Go that way.
While relationships can be as fun as two labradoodle puppies rolling around in the grass snipping at butterflies, they can also be as non-sensical and confusing as three Chinamen watching Black Dynamite translated into patois. After accounting for personal biases and f*cked up family histories plus the square root of the insane relationship drama that’s already occurred, its a wonder anybody manages to get into relationships at all nowadays. But luckily, we’re a persistent bunch, us humans. Not like those Plutoians. Those lazy bastards let AMERICA nix their planet from the solar system.
What kind of p*ssy lets his whole PLANET get snuffed out by some random schmucks?
And by the way, I haven’t even begun to fight to get to my point. So let’s get to the point: relationships, while fun, are also a the source of so many retarded rules and “ironic” aha moments that I felt like I’d be doing a service to Obama by NOT discussing a few of these paradoxical paradoxes – which may or may not have just canceled itself out.
By the way, I’m watching vh1Soul right now and Levert’s “Casanova” is playing right now. It seems like all male singing groups from the early 80s to mid 90s were pretty damn gay. And by the way, Lyfe Jennigs “Statistics” song is hilariously R. Kellyian. Anyway, on to the paradoxes.
1. We hold people me met two months ago to a higher standard with our emotions than we do somebody we’ve known for ten years.
Talk abot a conflict of interest. I remember a long time ago, many moons ago, where a chick I was talking to at the time got flaked on by me (I’m sure I had a good reason at the time) and her best friend. Do you know she was mad at? Me. I said I was going to do something and I didn’t do it. Her other friend is known for being that way so she could forgive that. Hey God, it’s me Vitamin P…what part of the game is that? But men and women do it. We entrust these new people we don’t know from Adam with our hearts and then get mad when they turn it into the ball during World Cup 2012: Deez Nuts Edition. I’ve always taken umbrage with this one. Then again, I use words like umbrage so I’m prone to go up on the down stroke.
2. Chicks will sleep with a dude they aren’t interested in but will hold out on a guy they actually like.
This is the most counterintuitive chick logic (double negative redundancy, I know) in history. If a chick is really feeling you, she’ll tell you to wait for it and earn it, while Big Black Af from Crenshaw and King texts her with the “cum over” and she’s ready to to hit the streets for the back shots.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKY.
3. Guys (my brothers my brothers) will expect women to believe we instantly change…a solid 2 minutes after doing the very thing that caused a woman to not want to deal with us.
Even I can admit to dropping the “I’ve changed” line once before. It was true though. She didn’t like the shirt I had on, so I changed it. Speaking of change, Omarion had a song called “I’m Gon’ Change” on his album O, which I suppose is self-titled, though I’m guessing the “O” was more of a double entendre…anyway, men expect women NOT to take our entire histories into account when we say stuff like, “baby, I’m different now.” Then again, women will take us back 98 percent of the time, so why should we learn.
Hmm…
4. Women will take us back 98 percent of the time.
So why should we learn. If every time a man takes something out of the cookie jar, you put 10 more cookies in just in case he wants more, what else iz we gon’ do? Hey girl, don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime.
Does anybody actually know what the f*ck Lyfe was talking about with that line? Did he just tell average heffas to stay in their lane AFTER telling them how much men suck?
5. Men and women take advice from their single and unhappy friends…because they’re available to give advice instead of happily boning somebody.
Single women have been giving out bad advice for eons. I’m convinced that the it wasn’t a serpent who misled Eve, there was another chick in the Garden of Eden in the lost books of the bible who told Eve “girl, he ain’t listening to you? Where dey do dat at? Give him the apple and teach him a thing or two. Girl, God wont know, he busy watching Guiding Light.”
Michael Jackson said that you are not alone, so what are other relationship paradoxes that suggested reh-tardation? Where dey do dat at?
It’s midnight, do you know where your pillow pet is?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
I wonder how this feels
@random – this is gay.
first?!
@ThatOne AKA – first loser.
hey now…I was a few seconds delayed…it was rather fun trying
Top 5 I think
One relationship paradox rule I HATE is if you really like him don’t ever be the one to call/text/bbm/skype/gchat/smokesignals/etc ever, let him always contact you or do the 4:1 ratio of him:you. Why can’t I just call you if I wanna talk?!?? But nooooooo, you have to play this game or dudes get funny. With any other relationship in life, parent, sibling, friends, etc., you mostly call when you feel like it. Call a dude “too much” (more times than he calls you) and he pulls a Houdini or does some other wackness.
But then he starts to think you dont like him or just wanna be “friends”, and everything goes to hell….and then the black marriage is 1%.
@Andi – i think there is a fine balance, on both sides. cuz if a dude calls too much you all don’t like that either. i do hate games. if i want to talk or text you, i’m gonna call or text you. if you dont like, well then f*ck your couch.
Men and women take advice from their single and unhappy friends…because they’re available to give advice instead of happily boning somebody.
I been saying something similar to this for years! Ask those that have been married for a long time or at least in a long term {5+ years} relation ship!
Thank you for making my point.
Good Morning
well then f*ck your couch .
Whatever happened to Eff Yo Couch?? He was hilarious.
@ Andi Top 5 I think
way to lower expectations! LOL
number 1 is a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaa bea.
one argument i cant stand is ‘how am i gonna find out such and such from so and so, thats something you should have told me’
it’s cuz we’ve had 4 dates ninja, if you hadn’t have snooped then maybe I would have told you.
People expect to know the As and Zs about the darkest moment of your life withing 2 weeks of dating because as soon as they hear about it from somebody else its like ‘YOU WERE HIDING THIS FROM ME’, when this happens, i could be nice and lie about how I was getting around to it.. or just be honest and ask you what makes you think you deserve to hear my autobiography when I still dont know if I want you around next week.
As for number 4… i dont understand that. I have friends who at the age of 20 take back a dude after he messes up time and time again. Why are people so obsessed with finding the ‘one’ that they’re willing to hold on to any ‘one’.
Why are people so obsessed with finding the ‘one’ that they’re willing to hold on to any ‘one’.
*finger snaps*
hahah thank you yeah so, you’re the only one that didnt get distracted by my ‘reign in the retard’ campaign.
its so annoying, but to each their own. i feel like i have got the whole rest of my life to find mr right. thats the whole point of mr right is that you find him eventually and you fall happily ever after in love. theres not just 1 mr. right, i mean hey…. if you stumble upon him accidently have a cookie. but im not gonna start worrying about that until i’m at least 6 years older. youth… LOL, it’s a beautiful thing.
too beautiful to be tied down I say
lol… yeah the “r” word gets really real for some… anyway
I agreed… I ain’t rushing to be with Mr Alright because Mr Right ain’t here yet… it’s cool, I’ll wait.
I think if more women were like dat… more ninjas would get they isht together.
true that. lol that attitude could cure battered wives. you’ve got your whole life to constantly forgive somebody but you dont know how much longer your gonna be able to have fun for.
frankly, true love can wait. and if it can’t then its not true love
@santa monica-Today, right here & right now, we are soooooooooo here on many things*
frankly, true love can wait. and if it can’t then its not true love,
Let’s just add this to the list right now
And about your use of the word retarded…….
@ santa monica: now that you mention it..
funny how i didnt see the 1st word..i only originally saw relationship paradoxes.
retarded is def a word that should be removed from everyday vocab.
@keisha brown,
Why?
Co-signing all of the “remove retarded” from the lexicon comments , and “No Remove Deez”. please & thank you
What’s wrong with the use of the word retarded?
“Some people have mental retardation (intellectual disabilities). While mental retardation is not a bad word, when used to describe someone or something you think is bad or stupid it becomes another thoughtless hurtful word. People with intellectual disabilities are not bad. Their condition is not bad. The prejudice and discrimination to people with intellectual disabilities is BAD…and WRONG! Please stop using the word ‘retard’. It hurts individuals and families of those with disabilities.” -I copied this directly form the “r” word site- comparatively speaking it is what the *N word is to lots of Black folks*#reachoneteachone
^^ yeah. what she said. lol.
well put bajan…
but isn’t the whole point of using the word to imply that the relative action was reflective of an action by someone who is mentally/intellectually handicapped? I never have understood why that is hurtful.
My feelings aren’t hurt if a man says another man is acting like a girl, because I understand it implies that his behavior is emotionally driven, or estrogen charged in some nature. While I am a woman who isn’t generally excessively emotional, I understand the intended meaning, and am in now way offended. Why is everybody so sensitive.
As far as the N-word goes, uhhhh I don’t actually use it anymore, but when I did, it had nothing to do with race as much as it did displays of ignorant behavior, usually on the part of men(no race was exempt).
I had a feeling the response would be along those lines. I agree that it could be hurtful when used with a condescending connotation; however, it’s important to recognize that any word routinely used with a negative connotation will pick up a negative stigma.
It’s kinda like when people were trying to stop teachers from using red ink when grading assignments that were wrong. They said it would hurt the kids feelings, but they don’t realize that if they were to use blue (or any other color) instead, eventually the child would associate blue with hurt feelings so it’s really a pointless exercise.
I think political correctness has gone too far. My point is, if I’m using the “R” word in a non-condescending way and am simply describing a situation or condition, I don’t see the need to be all sensitive about it.
For example, a 2520 coworker says “Jack got fired for calling Obama the Head Nigg*r in charge.” I take no offense to the coworker’s use of nigg*r because he was simply describing what was said. “Jack’s” statement on the other hand is offensive because it was intended to be condescending
@ j.ivy & caballeroso.
at the end of the day, you can choose your own words,
but when a boy is called a f@gg*t for emoting, a man is called a b*tch, a person is called ghetto or a situation is called retarded – there are subtexts behind those words and we all know what you are really trying to say
i have a friend who works with children with autism so she makes me aware of it. for instance it’s not autistic kids as they are still kids FIRST. little things, but there is power in words and in how we use them.
there is some PC’s ness that has gone too far (ie: red marker example), but words that have been used against a group of people in a hurtful way is different IMO.
@santa monica – not to be funny, but do you really think i, panama jackson, am going to be PC enough to stop using the word retarded? if i havent removed the n-word from my vocab, then the r-word isn’t going anywhere.
also, you do realize how un-PC we are here? at VSB? everyday of the week? right?
@all y’all folks – as not to be insensitive, let me say that i understand why some people would take issue with the term based on their own personal experiences, etc. however, if i was going to censor myself based on everybody here’s personal experiences, every post would be one word long and say nothing more than “hello”.
unless i decide to “clean up” everything else, i cant in good faith start picking and choosing whose feelings not to hurt or “offend”. further, i wasnt aiming to offend. and while i do know that intentions dont really matter if the end result is f*cked, i believe that if you choose to use a perjorative meaning of the word as opposed to the “ridiculously dumb” context that i used it in, well, I cant really help you.
@PJ:
You make a very good point. But I also think it was important to bring it up. If we censor the n-word (by replacing it with ninja), this it not a bad thing to consider others.
But this is YOUR blog and I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut. LOL.
So I’ll govern myself accordingly (aka STHU).
We censor the N word, and many words here for the purposes of not wanting to get blocked at people’s jobs. Most site censoring programs are sensitive in ways that don’t make any logical sense, so we have a blanket block on some words that could toe the line.
It’s definitely not because we want to be PC.
to everyone that commented about the use of the word retard,
you cant compare it to the n word or any other kind of word. People with mental retardation are mentally handicapped, thats like making fun of the guy that always gets picked last for teams in gym by calling him ‘cripple’ or like making fun of somebody with lopsided breasts by saying ‘you’re so breast-cancerous’.
It’s not about offending me, it’s about taking care to not put down people that society puts down so much already, that most high schools train them for the ‘real world’ by paying them minimum wage to clean the cafeteria after the ‘normal’ kids are done eating and off learning.
Some sh*t doesn’t have to be politically correct to be right. Shit, I’m muslim, a first generation african immigrant and female. My life is pretty much politically incorrect, so don’t get me wrong. I could give a f*ck about getting elected or not coming off as crass. But even a person like me who wouldn’t think twice about telling it like it is, should think twice telling it like it is at the expense of the most innocent and degraded members of our community.
and i’m not telling you not to use it point blank, i’m just bringing attention to the reasons why it shouldn’t be used.
you can lead a man to your river but that doesn’t mean you can expect him not to turn right back around and drink from his own river instead.
or however the saying goes. basically here are the facts… use them or ignore them, my duty goes no further then getting them out there and yours goes no further then hearing them out.
well stated
@Santa Monica, I agree with most of what you said. Especially when you say “it’s about taking care to not put down people that society puts down so much already.” I agree. However, if a person is retarded (per the clinical definition), and I refer to them as retarded, why is that a put down?
@bajan, thanks
@caballeroso: it’s not. if you’re retarded you’re retarded. theres nothing wrong with that, its how god made you. it’s societies use of the term ‘retard’ to mean ‘below average’ or ‘stupid’ that makes it a bad word, which is why I protest using the term as an insult.
wouldn’t everyone protest the use of the n word if it became common practice to describe a thug regardless of race just because of ignorant stereotypes?
In this case, if you replaced the word ‘thug’ or ‘gangster’ in every news paper article with the n word just because of the stereotype that blacks are criminals everyone would be up in arms. WHY is it any different when people replace the words ‘stupid’ or ‘nonsensical’ with the word retard?
Panama Jackson- thanks for the upfront “as not to be insensitive”…for that alone makes you bigger than most folks when it comes to this topic, and I do understand that you can not pick & choose, hell part of the draw to this site is that you do address topics that other folks won’t touch , I for one just wanted to say I appreciate that. done.
retard (v): delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment
The use of the word retarded in the title of this post is completely appropriate.
As you were…
wow at #5…that’s just wrong, partially true, but just wrong
What kind of p*ssy lets his whole PLANET get snuffed out by some random schmucks – LMAOOOOO!!!!
1. I dont think we hold new ppl to a higher standard. I think it’s more that you determine how someone treats you. So if you dont let the dude know that it aint cool to call you at 12:29pm on a weeknight, when you told him to call you at 11pm…he’s going to continue to do it. With your old friends, youve already invested the time, have accepted their pros and cons.
2. It doesnt take much to figure out why. if we aint trying to catch feelings, then you can catch the backshot. If we care what you think, and dont want you to assume we’re kat stacks wannabes, we’ll hold out to present ourselves as the good girl. yes, this does end up backfiring cuz it doesnt seem to matter. *lesigh
3. im skipping this one cuz ive never done it and dont understand it. lol.
4. we’re suckers like that. plus nothing is worse than investing time, money, victoria secrets and pole dancing lessons on a dude, breaking up and seeing another girl enjoy the fruits of your labour.
5. i take advice from the people who know me best and since the bulk of my girlfriends are single, that’s just how it plays out. plus married people dont have any idea what the dating world is like. so while they can sympathise, they can’t empathize. or is it the other way around? hmm.. what im trying to say is they can’t TRULY know the plights of a single gal when they get to wake up every day knowing they are loved and go to sleep beside someone who doesn’t mind if they drool on the pillows.
ps: my pillow pet (aka chocolate moose) is right beside me.
and Sadly “we’ll hold out to present ourselves as the good girl. yes, this does end up backfiring cuz it doesnt seem to matter. *lesigh”
I am co-signing your *lesigh OFFICIALLY…..but on a happier note you’ll be winin up all ova deplace shortly Caribana 2010*****and celebratin your b-day, maybe you will meet a really SB durin one of the fete dem, as long as you dutty winin correckly, in hind sight-prolly not de best way fi meet a good one*double le sigh#thatisall
@bajan…
yesssss….i got my tickets, ($15 for one, $25 for the other..it pays to plan in adv since it can get RIDONKULOUS @ the door), my outfits, my hair apt, my mani/pedi colours ready, my house will be clean, fridge stocked… MI READY!!
As for meeting a dude while dutty whinin… you are correct that might not be the best position. but i’ll keep ya updated! might post twitpics of some of the debauchery!
