Lists, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

10 Questions You’ve Always Wanted To Ask a White Person

Are those hair plugs?

In the last month or so, I’ve learned through web analytics and private conversations that VSB has a much bigger non-black fanbase than I would have guessed. While I’ve always known we (blacks) don’t have a complete monopoly on VSB readership, the sheer amount of readers who don’t fit any of the assumed VSB reader demographics has, quite honestly, surprised me.

It shouldn’t have, though. Between our growth in traffic, our branching out to  “non-urban” parts of the internet, and the fact that much of our content is race-neutral, it’s really not much of a shock that white people like us too. We’re not quite Snoop Dogg (#1 on the list of “traditionallyblack’ people, places, and things white people like much more than black people do“) but we’re not Marion Berry either.

Anyway, while most African-Americans interact with white people on a daily basis, there are things about “white culture” we’re still generally clueless about, and this is less ignorance than the fact that (understandably) we’re just not privy to many of the private conversations and thoughts white people have when we’re not around. With this and our newly discovered audience in mind, I’ve decided to reach out to our non-black brethren and give them a bit of an opportunity to quell some of our genuine curiosities. Since we’re all fam and sh*t, they shouldn’t mind filling out a few questionnaires.

1. Do you think and talk about us as much as we think and talk about you?

The fact that there are places in this country (sh*t, in my county) were whites can go weeks, even years without seeing a black person in person has always made me curious if we come up as much in their private conversations as they do in ours, and if we receive the “Mad Men” treatment (we exist, but, well, that’s about it)

For the record, I’m not implying we’re a bit too obsessed with what white people say and do, but we’re a bit too obsessed with what white people say and do.

2. Is there a person whose art induces as much of a stark difference in opinion from “educated” whites as Tyler Perry does from “educated” blacks?

My guess is that this answer will be either Dane Cook, Sarah Silverman, Stephenie Meyer, or Judas Iscariot.

3. “Why are (an admittedly small but still sizable percentage of) you all so obsessed with being able to say “nigger”?

Forget about whether it’s hypocritical that many of us regularly incorporate nigga in our daily lexicon but refuse to allow other races to use it, there are a little over 500,000 words in the English language (750,000 if you include Pittsburghese); what’s the big f*cking deal with just not ever saying one of them? I really don’t understand what the big deal is.

Again, I know this question only applies to a small percentage of whites, but it just reminds me of a 8 year old who’s upset that has to go to bed an hour earlier than his 12 year old brother, even though he doesn’t actually have a reason or purpose for being up that extra hour.

4. What’s the deal with young white women and cigarettes?

I know this is completely anecdotal, but out of the dozens of 21 to 35 year old black women I know, exactly two of them are regular cigarette smokers. On the flip side, of the twenty or so 21 to 35 year old white women I know, I can only name two definite non-smokers.

I’m sure there’s some sociological reason for this, but for now I’m content to assume it’s all Bea Arthur’s fault.

5. We know how black men feel about being stereotyped as violent and hyper-sexual and how black women feel about being thought of as perpetually aggressive and antagonistic, but how do white men feel about being stereotyped by many as the root, cause, catalyst, and impetus behind all the world’s evils?

That just seems like such a bummer. Seriously though, I know some white men must want occasionally want to pull a Michael Clarke Duncan in Talladega Nights and just start screaming “Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don’t you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!”

6. Generally speaking, are you as concerned with definitions of “whiteness” and staying true to it as many of us are with blackness?

I think I know the answer to this already (“Huh? What? Heavens no.“), but I still needed to ask.

7. Aside from what’s usually cited (black music, soul food, the exuberance exhibited at many of our churches, Tracy Morgan, etc) is there anything about African-American culture you genuinely envy?

One of my college teammates once told me he really admired how close-knit many extended black families were. More specifically, he was really envious of how 2nd and 3rd cousins are just as close to many of us as siblings traditionally are. This teammate is now a (part-time) male stripper. I wonder if there’s any correlation.

8. Do you code-switch?

If you have no idea what code-switching is, nevermind, and forget I even asked this question.

