Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

“Rape Responsibility,” And The Fine Line Between Victim-Blaming and Common Sense

Zerlina Maxwell is a friend of mine, and I understand where “Stop Telling Women How to Not Get Raped” — her latest piece at Ebony.com — is coming from.

I definitely agree that “Telling women that they can behave in a certain way to avoid rape creates a false sense of security and it isn’t the most effective way to lower the horrible statistics which show that 1 in 5 women will become victims of a completed or attempted rape in their lifetime.”

I also agree that “We need anti-rape campaigns that target young men and boys.  Campaigns that teach them from a young age how to respect women, and ultimately themselves, and to never ever be rapists. In addition, we should implore our men and boys to call out their friends, relatives, and classmates for inappropriate behavior and create systems of accountability amongst them.”

I even agree that Our community, much like society-at-large, needs a paradigm shift as it relates to our sexual assault prevention efforts.  For so long all of our energy has been directed at women, teaching them to be more “ladylike” and to not be “promiscuous” to not drink too much or to not wear a skirt. Newsflash: men don’t decide to become rapists because they spot a woman dressed like a video vixen or because a girl has been sexually assertive.”

But — and I’m trying to say this as delicately as possible — as the article continues, and lines such as “Consent can be withdrawn by the words “no “or “stop” and in many states, a woman doesn’t have to say no at all. Consumption of alcohol can prevent a woman from being able to legally offer consent” begin to seep in, the tone seems to shift from “men need to take full responsibility for their actions” to “men need to take full responsibility for their actions…and women have carte blance to act as recklessly and stupidly around men as possible without any trace of accountability.” and I just can’t agree anymore.

I know that rapists are going to rape regardless of how women decide to dress, what (and how much) women decide to drink, where women decide to frequent, and what women decide to do. For rapists, all a woman needs to do to “ask for it” is be born.

But, why can’t both genders be educated on how to act responsibility around each other? What’s stopping us from steadfastly instilling “No always means no!” in the minds of all men and boys and educating women how not to put themselves in certain situations? Of course men shouldn’t attempt to have sex with a woman who’s too drunk to say no, but what’s wrong with reminding women that if you’re 5’1 and 110 pounds, it’s probably not the best idea to take eight shots of Patron while on the first, second, or thirteenth date? Yes, sober women definitely get raped too, but being sober and aware does decrease the likelihood that harm may come your way, and that’s true for each gender.

It seems as if the considerable push back again victim-blaming has pushed all the way past prudence and levelheadedness, making anyone who suggests that “women can actually be taught how to behave too” insensitive or a “rape enabler.” And, while the sentiment in Maxwell’s article suggests that victim-blaming is dangerous, I think it’s even more dangerous to neglect to remind young women that, while it’s never their fault if they happen to get sexually assaulted, they shouldn’t thumb their noses to common sense either.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

***11:07 edit***

(I left this as a comment below, but I wanted to attach it to the end of the entry as well.)

So, although I realized while writing this that it may be a touchy subject, I admittedly underestimated exactly how potentially explosive it was going to be. I read some of these responses late last night and early this morning, and I’m genuinely shocked at the level of anger and hurt this entry has caused. I really did not expect this to happen. And while I don’t apologize for expressing my viewpoint, but I do apologize about being so flippant and not being more careful to articulate exactly what I meant to convey. Considering the subject matter, leaving lighthearted footnotes and links to my appearance in Essence at the end of the entry was a very bad idea.

Anyway, as far as the actual article and responses, my intent wasn’t to imply that any victim of rape should be held “accountable” for what happened to them. I also realize that the majority of rapes are done by people who know their victims — boyfriends, co-workers, friends, dates, etc — making it almost impossible to defend against, and in no way did I want to spread the message that staying sober and out of shady situations is all a woman has to do to avoid being raped.

All I was trying to do was respond to a theme — men always have to be hyper-vigilant, hyper-careful, and possess the ability to read women’s minds. women, on the other hand, can do whatever the hell they want — I got from Zerlina’s article, the comments attached to it, and the Twitter convo it sparked. And, I still believe that this is a dangerous way to approach things.

