I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Usually I love bewb shots. In fact, when I heard that Rihanna’s knockers were gracing the cover of a magazine, I got happy. I mean, it’s Rihanna. It’s bewbs. It’s two of my favorite things in the same place at the same damn time at the same damn time we got Rih and we got bewbs at the same damn time.
And yet, when I saw the picture, I was like…aww. That’s nice. Maybe it’s too artsy (not a bad thing). Maybe it’s because it’s Rihanna and it’s nothing we haven’t seen already. Maybe the idea of Rihanna’s bewbs have leaped the actuality of them. But something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Lest you think I’m just not appreciative, I’m a fan of the T (while equally appreciating the &A). And I love Rihanna’s in this picture. Let’s make sure that’s clear.
I grew up in Germany, a land where you could go to the park on a hot day and see women laid out in the grass sans tops. It was in this time I determined that they were magical. They could solve difficult mathematical equations and tie my shoes. No matter how big or small they could crip walk and teach the world to sing. On Tuesdays they could make bagels.
You’re right. I over did that. It wasn’t even close to being bagels. Just toast. Pshaw.
Then I examined said picture and well, its actually a very nice and artsy photo. It looks like it could be hanging up in the Louvre, my home, or a community rec center in Chicago.
Let’s get back to the actuality of Rihanna jumping the shark. One of the best things about Rihanna is her social media presence. She makes great music that is completely useless beyond its radio cycle. She’s not a dancer. She’s not the greatest singer, but she is definitely a value add to the pop culture landscape. Two super lightskint dudes have thrown bottles at one another because of her. She dated a Dodger. “We Found Love” is one of the biggest songs in ever. But also, she has this Zero Fux Given attitude that she emanates. And I like it. But you know what, that means she does what she wants when she wants. If she wants to smoke crack in the bathroom she does it. She’s made her presence felt and I’m here for it. But it’s also made her seem so accessible, to the point where it’s like, oh Rihanna did something else nutty. Cool. Holla at me when Beyonce puts her bewbs on blast.
My point here is that, I think I’ve got to the point of slight Rihanna ennui. It’s normal. I still love her and will likely like whatever Euro-influenced music she drops next. But that’s about it. So when you hear, Rihanna goes topless on the cover of a magazine, its like “yay…but we just saw her boobs on IG.”
Which is not a bad thing. Let me not make it sound like I’m complaining. In fact, let’s switch the focus.
I’m kind of surprised a magazine actually put that picture on the cover. Again, the picture is very artsy. In fact, when I first saw it, all I saw was how good the picture is and didn’t even focus on the nudity. I focused on the picture at large. Perhaps I’m growing up. Maybe I’ve seen too many. Maybe it’s just that good a picture for the cover.
Maybe we’ve gotten so used to seeing skin and nudity that celebrity nudity isn’t that big a deal. Because society. In fact…do you remember the “Rumpshaker” video? Man, back in 1992, that seemed like a somewhat risque video. Look at this still from the video:
One of them has on a one-piece. I remember my mother feeling like we were seeing too much. BUT THERE’S A ONE-PIECE. Butts are covered. There are hats. Compared to this video, #wcw on Instagram is a pr0n site. I mean it kind of is even if we’re not comparing.
I’m boring myself now. So I ask: is Rihanna’s cover (and ensuing shoot) a big deal nowadays? Is it surprising or have we gotten so used to these displays that its just another day in the projects?
I’m entertained. I enjoy the picture. And I moved on.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. SHARING IS CARING aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3