Relationship Downfall Week: Hyundai With a Ferrari Engine

Posted on 7 May, 2008 by Panama Jackson

Potential (adj.) – possible as opposed to actual; (noun) a latent excellence that may or may not be developed.

Do you know why I love women? I’ll tell you why. Women are believers at heart. Believers with breasts. Women will see black and swear that if they stare long enough, it might turn into green. See, women believe in potential.

That is so sweet.

Just like disrespect is the number one killer of black males between birth and death 18 and 35, potential is the number one killer of the hopes and dreams in a relationship.

What COULD he be?

What COULD we be?

And much like “what if Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear”, they are asinine questions.

I’ve always wondered why women were such believers in what a man could be. It’s not like they’re always proven right. It’s for this reason I’ll always think that, at our core, women are better people than men. Generally I couldn’t care less about your potential.

Actually that’s not true. I’m concerned about a woman’s potential to become patently unattractive after a few kids and genetics kick in. But I’m just shallow like that. See, my potential is more of a just-how-far-down-is-your-bottom type of thing. On the contrary, women are very much concerned with a man’s upside.

Once again, that’s so sweet.

My guess is that a lot of relationships fall apart for women at the point that they realize that the man they think can be the next CEO of a Fortune 500 company is happy as a pig in slop at his retail job selling camera’s at Best Buy. It’s kind of funny if you think about it. It’s like every man is every woman’s potential playdough. Add just the right amount of tender love and care, throw in a little common sense, and help him mature and then wham, he could go from Morris Chestnut in Boyz In The Hood (RIIIIIIIIIIIICKY!) to Morris Chestnut in The Best Man. Though chances are, he probably will never make that transition.

But oh, the possibilities. Like I said, men do it too, though when its not about what she might be in the future its more like, “she’ll give me head one day!” Though if you’re a grown ass man dating a woman who “doesn’t do that” you should probably just go kill yourself.

Mostly because she just doesn’t do it to you. They probably used to call her Jawbone. And if you are a woman who actually “doesn’t do that”, then you should be sent to Idaho and forced to shell potatoes (I know that doesn’t make sense) and eat cacti.

The bottom line here is that women tend to shoot themselves in the foot a lot dealing with man’s “potential.” If you’re entire relationship is based on what you hope your man can be, then you probably need a healthy does of reality. You also need to let your man know upfront that the person he is now isn’t exactly who you hope he is two years from now.

Or just don’t date janitors.

-PANAMA

http://lizburr.com Liz

I know I am guilty as charged on this. I will always see the upside on a man and think of all the wonderful possibilities.

*sigh*

I’m working on it.

P.S. Don’t be hatin on Hyundai’s. They are wonderful cars with great warranties. Just sayin.
- bruce almighty
  
  sometime just sometime the masterplan change. and you have a family and put thing on the old back burner the kid grow up and grew apart and now you have a chevy in a jag that plan gone so is the relationship
http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant

“Women will see black and swear that if they stare long enough, it might turn into green.”

- That’s just funny to me because a friend and I used to have this inside joke about how women will swear that a man (and the relationship with said man) has potential that only she can see. Like mistaking green for purple.

Women are notorious for believing in a man’s potential and you know why…

Because that man has convinced them that he wants to realize that potential. But it’s like Jarrod said in the last post, women are listening to the words (“I’m gonna”, “I wanna”, “I should”) and not paying attention to his actions (he didn’t, he won’t, he hasn’t made a move towards his “goal” yet).

It’s bad move. Sure he’s a “good man” and he could be a lot of great things. But he could also be a loser.

The majority of the time women wholeheartedly believe in potential at the beginning of the relationship but it doesn’t take that long before the store lighting wears off and they realize what they really went home with. The rest of the time she’s fooling herself so she won’t have to admit she chose wrong.

P – The situation you described with the janitor is more of an “I can change him” situation. (Which is another post for another day.)