9. Why don’t most of you all seem to be as scared to death of harmless germs as we are?

To their credit, although we tend to joke about how (many) whites seem to not care about exposing themselves to the elements, the worst that can come from these lax tendencies are an occasional cold, bout with mono, or particularly nasty case of amoebic dysentery. On the flipside, we (black people) would sooner die than allow someone to share our beer, but we’re strangely still unafraid of AIDS.

Go figure.

10. Kate Moss? No, seriously: Kate Moss?

Somewhere out there in cyberspace, there’s a white blogger writing a piece titled “Questions You’ve Always Wanted To Ask a Black Person”, and “10. Buffie The Body? No, seriously: Buffie The Body?” is at the end of his list.

That’s it for me, VSB, but I’m curious: Do you have any questions you’ve always wanted to ask a white (or any other non-black) person?

Remember, the purpose of this post is to create discussion, and people are more likely to actually answer insightful and genuinely curious questions than condescending and disparaging ones.

For instance:

Bad Question: “What’s up with ya’ll letting your bad and nasty ass kids run around through WalMart without their leashes?”

Better Question: “It seems like white parents are generally more laid back than we are with the way you discipline your children. Is this a stereotype? If not, do you have any theories about why this is?”

Also, whites and other non-blacks reading this, you’re part of the crew now too. Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to ask a black person but was scared to ask?

Don’t be scurred. We’re all family here.

***Please be advised that while I’ve asked you to think of a few questions, this will not turn into a “Let’s say all the foul sh*t we can about white people” insult-fest. Any undoubtedly and stupidly racist comment or question will show me you obviously didn’t read the post (or just ignored this warning) and your comment will be deleted. Thanks in advance.***

—The Champ

Confortable et elegant catalogue mode suisse en ligne | Madbid

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • hehe


    • hehe

      I have a question how can you be so oblivious to your own privet in society?

    • Shesaurus

      At what age will ppl stop replying “First”? Clearly you are first.

      • Cheekie

        Excuse me while I choke on this laughter right quick…

    • verysmartcracka

      5 questions you have always wanted to ask a “BROTHA”
      1) What is it with fried chicken?
      do not get me wrong it is rather good but lets be honest there are many other foods you can enjoy individually instead of liking one food as a race, you do not all have to like the same thing. always be yourself… unless you suck – joss whedon. come on guys you do not want to suck do you?
      2) What is the deal with the fat white women?
      do not get me wrong someone has to sleep with them and it sure as hell is not going to be me so thank you. i just do not understand why anyone would want to. is it because they pay for everything? drive you around? do not bitch cause you are worthless and do not have a job? the world may never know, but thank you o so very much you are doing us white folks a favor.
      3) what is the deal with the worth cracker?
      this one really makes me laugh, you colored folks call us this thinking that it is an insult. in reality it makes you look ignorant. cracker: noun. slang word used to refer to those of european ancestry. The word is thought to have either derived from the sound of a whip being cracked by slave owners, or because crackers are generally white in color.
      4) menthol cigarets?
      what is the deal with menthols (newports)?
      its almost as if you would get looked down upon by your fellow brothas if you were to smoke anything but them. goes back to the fried chicken, hey man be yourself.
      5) why do you refer to yourself as african-americans?
      im pretty sure that about 90% of the black people in the united states have never even been to africa. it would be like other races going around saying they are african-american, asian-american, or european-american. you just do not do that we are all american if you were born and raised here. my ancestors are from europe, yet when i fill out paper work that ask what my race is i am forced to fill in other. i am not caucasian for it is a color and european-american is nowhere to be found on any form that i have filled out.

      • purple martian

        Hilarious! The ignorance just continues to ebb and flow. The ebb, this article. The flow, ‘verysmartcracka’ thinking he is putting ‘black people’ in there place and ‘hitting them where it hurts’ sir are a laughable idiot. The ethnic liberties that N. American’s assume when it comes to labeling black,white,orange,green, etc. people indeed is a forefront example of the general arrogance and cluelessness of your population. Take a seat for this one, the overwhelming majority of ‘BROTHAS’ and ‘crackers’…live out side of your little country, who both posses qualities nothing like your folk. For the sake of your intellectual credibility, next time use N. American XYZ instead of XYZ race. However, it really isn’t your fault, most of you guys don’t own a passport or could accurately label a world map, tragic. Let me stop taking up your time with my rant, I believe your ‘jersey shore’ is about to start, hustle along now.