@kb,
i think newly married friends, and even friendsin non-married committed successful relationships are INVALUABLE in terms of advice and what relationships are about and how you make things work (even when you really love you mate but dont like them at times).
i enjoy talking to my younger married friends about relationships and my dating woes. they are very helpful and give me good feedback. i take single-friend advice with a grain of salt (i have to way WHY theyre single against what their feedback is)
*weigh, not way
sorry for all the typos. im not multi-tasking well today *smh*
@keisha brown – we’ll hold out to present ourselves as the good girl. yes, this does end up backfiring cuz it doesnt seem to matter.
i could (and might) write an ENTIRE post dedicated to how much i HATE the good girl f*ckery that so many women subscribe to. ESPECIALLY since what you do is reflected fully in how you carry yourself. nobody’s going to call you a ho unless you act like one (or rock her uniform).
@PJ.
I understand your angst, but you will never understand it. as long as the inconsistently applied double standard exists, the good good f*ckery as you call it will.
Ever VSS in here has a story of sleeping with a guy (whether on 1st, 10th or 100th date) and as soon as she does so – he disappears. Most VSS’s have a story of sleeping with a guy on the 1st date and it turning into an actual relationship.
Moral of the story: we never know what man is going to consider 1st date chex a ho-ish move until he’s leaving money on the nightstand (aka until it’s already done..i wish i knew how to do the strikethrough thingy).
sorry for typos. let’s try that again!
I understand your angst, but you will never understand our. as long as the inconsistently applied double standard exists, the good good f*ckery as you call it will.
Every VSS in here has a story of sleeping with a guy (whether on 1st, 10th or 100th date) and as soon as she does so – he disappears. Most VSS’s have a story of sleeping with a guy on the 1st date and it turning into an actual relationship.
Moral of the story: we never know what man is going to consider 1st date chex a ho-ish move until he’s leaving money on the nightstand (aka until it’s already done..i wish i knew how to do the strikethrough thingy).
HATE the good girl f*ckery that so many women subscribe to .
Let me go on record as saying I TOO HATE the good girl f*ckery that women subscribe. And I would like to suggest a post on such b.s. also. How about tomorrow?
I should have read the comments and know you were going to say something. Lol!
That f*ckery has got to stop!!! Gosh darn it! Women keep perpetuating that stupid same myth… If a ninja likes you, he’s going to like you. If he doesn’t, you can make him “wait” for 10 years and he still won’t like you… *shrugs*
Please do! This craziness of girls being separated in “good” vs “bad” based on some crazy scenarios written gazillion million years ago drive me nuts.
I would much rather focus on being a good and TRUE TO MYSELF person… rather than subscribe to someone’s idea of what a “good girl” is.
*smh*
“plus married people dont have any idea what the dating world is like. so while they can sympathise, they can’t empathize.”
Married people weren’t born all happy and married. They too were single, and dated, and dealt with the same shenanigans that current single folk deal with. #imjustsaying
For #5, is the caveat is that the person giving the advice is unhappy?? Because I give my best friend advice
only when she asks mebecause I have a father that is so very wise that instructs me.I always tell her I could be wrong b/c I have no relationship experience….
I know I be helpin!!!!….
(Did I use caveat correctly? Forgive me, I have a BFA)
Oh yeah, and I am/have been pleasantly content – I’m quite the opposite of unhappy.
“(Did I use caveat correctly? Forgive me, I have a BFA)”
This cracked me up.
Out of nosiness, what’s your BFA in Anastasia?
LOVE how said this: “women will take us back 98 percent of the time, so why should we learn.” Then, repeated for #4. LOL!
“Did he just tell average heffas to stay in their lane AFTER telling them how much men suck?”
That’s the same thing I asked!
“I’m convinced that the it wasn’t a serpent who misled Eve”
OR the serpent was female? …AH HA.
That Lyfe Jennings song is the worst. And now it’s in my head. Thanks Panama :/
Seriously though, do people actually like that sh*t?
the worst ain’t eeeem it… it is beyond bad. & does ANYONE know where he got those so-called statistics? I mean can you really just pull numbers from thin air and call em stats? I know you have an artisitic license, but for real? Ridiculous.
@Honey – its an odd song.mostly because, of the “don’t be a nickel looking for a dime” line. like he undoes all the “good will” he attempted to do in the verses. thing is, its the ultimate p*ssy pandering song. i’m gona tell you why men ain’t sh*t so maybe you’ll see that i am. i’ll be your comforter, i will make it right.
sh*t was worse than Reuben’s “sorry 2004″ song.
“sh*t was worse than Reuben’s “sorry 2004? song.”
No easy feat. I’m STILL waiting for “Sorry for Sorry 2004″ feat. Wacka Flocka Flame. *taps foot*
@Cheekie
I’m LMBO!!! Girl, you are too much for that one.
sh*t was worse than Reuben’s “sorry 2004? song .
That used to be my jam! Don’t jude. LOL
@V Renee – i never jude!!!!!
I’m a G, so I use it sparingly! Lol
Bringing up Lyfe Jennings makes me think of how much b*tcha$$ness he proved he possessed today by arguing with people I know and trying to prove a point. OVER TWITTER. UHMM. #FAIL.
Twitter fights hilarious…[thinks about the lupe-prolyfic fight earlier today]
Also, subtweets! Especially when someone tweets right after you tweeted and its a subtweet about your previous tweet.
^
Everytime I write something confusing, I imagine Phoebe from friends saying it and it makes me laugh.
YEAHH! That whole Lupe thing had me O.o faced. I know some straight coons because in June they were arguing with Lil Mo just to make her look as dumb as she ended up looking.
OMG! I had to deal with subtweets yesterday from a guy…that…let’s just say he’s scared of me and that ultimately makes me nauseous. I’m off topic now… oops. LOL.
that lupe prolyfic “fight” was at least interesting. and dude made good points though i dont find lupe interesting at all. but he might be right, lupe’s afraid of failure so he makes the safest songs possible. hell, even “superstar” was formulaic as hell. i liked it but it didnt move me one way or another.
lupe wins bc there’s so much crap out there, not really b/c he’s THAT good. dude can rap. but so can rick ross…and rick ross makes better albums.
I’ve never asked this about Lyfe Jennings in my…life…but, please tell me more. Details, thanks.
Basically Lyfe Jennings made a song, “Statistics,” outlining the so-called statistics of how many good Black men actually exist in society. It’s his “good advice” to women to “prevent” them from getting hurt. The AMAZING thing about Lyfe, however, is that he’s ALSO a statistic, considering he’s already been to prison. O.o
Here are some lyrics from the song:
[CHORUS]
25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can’t be faithful
30% of them don’t mean what they say
and 10% of them in maybe 20 is gay
That leaves you a 10% chance of ever finding your man
That means you never paid attention to these words that I said
I’m gonna teach you how expose the 90%
and show you what to do to keep the other 10.
RULE #1
Don’t be a booty call
If he don’t respect you girl he gon forget you girl
RULE #2
If he’s in a relationship
If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you
RULE #3
Tell him that you’re celibate
And if he wants some of your goodies he gon have to work for it
RULE #4
Be the person you wanna find
Don’t be a nickel out here lookin’ for a dime
STATISTICS!
15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men don’t practice safe sex
20% of them come from homes without a father
and there’s a 50/50 chance that you’ll marry a coward
Something to think about when you’re taking a shower
Something to swallow when you’re drinking bottled water
I’m gonna teach you how to expose the 90%
and show you what to do to keep the other 10
I hope there are no women out there really applying these statistics… I mean assuming all this is true he leaves out some vital information. Do any of these stats overlap? Does that mean that if my man is unfaithful that he’ll practice safe sex? O_o Do the 25% of men that are unstable overlap any of the 25% of complex-ridden reggins out here? I NEED ANSWERS LYFE!! -_-
& as a side note: I think that his RULE #3 is co-sign to all stuff the women have been saying about Panama’s Paradox 2.
@SoFlyy,
Exactly. I have not heard the song, and based on this.. I probably dont want to. lol.
no, no no…not the song. lol I meant the Twitter bullish. I (unfortunately) know alls about the song.
LOL! oh here is that whole story: http://www.mademonarchs.com/ it’s hilarious.
Bwhahahahahahahaha @ that song. I am seriously over here cracking up!
A big “Boy, Bye!” to Lyfe Jennings and that song….However, I’m with Cheeky *sipping Chai and crossing legs* in wanting to know the twitter dish/tea.
I’ve always maintained* that #5 is the single most retarded thing that human beings do.
*By “always maintained,” I mean that it may not be the most retarded thing, but it’s pretty damn high up there and I don’t feel like giving the subject any more thought.
“I’ve always maintained* that #5 is the single most retarded thing that human beings do”
Co-sign. I’m one of the only single people in my group of friends and I’m the one that everyone turns to for advice. I even tell them not to come to me, but they say that I give the best advice. I don’t get it…
Women give each other the WORSTTTTTT advice. I know guys probably give each other bad advice too, but I’m a woman, so I don’t know for sure. I just tell people to not listen to their girlfriends, my advice is take your own damn advice. When it comes to relationships people want validation, not advice, anyway. So, maybe I’ve had a few bad experiences…
I agree with everything on this list. Number 2 has an explanation, most woman, I would say don’t want the man they are interested in to think they are too promiscuous. This dudes opinion matters more to them than you know…some random dude who you’re not really feeling, so you would wait longer and make sure the relationship isn’t just about the physical stuff. Well, that is my theory, but I can’t explain why they women take back guys who have done them wrong.
On number 1, I tell everyone I meet my life story, so there is no excuse!!!
@The TalentedMs.Fiasco – Women give each other the WORSTTTTTT advice. I know guys probably give each other bad advice too, but I’m a woman, so I don’t know for sure. I just tell people to not listen to their girlfriends, my advice is take your own damn advice. When it comes to relationships people want validation, not advice, anyway. So, maybe I’ve had a few bad experiences…
the best thing most women could do is take all the advice their friends give them…and then ask a dude his opinion on their advice.
“When it comes to relationships people want validation, not advice, anyway.”
*nods* This is more true than not.
Panama, I see what you did in #5, mentioning both genders to seem all-inclusive then throwing single women under the bus for giving bad advice… You get tremendous side eye PLUS a smack of the lips for that one. o_O
Rather than duking it out over which gender gives out the worst advice, here are my two cents: I don’t think that a person’s opinion loses credibility because of their relationship status – male OR female. Advice given by either gender is colored by personal experience and the maturity/wisdom of the individual you’re seeking advice from. If you ask Baby Huey for advice, you’ll get ::crosseyed with a side of drool:: in return. Plus, it’s ADVICE. It’s meant to be interpreted in a way that makes sense for YOU and YOUR situation.
Since you started a dangerous single-woman-advice bashing session, I also have to say this: The advice I’ve been given by my closest single girlfriends has truly been invaluable. They’ve provided new perspectives, called me out on shit I needed to hear, and offered a shoulder to cry on when I bumped my head along the way.
::drops mike::
Your theory says that –>most women, I would say don’t want the man they are interested in to think they are too promiscuous.
but then those same women do this –> This dudes opinion matters more to them than you know…some random dude who you’re not really feeling, so you would wait longer and make sure the relationship isn’t just about the physical stuff.
Isn’t that the definition of “promiscuity”? I mean, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… If you are not ok with who you are, how do you expect to form a lifelong bond with someone else? I mean, can you accept your own self in all its glory, promiscuity et al, first and then impose that on someone else?
The idea that we have “representatives” and all that is in my opinion why most people feel so darn confused about relationship. How about being who you are and finding someone who actually likes who you are? Wouldn’t that be simpler?
Retarded relationship paradox? How ’bout, she sleeps with you and does stuff to you that you wouldn’t dare tell your mother, but when you ask her credit score or income, THAT’s too personal.
OMG ^^^^ @Caballeroso!!!
That is simultaneously the most hilarious and stupid ish people do. But I’ve realized for some people, chex isn’t intimate – sucking a d!ck is just that – putting in her mouth (in her muthaeffin moouuuth)
Bwahahaaa – Hilariouso!
CO-Sign this whole statement. Bumping uglies RAW is alot easier than letting your new SO hold your credit card
Hialrious and true lol
cosign.
LMAO!
@Caballeroso – i def think that qualifies, hombre. folks only have a problem tellng you the credit score if it sucks.
sh*t i wanted to get a tshirt that said, “i’m young, black, and my credit score is above 780″
see how i just told y’all i got good credit?
Bwahahaha! Word!!
There is a blog post about that in the archives somewhere… How women seem to value their pocketbook more than their lovepocket…
The number one retarded relationship paradox in my opinion is when an individual says “I want to take it slow” but then befriends the other person on facebook, myspace, twitter, linked in (and starts requesting recommendations…#fail), etc. How in the world can you take it slow and allow the relationship to unfold at a normal pace, when the other person has access to all of your information? Am I the only person that sees something wrong with this. If I’m just starting to date you your getting my email address and maybe cell number… probably not even my real name (I initialize, because “I’m kinda a big deal” j/k). I don’t need you to google map me or going to spokeo.com and finding my pics from undergrad… I’ll reveal what I want as time passes.
^ this.
eh, I’ll friend you, but I’ll work the hell out of the privacy controls.
lol, right?!
there is someone sitting in my Facebook purgatory right now (no access to pictures or my wall) I;m trying to keep my numbers up so i won’t defriend him.
I’ve always maintained that Facebook was the devil. you’re right. you cant take it slow delving headfirst into folks personal lives via facebook. heck, im thinking of killing my page cuz i just dont like everybody up in my business.
got exes from 12 years ago that actually tried to kill me trying to “friend” me on facebook. gtfoh.
DAMN YOU Panama!
I curse you because you totally called me out on #1 and #2.
*looking over my shoulder*
Great post.
@Resilience – thanks.
i’ve got my eye on you.
“Chicks will sleep with a dude they aren’t interested in but will hold out on a guy they actually like.”
Well, some of you so-called “good guys” just might get the tang early if you didnt fully subscribe to the Madonna/Whore complex. Yes, “good girls” have needs too, and theres nothing wrong with deriving fulfillment with another like-minded person. Doesnt make us less of a woman. Nor you, less of a man. Lets grow up people.
L
“theres nothing wrong with deriving fulfillment with another like-minded person. Doesnt make us less of a woman. Nor you, less of a man. Lets grow up people.”
@lola gets
I, Keisha Brown, officially endorse this statement. This message was brought to you by the letters T.R.U.T.H and the mark of exclamation!
@ lola gets, I e-luv u like a play cousin but I reject your theory like a Cleveland fan rejects a Miami Heat jersey signed by Lebron James reason being is that women control the flood gates to sex. They control when its gonna happen therefor they are charged with maintaining the sexual balance (of the universe and cant go out there and be givin’ it away all willy-nilly!).
P.S. Chances are even the guy that is getting the good stuff subscribes to the whole “Whore/Madonna” complex too.
P.S. Chances are even the guy that is getting the good stuff subscribes to the whole “Whore/Madonna” complex too.
@The Progression
Yeah, but the point is we probably aren’t trying to actually deal with him on a regular basis after sunrise, so his ideas don’t really matter much to us.
*kanye shrug
“They control when its gonna happen therefor they are charged with maintaining the sexual balance (of the universe and cant go out there and be givin’ it away all willy-nilly!”- Once again the paradoxical, whimsical double standard rears it’s ugly head …oh “contraire, mon frère “-sistas be doin it for themselves these days….or should be anyway *THIS TOO WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ANOTHER LE SIGH MOMENT*
“P.S. Chances are even the guy that is getting the good stuff subscribes to the whole “Whore/Madonna” complex too.”
There really is not combating this statement. But someone will:)
“P.S. Chances are even the guy that is getting the good stuff subscribes to the whole “Whore/Madonna” complex too.”
But, the point is, we don’t care. lol
With the good guy that women DO like, they care how they feel about him. But, I think more women need to subscribe to Champ’s theory that states it doesn’t matter how soon you sleep with a ninja, because if it DOES matter to him…he wasn’t all that into you in the first place.
