One of my favorite songs is the chart-topping Tavares song, “It Only Takes A Minute Girl”. I love this song. It makes me want to hug squirrels and emu. If you’re unfamiliar with this song, you should find it quickly. You will love it like I do. Or you shall feel the grapes of wrath.
(I’m not actually sure if the plural for emu is emu or emus. So just be aware that when I say emu in that second sentence, I mean more than one emu. I’m also too lazy to look that up. )
The title of the song got me to thinking about this saying: It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love somebody, and a lifetime to forget someone. Or something like that. Removing the literal interpretation of that statement and I have a question and I get to wondering how quickly you can actually fall for somebody.
Screw that, here’s the better question, who falls “in love” faster – men or women?
Now, in my estimation, and judging by the number of relationships that I’ve been in where a woman has told me she loved me before I knew her last name, I’m inclined to think that women fall harder, better, faster, stronger. Now this could be easily explained by the mere fact that so many women seem to be looking for love….actively. Like standing on the side of a road with signs that say “Will Sing, Strip, and Cook for Love”.
Seriously, I saw a woman with this sign. By the way, that last sentence is completely fabricated. If you don’t know what fabricated means, then that first sentence is totally true.
Now what’s interesting about this observation is that most women I know are very guarded about their vulnerabilities. This seems to fly in the face of falling so quickly. Yet, we all know women who meet a dude and 2 hours later she’s naming their imaginary children and scribbing his name on her Palm Pilot Etch-A-Sketch. But alas, you can’t stop your heart from feeling what it feels.
Unless its heartburn, in which case you should find an antacid.
Of course, children, this is not to say that men don’t fall hard. I’ve been the victim of the Fastfall. I met some chick and before I knew it I found myself mysteriously interested in a woman I’d known for all of 3 hours. I guess you can’t argue chemistry but truth is, I’ve never worried about getting screwed over in a relationship either, so for me, falling fast isn’t so much a problem. I don’t assume that all women are triflin’ ho*z – despite having dated two outwardly trifing ho*z. (Seriously…one of my ex’s ACTUALLY asked me if her ex-boyfriend could spend the night with her while we were dating– not to sleep with her, but because he was in town for the weekend. I told her “sure, while you’re at it, get pregnant too. So she did.) So it seems that for men, like me, who aren’t really trying to guard their emotions and all that jazz, falling hard is just one of those byproducts of a big butt and a smile.
Naw, that’s the old style.
But perhaps I’m shortsighted. I know there are lots of other chaps out there who meet a woman and get all enamored and blindsided by some woman they barely know and get messed up in the game because they go professing their love and it becomes unrequited. Next think you know, she’s out tricking or something and you roll by Cheesecake Factory and see her and because she’s supposed to be at her grandma’s house, where she said she’d be, you have no choice but to go in their and yank her the fu…
Um. Never mind.
Either way, citizens, who do you thinks falls faster? The easy money seems to be on the women, but are men just as prone to fall in 2 shakes of a lambs tale? And if we assume that women do fall faster, what does that say about the contradiction of most women doing everything they can to not get screwed over by being guarded?
What say you?
Say you, say me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
P.S. I’d like to thank so many folks for signing up for the DC Happy Hour. I’m working on setting the date for that right now. Just need to hammer out the particulars and we’ll be shooting out some information soon. Should be a blast though, and I’d like to say I’d buy everybody a drink, but that’d be a lie. Cheers!
i cant say i think either sex falls in love faster…like you said, chemistry is chemistry. but it would appear that women are more likely to have negative consequences from falling faster.
but sh*t, what do i know? ive never been in love…
You’ve never been in love? Wow. My problem is that I fall in love too easily.
nah…ive been infatuated and smitten and all that junk. but i really think to be “in love” somebody gotta be in there with you! otherwise, its just pining…
but thats just my take.
I agree…I think that to truely love someone, there has to be some level of mutuality. Otherwise, it simply a strong infatuation or being smitten. I think you have to know what love feels like, to actually be capable of loving.
i like the word smitten a lot. i think its what actually happens to most people who fall quickly.
however, i have to wonder how there has to be mutuality to be in love with somebody? how you feel can exist totally independent of other people, no?
“I like the word smitten a lot. i think its what actually happens to most people who fall quickly.”
I like “smitten” too…outside of it’s meaning, it has a nice ring to it. Rolls off the tongue nicely.
“however, i have to wonder how there has to be mutuality to be in love with somebody? how you feel can exist totally independent of other people, no?”
I do think that my (and anyone else’s) feelings can exist independently of someone else. The issue I have is falling “in love” without being loved (or having an understanding of what love feels like). Mind you, I’ve never been in love. I’ve been “smitten”
and even infatuated (I was a youngin 
), but never love. My biggest issue was that I never “felt” like the person loved me, or showed me the level of affection or attention that I needed for those feelings to turn into love.
I could possibly be alone in this, it be like that sometimes, but my feelings never blossomed into love.
“how you feel can exist totally independent of other people, no?”
Absolutely. You can be in love with someone without them feeling the same. You can know someone well, watch them interact with people, see them as a human being, thier strengths and weaknessess, etc., and realize you truly love them for all of that. Whether they reciprocate is a whole other thing.
I think it depends on how you look at love. If love is more than an emtions but an action, something you actively display, pursue & perform on a daily basis, than it is impossible to be in love WITH someone if they are there as well. You can have those intense feelings and display them but if the other person isnt reciprocating then you are not WITH them in love. What you are doing is, loving them/loving on them.
That is why I say I have been IN love twice. I have loved more than two guys but only 2 were with me in the process actively trying to make it work and turn it into something bigger and greater than just that feeling we each had
Okay, I feel what you’re saying and see how you make the distinction.
I guess for me, love and being in love are different because I love a lot of my friends dearly and would do anything for them, but I am not in love with them. However, there have been men that were more to me than friends, and I was IN love with them…whther they were or not. It didn’t make my feelings or actions toward them any less indicative of the love I felt. It was much more intense than just “Oh yeah, I love you”…if that makes any sense. You can love someone and not be in love with them, that happens every day. But if you are lucky enough to be in love with someone who is also in love with you..man.
I think if a dude falls in love OD quick it’s because shorty did sumthin magical in the sheets. Not to say dudes can’t fall in love with a chick for non-physical reasons…cuz that does happen too. I’d definitely have to say women are more prone to this happening than men. Some of my boys have numerous stories about chicks who have fallen in love with them though they did nothing extravagant or worthy of such feelings…well, unless you count an outstanding late night performance. Not to say I was at the door listening to any of their escapades or anything…..
“I think if a dude falls in love OD quick it’s because shorty did sumthin magical in the sheets.”
Interesting you would say that Slim Jackson. I just had this conversation with a friend of mine. When a guy is whipped, he’ll do almost anything–even fall in love.
“I think if a dude falls in love OD quick it’s because shorty did sumthin magical in the sheets.”
you know what though? i’ve known of people falling in love without even getting a sniff of the panties. not saying it happens often with us, but it does happen
we (women) fall faster. and i blame it on barbies and babydolls. who didn’t dress up barbie in a catsuit just to woo ken and plan their wedding in the barbie van? (i even made a barbie house out of building blocks and they made sweet sweet love all the time…i.have.issues.) …and who didn’t walk around ‘pretending’ to feed milk to their babydoll before they memorized their times tables?
it’s the way we’re socialized. so, sue us.
p.s.- on a separate note, i had a vsb dream. i dreamt luvvie had tickets to a 50 cent concert and invited me and some of the ladies along. luvvie had backstage passes. after a serious of long hallways and doors and secret handshakes we got to what was supposed to be the backstage only to discover it was the upper tier of the concert stadium. it was such a let down. why? i don’t even know luvvie nor do i like 50 cent. what say YOU?
i think you said it yourself, pattycake….
you.have.issues.
lol
agreed.
agreed?
ey! pipe down baby panda lover!
that’s gangsta baby panda lover to you!
“who, didn’t dress up barbie in a catsuit just to woo ken ”
that would be me. Barbie always wore very modest clothing in my house, though she never wore drawels…hmmm I wonder what that says about me
As for your dream, stop eating so late
Yayyy Patty!!! U dreamt bout me. U musta missed me!!
And I’m not a fan of G-Unit either.
