Lists, Theory & Essay

Relationship Things That Stop Being Cute Past A Certain Age

phone sleepI don’t know at what point it happens. I wish I did because then I could tell you at what point it happens…but I don’t know so I can’t. The point here is that, it happens.

We all get old. Now this isn’t a bad thing and old is more of a state of mind anyway. I was almost sure when I was 21 that being 34 would basically be the point where I’d be chillin’ in the hiznayee for good. It turns out that 21 and 34 really aren’t that different. I mean I make a lot more money and have seen a lot more things but the fun hasn’t stopped. However, there are things that I used to do when I was 21 that I thought were so great and stuff that in my older state I wonder why anybody would do such things. They’re not only inconvenient, but impractical.

Here are a few things that seem so cute and sh*t in your youth(ness) but at some point, seem to be not as…cute (though admittedly, I’d probably still do them all because love. because heart.)

Three hour phone + calls that last into the wee hours of the morning

I’ve been on more than my fair share of REALLY REALLY long phone calls that last way longer than they probably should. Namely because I’ve been in quite a few long distance relationships. Here’s the thing, it’s not that a long ass phone call isn’t cutesy. Having that much to talk about with somebody…now that’s a beautiful thang. Shucks, I love it when I can talk to somebody and the party don’t stop til I run through it. However, at some point, when that convo starts at 1130pm and doesn’t end til 3am you know you’re losing out on? Sleep. You’re draggin’ a$$ the next day at work because you couldn’t tear yourself from the phone. And I know, nobody wants to get off the phone. Love and other drugs and sh*t. But sleep deprivation is real. I really enjoy sleeping.

Really, really long walks anywhere

I love taking long walks around the park after dark like anybody. Seriously, I do. But that’s a park. Let me tell you all a story. A few years back I ended up on a maybe 4 hour walk around the District of Columbia. The circumstances could be a made-for-tv movie, but I won’t get into those. The point was, stuff like, during the Cherry Blossom Festival no less, could be deemed romantic. And that sh*t is cool…until 3 hours into it you realize that you have to walk BACK to your car. My hitta my hitta, that walk back was BRUTAL. And there was a time when that walk back was still just part of the romanticism. At some point, you realize that your feet hurt because you don’t have on walking shoes. Folks ask for piggy back rides because they don’t want to walk back either. So yeah, cute and sh*t? Yep. Taking a 10 mile walk just cuz you’re in love and all that jazz? Yeah…no.

Skinny dipping

Have you ever been skinny dipping and tried to smash in a pool? That sh*t seems so caayute but as I’ve gotten older it just doesn’t have the same appeal. I can’t quite explain this one. I need help.

Matching…anything

You know, I can’t lie. At one point, I looked like the very kind of picture that would spread like wildfire on Twitter with the hashtag #matchinalfets. I did that. Somehow, a woman can’t convince a dude to do nearly anything. True story. If you care, you won’t fight every battle. One of those battles is the battle over matching. there have been times in my younger days where my color choices were remarkably similar to those of my woman. It may seem cute at the time – we love each other – that sh*t is just tragic after a certain point. There is never a way for that to be cool.

Petty fights that lead to makeup sex

While makeup lovin’ may be great…at some point you realize that fighting to get to it is REAAAAAALLY not the business. While you may think this is an odd addition, I know people who absolutely need dysfunction in order to feel love. Word up.

You know what, I have a few others, but I want to see what folks come up with to see if I’m right as rain on that front.

And just because it needs to be said, F*ck winter. 70 degrees on Saturday and SNOW on Sunday?????????? Somebody told Mother Nature that she was the sidechick. She no likey. She rebel.

So what say you? Are there things that stop being cute after a certain point? Hell, are there things that will NEVER not be part of the relationship equation? What you got?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

 

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • Johnmillah

    You know what else isn’t cute?! Not giving a &@&! when I was younger guys with the gangsta we don’t give a $&@ Onyx Attitude was sexy, dangerous and hoodrific-now it just seems like that attitude is for losers.com! Am I right?

    • Amethyst

      Yes u iz!

  • nillalatte

    PJ… this ish made me laugh.. out loud even. LOL The phone calls. I had a marathon phone call once. Did I say once? Yup. I had to plug in my charger to my cell and use my headset. When I finally hung up it was 8 hours and some odd minutes we’d been talking, to one person, all night. I told him, ‘Most men get a woman drunk to learn her secrets. You just make one delirious.” I got up two hours later and went to work. Stayed all day. But, you better believe it was rough more so that when I used to do it when I was younger. At least then I had jobs that were on my feet! The next night when we talked I told him that ish wouldn’t happen any more. Those were some d.e.e.p. conversations doe.

    Yes to chex in a hot tub. It’s not THAT great, but it is an experience. Note: do not fill the hot tub too full. Waves and ish. LOL

    Have you ever asked someone where was the most adventurous place you had chex? Some of the answers I have received have been interesting, to say the least. Maybe that is one as you get older too. When we’re younger we’re looking for odd places to get it in…a thrill all in itself… in a car at the end of an airstrip, on a pool table in a rec room, in a laundry room during an open house, in a phone booth. But, yeah, that’s probably more when you’re young and looking for that type of adventure. And, perhaps when you’re older the process of gettin’ it in becomes more relaxed and ‘comfortable’.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      When you live with 4 siblings, you gotta get creative, now I just think about potentially catching a case and I’m like….Nah.

      • LMNOP

        Yeah, if you HAVE to have chex in odd places that’s one thing, but if you have the option of a nice warm bed, why go crazy finding cold, uncomfortable, public places?

        • Kema

          You can have $ex in your bed any day. Changing it up a bit is exciting.

          • LMNOP

            I mean I sleep in my bed every night and never, ever think “let me switch things up and try sleeping on the kitchen floor tonight.”

            • afronica

              You’re unconscious while you sleep. Are you unconscious when you make it do what it do?

            • Kema

              Thats different though! A change in scenery gets the juices going. I’m not saying the change has to be an uncomfy one. Do it standing up and you can be comfy anywhere. :-)

          • nillalatte

            Virgo. LOL ;)

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        A teenage boy died not too long ago after the father of the girl he was smashing found him and shot him :-(

        • Yoles

          that story broke my heart… i feel so bad for the father, that girls family AND the boy and his family… in an attempt to prevent getting in trouble she denied knowing the boy (crying false rape) until it was too late… sad all the way around.. now her family is destroyed and his family is destroyed all because she didn’t want 1) corporal punishment 2) her things and privileges taken away 3) to get grounded 4) being sent away i.e. to a relative, boarding school etc 5) some other punishment none of which is ever worth a life… its a real shame

          • LMNOP

            The dad did have the option of not shooting the boy though. Its not all on the girl. (I’m not familiar with the details of this particular situation though)

            • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

              I have to put this on the girl though. People just don’t jump to “I’ll shoot any boy that tries to hump you!” There are a whole lot of missed red flags there.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                But had it been a son with a strange girl in his room do you think the father would have immediately thought about shooting her?

                • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                  I see your point on the sexist double standard. That said, I will say this. If someone’s first reaction to something they horribly disagree with is busting a cap in some a$$, this isn’t likely the first time they’ve flown off the handle.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    True. I mean, technically the teen was a stranger in his home and he had every right to tell him to leave. Shooting him was extra. If I ever have sons I feel like I’d be open to the possibility of allowing them to have chex in their rooms.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Let me see a random in my house, male or female, they might just get shot. I am not asking questions.

                    • 321mena123

                      No you wouldn’t. If they are a teenager in your son or daughter’s room, you aren’t going to shoot.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Ummmm yes. A teenager in Baltimore just ran up in someone house for a robbery and murdered someone in broad daylight.

                      Let someone come in my house at 2am, they are getting shot. I don’t have time to grill someone.

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      I’m OK with that so long as EVERYONE strange in your house gets that bullet. Now if you get selective, that’s another story.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      There wont be enough time to get selective.

                    • 321mena123

                      I can’t believe that. You are too rational to not bust in your daughter’s bedroom, ask them what in the world is going on, have your daughter say she doesn’t know the guy, and not really look at your daughter and know that the girl is lying.

                      That is a horrible mindset to have. I get not wanting strangers in your house and protecting your family but if i have a teenager (regardless of gender) and they say they don’t know the teenager that is with them in the room, my first thought is you are lying. I’m questioning everybody.

                      Sidenote: once the dad said he was calling the police, it looks like they got into an argument, the dad thought the kid reached for something, and then shot the kid. Nothing was on him. People need to chill out.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I’m with you Mena. My child ain’t above reproach and I’m a liar, I know when someone else is lying, especially a child…

                    • 321mena123

                      I really want the daughter to be tried with a crime. Like, i REALLY do.

                    • 321mena123

                      I really want the daughter to be tried with a crime. Like, i REALLY do.

                    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                      She didn’t commit a crime, she just have to live with his blood and whatever happens to her father

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Yea, that’s good enough for her lying behind. Maybe she’ll be more honest. Also, if the boy has any sisters, it’s only right that they catch her and whoop her behind to a bloody pulp.

                    • 321mena123

                      But one would think lying that led to death would have some type of punishment. Like crying wolf. I understand i just want her to receive a punishment. Then again, she’s 16 and was afraid of getting into trouble. She probably didn’t think her dad was going to kill him.

                    • Val

                      Sixteen year-old minds don’t function like adult minds. One of the problems I have with American society is treating kids like kids until they screw-up and suddenly expecting them to behave like adults. She’s a kid. She’s going to be punished for the rest of her life having to deal with what happened.

                    • 321mena123

                      I see that. I’m just upset by the entire situation.

                      You can’t tell me during the entire time the boy was pleading with the girl’s father, he didn’t drop bits of information like he knew the daughter. I’m sure the kid was pulling out every bit of information he knew about her so that he could go home in one piece.

                    • ForeverCC

                      if there was enough time to plead anything, i don’t understand why the father shot him…am i missing something? earlier in the thread it made it seem like the father came to find out who was in the room (with his gun), and the daughter said she didn’t know him. conversations were taking place?!?!

                    • 321mena123

                      An argument ensued, the father thought the kid reached for something, and shot him.

                    • Val

                      Yeah, if the boy knew her name that alone should have been reason to pause. But we don’t know how fast all of this happened. Plus, was it dark and the father probably had been sleep. Lots of confusion.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Exactly. So while it is sad the kid got shot, I understand why it happened. You got folks making decisions based on:

                      1. faulty faculties
                      2. lies

                      Things cant help but wrong in these types of cases

                    • 321mena123

                      Agreed but there was enough time for arguing.

                    • Tentpole

                      Yes they do function like adults. The problem is adults want to treat their kids like they are cute puppies.

                    • LMNOP

                      I don’t get what you’re saying. No one shoots cute puppies.

                    • Tentpole

                      When parents don’t teach, children don’t learn and dumb stuff will happen

                    • LMNOP

                      Oh, okay. Also when you don’t teach cute puppies how to act they grow up to be bad dogs.

                    • Val

                      The frontal lobe does not fully develop until a human is in their 20s. That’s the part of the brain where decisions are made. So, nope, their minds are not adult minds and their choices are not adult choices. And, I think it’s a cop out for society to suddenly treat kids like adults when they mess up.

                    • 321mena123

                      Val is correct. Kids don’t view consequences nor decisions the same way adults do. They simply don’t. Studies have been done on this and is one of the reasons why i am against, unless the crime is horrendous, a child being charged as an adult.

                    • LMNOP

                      You know what is really horrible? Elementary school teachers calling the police on their students.

                    • Val

                      And even worse is that police have actually arrested little elementary school kids. With handcuffs and everything. WTF.

                    • LMNOP

                      I know. It is just so wrong. Taking little children away in handcuffs… and sometimes for things like talking back, which is not remotely close to being a crime.

                      In the incredibly unlikely event that a six year old actually poses a danger to themselves or others that cannot be managed by school staff, they need to call mental health crisis, not the cops.

                    • ForeverCC

                      i’ve heard of something like this happening before (except it was a grown woman), and she was charged with something. basically she set the situation for what happened…i can’t remember enough details to find it though…

                    • LMNOP

                      If someone is killed while any crime is being committed, anyone involved in the crime can be charged with felony murder. So maybe they could make a case that she was helping someone break and enter into her parents’ home (I don’t know if that is even possible, helping someone break into your own home) and then he was killed during a crime she was involved in, that’s felony murder.

                    • LMNOP

                      Which is a weird thing to call it because I’m pretty sure ALL murders are felonies.

                    • ForeverCC

                      the case i’m thinking of the woman said she was being raped and her husband shot him (i can’t remember if he died). but i think she actually lied to the police, too – which resulted in additional charges.

                    • LMNOP

                      Oh, that happened in scandal too.

                    • ForeverCC

                      i’ve seen it on tv a few different times, too. i think law&order did something like that a while back

                    • Val

                      *rolls eyes at L for bringing up that show*

                    • LMNOP

                      lol, and you know what? I typed it and thought to myself “this is not even remotely relevant at all” and then clicked post.