I think we should just do what WE feel, instead of what we think society feels we should do.
CORRECTION – I meant to say “she cares how HE feels about her.”
Moving on… *whistles*
I think we should just do what WE feel, instead of what we think society feels we should do. .
I’d like to go ahead and co-sign this multiple times.
And I’d like to cosign your cosign…
Yeah, I thought I could be like this once and have myself a little fling, but I caught feelings. I believe the VSBs already had a post about that…
Anyway, now I don’t give it up quickly to ANYONE and my new relationship paradox would be that “nice” guys vanish when there’s no sex, just like “bad” guys. Le sigh, indeed.
Girl …-”“nice” guys vanish when there’s no sex, just like “bad” guys. Le sigh, indeed.”…..SADLY one more coemeffin sign and I raise your Le sigh to the 44th power *
***Anyway, now I don’t give it up quickly to ANYONE and my new relationship paradox would be that “nice” guys vanish when there’s no sex, just like “bad” guys. Le sigh, indeed.****
Can we have a moment of silence for all the VSSs that are saving the goodies for the right guy (husband, ltr or just not the third date)?
ALL together now…..LE SIGH!!!!!!
***Anyway, now I don’t give it up quickly to ANYONE and my new relationship paradox would be that “nice” guys vanish when there’s no sex, just like “bad” guys. Le sigh, indeed.****
Can we have a moment of silence for all the VSSs that are saving the goodies for the right guy (husband, ltr or just not the third date)?
ALL together now…..LE SIGH!!!!!!
i cant sigh deeply or loudly enough.
why are we constantly dammed if we do and dammed if we dont?
i’ve written this 4 times on 3 different blogs in the last 24!!
ugh.
@OC,
co-sign.
@Keisha,
I think we are far from derned when keeping it…
drama free, never worried if the curse shows up a little late, disease free…yeah, I’m soooo solid waiting. Plus surprisingly, the last couple guys I told “no dice, prolly ever” (not ever-ever, but …til I find a fitting ring) responded “that’s dope” or “finally”. Game? Possibly. Did they stick around? Yeah, but I recognized that they would be better as friends, for totally unrelated reasons. It was still rather surprising, in a pleasant way.
How about this as a rule: “date people who actually like you”… Because if they really do, s3x stops being an end result and instead becomes a tool to enhance the relationship…
I don’t think the whole “nice” guys disappear as much as “bad” guys do is quite true… It’s moreso “guys who don’t care all that much about you” will disappear when the thing they are looking for is not presented (could be s3x, could a warm meal, could be arm candy… You name it)
“my new relationship paradox would be that “nice” guys vanish when there’s no sex, just like “bad” guys. Le sigh, indeed”
this gave me life!!! Co-sign!!!!!
@lola gets – and theres nothing wrong with deriving fulfillment with another like-minded person. Doesnt make us less of a woman. Nor you, less of a man. Lets grow up people.
i and most guys i know would probably agree with this. i think its women who get more caught up in the perception of it all then guys do. like i said up thread if you act like a ho then you get treated like one. sleeping with a guy doesnt mean you acted like a ho.
asking me to put you in straps and piss on you two days after meeting…THAT might make me question you.
Agreed. uhhhh, I am a woman though. Anyhow, you either are, or you aren’t. And I think men have a pretty keen hoedar.
Plus, I see a lot of women saying, they don’t give it up quickly to the prospect, because they don’t want him to think them loose…
that implies that you ARE in fact loose with daddy LS across the way. Soooo, you’re deceiving the other guy. Nothing wrong with do that, if that’s what you’re on at the time, but don’t hold back because you do what you usually do might make him look at you some kinda way. That sounds a lil…not retarded but…hmmm like a very illogical train of thought. Downstring I commented that I operated that way for a brief period back in the day(“clown suit”). but even then, my reasoning was just a lil different. That doesn’t make it any better, I’m just saying, DO YOU. A real impression of who you are is what you should give to everyone. And who you are shouldn’t waiver too much pending on audience.
Here is where all the AMENS should be!
And this –>Plus, I see a lot of women saying, they don’t give it up quickly to the prospect, because they don’t want him to think them loose…
that implies that you ARE in fact loose with daddy LS across the way is what most of those women should be pondering… Are you ok with being you? If not, working on it a little bit first and then go out there in the world. And that applies to everybody, not just women.
LOL @ the Lyfe Jennings comment…but this is on point as usual
@Eazy – thanks homes…
how’s the new album coming? (and i’m not joking people, i’m not making an Eazy E joke…dude really is a rapper…lol). i listened to your “the public speaker” album and its pretty good homes.
Firstly, I’m back(yes I have not posted for several weeks etc but I see no point once there are already 250+ comments smh)
I would also like to add a few more ideas to this list of “Retarded Relationship Paradoxes”:
1. Women who say I’m taking a break from dudes, but a week, a few days, hell five minutes after this statement when the traditional aint shit ninja (a.s.n.) yells “Ayo b*tch” (my personal A.S.N. favorite) she is all of a sudden ready to jump back in the dating game.
2. Attractive women with ugly, broke, non intelligent, A.S.N.
3. The “I’ve got a man”, even though she doesn’t women , who will probably go out later with her friends and complain about how much she never meets anyone worth her time.
Hey maybe its just me…
I vote that we add “aint shit ninja (a.s.n.)” to the glossary ***LOVE IT
I second. All for say Nay…
**** I see now why I’m in moderation…I shoulda used the * instead of copying & pasting…dangit…
@Brklyn2Chi – Firstly, I’m back(yes I have not posted for several weeks etc but I see no point once there are already 250+ comments smh)
do you also not VOTE once you see too many people in line!!!!!! ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
lol
@ Panama Jackson- do you also not VOTE once you see too many people in line!!!!!! ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
The sad true is yes, I do walk away if I see to many people in line. It’s what happened in the last Governors election, and what continues to happen on a daily basis. Just this morning I bypassed the drive-thru at McDonalds in favor of Burger King, because the line was to long.
Walks away with head still held high… LOL
yes, yes and yes.
1.
too funny, and sooooo terribly true.
When I realized that coming off as a good guy would disqualify me from the draws, I developed a dual nature when it comes to women. To some of them I appear good, while to others I am mysterious and bad. More men should seek to pull this maneuver off.
^^@ Dash
I call it being trained in the ways of the Jedi…
Yoda should write a book.
@Dash
Interesting… I kinda like this. One question though, do you play w/ 2 women at the same time? While you are getting to know the wifey material (not necessarily exclusively dating) and appearing angelic, are you out giving back shots to Tywanisha & ‘nem? Cuz a little downthread Humble_One is giving it to the ladies (and not in a good way) for their jedi mind trix. Apparently men talk… therefore coming off in two different lights is not acceptable.
Everyone comes off in different lights to different people. I just make an effort to profit from the various lights. Even good guy Dash does not come off as an angel. I generally play the field, and I am very up front about, as their is no need to lie. My man-prime will not last forever, and getting tied up with one prospect at a time at this point would not be proper use of a very limited resource. I have technically never “played” multiple women. If a relationship is not official, and I am stingy with titles, being played can not take place. .
I guess ‘played’ isn’t the right word. I don’t want to allude to you cheating or anything. I understand the role and the being viewed differently to different people. I guess all I’m asking is it okay that she does the same as you… coming off sweet & innocent to Dash b/c she likes you — and a wild banshee to Tyrone & Af.
Being unnecessarily phony will get her docked points. I am easily offended, and one of the easiest ways to offend me is pretend to be perfect. There is no need to excessively front at the beginning of a relationship.
Getting dug out is not a deal breaker because women have needs, but I do judge women based on their partner choices. If she sleeps with curs, I will come to think she is flea-bitten.
i
I assume the “three Chinamen” line is why there are Google ads for “Asian Marriage” and “Vietnam Girls.” For sh*ts and giggles, I clicked them both. But anyway…
#1 – I usually see people do the opposite, especially when it’s a case of the best friend sleeping with the girl/boyfriend. People are only mad at the friend, since they should be held to a higher standard since they have more loyalty to one another
#3-#4 – I have no idea why girls are so quick to take a triflin guy back. After witnessing so many of my friends’ do this, I think I’ve learned to overcompensate and drop a guy too quick. Oh, well.
#5 – Reminds me of the fat gym teacher always trying to crack on people for being out of shape.
“I assume the “three Chinamen” line is why there are Google ads for “Asian Marriage” and “Vietnam Girls.” For sh*ts and giggles, I clicked them both. But anyway…”
lol, Google is a trip with the way they swipe the most random things from the content to post ads. I guess the randomness is fitting since it’s a P post.
Women get bad advice from other women because they never tell the whole story… Best believe in a “girlllll he tripping” conversation that no one is pointing out their flaws. Don’t worry, I’ll wait. One sided relationship questions will get one sided and misguided advice. every. single. time.
Exactly!
EXCELLENT point. So true
EXCELLENT point. So true
nodding head…
Write that book now great woman. These truths need to be shared.
yeah….that’s real. and it sucks when you have to own up to the one-sidedness of your complaints so that you can be with the guy in peace (read: without your friends and family giving you constant side-eye) once you realize he that he wasn’t 100% wrong and you weren’t 100% right afterall. #gottagogrowupandstoptellinallmybusiness
@Naturally Alise – that is some honesty for that azz. why more people dont acknowledge this.
cuz real talk….every time i talk to my boys about a chick trippin…i always get the, “so wait ninja, what did YOU do?” lol. i hate that question..but you got to be honest…
You are TELLING it right nah.
“Women get bad advice from other women because they never tell the whole story”
Exactly!! This is slightly off topic, but it applies. I was watching the Real Housewives of Jersey and it was the episode after no forehead chick chased down the other crazy broad (Danielle) at the charity thingamajig. In the episode, short forehead was telling her husband how everything went down, and I told my friend “I love how the story changes depending on who she’s recounting it to.” She left out criticial details which clearly would have painted her involvement in a different light. People do this ALL the time when talking to others. Bits and pieces of the story get added in or taken out. Critical pieces.
“So let’s get to the point: relationships, while fun, are also a the source of so many retarded rules and “ironic” aha moments…”
I think this is what’s fueling my ambivalence towards relationships right now. Watching people who are together but do nothing but go back and forth over the most trivial ish is like a bunch of aha moments on constant loop. Case in point…
Being @ my mom’s house this weekend and watching her and
my stepdadher husband argue about some damn juice for 2 hours *cue Kevin Hart*Him drinking your expensive azz organic juice and not replacing it is about a whoooole lot more. Uh boo, you know he was fiscally challenged before you married him, so why are you now expecting him to be pulling his share financially and cutting the fool and ish when he doesn’t?
and
People not saying what they really need in hopes that you will read their mind and do the opposite. One of my friends gets upset when her triflin
boyfriendboocut buddy lies to her and she gets her feelings all hurt. Um, hun, yall aren’t in a relationship remember? Yall just chexin. So why are you putting relationship expectations on this nigra and acting all dissappointed when he doesn’t follow thru?I’m just realizing I’on feel like bein bothered right now. And watching these paradoxes & dumb azz rules play out just makes it easier for me to chill on the sidelines right now.
@i’ll give it a try – People not saying what they really need in hopes that you will read their mind and do the opposite.
this should have been #1. i HATE that so many folks expect you to read their mind. hell i’m not immune to it, i’ve done it before too. and its caused beaucoup problems.
@ “Uh boo, you know he was fiscally challenged before you married him, so why are you now expecting him to be pulling his share financially and cutting the fool and ish when he doesn’t?”
—Sounds like Halle and her babydaddy—-
#2…really PJ, really?
yea, I guess ur right… :-/
Its prolly cuz we look at “King” as an expendable solution. King is easy…a male jump off. On the other hand, Derrick is a challenge. He has his ‘ish’ together and is an asset. So instead of playing games w/ Derrick we take our time…Im just guessing.
@lola289 – yep. chick logic.
Although#2 is a paradox; I think it’s a wise move. I don’t care how many rebuttals I hear to this argument, I don’t think you should give it up to a guy you like (even if you’re on the fence about it). S3x confuses thangs. I wasn’t born with that “hit and quit it” gene, but if I was I’d probably only hold out on the ones I was definitively lukewarm about. But, like I said waiting is wise if your heart is connected to your vajj.
Love,
your neighborhood church lady
“But, like I said waiting is wise if your heart is connected to your vajj.”
I am bajanflchick & I admit it, my heart is connected to my vajj
XcoemeffinsignX
oops…i meant to say “I would probably only PUT OUT to the ones that I was definitively lukewarm about.”
I’m tired. I was up with an 18 month old until 3am. Yep, I
stole a babyhosted a little family last night who was too tired to get back on the road to new york.@ Miss Patterson
waiting is wise if your heart is connected to your vajj.
Is this appropriate for a tshirt? If so, I can order a size L in purple?
Thanks.
I’d like a medium… thanks!
I would like one in Pink if possible…. and I will take a L as well love this
@Miss Patterson – I don’t care how many rebuttals I hear to this argument, I don’t think you should give it up to a guy you like (even if you’re on the fence about it).
dumbest.sh*t.ever.
I don’t think the paradox that Panama mentions has to do with not withholding… It’s about giving it up early to 1guy and not to another… That makes such person a phony AND promiscuous by all definitions of that term..
If someone withholds with everybody, then the person is being consistent with themselves and has not fallen into the paradox…
It’s the ones who “pretend” that are questionable…
And Sula gets the cookie. You understand.
Therefore it is said:
Who understands the Way seems foolish;
Who progresses on the Way seems to fail;
Who follows the Way seems to wander.
For the finest harmony appears plain;
The brightest truth appears coloured;
The richest character appears incomplete;
The bravest heart appears meek;
The simplest nature appears inconstant.
The square, perfected, has no corner;
Music, perfected, has no melody;
Love, perfected, has no climax;
Art, perfected, has no meaning.
The Way can be neither sensed nor known:
It transmits sensation and transcends knowledge.
Water overcomes the stone;
Without substance it requires no opening;
This is the benefit of taking no action.
Yet benefit without action,
And experience without abstraction,
Are practiced by very few.
Health or reputation: which is held dearer?
Health or possessions: which has more worth?
Profit or loss: which is more troublesome?
Great love incurs great expense,
And great wealth incurs great fear,
But contentment comes at no cost.
For who knows when to stop
Does not continue into danger,
And so may long endure.
Great perfection seems incomplete,
But does not decay;
Great abundance seems empty,
But does not fail.
Great truth seems contradictory;
Great cleverness seems stupid;
Great eloquence seems awkward.
As spring overcomes the cold,
And autumn overcomes the heat,
So calm and quiet overcome the world.
yep. ?
*WIM Crew- (y’all know who you are ) Please note the shoutout***”they can also be as non-sensical and confusing as three Chinamen watching Black Dynamite translated into patois”- and for this Panama we are grateful…:-) now, on to the bidness at hand…Lyfe Jennings-I ain’t really tryin to hear him, he spent some time in da big house, so ummm, Ion’t know his advice is no bueno…as far as the rest of the ish on the list pretty much all on point and #3 and #4 sad but true dammit…we gotta do better it’s just a vicious cycle I tell ya, y’all keep effin up & we keep takin you back, but on a personal note – I’m goin to see my spiritual advisor/psychiatrist/Obia woman to see if I can get this resolved immediately * Carry On
*WIM member checkin in.
*throws up 2finger gun salute
*saunters out.
What is a WIM…i need to know. I know it’s good if it has bajan and KB in it.
If you can’t disclose here, then let me know on Twitter what it stands for KB
**sidebar…I heart Nickerz for forcing encouraging me to sign up with Twitter!
*WIM=West Indian Massive , you so silly***
@Jai
yay to you being on the twitter!
WIM = West Indian Massive. aka vsb commenters of west indian heritage.
@ Bajan & KB…I am not a WIM but I can be a groupie…when you guys are typing I try to understand the dialogue and make some sense of it until it makes my head hurt. I then give up and commence to drink my liquid crack (McDonald’s Mocha Frappe…geezus)!!!