“i dreamt luvvie had tickets to a 50 cent concert and invited me and some of the ladies along. luvvie had backstage passes. after a serious of long hallways and doors and secret handshakes we got to what was supposed to be the backstage only to discover it was the upper tier of the concert stadium. it was such a let down. why? i don’t even know luvvie nor do i like 50 cent.”
……………………….
……………………….
……………………….
I can not speak for all women (cause I would be talking forever and get real thirsty), but for myself I know I fall hard and fast, but I think its because of like you so eloquently postulated “so many women seem to be looking for love….actively.” I think because I actively look for love I have a greater change to fall. I also tend to fall in lust even quicker, which is a whole other topic. Needless to say, I haven’t fallen in love this week, it’s early, give me a day or two we will see what develops.
lol…i’ll check up on you tomorrow!
you know, i said before ive never been in love, which is true. however, i tend to throw the word around quite a bit. wonder what thats all about….
I thought u were a love thug, IH! I didn’t take you as the one to fall in love quick.
Oh no I fall in love hard and fast, however I have a unique skill to know who is only lust worthy and good for a roll in the um… you know. But when I find one that I believe fits the part of the future Mr. IH, oh its fast and furious. I haven’t found someone since October 2006…alas my unrequited love. It’s a sad tale
awwww! *e-hug*
im also good at telling who is only good for a late night stroll down DO ME lane, and who could be in the running for my future ex husband….but most of the time, tend to ignore that and still want them to commit. lol…truly silly.
ME TOO…. IH… you were/are my e-sister inspiration. IH in my head is too regal to go falling for foolish ninja’s. I clearly see you telling “something good” and let’em know where to go……
hmmmmmm
WAIT, understand I don’t fall for “falling for foolish ninja’s” When I fall, like my current fall we will refer to him as my “unrequited love”, he has all the credentials you want in a man, hes good looking, he’s, he’s thoughtful, he is… everything. He just is way too far away. BOO!
I don’t fall for the foolish, when I fall hard its usually for the right one, in this case it’s just the wrong time.
Like that old Bonnie Rait song, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t and I can’t make your heart feel something it wont”
in the past i’ve fallen in lust fast too. but in the moment i usually mistake the lust for love, until the p*nis gets taken away and then i’m like, doh!
i have a friend who i swear falls in love at least once a week. i can’t take her no where without her meeting some guy, talking for 5 minutes, and then swearing dude could be the father of her children.
personally, i think she just has daddy issues.
“i have a friend who i swear falls in love at least once a week”
her name isn’t “liz burr” is it?
(lol…sorry lizzard, i couldn’t pass that one up)
actually, no, this is a different one. LOL. i’m mad you outted liz…
“And if we assume that women do fall faster, what does that say about the contradiction of most women doing everything they can to not get screwed over by being guarded?”
A lot of women (including myself on occasions) remain guarded but for some insane reason not guarded to let someone new in, but guarded once we get that person in our life, thus causng all types of issues, and wonder why you can’t keep a relationshp going…..
ive found that being guarded about my feelings doesnt keep me from gettin all smitten with a dude, it just keeps me from telling him about it….but either way, he acts a fool, im still hurt. its just a matter of whether he knows it or not
A lot of women (including myself on occasions) remain guarded but for some insane reason not guarded to let someone new in, but guarded once we get that person in our life, thus causng all types of issues, and wonder why you can’t keep a relationshp going…..
we might be twins. or at least we should start a support group.
i don’t think either sex falls harder, it depends on the individual. of course, the stereotype that gets played up is that women are the one who be writing “mrs jackson” on their notebooks in class and whatnot, mainly i think because men, not women, are expected by society to be less showy about their emotions or risk being branded – gasp! – fruity.
personally, i fall in lust, not love, pretty hard – if a dude is really very hot, he might have me fantasising all the way through econ 101 not about what to name our babies, but what names he would call me when we were going half on a baby.
By Puff: “Personally, I fall in lust, not love, pretty hard.”
I cosign with that.
WE INTERUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED SNARKY REMARK TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL UPDATE
***HEADLINE***
DA MAN GOT HIP TO WU DA MAN
I have it on good authority that the plantation that Wu Da Man works for is now tracking the “internet use” of all its workers, thus our beloved Wu Da Man will not be frequenting us with his unique vernacular and wise words until such time that he can circumvent the Orwellian “Man”, those who bought the Wu to English translation dictionary or hired a personal interpreter can write The Champ directly for their refund. Refunds will only be issued for unused merchandise.
WE KNOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULED SNARKY VSB REMARKS
awww, poor wu-wu! damn the man!
pouring out a little liquor for our fallen compadre
Note: liquor is being poured into my red cup.
“Note: liquor is being poured into my red cup.”
It is too early for this nonsense. I almost choked on my tea….hell, I might need some liquor in this tea to make it thru the day…
OH NOO!!! WE don lost Wu!!
We must have a memorial service in his honor. Potluck?? Who is bringing what?
i’ll bring the red flavored kool-aid and a bag of ketchup chips…
I’ll bring a Rock Creek ginger ale and a bag of Utz Crab Chips. And some cherry Jolly Ranchers for dessert.
Jungle Juice and Vienna sausages are on me
damn.
it’s so cooooooooooooooooooold in the D
e-RIP wu da man (for now…)
(shout out to t-baby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aktLRiWXfqg)
Maaan, that’s messed up. He had me ready to step my PB&J game up and everything.
not wuda!!! tell him to post at midnight like us west coasters. lol….wait a second IH what are you doing up this late?
Oh hell no, I WANT my translating money.
Now.
*singing the VSB version of DRS’s landmark and groundbreaking classic song, “Gangsta Lean”*
‘this is for yo’ commentsssss…you know we miss them yeah you know we gon’ miss them yeah/see you when you change jobs, in that blogster lean, that blogster lee-ee-an”
“‘this is for yo’ commentsssss…you know we miss them yeah you know we gon’ miss them yeah/see you when you change jobs, in that blogster lean, that blogster lee-ee-an””
p, do you need some toast or something?
a brotha’s feelin sentimental….
godspeed, young wu. godspeed.
“I been gone for a minute, now I’m back (its the jumpoff)”
Did yall miss me while I was gone last week??
You didnt?? FUHGET YOU THEN!! *runs and cries in corner*
yay! luvvie’s back! so, how goes the job search? that was you right?
naw, that was goodie. i miss goodie too. did everyone buy that massaging hairbrush she was selling? that reminds me, i need to put in my order.
yeah, i knew it was goodie…just messin wit luvvie! *big grin*
Yeah I’m also job hunting. Goodie’s came after me (Igs unemployed is a sad thang)
oh i didnt know about your status….well, good luck on your search too, my dear!
you’re back! i got your plate of jollof, plantain and fried chicken in the oven waiting.
puff, can i get a plate too? and i need a double order of those plantains.
lol i got you girl, don’t even worry about it.
Ah ah!! Thank you my sista! Let me go wash my hands so I can eat. I will bring the Bailey’s.
oh, now its a party!
biko, no forget my Guinness!
No Vex, Puff. I have ur Stout too.
LUVVIE!!!!!!!
Your back!!!!
**throws confetti, blows trumpet, starts singing, “HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN”**
**looks at other VSB’ers and asks, Luvvie was gone?****
I jest, we missed you. How’s the Jumpoff?
“I jest, we missed you. How’s the Jumpoff?”
all she wanna do is party, buy everybody in the club bacardi…
Thats why I luvvv you Shatani!! You got the reference.
“Black Barbie dressed in Bogardy
I’m tryin to leave in somebody’s Ferrari
Spread love that’s what a real ma do
Keep it gangsta look out for her people”
*Gangsta stance*
i missed you luvvie!
you were gone?
word?
lol. jokes.
welcome back and sh*t.
welcome back and sh*t.
now go get your f*ckin shinebox
I believe the plural for emu is emus. I know this because my grandmother owned roughly 15 emus on our farm when I was a kid. This was in addition to our two ostriches.
E-I-E-I-O
LMAO!!!
jokes! LOL.
awww, i just wanted to sing-a-long lizzie! lol
did you ever eat ostrich eggs for breakfast? ever since i saw one of them huge a$$ sh*ts’ shells, i’ve been curious about what they tasted like… makes me think of the flintstones and whatnot.