Now if that man is complaining about his job all the time and is relatively intelligent and says something about owning his own cleaning service to his woman (I mean really visualizing it), you better believe that she’s already on board. Picking out logos and contacting the SBA to see what type of loans he can apply for. What’s he doing? Going to work. How else is he going to pay for that PS3?

Bottom line: You shouldn’t want more for someone than they want for themselves. You’ll just end up disappointed.
- http://www.myspace.com/moonchyldblu Vitamin Be
  
  Preach!
- Teacia
  
  I swear I’ve never going to get any work done anymore…anywhooo
  
  “Because that man has convinced them that he wants to realize that potential. But it’s like Jarrod said in the last post, women are listening to the words (”I’m gonna”, “I wanna”, “I should”) and not paying attention to his actions (he didn’t, he won’t, he hasn’t made a move towards his “goal” yet).”
  
  You know I have to say this is kind of one sided, potential isn’t measured solely by one’s actions but also by the type of support system they have. There are a lot of a single mothers who have the “potential” to succeed in life, but without a support system they normally fall short.
  
  Now the same goes for men, yes some are stagnant in life right now and just need someone to have a little faith in them. There’s nothing like knowing that if you fall someone will be there to help you get back up and still believe. Maybe I’m just naive to think that we are at our best when someone loves and nurtures our talents.
  
  Men and women are not meant to be alone, women are born nuturers, so that’s what we do. We nurture talent, we nurture promise and try with every bone in our body to nurture potential. I like to think that I had a positive and progressive impact on every man that I seriously dated b/c I’m constantly thinking forward.
  
  Besides every great man there’s a good, steady and hopeful woman who believed in her man so man that he himself started to believe as well.
  
  I don’t know, don’t underestimate the power of a woman spotting potential.
  - Teacia
    
    okay so i was typing super fast so i can actually work today…a few typos, comma splices and grammatical errors ensued.
    
    I swear I’m*…
    
    we nurture promise and we* try…
    
    Beside* every great…
    
    …believed in her man so much*…
    
    I’m sure you guys get the point though.
    - http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
      
      “I’m sure you guys get the point though.”
      
      i think i did. i agree with most of what you say, except..
      
      “Besides every great man there’s a good, steady and hopeful woman who believed in her man so man that he himself started to believe as well.”
      
      …but i’d just change “every” to “many”.
      - Teacia
        
        “many” it is then…or actually “most” is my preference. i honestly don’t think that man or woman can reach their full potential w/o a supportive mate by their side.
        
        i know for a fact that i’m at my best when i’m in a stable and supportive relationship…now that doesn’t diminish the accomplishments i acheive while i’m single…but i push a little harder when i’m being supported and encouraged, and i honestly believe the same goes for men.
        
        and moreover, i believe that the problem we face in relationships today have a lot to do with people no longer believing in the power of togetherness…but that’s another blog, another day.
  - http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
    
    I don’t think anyone is questioning that women are nurturers by nature or that believing in someone else is a bad thing, it’s a wonderful thing to be supportive of your loved ones, BUT women often “stick it out” with men who are less than ambitious because they believe in his potential.
    
    He COULD be a great friend, husband, father, provider, etc… Most men have that potential. The potential to do great things is not absent from anyone.
    
    But the question is what he is DOING now?
    Is he working toward those goals in any way shape or form? (active)
    Or is he just talking? (passive)
    
    How long should a woman waste (time is valuable – you can’t get it back) for a man because she believes in what he MIGHT be?
    
    Some woman somewhere right now has spent a great deal of her time waiting for her boyfriend/baby’s daddy/husband/father/brother/uncle to get himself together and be the great man she knows he is on the inside.
    
    We either know these women or we are these women.
    
    But none of that matters, it could happen, he could change. But all things being real the odds that he will change get slimmer as he gets older because barring great tragedy/revelation people don’t just change. You are who you are and unless something intrinsically motivates you, you’ll always be that person.
    