@Jai,
We’re a very welcoming group. I mean sometimes Guyana is repped during Caribana..and they are TECHNICALLY in South America!!
*waits as people go google the location of Guyana.
and i love yu back!!
Lol..
buk buk buk [shouted while jumping on one foot, one hand in the air]
sorry.. had to do it, just back from my family reunion in jamrock
I was just gonna say…since when chinaman don’ speak patois? dem speak hard nuh true? *rows off in boat*
*bwahahahahah @SFG- and @Keisha…that whole Guyana thing always gets folks shook…@Jai- gotdam crack posin as frappe…..I know the troof.
@bajan:
and the thing that kills me..they have the audacity to get vex when you point that out! like if you are reppin your country SO hard..shouldn’t you know where it’s GEOGRAPHICALLY located?
#imjussayin.
but it’s also no diff than certain black folk tryin to fake being jamaican.
#3 is the truth..
dude i was dating got busted. i mean some, “is this Nick? well let me tell you something.” call me at my house type of busted. Then wondered why i didn’t wanna talk to him from a couple weeks. Excuse me, WHAT!? i do NOT believe that your horse suddenly realized that you had a happy home (in my barn) and has now decided to keep it’s behind home.. not only that, but when we DID talk, it’s like he wanted some sort of clean slate.. Umm.. I was born AT night not LAST night..
#4 we were all young and stupid once, so yeah i took him back. but then gets mad because i don’t trust him. What do you MEAN you don’t trust me?”
“umm dude, what do YOU mean!?”
Lord have mercy.. get outta here with that…
i’m sorry.. those are the only two i can co-sign.. but then again, it’s been a while so maybe i forgot several of the things i’ve done.. i’m over 30 now, so my B.S. meter is finely honed..
my new motto: “i ain’t got that kinda time” (i say it cute too)
tryin to make it work after you cheated? “sweetie, i ain’t got that kinda time”
wanna date 4 years before you call this a relationship? “i ain’t got that kinda time..”
wanna wait some time before we go zip lining, “i ain’t got that kinda time..”
I’ve seen people pull the (what I call) “the Springer special.” it’s where the dude gets caught cheating and the girlfriend wants to fight the other woman.. the other woman is usually lookin like “GIRL, he lied to Boff of us!! why you pullin out MY weave!?!?” i never understood the springer special…
(why did i wake up at 5-something?”
unrelated news: why do people walk their dog, see him do #2-10 and then think it’s alright for the dog to hop on the bed and chill?? #waitWHAT?!
(sorry, morning questions..)
Nick- it is written today…my new motto: “i ain’t got that kinda time”- I am officially asking “can I hold this”, you know how folks ask that ish all the time about ish they shouldn’t be asking for, anyways, I digress- I am borrowing this & inserting it into my lexicon as well , please and thank you
“my new motto: “i ain’t got that kinda time” (i say it cute too)
tryin to make it work after you cheated? “sweetie, i ain’t got that kinda time…wanna date 4 years before you call this a relationship? “i ain’t got that kinda time..”
@ Nickerz,
3 snaps in a z formation! You summed that up quite perfectly. If I would have recognized the value of my time earlier in relationships, I could have saved myself the drama that came later.
All the younger VSS’s should pull up chair to the seat of our older sistren and soak up as much knowledge as possible. #sharingiscaring
Ooo yes!… now THIS “I ain’t got that kinda of time” has offiSHALLY been nominated and elected for a T-Shirt…
I’ll have mine in a medium.
*******T-shirts for e’rrybody today *******
id like a crispy and clean white t. fitted.
See, cheating is not a dealbreaker for me. Never has been. I don’t always let folks know this when I’m dating them because I’m not trying to give license to get it in with the broad at the club with the yellow dress you met last night. Naw homie…
But, the LYING that comes with cheating is the dealbreaker for me. Although, lately I think I’ve been regressing in my b.s. tolerance. Almost like I can tolerate more b.s. because I’m focused on other things and his side eye to the chick at the bar means nothing to me. *kanye shrug* Maybe I’m not invested enough to get all “Springer special” on folks…or maybe I just know that if he doesn’t want to do right, someone else will.
Anyway, all that to say I can co-sign on women taking back dudes who do dirt. Until recently, I hadn’t been there or done that, but now, sadly, I’m part of the club.
Sigh…
question(s) for you…what happens when you take them back? if cheating is not a deal-breaker and you take them back…what is to stop them from doing it again? what separates you from the next girl? i am not a man, but i know enough of them to know that they want somebody to hold them accountable for their actions. i forgot which said it, but either PJ or Champ said that a man cheat because he wants to and he won’t cheat if he doesn’t want to (don’t quote me on that).
so many questions
It was the Champ…last week I member that , cause it was so em effin true…
You know what tho… dat cheater question is a good one cause I’m not (I don’t think, haven’t dealt with that isht yet but) the type that would trip if a dude got some head or banged a chik real quick if he just told me upfront about it and didn’t hide it from me… the lying kills me… but then, how would I get him to stop? Like I want dude to be honest when he fouls-up but he needs to know there ain’t gon be no “aw well last time I was drunk, dis time…” NINJA WHAT!?!
I hear you.. and to each their own.. but literally…
iCant
I HATE lying, so i understand your issue with it there..
my other motto: “nothing in my personal life should feel like work..”
this is a relationship.. i’m not gonna punch a time clock and take on a 2nd job to try and keep his peen at home.. investigating and checking and asking.. and making sure.. it’s too much work for something that i “choose” to be in.. my free time needs to be as drama free as possible.. at least if i encounter drama at work, i get paid for it… drama in a relationship= an angry nick=a lonely dude…
Yuh huh… I feel you. I’m often told I have a fairy veiw on how love should be because I feel it should be effortless… a safe haven. I ain’t tryin to be all stressed in no d@mn relationship… I got bills for dat. Why shouldn’t it be easy (for the most part)?
@Yeah…So- I too live in the fairy tale world and believe that I ain’t tryin to be stressed either, sad thing is IT AIN’T EVER EASY….and @ Nick-absolutely “nothing in my personal life should feel like work “, but my question now becomes *wheredeydodatat?
@Bajan
this could possibly be the reason why my circle is kept so tight..
If you’re not family (meaning that i HAVE to react with you) then a “drama friend or boyfriend” i do NOT need..
i have maybe 2 good girlfriends..and 2 good guy friends..
#NuffSaid
in this instance “drama” is not to be confused with “a bad day”. i can see you through a bad day.. but drama (and consistent drama) is a NO NO..
Precisely because a man cheats because he wants to and doesn’t because he doesn’t want to, I worry about neither. Because for every man who I date who decides to cheat and lie to cover it up (there has only been one, for the record), there are more out there who decide not to and aren’t into those types of games.
I guess what I’m saying is that we all have urges. I do. As someone who understands how that look at the club could turn into banging on the bathroom floor (Shaggy) I get that you can allow yourself to get caught in the moment and it mean nothing more. But….because I understand how that type of stuff happens, I keep my behind out of situations where temptation is prevalent. I expect my man to do the same, but if he doesn’t and things happen and HE tells me (not his boys, the girl, or the grapevine) and he’s truly remorseful, we might be able to work it out.
Sex is just that…sex. But, if he’s getting it in and wining and dining her, all behind my back, it’s a no-go because he’s a liar and I can’t trust him. What he did with her does not matter one bit to me. What he did with her and then came back and told me that wasn’t truthful is the nail in the coffin every time.
Hope that made sense.
Nick I heart you. I aint got that kinda time. Yes, amen….and dogs in the bed? only in America.
Good morning. I’m just adding my 2 cents. PJ those first three paragraphs were hard to read. Although “After accounting for personal biases and f*cked up family histories plus the square root of the insane relationship drama that’s already occurred, its a wonder anybody manages to get into relationships at all nowadays” is a poignant statement.
Also I love the picture, as a engineer that works with roadways I’ve seen a few signs almost that confusing.
1. We hold people me met two months ago to a higher standard with our emotions than we do somebody we’ve known for ten years.
- I have no answer for this.
2. Chicks will sleep with a dude they aren’t interested in but will hold out on a guy they actually like.
-This is simple…women don’t care what the random dude thinks. If he thinks we’re a whore, oh well. But we care about what the dude we like thinks cuz we want a relationship. And y’all ain’t wifing no loose women.*
Also if we’ve decided that we’re not interested it should be easier to keep emotions out of the equation** conversely if we’re already feeling you the emotions are definitely in play.
*I don’t know thus personally but it made sense to me
** we all know this doesn’t work.
3. Guys (my brothers my brothers) will expect women to believe we instantly change…a solid 2 minutes after doing the very thing that caused a woman to not want to deal with us.
-I don’t understand this at all and it bothers me. You just found him in bed with binquesha on Friday and he talking bout he changed on Saturday and y’all back together in church Sunday morning. WTHeck??? I’on get it
I recently had to convince a girlfriend that her trifling ex hadn’t changed. They broke up less than a year ago, but he’s a whole new person now. Ummm hmm I didn’t believe it coming from his momma and I for d@mn sure wasn’t believing it from her. Anyway, he slipped back into his old habits thankfully this time she bailed before anything happened.
4. Women will take us back 98 percent of the time.
I have no explanation for this other than we are loving, forgiving, nurturing creatures.
5. Men and women take advice from their single and unhappy friends…because they’re available to give advice instead of happily boning somebody.
Yeah women get this often, but men are guilty of this as well. I mean you wouldn’t take financial advice from a broke person, weight loss tips from a obese person, career advice from the died in wendys, etc…
“but men are guilty of this as well.”
^So true! Some men will take advice form their guy friend who they know cheats, has commitment issues, doesn’t think highly of or respect women.
#2 is the absolute TRUTH! Man, iv’e been saying this very statement damn near verbatim for the last decade plus.
I swear many women have an @$$ backwards way of approaching relationships. This logic is the most insanely retarded logic of all time. The same holds true with their expectations as well. If ur a nice guy, their expectations of you are higher. But Tyrone gets a pass, cause they dont expect much from him….so he gets away with all types of fcukery.
#3 is the truth as well. Good Tuesday post.
@Mr SoBo
So does this mean you think that it should be the converse… that as a woman, if I’m feeling you, I should be free to give it up to you whenever I so please? Are you saying you won’t have the Madonna/Whore complex projected on me b/c I chose to let the chips fall where they may? I think a lot of women hold back not because it makes perfect sense… but b/c they’d rather not have judgment passed on them by a man they like. & In a way, if you heart is connected to your vajj as Miss Patterson so delicately put it then it does make sense. I don’t wanna give it to you and then you take it for granted.
“I don’t wanna give it to you and then you take it for granted.” So Tyrone gets to take you for granted but, because I’m nice, and therefore might try to treat you right, you suspect I’ll take you for granted?
Even if I have the Madonna/Whore complex, how does delaying our “interaction” interfere? If you are feeling me to the point where you are comfortable enough for us to go there, you’ve probably already shown me you can be a lady in the streets, I need to see that you’re a freak on the sheets…yeah, O’ let’s do it.
I can’t speak for other nice guys, but if I’m feeling you, and you break me off something proper-like, I’ll be feeling you even more (Double entendre’), but if I wasn’t feeling you to begin with, I still may take you for granted…just like Tyrone.
Chances are, if you’ve truly determined me to be a nice guy, I’m probably not the type to take you for granted. Nothing is guaranteed, but I think your chances of not being taken for granted are better with Mr. Nice guy than with Ty. Mr. Nice guy will probably appreciate you more for not taking HIM for granted because he’s a nice guy, which sets you apart from all all the others- and when a nice guy is gettin’ it in, he’ll be back!
I see you… I understand that Ty is quite possibly taking it for granted. I think the thing that most women think is that when it comes to Tyrone, it doesn’t matter. He may think he’s got in the bag or I’m easy, but he’s not fukn me I’m fukn him. Tyrone ain’t got no job or aspirations in life, all he has is a lethal stroke game. #shrugs
Personally, I’m a go w/ the flow type of individual. If (big ole’ if) I’m comfortable enough and like you enough to go there, then we probably will. No doubt we will have talked about how we feel, what we want, etc. already. So if we are on the same wavelength… I don’t think I’d be an obstruction to justice.
@SoFlyy
I have always understand the mindset behind why women give Ty the goods willy nilly, but makes ‘the nice guy’ wait. It is about perception, the fear of judgement, and control.
The perception is the downfall of this logic.
As you pointed out above, the attitude is that she doesnt care about Ty, because he is just a tool. He’s not fcking her, she’s fcking him. Unfortunately, thats just spin talk. The reality is that she is just a tool for him. She’s getting fcked. You’re presonal feelings for the brotha have nothing to do with it.
This is why the logic is flawed. Once feelings enter the equation, the perception changes. The act remains the same, yet the association changes completely. Its no longer, “I’m fcking Tyrone”. It becomes, “I’m feeling Tyrone and desire more from him”. If Tyrone refuses to allow the relationship to develop, you start to feel used and taken advantage of. Then your thought process is that Tyrone is just fcking you.
You see how perception is a muthaf*cka? Unfortunately, perception has women deluded and fooling themselves into believing they are in control of a situation, when in reality they are not.
Regarding casual s*xual relationships, guys always win. Always. So much for just fcking Tyrone.
The reality is that she is just a tool for him. She’s getting fcked.
I get where you are going… I really do. And I understand why this is a never-ending debate… But why is it that Tyrone’s perception is the winning one and her’s isn’t? If she has no feelings for him, then it stands to reason she doesn’t want anything more from him.
How come your example isn’t Tyrone wanting a relationship w/ her but she ain’t having it… then the act is her fukn him.
& this “Unfortunately, perception has women deluded and fooling themselves into believing they are in control of a situation, when in reality they are not.” is why women are *le sighing* all over this board. Because men control the perception of how we are judged in our sexuality… We are d@mned if we do (the nice guy — cuz then we’re wh0res) and d@mned if we don’t (cuz then we’re holding out). So someone please tell me what we’re supposed to do…
But why is it that Tyrone’s perception is the winning one and her’s isn’t? Because men control the perception of how we are judged in our sexuality”.
Bingo. You just answered your own question. This is societal.
However, biology plays a HUGE role in this patriarichal perception as well. The mechanics of s*x as well as human reproduction dictates that males are destined to come out the winner everytime.
S*xual Mechanics – women are the receivers(always).
Reproduction – women conceive and carry offspring(always).
A woman should always know who her child belongs to.
As far as what are you supposed to do? Well, you do what makes you happy, whatever that may be. Live the life you love.
Just be mindful that whatever makes you laugh now, may be the very thing that ends up making you cry later.
So when in doubt, just give the goodies to the nice guys. Why? Cause at 25+ years of age, we all know it will be him you want to be with and not Tyrone.
If a guy “ain’t got no job or aspirations in life, all he has is a lethal stroke game”…just how does a women ever come into contact long enough to decide yea he can get it?
I’m 34, havent bagged an unemployed go no where chick, with the good gushy since 25 or so.
She aint gotta be a MIT grad but I dont go for the non-ambition chick, some think my time with them justifies her decisions (to be non responsible jerks).
She thinks despite the several different BD’s and no education theres no difference between her and shorty her age with no kids and a Masters.
I cant see where a guy that never leaves the block could even get the time of a women making moves and doing her thing.
I can see given it up to the lower level men in her profession but to a total loser-quickly that would make me think about her way more than if she screwed me quickly.
So while I shoot four videos over three days you out here screwing a dude that can only read on a tenth grade level. Cool, go in but if I do find out then live with the fact I think thats a dumb move.
Again for me if I do screw a chick that I ant feeling like that , she more or less is a good chick, some education beyond high school and somewhat progressive.
But Nayquanna and nem , a D short of GED, with the guts, outta shape 27 going on 65, chain smoking newports-on the bench in the summer at 12p yet finds ways into ghetto clubs and thinks she sexy cuz she cant freak a dancehall move with shades on…I’ll pass.