I ate one when was a kid but I can’t remember what it tastes like. Though if you ever stop over in Nairobi you can head to Canivore which has game meat in all forms crocodile, zebra, ostrich and almost everything wild you can think of.
hm. perhaps i haven’t lived b/c the THOUGHT of eating ostrich eggs ain’t not never once crossed my mind.
No we would collect the eggs and just let them sit there kinda like paper weights. We def weren’t interested in eating them but we talked about it. We had our own chickens though, so we always ate those eggs,
“This was in addition to our two ostriches.”
I’ve always wanted to ride one, but i know that they aren’t exactly like horses.
i had some roaches. but it wasn’t a farm. it was inside my home. oh, and i found a mouse once.
damn u Panama **shaking fists at monitor**
I spit out my coffee all over my keyboard
thanks. now my monitor has white chocolate mocha dripping down it AND i’m late to class.
you all have no idea about how many “back home” stories the lizzzard has. we’ve known each other for a few years and i still learn something new every week, lol
LOLOL! I kno right. I gots plenty more to share Champ!
liz. where’s our happy hour? huh? and we have better weather than d.c.! what’s up with that?
I kno right. well i think we should have at least one VSB for ours, so i gotta figure out which one will come. P is busy and Champ never goes anywhere. Slim pickins.
“Unless its heartburn, in which case you should find an antacid.”
If only that was the remedy for folks falling in love too quick.
Overall, I would say women fall in love quicker…only because some of us confuse lust with love. Just because the heart might beat a little faster when he’s around or thought of, it doesn’t mean it’s love. You can get the same reaction from drinking too much caffeine.
or doing a line of coke.
lol Shatani
or doing a line of coke.
hmmm is that why you are up so late? LOL
imma plead the fiff….
…there is no such thing as too much caffiene…lol, My name is Alise and I am a coffee junkie…. but any-hoo, I totally agree with the confusion of love and lust, it has gotten me in lots of heartbreak…
Im really good at differentiating love and lust, and usually I know when Im falling into one or the other.
“You can get the same reaction from drinking too much caffeine.”
I get that reaction when I take a zyrtec, the first time it happened I thought I was falling for this dude that I knew was gay (not that there is anything wrong with that), then I realized I took a zyrtec that morning
“I get that reaction when I take a zyrtec, the first time it happened I thought I was falling for this dude that I knew was gay (not that there is anything wrong with that), then I realized I took a zyrtec that morning”
LOL Intellectual Hedonist. Lust or Zyrtec will confuse the mind every time.
Women are looking for committed relationships and are more prone to want commitment, but a lot of women look for commitment then love, where with men I find it’s the other way around. I also find that the older people are and the more bad relationships full of infidelity and distrust they have experienced the more guarded they become and the more prone to the “love me before I love you” mind frame regardless of whether they are men or women.
oooh, excellent point! ive found myself wanting a commitment from a man for no good reason on a few occasions….i stood back and was like, “um…i barely like this guy!”
im gonna try and do it the guy way from now on…
***raising hand and point finger at the top of my head***
GUILTY as charged
“but a lot of women look for commitment then love, where with men I find it’s the other way around”
seriously, how retarded is this? why in sam hill would a man commit to some chippy he doesn’t at least THINK he loves?
that is so bassackwards its no wonder the divorce rate is so high.
it’s so cold in the sheets.
“seriously, how retarded is this? why in sam hill would a man commit to some chippy he doesn’t at least THINK he loves?”
chick logic, 101
i’m gonna totally disregard the champ’s “chick logic” comment and say that the whole commitment before love thing makes a little sense to me. but to me commitment means that he put his d*ck on hold (i.e. monogamy). i can’t let lose the emotions until i know dude is done playin’ the field.
“i can’t let lose the emotions until i know dude is done playin’ the field.”
and by “know” you mean “think”, right?
and by “know” you mean “think”, right?
yeah…i suppose. but i know…at least that’s what my gut tells me. plus i perform background checks and satellite monitoring.
and by “know” you mean “think”, right?
no by “know” I mean dude has agreed to a verbal contract of monogamy. Of course you cant “know” 100 percent but it is not an assumption.
on a different note are you saying that men can never be trusted?
“one of my ex’s ACTUALLY asked me if her ex-boyfriend could spend the night with her while we were dating– not to sleep with her, but because he was in town for the weekend.”
I don’t even know how I would answer that…..About the topic, I would say women fall in love faster than men. Of course I’ve seen exceptions such as my sister’s ex saying that he’s in love with her 2 days after they start dating, but generally men tend to be more guarded about their feelings.
but generally men tend to be more guarded about their feelings.
I think men wait to actually develop feelings whereas a lot of woman transfer all of their hopes and dreams onto any man they meet that they feel is relationship material.. and dont let said man be laying it down in the bedroom…but as far as actual factual love…I guess it depends on the definition. I have been in love twice but I have been seriously committed and thought it was love about 6 times.
think men wait to actually develop feelings whereas a lot of woman transfer all of their hopes and dreams onto any man they meet that they feel is relationship material..
This is such a true statement. Thanks for that angle
i told her to do it. lol. the fact that she had the audacity to ASK meant our relationship was ending. lol. at the point you ask me that i know you finna hit.
she did. and had the nerve to call me two years later on some “confessions” shit. i laughed and was like, “of course i knew you hit…why do you think WE.BROKE.UP.”
interestingly, this chick was very bitter at me for breaking up with her. she even went so far as to track me down in Atlanta to tell me she was married. and when i say track me down, like driving down MLK numerous times looking for me. she found me one day when she rolled down my street passed my old house and i just happened to be in the neighborhood.
stalker much? mos def.
i got stories for days about this chick…shucks, she might get her own week otu this mammajamma.
I’m a thug. I don’t fall in love hard.
That is all.
and you are the luvvvv of my life! what? too soon? sorry…
“I’m a thug. I don’t fall in love hard.”
For some reason, I found that hilarious. I’m with you on this one though. I’ll fall in love if shorty hides my stash when the alphabet boys come knockin at my door. I’ll also fall in love if she’ll pull out a chick’s hair and drag her across the ground.
I’ll also fall in love if she’ll pull out a chick’s hair and drag her across the ground.
Now is she doing this because of you or is that just how shorty gets down when its time?
maybe she’s doing it to defend his honor?
see I am trying to figure out if he is attracted to a chick that can hold her own and throw them blows or is it a “crazy deranged”chick that will go crazy with jealousy over him and attack random waitresses and coat check broads for looking at him ala Martin you so crazy..Your JOOOB is to check coats…. Check em bytch..LOL.. there is a big difference….
I think I have dabbled in both types of chicks in my lifetime. The crazy and deranged type try to ruin lives. The “hold her own” type can be just as crazy and deranged. Though, it’s nice knowing that if someone tries to get at her, she’ll throw bows rather than just mumbling things under her breath when the person isn’t around. Cowardly shenanigans (pronounced typical prissy backstabber chick behavior) do not get my love.
“Your JOOOB is to check coats…. Check em bytch..”
I love you, Shay-D…I GOTTA buy that damn dvd.
we don’t believe you, you need more people.
plus…yo’ name Luvvie.
“I’m a thug. I don’t fall in love hard.”
**insert more people**
But what is funny the self proclaimed thug is usually the first one head over heels with some loser, I tried to be that same thug, and the more I resisted falling in love/lust/chemical imbalance the quicker and and heavier it caught my punk a$$….
Let’s measure who falls harder and faster in love by how the most extreme of break-ups go:
A woman is scorned by that guy she fell hard and fast for=property damage.
A man is scorned by that sweet thang he fell hard and fast for= a homocide.
lmao! thats what sommore said about dating white dudes….
i think that a lot of the time, men break up worse, cuz theyve lost more….women can go to their girls and commiserate and b*tch and moan and cry and get it all out. but men cant do that with their boys, it used to be their woman that they would share emotions with and now she gone…theyve got no outlet. just a theory…
Sound theory, Shatani. It may also explain why they elect to set the chick on fire or chop her head off instead of simply slashing her tires or flooding her apartment when she leaves him.
It may also explain why they elect to set the chick on fire or chop her head off instead of simply slashing her tires or flooding her apartment when she leaves him.
LOL I think its more that with women most of the time we have been wronged, not broken up with so you are trying to let go of the anger and embarrasment you feel, its not really a I Love you so much I cant bear the thought of you with somebody else.. the murderer is feeling the latter..
