toniiiiiiiiiiiitttee….
so baby tell me what that THHHHAAAAAANNGGG smell liiiikke….””
can you imagine someone in the studio trying to record that hook, but having to stop every 15 seconds because he was laughing hysterically?
I’m suprised that record got made…
Or even worse… can you imagine someone recording it in the studio and actually VIBING to it, talm bout “This song is HOTTT!” *
Unfortunately, BET UnCut was my background noise when going to sleep my entire freshman year in college. I know ALL them songs. *Hangs head in shame*
with me, i have always wanted a woman to be real with me!!! and this includes everything!! i don’t care if she has to fart, sh!t, etc., i just want her to be real and to be comfortable around me!!! it seems as if we put on fronts about who we really are, what we really want and what we are really doing!! i don’t mind, it actually shows that you are human and that you aren’t going to neglect your health just to make me see that you are dainty, priss and proper!! i had one girlfriend who would run all the way downstairs to use the bathroom instead of using the one in the bedroom!! if she knew tha it was going to stink badly, she knew that there was air freshener on the counter near the sink!!! i feel that it is about being open and honest in situations!! it lets people know that no one is perfect yet, imperfect in their perfect little way!! i want my imperfect woman, flaws and all!!! just let me know what i am dealing with so that i can let my guard down as well!!!
::extends hand::
Well hello, Don Giovanni…
howdy!!
*clapping hands*
Finally… A REAL MAN commenting on this issue! lol (j/k)
Giovanni… WELCOME!!!!
hi there!! not new, but been missing in action for a few post!! but thanks for welcoming me in with open arms!!
If only there were about a million more of guys like you, Don…:)
there are plenty of guys out there that feel the same way, but we don’t usually go around and advertise that we want you to do it!! it’s just if you have to, go ahead and let it rip!! i’ll understand!! just give me a heads up!!
What’s the proper “heads up”?
you can just say excuse me for a sec and walk off for a sec, or just give any type of warning!!
Good relationship is based on destiny and your ways to treat people who are around you,recently I make a lot of chubby friends on ***seekingbbw.com***they are all handsome sexy and hot men and women.we become close friends very quickly.so,treat every person sincerely,you will find your soul mate and bosom friend.
LOL@ the multitude of variations for the word gas.
” To my brohams, do you prefer a woman who seems too dainty and sh*t to let it rip? Or do you want “such a f*cking lady?” who’s motto is “better out than in!””
Thanks for asking these questions. I’ve wondered about this… I know that I would burp when comfortable but I have never emitted gas in any other form around a SO (& I don’t think that I will intentionally do so either.)
no, on this one i can’t even hang – the traditionalist in me rears her prissy head… i will exit the room if i feel it building up, and go to the bathroom till it’s over. (fortunately, i feel them building up) I even gave up vegetarianism coz it made me SO GASSY – them beans, people!
was o so happy to discover that yoga virtually eliminates any gassiness – i’m SUCH a convert! this is one shame i could not live down – so i’ll continue to stretch it out in yoga…
i have trouble burping, so no worries on that front…
“I even gave up vegetarianism coz it made me SO GASSY – them beans, people!”
man…vegans are typically the worst smelling creatures on the planet. seriously, vegan farts have the potential to kill birds, plants, infants, ideas, anything.
“man…vegans are typically the worst smelling creatures on the planet. seriously, vegan farts have the potential to kill birds, plants, infants, ideas, anything.”
Mental notes to stay away from vegans.
copy that for me too!!
vegan farts have the potential to kill birds, plants, infants, ideas, anything.
that made me laugh so hard I pooted…
I realized I haven’t told you I loved you since I been on vacation.
I love you.
“that made me laugh so hard I pooted…”
LMAO
GOODEness is soooo damn IGNANT!! I LOVE U!!
LOL *cryin*
I don’t want anybody farting around me without proper courtesy (i.e advance warning if too inconvienent to take somewhere else, let ur window down, etc.) jokes is jokes sometimes but if this is common behavior to fart openly on the reg. then fuc* u, I’m creating farts a biodisposable waste team couldn’t handle and trapping u under the covers with it until u understand common courtesy. Breath trick. Drink it, drink it, swallow. That’s it, drink it all. Mmmm good. Lock u in the bathroom after making some good terds. Drown u in stench. Know when to stop playin cause ur not willing to take of to the levels of chem warfare that I will. Now call my bluff.
