Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Represent, Represent: This Is Me. This Is Me Meeting You.

My rep looks a lot like MC Gusto.

My rep looks a lot like MC Gusto.

So you know how folks say that when you first meet somebody and start dating, etc, that its your rep calling all the shots and being front and center? Well of course I believe this. I also believe in magic and miracles. Oh, and that I can fly. I totes can fly.

Or at least my representative can. My representative can do anything he sets his mind too. My representative can whip your representative’s ass and then tell you a gallant tale about the time he cut Joe Louis’s hair. Or something like that.

Thing is, while most of us do fully intend to be our true selves, we mostly bring the version of ourselves that we love to the table. See, while I can be remarkably jovial, the truth is, most times I sit alone in my four cornered room staring at candles. But if ever I go on a date, well I’m going to be the happiest go luckiest mofo lowdown around this town. There’s nothing wrong with this, believe it or not because both people tend to bring their reps to the table.

Sure she can’t cook, but she’ll talk about her favorite thing to cook that one time she cooked. No, he can’t change a tire, but he’ll overstate how helpful he was that one time he watched his boy rebuild a transmission and how it made him feel like a man.

Recently I got told that I “play a f*cking character online”. This made me think of my representative. So here’s the rundown of the Panama Jackson rep. [Sidenote: I'm pretty consistently the same person in person that I am online, or at all times in general as I suppose most people are...but its always fun to do some self-analysis.]. Who is my representative?

1. He talks passionately about politics

I’ve said before that I couldn’t care less about politics; ironic considering my employment. But he can wax philosophical about current events, political disposition and name at least 50 Congresspeoples.

2. He relates to foodies

You know who isn’t a foodie? Moi. In fact, I’m so unfoodiesque that I openly eschew fancy pants little exclusive restaurants for wings. A ninja like me, likes wings. But, interestingly enough, I’ve been to and tried an inordinate number of swanky, expensive bistros and places that only use cloth napkins. Real talk, as long as the fancy ass restaurant has wings, we can go there any time of day boo.

3. He’s into home decor and interior decorating best practices

Okay, this one might actually be true at all times. HGTV really is my channel. Hmm…

4. He likes Robin Thicke

I can’t for the life of me figure out why people love Robin Thicke, but my representative can find some appreciation for a few songs of his. Though I can’t lie, this all goes bad as soon as the discussion turns to “Lost Without You”. That’s the point where I give up on it all and start singing the praises of “Pop That” and why French Montana, while being detrimental to mankind love the kids as much as Wu Tang.

5. Doesn’t know who David Tutera is.

Aha…the opposite day one. Can’t come off as too into stuff like “Say Yes To The Dress” at first right? Women scoff at stuff like this at first then, expect you to want to watch it with them later. Funny how time flies when you’re making love this stuff works. Seriously, can somebody explain that one to me?

So while nobody condones lying, and I definitely believe everybody should be themselves. And to be clear, these are all parts of me just not the parts I spend the most time developing of myself. I think we all bring a certain version of ourselves to different tables. So who sits at the table when you first meet somebody new? And don’t pretend like everybody’s perfect. It’s Friday…

…who’s your rep?

Petey Jakes. Out. <—- That’s my rep’s name. He’s a rapper.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. OH NO HE DIDNT YES HE DID aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

    check me out posting all early and whatnot!!!!

    that picture tho…..lawd.

  • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.com/ Black Yoda

    I met a few people in person that I first got to know online. There’s usually a difference. That’s not always a bad thing though. I imagine that meeting quite a few people on here would be like meeting the Incredible Hulk as he transforms back into Bruce Banner.

    • AfroPetite

      I’m as peachy in person as I am online ;-) I stay in Hulk mode

    • Sahel

      Imagine O taking all the VSS to dinner and they all end up enjoying themselves.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        That’s because we’d all get to take turns throwing moscato in his face.

        • Sahel

          O may have a hot sister,you know you like that Val

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            She would have to be an adopted sister.

            • Obsidian Files

              No offence taken; they don’t share your orientation, anyway.

              The phrase from “Set It Off” comes to mind…

              O.

        • LMNOP

          And it would be amusing to put him in a position where he can’t get a word in, let alone a thousand word thesis.

        • http://twitter.com/ktemjin Kaname

          @Val – I see that you’re trying to get me fired this morning for laughing so darn loud at that image.

        • Obsidian Files

          Who said you was invited?