    So a woman can have all the hope in the world and believe to her depths in a man’s potential but unless that man believes in it, it’s in vain.
    - Teacia
      
      I actually agree on ur entire post.
      
      Now to get to the nitty gritty and most importantly to my looking like a constant ass…are you a girl or a guy?
      
      And do you like girls or guys?
      
      Do you have a penis…b/c I recall you mentioning something about a flacid dick…i’m just saying…
      - Teacia
        
        I meant to avoid*…well so much for that.
        
        Monnie
        
        Teacia,
        
        How are you doing? I suggest clicking on the name, which would lead to the website. Once there, click on “You are Here” under the title Pages on the top right hand side…
        
        Teacia
        
        Thanks, so it’s 2 people blogging under one name…how LAME!
        
        http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia
        
        Oh and did I mention how lame and misleading that is…to have someone respond to a female or male b/c obviously a male or female was answering and then to act if they’re ignorant for making an assumption to gender by someone other than the initial poster responding.
        
        LAME!! And just in case you really didn’t get the disgust of immaturity in my voice, I’ll say it again…LAME!
        
        http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
        
        “Oh and did I mention how lame and misleading that is…to have someone respond to a female or male b/c obviously a male or female was answering and then to act if they’re ignorant for making an assumption to gender by someone other than the initial poster responding.”
        
        I don’t respond as anything but what I am. Now if my comments aren’t in line with what YOU think they should be and you mistakingly refer to me as the opposite sex, why shouldn’t I correct you?
        
        http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia
        
        That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. If you respond as a man and I refer to you as a man then don’t give me that I’ll excuse the gender confusion horseshit. I’m not the one who seems to be confused.
        
        But then again, you do you. This whole I am both man and woman nonsense seems to be doing your blogspot well…that’s why the comments are just overflowing over there!
        
        http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
        
        teacia, chill on the personal shit. no need for name calling. if you have a problem with deviant’s ambiguousness, don’t reply to deviant’s comments.
        
        with that being said, deviant, this isn’t the first time that someone has been confused by that same ambiguity (myself included), and i’m sure it won’t be the last. i’m not asking you to “explain yourself”, but at least, for continuity’s sake, be more consistent with your subjective pronouns.
        
        http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia
        
        I didn’t issue any name calling but I do have a potty mouth at times. I have no problem with responding to his/her comments…I only got offended when he/she excused my “gender confusion”…as if.
        
        I do however have a problem with people blantantly misleading others(and for humors sake might I add) and then act as if something is wrong with the person being mislead.
        
        Anyhow it’s done…digressing
        
        http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia
        
        I have to apologize for getting ignorant on your site. I’ve been super duper stressed and maybe this isn’t the appropriate mental outlet for me right now.
        
        And my apologies to Deviant, although I disagree with it’s tactics.
        
        http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
        
        “with that being said, deviant, this isn’t the first time that someone has been confused by that same ambiguity (myself included), and i’m sure it won’t be the last.”
        
        Champ,
        
        I do not post responses with the intention of deceiving people about my gender. I cannot help if my comments don’t line up with what other have in their mind as male/female. if you go back and read my comments on previous posts (“Thank you Officer Torres”, “Bamboo Earrings”, etc.) you will see that I never straddle the fence.
        
        I don’t pretend to be a guy or a girl. I answer questions and comment as I see fit.
        
        The “gender confusion” Tecia is referring to happened because I made a comment about women and she assumed that because it wasn’t exactly complimentary, that I was a man. Which was incorrect and so I corrected her. – And I might point out that, that particular comment was #1 for me that day so it’s not like she had anything else to base her assumption on… I attributed it to it being her first visit/comment, which is why I said I would excuse the mix-up, because if she’d have been involved in some of the previous discussions she might have a better idea of which gender she was responding to…
        
        Again, I can’t help it if people make assumptions about my gender based on my comments. That’s on them.
        
        Now when people ask me if I am a man or a woman, I most certainly do give a ridiculously ambiguous answer because IT SHOULDN’T MATTER.
        