Molotov cocktails, let the airplanes circle overhead, 21 gun salute, vive le vsb, cheers all around, salute! (on the blog nods/noms) promote urselves!
LMBO Panama.
I have been with my husband for 7-1/2 years and I still don’t live that free around him. I don’t live that free around anyone. I find myself saying “excuse me” when there is no one else not only in the room, but in the entire house. Nature does what it does but I don’t just let on rip all willy nilly in the presence of my marido.
I lock the door to the toilet area and use half a can of air freshener still. But the man oh no. I have to inhale his toxic clouds of stench on any given day. The funny thing is you kinda become immune to it. Just a little. And let’s not even get into the undercover launchers.
I do remember the first time I had one to sneak out. To lessen my embarrassment he joked as if he did it and never look my way.
I am also totally against using the toilet while someone else is present therefore our new renovated master suite was built with a private toilet area. But that only matters to me because again on any given day I will walk in the bathroom to find the private door wide open and a naked marido planted on the porcelain throne reading the Sunday funnies.
I really doubt if he would find it cute should he find me in that same manner.
LMAO!
My BF has a habit of walking in while I’m on the thrown (sp?). I usually tell him to leave because if I haven’t already started peeing, it won’t come with someone else standing there. However, if I’m in the middle of letting loose… brotha better just know to leave right back out or suffer the scented consequences.
You can’t go when people watch?! I really thaught that was a guy thing.
Yeah man… if he comes in BEFORE I start peeing — I can’t pee (no matter how badly I need too). So I’ll tell him to leave for a second… as soon as he walks out I can pee. If he comes in after I’ve started to pee already, I’m good. I can keep peeing or pooping.
So… nope men are not the only ones. lol
Alright when man bathroom laws have been broken or have to be broken (too packed to go one stall away). I concentrate on the tiles in front of me.
I actually lock the door to go even when I’m alone in the house.
Mine has stage freight… Can’t perform in front of others. I deeply enjoy this “alone” time.
I guess its cause I grew up in a house with brothers and extended family, and we weren’t allowed to lock the (1) bathroom door in the morning while everyone was getting ready for work or school. Though we were respectful, knock and wait for an answer before you enter…
I go to the bathroom with the door open, unless my roommate or I have company I will close the door but hardly ever lock it.
And the way I look at it is if you walk into the bathroom while I am on said throne then whatever scent your olfactory nerve picks up is on you, because you walked in.
I haven’t read everyone’s replies yet.
But my BF and I don’t make it a habit to break wind of any kind around each other if we can help it. My dude tends to be the sleeping farter… where he’ll be knocked out and let one rip louder than thunder! Normally I crack jokes about it the next morning or maybe that same night if it wakes him up.
He’s only seen me light up the toilet and “poot” when I was VERY sick. I was at his house and he was taking care of me. I had puke coming out one end and sewage coming out the other. I think it brought us closer together honestly… lol. It takes a good heart or love to bring in trash cans & medicine to your sick significant other.
I don’t think it matters to us either way.
“It takes a good heart or love to bring in trash cans & medicine to your sick significant other. ”
He’s a keeper!!!
LOL… yes he is (sometimes)!
I would do the same for him. When people have kids or have been around enough babies/kids… you tend to not sweat the “un-sexy” stuff like bodily functions in a relationship. It’s pretty minut!
I mean… are men going to tell his woman she’s unsexy or it’s a deal breaker when she’s pushing his big head baby out and shitting at the same time???
“I mean… are men going to tell his woman she’s unsexy or it’s a deal breaker when she’s pushing his big head baby out and shitting at the same time???”
He bet not!!!! lol
Exactly!
All that “prissy” mess goes out the window.
The truth is… as we all age and if we’re lucky to have a mate as we’re aging, you lose control of some if not most of your bodily functions. It’s life.
Bravo Lady Red for being a real woman up in here. Where we wouldn’t like to see that baby merconium n all. We appreciate you n the dnc that we feel can’t get there fast enough. lol
I was sick once and threw up all over my husband and one of his best and favorite suits. He cleaned up the floor, rug and coffee table. Had the suit cleaned and still wears it. I love that man.
As you should!
So why aren’t you comfortable to be human around him? I’m not saying walk around farting in the man’s face, but we all have our moments that our stomachs are bothering us and need to release possibly sooner than it will take us to get to a private room or bathroom.