        • KTHX

          Gotta love that smug attitude that non-americans have towards Americans. “You guys don’t own a passport”. Why would we need a passport exactly? This isn’t Europe, we’re not surrounded by other countries that require a passport to visit. We can’t hop on a train and ride through a handful of different countries, it requires a long ass flight which costs a lot of money in most cases. There’s basically Canada and Mexico, neither of which anyone really cares to visit unless they’re looking for cheap pharmaceuticals. There are 50 states, we call them states, but (given the square mileage that they span) they’re basically like countries are in Europe. We don’t need a passport to travel between them. And we can’t accurately label a world map? Well sir, I can accurately label one. World Geography is a required course in High School after all. Indeed most Americans are idiots, but it’s that attitude of “I’m not an American and I think all Americans are fat retards who watch Jersey Shore” that really makes you look like an arrogant, idiotic jackass. That is all.

  • Rog

    Ravens won 10-6!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry just had to get that out there

    What is your “Soul Food”- I need an answer to this

    Do you ever get cold?

    Is being bald a no-no- Bald Brothas (at any age) is so much more common

    • Rog

      My bad 10-9

    • Vacra-The Queen of Spades

      I know a lot of white people who eat something called a “frito pie.” I was forced to force down this heinous excuse for a meal at a classmates house while trying not to let her mom see my facial expressions.

      • miss t-lee

        Frito pie goes hard. :-D I grew up eating it at home, and in the school cafeteria. IDK, never looked at it as a 2520 thang. Hmmm. Black, Brown, White, we all got down. #TexasUpbringinggameproper

        • Vacra-The Queen of Spades

          @miss t-lee
          I’m from the bay area and all the 2520’s around me were pretty upper crust which means they couldn’t really cook well lol. I’m sure if Paula Deen made the pie it would be ok.
          The parents would have a fit if they fed us frito pie at my school lol.

          • miss t-lee

            I gotcha. I am wondering what magic Paula Deen would do with a frito pie recipe though. Color me intrigued! :-D

            • The Champ

              I gotcha. I am wondering what magic Paula Deen would do with a frito pie recipe though. Color me intrigued! :-D

              me too, damn. Btw, I’m sure at least 7 people have had sexual fantasies about paula deen and frito pie before

              • miss t-lee

                LMAO!!!!! Silliness.

              • Dennis

                hell yeah! she’s the ultimate cougar!

          • JessicaL

            I just googled what frito pie is, and it sounds delicious!

        • ComicBookGuy

          You damn straight, t-lee. It really must be a Texas thing because I definitely grew up on Frito pies. Hell, Fritos were invented in Texas. Fritos, a can of Wolf Brand Chili, and some shredded cheese and I am happy as a pig in mud. I may have to make a run to Kroger and make some at the house.

          • miss t-lee

            “It really must be a Texas thing because I definitely grew up on Frito pies”

            You already know. I think I’ma get one today when I get out of class from the taqueria down the street from the house…LMAO

            • tsays

              Im co-signing on it being a Texas thing I enjoy them at football games! I’ve got to make one today too lol

              • miss t-lee

                Yes!!! Always had to have one at the football game. Snack bar staple! :)

              • ComicBookGuyq

                You are so right. Go to any Texas high school football game and you will find nachos and frito pies.

          • Frito-Lay

            On behalf of Frito-Lay I approve this thread. Also, look for Fried FRITOS Pie at this year’s Texas State Fair!

            • Keisha Brown

              dead @ Frito Lay username.

            • coy

              is it me or are the only two things black people think about are money and unprotected sex?

          • nilla wafer

            Are there seriously Fritos in this pie? Fritos in a pie…Who would do such a thing?!

            • ComicBookGuy

              Lol. It’s like this: You take a small bag of Fritos and pour them in a bowl, dump chili, preferably Wolf Brand Chili, on the Fritos and then sprinkle shredded cheese on top. That is a Frito pie. After than, you can decorate it anyway you want: salsa, jalapenos, but i stick with basics. You will surprised how full get from eating it.

              • be nice to me, I may be your lawyer one day

                I’m from Texas. I love Frito Pie. #don’t judge me!