                    • LMNOP

                      lol, and you know what? I typed it and thought to myself “this is not even remotely relevant at all” and then clicked post.

                    • LMNOP

                      lol, and you know what? I typed it and thought to myself “this is not even remotely relevant at all” and then clicked post.

                    • Val

                      Now see, if a man sneaks into another man’s house in the middle of the night to have chex with that man’s wife then he should know he has a very good chance of being killed. That’s some Russian roulette chex for sure.

                    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                      She lied, but to reasonably expect her father to kill him is a huge reach

                    • ForeverCC

                      she may not have known that her father was going to kill him. i don’t know what ages were involved, but she DID know that saying she was raped would get this boy in a ton of trouble (and take the spotlight off of her which was her intent). it’s sad all the way around…i just can’t imagine ever thinking that would be the best way to get out of trouble…

                    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                      I feel like he should know better…she at the age of chexual activity. That daddy’s lil girl sh t only flies for so long

                    • Epsilonicus

                      No offense, that is easy for you to say in your context.

                      In my context, it makes perfect sense, knowing what has been happening crime-wise. It would make sense that at 2am, your child says that person is a stranger, you may shoot and then ask questions.

                    • 321mena123

                      None taken. We’re cool.

                      Eps, i am trying to put myself in the situation. I am not trigger happy and the LAST thing i want to do is end someone’s life. I’m not shooting first especially after i have already called the police.

                      I’m waiting for more details to come out like was the kid reaching to put his clothes back on, was he reaching for a jacket to leave, etc.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      It is the last thing I want to do too. But in a moment of quick decisions, things happen. I cannot be upset if someone took that route. I know that is easy to say because that was not my child dying. However, using an objective lens, I can see why someone would go that route.

                    • afronica

                      My first thought on this is that the father should have been able to see the forest for the trees on this. She was chexing, clearly.

                      But I will say that if you live in a rough enough neighborhood, your reactions change. For part of my childhood, I lived in a neighborhood bad enough that people broke into our house while my mom and I were sleeping. We hid in the bathroom until it sounded like whoever it was had left the house. We then fled out the side door to the car and got out of there. We were lucky that the burglars were clearly not interested in interacting with anyone. Our next door neighbor was not so lucky. The people that broke into her house killed her by slamming a rifle butt into her head.

                      When you live in neighborhood like that, you really do live by the cliche of shoot first and ask q’s later.

                    • afronica

                      Mods, please release me, let me go.

                    • 321mena123

                      They don’t want to.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      What were you going to say?

                    • afronica

                      It may now be appearing below. But basically, that I lived in a really seriously bad neighborhood for a while as a kid. In that kind of neighborhood, you really do shoot first and ask questions later. If you don’t in that kind of area, you might just end up dead. I don’t know anything about the neighborhood where this happened, though.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Exactly.

                      It is overall a sad situation. But I can see why something like this would happen and no one goes to jail. It is easy for us because that was not someone in our child’s room. We are outside looking in. But let us be in that situation at 2am, and some of us may have a different reaction than what we are saying right now .

                    • Val

                      Unfortunately America is a place where people with guns shoot first and ask questions later.

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    “If someone’s first reaction to something they horribly disagree with is busting a cap in some a$$, this isn’t likely the first time they’ve flown off the handle.”

                    This.
                    In relation to this specific incident, my mother caught me with a friend in the house and her first reaction was to sit down and preach to us for three hours straight and THEN kick him out. I don’t know that she ever thought of shooting him (Me maybe) and she’s a crack shot.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I blame her for the boys death. Why lie about knowing him? He’s in your room at 2am. Of course you know him. Yes, she didn’t want to get in trouble but why lie at this point? I think the father was going on emotion and nothing else. I bet had it been a girl he caught in his teenage son’s room things would’ve went down differently.

            Men are super supportive of their sons having chex but apparently their daughters have to stay chaste until they marry at 55….double standards.

            • LMNOP

              Oh he was in her room at 2 in the morning and she said he was some random guy broke in and raping her?!? That’s awful.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                Idk if she cried rape but I know she acted like he was a stranger which led her father to react the way he did.

            • 321mena123

              This entire comment is the truth.

            • Epsilonicus

              ” I bet had it been a girl he caught in his teenage son’s room things would’ve went down differently”

              We don’t so lets not make assumptions.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                Whatever. Men aren’t shooting or talking about strapping up when they find out they are expecting sons. They only talk about sharing their interest with their sons and raising them up to be a “man’s man”. Daughters though? Nah, men get to talking about how they can’t date anyone, how they’re going to keep XYZ weapon on hand, etc. they even make onesies that say “Daddy is my boyfriend”. Miss me with that.

                • Epsilonicus

                  I think it is a big assumption to think that every man is going to be ok with it. I know some dads who would not.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    Fine, “some”.

                  • ForeverCC

                    MOST dads i know would not be okay with that. they’re not coming out guns blazing…but they’re definitely not okay with it

          • 321mena123

            I haven’t heard that she called rape. I blame her first and then the father. Men need to realize that they don’t own their daughter’s bodies. Point blank. You see a teenage boy in your daughter’s room and can’t put two and two together. Miss me with that. She isn’t your princess. She is fsucking. Get over it. Now, a teenage boy is dead because you decided to shoot instead of thinking.

            • Epsilonicus

              Look at it this way.

              You see some random dude in your house at 2am. Your first thought might be to shoot him. Especially if your son or daughter says they don’t know this guy.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                I hope your future children don’t ever wind up in a similar situation then.

                • Epsilonicus

                  If you heard about what happened in Baltimore where some teens ran up in a house and murdered someone in broad daylight, you would understand where I come from. At 2am, there should be NO strangers in the house. Plain and simple. If I go into my child’s room and they say there is a stranger in their room, you damn right I am shooting.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    Like I said, I hope your kids don’t find themselves looking down the barrel of a gun because they wanted some chex from a boyfriend/girlfriend and the person at the other end of said gun has your mindset. You’re telling me you’d cosign a parent killing your child based on your logic? If you are then kudos to you for being trill as fugg and unbiased.

                    • 321mena123

                      No one would. Kids sneak into rooms all the time to get some. Boys, especially, don’t think when it comes to getting some and will go to great lengths to get some tail. If it were my son, i would want them to call the cops and me.

                      I also agree with you, if the tables were turned and this was a girl sneaking into the sons room, she wouldn’t have been shot.

                  • ForeverCC

                    i’m sure my husband would do the same. he’s going to try to determine what’s going on (very quickly) before shooting/apprehending…but he will definitely have the gun cocked and ready if our child is saying “a stranger is in my room!”