“i think that a lot of the time, men break up worse, cuz theyve lost more….women can go to their girls and commiserate and b*tch and moan and cry and get it all out. but men cant do that with their boys, it used to be their woman that they would share emotions with and now she gone…theyve got no outlet. just a theory…”
this is a good point
****Singing Hall & Oates She’s Gone****
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZZngTkp54I
Thanks for the “ol skool” moment of the day
A woman is scorned by that guy she fell hard and fast for=property damage.
A man is scorned by that sweet thang he fell hard and fast for= a homocide.
True, true….
i aint saying it aint true…
i just think y’all watch too many crime scene investigator tv shows is all i’m saying.
I guess we read the news too much too, huh?
Men are craaazy these days. Its JUST a va jay jay my dude, you can find another one, I promise.
Because I am a dork (and bored at work today), I looked up some DOJ stats: “Female homicide victims are more than twice as likely to have been killed
by husbands or boyfriends than male victims are to have been killed by wives or girlfriends.”….
there you go ruining my opinion-based statement with facts.
thank you.
there’s some sound theory behind my statement though…women pay for hitmen.
done. i’ve seen a lifetime movie or two before!
I’ve seen those same Lifetime joints
*point served*
Booyah!
Thanks n’ sh*t, Mama.
I know I fall quickly. On the other hand, it’s a rather shallow fall. Cuz I somewhat easily get over the guy at some point. Out of all the dudes I have “fallen” for, I think only one really meant something to me in the long run.
but what about those LONG A$$ short runs?
LOL! I admit the short runs went WAY TOO LONG. Like I got months of my time that are owed back to me lolol. I need a limit.
Falling in love and lust can be differentiated pretty easily using these terms.
Love = I want to have your kids, oil your scalp (shoutout to VEG), see your flaws but I don’t care. The sex is good, but it ain’t the most important thing we have. Shoot, you make me think bouts 401Ks so we good for that condo in Boca in 30 years.
Lust = I can’t figure out how I lived this long w/o the prowess of your powerful peni (YAY for alliteration!!). You are an adonis in the dark (or light. depends on what you prefer), and you make me freakier than I usually find myself.
If you can find someone to love AND lust after, you are a lucky woman.
yeah, that cements it. shatani aint neva been in love. and now im holding out for that Double L…
“powerful peni”
my keyboard is now covered in coke.
that aside, your descriptions of the two (lust vs love) are completely on point… you have me wanting to whip out some dax pomade (or some shea butter/aloe vera/rosemary oil blend for those earthy types) and find a dry-scalped ni99a.
I agree and disagree see I think that you will think about children and material things with soemone you are not in love with given the stage of life you are in. I have alot of friends between the ages of 31&35 and they think about these things with every ninja they date.. however the greasing of the scalp? all love..
I think your definition of lust is spot on.. so maybe love makes you willing to think about things differentlyand do things you’ve never done (not in regards to s.e.x.., is it just me but are you more prone to be adventurous and uninhibited with a guy you are not in love with in the bedroom?)
its not just you.
whats the thought process behind that, I wonder?
probably less fear of judgment and less vulnerability…its easy to just do you when youre not particularly concerned with what the other person thinks of you.
oh wait…that’s love? now i gotta rethink my past and shit.
I know I am late on this but I rubbed a negroe’s scalp and didn’t love him…
Women.
If I had a dollar for ever dude my friend ^&(#*&$ or @#&%@ fell in “love” with in what seem like 2 weeks, I’d be a rich woman.
“Women.”
i seriously considered having this, plus a “smh” at the end of it, for an entire entry one day.
Do you need a hug?
“Do you need a hug?”
sure. i can always use some puppies on my chest.
come here.
“come here.”
*looks around like paranoid-ass Rockwell*
Okay, did you talk to one of my exes or something? “Come here” works on me everytime. Sigh.
Dammit, here I come, Champ.
*E-Hugs you too tightly…then walks out, looking around for an ex that may be lurking in the darkness giving you the thumbs-up*
@ 8th~ DON’T GO ITS A TRICK HE JUST WANTS TO FEEL YOUR “some puppies” ON HIS CHEST AND SNEAK AN A$$ PEAK~ DON’T GO!
Girl, its too late, he had me at come here.
Don’t worry though, I just hugged it and quit it.
“@ 8th~ DON’T GO ITS A TRICK HE JUST WANTS TO FEEL YOUR “some puppies” ON HIS CHEST AND SNEAK AN A$$ PEAK~ DON’T GO!”
sounds like someone’s mad they havent had a champ hug in a couple weeks
First off, thanks for making me laugh. This was ridiculous…and sorry about the triflin gho of an ex.
Funny that you bring this up. I was just wondering if there is a particular time line/limit in regards to falling in love. I just watched a ridiculous episode of “Bridezilla’s” where a couple became engaged within 6 weeks of knowing each other. The couple from last week, decided to get married within 6 months. Call me a cynic, but I feel like you can’t possibly know your SO completely if you haven’t been committed for 2-3 years. But that’s just my preference.
I’d say that women, as a whole, tend to fall faster. I also feel that men have the potential to fall fast, depending on the girl. Women may fall faster repeatedly, but men will also do it a time or two…and that time or two, will undoubtedly affect how he treats every single woman that he comes in contact with following that fast falling love.
Case in point, my boyfriend during my college days, told me within 2 months that he was in love with me. It shocked the hell out of me and scared me as well. The funny thing is, I’d been in his shoes in my other relationships prior and after we broke up..not actually telling the person, but still feeling that I was in love. Thinking back to when my ex revealed his feelings, it caused me to re-think how I shared my feelings with men or how I proceeded after realizing that my desire to be serious may be one sided.
Also, his hurt from our break up, caused him to treat future folks like crap on a stick.
*sniffle*
it’s okay, thanks for the esupport.
lol.
i had a chick tell me that she loved me 2 weeks after i met her. then i had another chick allude to it like she was waiting for me to say it first within a month…
…that relationship was long distance by the way. and we weren’t dating. we were IMing. by the way, I’d never actually spoken to her. as in she’d never heard my voice.
“…that relationship was long distance by the way. and we weren’t dating. we were IMing. by the way, I’d never actually spoken to her. as in she’d never heard my voice.”
ah yes. the famed “instant messenger/chat” goggles, quite possibly the deadliest goggle of them all
@The Champ,
I’m truly late on this, but I must say the IM goggles can do you in. Word of advice: When you get that message that he’s been thinking about you all day and you were on his mind, ask him how many other people did he send that message to because you weren’t the first & only. LOL
I don’t think there’s a time limit when it comes to falling in love but I’m very cautious of a man who tells me he’s in love after only knowing me a short time.
When a person is QUICK to fall in love, they seem to be just as quick to fall OUT of love.
Women..fall in love. Because we are such emotional creatures…we cant help it.
Men..fall in lust, first..then it may turn into love..
Either way..each one of em will end up with a broken heart..lol
Dang..im more than a lil jaded on this topic..lol
“Women..fall in love. Because we are such emotional creatures…we cant help it.”
or unstable creatures. but…whatever. lol.
“Dang..im more than a lil jaded on this topic..lol”
why’s that, aja? talk to us and sh*t
Love..pfft!
Imma just plead the “fif” on that..lol
I think that women are more likely to fall in love more times than men. Once a man falls hard and lands on his face, he’s over it. And its gonna take a wonderfully patient woman to get him back there again. We women wear our hearts on our sleeves. After it gets ripped off, we’ll complain to our girlfriends for a couple weeks, watch Love Jones and be back in the game. Thats just how we’re programmed.
In terms of time, I think we all jump the gun and anticipate love. At least once. But a lot of people, both men and women, are just serial lovers. They meet someone they’re cool with and instantly believe they’ve found ‘the one.’ I just listen knowing all the well it’ll be someone else next week.
and Love Jones makes its first appearance.
i think i’m gonna track how much love jones has been referenced since we started this site.
start a pool to see who’s right.
“Once a man falls hard and lands on his face, he’s over it. And its gonna take a wonderfully patient woman to get him back there again.”
good point
I know that some where out there, someone did the research on this and can provide the numbers.
From experience, women have professed their love for me before i knew their last names (just like you did…)
but that’s anecdotal.
judgese use anecdotal evidence so it works for me.