I’m aware that all the education and conversation in the world about learning how to protect yourself and stay out of harms way and properly vetting men isn’t going to prevent men from raping women. A woman can do all of that and still get sexually assaulted. I’m also aware that the onus of responsibility falls directly on the shoulders of the rapist, and no where else.

But, my whole point is that young men AND young women need to be taught how to behave around the opposite sex, and I don’t see how saying that suggests that I think women should be held responsible for their own rapes. Perhaps I’m being too obtuse, tone deaf, or insensitive, but I just don’t see the connection between “everyone should be educated and learn how to take responsibility for their actions” and “rape is the woman’s fault”

You know, before logging on and leaving this comment, I called up a friend to ask her to read the post and let me know if people were being way too sensitive or if I was crazy in thinking “what the hell is everyone so upset about?

Her (paraphrased) reply:

“Yeah, I think you should have left this topic alone. Any time a man writes about rape and even puts women and accountability in the same sentence, you’re going to anger people and come off as either completely tone deaf or dangerously insensitive, even if you don’t actually say or feel that women need to be held accountable for what happens to them. Maybe you could have worded your feelings better, but there’s really nothing you could have said besides “rape is wrong. the end” that would have made much of a difference.”

I think she’s right.

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Corey

    WOW. Lifting heavy today are we?

    • Scipio Africanus

      Right? Lol.

      • JJ the Jet Plane

        For the men who don’t quite ‘get’ the ire, I present:
        http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-10-18/10-top-tips-to-end-rape/

        It’s simple, really. Don’t rape. Just don’t do it. Quit pointing the finger, passive aggressively pointing out that women get to ‘get away with everything’, and don’t. effin. do it.

        • Scipio Africanus

          The vast majority of men don’t rape, never have, never will, and would stop it if they knew it was happening at any given moment and was within their power to stop it.

          The vast majority of men are not involved with rape, don’t benefit from rape in any way and are in fact very much harmed – both directly and indirectly – by the rapes that do occur.

          • SweetSass

            The vast majority of white cops don’t racially profile, never have, never will, and would stop it if they knew it was happening at any given moment and was within their power to stop it.

            The vast majority of police are not involved with racial profiling, don’t benefit from racial profiling in any way and are in fact very much harmed – both directly and indirectly – by the racial incidents that do occur.

            Do you believe this? I feel the same way about men and rape. Extremely skeptical.

            • Scipio Africanus

              Why are your opinions of each the same? Are the police and racial profiling a 1:1 analogy with men and rape to you?

              • SweetSass

                It’s not 1:1. Rape is much worse. But if I had to put it in terms you’d understand because you and others doggedly refuse to see the harm that rape causes it’s victims and how talking down and suggesting you know more about rape than a rape victim… is a insult.

                • Scipio Africanus

                  Oh, ok. Just checking.

                • Hari

                  It is true. Rape is the worst thing a woman can go through. It takes away everything. It takes away your ability to trust others. It makes you terrified of men. It makes having a normal relationship absolutely impossible.

                  This is why it touches nerves to talk about things like that. Once you are raped, you are never the same and sometimes life as you know it is pretty much over.

                  Do rapists ever think about that? Or do they get off on destroying one’s very soul?

          • Amanda

            We know that the vast majority of rapes are:
            - Committed by the same relatively narrow sliver of the population
            - That they have multiple victims,
            - That they avoid overt force, which is more likely to get them prosecuted,
            - Ghat they choose victims who can be bullied and isolated and that alcohol is their tool of choice. ”

            http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/

            What women want to know is

          • Amanda

            You never stated that it’s equally important for men to understand that they should not get so drunk that THEY’RE unable to control THEIR own behavior. You never admonished the men for getting so sloppy drunk that they cannot remember whether or not they did, in fact, rape someone.

            Women can say over and over and over again that “Yes. Common sense is to not drink too much… and that will help you see that a situation is, in fact, becoming more dangerous than you would have been able to realize if they had “taken eight shots of Patron.” That is a true statement.

            However.

            We ALSO know that the vast majority of rapes are:
            -Committed by the same relatively narrow sliver of the population who:
            -Have multiple victims
            -Avoid overt force, (which is more likely to get them prosecuted)
            -Choose victims who can be bullied and isolated and
            -Use alcohol as their tool of choice.

            http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/

            What women want to know is the answer to a very specific question:
            Why don’t we, as a society, scrutinize why this “relatively narrow sliver of the population” CHOOSES to behave in this manner?