          Anyone following your “advice” would run the very high risk of drawing back a bloody stump. I do not respond well to physical assaults of any kind.

          Keep your moscato – and your hands – to yourself, conduct yourself like a lady (if that is at all posssible), and all will be well.

          Capice?

          O.

      • Todd

        Personally, I would find it interesting if O was a straight simp and p*ssy panderer in real life. That would make the online persona more than a bit hilarious. LOL

        • AfroPetite

          I think you might be onto something Todd. Has anyone had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Obie in real life?

      • Obsidian Files

        See what you’ve done? Now all the loonies are running amok…

        O.

      • Kema

        O seems like he would make an interesting dinner mate. I choose interesting over nice every time.

        • h.h.h.

          Word?

          nice guys do be finishin’ 7th around these parts.

          *goes to the corner and plays Madden*

          • Kema

            Well you are both interesting and nice. :-)

            • h.h.h.

              awwwwwww im all blushing and what not lol

              i’m still gonna play this madden tho…please make sure you drink coffee whilst listening to the erudite scholar opine lol

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “I imagine that meeting quite a few people on here would be like meeting the Incredible Hulk as he transforms back into Bruce Banner.”

      I know where this comment is going…and that’s all I have to say about that….

    • Kema

      I’m more of a Poison Ivy going back to being Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley. But thats when you get to know me.

      • Sahel

        Damn,a batman reference. Kema,your looking very hot right now

        • Kema

          Lol! I was actually going to say Harley Quinn. Maybe my rep is both of them combined after the mental crack while the real me is a lot more nerdy like they are before the alter ego takes over.

          • Sahel

            So what you doing for halloween . I know this shop with a catwoman and poison ivy costume..

            • Kema

              Smh! But I will be Poison Ivy. :-)

  • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

    Im the same all the time with a few alterations:

    All the time, Im a perv, a bookworm, a worrywort, ridiculously punctual, a perv, an abstract artist, a DIYer, a perv, a nerd, a sloth, and also…..a perv. I’ve been told I’m Chester the Molester enough to just accept it lol…

    But in real life I’m not as social as I am on dates and on the internets…I’m actually quite reclusive in reality. I’m much more patient on a first date than I am on the regular. I would say I’m less perverted….but nope, I gaze at tiddy meat, booty meat, crotch meat…if I was a man, I would be that old greasy dude at the bar making passes at college coeds. My rep is just a happy go lucky version of myself.

    • Pierre

      Chester the Molester……

      • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        That is I.

    • AfroPetite

      I get all my drinks from greasy old dudes at bars then subsequently give them that phone number that connects them to the rejection hotline.

      “You’ve reached the rejection hotline! The person who gave you this rejection hotline number DID NOT want you to call them!!!”

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Lol.

      • Obsidian Files
        • AfroPetite

          Was this article supposed to elicit guilty feelings within me? Women lying to men and men lying to women occur just as frequently in the realm of social interaction. I guess it’s more acceptable for women to tell little white lies like mine. Men definitely do the same for females they don’t find attractive. No harm no foul.

          • Obsidian Files

            I beg to differ:

            http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/135235

            And actually, as I point out in my piece, in truth, pardon the pun, it is Women who lie far more frequently, regardless as to the rationale, than do Men.

            So, no, not trying to “elicit” anything from you or anyone else; just highlighting the rank hypocrises in this regard is all…

            :)

            O.

            • AfroPetite

              So I was being hypocritical?

              • Obsidian Files

                If you are among the ladies who decry and deplore the real or imagined mendacity on the part of Men while having no problems the least engaging in the very same behaviors regardless as to their rationale – YES.

                Next question?

                O.

                • AfroPetite

                  When did I do any of this within the scope of this conversation?

                  • Obsidian Files

                    When did I say you had to? My piece explicitly made clear the broader context of the ongoing conversation obtaining on Sexual Poliics. Again, if you aren’t one of those Women who engage in such excoriation of Men along these lines, great you’ve got nothing to worry about.

                    On the other hand, if what I’ve said strikes a raw nerve…

                    O.

                    • AfroPetite

                      Got it ;-) I’m all good then, I thought you were assuming I was one of those she-woman-man-hating-heathens. I’m a lover not a fighter.

      • Brother Mouzone

        That must be some Atlanta Sh*t..Every time I’ve heard a sista say she did that, she was from Atlanta……Atlanta native are we????

        • AfroPetite

          Nope I’m a Southern Girl for sure though.

      • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        Luckily for me, I’m adorable and non-threatening, so folks enjoy my greaseball antics lol…theyre like “awwww, look at lil bunni motorboating that lady!”

    • Sahel

      Good thing you arent a man lol

      • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        amen for that *grabs tiddy meat*

    • Todd

      You need to find an outlet for that perv mindset. Shall I suggest a Tumblr? ;)

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        In the immortal words of Breezy–

        “You would…”

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Give the link to your tumblr, Todd?

        • Todd

          hugequeensman.tumblr.com

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Interesting. So, is your wife a ‘larger’ woman?

            • Todd

              Welp…she ain’t skinny. LOL

              • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                ‘chu got against skinny folk!?! lol

          • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

            why in the eff did i click this link at work….i KNEW better. I swear I did

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              Lol.

            • Todd

              Like heck you did. LOL AndYoles finally peeped the infamous site for the first time, and she was giving me design tips, especially not to hit people so hard from jump. LOL

      • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        dont nobody got time for a tumblr lol…I paint a lot to release the energy. And wine helps too

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “I gaze at tiddy meat, booty meat, crotch meat…if I was a man, I would be that old greasy dude at the bar making passes at college coeds.”

      So…in other words, you’d be R. Kelly, no?

      • Todd

        The visual this gave me made me laugh. :)

      • http://www.TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        my mind’s telllinggg meee noooooooooooooo

        18yrs and up, tho.

  • Pierre

    It’s been a while since I’ve comment on any posts. My representative is Flo the Progressive girl or The lady from the popeyes Chicken Lady. Don’t judge me

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Sorry but, the Popeye’s chicken lady? I have to judge you.

      • Todd

        At least she can cook…and hopefully not out of a box like Montana DeLeon! Thank you Shamira for bringing that into my life!

        • Rachmo

          But why did I spend the next half hour watching her YouTube videos? She is a treasure.

          • LMNOP

            my favorite part of the breakfast video was the blueberry biscuits.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

              *runs into kitchen*

              Who said something about blueberry biscuits?
              And more importantly, where are they?

              • LMNOP

                This woman took biscuits out of the can stuck 3 blueberries on top of each one, put them in the oven and called them blueberry biscuits

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                  She’s gotta be from the projects…

                • Kema

                  Yes! I was like “What???!!!???”

                  • Shamira

                    girl you have to watch the vid below….the blueberry biscuits pale in comparison

                  • LMNOP

                    I just watched that. Wow.

                    • LMNOP

                      just watched the turkey mango brussels sprouts, I meant that comment to be after Shamira’s

                • 321mena123

                  You typed that with conviction.

                • WIP

                  ROTFL

                • Asiyah

                  LOL that is so cute

          • Shamira

            Y’all..her “jerk turkey” recipe has me questioning everything I ever learned about cooking.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC4DkkoodpY

            • Rachmo

              I just cracked up at this picture. I watched that and was like…what is…that…

              • Shamira

                What she does to those poor brussel sprouts is a crime against humanity.

            • 321mena123

              Please tell me she is in her early 20s. Please.

              • Shamira

                i’m pretty sure she’s in her 30s….i think she has like, 5 kids…

                • LMNOP

                  I hope they get school lunches…

                • 321mena123

                  I just don’t understand Shamira.

                  • Shamira

                    Girl, she put so much salt in those brussel sprouts….and then added ham. AND CRAISINS. Like…WUT O__o

                    • LMNOP

                      I think she seriously might have some kind of taste impairment or something. Like maybe something is wrong with her tongue?

                    • Shamira

                      also, those “potatoes au gratin” ….in the words of Inigo Montoya…”You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

                    • Thriftybynature

                      I kept thinking where is the cheese?

              • AfroPetite

                Why people always trying to pass off these ratchet 80′s babies on the Millennials? Naw, that’s y’all kinfolk right there with that faux-cooking nonsense. Y’all got it lol

                • LMNOP

                  OMG, there was this lady that had a whole show of faux-cooking on the cooking channel. She was like 50 too. Sandra Lee I think..

                  • Todd

                    And sadly, the First Lady of the State of New York. Governor Cuomo…*Kanye voice* DO BETTER!

                • 321mena123

                  LOL! According to the definition of millennial, i am in that group even though i swear to high heaven I am not. Someone combined Generation Y with the millennials. If this chick is IN her 30s, she is generation X. She is PJ and Champ’s people. Get it right AP. :-)

                  It amazes me that people of a certain age group do things for attention. That’s all. I usually don’t equate age for maturity but I do feel like once you reach a certain age, it’s time to stop with the nonsense. Like a trigger should go off in your head that says no.