Oh and losers, both genders-in most cases all they have is their sex.
@temps/eny films
I was waiting for someone else to say this, ’cause I didnt want to go there with homegirl’s response. But I cosign.
i think the thing is that sometimes women think we are not smart or intuitive at all. we are going to pass judgement if we are with you and we ever run into tron the block king, he seems like a low-life, and he lets off the air that he has been there….and it was “easy.” an attentive man will be able to tell just by how tron approaches.
i say this because i have been the @sshole that ran into the belt notch out with her boo….and I am sure my approach said I had been there with out much effort. the women i respected because they cared about my respect i always approach them an their boos with the respect the relationship i had with them required.
many men (mature men) can handle knowing you’ve got it in without being in love. we just dont want to come face to face with the guy you gave it to who sees you as an easy piece of @zz. we want to believe he does not exist.
you may not care what he thinks about you but if we respect you and want to think of you as special (and I am sure you want to feel special) we do. might not seem fair but hey…..it’s sort of the nice guy finishing last thing; it is what it is.
@Dave
What I realized is that some women chez any dude she is attracted too. Common sense should tell you that your future or current girl got it in with a dude casually. I’ve had women that would spend money or go waaaay out of their way for me but wouldn’t let me hit. After a while I appreciated that while ‘Gutta Black’ can hit she is not spending money and cooking for h lime she does for you.
“After a while I appreciated that while ‘Gutta Black’ can hit she is not spending money and cooking for h lime she does for you.”
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
But you do realize that’s a bottom b*tch mentality.
It’s like a chick that stays with a cheating man. “Hey, he may be f*cking her, but he comes home to me” type attitude.
I hear you on the acceptance that your woman will have a past. I agree with this. But I would also like to know that the woman i wife up didnt spend the majority of her days as a stunt.
I would rather her been the respected girlfriend of 100 doods, than the stunt of 100 doods. It all boils down to the respect as Dave pointed out.
mr sobo, i right with you my dude. ill take it even further.
id rather her sleep with 100 dudes who actually respect her womanhood than 10 gutta blacks that could ever approach her and call her a stunt.
@Sobo you got it….we cannot let ourselves be the stunt double. It’s not about what you expect from Tyrone. It’s what you expect from yourself. *scratching chin* does that make sense? I’m high off nyquil but what I’m saying is, set standards for yourself. Say you wouldn’t give for free to anyone…and all men judge us, even tyrone. I lost my point (am I in the matrix?) POINT IS: we can’t do what men do and free chexing makes guys not respect us period.
casual is cool humble one. respectfully is even better, dont you think?
and i dont know my dude….gutta is getting the po and i am getting steak and rice and a few dollars?
hmmmmmm…..sounds like the friend zone to me. ive got steaks and stacks. we are different there homie.
@Dave & Mr. SoBo
I see I was slightly misunderstood. The women that looked out for me I never got in a relationship with b/c of how they got down. I accepted where I stood with them and rolled with it. I said casual sex with dudes. Not that she was out here being Pinky. I’m not committing with a woman that didn’t respect herself. Maybe it’s the women I’ve been cool with or have met but more than likely a woman (especially 25 and older) has had sex with a few guys outside of a relationship. Not to say she was letting any Joe Schmoe hit but she got it in with a few guys and she wasn’t in a relationship.
@ Humble_One
LOL @ pinky.
“I’m not committing with a woman that didn’t respect herself.”
And that right there, is the point. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman having a past. That is absolutely A-Okay in my book.
It is the level of respect she established (or didnt establish) throughout her past that is the concern.
To echo Dave’s sentiment, casual is fine. However, respectfully casual is better.
In other words, I would rather most men in my woman’s past when speaking about her to his homies say something to the effect of, “Yeah, we used to be involved”, or “yeah we used to do our thang”. Not, “Yeah, I used to bang that b*tch out all the time. She’s a chickenhead. A jump off. I used to have her kissing her kneecaps”.
I hope you can appreciate the difference.
that as a woman, if I’m feeling you, I should be free to give it up to you whenever I so please?
I think it should be that as a woman, you should feel free and secure enough to do what seems appropriate for YOU to do… not what some random dude should think… and shouldn’t a guy you like, like you just the way you are?
It just blows my mind that this type of thinking is still so prevalent… Are my girlfriends and I living on an island or something?
But Tyrone gets a pass, cause they dont expect much from him
men are the exact opposite bcuz they will wife Patron’icia w/the 6 kids with 6 (possibly
different daddies, who lives in the projects, with no job, who collects benefits all day while watching Maury bcuz she has a donk and give ‘brain so good you woulda swore she went to college’ (TI)
Naw Jai, they don’t wife Patroni’icia (chuckle)…they cheat with her. They marry the right girl and cheat with the wrong girl. They won’t talk about that though.
@SFG
I will neither confirm nor deny your opinion/observation.
They marry the right girl and cheat with the wrong girl..
I’ve seen it happen too many times. Therefore I’m ::nodding::
@Jai – men are the exact opposite bcuz they will wife Patron’icia w/the 6 kids with 6 (possibly different daddies, who lives in the projects, with no job, who collects benefits all day while watching Maury bcuz she has a donk and give ‘brain so good you woulda swore she went to college’ (TI)
i know i’m prone to ridiculous generalizations and hyperbole, but this might be the most profoundly absurd and patently wrong thing i’ve read in a long while. i know a lot of dudes. and i dont know not ONE who can read who’d intentionally wife up a chick with beaucoup baby daddy’s that any of you would even consider ever dating.
My guy friends and I were just talking about number 2 a few weeks ago. They were kind of pissed about it. The thing is, guys talk, so they already know if you messed around with X,Y,Z, guys (most of the time). So, if they come to you trying to get some, and you act like you want to get to know them instead, you come off sounding like you’re full of crap. Like, they already know how you do, don’t try and change up.
Number 5 is easy. All of my single friends are older so they have been in situations that I am currently in, when they were in relationships. Just becasue they don’t have somebody at the moment doesn’t mean they don’t have useful advice. It’s like a high school student coming to their parent about peer pressure. We’ve all been there.
@dudette
” They were kind of pissed about it. The thing is, guys talk, so they already know if you messed around with X,Y,Z, guys (most of the time). So, if they come to you trying to get some, and you act like you want to get to know them instead, you come off sounding like you’re full of crap”
You are pissed and insulted. You will have the chics that will give it up to anybody try to play you like this. It’s mad insulting to smut mad dudes and then come to a ninja on some “be my boo” type stuff after he watched you let ninjas hit with no effort.
take the “ette” of your name. you are THE dude, lady. lets go grab a beer and talk about football season.
LOL. Go Giants!
can i just say that i cracked up @ “I’m convinced that the it wasn’t a serpent who misled Eve, there was another chick in the Garden of Eden in the lost books of the bible who told Eve “girl, he ain’t listening to you? Where dey do dat at? Give him the apple and teach him a thing or two. Girl, God wont know, he busy watching Guiding Light.””
mostly because it actually sounds like a reasonable explanation. minus all the new age slang.
sadly, ive experienced most of these relationship paradoxes within the same relationship *smh*
2. Chicks wll sleep with a dude they aren’t interested in but will hold out on a guy they actually like.
This is ish right here!!??. The story of my life from my life until 22. I had this situation with quite a few women. Once I turned up my @sshole I didn’t have this problem. I realized that I gave women too much credit at that time. Its crazy b/c I was never one of those pushover “nice guys”. I never could understand how I would have to be in a relationship with you to get some @ss but Gutta Black gets to beat with no strings attached. This ish was mad insulting to me. Like this dude gets to smash stress free but you want me to be the boyfriend? Not only that but this dude sucks as a person and he isn’t as fly as me. But since I respect you and talk to you like you are intelligent I have to get played on some cuckolded ish.
Men and women take advice from their single and unhappy friens…because they’re available to give advice instead of happily boning somebody.
I would also like to add people in bad relationships giving advice also.
I know dudes in terrible relationships trying to give advice. If you are cuckolded don’t give advice to a ninja that still owns his balls. If you are a compulsive cheater and don’t support your woman/wife don’t tell me how to treat my girlfriend. You have to watch out with this stuff. Even at 30+ years old I still find ninjas talking about f**k that h*e, smash and be out, and all other stuff 20 year olds would do. Or you have the chic cosigning her homegirls bad habits.“Yeah girl you are a queen and he was intimidated by your Everest degree and floor leader position at Wal-Mart”. Talking to these men and women made me understand why the men have 4 kids with 3 different mothers and some women expect the world while without giving anything. The funny thing is that the last person that should give advice is usually the first person to give it.
@Humble_One
I cosign every word, space, and punctuation within ur response. I couldn’t have said it any better.
no one could. my gloved fist is aloft.
I can’t even hate.. Co muthalovin’ SIGN!
“Everest Degree and floor leader position at Wal-Mart..”
^^^^^ CLASSIC!!!
You come through as always, my dude. That floor leader position at Wal-Mart part was hilarious.
@ Humble One..
i feeeeel you. I do. But the same silly things we do to you, you do to us.
Some men have been known to treat the good girl like crap, and wife the stupid chick that is only good for her a:w ratio. And then wonder why you get bored and are broke.
oh but the good girl is too high maintenance and too much work?? (shoutout to Gem and the Holograms!).
AAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!
That is all.
Me co’signin
I concurr….that is all
Truth!
Dang Humble_One…you broke it down to it can forever and consistently be broke! *hand claps and finger snaps*. Take it as a compliment because it seems like women really value how you see them. I know I look for your comments and I don’t even know you bruh. lmbo. And I’m sorry but the scorned/player dude gives bad advice.
Yeah girl you are a queen and he was intimidated by your Everest degree and floor leader position at Wal-Mart .
*snickering*
I don’t think it’s so much that people give bad advice, you just need to know who’s advice to seek.
People often project their insecurities on the advice that they give you.
I really only have one friend that I would ask for advice on men….maybe 2, and she’s married. The others…I can sense the hate and insecurities in their OPINIONS (b/c I surely didn’t ask). It costs me nothing, so I pay them no mind.
Happily married women will give you good advice. Also a man who cares about you. I like this:
“It costs me nothing, so I pay them no mind” People tell you what they would do, not what you should do.
@SmartFoxGirl
Exactly….I remember my roomie was on some lonely ish and would hate on the dude that was checking for me HARD!!!!
On some eff him type ish. She doesn’t even know dude! Didn’t understand our particular situation. But b/c she wasn’t getting shown any love, she wanted some company (me)
ewww uhn uh… she ain’t right.
Hi SFG – (waving enthusiastically)
Girlllllll I’m in a similar position as you are with this Facebook mess! Facebook is the devil!!! Read my long as* post below.
Respectfully,
Your e-PlayCouzin
funny i replied before i even saw this…you know i got you girl!
You know what P… enough with this double entendre stuff. This is what Jay meant when he said:
Ow, girls turn they heads like owls/I’m the man of the hour
Triple entendre don’t even ask me how…
Ok so basically (I believe) the comparison is between his “arrival” during sex and in the night club… follow me P…
1. Ow
In bed girls say “ow” and in the club people say “ow”
2. Girls turn they heads like owls
In bed when he be hitting it (prolly from the back) girls turn they heads like owls… when he step into the hot spots girls turn they heads like owls
3. I’m the man of the hour
His sex last an hour (I assume) and “man of the hour” is an idiom used to describe a prominent figure being himself
Any questions? No. Good.
Now P., can you please get over it… thanks management.
Yeah …So….sorry I ain’t buyin it *Jay don’t even know what an entendre is , IMO, anyways good morning to you
Oh Pumpkin it’s always great when you come thru (no matter how MUCH we disagree- lol)… Mornin!
@Yeah…So – you do realize that what you just described doesnt actually even come close to being entendre-ish, right? and further, his arrival during sex and at the club would be TWO different meanings.
not 3. just cuz you have 3 bullet points doesnt make it work. it just means you have 3 different ways of getting to the wrong answer.
uh actually an entendre means it has 2 meanings… and there are 3 examples of that… triple on entendre
#Iexceltheyallfail
@Panama
Why do you hate love and why won’t you let me be GREAT?
@Yeah…So – not only do you have a bad landing on your triple entendre somersault, your attempted validation of his errant attempt is even worse. LOL. face it, that ninja he didnt say i got 3 double entendres going here. a triple entendre would be ONE statement that can be taken THREE different ways. not 3 different statements. your jay standom amuses me.
i dont have love. lol. i hate jay-z’s ruination of the american education system. lol.
#tryagaingangsta
Oh I’m sorry… I didn’t realize Jay-Z peed on your turkey sandwich (you so angry and I really don’t even like J like dat, I’m just passionate and sh*t)… I get what you sayin (and no this argument isn’t done yet get back here) and you’re wrong (not really but) how much sense would it make for him to say “triple double entendre”- dats lame… and so #somersaultdeez
I’m bored… shirts against the blouses.
“shirts against the blouses”
ooooh…will there be pancakes after??
@yeah…so…at least you realize how retarded it is what you’re saying. and if that IS what he meant, he’s an idiot. lol. then again, this is the same dude who did say that his .38 revolves like the earth around the sun. so maybe its my fault for having expectations. lets just say he couldn’t teach my kids sh*t.
and yes, there will be pancakes.
@Panamania… “and if that IS what he meant, he’s an idiot.”
Did you just entendre me?
Ion’t want no stupid pancakes *kicks over trash can*
Hmmmm I think he meant triple rhyme. He just got his words mixed up. Bless his heart. LoL
Or perhaps since plastic owls are used to scare off birds, and we all know birds are synonmous with chickenheads and people can be chickenheads, does that make it a triple entendre? Or how about since Owls can be found in grandfather clocks, Jay Z is not really a camel, instead he’s the owl in the grandfather clock, controling the time while hunting birds that are mimicing the very thing they are scared of. He’s the owl/man of the hour. Ha!
I realize it doesn’t make much sense, but I’m trying to help Joe Camel out. ROTFLMAO! OWWWWWW!!!!
lol… y’all rude… dat clock/owl/hunting birds part had me for a second #shhhhhh
@V Renee – just stop it.
This written word groupie is in total lust with this post.
PJ I think you just became my new fav, you smexy word smith you…that is until next week. I’m a fair-weather word groupie like that. Unless you invite me behind the words to (clears throat) watch you type…
BTW…leave Hov alone…if he said it’s a triple entendre then gosh darnit it is. The Hov has spoken and we all need to repeat English 101.
lol… *hi5* I tend to take the scenic route in explaining thangs lol
@Alovelydai – i dont mind fairweather love. i’m just glad to be loved at all.
*sniffle*
I have daddy issues.
“BTW…leave Hov alone…”
If you resemble a camel — no matter how dope your rap game is — you will never be left alone.
Let’s just hope Bey doesn’t have kids with him!
They would be camels with (debateable) big booties?
Regarding #2,
I think what this is really dealing with is the dichotomy between abundant sex with so strings attached, and stingy sex full of conditions and expectations.
Sex with no strings attached is what women reserve for the guys who drive them absolutely wild on a base, carnal level. I used to believe these were the guys women “liked alot”, but I’ve come to understand that most women past the age of maybe 25 *know* nothing will ever really work out with these dudes. It’s just that her loins are demanding she grant this cat a summer-long entry pass to the Fun Zone theme park.
The other cat, the one who has to wait and work hard for it, she may very well like him. But her nether regions don’t throb and swell in anticipation upon simply hearing his initials. She just knows he’s a good dude, adn that she *should* be with him, so she let’s him keep trying. Sometimes I think women in this situation are actually rooting for the cat to win her over and make her want to give it up. It’s as if women sometimes observe themselves dealing with some dude as if she’s a third party looking at two other people.
This leads me to believe that the old trope that women can’t separate sex from emotion is probably generally false. Women can, and by a certain age, most women have separated the two. It’s just that there’s very very very few men who can make your typical high(er) quality woman want to give it up with no strings attached. So it winds up not happening much, and it winds up looking like it doesn’t happen at all. Women just have a higher bar set for that sort of thing, that’s all.