“(Seriously…one of my ex’s ACTUALLY asked me if her ex-boyfriend could spend the night with her while we were dating– not to sleep with her, but because he was in town for the weekend. I told her “sure, while you’re at it, get pregnant too. So she did.”
Wow. She had balls like casavas…
Anyway, I think women fall faster… Don’t get it twisted, there definitely are some Samantha (from Sex and the City) women out there, but I think women become that way as a defense mechanism. I think we are programmed to love and after so many times, getting hurt, one can become guarded and emotionless. I’ve definitely been there and have been told that I’m “like a man.” Truth is, I’m a completely softy but all of that is kept on the inside…
The women who are like Samantha from S&TC are the ones who get guys who want to be in a committed relationship. I worked with one girl in DC who flat out told men that she doesn’t do relationships and that she can’t commit to one man. She had so many men who would ask her to be their girlfriend and would get upset when she wouldn’t commit and continued to date other men.
Maybe I need to switch up my methods and take a clue from your friend. LOL.
i agree the whole “Im not ready for a relationship” particularly when you really AREN’T works too.
but when yo @zz is ready…you got problems. LOL.
I think women fall in-love easier and faster than men but men fall hard when it happens. When we fall in love, we become jealous crazy mofos. Early sexual exploits will guarantee lust but rarely love or at least not for the right reasons.
-J.M.
Men do fall in love harder. Women in fall love faster but they also fall out of love faster, whereas once a man falls in love with a women, the love lasts a long time even after the relationship is over.
“…whereas once a man falls in love with a women, the love lasts a long time even after the relationship is over.”
hmmm…can’t say i agree with this. the love isn’t there…at all. not for her, not for anybody. our hears become nuclear blast ground zero…uninhabitable for years to come
yeah, i’m gonna have to agree with the champster here…when i’m done. i’m done. the fade from memory doesn’t even take that long.
hell, i forgot one of my ex’s last names once. and we had something real.
or not.
lord…. i’m in the middle of this right now! logically, i tell myself that it must be infatuation, coz he’s just so beautiful to me in every way possible…. but i feel suuuch lurrve, i have to seriously bite back from saying those magical three words, coz he’s sure to think i’m some sort of crazy potential stalker-type, so early in…. *sigh*
well that depends…is early in…3 days?
no darling, more like 6 months – but we’re heeeectically long distance – so i’ve made myself hold back until we spend a chunk of time in each others space, then i can see. (ps, pls check your mail – i need your help!!)
I really dont know the answer to this one. I that in my adult life I have had more men tell me they love me first. To which I have always responded, ‘No, honey you love the thought of me.’ They hadnt yet seen my flaws and I dont think a person can make that determination until they have seen someone’s flaws and say ‘Eff it, I’mma stick with this nutty mofo anyway.’
I have falled twice. Each time it went up in flames. I believe I may be currently doing it for a third time. It scared me. I must put a stop to it.
‘No, honey you love the thought of me.’
i love that response….i usually just say, “you dont even know me!” this one young boy was talkin bout he’s in love with me and im like, “word? whats my last name?” *blank stare*
“i love that response….i usually just say, “you dont even know me!” this one young boy was talkin bout he’s in love with me and im like, “word? whats my last name?” *blank stare*”
smh…that’s funny. i went through this with an ex. we were definitely past the what’s-your-last-name stage and had been spending quite a bit of time together but he actually came out of the love box first and it totally threw me. i think i told him didn’t love me and he kept telling me he did. i thought it was too soon, although i can’t remember how far into the relationship we were at that point but i couldn’t say it back because i wasn’t there yet. i mean, i got there but it was really unexpected.
now that i think about it, that’s the second time that happened to me. my first love actually told me he loved me first. and he was a thug. lol.
now that i think about it, that’s the second time that happened to me. my first love actually told me he loved me first. and he was a thug. lol.
thugs fall quick and fast..in my experience..
lol. this dude has us married with kids from 8th grade, on! i have no doubt that if i still wanted to be with him i could make that happen. if he wasn’t in jail that is…but records aside, he was the first person to show me what unconditional love was outside of my family. and to this day when me and my girls play ‘if i could make a man from all the ones that came before,’ i hope for a man to love and adore me with no conditions the way he did.
i just had a thought! (i know, its mad early in the morning for that isht…)
is there a difference between saying “i love you” and “im in love with you”??? cuz i mean, im IN love with Ryan Gentles….but i dont know him, so i cant say i love him (yet!)
just a thought….like i said, i toss the word around quite a bit
there’s a definite difference and for me, its the other way around.
i think you can love all kinds of folks. i got mad love for many of my friends. to be in love requires a deeper level of something…
that first thought in the morning and last thought at night lovin…
that otis redding, clarence carter lovin’…
…that love that makes you examine song lyric lovin…
There is a big difference being in love and loving someone. .I love my friends, family, even my ex-boyfriend. I love and I am In love with my husband..
one of my favorite poems explains it…
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, — I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
“is there a difference between saying “i love you” and “im in love with you”???”
big difference.
How so?
HUGE difference…
btw Champ… how’d you like the black and gold being schooled yesterday?
*i love football*
Ha!
Go Eagles!
That is all.
“Ha!
Go Eagles!
That is all.”
hmmm. write back when your city produces one champion in any sport outside of random murders
“btw Champ… how’d you like the black and gold being schooled yesterday?”
its a long season.
(by “its a long season” i meant “i cried myself to sleep last night”)
awww… no tears Champ. Y’all were up against a formidable defense! This is an all new Eagles defense. How many times did #7 get sacked again??? And all of those sacks sounded so CLEAR on the hi-def home theater. I didn’t even need to be at the Linc.
*I’m sorry, I am the typical a$$hole Eagles fan… married to an even bigger a$$hole Eagles fan. And he’s rubbing off on me.*
LOL! You couldn’t have cried more then me with the Patriots losing to the DOLPHINS! I mean REALLY, The DOLPHINS! Let’s Go pats!
yeeeeeah. kinda embarassing right?? they should be shamed. then again, they’re still mentally recovering from being 18-1. i can understand…
OH….. there is a difference. You love your mother, brother cuzzin and em…. but you are in love with HIM.
We love family but to be IN love means that you accept faults and make the comitment to work them out.
Still not making sense…because you love and accept family faults and all too…so are you in LOVE with them?…Although you do love them…And is the love about physical/material aspect i.e accepting flaws or liking the fact thet he puts the toilet seat down and squeezes the tube of toothpaste from the bottom?
or just a spiritual connection that cannot be defined? If it is,how is it different from filial love (love we have for our family and friends?)
it’s true you love your family and accept their faults (to a degree) but if the previous explanation provided by sweetest isn’t working think about it like this…you have a romantic attachment in the love you feel for HIM that you don’t feel for you family or friends. its the difference between that guy that’s really cool and makes a great friend and try as you may, you don’t feel anything for him beyond that platonic, that’s my boy, love. then there’s the guy that you’re physically, spiritually, mentally drawn too, IN love with, that can turn your world upside down just in the way he says your name.
Got it!! I always wondered about it and no one ever explained it well…Like I knew there was a difference,but no one explained in a way that made sense…
Cheers
and that’s my good deed for the day! lol.
Back in the day, I can say that I fell ,in l[ove]ust with a nice young tenda-roni, but [always some sh*t] it didn’t work out. And, said “roni” made it hard on the next honeys in the food chain. It pretty much increased my a$$hole factor, which was my bad. However, I have met and am mad over a nice little Rican “arroz con culo”
Holla; ya’ boy is on fire….
i’ve found that the a$$hole factor increases the potential for women to fall in love with you.
‘i’ve found that the a$$hole factor increases the potential for women to fall in love with you.”
this seems to be true. the less you care, the more likely they are to fall. someone should study this and sh*t
i think this attitude can apply to both men and women. i have started an acute study on the b!tch factor in the 4-1-2. the b!tchier i am towards men the sexier they think i am and the more they try to persue me. but unfortunately this has landed me many pseudo-stalkers. apparently i have a few variables that i need to tweak.
LMAO!! Look at your doing experiments inside the lab and outside. You have transitioned so nicely.
As to stalkers, I don’t know why they are so attracted to you. Maybe it’s that pimp juice you carry around in that flask of your that turns them into stalkers. LOL!