                    • Epsilonicus

                      In the middle of the night, you waking up, and your child says there is a stranger in the room. You are not of the mndset to ask a whole lot of questions. Especially when there have been teens running up in nice homes killing people in broad daylight while conducting home robberies.

                    • ForeverCC

                      i agree. my husband used to be a police officer – he’s not necessarily asking questions…but has been trained to try to determine the situation before shooting (that’s all i was saying).

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      That’s not what happened. One of the dad’s other children told him that the daughter had someone in the room. It wasn’t some random happenstance of him finding some intruder sneaking in the window.

                    • 321mena123

                      Correct.

                    • Kema

                      Didnt the boy say her name while claiming he knew her?

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I am not sure but I wouldn’t be surprised if this were the case.

                    • 321mena123
              • Sigma_Since 93

                The challenge / fallacy here is that your daughter, at that age knows, to scream unless he’s choking her out.

                • Epsilonicus

                  You would be surprised at how people react when in danger. Folks will lock up and not say a word.

                  • LMNOP

                    So true. Fight, flight or freeze. Freezing has a lot of evolutionary advantages, so we are hardwired to respond to threatening situations like that pretty regularly.

                    • Val

                      You know that deer freeze when in front of oncoming cars at night, right. Most people think they freeze because they’re afraid but it turns out that they just can’t see. Headlights blind them. So they stop until they can see again.

                    • LMNOP

                      I didn’t know that. Many animals will freeze and play dead when being attacked by a predator and can’t outrun it. Either they are left alone or they feel less pain when they are killed. People who are attacked by other people will have the same reaction sometimes, like feel paralyzed and sometimes dissociate.

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    I get it but pops was also sloppy too. You didn’t get her checked out at the hospital? No police report or arep kit to show forced entry and a seamen sample???? How do you not know the sounds within your own house? A cricket couldn’t fart in my house without me looking around. No squeaky bed, no floor thumping???? I’m just sayin.

            • ForeverCC

              it’s monday, i’m tired, and i may be reading this wrong. but are you really saying that a father should assume a daughter is having consensual secks when he finds a boy/man (i have no idea how old these kids are) in her room in the middle of the night AND she’s saying it’s a stranger???

              • 321mena123

                I’m saying that if i find a teenager in my kid’s room, my first assumption will be my child let the kid in. If the person is wearing a mask, threatening my kid, etc., that’s different. But i heard one too many times when i was in high school of friends sneaking in their significant others into basements and bedrooms.

                Edit: I let a boy into my mama’s house for 2 hours when my mom was at work. I told him to walk over so that if she did come home, he could go out the back and she wouldn’t see his car in our driveway. I was 15 and he was 18.

                • ForeverCC

                  hmmm…interesting.

                • Sigma_Since 93

                  I’ve hidden under beds for hours waiting until parentals fell asleep / took baths / went to the bathroom so I could escape.

                  • 321mena123

                    Yep. I have heard the stories. Heck, i was one of the stories as i mentioned up thread.

                    • Kema

                      Like the Taco Bell commercial where the father is chasing a boy down the street after finding him with his daughter.

                    • 321mena123

                      It is accepted for men to behave like cavemen over their daughter’s. It’s not cute.

                • Tentpole

                  and you are one of the smart ones. You considered the consequences of your actions and planned for success.

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    The problem is everyone’s got a plan until your plan fails.

                    • Tentpole

                      but all plans aren’t smart.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      I can bet my bottom dollar her plan wasn’t smart. Denying seemed better than acceptance at that point.

                • Kema

                  I tried to hide my bf in the closet. Didnt work out. Mom found him.

                  • Val

                    Did he make noise or did you just look guilty?

                    • Kema

                      Probably a bit of both with a little bit of younger brother snickering added to the mix.

                    • Val

                      Lol@snickering little brother

                • Val

                  I had a girl over once after school. My mom came home from work and went upstairs while we were hiding in the basement. We came up to the main floor and I quietly opened the front door and then closed it loudly and pretended like we had just walked in. It worked.

                  And when I was at my dad’s I had a girl over and he and my stepmom came home. We ran into the bathroom and I turned on the shower and pretended I was taking one. They said hello and asked if I wanted to go with them to get something to eat. Of course I said no. Lol

                  I’ve had quite a few close calls.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            This is what I’m trying to protect my son from. If / when my son thinks about becoming active, bring / sneak her into my house. It’s hard to say you don’t know him when ol boy ain’t driving and won’t be any time soon.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Plus there’s that decreased flexibility thing. Even if you avoid the case, there might be strains and sprains where they weren’t before, nahmean.

      • LMNOP

        I think most people don’t end up with chex-related sports injuries…

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          I keep re-reading this comment, and it doesn’t compute. I mean how to the action get going if you don’t move. I mean, I dunno. I’m confused.

          • LMNOP

            I thought people usually get sprains from things like long distance running. I don’t really know, maybe I am just lucky and not prone to spraining.

          • LMNOP

            Now I’m thinking about this and trying to imagine what you could sprain during chex… I think the main joint you move is your hips and I’ve never heard of hips spraining. You move your hips all the time just in normal life, walking, bending, turning around, pretty much every movement you ever make in life involves your hips, so they should be used to moving. I could see someone maybe pulling those thigh muscles that you feel if you do a split.

            If you’re incorporating serious strength training into chex, you should market that, write a book or something “chex for physical fitness and weight loss.” People would buy that.

            • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

              The thing about $ex is that it’s all about core strength. If you don’t have control of it, or something goes wrong, you will FEEL that, bigtime. Your hips, abs, back and thighs have to be a well-oiled machine or else, it will not be alright. Though the core training aspect is something that needs to be pushed. Hmmm..

              • LMNOP

                I tried to edit my comment free like 8 times, but yeah, that makes sense. The core muscles are what you use to move your hips, right? I was picturing you on a cane with your arm in a sling and just thinking “wtf are you doing in bed anyways?”

      • nillalatte

        What kinda chex you having? LOL

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Suffice to say I like to get up, get into it, get involved. I’m not one for gentle lovemaking, especially since I’ve gone solo now.

    • Sandpaper

      “Have you ever asked someone where was the most adventurous place you had chex?”

      Inside the stacked tractor tires on a playground.

      • nillalatte

        LOL… see?! How about under a cabana, next to a pool, on a raft? Try not bursting the raft! LOL
        Thanks for playing.

    • Malik

      I’m out here for high quality ish. I’m not interesting in telling an interesting story about having chex on a fire escape during a relative’s party while it is the dead of NY winter.