THIS!! Thank you for breaking this down better than I could. I owe you a drink.
.
@Scipio Africanus
I think you’re right. The problem is that women at that age aren’t really good judges. If I had a dime for everytime a chic told me “why are you acting like this? You don’t act like this. You’re a nice guy”. What they don’t get is the “player with a heart”. Women put the “good boyfriend” title on dudes that ain’t ish. Some women put so-called nice guys on a LTR pedestal and they will bone you the same way “Gutta Black” will. The difference is that the “player with a heart” won’t leave you with a fatherless child and missing credit card to go along with a blown out back.
No. You’re wrong. All kindsa wrong. Many women up thread have already explained it. But basically, if we* don’t see any long-term potential with dude, we don’t really care what he thinks of us long-term and we don’t care about messing things up for the future b/c we’ve already made up our minds that there will be no “future.” So we can have our fun and keep it moving. Now, with dude that we actually like, we care what he thinks, we don’t want to move too fast b/c that might mess up all the more important things and we are very concerned about our future together. The idea that we don’t want the good dude physically is false. We do. We’re just exercising some self control for the sake of the greater good.
*By “we” I mean “they.” None of this applies to me.
@Yonnie 3000 – i like scipio’s answer better b/c yours is retarded.
I actually think each case (Yonnie’s and Scipio’s) happens just as much as the other. I just think more and more women should stop worrying about the aspect Yonnie described. Eff being a “good girl”…how about making a choice because it’s what’s best for YOU. Or what you want (need) at the time. *shrug* *throws mic*
Eff being a “good girl”…how about making a choice because it’s what’s best for YOU. Or what you want (need) at the time. .
I co-signed this upthread, but I have to co-sign it again. It baffles me when people don’t grant themselves the power to do what they truly want to do.
Yeah…folks need to be done with preconceived labels. The only thing labels are good for are when you make up obscure ones for blog posts (aka “tags”).
@Yonnie 3000
I agree with Panama. Unless he is a sucka he isn’t going to entertain your feelings. Dude wants to smash like the dude you are currently let smash. Only a “sucka for love” type dude will watch another dude get it with no strings attached and then come after him and romance you.
I’m not saying she’s messing with both dudes at once and she lets one hit and doesn’t let the other one hit. I’m saying that in January she might be messing with Mr. Right Now and she let’s him hit. Then in June, when Mr. Right Now is out the picture, she meets Mr. (Potentially) Right and she exercises more restraint for all the reasons I mentioned previously.
@Scipio, about #2: I think this applies sometimes but not often. Speaking from personal experience I’ve got the good guy and the carnal craziness in my relationship now.
I also don’t agree that it’s just about the madonna/whore thing.
@Panama- “i HATE the good girl f*ckery that so many women subscribe to.” Agreed! Please write this! We’re not good girls. Not always. At best, we look that way in the streets, and you know the rest. The girls that can’t turn that off need therapy. It’s bad for species propagation.
On #5 yes, yes. Men and women definitely don’t wanna hear the truth. Sadly, some want to find some twisted solace in complaining to their single friends. Same kind of hateful approach as working out with a really fat girl.
That’d be #6 for me. Relationships where the bukkit-nekkitness gets worse or less the longer you’re together. It should be the opposite! If that can’t be fixed it should be in the 2% of reasons to step.
#7 Admitting catching feelings. As a rule, I never say it first. Ok that’s not true. I’ve never felt it first. But from what I can see, “I love you”, “Marry me”, and “Let’s have (not make) have babies together” are things that go over much better when men bring them up. I’ve only got horror stories from my girls about their experience being the first.
On #5, agree and 500% cosign.
I think the
Errr. That post shoulda endeded at “the first.” But I like the double cosign on five, slip away Freud!
I think Scipio’s answer makes a lot more sense to me…
At least, that’s my opinion…
Scipio – I seriously think you are 100% right with this.
The best secks that I’ve had, has been with guys I was not in a relationship with. Not to say relationship secks wasn’t good, but it wasnt THE BEST.
This leads me to believe that the old trope that women can’t separate sex from emotion is probably generally false. Women can, and by a certain age, most women have separated the two. It’s .
And thank you for saying this. I no longer debate this topic any more, but I definitely think there are those women that can separate secks from emotion.
@V Renee
“And thank you for saying this. I no longer debate this topic any more”
Okay? As much as I love to hear myself talk, this topic is deader than the deadest dead horse.
The best secks that I’ve had, has been with guys I was not in a relationship with. Not to say relationship secks wasn’t good, but it wasnt THE BEST.
You know… I recently had an epiphany about this as well… and it seems to be somewhat of a pattern… made me question if I needed to talk to a therapist or some such… Glad to know I’m not alone.
I’m sayin doh… in reference to #2, can’t women in general just be a little bit more discriminatory in who we let in the cherry box??
i can understand h*es wanting to reform themselves, but they gotta understand that the rep takes a little bit to die down.. so for Tyrone n nem to get in it “daily, nightly, and ever so rightly” and then you meet John and want him to wait.. please understand, John ain’t gonna get your logic!
he might be like, “Bish please!”
plus you are literally occupying yourself, thus blocking the right cocksman* potentially.. free yourself up, and make room for the right things to come.
* shout to Lex LOL
@Nickerz (once again) & Orange Star Happy Hunting
Yes! You two get it. Please educate your sistrens.
SMH……. so women are called on emergency dyck in jar but dudes ain’t called on pink cookies in a plastic bag O_o and some have several bags they dipping into concurrently while trying to ascertain who you may be LOL… like someone up thread the care is minimal or none existent in these situations. about what the person thinks, wants, who they are really as people etc and thats the whole point although this sh*t can and often does get messy too LLS ….thats why I have learned its best refrain, until the right person comes along, attached to the right appendage, in the right frame of mind and situation, wanting to show you the way to go, Jackson 5.
@Orange Star Happy Hunting – i agree with you. if you’re gonna wait that’s one thing. if you’re out there boning dudes left and right to satisfy your “tingle” and then you meet a good guy that you like and see a future with and you clamp up for some retarded period of time so he has to earn it and b/c you care what he thinks…thats the problem.
i think i’ve just realized i have issues with “good girl” issues.
i think i’ve just realized i have issues with “good girl” issues.
I hope to see a post soon! Because I, have been fed up about this “good girl” thing for ages… Good girls don’t need to pretend.
“thats why I have learned its best refrain, until the right person comes along”
@Orange Star Happy Hunting, I hear you. Your quote above works for me. Folks are grown enough to do them and I respect that, but I know what works for me. However, I hope we are not confusing someone getting it in with someone they may not have feelings for versus someone who disrespects them. That’s two separate things. It is not my thing to give of myself in the most intimate way imaginable to someone I have no feelings for. That’s my decision I have made for me. Again, No disrespect to anyone , because folks are grown and “you” decide what is best for you. Yet, the idea of people getting it in with Gutta Black who disrespects them may not be entirely true either. I understand the examples were made because the premise of being most intimate with someone you care nothing about seems silly. I get that. Yet it doesn’t mean a person chose the most disrespectful cat to get it in with either.
Legit Soul I hear you also and I see whatchu sayin ePmd, that makes NO dayum sense, but most are thoroughly confused out here today young, thoroughly.
@ legitimate_soul
I disagree.
A lot of no strings attached casual relationships in which individuals have zero feelings for the other, are prone to embody a general lack of respect.
If a guy is smashing a chick who’s regular communication is limited to text messaging “wanna hook up tonight”, they spend no time outside of chexing together, exactly how much respect do you they have established for one another? Exactly how much respect do you think he has for her?
Neither one of them are meeting friends, family or getting invited anywhere. It doesnt get anymore disrespectful than that.
@ Mr. SoBo,
I personally generally agree with your assessment and your points on this topic, but I respect different strokes for different folks ( no pun intended, lol). I didn’t say dude had the utmost respect for the chick he was sexing either. Honestly, I’m at a disadvantage, because admittedly that isn’t me. It’s not my M.O., nor my style. It’s something I have never experienced. I can be totally attracted, grit my teeth, bite my lip, have visions, urges and know I have it in me to jump the (censored)… But I fall back, because I know me and I’m not wired that way. Some folks are and even if it’s not a lot of them, there is an exception to every rule. There are some brothers who may not disrespect a friend with benefits or talk poorly about her to other dudes. There are some situations where the communication is more than a text. The woman in question may not feel disrespected because she isn’t being invited or meeting folks or spending time with dude because that is not what she wants. It’s also not what he wants. (Maybe they tried that and liked the physical arrangement only.) The agreed upon arrangement is what it is and what constitutes as ‘respect’ may not be what constitutes as respect for you or I, but works for them. Perhaps respect is the wrong word. Perhaps it’s maturity to not kiss and tell and perhaps choosing a guy who generally doesn’t disrespect a woman, has a chip on his shoulder, or call his sexual partner out her name, but appreciates the physicality for what it is and nothing more. I just felt that even though that isn’t MY experience, I have lived life enough to know that it all isn’t black and white. The casual sex partners some may choose may not be the extremes of saints or “Gutta Black”.
I also want to add that the idea that the person that one is getting casual chex from is disrespecting them is really counter to some of the things said on this board. Some might feel feelings may come into play later, or may be denied, but never that there was mistreatment, abuse, or disrespect at the onset. Disrespect WILL NOT make some women turned on. Period. (Sadly, some will get turned on and the same is true of men) Also the truthful example one gave of a woman doing whatever with one dude she doesn’t care about, but making the guy she does care about wait may not be the same woman or same situation. The woman who had casual chex, is not necessarily holding back from a guy she is definitely feeling. I think some of the disagreement comes from scenarios people know of or assumptions. Not all has to be true.
@ legitimate_soul
I can’t argue with that.
Mr SoBo ain’t arguing? No snappy comeback? *scratching head looking around like I’ve been punked* Huh? Awww, sh!t! What I win!? *waiting for confetti to drop* LOL! I’m just kidding, sir! In all honesty I appreciate your view points and dialogue to the fully. I found myself “not arguing with you” and agreeing with a lot of what you said. I was just good-naturedly funnin’ a bit
He let you get the last word too?
*throws confetti*
Kudos to you LS…get em girl!
@SFG, I know, right? He probably just haven’t seen or even cared to look for my response. Let me shut up and leave well enough alone
I’m tired really. And its pretty busy here at work, so I havent been allotted the time to really put much thought into writing my responses. So rather than put together a rushed half @ssed response, I just threw in the towel. Hence, “I can’t argue with that” as opposed to, “You’re right, I agree with you”.
My thoughts:
-F*** Pluto.
-’Casanova’ was cool but me being a little younger I’m more of a New Edition cat.
Free El DeBarge.
-Lyfe is COOL but he’s overdoing it with the “creativity” nowadays. Though to his credit, it sounds like he finally deaded the “AYO YOU!” intro/outro on every damn song. Which is good.
-I laugh everytime I read “Big Black Af.” I have no idea why that’s still funny.
-Number 2: I dont think I agree. To me, that sounds more like a line to keep a friend (sucka) in that “friend space.” And women know EXACTLY when they’re dealing with a dummy who will fall for that. I firmly believe that while women do have casual sex, they don’t consistently have sex with the same person without emotional attachment. So if she’s smashing someone on the regular, chances are that’s the guy she really wants, and you’re just being kept on retainer in case she decides (read: gets over) her current dude who likely doesn’t want her back.
The solution here is simply to be a man. If you want a relationship with her, and she doesn’t want one with you, then move on. Or if you just want to have sex, and she doesn’t (because she’s getting it from someone else), then….move on.
Simple.
-Number 4: Full cosign here. I’ve never cheated on a woman before, but I’ve seen some of my homies get away with some of the craziest stuff you can imagine. And usually it’s by chicks that “upgrade” the guy, and could very easily do better (though I doubt they’re aware of that).
-Number 5: I really don’t know too many guys that take relationship advice from other guys. Dudes definitely talk amongst ourselves, but we really don’t ask each other things like “what should I do about xxxx situation?” And usually it’s only brought up after we’ve already reached a conclusion. Women on the other hand, and as much as I hate to say it, your single friends are (usually) toxic.
I’m sure you know as much so there’s no need to elaborate.
A good rule to follow (whether you’re male of female) is to NOT EVER make your friends privy to the intimate details of your relationship.
Even after it’s ended. No good will ever come of it.
Loved PJ’s post but your Number 2 gets a hard stamp of approval from me… It’s true BDot… smh *drops head in shame*
@ BDot
*waves good morning
Free El DeBarge.
LMFBO!
*throws up deuces. chris brown
Kinda funny how it’s mostly men who think #2 is a paradox while women explain how it’s not.
If i show my world to you on the first date, you’re gonna wonder how many other guys I;ve done that too. on the other hand, if we’re just boning, I don’t care, and I actually want you to think I;m experienced.
well can we talk about #3 for a minute?
men are the only a*sholes on earth that will get mad at you for being hurt or doubting their character over something wrong that THEY ACTUALLY DID! and you know that they know that you know they did it! i know domestic violence from either party is wrong, but a man that interrupts me expressing my honest feelings to give me the “i’m sayin, can we just move on though?! how long you bring up the past!?” is a man that gets slapped the p*ss out of. well, that’s after i give myself a serious side-eye for still being with this individual in the first place, which i really don’t see myself doing in the future. in the past however, i’ve definitely experienced some “why you still talkin about that?” and i’ve definitely turned sissy spacek (from “carrie”) on a heaux and torn some sh*t down.
good day, yall.
yeah I cosign… I hate dat sh!t… you can’t tell someone to hurry-up and get over something… “Ninja YOU hurt ME” you don’t get to decide when I should be over it… what part of that is so hard for these ninjas to comprehend? I’ll stop talmbout it when I’m ready and *looks at watch* it ain’t time yet.
Dang…do ya’ll need a pot of grits or a shank? I got both.
Lemme know.
@SFG:
I’m definitely NEVER gonna get on your bad side. Freakum dress or not.
@Yeah So & Charli S:
PREACH to tha MUTHAEFFIN CHUCH!! If I could fake/turn on feelings when I wanted to, trust me the world would be a better place.
True story…I used to still talk to (not get it in with…just trying to be “nice” and remain friends with) my ex while I started talking to my new dude. New dude knew this. I told him. I did not, however, feel it necessary to tell him every.time my ex texted, called, pigeon mail carriered me….I already gave him the background on what was up.
Fast forward 6 mos later, I’m in the car with new dude and the ex texts me. I don’t answer him…so he texts more (why do folks do that) and new dude sees it. He proceeds to get all mad and break out over it. Mind you, I’d seen his phone and let’s just say that he ain’t as innocent as he tries to claim.
So, we argue and he says something that makes me demand that we exchange phones…we do and he sees that I don’t text my ex back. But, I see that he’s cheated…dummy shouldn’t have handed over his phone.
We ain’t together now, and I don’t know if we ever will be. However, when he does talk to me he always “why we still gotta talk about that?” Idiot…cuz you acted like I was satan spawn for the actions of my ex but you were getting it in with another broad. One time my azz…
Men….I hatechu all sometimes.
Men….I hatechu all sometimes……..Amen, Amen, Amen….thatisall
Omarion had a song called “I’m Gon’ Change” on his album O
why do you know this…this actually saddens me to know that you were/are rocking to Omarion…le sigh
I had a bf that had been single and d**kless for 5 years and I would call and ask her advice on mydating life (kinda oxymoronish). I found that I get great relationship advice from my male friends who were not trying to get da bizness or from single females who were happy and had an active social life.
I have another opposite friend whose relationship advice is to handle your needs with one guy, but save your heart for the other. I asked what do you do if you develop feelings for the one giving you the actrite…she had no response other than the best way to get over someone is to get undersomeone else. mute…she is still single.