LOL it’s the scientist in me, what can i say?? if it is this mythical “pimpjuice” doing the transforming, i need to alter the ingredients to eliminate the stalkers, clingers, and crazies.
True, in fact, I think the study should be televised!!!
True, in fact, I think the study should be televised!!!
i actually think most things should be televised somewhere.
i think men fall just as hard and sometimes just as fast. People period like the high. The kind of high you can’t get any other way, but from really diggin somebody.
its just a different kind of fall. but a fall just the same.
That ‘high’ you speak of scares the sh!t out of me
Women only appear to fall fast, first, hard, because many are in love with the IDEA of love. But quietly, men love the idea of love too. But sometimes machismo gets in the way so that it’s not so obvious.
Thing is, when a man falls fast, first, hard is can creep a woman out. This is how a dude goes from being ‘sweet’ to ‘if I go missing, his ass done killed me cus he couldn’t have me’. Trust me. I know! This dude is creepier than any woman going crazy for love because, let’s admit it, women are almost expected to be crazy sometimes. Cus you know, all women are crazy and all men are idiots. And variation is nothing more than a phase of remission.
In the past there was a few females that sent me running in the opposite direction soon as the word “love” came out of their mouth. So just like it creepy for a male to fall hard fast, the same could be for women.
I wonder if age has anything to do with this uncomfortable situation? To me, it seems girls in there teens do this more often.
I will agree that both man on woman become crazy fcuks once they fall in love
This is definitely an age thing, or at least a “ready to settle down” thing. When men do this when we are young and inexperienced, it freaks us out because we have no desire to be settled. Meanwhile, if they do it when we are “ready to settle down,” we view it as an obvious sign that he might be okay to settle down with.
Jen: Speak for yourself. If a dude doesn’t know my middle name and that I have an irrational fear of squirrels and swimmers ear, but thinks he loves me, I’m going to the restroom and texting my location to all my friends and family just in case he decides to kill me.
Oh and about this happy hour, is that where I’m receive my more tangible reward and my check for the t-shirt slogan??
of course. that is unless of course if i don’t forget all that on my way there.
So you might as well put it in your car NOW. This way there’s no way you’ll not have it when I hem you up in a corner and shake you down.
Women fall in love easier, men fall in love harder. This is because women are looking for love while men are so damn suprised that they are falling in love it confuses us. So now we looking foolish buying her all types of foolishness and letting her dress us in matching outfits and waiting on hand and foot. So then when we do get our little hearts broken it is like “I knew that sh*t couldnt’t happen” but we still think it could of so we now bitter and angry. if you get my drift?
drift gotten.
I love the feeling of being in love with someone. I can honestly say I have been in so many variations of “love” countless times in my 25 years, lol. As I get older, I realize that I have always had a tendency to romanticize things. I like relationships, and if I allow myself to, I can get caught up in the mere possibility of being with someone i think is great (or even has the potential to be great), and lose my damn mind. The good thing is, I’ve finally learned the difference between being in love, being in lust, and just being totally smitten, as other ladies have already said.
Now having said all that, I don’t think men do this any less than women do. There are plenty of men out there that just LOVE to be in love, to be the other half of a wonderful whole. If you’re one of those people that just loves to romanticize, you will fall fast…regardless of whether you wear panties or boxers.
what about boxer briefs? not quite boxers, not quite briefs but they come in multiple colors.
real G’s wear boxer briefs and don’t fall.
Somehow I knew it would either be you or Champ to respond to my post, SIMPLY because of the boxer comment.
boxer briefs blow me. they’re like manpanties.
“boxer briefs blow me. they’re like manpanties.”
blasphemy!!!!!!
Bet you got on some orange manpanties right now.
Bet you got on some orange manpanties right now.
dead……
boxer breifs are sexy tho… in blk/whte/gry
I’m not really a fan of them, but it also depends on the body of the man in the boxer briefs. Not every man can pull off the manpanties, which is why I’d rather not see them at all.
“Bet you got on some orange manpanties right now.”
nope. they’re burnt orange, thank you
oooh la la.
i think it depends on the person, regardless of gender. i think women come off as loving easier because women are more comfortable in being verbally open and honest about their feelings, whereas men may not assert their feelings as readily. that doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there.
i’ve never “fallen” into love. the 2x i’ve been in love took awhile to develop and even realize. i do, however, tend to attract men who fall fast. in the last year i’ve been courted by men who profess their feelings early on, before things even got intimate. they were so eager and vulnerable. it was hard for me to admit to them that their feelings weren’t reciprocated. 1 guy, in particular, nearly broke down in front of me when i told him we needed to slow down. that was disturbing. i’ve never known men to be so emotional and sensitive. these experiences have actually made me more guarded in my dating since i don’t want to have any more awkward talks that end with a man’s feelings bruised.
“because women are more comfortable in being verbally open and honest about their feelings,”
i don’t actually believe this. i think women’s emotions and best friends push them over the top and they feel the need to share. i don’t actually think its a comfort thing.
maybe saying comfortable was presumptuous and only describes me and the many women i know. my comfort in sharing my feelings and whats on my mind is often times a bad thing for anyone on receiving end. anyway–i’d agree with you that women may feel the need/pushed to share, for whatever reason.
“that was disturbing.”
it cracks me up whenever someone describes something as “disturbing”. (ie “that movie was disturbing” or “her face was disturbing”)
gets me every time
thats when you execute the ‘ol “its not you, its me” routine.
note: this doesnt actually work.
but what else can you say? ‘man up nucca. it aint that deep’ ?idk.
lol. i actually did try that after he gave me the “do you even like me? i thought things were going so well” bit. and at first, it was me. i had a lot going on and i could tell he was in it more than me and i just didn’t want to string him along. but because i was so disturbed by his response, i thought to myself it’s definitely him. he might need counseling after this. so sad.
LOL! kaliber, how would you feel if someone gave you the ‘ol “its not you, its me” routine? It’s always the other person, duh! If it were me I’d be in a straight jacket. I do like the idea of telling someone to man up though. Yes Gem, he hasn’t been the same since.
can you imagine me telling him to “man up”?? ohhh lawdy it woulda been a scene. or maybe i don’t give him enough credit?? either way, i wouldn’t be able to go over to TT’s if he was gonna be there lol.
“i think women come off as loving easier because women are more comfortable in being verbally open and honest about their feelings, whereas men may not assert their feelings as readily.”
This might be why men say that they never know how I really feel about them…I am not comfortable discussing my feelings, especially those in the early stages. I have met some overly emotional men that have been offended by my lack of sharing.
I think women are placed in the “emotional” creature box too often…at least “emotional” in terms of being lovey dovey.
Precious I agree….
I admit I am not in touch with the mushy, emo side of myself, but because I am a woman I am expected to be.
I have had many a fight because the man felt like I was too closed off….
women are definitely different when it comes to feelings and emotions and how/if they express them. but i do think that in general women are emotional. my best friend doesn’t share her feelings easily either. it’s like she ignores that she has feelings. yet she is extremely emotional. this confuses the men she dates and inevitably leads to arguments then breakups.
K? Is that you? How dare you put my ish on blast…. I didn’t know you had a vsb…. totally don’t appreciate u outting me like that?!
ummmm no?? my bad??
I agree that women fall harder,faster,stronger than men…I hae found myself convincing myself to like a guy after only 2 dates just because he has good teeth,nice car and a job,simply beacuse he’s there and he seems keen on me…I’m trying to break the habit though,coz the minute I find out he’s more into something else than me,and I have to cancel the embroidered bibs I pre-ordered for our first kids,I find myself not so much heart broken,but hurt that i allowed myself to fall…and I could have prevented it.
*oh,and Panama…its emus..plural. I’m Australian,yes,black chicks live in Australia and I looove your website…I’ve been hooke for 4 months and have never had the courgae to write on here…
welcome and thanks for the down-under love.
so…is Foster’s really australian for beer?
hahaha…we actually DON’T sell that down here…
really?!?!
we’ve been bamboozled here!
hoodwinked even
Yeah…I never actually understood it…Everytime I go overseas I get the Foster’s ques,and i’ve only ever seen it outside Oz…Like the kangaroos…And incase you were wondering,the kangaroos do exist…or so I’ve heard…never actually seen one…Wait,I did…but it was at a zoo…does that count?