      • nillalatte

        eh hem, my dear Malik, MARRIED couples have ‘adventurous’ chex too. Trust. Oh, you think that hot tub stuff was with some random guy? Please.

      • nillalatte

        My bad Malik. I totally read your response wrong, and then, as I’m driving down the highway (nothing to do but think) I realized what you were saying! Thanks for playing. Sorry I was too tired to ‘get it.’ LOL

    • towninc

      i think you get hurt if you’ve been drinking (watermelon, sorry i couldn’t resist) and thinking you are an
      acrobat. otherwise you know what you can and can’t do and you know what
      it takes and doesn’t take to get the ultimate goal for both.

      • Lea Thrace

        I just learned what “watermelon” meant this past weekend. I kind of wish I hadn’t.

        • Epsilonicus

          what does it mean?

          • Lea Thrace

            see my reply to PhlyyPhree. disqus/moderation is being straight up disrespectful today.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Will you share?
          Each one teach one?
          Cause I have theories but I STILL don’t know.

          • Lea Thrace

            Drinking watermelon = swallo wing seeds = cleaning up the end result of fella -tio with ya mouth.

            • Val

              Why do they always pick food?!

              • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                What metaphors would you prefer?

              • afronica

                It’s so very George Costanza. I want it to stop.

            • Epsilonicus

              Meh.

            • PhlyyPhree

              oHHHHHHH. So my theory was pretty much right. Welp

            • Sigma_Since 93

              Wow……………….The more you know.

  • HRH Prince Farouk I

    The phone calls are definitely not my ish. If you know I have work tomorrow and you make me feel guilty when I say babe I got to go, you must be super selfish because me and sleep deprivation leads to really bad moods and all round inefficiency at work. Trying to get a brother fired? What’s worse is that due to this humid African weather sometimes when I talk too long on the phone my ears start to sweat. Yep my ears start to sweat!

    Somewhat related thing that stops being cute is the partner that keeps talking at ferrari speed and gives you so much information at once yet gets upset when you interrupt them to respond one topic at a time before she unloads 20 topics and you forget the first thing she was talking about. Never happened to you? Well happened to me, this girl would go full on soliloquy and not expect me to respond until she finishes a 20 minute story or combination of short stories. She would get upset if I try to make a response because it meant “I was not listening”. Solution? I just lets her talk on and on while watching tv and gave her the “oh wow, that interesting” response.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      She be extra passive aggressive like “don’t let me keep you up” and I be like, “you right, goodnight”

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

        Or three consecutive nights of phone calls that last between 2.5-4 hours plus texting all day, but then you have minimal contact 1 day and it’s “you never talk to me . . .” (._. ) ( ._.)

        (?°?°??? ???

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          I think homegirl in that scenario needs to understand the concept of boundaries. Yep.

          Oh, and cool emoticons by the way.

          • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

            That’s not the norm for human communication?

            • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

              No. That’s a problem. If homegirl is flipping out over not constantly being in touch, that is as healthy as chainsmoking Camels while drinking Everclear and doing 100 on the New Jersey Turnpike…backwards.

              • Malik

                I mean it’s been multiple women though. I thought women just really really liked talking on the phone for really long intervals.

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  I love talking on the phone :-D! Hate texting if it isn’t supplemented with phone calls.

                • Kema

                  Well if you did a fun drug for 3 consecutive nights and then on the fourth night there was none you would feel some kinda way. Basically you were making it a habit and she wondered why you were breaking the habit.

                • afronica

                  Hate to be that one, but I’m not much for the phone. I prefer texting because it usually forces people to be concise.

                  Girlfriends of mine do get upset with me from time to time, though. “What do you mean, you have to get off the phone? We just started talking.” Me, silently: *ugh.*

                  • Val

                    It’s the contrast between the younger me, who has done several all night phone calls, to the me now who debates answering the phone every time it rings, that amazes me.

                    • afronica

                      I only did one all night phone call when I was 16/17, and it was magical (shout out to Randy!). I have always screened phone calls, heavily.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I am the same way.; Sometimes I do not answer the phone precisely because I know the convo will not be short.

              • HRH Prince Farouk I

                Good ol’ everclear

      • HRH Prince Farouk I

        Exactly! Yo, we aint talking about the same girl?

      • sincereluv4life

        Lmao

    • WIP

      “gave her the “oh wow, that interesting” response”

      LOL, sometimes that’s all people really want- an airing of grievances.

      • HRH Prince Farouk I

        Lol. I guess so. Well at least allow me to ask questions to clarify your grievance along the way so i m not lost

        • LMNOP

          That just makes it go on longer. Better to just make listening noises periodically like “mmm,” or if they seem real upset “damn…” and just let them get it out of their system.

  • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

    I like doing all of those outside of matching outfits.

    ( ._.)

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      You’re disgusting Malik.

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

        You know I’m corny.

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          Ewww. Fuggin “Eskimo kisses”, cuddle, touching, so incredibly gross. I want to punch you in the chest sometimes just to make sure I’ve got sufficient amounts testosterone in me.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            What about palming to the bootay?

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              Acceptable and encouraged.

          • Yoles

            you don’t like men that like to touch and cuddle???????
            you on your own with that one young one…
            human touch is the BEST… touch me all the damn time.. morning, noon and night… rub me up, hold me tight, grasp, squeeze, linger all that.. i am HERE for it ALL DAY EVER DAY

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              Ughhh no. If I’m being touched it needs to be in preparation for chex. I don’t like PDA. I don’t need to hold your hand as we walk down the street. I’ve never been one to like touch. I’ll do post coital snuggling but even that has a limit for me.

              • LMNOP

                I hate post coital snuggling.

                • gem

                  I thought i did too, till it was THE ONE

              • Yoles

                PDA isn’t all as$ grabs and tongue kisses though… its him leading you in a room by placing his hand on the small of your back, its him holding your arm/elbow/hand while crossing the street, its him running his hand across your exposed skin absentmindedly, its him moving your hair out of your face, him fixing something on your clothes or removing a piece of lint, its grazing your cheek with his… its subtle intimacy shown via personal touch… I AM HERE FOR ALL OF IT

                • Val

                  I agree. It’s not the grand shows of affection I like it’s the small ones throughout the day that mean everything.

                • Rachmo

                  The back of shoulder kiss as he walks by. *sighs*

                  • afronica

                    *swoons*

                    • Rachmo

                      *snaps out of daydreams about forehead kisses* Oh hello there

                    • afronica

                      *walks into a wall thinking about neck kisses* Rachmo, happy snow day to ya!

                    • Rachmo

                      *thinks screw it and lays head on afronica’s shoulder* I’m good, being rebellious at work being on here

                    • afronica

                      we’ll be very quiet so your boss (and your bf) won’t hear

                  • Epsilonicus

                    This is very productive with the wife.