He’s a keeper as well.
that’s beautiful Raqi
“that’s beautiful Raqi”
lol…between her and d*stroy, i think this is like the 80th time someone left this comment.
i have nothing really to add here, other than the fact that a couple years ago, one woman i was with queefed and burped at the exact same time while we were…yanno. i thought it was hilarious, but i dont know if i’ve ever seen anyone more embarrassed…which made it even more funny
i dont have a point here, btw, i just like sharing stories.
oh, and i’d be remiss not to give a shoutout to my homegirl danielle, a pittsburgh transplant in nyc who just started her own blog, and gave us some love. check her out:
http://realrandomnyc.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/ladies-there-is-no-man-shortage-click-here-for-real-relationship-advice/
i have nothing really to add here, other than the fact that a couple years ago, one woman i was with queefed and burped at the exact same time while we were…yanno. i thought it was hilarious, but i dont know if i’ve ever seen anyone more embarrassed
IDK if I would have been embarrased, but I certainly would have laughed about it. Wow.
“IDK if I would have been embarrased, but I certainly would have laughed about it. Wow.”
it probably didnt help that i called her “wc” (whoopie cushion) for the remainder of our star-crossed relationship
Daang.
Dude! I’ve accidently let a silent bomber out during sex…. I cried laughing. He laughed too! (but I did say “oh shit! Excuse me”)
There are those women who come at you off top with this whole, “I’m a real person” mantra who will burp in front of you and pass BP and stuff.
Yep and Yep. I’m definitely a f*ckin’ lady…lol
I don’t see what the big deal is—especially if we’ve done the “do” and all. You’ve probably had your tongue in the “unholiest of holies” (shouts out to Pulp Fiction) so what’s the big deal if I burp or fart? Are you serious? Throat punch…for real!!!
My x used to actually tell me if I farted in my sleep. My response was “what do you want me to do with that information?” I’m sleep…get it ASLEEP involuntary things happen. Like talking in your sleep, laughing, or the occasional passage of gas. I also told him “I’ll work on it” knowing good and dayum well there was nothing I could or would do about it.
Now on the other hand, my BFF doesn’t even poop if her husband is home. When she told me that I was like…wow. She’s like I don’t want him to think that I poop. I gave her a puzzled look and said…hey if that works for ya’ll –make it work.
Me…I’m not jacking up my colon for no one. NO ONE!!!!
::snicker::
I concur.
Bodily functions happen. When men are “that” sensitive about a woman being HUMAN… makes you wonder what other type of issues they have.
“I don’t see what the big deal is—especially if we’ve done the “do” ”
***church convocation***
1
Like most people have said, I don’t think its a big deal if a woman has a bodily function in my presence. If her stuff smells worse than mine, we are all going to change our diet though. My girl says she can’t have a good bm when I’m there though. I just don’t get it.
“My girl says she can’t have a good bm when I’m there though. I just don’t get it.”
me neither
Poor girl…she’s probably backed up…lol
Yes, bodily functions happen, however I run the water in the sink just so the guy doesn’t here me pee…. I know—- childish, but it just makes me cringe at the thought of you being able to hear me pee, especially if its a lonnnnggg one… LOL
“Yes, bodily functions happen, however I run the water in the sink just so the guy doesn’t here me pee”
lol…we can still hear both. i’ve never had the heart to tell anybody that, but its true
OMG! I need to rethink my strategy then! Thanks for the heads up, Champ!
yep, we can!!
HILARIOUS!!! OMG!!! So what can I do to make sure ya’ll don’t hear the stream flowing…
“Yes, bodily functions happen, however I run the water in the sink just so the guy doesn’t here me pee”
I do this too sometimes. I think it’s because I grew up in a house with no man and I don’t like the though of men hearing me pee. It’s so personal. Even if my boyfriend can hear it, it makes me feel better. In fact, I know for a fact he can because he made it a point to tell me he hears everything. lol
I don’t do farting in front of guys and I have pet peeve about burping. I hate them..his, mine, anyone’s. A silent, can’t tell if you really burped (same with farts) fine. A purposeful, obnoxious, i can smell your last meal burp? I might try to cause you some bodily harm.
I’m all for discretion (at most times), but I think for any man to be grossed out and dump a woman for farting/burping is extremely immature.
It’s all bodily functions, and I would be damned if I walk around bloated and uncomfortable to appear ‘ladylike’.
“It’s all bodily functions, and I would be damned if I walk around bloated and uncomfortable to appear ‘ladylike’.”
@ Linnea – LMAO! If that is not the truth… I don’t know what truth is!