***sidebar what happened to my funnel cake PJ…inquiring minds
Guy friends give excellent advice. Even if they want to chex you themselves. If they care, they will give you advice raw and real.
yep, my bestest male friend is like that. he keeps it too real and raw…he will say things like ‘Jai…what the fcuk is wrong with you’ or ‘Jai…shut the hell up’. Then he will flip it and be like ‘you are a great person and etc…’. After he says all of that, he will say ‘so when are you gonna let me hit’ LOL. I have to explain that I don’t think the wife would appreciate this. We have been friends for YEARS and he gives the best advice, still tries to get some, and we have never (and will never) cross that line.
LMBO men are so trife, gotta love em.
@Jai – i know this b/c i actually really liked Omarion’s first album. in fact his second album wasn’t bad either. dude makes some good music.
i’m secure in my manhood.
I’m LaBakir, and I approve this message.
Omarion’s first album was SOLID…you can listen to the whole joint all the way through.
and as far as #2 goes, that’s just the equivalent to young, successful men wanting to spend their youth and money on heauxz, all while knowing or having in mind the woman or type of woman that they want to wife up.
i’ve had men try to dangle futures of trophy wifedom in front of me and expect me to put my life on hold while they sew (or is it sow? hmmm) their wild oats with women they would never settle with, because they can’t do the things they want to do with someone they respect. instead of tending to the respectable person, they expect to have fun now and have her wait it out (i guess that’s when “she” finds time to catch backshots off of Big Black Af, unbeknownst to Cornball #A). see? it’s the same thing. so i’m going to need men to stop whining about that.
@charil skipper – you’ve actually had dudes tell you that he’s putting you on hold while he figures his life out. like he’s actually expected you wait on him? wow. that takes cajones to tell a chick, i’ll get back to you after i bone these other chicks. they let me put it on their forehead and write my name across the sky and i would prefer to treat you like a lady.
no, see? what happens is….ugh, nevermind!
It Swindle #12345…. and chicks fall for it because they are so enamored by the idea of ” being considered a good chick”….
I still ride for Pluto. It is still a planet in my book. Nine planets is the bizness!
I heard the Lyfe Jennings song and did not have the patience. I turned the dial. Ninja please e_O
I have wrongfully done the reverse of #1. This was not done to a girlfriend, but I realized I had guy friends that treated me better than the dudes I was dating. I am not proud of it, but since we family and ‘ish… I had a “aha” moment when I realized that and recognized I was in some situations I needed to get out of and remedy. There is no way that the guy who get’s your affection, time, and consideration should treat you worse than the dude you had a class with years ago.
In terms of PJ’s #1, I think some women hold the person they knew for 2 months to a higher level of accountability because you plan to have chex with them (if one hasn’t already). For some folks when chex is in the picture there is a higher accountability. The attitude is: “Yeah, my homegirl Gloria is foul for faking, but I ain’t effin’ her!” Right or wrong, there it is.
Good points all around in the post, but #2 does not apply to me. HTTN (Heyall to the naw) No way some dude I have no connection to or doesn’t know get’s the goodies. Negative. But given my statements above, I have made my mistakes even if chex isn’t involved.
You hit it on the head. When sex comes into play, so does expectations. We are focking our friends (well most of us aren’t anyway) so we don’t have expectations on that level. We’re also more inclined to forgive him because of our expectations. If that makes sense. It’s like…I want you to be great so therefore you shall be. I’m lost. *going to get coffee*
We are focking our friends
I mean’t aren’t focking our friends. Ah nyquil
I still ride for Pluto. It is still a planet in my book. Nine planets is the bizness!
LMAO!!!!!
good stuff. I will only address #2.
The delay is more beneficial to the guy, than the girl. If we aren’t interested in you then yes, we don’t care about what happens next. If the chex is great, we will hit you whenever we want that, and not so concerned about what you do with your time outside of that. However, if there is an interest there, it is better to take it slow because that allows you the time to get to know more about all that each party has to offer. Once we cross that line, we recognize there is no going back, and it can be difficult to develop the relationship, or see that we shouldn’t be in one, once judgment is clouded by the attachment to mind-blowing chex followed by omelets.
is this not still counterintutive, idk, maybe. Which is why at this point I’m like Ciara, pre 50, not my goodies, no riding.
@j.ivy – i wonder if ciara feels some kind of way about the fact that people only care about her when she’s being overtly sexual musically. and usually only when there’s a video to accompany her songs.
@pj,
well, given that outside of dancing, she isn’t especially talented, maybe not. Actually, I don’t think the being sexual is unique to her. Problem is, she isn’t “sexy” per se. So it has to be overt. At the end of the day, she’s prolly saying in her head, “they got ta pay me booyyyyeeeee” flav
“Hey girl, don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime”
he meant don’t be a busted chick trying to hook up with mr. fine. it aint gon happen.
@tnt_ftw – i know thats what he means, but thats retarded given the context of the song. lol. the song seems to be, even if errantly, about female empowerment and realizing to value their self cuz most of these dudes suck…so why would you THEN say, “and just in case i wasn’t clear, if you aint hot, realize it and stop chasing dreams.”
Wow this post is so on point. Freaky thing is I was watching Levert’s video on Vh-1 Soul last night while I was arguing with my current guy friend about flirting with thirsty bishes on his facebook and to remember that I can see you nucca! I was just thinking to myself why relationships with certain people do not work. and BAM look at this post today. It’s like you have espn Pandy.
I think it’s the people…not the relationship part. Relationships can be beautiful, even when you argue it’s sexy. When both people are ready and willing it can work. The reason why people think relationships are so overrated is because they are not ready for it or their partner isn’t ready. You can’t force something into working. The guy I’m seeing now isn’t my boyfriend, we are not in a relationship but we see each other off and on. I’ve known him for about 4 months and yes I have expectations of him. That’s basically what we argued about. I know we are both free to do what we want but I don’t want to see it. Just like he wouldn’t want to come over and see another man’s boots in my closet. It’s the same thing. We’re not ready so if I started a relationship with him, it wouldn’t work.
I’ve lost my point so I’ll stop. Btw, the taking advice from single friends is GOLDEN words to live by. Don’t let the woman who hasn’t had a man in 15 years tell you what to do with yours. Misery loves company and envy is a mutha.
facebook is the debil #itwaswritten
@ Yeah…So
“facebook is the debil #itwaswritten”
That’s exactly why I’m not on that jump…lol I can see the writing on the wall, from afar.
I was arguing with my current guy friend about flirting with thirsty bishes on his facebook and to remember that I can see you nucca!
Main reason why I am not on FB anymore…either you go to their page and see something you dont want to see or they come checking your page. Disaster waiting to happen.
what kills me (melanie fiona) is the dudes that i dont even know, haven’t even met..but want my fb. um.. do you even know my last name? but you wanna see family xmas picture? are we dating? if the answer is no, then you’ve answered your own question.
Yes ladies, facebook is the debil. I’m about to defriend him and his 600+ female facebook friends. *rolling eyes*…I don’t understand people on fb. Why post something on their wall that you should text, call or inbox? Attention. I don’t want to see Shara posting “Good night babes, can I see you this weekend?” Nucca I can see you!!! Triflin. I think it’s facebook ettiquette. If you and the man are not official, don’t post things on the wall for everyone to see. We’re free to date, it’s just annoying that the man can put “buying a sandwich” and at least 10 thirsty bishes comment on how sexy he is buying a sandwich. Sorry, I’m just venting.
kudos@SmartFoxGirl!
“Why post something on their wall that you should text, call or inbox?”
-exactly!
@SFG
Your post is hilarious.
I don’t mean to laugh at your current situation, but you got to admit, that sh*t is pretty darn funny.
You’re always laughing at me. mi nuh poppee show
@SFG – its funny. if you read my posts, all the randomness generally indicates what i’m watchign while i’m writing. lol. which is usually videos at like 1150pm.
#2 Only proves ONCE AGAIN that “Nice Guys” do finish last. All the explanations that women have given only prove that if you really want sex, it’s better to just dump all the chivalry (well dump a certain amount and keep all that leads to your end goal) and play the part of the asshole. I killed my inner Nice Guy and its worked for me. I don’t miss the motherscratcher at all…
Speaking of #1
VSF(amily) – I need your help. I’ve been dating this guy quite consistently for 2 months. Long dinners, hand-in-hand at outdoor festivals and concerts and we ALMOST “did it” during a moment of weakness when I spent the night at his house because of a terrible rain storm (BTW VSS, the pole is grande!) #3
He went out of the country last week supposedly with his father. We’re Facebook friends and one of his other friends posted something on his wall alluding to the fact that he has a “better half” – so I decided to Magnum PI his Facebook page. Well I discovered that for the past couple of years this Black college, frat boy, alumnus has been carrying on a long distance “relationship” with a white woman that lives in another state. The nature of their relationship (girlfriend, FWB, stalker or fiancee’) is not known but she has pissed all over his FB page and he has not tried to hide it from me. BTW, After seeing a film about the Black Panther Party he told me that’s why he could never marry a white girl.
VSF do I: a) admit to the FB snooping and ask him who she is and the nature of the relationship, b) don’t accept his calls when he returns from his trip in a week, c) hint at the FB wall posting and continue to date him but do not give up the good good until Becky no longer is a FB friend?
I need your VSA(dvice)
Are you FB friends with him? Because if you are, it ain’t snooping since that ish shows up on your feed every dayum second anyway. lol
Also, have ya’ll had that “what direction are we going” talk? Because if not, you should. It won’t help matters at all if you just ignore his calls, because that’s passive-aggressive and unproductive (if you’re really interested in this cat), IMO.
Thanks Cheekie for the response.
He and I are FB friends and he initiated the friend request. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t a Rebecca (a white girl past her reproductive years).
Rebecca’s FB page is on full blast for the world to see and she got his pictures all over it. She is the one that initiates all of the FB interactions with him though
Yeah, then definitely bring it up. Just not in a “girlfriend scorned” way because…well, you ain’t that. It ain’t snooping if it’s on full blast right on your FB page. Like the others said, ask in a casual, non-threatening way. Especially if you’re considering having “the talk.” He shouldn’t take offense…
After seeing a film about the Black Panther Party he told me that’s why he could never marry a white girl.
***umm…he needs more people
I use to have it so that people could post on my fb wall and all postings would come to my email/phone until people starting putting the most inappropriate things on my wall (wth is a chapagne pillow) so I block it where people can no longer post on there. IF he was disturbed by what was on his wall, he could have done the same thing or checked Becky Sue. He chose to do neither. He may be that person who is not into his fb page so he does not check it often. kanye strug.
I would go with ‘a’. There is no need for you to jump to conclusions. I would be like “hey Swing’low, I checked your page…who is this Becky Sue chick and why is she posting this stuff on your page. then ask where you guys stand. You will never know the answer to a question unless you ask.
ROFLMAO @ Swing Low.
BTW, I love your avatar. Hittin’ switches in the McDonalds old school. Gotta luv it…
A.
a puts you in a position of power. the best position to hear him come clean. not trick. just straight talk.
that simple
@FrogPrincess aka my esister
See my comment above! We are >>>here<<< with this girl. FB shows all. When I would mention what diff women were posting on his wall, he would say "why you all up on my fb"….because I have eyes! It's not snooping at all. If anything it shows you care. It's all in how you approach him. Just say (casually and non threatening) "hey I notice this woman that comments alot on your fb, is she somebody special to you? what exactly? because I don't want to compete" and leave the ball in his court. Smile slightly as you're saying it so he doesn't think you're turning Wanda on him. Women who "piss" on every comment, every picture etc is doing one thing and one thing only: letting women like you know that's hers or she wants him to be. She's trying to make her presence felt. If he's important, just ask him.
Thanks SFG for the feedback! It’s just amazing how our dating (and other) experiences mirror each other.
I’ve been dating for 15 years now, where is he already!!!#Charlotte,SexandtheCity
@The Frog Princess – i’m gonna go with A. let him do all the talking and make decisions based on that. thing is, if he does really have a chick, and you know it, then he’ll either come clean or lie. there’s no grey area there.
oh, and if he hits you with, “that’s just my friend. we used to date a while back but thats over now. we’re just really good friends and we flirt, but that’s it…” be aware that its probably a lie. public flirting f*cks up future panties.
btw, this is a general PSA for all women out there, be wary of ANY dude who tells you about beaucoup women who are friends that he watns to keep around if things get more serious with you. mostly cuz he wants to be able to keep that chick close for a reason. what that reason is? me no know. but be wary.
“me no know”?
WOOOW!
Thanks PJ – I feel really special that you replied in length to my post
VSG(roupie),
The Frog Princess
A. you should just ask him about. and watch his reaction to the random question too. i wouldn’t “admit to the FB snooping” in an apologetic way or come at him in aggressive. Just randomly, out of the blue, ask him who she is when he’s in the middle of talking about Seinfeld. And, yeah, yall should have that “what are we doing” talk.
Um, I agree with Cheekie when it comes to not just ignoring the phone calls. That’s passive agressive (you want to be agressive-agressive. lol)and could lead to him turning around and havin issues with you and then you’re extra salty, like “whaaaaaaaaaaaaa? but i had the issue first!” and things go downhill from there. ask me how i know? lol
How do you Know? LOL
that facebook sh*t is RIDYCK Greg N.I.C.E, mainly because mofos are careless, greedy, selfish, and inconsiderate, facebook puts it on blast, when before the social networking mofos were left to speculate and ASSume, now the world knows etc..
I can’t with FB, and to me there is a certain thirst level associated to all those social networks, unless its just for business and or looonnnggggg distance fam.
@Orange Star Happy Hunting
“I can’t [fkuc with FB, and to me there is a certain thirst level associated to all those social networks, unless its just for business and or looonnnggggg distance fam.”
Cosignage to the 10th power.
I’ll take ‘A’ for 100 points.
Really, I doubt he’d even trip about you Facebook sleuthing. Most dudes expect their girl to snoop at least a little bit. And if it was on his wall, it really isn’t snooping. I digress…..
In addition to what the others said, I would make it very clear to him that he has one chance, and ONE CHANCE only to come COMPLETELY clean.
And if/when he does, that still doesn’t guarantee ANYTHING.
If he decides to spill the beans, listen carefully to what he says and go from there. Above all else, trust yourself.
Long time lurker, first time commenter. I didn’t read the comments (sorry), but just wanted to chime in that I am notorious for #2. Thought I was the only one.
@BlackLizLemon – welcome and sh*t.
the folks that throw glitter are on strike for lack of payment.
I blame #2 on men… if it weren’t for the madonna/whore complex described upthread good women might not make the good guys wait, then feel compelled to give it up to Mr. Wrong to get her jollies rocked. Good girls have needs too….that being said…none of that applies to me anymore as connection has surpassed jolly rocking by far in importance to me…therefore all candidates have to be fully vetted before there’s a chance of jolly rocking….
searching for “like” button.
YES.
I don’t have too much to add to what P. Jack has said so far. They are interesting paradoxes indeed, and the truth of them is based on each individual, which everyone that has commented has shown. It seems like #2 has been commented on a lot because it is a very odd paradox, but it is definitely understandable and it does work both ways. I know guys that will down scalawags on the regular but if they meet a chick that is gal material, he will actually take her time with her not rush things.
I always tried to come off as a good guy when I meet women and kinda be more than that what they are used to. If I was talking to a girl that I am interested in and she is giving up to another dude and holding out on me, I probably wouldn’t trip about it because when it comes to sex, I kinda go in with low expectations. What I mean by that is that I go in not expecting to get any at all. I don’t really talk about it or bring it up unless she does. I like for a woman to feel like I am really trying to get to know her instead of trying in her draws, which is what she is probably used to. Throw little innuendos every once in awhile, “Hey, that’s a pretty thong you got” or “Your legs look so smooth” or just rub her feet and just leave, and she would probably have to spring into action sooner or later. Women have egos like men do, so if a man is showing interest in a woman without making outright chexual advances at her, she will feel like she has something to prove. Next thing you know, you’re eating dinner at her crib together, you’re pushed onto her couch forcefully, she says she is going to put on you, you smile and say “Do your worst” and let the fun begin. All with minimal effort. Women like challenges, so even though Tyrone around the corner will drop his trousers for her a moment’s notice, it will be too easy for her. If the nice guy talks to her like woman, throws down in the kitchen and makes her smile, all with minimal “I wanna f**k you” sentiments, she is going think “How I am going to get this nice, cool guy into my pleasure pocket without coming off like a scalawag?”. When all else fails (and it probably will), she will think “I really like him, so I will just give him some” and you’re either getting tackled like an NFL running back or watching your private boy short fashion show.