“he has good teeth”
The good teeth get you every time
“I have to cancel the embroidered bibs I pre-ordered for our first kids”
you too… I hate when that happens, that is why I am taking embroidery classes at the local crafts store
I know…and they ain’t cheap…But i could get you a pretty good deal with a digitzer…like a bedazzler…but for embroidery..lol…
Yeah,I’m a sucka for good teeth on men…It gets me like the ‘V’ and the shoulders…I actually decide if I’ll date a guy by observing him talk and no matter how fly he was,I won’t date him if he has one crooked tooth…In this day and age there’s no excuse for bad teef…lol…call me vain….
“It gets me like the ‘V’ and the shoulders”
Santi, my long lost sister where have you been? We been looking for you
Stranded on a really big island…lol…
and here I am stranded on a small one. LOL!
“and here I am stranded on a small one”
does the term “triple entendre” even exist?
In this day and age there’s no excuse for bad teef…lol…call me vain….
do you guys have universal health and dental? LOL there is plenty reason over here in the states…getting those teeth fixed cost a grip with no dental plan
Momma told me early, you can love someone and not like them at all. I think this is what usually happens to us women. We fall for the good of the person, their conversation and intelligence the way he behaves around us, the things he does to us etc…… however upon further inspection you realize that you do not like the whole person…..
Case N Point
I met this guy and for 4 months I was just all wrapped up in love with said partner. I loved the way he opened the door for me, loved the way he kept his car shiny, called me once a day, etc. but soo I started to notice things that made me realize he was not a likeable person….
He would hold the door open for me and if there were ladies behind me, just let the door go in their faces. RUDE! His car was spotless outside, but I’d have to push shoes, socks, sports ish out of the way to sit down …. He cared more about presentation… if we hung out at the house it was always mine, when he asked if I was hungry it was my clue that he was too and I should “go whip something together”. None of this bothered me at first…. first it was cute that he’d diss other ladies for me, thought my cooking was the bomb etc. But sooner, I realized he never cooked for me, had a deep rooted issues with women, cared more about what other thought, than what he really was… In the end I loved him — I just didn’t like him
“…loved the way he kept his car shiny”
your name isn’t lauren london, is it?
your name isn’t lauren london, is it?
hahahahahaha…. nah…. i’m not LL.
I do like clean cars tho. somewomen gotta have men with “V”s and money…. I like a clean car and shoes….
I can’t quite say that either sex falls harder or faster.
Based on my observation/experience, women fall hard and fast in love, but only when they are given permission to. We kind of keep men at the emotional arm’s length until they have assured us that it’s okay to fall for them: until we’ve heard enough heaping praise, declarations of commitment and admirable intentions from a man. We know that most men won’t appreciate us, so we need convincing to fall in love.
Unfortunately, our bodies work as such that good dick qualifies as heaping praise, declarations of commitment and admirable intentions. I don’t care what women who claim to have sex “like men” say, whenever a man and a woman engage in mutually enjoyable sexual relations, the woman’s uterus sends a signal to the brain that says “I love him. He loves me, too. Otherwise, why would he make me feel this good?” I am convinced that condoms weaken the signal as such than if a woman dares to have unprotected sex with a man, the signal reads, “He loves me and he wants to be with me forever and I want to have his babies and we are in love and if he leaves me i will diiiiiiie.”
Anyway, once we get some form of “permission,” we are done for. Sometimes, we see women act a plum fool over some man who seems to obviously not think much of her. This is typically because the man lies in private or puts on the game face early on or gives her plenty of good business. Meanwhile, the man she is attached to joins the rest of the world in wondering why the woman he so hotly pursued (or laid) for two months is suddenly clingy.
Many men, on the other hand, suffer from great hubris. They think they are God’s gift to any woman they engage and, so, do not worry about being underappreciated. When they fall in love, they fall pretty hard, too. However, it typically works out for men. Women are very good at mirroring a man’s level of like or love–even if it isn’t there–thus, leaving them too oblivious to be hurt. And, frankly, we tend not to do men as ugly as they do us. It is sort of a gender privilege for them, this ability to fall in love to little consequence.
“And, frankly, we tend not to do men as ugly as they do us. It is sort of a gender privilege for them, this ability to fall in love to little consequence.”
i couldn’t disagree with this more.
Of course you don’t. You’re a man.
Every once in a while, a woman will do some ultra trifling shit like the “get pregnant by her ex when we were together” bit described above. But, not too often. At least not compared to how many times we all hear women tell the “he cheated on me with multiple women and/or gave me a trip to the free clinic” or “he left me/did me extra dirty when i was pregnant” or “he hit me/didn’t hit me, he just pushed or threatened me a few times/hit me by accident” or “I stuck by him through undergrad/grad school/his mama’s death and he jetted on me as soon as he got through it/i needed the same”?
i think women are more likely to stay in sh*tty romantic situations then guys are, but both sexes do an equal amount of dirtiness and janky sh*t to each other. its just that men aren’t as forgiving.
i think women are more likely to stay in sh*tty romantic situations then guys are, but both sexes do an equal amount of dirtiness and janky sh*t to each other. its just that men aren’t as forgiving.
I agree with this statement. I do think though that women tend not to do f*cked up shyt once their feelings are involved where as men are more prone to doing f*cked up shyt because their feelings are involved. Case in point the more serious the relationship the less likely women are to cheat, men are more likely due to fear of commitment and peer pressure from thier single lonly a$$ friends.
“i couldn’t disagree with this more”
Champ I don’t think you are applying yourself
i called myself — but looking back on it i think it was more like ‘thanks for all the dinners and the free stuff!’
which is totally not the same thing.
dude fell quick fast and in an overwhelming hurry – and i went along with it bc it seemed dumb not to? because it was better than eating in the college cafeteria? because i thought i’d grow into it? all of these are bad reasons, btw.
i think he liked the idea of me- like someone driving by a wildlife refuge and thinking ‘gee thats a great place for a stripmall!’ he ended up pretty bitter.
meantime im on sabbatical for now after a deluge of cringe-worthy romatic comedy type dating experiences… i do wonder if he put a root on me.
“i do wonder if he put a root on me.”
i’m sure he probably did. you should probably stay away from the site until you get rid of it. i don’t need any root residue in my life.
“‘thanks for all the dinners and the free stuff!’
which is totally not the same thing.
dude fell quick fast and in an overwhelming hurry – and i went along with it bc it seemed dumb not to? because it was better than eating in the college cafeteria? because i thought i’d grow into it? all of these are bad reasons, btw.”
Maybe it’s my cheap and hungry side talking, but if I was getting wine & dineed I’d probably fall in love fast too. I like food.
“but if I was getting wine & dineed I’d probably fall in love fast too.”
LOL
my sister calls that ‘dating for doggiebags’
“like someone driving by a wildlife refuge and thinking ‘gee thats a great place for a stripmall”
What a great line…. and then wondering why the damn tiger went crazy and ate your ass… that tiger aint go crazy, that tiger went tiger (c) Chris Rock paraphrase…
LOL ‘root residue’
nah the site is safe. it only affects me in scenarios where i’d drop trou.
From reading some of the earlier comments, I think in general women fall quicker because we misinterpret and read into someone just doing things that decent human beings do, when you give extraordinary praise and credit to people doing what they are supposed to do then you will fall for anyone halfway grinning at your a$$…..
“women fall quicker because we misinterpret … will fall for anyone halfway grinning at your a$$”
some might say thats bc so many mo’fos *dont* act right? so when someone with home training is found its all Sally Field “you like me! you really like me!” with an addition of “let’s make babies!” to the end of that.
when in the end he was just doing all that grinning to the the pannies down, or ‘he’s just not that into you’ or whateva
‘itsa toss up.
I’ve only fallen hard twice in my life. Once some years ago and the other. . . quite recently. And it seems like both cases may be one-sided. It took me a long time to get over the first and the second may end up taking some time as well.
It’s interesting though, in my other relationships, those that lasted a pretty good amount of time, the process was much longer. Or perhaps that’s not interesting. Perhaps that’s just life.
“Or perhaps that’s not interesting”
it’s life. its all interesting and sh*t
Personally, I don’t fall in love a lot. I can deal with a person and love them, like them, lust after them, be smitten with them…but falling in love doesn’t come easy.
Do women fall in love quicker? My vote is yes only because I think women want to be in love more than men do. I think women “think” they are in love more than men. I’d guess it is true love about 50% of the time.