            To women this seems, whenever we try to ask that specific question, the men who aren’t rapists instead ONLY want to discuss the rare (less than 2% of [reported] rapes) instances that are proven to be false reports. Because these men (who ARE NOT rapists) are scared to death of being accused/mistaken as one. Problem is… that the men who ARE rapists know this, and use it to camouflage themselves as that.

            Why CAN’T we finally discus that!?

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Wow, that is a dope link…

  • http://www.womenaregamechangers.com Women Are Gamechangers

    I completely agree that everyone needs to be educated on this subject. People will say how a woman should dress or act but that is not educating anyone how what rape is, how it effectives the victim or what happens to the rapists emotionally and if caught legally. I think more people should educate themselves as well as others on this very subject. Talking is always the first step but it should not end there. Young boys and men need to fully understand that their actions have consequences and it does not make them a man.

  • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com weethomas

    I think the issue is the context where your . . . followups to her article is being made.

    In a discussion about rape and victims. . . not really good.

    As a separate, stand alone, primer on appropriate behavior between men and women, yes.

    Here’s an example of what I mean. 5 seconds after your gf is involved in a fender bender is the WRONG time to talk about always checking your blind spot. While important and perhaps something she needs to do more often and perhaps if she was more aware she could have taken some steps to attempt to avoid the accident, still not the best time.

    • Holly

      This.

    • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

      Yes, exactly! To use yet another analogy (At the risk of sounding like an annoying piggybacker), it’s like when a woman say “Why do you always leave the toilet seat up?” and he replies, “Well, why do you always leave cookie crumbs in the bed?!”

      Everyone’s blaming and defensive and neither the toilet or the crumbs are addressed; just a list of grievances.

      You both make valid points but when you make yours as a reply to what she said, it hurts both arguments. Well written post though.

    • http://k-unwrapped.blogspot.com kiesh

      Agreed. This is another example of “I’m not trying to blame the victim but [insert victim blaming statement here].”

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Exactly! It’s all about timing. I mean, how can you talk about preventative measures after something already happened? Kinda cancels ish out don’t it?

      There is information on how to protect yourself all over the place, in various venues. What DOES need to get better though, is men and women coming together during these particular information sessions. I think it would be much more effective than having separate ones…

  • Scipio Africanus

    There was just a clusterfork post that touched on nearly identical themes on
    OKP yesterday.

    Like I said there, this is a nearly impossible topic to discuss.

    It’s hard to say what you’re saying without getting branded as a rape apologist.

    The only people who can make the argument you’re making and live to tell the tale, reputation intact, are women with lots of credibility. That excludes ALL men, and most non-credible women (overtly conservative women, women hostile to feminism, Chrissy Jones, etc.)

    This has become one of those topics I’ve just decided to keep my opinion to myself on and let the feminists now it if they want it.

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic King Jordan

      Agreed. Not sure this convo can be had, unless men do not offer their opinions, and simply listen.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        That can hardly be called a convo then, can it?

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        “Agreed. Not sure this convo can be had, unless men do not offer their opinions, and simply listen.”

        Eh, I’ll certainly add “ask questions” to listening as well. Obviously, there are a lot of things men don’t know. So asking DETAILED questions and offering different scenarios would help a lot, IMO. We’ve already tried the “this is wrong, period.” method in society. With EVERY crime. Doesn’t quite work much…we need more nuanced education. That’s the way I feel…