                Damn! I just did 5 miles at the gym…I would HATE to throw it away ***thoughts of chilli, sour cream, and cheese dancing in my head***

          • David

            Not just a black thing!

        • KitKatCuty84

          It’s a TEXAS thing?! Now I get why NOBODY up here knows what the heck I’m talking about. I feel like people are genuinely deprived if they haven’t had a Frito pie in their life. And honestly, I haven’t had one since I was like 15 and started watching my weight, but the memories will last a lifetime. :)

          Oh, and pork rinds. Mmmmm. I’ll always be a fat girl inside. And to some dudes, I’m still a fat girl on the OUTSIDE, LOL. Hook ‘em horns. :)

          • thatchic

            dang I didn’t realize it was that many TX folks on here. Dallas represent! and thank you for the dinner idea….didnt’ really feel like cooking tonight!

            • ComicBookGuy

              Oak Cliff representin’. Already!

              • Divine

                Oak Cliff, that’s my hood!!!! Aww, we’s neighbors CBG & thatchic!

          • MsVivienne

            Louisiana too! I have had a Frito Pie…they were available at all home games. That and a sno-ball. When I moved to Georgia and realized that no one knew what a sno-ball OR a po-boy was, I almost moved back home.

        • Sula

          Shoot, I’m just an adopted Texan (black) and I have had Frito Pie… :)

          • ComicBookGuy

            Sula! Was waiting for your two cents on the Texas/Frito pie discussion.

      • keisha brown

        pls explain the frito pie.
        mgmt. lol

        • FiveFivewithbrowneyes

          Frito chips , chili, and cheese.(layered )And toppings if you re fancy.

          • Rog

            Ok I may have to “investigate” this Frito Pie thing O_o

          • miss t-lee

            Thanks for explaining 5’5. I’m really starting to understand that few folks outside of TX know what this is…LOL

          • legitimate_soul

            That’s what it is? That’s good! I mean we didn’t layer it all up, but black folks been eatin’ chili fritos since like FOREVER! :) Sounds fine to me.

        • Peyso

          I’m from Brooklyn and my brother and his friends eat them with Doritos

        • acn

          i was clueless until i googled it and lo and behold, its is what i like to call a taco salad, granted there are no tacos and i’m no big fan of fritos so i substitute with doritos. when i was younger we called it haystacks, i’m from chicago btw

      • Penelope

        :: confirms the prevalence of Frito pies in the black community ::
        our candy lady sold them. Which I guess could raise that question for the more melanin-challenged among us– do you have candy ladies?

        • ComicBookGuy

          That is a good question. I have always wondered that myself.

        • JessicaL

          Yes candy ladies and flip ladies! Tell me you guys had flip ladies.

          • Penelope

            what is the nature of this flip lady’s services?

            • JessicaL

              She sells flips. It could just be a southern thing but it’s a frozen cup of juice. The best ones were made with kool-aid.

              • JessicaL

                I forgot to mention the fact that they’re called flips because you can flip them upside down in the cup and enjoy them.

              • CCDreamz

                We call flips frozen cups. lol I’m from Maryland btw.

              • KTHX

                We always called them cool cups.

      • Priscilla

        FRITO PIE!?! That is TEXAS eatin’…a rite of passage! Had it every week in the school cafeteria! You honestly shoulda felt HONORED that they chose to share this sacred meal with you! It meant they LOVED you…

        • Neenay

          They have Frito pie in the midwest and cali too. We had them in Indiana and the ice cream man has them here in cali.

      • Que

        That’s not a white thing…I think that’s a Texas thing

    • alana

      YES!!!!!!! Do they EVER get cold?!?

      • Matt Pierson

        It takes a lot for me to get cold. Again, I come from where it is insanely cold where we never got school canceled for snow but only got it called off for the days when it was too cold to snow and all the kids lungs would freeze if you had to wait outside for the bus. I guess considering my ancestry is straight up viking maybe I have some sort of immunity built in to my genetic code that I was not previously aware of. Interesting observation though.

    • Cheekie

      “Do you ever get cold?”

      Specifically, I wanna ask, why do ya’ll only get cold on the upper body. I went to a PWI and I saw beaucoup sweatshirts and shorts. Fascinating!