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  I dislike 90% of the things you just posted. I’m really squeamish. I don’t like men touching me if it isn’t directly connected to impending chex. I don’t like it. Don’t touch my arm. Especially don’t touch my face. I just dislike touch and nothing about it is romantic or sensual to me. I get extremely uncomfortable with all the things you just mentioned.

                  • Val

                    We’re not talking about random people touching you, AP. We’re talking about affection between lovers.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I understand this Val. I’m still not very fond of it. I do not respond well to touch from lovers. I understand this not to be the norm but I really get nothing from it and don’t desire to be touched/caressed.

                  • LMNOP

                    Does that bother you? Because I am pretty much the same way about not liking to be touched and it kind of makes me sad.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Yes it does. Like I love you and everything but don’t touch me. I have a hard time communicating that with partners because they get offended and take it personally. I don’t need to be touched, or caressed, or held though. It’s too much for me. I feel like I’m being over stimulated and I just can’t deal with it.

                  • SuperStrings

                    “I don’t like men touching me if it isn’t directly connected to impending chex.”
                    so touching with an immediate goal in mind.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              Keep Hot Toddin like you have been and that shouldn’t be an issue………………….

            • Rachmo

              *snuggles close* I also heart touching

              • Yoles

                we can cuddle ANY time Rach

                • Val

                  *gets a likkle jealous*

                  • Yoles

                    you come too pretty lady…

                • Rachmo

                  *fist pumps*

            • Rachmo
            • Epsilonicus

              I want in on this cuddlefest!

          • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

            Lol no. You’d get cold emotionally dead disassociate Malik who left immediately after Ifinished

          • Val

            *looks at Malik* *looks at AP*

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              what?

              • Val

                Lol. Nothing. :-)

                Btw, what’s up with your team letting Steve go?

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  I don’t want to talk about it. I cried my last tears and then they let Mike Mitchell, Brandon Lafell, and the rest of the receiving core get snatched up. The Panthers are looking so dismal and all because Jerry Richardson is cheap and doesn’t want to pay players anything over $100,000/year. I hate him and I wish for his swift death daily.

                  • Val

                    The Panthers were so close to a Super Bowl. Now it’s going to take 5 years to re-build and become a play-off ready team again. Cheap owners suck.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I don’t even understand his logic in being a cheap franchise owner. How does it benefit you to save money on these bottom of the barrel players and miss out on a ring year after year? Then he has the nerve to demand money from the city of Charlotte to upgrade the stadium while in the same breathe giving the college down the street money to build their OWN football stadium so he can have his name on it?! BYEEEEEE

                  • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                    He’s not worse than James Dolan. He isn’t. I’m sorry. I want James Dolan’s head on a pike on the Manhattan portal to the Lincoln Tunnel just as a warning to other NY sports owners.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      How is James Dolan worse?! In what ways?!

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      To avoid injuring myself and being in more pain today, I will keep it brief. But when you are in a place that’s so passionate about basketball that you can regularly sell out the arena for a 20-win team, and you proceed to take advantage of that devotion to fulfill various petty disputes and vendettas with no regard to the success of the team, that’s cruel.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      No one likes the Knicks though. NY has an abundance of teams they can choose to side with. The Carolinas share one team. We don’t get options. Richardson is worse.

                    • Val

                      I get your point even though you guys have two teams. (the Hornets or whatever they’re called now) But, I have to disagree. NYC is the basketball capitol of the world. And the Garden is basketball’s Mecca. So to fail the way the Knicks have is almost sacrilegious.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      The last time the Hornets were formidable was when they had Muggsy. Do you know how long ago that was?! Do you?!!

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      It’s hard to explain how big a deal basketball is in New York. Probably the closest thing is football in Texas in how it permeates all levels of the sports culture. Our summer leagues draw more than a lot of DI colleges and draw guys like Kobe Bryant and Kevin Durant for guest appearances. You can only imagine what the Knicks are about. For someone to screw that up so regularly is an accomplishment.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I’ll be blunt. I don’t like NY. I don’t like NY teams. I don’t like Northeast teams in general. Seeing them fail is always wonderful for me.

                    • LMNOP

                      lol. You will be a hilarious doctor.

                    • LMNOP

                      lol. You will be a hilarious doctor.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      :-) aww thank you!!

                    • Val

                      Yeah, your bedside manor is going to be a trip. Lol

                • Epsilonicus

                  He is gonna go beast mode this season for the Ravens. Watch.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    Can you not? Thanks. I’m not looking forward to this season. We also play the Ravens this year -__-

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Your team will lose. Don’t worry.

                  • Val

                    Yep, he’s got something to prove now.

                  • Val

                    Yep, he’s got something to prove now.

                  • Medium Meech

                    Ozzie knows about snatching older receivers and watching them produce. Derrick Mason, Anquan Boldin…

                    • Epsilonicus

                      As we say in Baltimore, in Ozzie we trust.

            • afronica

              “It’s a thin liiiine,…”

            • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

              :|

              stop.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

    Speaking of sleep deprivation, late night booty calls…over it. You coming thru, ima need to see you in primetime because you hit me up coming from the club you gonna be heated when I fall asleep and you drove all the way out there and the bottom door is locked so u can’t even come and knock. This may have happened a few times.

    Traveling long distances- I was at Amherst and my girl at the time lived in RI, a good two hours away and guess who was going back and forth because I just didn’t want to be the guy who left his girl to get them shots off in the dorms….never again.

    Emojis in the contact- maybe I’m in the minority here but when I got ya number u was stored as what ya mama called u, and that’s how u remind. Ima grown man I’m not storing you as “My Queen ????????????????????”

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      After watching the NCAA selection show, just be glad you went to UMass. I have a dream…a dream that the Rutgers men’s basketball team will make the NCAA basketball tournament. I have a dream.

      But the late night booty call movement is shut down here. I recently had to hit a woman with the “bish bye” after she suggested that.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        The football team went 1-11, this is as good as it gets

    • HRH Prince Farouk I

      Ha! I once told a girl to come through while she was out partying and before she got to my place I had fallen asleep. She knocked and knocked and called but what can I say I was in that deep sleep. Never got another chance to smash after that. Oh well.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      I’ve never understood that phone emoji thing. Probably because I’ve never had an iPhone lol But I also put in my significant other’s name as his government or whatever shorted version of his government that he prefers. One, I don’t need my phone ringing and someone else be around it before I get to it and seeing some inappropriate ish pop up as his caller ID. Two, I’ve never been big on pet names in general. Bae/baby really do annoy me but the guys I’ve talked to have used it with their exes and apparently that’s a hard habit to break so I let them use it with me and I struggle using it in return :- Maybe I need to start dating 40 year men who use better pet names….