Let it out. I don’t care just don’t be a douche about it. Don’t leave booby traps for me cause I’ll just think you’re a nasty bastard for doing so. I don’t too much care for that dainty prissy shit but I don’t wanna feel like I am fucking a lumberjack either.
“I don’t too much care for that dainty prissy shit but I don’t wanna feel like I am fucking a lumberjack either.”
in a nutshell
Guys, I don’t care what you say…you know that any bodily explosions are absolutely unacceptable because if you didn’t care we wouldn’t be having this debate right now. Maybe it’s just me but I get so embarrassed when my stomach starts bubbling and there is NO way out…it’s just a bad situation ready to happen. So yes I have been know to dip out on a serious cuddling session right when I feel my stomach drop, I’m sorry, I’m just not there yet.
@Alicia – You will have more problems than just bubble guts if you keep holding that mess in!!!
“Guys, I don’t care what you say…you know that any bodily explosions are absolutely unacceptable because if you didn’t care we wouldn’t be having this debate right now.”
we care if it becomes an issue. if you’re a walking, burping whoopie cushion, or someone who darts and bounces at the first sign of mud butt, then its an issue. most of us could give two shits about anything else though
i have a tendency to get burps that creep up on me like mid sentence… they are always funny.
farts on the other hand happen when i go to the bathroom. i havent had an SO in a long time that i was ready to fart around.
as for when i live with someone, ill do what i gotta do and light some incense. there is no need to share all that info with anyone. lol
however, i have full on pissed in front of someone. but he enjoyed it, so i dont find that crass at all.
“however, i have full on pissed in front of someone. but he enjoyed it, so i dont find that crass at all.”
i quickly skimmed through this comment originally, and thought it read “i pissed on someone, but he enjoyed it”.
i need some breakfast
someone still enjoyed watching her piss..i still find that a bit worrysome. Its one thing to see it but to enjoy it?
I read the same thing Champ, and I already had breakfast
yea I read that comment like 5 times and I was like huh………………….
Yeah I was picturing R.Kelly for some reason….
I’m with you. burping and farting no, peeing yes. I know it’s strange. But i mean, he wanted me to so…
see, im not the only one, lol
Let’s see, since I’m a lady (not prissy, just a lady) I don’t poot/fart or burp in polite company…and polite company includes someone I’m dating (not engaged or married to). So in effect, I try to avoid (or not subject him to) these things at all costs. I mean, if it happens, it happens…such is life.
Now, once we’re married…if it happens, the ninja with have to deal with it. I’ll still try to not subject him to it, but I need him to not act brand new if one slides out unavoidably.
After having to insert a suppositorie into my ex’s rumpus, (read: boyfriend, NOT husband) I pretty much threw all the hangups about that stuff out of the window. My husband and I stayed cute for all of 2 weeks while we were dating, until he confessed that he could no longer hold his bodily functions at bay for fear of imploding. With candles lit and the bathroom fan blowing, I could appreciate that, and felt better about my own not-so-subtle releases.
Having said that, some of my married girlfriends will only defecate when 1) their husband is not home or at the very least, 2) when he is sleeping or otherwise engaged doing other things.
They swear it helps them to maintain their sexy. I saw the screw face they have because they have to shit counters and cancels said sexiness. I’m not going to lift my leg, grunt and straight offend human nature, but I will let loose and let you know that it isn’t the garbage that you smell.
“After having to insert a suppositorie into my ex’s rumpus, (read: boyfriend, NOT husband)”
This IS Love.
“Having said that, some of my married girlfriends will only defecate when 1) their husband is not home or at the very least, 2) when he is sleeping or otherwise engaged doing other things. ”
damn. what do they do on the weekends?
@miss t…yeah, I can’t stand to see someone constipated. I wouldn’t wish constipation on anyone but Mugabe….and child predators…and…well, I guess the damn list does go on.
@Champ…they come to my house to “visit” (read:shit) I’m on to those broads…
“@Champ…they come to my house to “visit” (read:shit) I’m on to those broads…”
damn. so you just have a chorus of women taking shits in your bathroom all weekend? that stinks (pun intended)
I am dying laughing at the comments on here. I am the Fart Queen, I let my friends have it. Actually we all let each other have it but I dont know if I would be that free around my SO. I pooted around my son’s dad when we were together, if it was an accident he felt it was cool but on lifting leg, leaning to right, not so. But there is more room out than in, so get your nose plugs Oust airfreshener and portable fan, cause Imma do me. Now burps, I hate them and think that they are more controllable than farts. My aunt burps like a man AT ALL times and I HATE IT! Saying excuse me doesnt excuse the fact that my hair blew when you burped my way. Thats totally disgusting to me.