                  How is this chick famous again?

                  • Obsidian Files

                    According to demographers, Generation X was born between 1965 and 1981-83 or so -around 20 years.

                    Quite a few people here would fit the description, I think…

                    O.

                  • AfroPetite

                    She’s light skinned and pretty. It don’t take much for some people regardless of the mundane things they do lol

                    • 321mena123

                      She is naturally VERY pretty. Strikingly so actually.

                      Men like pretty things. Point blank. Heck, look at the way gay guys stan for certain artists. They are just the extreme version.

                    • AfroPetite

                      Society is very much geared toward attractive people. They have been proven to get jobs and climb up the ranks of said jobs due to their prettiness/handsomeness. Can’t knock the pretty hustle.

                    • Obsidian Files

                      http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/06/its-okay-to-call-a-guy-creepy/277256/

                      It ain’t all gals here, in fact I would argue that it happens a lot more to guys than we may want to admit…

                      O.

            • JayIzUrGod

              You are so not allowed at Thanksgiving with me if you even think about bringing that.

              • Shamira

                LMAO. I can actually cook. I pinky swear.

                • Todd

                  *cries real tears* I’ve seen the pics, and I was talking about marrying you. I’d let ya keep your boyfriend and everything! :)

            • Yoles

              out of all the videos of hers i have watched this one was the one where i could figure out what she was going for… i have had jerk turkey many, many times in my life, nothing quite like how she does it but…

              mango is a common ingredient used in the sweet sauce that goes with jerk… true i have never seen it cut up and placed into the meat but i see where she is going…

              i thought the potato idea wasn’t bad… and that was the only thing she actually made from scratch so to speak…. it was basically chicken flavored baked potatoes with onions…

              i have never had brussels sprouts so i am not sure if boiling them is how they are typically made, i wasn’t feeling the crasins and pomegranate added but maybe its like cranberry sauce and turkey?

              • LMNOP

                You can boil brussels sprouts, but if you’ve never had them you should try them like this: Cut them all in half, mix them up with a little olive oil, salt and pepper, put them on a baking sheet and bake them at between 450-500 for about 10 minutes. SO good.

                I mean I got where she was going with the blueberry biscuits too…

                • Yoles

                  i never heard of fruit flavored biscuits before… i wonder if she meant to have muffins… those looked so crazy, my mind was blown

                • 321mena123

                  Yes. Or you can place them in a crockpot with a roast.

              • Shamira

                Mango jerk sauce isn’t what I was questioning….it was just plopping them in there with the TURKEY FROM A BOX. lmbo. like, girl (montana not you yolie lol), wut….

                With the potatoes, I was just confused as to why she would need to slow cook them for almost an hour before she was gonna plop them in the oven. And then threw what I think were bread crumbs….ontop of uncooked potatoes….that were gonna take a million years to bake…

                Like, when you realize it probably took her over an hour and a half to make THAT MEAL…it really makes me thank my lucky stars that my momma taught me my way around a kitchen.

              • Shamira

                Yoles have you watched her advice videos? Gold mines I tell you.

                She really is a sweet girl. She means so well. It almost makes me feel bad about commenting on her. But somebody needs to stop her.

                • Todd

                  Yeah…the part where she admitted to whipping tail was pure comedy gold…if not intended. LOL

      • Pierre

        Oh man :/

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Lol.

  • nillalatte

    Who sits at the table when you first meet somebody new? Um, well, that would be the observation me. I ain’t one to give up too much info on the first meet. I’m gonna listen and analyze EVERY word that comes out your mouth. I’m gonna ask more questions than give up answers. I’m gonna let you run yo’ mouth and then watch your body language. I’m gonna watch how you interact with others while we in public too. I’m gonna know if things are matching up or you making it up. You’re going to think I am shy and reserved, and to a point I am, until I’m comfortable with the ‘real’ you. But, that might take some time. Are you patient? I am.

    • Sahel

      Then if you met me,we would sit in silence because i enjoy watching facial expressions as you talk about yourself

      • nillalatte

        A player never gives up the game, playa. ;)

        • Sahel

          Huggy Bear fist pump

        • Obsidian Files

          @Ms. Nillalatte:
          The pupils (and cheeks) on a Woman, never lies, I’m afraid.