Granted, good sex can create temporarily infatuation but it doesn’t open the love gates. It opens the smitten gates, often confused with the love gates.
Another competing factor is that society is more supportive of women vocalizing their love than men. Men tend to be viewed more as punks by other men if they talk about being in love.
“It opens the smitten gates, often confused with the love gates.”
also, not to be confused with the slut gates.
Hmmm I would have to say that women fall in love faster. I’ll become infatuated and crush on a chick instantaneously just b/c of some quirky trait, then snap out of it b/c i dont like how bony her hands are (for example). Women in that same period have already planned our lives out, told their girlfriends what to wear to our wedding, and instructed them to slash my tires if they see me out in the streets with another chick. All this in a week
“Women in that same period have already planned our lives out, told their girlfriends what to wear to our wedding, and instructed them to slash my tires if they see me out in the streets with another chick. All this in a week”
ok. i’m tired of seeing these references on this topic. who ARE these chicks?!?!? are ya’ll serious or just beefing up time periods to make a point? i mean…i know there’s some crazy chicks out there. i’ve known and seen a few but good Lord! usually the real crazy only comes out after a while and putting up with months/years of bullsh*t.
Ur right. I using extreme examples. Maybe i’m just that hot of a commodity that women are trying to lock me down immediately..who knows?
I had a “sleepover” with one girl (second time we ever chilled) and the next morning, she asked me my middle name, then proceeded to NAME OUR CHILDREN. obviously, i was spooked
“I using extreme examples”
the sad part about this is that you’re really not though, lol. theres nothing extreme about that example at all
well damn…maybe i just know regular crazy chicks. lol.
By “sleepover” do u mean sleeping in the same bed with no sex?
No…i mean sex. I just wanted to dress it up a bit.
I think a lot of men fall fast but don’t show it outwardly. Not at first sight mind you because men generally have the attention span of surbaban toddlers strung out on kool-aid. But after kicking it with a chick I know a few dudes that have fallen and start copping pleas like “yeah son that one right there is wifey material” or my personal favorite “SOMEONE needs to lock that down before one of these lames corrupts her”. If you ever hear that its man-code for “I want to lock her down and move away to the sticks and raise babies with her, like now”
Also the ex thing happened to me a couple years ago. She came back to town and asked to stay with me for the weekend. Of course I saw no harm so I said yes, I told my girlfriend about it and she was cool with it. Looking back it probably wasn’t the smartest decision I’ve ever made lol.
“SOMEONE needs to lock that down before one of these lames corrupts her”. If you ever hear that its man-code for “I want to lock her down and move away to the sticks and raise babies with her, like now”
yo…we really need to have a talk with you about exposing secrets and sh*t. this is like you’re 3rd offense. please don’t make me get the wolves
You just gonna threaten me like that son? You better chill with that before I have to violate you like the Ravens gonna violate the Steelers offensive line next monday.
@The Champ,
Dorian tells all. And of course, we women are all ears. But, it’s obvious anyway because you men are not that complicated. You’re pretty easy to read if we would take the “goggles” off.
It’s easy for us women to “fall” faster because we are hard wired to do so. Period. As we get older, however, we recognize the “fall” for what it is: infatuation, smitten-ness, desperation for something new in our lives, etc. A smitten girl will do pretty much anything for her man (loan him money, let him borrow her car, get him a cell phone, give up the cookies at the family bbq, etc.) She’ll tell herself that she is “in love” and keep giving until she’s drained and he’s….well, moved on. Probably to a woman who challenges him more. Grown up ladies know that infatuation is cool and can even turn to love – but not to put themselves out there fully until there is some reciprocity and a commitment from the man. This usually takes some time because men are not known for their swift willingness to settle down.
So can love happen quickly? I think so. But most grown-ups like to take a little time to “kick the tires” before making decisions based solely on love.
“Grown up ladies know that infatuation is cool and can even turn to love – but not to put themselves out there fully until there is some reciprocity and a commitment from the man”
i agree, but my agreeance (yup. i know thats not a word) depends on how you define “grown-up”
i think both men & women become infatuated easily. but women are quicker to turn, or mistake, that infatuation for love. so two months into the relationship, you’re thinking it’s love but the man already lost interest after the third date and conveniently slid you into the, “string along for sex” category.
“the “string along for sex” category”
otherwise known as “the champ’s favorite”
From what i’ve observed
- Dudes fall in *lust* almost instantly.
- Chicas fall in “love” first…and then fall out of love first. (ie get bored, or disatisfied with the whole love concept, i.e. is this all there is?)
concur!
Now that I’m free from the plantation…
I agree with the observation that women fall faster because we are hard wired to do so. Biologically speaking we are seeking that commitment from a man, so that we can be guaranteed his resources as a provider. Conversely, men gain an advantage from sowing their oats as widely as possible, so they are not wired to fall in love as quickly. But when they do, its a DONE DEAL
Prime example is me and my husband. He admitted to me that when we first met, he was really just trying to hit it. I’m not exactly sure what I did that kept him around, but it was four months after we started dating before we did anything beyond some heavy petting, and six months till he got the panties. By then it was too late. He had fallen and he wasn’t expecting it.
Meanwhile, I already knew that I was in ‘strong like’ after about the first 2 months. But since I had been in this position before and kcuffed it up by giving it up (not just sex, but the other ‘girlfriend-like’ gestures) too soon, I reigned in the hormones (that was TOUGH).
He told me later he respected the challenge I presented to him by not being ‘easy’ to get. Men are natural hunters and want to pursue their prize. Therefore, they lose interest if the hunt is easy.
“Therefore, they lose interest if the hunt is easy.”
our interest level is in direct correlation with the prize. eff a hunt
says you… the fan of the team that LOST…
ok, I’m done.
I agree women may fall in love quicker then men when they are younger and soooo starved for attention, but after that first heart break, I feel like men and women even out. Personally I loved my first boyfriend and after that went to sh*t, I haven’t loved since. I’m not bitter, just being careful with realtionships I invest my time in and making sure it is worth it before getting all googley eyed. This love that women fall into is a bit artificial and superficial in nature during the first moments of a relationship b/c how could u really know? It’s what we’ve been trained to do since playing with dolls. It’s more the idea of being in love that women like then actually being in love. Not to sound bitter but it’s going to take more then wining and dining me to get me to love you. When it comes to love, it’s the little things. Advice to women, don’t have a relationship with someone that you couldn’t love or see yourself being with for an extended period of time because the more time your spend together, the more likely you are to end up together. Cut the nonsense relationship early and stop being so easy. You make it hard for women with actual relationship values. That was long winded and unorganized but hopefully you get it.
“That was long winded and unorganized but hopefully you get it.”
got it and sh*t. or was it not for me to get?
“Not to sound bitter but it’s going to take more then wining and dining me to get me to love you. When it comes to love, it’s the little things.”
you know i agree 100%. so many men i’ve dealt with are shocked when i’m not falling head over hills and professing my love for them after a short courting period. while i’m an emotional person and straight forward about my feelings, i’m not quick to love. most of the dudes i meet aren’t worth my heart’s commitment. in fact, i don’t even remember the last time i really LIKED some one.
There is indeed an icebox where my heart used to be.
I’m done w/love. Ya’ll can have it. I’m not loving nobody else and anybody who even ATTEMPTS to love me will get the business end of a cafeteria spork.
“I’m not loving nobody else and anybody who even ATTEMPTS to love me will get the business end of a cafeteria spork.”
Damn.
Im not gonna lie, I was there 2 months ago, not saying your feeling arent valid, please dont hit me.
It depends on the person, love-wise. Ive seen guys and girls do the whole “Ive loved you about 5 mins since I met you” and some that are so put of by the idea of love that you feel bad for anyone that even hopes for a relationship.
Im a no titles kind of chick right now, to drama, no muss, no fuss.
Been in love once (kinda still) but move due to the storm, so it dont count anymore…til we’re in the same city again. Then theres going to be some serious perm sweatin, calorie burning, “didnt know my leg could do that” kind of $h!t going down.
By their very nature…women do fall in love faster & harder and it takes them much more time to fall out of it. It’s in their DNA…no way to escape it.
Pardon the interruption, but per The Rules, I must post the following comment:
A Certified Honest Blogger Award has been bestowed upon The Champ. To claim your award, go to the website indicated above.
(Oh, and write the damn book already!)