“I am the Fart Queen”
another great t-shirt.
@the alphabet…not ALL of your friends…lol…
After the other day…..you just leaving the farting to me and I will leave the f*cking to you….stay in your place and I will stay in mine….LOL!
(high fives ABCDE) got it coach! lm(red)ao
you know what, ive found that the women who were super extra anal about farting and burping and porn have also usually been the ones who, despite the fact that we were sleeping together, would try their hardest so that i didnt see them fully naked in the light and were also “embarrassed” about having orgasms.
there seems to be a strong correlation with these types of behaviors
those types of chicks should be recalled and reprogrammed
you know what, ive found that the women who were super extra anal about farting and burping and porn have also usually been the ones who, despite the fact that we were sleeping together, would try their hardest so that i didnt see them fully naked in the light and were also “embarrassed” about having orgasms.
@CHAMP…I hate that this made sense to me but I can’t be the only exception to this correlation…you only e-know me and you know those thangs ain’t me…but I am NOT fart-tastic…even when I was married, I prefered to maintain that illusion of gas-less-ness…you know I do it…but you don’t have to bare witness to it…
My t-shirt tally is racking up…I love a good orgasm and you and the neighbors will know it. But I can honestly say that I am more comfortable farting around my SO than him seeing me naked. I dont walk around the house by myself naked, I am just conditioned. Something about being naked all willy nilly irks me. Hmm I’ll sit back and psychoanalyze that some more… until then fart on world, fart on…..
LOL… I’m naked ALL THE TIME. Doesn’t matter. The first thing I do when I get to my BF’s house is take off all my clothes… hop in the shower… and let my body for the most past air dry. Never have been the “shy” one.. lol. I love my body and I love being naked. It’s just FREE!
Hell when I get in my own house this is the 1st thing I do…lol
I am going to work on this, but it really irks me. After sex, I get up and put some draws and a pair of socks on. I gotta have something on me. I go into the restroom fully dressed and come out in a robe. I am getting better, use to be where if I left something outside and I was naked and about to get in the shower, I would get fully dressed and go get it, in my own domicile. Now I will do a mad dash, while holding and covering as much as possible. LOL! Oh me, oh my! LOL!
LMAO! Goodluck with that.
The body is such a wonderful thing. I say embrace it and enjoy the nakedness!
I am moving into my own apartment in 3 months, so as a salute to solitude and grown a$$ woman ness, I will pour a glass of wine, strip down and put on some Jill and get my naked drank on to Crown Royal on Ice. Then burst out laughing at the sillyness of it all.
crown + nekkit = bliss
YES!!! Free yourself! I am naked every chance I get. I don’t care if the curtains are open. Don’t look in my window if you don’t like it.
You will get outta that quickly…I pray.
“I love a good orgasm and you and the neighbors will know it”
Same here!
“would try their hardest so that i didnt see them fully naked in the light and were also “embarrassed” about having orgasms. ”
This my friend, is what I call a treasure trove of issues.
I LOVE BEING NAKED!!!!
a few months ago while my house was being rehabed I was staying in a thrid floor apartment and it occured to me no one but the neighbors accross the street could see into my windows. I would walk all through that aparment naked, and didnt care. It was so liberating. I used to call it the 7 o’clock show. I still walk around as naked as possible whenever I can in my own home.
The way I look at it is this, if we have been bumping uglies well you have seen me in several levels of nakedness so it really doesnt matter.
“several levels of nakedness”
what, pray tell, are the levels of nakedness?
@champ don’t act like you don’t know, you know
it can be anything from
the quick and dirty: where you might not get any clothes off or some (or parts of) clothes off
to
the shower: pure nakedness
“were also “embarrassed” about having orgasms”
There are women who get embarrassed about having orgasms? I don’t get that at all.
my very first TRUE orgasm was very embarrasing. I didnt realize I was going to WET the bed. I had no idea what the hell was going on.
