Ray Rice And The “Well, Actually…” People » VSB


Ray Rice And The “Well, Actually…” People

Ray Rice and Janay Rice (Rob Carr/Getty Images)


There are few internet people less liked than the “Well, actually…” person. You know who they are. Some story breaks with someone doing or saying something shitty, and the maddeningly contrarian “Well, actually…” person starts their spiel, which is usually some combination of myopic condescension shrouded in faux objectivity.

Well, actually we don’t know all of the facts yet.”

Well, actually Black people can be racist too.”

“Well, actually men get catcalled too.”

And, when news of Ray Rice assaulting his fiancee first surfaced a few months ago, the “Well, actually…” people were out like they were vampires from The Strain and it was a solar eclipse.

“Well, actually we weren’t there.”

“Well, actually she could have hit him first.”

“Well, actually she could have been drunk.”

“Well, actually she married him, so it couldn’t have been that bad.”

Anyway, after video surfaced this morning of Rice clearly knocking out his fiancee, and dragging her out of an elevator, I wonder what the “Well, actually…” people have to say now.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Kozy

    It was soooo much worse than I imagined. just awful.

    • Keisha

      RIGHT!!! He got off so easy!

      • Uniquely Blushed

        The penalties for certain hits (in football gear) in the nfl are a lot stiffer than what he received for hitting a woman.

    • Uniquely Blushed

      I agree. I wasn’t expecting that at all.

    • Val

      And he and all those other people just stood there offering her no help until that woman came along.

      • Neptunes presents The Clones

        Hey sweet thang,what up

        • Val

          Hi, Sahel.

      • Epsilonicus

        I only saw the punch. I did not know there was more.

        • Val

          The punch was more than bad enough but yes, there is more.

  • Keisha

    WOW!!!! I truly am at a loss for words. Someone please tell me why she decided to marry him. It could not have been because of love. I’m sure she’ll be making an appearance on Iyanla: Fix my life. :-/

    • GemmieBoo

      a woman couldnt possibly have married her abuser for love? hmmm its clear you know nothing about domestic violence, the victims, or the abusers. but i implore you to read up on it so you understand why women are abused (and often killed) by the people they love most.

      • Keisha

        Hey Gem. I know plenty about domestic violence. What I witnessed on the video tape was not love…in any form or fashion. That’s the problem with most relationships…ppl throw around the word without ever truly knowing what it means. Not that I have it all figured out, but one thing i do know is that love doesn’t hurt.

        • GemmieBoo

          oh so youre saying its Ray who doesnt love Janay because he loves her? what does Ray’s abuse have to do with Janay? perhaps you have some insight on their personal relationship that the rest of us dont. please share.

          • Keisha

            You don’t know me and I don’t know you. Your tone from the beginning has been condescending. If you want to have a discussion we can do that, but the attitude has to go. Otherwise, this conversation is over as far as I’m concerned…

            • GemmieBoo

              i don’t know you. but i do know you made a gross assumption about Janay’s marriage to Ray Rice after an abusive incident was made public and asked in this very forum why she would marry him because it couldn’t be for love. and i called you out about it. that makes me condescending? ok, i’ll be that.

              no need to continue a conversation with some one who doesn’t have anything to add to the matter.

  • the well actually people are mad it’s even being discussed.
    can we create a well actually twitter so that they can be banished to there? please?

    ps: what DISGUST me is that it’s BM on my tl saying stuff as though BW haven’t be literally the definition of ride or die since the shooting of Mike Brown.


    • Neptunes presents The Clones

      This has got to be a top 5 disqus screen name

      • LOL. why thanks. i had to retire the old one. ;)

  • Skegeeaces

    Right! The “Well, actually…” folks are mighty quiet.
    Medea: Can I buy a vowel?
    It makes me ill because even if she hit him first (which she clearly didn’t) a big ole boxing man with 10X the power of his wife could probably have made it out of the elevator alive without knocking her face off. Talk about overkill…

    • cakes_and_pies

      They are? Because right now the “Well, actually” people are talking about not messing up his money and the perpetual persecution of the Black Man.

      • Skegeeaces

        Aw, they spoke up now, huh? LOL Figures. He threw his money down the toilet when he decided he could lay his beefy hands on that woman (and spit on her- ugh!!) This isn’t a case of “black man persecution”. This it the case of a man (who happened to be black) doing something that warranted being fired. If he were white, Asian, or polka-dotted I’d be saying the same thing.

    • in the beginning of the video he spit on her and she pushed his shoulder because of it…..he’s a maggot. Sigh.

      • Val

        He spit on her?! WTF. I keep thinking this can’t get any worse and then I hear something else worse.

        • BreezyX2

          Don’t know if it was spit but it was a clear taunt as she walked by him into the elevator.

          • tomato tomah-to….still doesnt merit what he did

        • Kim

          He spit on her and punched her in the face twice the first time she stumbled back the second time he punched her he knocked her out (her head hit the rail) smh

  • Tish Harris

    Well actually…I had no idea it was so violent until I just saw the video. Can’t believe she married dude.

  • annette_b

    Didn’t look like anyone was rushing to call 911, though….

  • DJ Kicks

    Well actually…she did kind of lunge at him..

  • miss t-lee

    More than a few made the “well, actually” right here in this comment section.

  • Tentpole

    I say this. It is a personal matter and none of my business until she ask for my help. Janay married Ray after being involved with him. She knows who he is better than all of us combined. She decided to stand by her man and that’s good enough for me.

    • Val

      In other words…well actually. Smh.

    • 60% Of Intimate Partner Violence occurs when the victim tries to LEAVE.

      He likely threatened to kill her, and himself. Maybe even her family.

      But hey, if it’s good enough for you.

  • Kim

    And then she married him…

    • Rachmo

      Her crying on the floor is so sad.

      • Kim

        I almost cried. He punched her TWICE in the face!!! …She was so helpless, he still had no regard neither did the people working there.

More Like This