        Coincidentally, “Ambiguously Gay Duo” was one of my favorite segments on SNL.
- http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess
  
  HALLELUJAH!
- http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia
  
  Bottom line: You shouldn’t want more for someone than they want for themselves. You’ll just end up disappointed.
  
  So true. I’m all for pushing your mate to be the best they can be but as a cheerleader, not as their main dream builder.
http://www.myspace.com/moonchyldblu Vitamin Be

“…potential is the number one killer of the hopes and dreams in a relationship.’

I am so guilty of this…I won’t get into the details of my own experiences, but women are always on future-mode. Most of us won’t get into a relationship with a man that we can’t see cooking breakfast and birthing babies for. (Or is that just me?) We go into relationships with one question on our mind …”Is he THE ONE?”

I’m not sure what or who ‘THE ONE’ is, but somewhere between tea parties and makeup women got programmed to look for him. Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking that by believing in Mr Right Now or the potential we have concocted in our minds that he will magically morph in the perfect guy and all will be perfect in our worlds….WRONG! And as for all that molding and morphing you’re talking about… I was always taught that you can’t change people. So I personally have never tried.
A friend of mine on the other hand is always down for ‘the fixer uppers’. She goes straight for the guy who needs a little motivation to get his ish together and she’s happy to play that role just so she can get the credit. I never understood that either Panama, but she says she gets with the ones who need work because all the good models are already spoken for…I personally think that’s a lame excuse for settling.
- http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia
  
  She goes straight for the guy who needs a little motivation to get his ish together and she’s happy to play that role just so she can get the credit
  
  Your friend isn’t the only one like that. There are a lot of women like that. I wrote an article about it sometime ago. Women in this category like to Rescue men and it makes them feel better to do so. But one thing about it, after the hero adoration is over, either the woman loses interest in the guy or the guy moves on.
- Jess
  
  lol, is that like the Mrs. version of Captain Save-a-Ho?
  
  And isn’t it one thing to motivate someone into get their ish together (tapping into qualities that they already OWN), and a whole other thing to motivate a man into doing chores (pushing qualities onto them that they may never have possessed in the first place)?
  - http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
    
    “And isn’t it one thing to motivate someone into get their ish together (tapping into qualities that they already OWN), and a whole other thing to motivate a man into doing chores (pushing qualities onto them that they may never have possessed in the first place)?”
    
    Absofuckinglutely.
- Treezy F. Baby
  
  I think this goes back to women’s tendency to manipulate…what is this betting on potential situation, as Panama called it making a man your personal play dough, but a sublime form of manipulation? If we know that the guy is a fixer-upper…we have more “clay” to work with. If he’s already, molded, shaped and ready for the kiln…where’s the fun in that? Besides every woman wants to feel like she helped make her man, helped him achieve the success he has in life. We are wanna-be puppet masters…we’re trying to play God. Which is as previously suggested dangerous, dangerous territory.
  
  I am super super guilty of this. My mom was the one who swear she fixed up my dad and I feel like I’m living in the heritage she passed down to me. I also think and someone on the board was getting at this, that its a cover up of sorts. At some point, we know the guy isn’t worth two rusty nickels and somehow we have to make him worth the investment of our time, money and heart. So we try to be Harriet Houdini and magically make this man into someone worth bragging about. Or if not bragging, at least being able to admit we actually are in love with the ice cream truck man now but CEO of Ben and Jerry’s tommorow guy. IOW, We use “potential” to justify our poor choice in men.
jess

WAIT!