          O.

          • nillalatte

            ARGH… this thing is eating my comments again. I guess it’s in cyberspace waiting for delivery. Obsidian, I prefer not to say anything as to lie. I have a conscience. I’ll be true to myself though some people have problems with my direct communication style. I don’t try to harm anyone intentionally, but I do put it out there so there are no misunderstandings about where I stand.

            • Obsidian Files

              Medical science says otherwise…

              O.

              • Todd

                I’m with O on this one. It’s one of the benefits of dating a person of, um, European heritage. ;-)

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      “I’m gonna watch how you interact with others while we in public…”

      Yep, actions speak louder than words.

    • Asiyah

      That’s why Nilla and I share a birthday. We on that observation!

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    My representative’s name is Signe Devereux, she’s from New Orleans. She’s a op-ed columnist for The Harlem Times and appears regularly on MSNBC and Al Jezeera. When she was a guest on The View she called Sherri Sheppard a professional stereotype, then pulled her wig off and lit it on fire, while the crowd went “ewwww” and Barbara Walters caught the vapors.

    On Tuesdays she has lunch in the Village with Suheir Hammad. On Thursdays she has dinner with Keli Goff. On Fridays she has drinks with MC Lyte and Monie Love.

    She spends her weekends, in Summer, in Sag Harbor reading and entertaining guests. In Winter her weekends are spent at home in Mount Vernon making elaborate meals and watching documentaries.

    She hates designer clothes and has her own tailor in the Bronx make all of her clothing. She drives a midnight blue ’94 Saab 900. She owns and flies a Cessna 340. She also likes to ride her classic Schwinn bike in Van Cortlandt park.

    She has been secretly dating a well known Grammy winning R&B songstress for almost a decade.

    • AfroPetite

      what in the entire fcuk….

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        What? Lol.

    • Sahel

      Let me guess Alicia Keys

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        I can’t tell you, you know, because it’s a secret.

        • Sahel

          Still stalkerish

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Huh? Stalkerish? How’s that?

    • nillalatte

      Dang… I forgot PJ plays on Friday mess. I was gettin all seriously and shyt. Guess I have to sleep on my alter dating ego or work on one for a future event. :D Nah, I guess I would be… who is that girl that is like super woman, but plays a really shy awkward girl on a date and keeps her true identity hidden? – wonder girl? I can envision her, but I’m road worn right now and can’t think of the character or movie name. :(

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    And speaking of CB4, what’s up with that scene in the hotel room when MC Gusto is dressed up like a woman and almost kisses his boy? I just don’t get why that scene is in the film? Was that an outtake they forgot to take out?

    • Todd

      There were a lot of bizarre scenes in the film, like the one where the DJ is supposed to be scratching with his peen, when it’s obvious he’s wearing pantyhose. I don’t get that one.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Okay, well, I’ve only seen the TV edit of the film so. Lol That part wasn’t in there.

    • Brother Mouzone

      And speaking of CB4, what’s up with that scene in the hotel room when MC Gusto is dressed up like a woman and almost kisses his boy? I just don’t get why that scene is in the film? Was that an outtake they forgot to take out?

      See the Dave Chapelle interview with Oprah on wearing a dress in movies…that will give you your answer.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Okay, I’ll check it out. Thanks.

  • kidvideo

    On first dates I attempt to keep the mood light and make it an interrogation…I figure if I can get a broad to smile a couple of times, its a good chance we’ll be having breakfast also.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Broad though?

      • Sahel

        Dont get clutchy on us Val,its just an old school term

        • nillalatte

          And, you showing your VERY old school. Fa reals? Huggy bear? LOL

          • Sahel

            What can i say,i am what i am

            • nillalatte

              you couldn’t find someone a lil more hip than Huggy Bear?! LOL… I’m having a Starsky & Hutch moment here myself! I was like… dammmmmmmnnnnnnnn flash back of polyester, bell bottoms, and cat daddy mac days. BOL

              • Sahel

                It was either that or Happy Days

            • AfroPetite

              What are you? 56?

              • Sahel

                No,am not. But for you i can be

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Please don’t mention Clutch. You’re going to make me itch.

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            srsly what did Clutch do to you? lol

            • Sahel

              I say she dated one of the writers who got on and left her for a white girl

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                I see you have a new fan now, Sahel. Lol.