        • http://watchoutforlucille.tumblr.com/ Emily

          Ok so I’m a girl, I’ve had an experience with rape and so have many of my friends. I believe we live in a rape culture. I believe that slut shaming and victim blaming are terrible, harmful, unnecessary things that perpetuate the rape culture and damage rape victims.
          I just want to remind everyone here that men get raped too, I have a close friend that was and often I think people tend to forget that occurs because it is so much more common for the victim to be female.
          I would also like to put in a good word for the author here. I don’t think he’s attempting to make a victim blaming statement or put the responsibility on the shoulders of the women. Yes the rapist is ALWAYS to blame in instances of rape. Yes most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows (a significant other, spouse, friend, family member). But that’s not to say there aren’t things that EVERYONE can do to decrease the likelihood of a rape situation. Arguing that a rapist will rape a women regardless of whether she is intoxicated or not is fine, but that’s not to say that she won’t be better aware of her surroundings and better able to defend herself if she IS preyed on if she skipped that last shot. There’s a difference between blaming the victim and putting full responsibility on them, and recommending that we take certain precautions to protect ourselves if we need to. Everyone has the responsibility to themselves to exercise some modicum of control. That doesn’t just apply to a potential rape situation either. If you are in an unfamiliar setting, male or female, it is always wise to exercise a little extra caution in whatever you may be doing. That’s common sense. I think what the author is trying to say is that not blaming the victim doesn’t mean that women can do whatever they want and expect to be safe. There are bad people in the world and there are things we can do to protect ourselves from them, be they minor or inaccurate. He has a point.
          Finally, in the words of Emily Maguire
          “Am I arguing that girls and women shouldn’t be held responsible for their behaviour? Not at all. If a woman drinks to excess, then falls over in the street, loses her wallet and vomits all over her shirt, she has only herself to blame. But rape is not a consequence of getting drunk. It’s a consequence of a man deciding to rape someone.”
          We need to apply common sense. It may not stop anyone from getting raped or assaulted or violated, however it is the logical thing to do. Perhaps the author is incorrect to apply this to a rape situation in response to the previous article, however, he is NOT wrong in thinking that women and men alike need to be careful, exercise caution, and think before they act. It can never hurt.

  • Mo-VSS

    I want to comment but I just can’t. Way too close to home.

    • GypsyCurl

      This post is just wrong and really doesnt deserve a response. It lacks information such as the majority of sexual assaults and rapes occur in which the rapist is known (ie not a stranger) and also males can be victims of rape.

      • Mo-VSS

        I reconsidered and posted down-thread. I get what Champ is trying to say, I just think as a man it doesn’t register with him. Honestly, I think that a man, even if his mother, sister, gf or wife was/has been raped ever gets it. Prevention is key, but when do we stop turning a blind eye to rape culture and start telling men how they can help stop this sick act of control and rage against women?

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          smh. i agree with both of you.

          • Jane

            i agree.. and also to blame is PORN.. boys, men see this and all woman girl are fair game… Porn is the Devil.. !!!

            • Deviant

              Porn is NOT the devil. Please do not perpetuate that ignorance.

              • anonymous

                I don’t think it’s ignorant at all. Most porn depicts situations where a woman’s consent to sexual activity is ignored or called into question. Men and boys have greater access to porn than ever before in history, and often watch it to ‘learn’ about sex. If a male uses porn to instruct himself about sex with women, he is basically teaching himself to rape women. This is an important issue that needs to be confronted when discussing why men and boys rape and how to prevent it.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          I think that is his point, Mo-VSS, and at the same time, considering how most rape is conducted by men the victim knows well, we should also educate our women that nobody is 100% safe for a woman to let her guard down. Like you, this is too close to home for me.

        • COME ON PEOPLE

          Ok, i have one question. If men are not allowed to speak on the subject, how do they set an example and direct their children on how to behave around the opposite sex. I don’t understand why men can’t speak their mind, especially when the guy is on our side. He is saying that we need to protect ourselves as well at men need to be more respectful. No one is getting off in this article. No i have not been rape however i was abused as a child. I get it.

          • Susan

            How difficult is it for a man to tell his sons to behave like men & not like animals? Does he really need a “conversation” wherein he merely repeats the same victim-blaming statements that men who openly don’t care about women say?

            Actually, I have a much better answer. Men don’t have to talk to women at all about this. They just have to act towards women as they would like every huge, strong gay man to act towards them: polite, respectful & hands-off.

  • Iceprincess

    Obviously this article is talkn bout date rape only, because i promise u the man dragging u into the bushes @ knifepoint or climbing thru your bedroom window cud care less what u drank, wore, or when u said “no”. Rape isnt about sex. Its about power. The rapist inflicts control over the victim thru a violent act. U’d have 2 b a pretty big pathetic loser 2 rape 4 sex. It comes from a waaay more sinister place than that. Thats y rapists are so dangerous & need 2 b put UNDER the jail. Ok im done.

    • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

      Pretty much says it all..

    • Chanelle

      Rape isnt about sex. Its about power.

      Right to all of this.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Date rape can certainly feel like you did not know this person would turn into a demon and brutalize you.

  • http://twitter.com/kjnetic King Jordan

    i see what you’re saying Champ.
    i’d add my 2 cents, but i think this is a touchy subject, and i probably should just chill.
    i peep’d your article in that mag, keep doing your thing sir *salute*

  • Sharyon Culberson

    I work in this industry – the long and the short is we teach folks how NOT to take advantage of each other. I don’t COMPLETELY disagree with you – HOWEVER, you’re talking about RISK REDUCTION (not getting too drunk, walking on lit streets, etc) vs. RAPE PREVENTION…the only person who can PREVENT a rape – is the rapist. THE END. The “don’t be vulnerable” lesson is shoved at most women since day one, but VERY RARELY do we hear “don’t fukk someone over just cause you can”….THAT is why there’s more article’s like your friends out there – and GOOD FOR HER :)

    • Justmetheguy

      @Sharyon Culberson- You bring up some great points. You and The Anti-Cool have been the only two women to comment thus far that I think seem to actually understand what the Champ was trying to say and understand the difference between what he is focusing in on and what the others are saying. Risk reduction is a much more accurate description of what he and many of the men are referring to. I understand the points all the ladies are making and agree with 95% of them. There’s no way to stop a rapist from raping until he has been identified, just like a pedophile. The sad thing is that we can’t talk about the grey area of consent (that which the men in attendance can ACTUALLY control) that people perceive differently depending on gender, perception of life, closeness or distance from the situation and other case by case detail variations. I don’t know that anything productive can come from such a discussion since it seems like so many people are too furious about the subject and a society that can’t prevent it for any productive talks about where to draw lines to occur. We really would like to discuss how much/what type of consent is necessary, but we keep getting called insensitive manipulative heathens when we try. You and The-Anti-Cool have given me hope, but too many of the ladies posting have shown that they can’t put themselves in the shoes of a man (who makes a conscious effort to have a healthy sex life without taking advantage of any woman). So it doesn’t seem reasonable for me to comment on this anymore…still can’t get over the fact that some frustrated ignoramous upthread accused me of being a rapist just for pointing out the moving target that is first time sexual consent for a young man (think teens and early 20s) who’s just figuring out how courting, dating, and sexuality work in our society. I clearly stated that I don’t have this problem, but I can see how it could be confusing, and this jackass still insinuated that I may have raped someone before. To that I say f*ck you very much and good day ma’am.

      And another thing, I didn’t even bring up rape fantasies (it didn’t even cross my mind), a female commenter did, but since she did that should force everyone to address the mixed messages men often get from women who are encouraged to play coy all the while encouraging us to be aggressive, read body language, and take control…but don’t have sex with us unless we practically snatch it out your pants and shove it in there….I can see how a teenage kid would make a mistake, and I DON’T consider him a rapist. But yeah, I’m done with this convo. Blessings to you all

      • SweetSass

        “You bring up some great points. You and The Anti-Cool have been the only two Blacks to comment thus far that I think seem to actually understand what the Captain Obvious was trying to say and understand the difference between what he is focusing in on and what the others are saying. Risk reduction is a much more accurate description of what he and many of the Cop-sympathizers are referring to. I understand the points all the Blacks are making and agree with 95% of them. There’s no way to stop a racist cop from racial profiling until he has been identified, just like a pedophile. The sad thing is that we can’t talk about the grey area of police conduct in stopping Black men dis-proportionally just to scare ‘em a little or put them in their place (which cops can actually control) that people perceive differently depending on race, occupation, closeness or distance from the situation and other case by case detail variations. I don’t know that anything productive can come from such a discussion since it seems like so many people are too furious about the subject and a society that can’t prevent it for any productive talks about where to draw lines to occur. We really would like to discuss how much/what type of law enforcement is necessary, but we keep getting called insensitive manipulative heathens when we try. You and The-Anti-Cool have given me hope, but too many of the Blacks posting have shown that they can’t put themselves in the shoes of a cop (who makes a conscious effort to do their job without taking advantage of any blacks walking around town by themselves). So it doesn’t seem reasonable for me to comment on this anymore…still can’t get over the fact that some frustrated ignoramous upthread accused me of being a COP just for pointing out that rookie cops can make mistakes (think: new to the force, eager to please and has quotas) who’s just figuring out how policing and walking the beat works. I clearly stated that I don’t have this problem, but I can see how it could be confusing, and this jackass still insinuated that I may have turned snitched before. To that I say f*ck you very much and good day NINJA.