      • CPT Callamity

        Going along with what Cheekie said:
        1. What authority came up with the sweatshirt, shorts and flipflop rule? When it is just a tick above freezing, it’s like spring time to them folks.

        2. When you all get older, what’s up with shorts and boat shoes with no socks?

        3. Speaking of which: Are brown leather flipflops standard footgear for men?

        4. Why is it not safe to fall asleep around any of you all? I’ve had to learn to never get drunk and even for a second pass out around you, lest we wake up on a futon mattress floating in the pool or with a Sharpie masterpiece on my face. Don’t act like this doesn’t happen.

        5. How the hell do you all get away with saying stuff like “F*ck you Mom!”…and not get the taste slapped out of your mouths?

        • Kirk Lazarus

          2. When you all get older, what’s up with shorts and boat shoes with no socks?

          well this is not really a white thing. your not supposed to wear socks with boat shoes.

        • V Renee

          “2. When you all get older, what’s up with shorts and boat shoes with no socks?”

          I actually like this look.

        • nilla wafer

          1. Sweatshirts with shorts works because we think it may get warm, if it does, we’ll be normal and have a t shirt on under the sweatshirt to wear. Shorts under our jeans will not work. However many clothing companies have come up with pants that roll up into capri’s. We like those!
          2. This is a stupid look. I think that only wealthy people do this.
          3. Flip flops are the only decent sandal for any guy feet. If they don’t wear flip flops, they can run the mistake of wearing socks with sandals, so if it were up to me, yes this would be a standard.
          4. Because we are all ass clowns that like to torment each other when we’re drunk
          5. I would never say this tom my mom, and would and have slapped friends who have. It depends on how you were raised.

        • Peyso

          I have a very close, very rich white friend from high school. (His dad was one of the VPs of Amex). He tried that ole eff you mom tip. He got his arse whipped by his mom and then by his nanny. I seent it w/ my own eyes

          • SmartFoxGirl

            Hi Peyso! How’s everything??

        • Chocolynne

          Did anyone ever answer this question? It’s because when you’re sailing, water gets into the boat and soaks your socks. Boat shoes are designed to grip the deck and remain non-slippery, even in the worst of weather. But if you have on socks with these shoes, you’re just going to be cold and wet. (Btw, I’m Black. I just like sailing.)

        • drewbakka

          To CPT Callamity:

          5 – We are generally indifferent towards our moms. We don’t have that fierce protectiveness of our mothers and are ok with an occasional phone call with our mothers after we grow up. If someone says my mama’s a bitch, I just laugh and say, “Yeah she usually is!”. It’s nice that people can’t get us upset with a line like that though. Black people usually have a stronger relationship with their mothers, and the only reason I can think of is the higher number of children raised by single mothers?

      • Shmee

        Haha… guys.. we get cold like “normal people”. Yes, our WHOLE bodies get cold, I promise. Some people have a higher tolerance for the cold than others. Personally, I can’t stand anything below 75 degrees. But in high school, was I the retard with a tank top under my sweatshirt and shorts/flip flops on? Hell yeah. I did a lot of stupid things in high school. God knows we all did. Btw… after reading about 30 comments on this mysterious frito pie.. I think I’ll have to make one.

      • plop

        Wow there are others like that? Most other white people that I know get cold everything and they always ask me ” Ain’t yer legs cold, girl?” Only my upper body and my feet get cold. I’ve heard that as long as the feet are covered, the body will stay warm. I’ve walked out barefooted on my frosted up lawn though and my legs still never got cold. Weird

    • SmartFoxGirl

      tuna casserole, logs, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, etc

      like cheekie said, only their chest gets cold…they always have to expose their legs…it’s usually the nicest part of their body anyway.

      am I racist? smh *goes to corner*

    • luvtheshoes

      We do get cold but I think it has got to be at least 40 degrees or colder before you’ll see the majority of white people grabbing a coat. I’m guessing it’s denial that winter is coming or something. And I gotta admit that I’m guilty of wearing a sweatshirt and shorts. (Sometimes you got a new hoodie that you want to show off but its still too warm to wear with jeans.)