I guess thats why 16 years olds shouldnt be having sex
haven’t read the comments yet…so here I go…
you may not know it by some of the isht I type on here…but I’m a laaaaady! lol… I don’t fart around anyone…not even my female friends…I’m just conditioned…I leave the room or something like that…last week, me and my BFF went out and I “pooted” when she got out of the truck…but she forgot something and got back in…I was like “I farted up here”…she was like “what? you fart? OMG!” lol…and after being in the truck a few seconds…she said… “you can NEVER fart again!” LMAO… my friends (and boyfriends when applicable) let loose around me all the time… and as long as there is an “excuse me” in there somewhere… I’m fine with it… just won’t be me… (shrugging)
I don’t mind if my man burps/farts…but not at untimely times…like walking in the park…ok…while I’m showing you my tongue rings…not ok!! ya know?
i’m with raqi & alicia. can’t do it. not the BP, not the solids, and just recently got over a man hearing me pee. I can’t even comment on this topic today. i’m seeking help but not anytime soon.
btw Panama, what are “graffiti-esque stretchmarks”?
hahahha. all over looking like someone tagged you but it’s stretch marks. You start seeing w’s and M’s r’s l’s k’s
I just can’t let it rip in the presence of a guy…just like I can’t do #2 in public bathrooms, and I’ve really tried LOL. It’s like my body is like “uh uh, this isn’t home”. Now my homegirls, I’ll kill those heiffas with my gassy fumes anytime! lol
LMAO! I can’t go in public quarters either… just unsanitary. Now if it’s a matter of pooping in a public restroom or going on myself (which almost happened once)… I’m going to lace that public toilet with a roll of tissue and still squat!
I carry toilet bowl covers with me…yep!!!
I don’t care…I already told ya’ll I love my colon.
LOL, sometimes you need more than covers to protect your ass from some of those public toilets! I hear they sell portable little lysol sprays now… yep.. I will be stocking up on those jammies.
I got a whole bird’s nesting ritual.
I heart you miss tee… I am exactly the same way.
I don’t get the phobia of public bathrooms… Chances are they are cleaner than certain home bathrooms because they are cleaned DAILY …
When I was younger, I wouldn’t let anyone know when I was “handling business.” It was unladylike to me, especially around men.
Then I began to have serious unexplainable stomach problems and I had to learn to “handle business” unexpectedly or the business would handle me. Granted I won’t let it all loose around you, but I will tell you I need some time alone. I still think that no one should leave the door open while they take a dump…no one should be subjected to that.
Just when I thought I had become liberated in the potty and bodily function department, I got pregnant. I am a total prissy chick, but pregnancy makes you real comfortable talking about your bodily functions or lack thereof. Lol You can’t always sneak away before “business” presents itself. My cousin keeps warning me that any day now I’m gonna start peeing on myself and that I will probably take a dump on the table during delivery. So, how ladies do you sneak away from that one? I’m still terrified.
I just hope my man still things I’m hot and excuses me since I am carrying his child. Having someone’s baby should get me a big pass.
yeah…pregnancy needs a PR person…you may not make a move on the delivery table…some doctors offer enimas prior to delivery for that specific purpose…ask your doc…my biggest fear was letting the co-parent “trim my hedges” pre-partum so I would be “presetable” to the staff…lol…I couldn’t see my own goodies, let alone reach them for maintanence, so he had to do it for me…now THAT is some scary ish!!
sorry funny image in my head like the hair cut scene from don’t be a menace. I’m outta line I know. but how would you know?
“Having someone’s baby should get me a big pass.”
I agree. I’ve never been down that road so I can’t relate. I hope it’s all going well for you & the baby!!
Yeah… I made a comment similar earlier to the guys.
I would love to see how relevant a fart or pooping is when you see a baby born and the woman is shitting and farting at the same time. Lets not forget how much blood is involved as well!
Pregnancy = gas times infinity. And it is very uncontrollable and rank! The things birthing babies can do to you. I didnt do #2 during birth but I was afraid of that too. The only was to handle it is blame everything on the baby and your condition. It works everytime.
I had my baby with a midwife and my husband’s face was 3 inches from my middle while our son was emerging…
So I think he cares less about a fart, burp, or much else after that. Pregnancy made me so miserable that if I could have lifted my fat ass leg up to fart…on people that got on my nerves at that…I most certainly would have.
………and another thing I wanted to add.
Why are (some) people so damn squeamish about stretch marks? Is it really that serious? A good majority of women have them if not from growing into their bodies, then from pregnancy.
I have them ’cause I’m fat.
And what?!
::snicker::
I think men fear stretch marks like women fear their men balding at a young age. It happens.