Before I read this post

(I cant right now I’m too tired but I’m excited)

I remembered another childhood cartoon crush, and this one was HUGE

Two Face from Batman
God he was sooooooo sexy

Okay, bye. Be back tomorrow
- http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
  
  okay, ummmm, good night i guess
- http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
  
  wasn’t his hook the fact that his schizophrenia was so bad he manifested two distinct faces?
  which side did you find sexy? or was it the combo?
  I’m jokin but I jus found that funny
  I’m going back to work now
  - Jess
    
    I wish I knew. All I can tell you is, when my little frizzy haired cavity grinned fat faced baby self was sitting in front of the screen, and you saw that hand flipping the coin before he even stepped out of the shadows, I fluttered hard. The human half of his face was hot.
    - http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
      
      “my little frizzy haired cavity”
      
      -I went so far to left right here…
      - Jess
        
        squints… yeah, you want this. “Cavity” is a perfect word to describe my wiles. That is the sexiest thing I could possibly call it
Ana B

Guilty as charged… I see the potential in everyone, men and women, until they prove themselves to be some hybrid that isnt worth spending a wooden nickle on. However I chalk this up to my nature, and my disposition as an educator (its the best excuse I can come up with this late). But I dont just see the potential in the janitor to aspire to own his own cleaning service, I also see the potential in the lawyer to own his own law firm. So I am guilty for wanting more even for someone that might not want more for themselves. Again its my nature.
- http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
  
  is owning your own business really more? i mean, if someones true ambition was to be the best janitor ever and made strides to make that happen (went to janitor workshops, read all types of cleaning manuals, etc), would that make him less ambitious than someone who wanted to own his own cleaning company?
  - Teacia
    
    Good point! I personally never want to own my own business but I do strive to be the best at what I do. Now I wouldn’t mind running someone else’s but I definitely don’t want one of my own.
    
    I point that out to say that entrepreneurship doesn’t in most cases equal success. I know a lot of failed businesses, I think being the best at what you want to be should be enough. I would only encourage a change or a risk if you constantly complained about your current state. But I am happy if you are happy….especially considering I choose not to date janitors.
    
    No offense to the cleaning industry but I like my men refined(yes i know this statement may cause an uproar)…but don’t hate me for my preferences.
    - http://www.verysmartbrothas.com Panama
      
      Let me be the first to uproar.
      
      Roar.
      
      Up.
      
      I’m stupid. So does this really assume that a man who is a janitor cannot be refined? Suppose the man just fell upon hard times. Seems like a bit of a stretch (and another blog topic) to assume that one’s actual employment is a direct indicator of said person’s refinement.
      
      Hell, I know thugs that read more than folks who go to wine tastings.
      
      And to throw more fuel onto the fire…what exactly is refined?
      - Ana B
        
        @ Panama~I was just using your example from the previous blog… and I totally agree with you regarding being refined. Sheet the people I work with at the university aren’t as refined as some of the blue collar folk I know and socialize with.
      - Teacia
        
        refined: To acquire polish or elegance;
        
        to make fine distinctions in thought or language.
        
        and so the list goes…
        
        Let me start by saying, I was forced into to etiquette school when growing up. I was never allowed to play outside b/c my daddy didn’t want his daughters dirty. My hair has always been in place, my nails always clean and it’s the kind of life I have led since childhood. Oh and I started a non profit organization entitled Exquisite Ladies, Inc…so I relish in elegance.
        
        I do not look down upon those who don’t, although I am constantly insulted for liking nice things and providing them for myself. Oh and I don’t do wine, so that’s no big deal either way.
        
        I study philosophy, so I’m a critical thinker, I’m obsessed with politics, I’m teaching myself French. I love the arts and culture. I enjoy classical music and (sorry guys) but I don’t really enjoy rap all that much.
        
        If I met a janitor who just fell on hard times(b/c we all have), who I have common interest with(aforementioned pleasures) then I would all for it. We would figure out what his goals and plans are and go from there b/c I need a man with a plan, my life is on a strict schedule and I need that kind of discipline in the man I date.
        
        Now go on and continue roaring.
        
        http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
        
        what if you met a janitor who wasnt on hard times? who met all the other mental and physical checklists…and made a decent income. basically what i’m asking is does what he actually does for a living (legally, of course) count?
        