        And another thing, I didn’t even bring up entrapment (it didn’t even cross my mind), a Black commenter did, but since he did that should force everyone to address the mixed messages police often get from Blacks who are encouraged to be thugs and tough guys the while expecting we won’t just sit there and not take control…but don’t have mess with us and not expect to get knocked down a peg….I can see how a rookie cop would make a mistake, and I DON’T consider him a racist. But yeah, I’m done with this convo. Blessings to you all.”

        • Norah

          This.

          Thank you, SweetSass, for putting that statement in perspective!

    • MsPackyetti

      reading late, but thanks for the language clarity and education…risk reduction (which women should know and live by) v. rape prevention (which women have no control over) is an important distinction.

      +1 to all of what you said, and thanks for setting the record straight.

  • Hawaii

    YOOOO!!!
    I can’t even get pass the picture! Lmao!
    I know. I’m sure y’all are like, “What in thee phuck is she talking about?” but there’s a story behind that image for me and as I was typing the URL in to come over here, I was thinking about the someone that has something to do with the story behind that pic and…. yeah. My bad.
    I’ll return to comment after I read the post now.

  • http://sisterescape.blogspot.com Le Chele

    You’re point is well taken. However, most women are raped by people they know. Most women are raped in the daylight. Almost all rapes are at least partially planned. I say all of this to reinforce what rape is really about: control. And the victim, has absolutely no control. To preach to future victims (ie- women) about what they can do to prevent getting raped is ineffective, not to mention offensive. Men (the usual offenders) usurp the power women have. THAT is why there needs to be a anti-rape campaign targeting women, they are the ones with the control.

    • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

      It can’t be said enough.

    • Chanelle

      “To preach to future victims (ie- women) about what they can do to prevent getting raped is ineffective”

      I agree. Also its the type of teaching women receive that I find ineffective. They continue to tell women not to drink too much, not to wear slutty clothes, not to be promiscuous and so on and this teaching is ineffective. What they should be saying is to not leave windows open while sleeping at home, possibly wear an attack alarm when out or jogging, have pepper spray on on hand, never leave your drink unattended or something along those lines. None of these tips matter at all if the person who rapes you is someone you know (which is usually the case). Also why is it the men are never held accountable in these situations. I’ve heard people ask what the female was doing to get raped….and that is outrageous. Why are men not solely held accountable in these type of situations. If you raped somebody it is 100% your fault, I don’t care what a woman wore, how much she drunk, how late it was etc.

      • Chanelle

        Another thing I took from Champs post is “rapist are going to be rapist” (at least until they are caught that is) so do what you can to protect yourself. Although I understand that, the problem is in many rape cases there is nothing preventative women can do…..common sense or being cautious won’t keep most rapes from happening.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          I agree that a lot of times there isn’t anything women can do, not even use common sense, but again, reminding us of that is keeping us alert. There are a lot of women who get raped by men they have known for some time and when you speak to them they say “I had no idea he would be capable of doing this.” To me, that’s wrong. Thinking that a man is capable of doing that won’t stop rape, but we really can’t have that false sense of security and think “he would never do that to me.” We just can’t.

    • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

      Right! These tips kind of remind me of when the sniper was taking people out in the DC area and law enforcement was telling people to walk zig zag to their cars. Now you’re putting the responsibility in the wrong place. Focus on finding the sniper versus telling victims how not to get sniped! (I wonder how effective that ziz zag method was anyway.)

      • CPT Callamity

        It was the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard because all a Sniper would have to do is lead you a bit and still pick you off. It did make for some amusing moments though.

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          When I heard the zig zag pattern back in the day I thought John McCain was the sniper because he’s the only person who can’t move his arms.

        • Eddie_Brock

          Truth! It’s how I’m getting most of my kills as I learn how to play Call of Duty…