      • ForeverCC

        my husband’s full government name is stored as his contact info – including “III” lol he laughed when he saw it…

    • Epsilonicus

      What is an emoji?

      • LMNOP

        those little yellow smiley faces.

        • Epsilonicus

          Ahhhhh. I am such a child of the 90s…

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            You’re not even that old. You have all of 3 years on me -____- calm down.

            • Epsilonicus

              Look young Padawan lol

              Aint nobody ask you for all that hahaha

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                We were in high school at the same time. Chill lol You and Malik swear y’all are 45 and going through mid-life crises. Y’all young as hayle. Embrace your generation!

                • Epsilonicus

                  It is the burden of wisdom.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    You’re still wet behind the ears.

              • LMNOP

                I’m older than both of you and I know what emojis are.
                Because my 7 year old wanted me to get an emoji app on my phone.

                • Epsilonicus

                  See I don’t have little ones to keep me in the know lol.

        • afronica

          …and the eggplants and the broken hearts and the praying hands and the crying faces…I’m getting little annoyed with all the emoji use. Oh yeah, and get off my lawn! *shakes fist in air*

          • LMNOP

            eggplants lol, just what everyone needs to punctuate their sentences.

    • Kema

      Tristan… If you go to sleep during whats supposed to be my drunk booty call imma probably throw rocks at your window. Humph! If you really wanted me to come through you would have left the door open.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        But see what had happened was…

  • Geneva Girl

    I always had the skinny dipping fantasy. You know, getting it on in the pool. Then, I married a ninja who can’t swim. Doing the do in the kiddie pool just ain’t happenin’!

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      So he sposeda drown in it while he drown in it

    • LMNOP

      I think you’d have to do it in a shallow enough place to touch, otherwise you might drown even if you can swim. I’ve heard that’s not as great as it sounds though.

    • Lea Thrace

      Nope. Cant do the skinny dipping thing. Ever heard of the Candiru? I did. Way back in 1999. Then in 2007 from Grey’s Anatomy. Fish swims up and into your private bits. Then it sets up shop and just chills while eating your soft tissues.

      I’m good. I am soooo good on that. Just so many levels of NOPE. I could barely get into any body of water after that.

      • LMNOP

        WTF? Is that a real thing? And if it is, it sounds like something that would live in warm, far away places. And definitely not in pools.

        • Lea Thrace

          It’s real. And while it is localized to South America, hearing about it and other genital loving parasites has sufficiently scared me away from being adventurous in water.

          • LMNOP

            Just the phrase “genital loving parasites” is scary.

            • Lea Thrace

              “genital loving parasites” is also how I refer to one particular ex bf. lol

  • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

    Somehow, I must have missed the memo about it being cute to fight and smash. I never, ever, ever played those games. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t fight much and when I do, the only walls I want to bust down are those of whatever dwelling you’re in. Nothing makes me more terry cloth soft down there than a fight. Miss me with that mess. And thanks to me being so tall, I never get the matchy-matchy outfit game. I do get the whole “lemme where your shirt as a dress because I think that’s cute” game, so I haven’t missed out too much.

    In terms of the skinny dipping, all I have to say is #surfboart. Though it creeps me out when I hear my daughter singing it. I don’t think it means what you think it means young lady.

    As for my contribution, I’m reminded of what LMNOP saying about my relations sounding like Crossfit. And I also remember afronica saying that what I’m into sounds way too much like submission. Well, after a weekend of mixing one form of exercise with, um…another, my body is starting to agree with those 2. From the neck up, I’m Happy. From the neck down, I feel like I went 15 rounds with Mike Tyson. Recovery time increases with age. And maybe I need to reconsider this whole…emotional intimacy and “vanilla” dating thing. LOL

  • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

    Even in college, I was known as the girl who LOOKED for a reason to cancel plans (rain, snow, clouds, pollen, hangnail, etc). I’ve embraced my elderly ways, I even revel in them sometimes. I cannot party late night anymore. I just cant. If I get to a party at 10pm, I am visibly yawning by 12:15am. You dont invite me out before 9pm and I promise I’m not going. 1am text messages saying “come thru” WILL be ignored. Bunni be tired and I love my sleep more than EVERYTHING.
    My compromise and newfound love has been day drinking, day parties, and late lunches (aka my dinners). Wanna meet up for shots at noon? IM THERE! Bottomless mimosas at 3pm?YES! Afternoon Delight (giggity)? YESSIR!! Day party 6-10pm? Ooohh count me in!! Nothing more fulfilling than having the time of your life, getting completely wasted, and being in bed by 8 *stares off into distance* man, that is the LIFE….

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      Ok grandma hippity hop

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Happy Monday! Off you go!!!!

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        *nudges you with cane*
        go on nah, get from round my porch with all yo racket!!!

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          *throws egg at your house and sprints away*

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Your sprinting days are well behind you pun intended. With that bootay, you just trotting now!!! LOL!!!

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              You stay talking ish like you can beat me!!!

              • Sigma_Since 93

                Sure can. You can step up and take an azz whuppin like the grown woman you claim to be!!!

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              Trackstar….

    • Lea Thrace

      I had a comment here showing solidarity with you. But disqus/moderation will not let me be great. *le sigh*

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        I feel the support nonetheless my sista *raises fist*

    • Kema

      “I cannot party late night anymore. I just cant. If I get to a party at 10pm, I am visibly yawning by 12:15am. ”

      Thats why you take a nap first… duh!

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        No nap will justify me being out till dawn. NOAP.

      • WIP

        nap = I won’t feel like going out when it’s time and end up cancelling on everybody.

        • afronica

          Usually all I can think of when I wake from a nap is how good that was, how warm my bed is, how comfy my pj’s are, how nice a warm mug of hot chocolate would be…and I’m done.

        • Kema

          Hah! I’ve woken up at 1:15 like huh? My rule is if I sleep too long then I wasnt meant to go.

    • SuperStrings

      I don’t think you could hang with @Alyson_P:disqus and @dtafakari:disqus then. Word on the streets in The A is that they go places and close it down, got the staff putting up chairs around them and sweeping around their feet.

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        See nah, you and i will be across town at happy hour cuz #nolatenights!!