        Treezy F. Baby
        
        Oh yeah this girl cannot be with a janitor…the funny thing is I see myself with a janitor before I see myself with someone in my field (acaemdia). All my friends know this and think its mad ironic… I’m like the couple from that movie Stomp The Yard where the wife was a student in school and he was the gardener. I was always checking for the facilities people and maintenance men on my college campus. Too bad I went to school in LA and they were all…anyways…
        
        Once again this goes back to my parent’s relationship. My mom is the white collar professional, my dad the blue. I think what makes the idea of a blue collar man so ideal for me is his unpretentiousness and his work ethic…I will never forget how my dad would take 2 buses and a bike just to get to work when we first moved to hot desert ass Las Vegas. To me, that’s what a man is.
        
        I think this is why I find myself stuck between just really wanting a man who is really dedicated to his work and providing for his family and the pressure from others to want more cause I should and deserve to be with someone “better.” That’s the reason why the idea of a janitor who works up to own his cleaning business seems such the perfect little medium.
        
        Teacia
        
        @ Champ~ Yes it matters. You show me a sexy ass janitor who won’t just tolerate my differences but also embrace them, and I’ll promise you that this time I won’t be a runaway bride, but he has to allow me play Michael Buble’s version of, “The Way You Look Tonight” as our wedding song and not good ole trusty Luther or some other R&B ballad.
        
        Now I point that out to show that I don’t think this kind of janitor exists, black man yes, janitor no. Politics are also hugely important to me, so he has to be up on social and world issues. You show me a blue collar working class man that doesn’t get intimitated by how different I am and I will GLADLY accept(cause i do love me the scent of a sweaty ass man who has worked all day out in the field).
        
        I don’t go out looking for guys with money or a nice job…actually I don’t go out looking at all, but I’m open to anything once, as long as he respects me.
        
        http://www.myspace.com/vasbestbbw Cheryl
        
        @ Treezy – I’m also more attracted to blue collar men than white collar men. But have found problems because I’m “educated” while they may not be, and they see the issue in that (I don’t … I like smart men but advanced degree doesn’t equal smart). I’m not interested in how much money a man makes. The size of his wallet doesn’t impress me nor a dealbreaker does it make.
        
        gimme a janitor or mechanic over a lawyer/doctor/professor any day.
  - Ana B
    
    @ the Champ, owning your own business isn’t the only thing, you are correct I think I was speaking to the “ambition” the person has or wants (directed to the blog) and more importantly the potential that I (cause I cant speak for all women) see in them. Again, as an educator I do see the potential in all people, sometimes that they don’t see in themselves. Part of my job is to help them to see that. Unfortunately for me this does carry over into my personal life because I see the potential in men that they sometimes don’t see in themselves. That does NOT however mean that I cultivate and nurture that potential in every man I see and interact with, (that is unless he is willing to play an active role in that growing process). I am guilty however of seeing the potential in all men, which is why I don’t exclusively date men with the same degree’s, education, or even social status, as me.
http://myspace.com/candyacidreign Dessa

This is so true! The thing is that some women have a great eye for “potential”, and the man actually does reach it eventually or gets close to it…oddly enough once he gets there he drops her off at the bus stop with a pack of now-and-laters and a new born baby! lol. ha ha. I crack me up!
http://myspace.com/candyacidreign Dessa

Okay okay. I forgot to say this:

I think it’s okay to consider a man’s potential (I do), as long as he’s not beneath your standards when you meet him.

Example:

A. If I met a great guy who already owned realistate and was already investing in the stock market and planning towards other business ventures, it’s okay to date him because of his potential.

