Comments on: return of the black man’s hat: the loyalty fallacy http://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy Thu, 24 May 2012 00:59:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: PBGhttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-25524 PBG Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:20:36 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-25524 I date black men, of the larger persuasion, because I don't find men of other races [read: white dudes] or skinny dudes attractive. And I have a down-low aversion to light-skinned black men, but I don't put it out there that often because it makes it hard to explain away my high yella son. Impetuous youth: I had it. *sigh*Now, with that being said, I stick w/a dude in particular when I know I should be cutting my loses and bouncing because I HATE CHANGE! I am lazy and never want to start over, and as I've gotten older, this has gotten worse. So I stay single or "loosely connected" to my favorite guys just to avoid all that "brand new" crap that I'm SURE I was totally over 6 yrs ago. I date black men, of the larger persuasion, because I don’t find men of other races [read: white dudes] or skinny dudes attractive. And I have a down-low aversion to light-skinned black men, but I don’t put it out there that often because it makes it hard to explain away my high yella son. Impetuous youth: I had it. *sigh*

Now, with that being said, I stick w/a dude in particular when I know I should be cutting my loses and bouncing because I HATE CHANGE! I am lazy and never want to start over, and as I’ve gotten older, this has gotten worse. So I stay single or “loosely connected” to my favorite guys just to avoid all that “brand new” crap that I’m SURE I was totally over 6 yrs ago.

]]> By: Very Smart Brothas | hair, hair, hairhttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22703 Very Smart Brothas | hair, hair, hair Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:02:00 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22703 [...] to upgrade from a close fade to a ceaser some time in the winter of 1995, i’ve stayed loyal (heh) to the cut. sure, i occasionally change the length and thickness of my beard and mustache, but my [...] [...] to upgrade from a close fade to a ceaser some time in the winter of 1995, i’ve stayed loyal (heh) to the cut. sure, i occasionally change the length and thickness of my beard and mustache, but my [...]

]]> By: SoulMariposahttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22702 SoulMariposa Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:14:36 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22702 Jen…

“No, the experiences of individual Black Americans are not identical, but they share common threads. Again, if you had no exposure to Black people and our culture growing up, then I’m sorry.”

You seem to use Black people and Black Americans interchangeably. I do agree that there are shared experiences of Black people. However, there are Black people in America, who were born here that don’t have the essentialized “Black experience” that you are alluding to– namely American-born children of African and Carribbean immigrants. You seem to be referring to the historical legacy of slavery, Jim Crow, Reagonomics, etc. Some of second gen-ers share these experiences some of us don’t. I don’t think it warrants an apology. In fact, the apology is kinda condescending. I’d invite you to be clearer with your terminology.

]]> By: shay-d-ladyhttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22701 shay-d-lady Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:18:24 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22701 thats the exact type of person i was referring too thats the exact type of person i was referring too

]]> By: shay-d-ladyhttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22700 shay-d-lady Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:17:17 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22700 I hate comments like that because when the reverse is applied "acting" white...we get mad and defensive and make statements like why is being educated and not breaking verbs considered white when you perpetuate the stereotype by giving "black passes" to white people that reinforce the ghetto stereotypes..... I hate comments like that because when the reverse is applied “acting” white…we get mad and defensive and make statements like why is being educated and not breaking verbs considered white when you perpetuate the stereotype by giving “black passes” to white people that reinforce the ghetto stereotypes…..

]]> By: Jenhttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22699 Jen Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:08:39 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22699 I'm sorry, but the idea that there is no such thing as a Black experience in this country is laughable. No, the experiences of individual Black Americans are not identical, but they share common threads. Again, if you had no exposure to Black people and our culture growing up, then I'm sorry. But the rest of Black America shares quite a lot, and what you describe in your first paragraph is not the essence of that bond. I’m sorry, but the idea that there is no such thing as a Black experience in this country is laughable. No, the experiences of individual Black Americans are not identical, but they share common threads. Again, if you had no exposure to Black people and our culture growing up, then I’m sorry. But the rest of Black America shares quite a lot, and what you describe in your first paragraph is not the essence of that bond.

]]> By: Equal Opportunity Daterhttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22698 Equal Opportunity Dater Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:22:55 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22698 As a Black woman who has dated a variety of people (race, shade or gender be damned) I have found it beneficial to take folks on a person by person basis and to be open to an individual's wonderfulness, attractiveness, etc regardless of any preconceived notion or expectation.I think that many Black women expect to be in LTR with Black men, and are simply holding out, not out of loyalty but because they think they are supposed to.I believe it will take a huge shift in perspective of Black women to (in large numbers) feel comfortable dating other races of people for a whole host of reasons. As a Black woman who has dated a variety of people (race, shade or gender be damned) I have found it beneficial to take folks on a person by person basis and to be open to an individual’s wonderfulness, attractiveness, etc regardless of any preconceived notion or expectation.

I think that many Black women expect to be in LTR with Black men, and are simply holding out, not out of loyalty but because they think they are supposed to.

I believe it will take a huge shift in perspective of Black women to (in large numbers) feel comfortable dating other races of people for a whole host of reasons.

]]> By: Luvviehttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22697 Luvvie Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:13:29 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22697 It's hilarious how half these responses are cell phone grievances, and tips on how to get out of contracts early.VSB: helping consumers scheme since 1913. It’s hilarious how half these responses are cell phone grievances, and tips on how to get out of contracts early.

VSB: helping consumers scheme since 1913.

]]> By: Luvviehttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22696 Luvvie Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:11:45 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22696 LMAO @ #6 "Die". Well iDied laughing LMAO @ #6 “Die”. Well iDied laughing

]]> By: kamakulahttp://verysmartbrothas.com/return-of-the-black-mans-hat-the-loyalty-fallacy/#comment-22695 kamakula Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:36:37 +0000 http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/?p=303#comment-22695 Hmm, my point is that almost nobody is a part of the "full breadth of the Black cultural experience in this country". There seems to exist some myth of a hardcore streetwise dude who father died in jail who drives from his Wall street job in a pinto back to his grandmother's house in the ghetto where he lives in the back room of the basement.That is quite the exaggeration, but my point is that black people can't have a monopoly on understanding the "black" experience. It is impossible because there is no unified black experience. So, women who don't date outside their race because the person cannot "understand" what they go through will have the same issue with plenty of guys within their race. (I'm not necessarily saying there is something wrong with this). Hmm, my point is that almost nobody is a part of the “full breadth of the Black cultural experience in this country”. There seems to exist some myth of a hardcore streetwise dude who father died in jail who drives from his Wall street job in a pinto back to his grandmother’s house in the ghetto where he lives in the back room of the basement.

That is quite the exaggeration, but my point is that black people can’t have a monopoly on understanding the “black” experience. It is impossible because there is no unified black experience. So, women who don’t date outside their race because the person cannot “understand” what they go through will have the same issue with plenty of guys within their race. (I’m not necessarily saying there is something wrong with this).

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