      • Mo (VSS)

        I’m from Ohio originally and let me tell you that I had a white roommate for 3 years and for half of that time I was amazed at how she could leave the house in 20 degree weather with only the chest bubble thingy. (Yes, this was the longest run-on sentence ever, but work with me.)

        Anyway, the key to their look is layering. Seriously. She showed me that she put on a bra, tank, long sleeved shirt, short sleeved shirt over top and then a sweater…the last article of clothing she put on was the bubble chest cover vest thingy. Ever since then, the mystery of why they aren’t cold isn’t such a mystery anymore.

        • MsVivienne

          If it makes you feel any better, it’s actually not a run-on, just long. You didn’t connect any independent clauses without appropriate punctuation and/or conjunctions. #englishteacher

          In my Miranda Priestly voice, “That’s all”

    • Matt Pierson

      I think it is pretty regional. I grew up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (The only black people there work at the Olympic boxing training center) and everyone dug into these horrible Cornish carry overs called Pastys. Then I went to school in Seattle and everyone devoured teriyaki like it was going out of style. So it really depends on what region of the country you are in.

    • niftylobster

      Spaghetti and Redsauce! Or various other stereotypical italian foods. That’s my family’s soul food.

      I live in Wisconsin and winter is freezing, so the second that there is a wiff of spring in the air – it is time for T-shirt and shorts. Even if it is only 50 degrees, gotta be optimistic (also, can’t let anyone know how miserable you are).

      Bald is a socially unacceptable for white men. If you’re young- people think you’re a skinhead. If you’re old – then you look like James Carville.

    • plop

      1. Chicken Souvlaki
      2. of course
      3. Not for me, but I see what you mean.

  • miss t-lee

    Seriously ya’ll–why no washcloths?

    • legitimate_soul

      Girl! We are here —><—! LOL! My number 2 is right under your post!

    • charli skipper

      i was going to ask that! but i was scared because i wasn’t sure if it was “undoubtedly and unabashedly racist.” *sideeye to the champ*

      • The Champ

        i was going to ask that! but i was scared because i wasn’t sure if it was “undoubtedly and unabashedly racist.” *sideeye to the champ*

        sideeye deez

    • TokenChinaman

      though I often do use a washcloth, the thought of sticking something in my crotch and wiping it all over the rest of my body does sometimes keep me up at night.

      • tnt_ftw

        @chinaman NOOOO!!! you start from the top and work your way down, i.e you start washing your face and then end at your feet! and you only use one washcloth a day!!!

        i have 30 washcloths. and i only use one per day…

        • AnonyMiss

          haha well what i do is get a washcloth that has two different designs on each side. one side is designated for perineal care and the other side is for the rest of my body

        • miss t-lee

          “i have 30 washcloths. and i only use one per day…”

          I use two per day. One for my face, one for the body.
          Yeah, with the body washcloths peeps, you work from your neck on down…LOL

      • charli skipper

        it’s crotch last, well…..2nd to last….. then use a different rag the next day.

      • grayse

        I use a Loofa (thats what they are called right?) for the rest of my body… and a washcloth for my face LOL…

        • Sade


      • Sula

        Absolutely love the handler/moniker. Brilliant! :)

      • A

        I get the White people with the wash cloth thing. I personally use a loofah, and when I wash my face, I use that St; Ives peach scrub so no need for a wash cloth for that. As a White person I don’t use a wash cloth, and I guess the reason why would be related to my question for Blacks about the wash cloth.

        Some who have answered say they use a new wash cloth every day, but how come at the majority of my Black friends houses whom I’ve showered at…I have encountered the most musty smelling wash cloths ever! My friend told me the cloth was in the shower and I made the mistake of using it and instead of smelling CLEAN like soap I smelled like the washcloth must! Thats when I REwashed myself and used just the soap….

        so thats why I don’t use a washcloth cause they get extremely musty. I prefer my loofah, and bodywash in a bottle that has scrubby agents already in it.

    • luvtheshoes

      Honestly, it is much more common to see white people not use washcloths. I think certain people just think that soap in and of itself gets all the dirt and germs off their skin but don’t realize that you need something with some texture to scrub that stuff off. I have no idea where this originated from but it has just become passed down from parent to child and nobody ever bothered to tell them different so help a YT out and let ‘em know!