My suggestion is for them bothered folks to get over it or only date people 10 yrs younger than them!
“Stretch Marks are roadmaps to the best places.”
I don’t know if I got this quote exactly right, but it cracked me up.
“Stretch Marks are roadmaps to the best places.”
this is clever and shit. so much so that i wish i thought of it first
my 6 year old neice has stretch marks on her buttocks (she’s half Puerto Rican, and she’s inheriting a PR booty, I feel so bad for my brother)
adendum: she is not at all overweight, she is solid and has a cute little figure which is a bad sign on a six year old.
She gon be BEATING dudes off her. I hope her daddy is ready to fight.
I haven’t read everything and I can’t right now. Panama you done did it now. Cuz when “the dog left the room” my face blew up like Louis Armstrong on his trumpet and turned beat red. (and w this mowhawk I’m rockin the cubical world pc will be out the window).
Champ you n your dad too. In the elevator. Your dad sounds like the grandfather that Gene Hackman played in the royal tenenbaums (when he was hanging w/ the twin grandsons).
Me personally I think it’s okay especially after the goodies have been exposed. I mean that is when I let the demons do their deeds. And I’m a person who thinks flatulance = funny. I’m silly like that. And the cuter prissier the funnier. It’s my own true to life slapstick comedy. Like one time my grandma (who is always a lady) but I think she did this when I was a kid playing in the floor of the living room by her chair. I started crying and wondering if I had done something wrong n ran outside. Only one person in my life has matched said profuse oderiferous. My homeboy in college. He let one rip in a paddyfoote dorm room. Okay the pungency has only been matched by the smell of rotting meat. BTW has the same amonia based aeromatics that humans have come to disdain and know to be a danger to consume.
I’m nice about letting people know though. If you ever see me directing traffic like I just took over the think tank room in some fbi catch the bad guy scene. Run it is not a drill! I mean the latest ex shared an article off of msn that gave tips on reducing these emissions. Try not to swallow air when you eat what the whootbanging. How you do that. Oh and when I’m drinking beer I have to let those belches out. That’s the worst gas in the world for me. I mean if I don’t let that out I will litterally get sick. I’mma holla. gonna have to copy and paste today’s blog in a word document and take it home or email it or something. OMG.
Oh yeah Don G I had a co-worker who had been married for some time. Him and his wife compete over the stinks. I think it’s sort of a revenge thing. She learned to give as good as she got. But she took it too far one day cuffed and stuffed a female co-worker n made her cry. bwaaaahahaaaa
“Him and his wife compete over the stinks. I think it’s sort of a revenge thing. She learned to give as good as she got. But she took it too far one day cuffed and stuffed a female co-worker n made her cry. bwaaaahahaaaa”
vsb.com: where dutch ovens happen
I try not to fart in front of my man, and not because I am so super-duper self concious, but I like to leave some things to the imagination, i want the prevailing visions of me in his head to be of me being naked or that special thing I did to him last night, not of me ripping a big one… nah mean?
“i want the prevailing visions of me in his head to be of me being naked or that special thing I did to him last night, not of me ripping a big one… nah mean?”
we can handle multiple images
Wow…the comments are hilarious!
So two things…yes it’s completely disgusting, but it is natural…and once you’ve enjoyed the bliss of nakedness while listening to Miles on a rainy day it becomes perfectly acceptable to implement the lift-and-spread rule thereafter. But that’s my two cents…
Kamilah??? “lift-and-spread” my ni99a…really?? that is hi(fuggin)larious…I will never implement such a rule…lol…and while it’s ok for a man to fart in my presence…fart games and dutch ovens are not covered in that clause…there will be trouble!
For some reason, my burps don’t project outwards…they’re like weird inward burps. So those are not the problem for me and my honey.
I made it a point to not fart around him until he farted around me first. After that, all bets were off! LOL! Although, I do at least move to a different part of the room or even leave the room if it’s gonna be a real monster.
I have a married friend that has been with her husband for over 10 years and has never farted around him. Damn all that. People fart. Guys need to get over it. Be ladylike but be real.
BTW, love the site. Found it via someone else’s blog…
welcome and shit
Totally agree, once he farts, its open season within limits of course on both parties.
Everything is kosher when you see me with the side ponytail and half down walking around wal-mart w/ you @ 2 am in the morning in pajamas (you know the ones…the sweats and I have your ole’ football shirt on from college) trying to find tortilla chips and queso dip. My ex used to sit on the toilet calling my name out to come have a conversation w/ him while his eyes water from focusing on the task at hand.