        • SuperStrings

          *looks at calendar*
          pencil me in! lol

  • Michelle

    -Having smexual relations on a beach. Or any other place that has sand. There’s nothing cute about finding sand in orifices, four days after.
    -Dating an animal activist/foodie/vegan.
    It’s nice to date a person who cares about their communities, a hobby or about creatures who don’t have “a voice”. But if you’re dating a self-righteous fanatic, then… Not so much.
    -Eating food off of my plate. Back in my twenties, I would’ve thought that this gesture was cute. Now, a person is most likely going to get stabbed by a spork, if he keeps it up.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      Wait men eat off women’s plates…its usually y’all who be fronting like you ain’t that hungry then be tryna eat off the plate

      • Lea Thrace

        In my life, this has been such a damn myth. Male type knee-grows stay eating off my plate because I ordered the better dish. You had the same damn menu I did. Order your own dang it!

        • LMNOP

          Sometimes you want to try both though. Or something looked better than it sounded. Sharing is caring.

          • Lea Thrace

            Sharing is one bite. I can spare a bite. But if you like it after that bite, don’t come at me with the “Let me have that other half that you’re putting in the to-go box.” I am saving it for a reason dammit. MYSELF.

        • afronica

          If I REALLY like the person I’m dining with, I just end up swapping the plates. I take their loss, and they get the good dish. It takes a couple of times of this before I end up ordering for the table when we’re out.

      • WIP

        The food just looks better when he has it.

        • LMNOP

          People are like this. Like little kids will have no interest in a toy until someone else picks it up.

          • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

            UGH! I can put the same food on my daughter’s plate, but once she sees me eating, she wants MY chicken. -___-

            • LMNOP

              I’m kind of jealous actually. My daughter looks at every delicious meal I make and asks for ramen noodles.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          All ‘yall need to be punched in the throat Bernie Mack style.

          • WIP

            Fair enough. I make no excuses., LOL

      • Epsilonicus

        Me and the wife will eat off each others plate all the time. We are amateur foodies so we purchase stuff at restaurants knowing that we will try stuff off each others plates.

    • Terry Odis

      MANE…i just had to charge it to the game on eating off my plate. Why for come i asked you where you wanted to eat and you couldn’t tell me, when we got there you ain’t know what to order, but then come for MY food when it’s time to dine? Next time i’m just gonna go to ANYSPOT.com and plate the food, say that grace, take a bite, and just wait. Just wait.
      ALTHOUGH…i must admit…I still kinda like the wife-to-be eating off my plate. : )

  • WIP

    In my observation the “matching game” never gets old. It’s one of the few things “older” couple will do together to be cutesy. Watch HGTV and see how many couples are wearing matching outfits for the show. I would do it too. Matching never gets old.

    Cuddling.
    I feel bad for saying it but, ya, things change. At first you wanna be all up under him all the time. Then one night you thank God that he’s not there so you can stretch out your legs and not have all that cold air blowing in your face (because he’s always hot and you’re always cold, right, so the fan or AC is always on) and you can keep the covers neat.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      I think there’s ways to match but not directly match, some colors look nice next to each other

    • basilblues

      i agree and disagree about the cuddling. i love it. especially being the little spoon. i’ll never get tired of it. like, if we get in bed and his first move isn’t to snuggle up behind and wrap his arm around me, i admit, i feel kinda upset and will pout a little bit. :p but that “keep the covers neat” struggle is so real. cause i haven’t met a guy yet who will doesn’t put up a fuss about making the bed. now that is not cute lol

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Women wouldn’t love spooning if they were the ones who ended up with the dead arms every night.

        • PhlyyPhree

          This is all true and also Not true at ALL.
          I understand the dead arm struggle because I have a child who loves to cuddle and she inherited her dad’s large ace noggin.
          Here’s my thing, when I’m cuddling, I don’t want to lay on your arm anyway. There is NO way I can comfortable position my face on your elbow or tibula or whatever. I prefer laying on your chest IF I’m going to lay on you.

          I also don’t really like your breath all up on me so maybe we can just spoon from the waist down and leave room in between my head and everything else.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            It’s the bottom arm that’s the issue and not the top one. If you like your man close, he’s gotta darn near bury that other arm under you somehow which leads to the dead arm.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Seeeeee, nah. Like I said, I don’t want him all that close to my face. I need to have clear airways while I’m sleeping.Also, even if you brush your teeth before bed, there’s bound to be some morning breath. Get thee away from me

              • Sigma_Since 93

                I guess it depends on which way you face. Mrs. SS93 has me on the outside but her back is to me. #nodragonbreathinturruptingthesleep

            • LMNOP

              Yeah my kid likes to cuddle too, and you can cuddle with only the top arm, so that you can move away when you’re sick of cuddling.

          • NomadaNare

            See, I usually don’t mind women lying her head on my chest. But in real life these chicks spontaneously bite my pecs and I have no idea why.

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

          I’ll have you know I LOVE being the big spoon.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Aye Mommacita!

          • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

            Women need to embrace big spooning #bewbsonmyback

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              I’m too little to be the “big spoon”

              • Epsilonicus

                Its even cuter when you are small.

              • LMNOP

                If Bunni can be the big spoon, you can be the big spoon.

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  I’m all hunched up on some back? No. My booty deserves to resting aside some meat for easy access.

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    I’m Sigma_Since 93 and I approve of this message.

                    I can’t believe I’m supporting the youth (you) being violated! LOL!!

                  • SuperStrings

                    “My booty deserves to resting aside some meat for easy access.”
                    I second that.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Not only that, but it’s the perfect position for the reach around cuddle…
              Or so I heard.

        • basilblues

          your sacrifice of feeling to your arm is much appreciated

          • SuperStrings

            A little appreciation goes a long way.

        • Terry Odis

          SS93 FOR THE WIN. My right arm hates me. Shoulder be dislocated than a MUG. My arms don’t even match nomo. Then when i move the arm at night she waking up. My fingers all tingly. THEN y’all (ladies) heads always smell like product. Then if it’s a hair out night, you got naturalness tickling me all in my face. I spent my college years in a male dorm, with pranking roomates and a bold & reckless species of cockroach. This is traumatizing.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Finally! Someone understands me!

          • afronica

            “…bold & reckless species of cockroach”
            *cackling*

          • WIP

            “My arms don’t even match nomo”
            BOL

            • Sigma_Since 93

              “My arms don’t even match nomo”

              They’ll have you looking like this after a few years.

      • WIP

        I don’t have many pet peeves, but one major one is having my sheets all askew while I’m sleeping. He gives not one freak about this. I love being able to sleep with my sheets neat.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      Only day I’m trying to match my SO is on my wedding day and even then I’m not really trying to match. I’m going to be wearing blush pink and he’s going to be rocking Navy blue. I don’t have time for matching. Gross.