Yeah, I know that sounds odd, but it’s worked for me. I never had a lot of chexual conquests in my time and the times that put in work just for the draws left me with cerulean balls, so I stopped really focusing on it when I talked to women and just let it happen. Work smarter, not harder. I know this post is filled with paradoxes and contradictions, but thus is life, and I’ve been experiencing a NyQuil hangover all morning so I am probably not thinking straight. Time to get food.
Good post. LOL @ cerulean balls…..a man that knows his color wheel! (says the artist)
@CBG:
you are sick too? wasn’t SFG sick just the other day? hmmm…
*insert legit_soul side eye here. hahahaa
your comment wins for me based on these words:
scalawags
and
work smarter, not harder
^^is most DEF t-shirt worthy. 3rd one of the day! summer wardrobe ftw!
*insert legit_soul side eye here. hahahaa
^@ Keisha, LMAO! Gurl! I peeped that too! Both of them are under the influence of Nyquil. I heard that!
*** “I heard that” is a Bay Area colloquialism most often said to agree with someone or to offer the affirmative. Synonyms are also “ok”, “yes”, “sure”, and “no doubt”. So to clarify I didn’t literally hear anything, but I exclaimed “I heard that” in affirmation of the SFG and CBG e-boo-dom that makes me smile.
I know what “I heard that” means. I got major love for the Bay Area. I grew up in Dallas, but I grew up on Bay Area music. Mac Mall, Dru Down, Yukmouth, E-40, Short Dog, Mac Dre. Thanks to the Box Channel when I was a kid, I became a fan of Bay music. I was just in Oaktown this year going to a conference in Napa. Much love to the Bay.
Yay! You gotta holla at your VSB folk if you in the Bay. Plus, I meant in no way to come off as condescending. I just wanted to clarify that I didn’t actually hear anything, but I just love the e-boo interaction. Don’t wanna be trying to start false rumors or anything.
Don’t be worry’n about us both being sick…it was the best ride of his life
and well worth the fever.
“it was the best ride of his life and well worth the fever”
WOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII. *wipes brow.
This is my bbm status RIGHT NOW!!! hahahahaha. SFG: I heart you. *not in a CBG-kind of way. well.. almost.
lmao…good remedy for a cold/flu is to sweat it out.
“Don’t be worry’n about us both being sick…it was the best ride of his life
and well worth the fever.”
^I heard that! *smiling and going to mind my business*
I love everything about this comment because I’ve been the girl with the NFL pads on ready to down a VSB after a few great conversations and a southern slam fried chicken dinner.
the fact that you used cerulean makes my mind twitch a little.. (because i can’t say what really twitched.)
next you’ll be saying that your skin is a sepia color…
LordHaveMercy..
your scenario actually makes perfect sense…
feel better CBG!
Actually, I am more of a raw umber color. Sepia is just a shade darker.
Uh oh…my pun has a heart beat now
YOU SEE!!!
SH*T like THAT!!!
LMAO!!
thanks for reading.. and yes, i’ll be introducing some chex (on the request of my girl..)
i had a legit question to ask you (about the readings), but didn’t wanna put it on the thread.. Argh
“i had a legit question to ask you (about the readings), but didn’t wanna put it on the thread.. Argh”
*cult recruiter* That’s why he should get a twitter acct…
LMAO @ Cheekie with the twitter plug.
When CBG (and the rest of the unicorn posse not already twitified) officially give in..#twitterafterdark is a wrap.
I concur lol @Nick
@Nickerz
“the fact that you used cerulean makes my mind twitch a little.. (because i can’t say what really twitched.).”
Is Mr. Sobo gonna have to get up,..and choke a b*tch?
@CBG
I just wanna say thank you for saying “scalawag”, it’s been too long since I’ve heard someone say that…lmao
CBG! Boooooooyyy you sure do know how to get you some. I have a nyquil hangover too. I’m typing like I’m in a dream right now. lol Everything you said is right on. The guy that doesn’t act like he wants me makes me want him bad! And I can get pretty aggressive if I’m not aggressed upon. (pause) It works. Be the homey friends, make slight comments and sit back. She will have you on your back legs wide suffering from an asthma attack saying wait wait WAIT! lmao.
that’s the truth.. my ex, called him “captain octopus” once the sun went down because he was SOO aggressive… my last dude, i couldn’t keep my hands off of because he was so passive about it.. (almost passive to a fault, but still)
he used to tell me, “i’m not a machine” because that’s how much i used to want it from him..
all because he sit back and let me take the reins..
dead @ “I’m not a machine”
I thought they only said that in the movies lol
She will have you on your back legs wide suffering from an asthma attack saying wait wait WAIT! lmao.
That’s it right there. I’m a Taurus, so I don’t believe in wasted energy. Focus on a woman’s head and her heart, her loins will follow.
This would be a good time for Embarrassing Story Time with ComicBookGuy, but nah, it’s Tuesday and I’m trying to feel better.
oh Lord.. i get the feeling the story would’ve involved some acrobatics.. and a piece of furniture being broken…
(my imagination is super, LOL)
Do share….does involve rope and beads?
hey he started it…ya’ll know not to provoke me
Wait, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I said embarrassing, not freaky. It did involve an umbrella and a bad back.
I resent the single unhappy friend thing (mostly because I partially fit the profile) because I give damn good advice. Example, my friend is in love with her boyfriend of four months and yet, she’s witholding the goods. What do I tell her? To give it up. What does she do? She cries and gets out of it. Sometimes its not us single friends, sometimes its just your crazy woman.
Relationship paradox: If a man really cares about you he’s not going to show his true feelings until he’s about to lose you.
I’m sorry, really? Tsk tsk tsk. Sadly, it’s happened. Quite frequently too. What’s a girl to do when dude’s call after you’ve moved state on some “I miss you/I love you” sh*t? Ninja I just left three days ago, you knew me a full year…and you choose now to tell me? No bueno.
If a man really cares about you he’s not going to show his true feelings until he’s about to lose you.
I’m sorry, really? Tsk tsk tsk. Sadly, it’s happened. Quite frequently too. .
CHURCH!!!! And they get hit with the “Boy bye”
This was a great post and very well written! I do agree with the whole relationship stereotype that women shouldn’t call and men want women more if we play hard to get. Why should I play hard to get if I like you? When are the games done and over with?
@Jen.
Appearantly never.
LeSigh.
I gots sumthin to say about # 1, simply because I cannot STAND a flaky Ni**a.
And that does not just apply to men im dating, its family friends, co-workers, cable installers etc…, You have 2 chances to send me off, after that its grounds for dismissal. I mean you just met the girl and you already fuckin up , then want to act surprised? Her friend has already established herself to be flakey, you just got put on and already displaying undersirable behavior. That “she did it too” defense aint gonna cut it. My auntIe Debbie had to learn the hard way.
#2- I can’t sleep with people im not interested in, because most of the time men im not interested in either
A) Have the personality of a roof shingle
B) Are complete and total jackass’ or idiots or a combination of the 2
c) Fat dudes….I dont DO fat dudes. one pair of boobies per couple por favor.
d) Have S-curls or blow-outs.
so I cannot relate. However as a man the fact that you’re acting oblivious to the art of compartmentalization tickles me seeing as how you all are the masters at it. You know good and got damn well there are certain things you will do with and to one woman that you will not do with or to the next.
Don’t play coy.
You know good and got damn well there are certain things you will do with and to one woman that you will not do with or to the next.
Don’t play coy
@ Misty Knight: TAKEM TO CHURCH!!!!
Yeah…..I’m throughly convinced after reading EVERYTHING that #2 is more correct than ever. Sad, but I’ve come to realize that in my 24 years, being the “Nice/Good Guy” and Women are just a bad and losing combination. TRUST ME, I’ve been there but have changed and have no plans of ever returning. My advice: men from ages 15-30 should be complete assholes if they want sex. After 30, which should be the age for you to even put the word relationship in your vocab, is when you should be a gentleman because that’s when your “Good Guy” status will be appreciated.
Now that is just a bleak outlook for us single 20 year olds who ain’t about that bullsh*t…
I appreciate a good dude, but the thing with a lot of the ones who approach me is, they either don’t tell me they’re interested that way, or drop tiny hints. When it comes to stuff like that, hints ain’t gonna cut it. I’m an all out girl, you just gotta say it.
Yea I think every dude has to find his niche with women. Me, I found that there’s nothing wrong with being “nice,” just don’t be the prototypical doormat. There’s nothing wrong with opening doors, actually listening when she talks, calling her by her real name, and not slapping her if interrupts the game.
But don’t be the kind of guy that hops out of bed at 3am, and drives across town to take her to the 7-11…around the corner. Or the dude that buys her everything under the sun only to get a nice, warm “thanks” at the end of the date.
It’s all about balance. You can be nice, without being a simp.
“But don’t be the kind of guy that hops out of bed at 3am, and drives across town to take her to the 7-11…around the corner. Or the dude that buys her everything under the sun only to get a nice, warm “thanks” at the end of the date.
It’s all about balance. You can be nice, without being a simp”
And…there you have it.
“It’s all about balance. You can be nice, without being a simp.”
I think I <3 you. Lol.
Nah fo' real tho… *clap, clap, bravo* and some otha sh!t for this statement.
It’s all about balance. You can be nice, without being a simp.
That’s it there, mayne. It took my entire time in college to realize that. Now I have to pass this on to my nephew who starts college in a few weeks.
LOL I see what you guys are saying…but I stopped being nice, period, and now my cup runneth over with women. Trust me, there’s no room for that type of nonsense with women. Better to just be yourself, whoever that may be, then to do all the nice stuff. Balance is important yes, but between the two, it’s always better to be “bad.”
@ Donny Edwardscissorhands, you may want to consider the repercussions young, cause sooner or later you reap what you sow and it sounds like a young aZZ and/or bitter dude philosophy, either you will pay for that sh*t, its better to treat people right or leave them alone..
And it can very well happen that way sometimes. Some women are accustomed to being treated a certain way, so an asshole just may be their preferred flavor.
Nothing wrong with that (I think).
“Now my cup runneth over with women”
…well are they quality women? I’m not saying…I’m just sayin, I don’t know too many quality women who would stand for 98.7% bad…at least not consistently with the same dude. Thats just an A in ass*oleness…which ultimately is a fail.
Teach him well fam lol.
Like a grown man oghta know how!
Balance is a very important life principle, as we tip on the tightrope!
It’s all about balance. <– so simple. yet so difficult.
You can be nice, without being a simp. <—def t-shirt worthy.
I'd like mine in black. size LL (ladies large). please and thanks.
i think today's post has broken a record for tshirts!
@Donny Edwards
Cosign. I’m older than you but I caught on at about 20-21. After that I never had #2 as a problem.
A simp?
Funny. Most husbands I know tend to get out of bed at 3am to go to the store for their wives and do all kinds of stuff that could be consider not attractive by a young woman. The thing is they were willing to do these things when they were not married. Why? Because they wanted the woman to be comfortable even if it meant their own discomfort. Perhaps that is a simp.
But if you are not woman enough to NOT play a dude who is genuinely “nice” and in fact willing to be your runner like that….without hitting….you are an ass and like the ladies like to say karma is a mother@#@er. The behavior is actually in line with some of the more chivalrous acts a man can make. Unnecessary but telling.
I get most of the women posting are under 30 so I get the thinking and will not argue it. But if you keep thinking a man willing to move like that for you is not something to at least respect and you abuse it….you are not a lady. I know some solid women over 30 who thought the same way and would die for that kind of attention from a man now. To each his or her own of course but if you continue to think that way you might have long-term relationship problems coming.
No Kanye shrug. O.G. Larry Hoover stare…..no blinking.
I think you came in on the tail end of the conversation. We were talking about being nice versus being a simp. Like I said earlier, there has to be balance. I openly advocate that guys be gentlemen with the ladies, but blindly going to ANY length for a woman (or man) during courtship is just crazy.
Best intentions be damned.
And really, I don’t believe it’s malicious in all cases. I just think that simply put, people respect a challenge. Just like you aren’t likely to respect her as a lady if she has sex with you on the first date, she’s not going to respect you as a man if act like her puppy.
Fact is, it’s a cold world. If you put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of, more often than not you will be.
“Best intentions be damned…..Fact is, it’s a cold world. If you put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of, more often than not you will be.”
i read it all. i get it.
if this is the case my man then any man who subscribes to how Donny Edwards approaches women is justified. Like you said, its a cold world. trust me im schooled in it. i have not had the “nice guy” problem since about age 12. but if love is your relationship goal being in a position to be taken advantage of is a part of it for women and men. it’s a part of our friendships and even our families (at least mine).
and if you treat a man (or a woman) who is genuine like this (it is cold and in line with your theory), you can not get upset when you run into that calculating, cold ass dude. karma….
@Dave
@Humble_One & Donny Edwards
Same here. Upping the @sshole degree resulted in a tsunami of panties in both quantity and quality for me. I went from scowering the sahara desert dying of thirst to drowning in a rapidly rising sea of pink tidal waves.
#2 has never been a problem since, nor have I ever looked back. I just make sure I have my floaties on.
Being bad never felt so good.
wow@ the comments.
very enlightening and entertaining, especially the “retard” debate.
1We hold people me met two months ago to a higher standard with our emotions than we do somebody we’ve known for ten years.
I dont think we hold people to ahigher standard, its just that we have no reason to put up with your bullshyt. If I have been friends with you for 10 years then I have a whole history of reasons why I can forgive you (probably based on the hundreds of times you have forgiven me) but if Ive only known you for a few months its not worth my time because ive not invested anything and you ve not contributed enough to warrant forgiveness for a flagrant violation.
but this!
Men and women take advice from their single and unhappy friends…because they’re available to give advice instead of happily boning somebody.
makes no sense.
well i take that back, it makes sense as normally these mofos are going to co sign on the bullshyt you were going to do anyway…
but still…
*grabs unoccupied microphone*
*ehem*
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement:
Facebook and other social
hookup facilitatingnetworking sites will inevitably destroy your relationships.That is all.
yeah yeah i got the memo ….geesh
thank Jesus i have no relationship to destroy..
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement:
Facebook and other social hookup facilitating networking sites will inevitably destroy your relationships.
That is all.
nah. no they wont
facebook and social networking does nothing but allow a mofo room to be online what they are in real life.. lol
so it aint facebook or social networking its ya man or (woman) and they woulda and probably have done the same thing with cellphones, pay phones, chat lines..lol whateva
in regards to # 2 its sad that i have purposely tried to be the one females don’t like to get some sooner than later
#3 its not such a bad thing, I mean seriously,practice forgiving people
especially if you fall in the # 4 catagory
by the way wassup vsb’s and vss’s. You guys are Heee lariuos!!!
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what’s with using the word retarded in the title. so wrong.
terrible use of the word retarded. don’t you know any better?
really? as many people as are offended in these posts on a daily basis, you want to just arbitrarily draw a line in the sand as to what is and is not acceptable? all of you people slay me. do you really think that panama’s intent, in his use of the word, was to make disparaging remarks about the mentally challenged?
I have hopped in bed with women going native down below and furry legs, not that it stopped me or anything. Women are less forgiving towards men when it comes to hygiene.
Upkeep, the field must be maintained at all times.
A few days ago I was tripping on the Lyfe Jennings song, but this post is definitely more insightful. #5 though is the one that can be the curse of death if you keep the ears open.