So ummm. yeah. that pretty much says we were comfortable and we are human.
I guess I like comfort and that’s how a relationship will always be for me.
So ummm. yeah. that pretty much says we were comfortable and we are human.
I guess I like comfort and that’s how a relationship will always be for me.
Yes, exactly.
I think it would only be appropriate to fart when your married. I dont think I would fart around a significant other until we were significant enough to exchange vowels.
Also I was with my ex for 3 years. He got pretty comfortable. So much so that he would be on the toilet .. and ask me to come bring him something! And he would also walk in the bathroom while I was in there! ugghhh! I just think bodily functions should be kept to yourself.
I say until marriage.. but even then i think i’ll just go to the other room..
That’s the beautiful catch about marriage, you get to encounter and endure all of the not so pleasant every day body blunders. Poots, burps, smells, ingrown hairs in unsightly places, ingrown toenails, the sounds and sight of phlegm clearing and so much more.
It’s a beautiful thang.
It all boils down to manners (and being ladylike and gentlemanly). I dont think having manners relates to being comfortable in a relationship. I dont like smelling farts – not from myself, not from other people, so im leaving the room dammit. And you should too. That being said, mistakes happen. Act accordingly, excuse yourself and spray responsibly.
OK!! I thought this was sooooo appropriate to todays topic… I dont know who is up on Alexyss K. Tylor and her Vagina Power, but I saw this a few months ago and died!!! SOOOOOO HILARIOUS!! Warning though- this is not really safe for work due to language if you can please hook up the headphones… AND ENJOY!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7tN1UmJ6Go
OMG!!!! LMAO
I love her. She is so inappropriate but truthful, holds no punches.
my favorite quotes from this are:
“you hold your shyte but you don’t hold off from taking all that dyk… it’s really inappropriate”
“you know him well enough to get up in you pudy but you dont know him well enough to take a shyte?”
her advise at the end is priceless about preparing a bag
LMAO!!!!!
Yeah she is like your drunk aunt that doesnt know how to hold her liquor at alllll…. and she’s trying to school you on men!!
I’ve been with the same guy for over 10 years and married for 2. I’ve never done it. I don’t ever want to be that comfortable.
Er… uh… “poots” happen. I wouldn’t say hold it in for dear life if you’re around your S/O. But, I’m in that “ladylike” school of thought, so I couldn’t just let one rip, loud and unabashed, on a regular basis.
And I’d prefer if he didn’t either.
But still. I understand. It happens. *shrugs*
I know I am days late, but I don’t think there is any place or time on God’s green earth in which you could catch me wittingly passing gas in the presence of anyone, let alone a lover. If this were to happen accidentally, I’d handle it with grace (after I fainted), but I don’t like bathroom humor, I don’t discuss bathroom habits or gross digestive details and I would be very disgusted if my lover did the same. I can love the nerdy you, the vulnerable, insecure you….but keep the smelly, passing gas you for your homies.
Ok, so I’m one more day later than the last person. I have to share this story though. I dated this one guy for almost 3 years and one day we were….you know…making looovvveeee and I let one loose. It was soooooo loud. I just wanted to sink in the bed and disappear forever. He didn’t say anything but his facial expressions spoke a million words. Despite the fart it didn’t stop him from finishing his business. But even thought we were together for almost 3 years, I still wasn’t ready for him to see that side of me.
Ladies, just pretend it’s your ringtone.
Man… good one. [thinking....]
I do respect a women who is “real” and carries herself “real.” As cliche as that may sound i do believe that, that is the correct word. Shit, we’re all human, and humans…. poot, fart, pass gas, burp, shit, boo-boo (ok you get the picture). In my teenage years/early or earli-ER 20′s rather, it was unacceptable for a woman to pass gas period, surely not around me. I was young then, but getting older i dont too much care. Unless of course its the first date, or somewhere along the lines of i just found out your last name.
Funny story, i fell asleep at my Ex’s house (before she was my Ex or my girl, was just getting to know her) watching movies and woke myself up, but once i woke up i didnt know if i really had or was dreaming, i opened my eyes but didnt lift my head, didnt wanna embarass myself. Months later after having been with her a while i asked her if she remember, she said yea and said she had quite a good laugh about it after i had fallen back asleep… she dealt with it quite well, so i figured all those other times she pooted in her sleep… i’d give her a pass lol
FResh