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              They seem to have ,in the last several months, decided the way to get clicks is to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

              • Obsidian Files

                It would make sense then, as to why you have such a visceral dislike for them; it takes one, to know one…

                O.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch. Clutch.

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              I think it probably hurts you more to say it then it does me to hear it, PA. Lol.

      • kidvideo

        Dame? Skirt? Vagina carrier?

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          I just find it interesting that men in general have so many names for women. And, most of them seem sort of passive-aggressive.

          • kidvideo

            I keep a thesaurus on me…might I well use it.

          • Sahel

            Feel free to use any of the words,no charge

          • Todd

            For some reason, this comment makes me think of the line from a Little Brother Song “My Black Nubian Queen…Ain’t no na’an n*gga!” LOL Still, people do it to the opposite gender all of the time. No biggie.

    • nillalatte

      dem must be some easy broads. you might want to upgrade, unless you particularly like drama, cause that sounds like drama coming out the wood work fa sho.

      • kidvideo

        Why would take a difficult broad home with me? I’m want to get laid, not argue.

        • nillalatte

          the kind you describe are creepers. they gonna find out where you live, what you drive, who you hang with… oh, yeah… drama.

          • kidvideo

            I didn’t give any descriptions or personality traits…and there are things you can look out for to give a clue ’bout if someone is a stalker…im not looking for wifey on a first date.

            • nillalatte

              Nah, most guys ain’t. They looking for the jumpoff, right? *smdh…. in the spirit of baseball SSSSSTTTTTRRRRRIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEEEEE………………….

              • Sahel

                At least we are honest And not trapping a mother…

                • kidvideo

                  Word…im not gonna sell you a dream…unless you want to be sold one.

                • nillalatte

                  Okay, you can walk to first base on that slider (no traps). On the honest part… Ha!.. .please. Y’all kill me with some ‘honesty.’ just sayin

                  • Sahel

                    One day you will realize that all us guys want to do,is make you happy. Hence we lay all our cards out to prevent misconceptions

                    • WIP

                      That ain’t never been true.

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                      Pessimist

                    • Sahel

                      Yeah.its sad so many women think like her smh

                    • WIP

                      and it’s sadder so many men have proven me right, lol

                  • Obsidian Files

                    http://www.justfourguys.com/lie-to-me/

                    I wouldn’t know about that…

                    O.

        • Sahel

          I hear you man. This aint a debate club

          • Rachmo

            Just cracked up at work due to this response

  • Inspector Ratchet

    Well, I act the same way in person as I do here. I like to use humor (a lot) to make everyone comfortable. As far as dating goes…

    My rep’s name is Captain Chivalry
    I am pretty much the most chivalrous guy ever at first. Until I get them drawz. See, I have this newly discovered condition that has baffled scientists everywhere. Once me and the enormously lucky lady have coitus for the first time, it causes a chemical shift in my brain that shuts down 95% of the Chivalry Cells located in the left hemisphere of the mind. Then I start to have epiphanies like,

    1. Why open this door for her, she has two whole hands. She can do it herself.
    2. Stop paying for everything. N*gga…you broke.
    3. So help me Yeezus, Justin if you take a bullet for this b*tch after you JUST learned how to make scrambled eggs……
    4. Don’t you dare go all the way over to her house just to cuddle because it’s “that time of the month”
    5. Make sure Kanye’s “I’m In It” is the ONLY song in your “Makin’ Love” iTunes playlist.

    • Inspector Ratchet

      But in all seriousness, I don’t have a rep. I just be myself (cliche’, yeah I know). I’m only 23, but I’ve quickly learned from personal experience that being humorous, laid back, and witty goes a long way. And that’s how I genuinely am so things work out decently for me.

      • AfroPetite

        You’re rude, laid forward, and unfunny sir….good day

        • Jay

          laid forward tho?

        • Madlark

          What does laid forward mean?

          • WIP

            LOL, opposite of laid back.

          • AfroPetite

            What does laid back mean? Where did it originate? Things that keep me up at night :-(

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

              maybe from a chaise lounge poolside at the Beverly Hills Hotel ? i be seeinn palm trees. or just trees. let me roll this first ~*~

    • Msdebbs

      Have we met??? I’ve been treated like that before…

    • http://recklessactsofpunctuation.tumblr.com/ dtafakari

      adorbs.

  • Jay

    I’m pretty self-deprecating so most females that I meet in person that I met first online are actually pleasantly surprised when we meet. Maybe I subconsciously plan it that way… **shrug**