B. If I met a guy who doesn’t have a pot to piss in and he lives in his grandma’s basement but swears that he’s gonna be rich one day, it’s not okay to date him for his “potential”.
- http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess
  
  what’s “realistate”???
  - http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
    
    that’s dessaese for “real estate”
    - http://goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess
      
      oh..ok..i get it now…thanks!
- Teacia
  
  I disagree with this statement wholeheartedly unless he had a scheme and not a plan, or if his plan was music or sports. I like many women are soooo over that dream, get an education and a job already…one where you’re more likely to succeed than not.
  - Teacia
    
    Oh, I forgot to mention, we all have to start at the bottom…catching a man on his way up is not only sexy but satisfying.
    - http://www.verysmartbrothas.com Panama
      
      I think I’m gonna start a support group for aspiring rappers (athletes pretty much know at what point they’re not going to make it) called
      Dreams With Drive.
      
      Our goal will be allow aspiring rappers come every Tuesday and talk about how they actually do have plans despite everybody laughing at them and their half-assed demos.
      
      And then, I’m gonna open up a store for aspiring MC’s, I won’t sell them the dream, but the inspiration is free.
      
      10 points and pack of Dessa’s Now-n-Laters if you can tell me where that line came from.
      - D*stroy
        
        Kanyeezy but I can’t remember the songs title. That’s at least worth 5 points and 1 now n later.
      - The Queen
        
        Gone…I’m going to Disney World.
        
        If you start that support group, you’ll end up with a chapter in every city.
      - Teacia
        
        But most of them with that dream sucks…it’s requires skill and talent, and that’s not something you can learn. You either have it or you don’t!
        
        Please don’t encourage the madness!
        
        http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com Deviant
        
        “it’s requires skill and talent”
        
        Hardly. Have you listened to the radio lately? Rappers don’t even need to be familiar with correct grammar and spelling.
        
        Case and point (or is it case in point?):
        
        “yah, trick, yah” (c) Soulja Boy
        
        Teacia
        
        Funny…well that’s just sheer luck or a hot ass beat. Either way, I need a dream that’s a little closer to the beaten path.
        
        Again that’s just my preference, and I see u didn’t answer my aforementioned question to you. :-p
      - Jess
        
        Yeah.. I meet like 18 aspiring rappers a week.
        
        I dunno. I did the whole carving a great from the bottom up thing. It gets exhausting. There comes a point in your life where you want to meet someone when they’re finally happy with who they are, or really really getting there. Maybe I’m just iffy about having someone depend on me so much
http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

I think some women need to realize that they can maybe spark a man to do better for himself and open his eyes to other possibilities, but essentially if he’s complacent or is not already moving foward, waiting for that potential to materialize is a lost hope.
http://starkept.blogspot.com Suga&Spice

As many of the women, I too am guilty. I have loved the possiblities of the man which caused me to miscalculate the probablity he would actually achieve anything.

Being the unofficial relationship counselor of my squad has shown me one very valuable truth.–A woman will marry a man knowing all that he can become. A man wont marry a woman until becomes all he desires.
- http://myspace.com/time4sumakshone AkShone
  
  –A woman will marry a man knowing all that he can become. A man wont marry a woman until he becomes all he desires.
  
  …I say hot damn that’s real!
- Treezy F. Baby
  
  “A woman will marry a man knowing all that he can become. A man wont marry a woman until he becomes all he desires.”
  
  PREACH!!!
  
  If we could just remember this shit and put at the very forefront of our minds every single day and in every single relationship we would be ALL RIGHT!
http://k-unwrapped.blogspot.com K.

“Or just don’t date janitors.”

What?! But it shouldn’t matter what a man’s job title is! That’s some gold-digging shyt right there!

Sike.

I can’t deal w/ that ‘potential’ bullshyt. I like my men just like I like my furniture – straight out of the box w/ no assembly required.
- http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ
  
  “I can’t deal w/ that ‘potential’ bullshyt. I like my men just like I like my furniture – straight out of the box w/ no assembly required.”
  
  you know, kiesha, i think the next time you leave a comment, you shouldn’t be scared to hold back. tell us how you really feel.
- Ana B
  
  for real, that shit is LOL funny!
- Teacia
  
  Ummm…okay but why is “gold-digger” the only term we can think of when labeling a woman who wants a man more ambitious than making minimum wage?