      • Mo (VSS)

        THIS ^^^^^ reminds me when I was about 8 and spent the night at a White friends house. In the morning, I was like “I need to take a shower.” They handed me a towel, but no washcloth. I was like “How am I supposed to wash up in the shower.” They laughed and were like “don’t you use the soap?” I was SOOOOO confused. I was like “yeah, but don’t y’all use a washcloth with the soap.”

        At this point mass confusion ensued and I just forgot about the shower, called my mom and took a shower at my house. LOL, I would have had to do it again away cuz that whole “tv-shower-washing-with-just-the-soap-and-my-hands” is a no bueno.

        • Neenay

          What’s funny about the whole white people not using wash cloths thing is that some Africans don’t use them either… My friend did a summer in South Africa and her packing list specifically said to bring wash cloths since most places not used to tourists wouldn’t have them.

          • mateosmuse

            I’m a black South African, and I know no other black South African who doesn’t use a washcloth. 1 for the body and 1 for your face. White people over here also don’t use wash cloths.

            • YAYER


              sanibonani sisi? sorry if i misspelt that, i’m from Zimbabwe…

              • Sula

                Hmmmm….. why do I feel like I might know you??? :)

            • Shmee

              Europeans use washcloths. Loofahs are popular in America… so is liquid soap.

      • CocktailJay

        But we wash our hands with just soap. Same concept no? I’m sure if it works for our filthy hands it should be good for their bodies.

        • Mo (VSS)

          True, but you can’t adequately get into all cracks and crevices with just soap and your hands (if you know what I mean).

        • Papparazzi jess

          i agreeeee!! I am african american and used a wash cloth my whole life until i became a nanny. My employer was white and he had no wash clothes….so ive never used another since then…..i really found it to be odd that he didnt have any. and i didnt know it was a “white person thing” but i find myself to be just fine without the cloth….i only use them for my face when i dont have a scrub…..

    • Matt Pierson

      Do you know how much I hate doing laundry? What is the point? I think this goes to the question in the original post as well about germs. Obviously we are still around so we haven’t contracted any sort of horrid disease. Also, I have traveled throughout Asia, Africa and South America and have never noticed people using washcloths in any of those places. So I guess the question would be back at you… Why are black people so worried about germs and what not when everyone else that isn’t so concerned with them are obviously walking around doing just fine?

      • Tonya

        Obviously the answer to this and all the questions is: Depends on how you were raised.

        My guess/unscientific theory to this specific germ question is that our tolerance for sickness/germs depended on what our parents could afford to deal with. Maybe our parents didn’t want us to get sick because they could not afford to 1. take us to the doctor, 2. get the day off to take care of us, 3. being exposed to our sickness.

        So therefore they would do everything in their power to make sure we as kids didn’t get sick by telling us not to leave the door wide open, put clothes and shoes on when it’s cold, wash our hands every 5 minutes, eat all your vegetables first (don’t leave the table til you do)..etc..etc. get sick when your immune system is compromised. This depends on your body’s actually habits. If your body is used to being exposed to cold- it will adjust act accordingly. However, if for any reason you deviate from your normal routine (don’t sleep or eat regularly, go to a different time zone, go from cold to hot to drastically, or abnormally stressed) , then your immune system is compromised and becomes weak. This is when germs take advantage and have a party. And as we all know, your ‘symptoms’ are just the body’s response to the germs having a party. That’s why doctors most of the time just say in response to a cold: rest, eat, drink..and let the cold run it’s course. Can’t handle the symptoms..take medicine.

        2520s, for the most part are used to exposing their bodies to the elements, their immune system adjusts and can defend their bodies..

        Blacks, for the most part, cover ourselves as much as possible, so our immune systems aren’t as used to being exposed..and when we are..well germs have a party.


        • nilla wafer

          We always had and used wash cloths. Now I use a loofa, but I still have wash cloths at my house in case I have company. Be it white or black, or anyone else for that matter.

        • Keisha Brown

          YES DR TONYA!!!

      • acn

        all black people i’ve observed in the diaspora may not use washcloths exclusively but they use these netted mesh material or something (similar to loofah). they don’t just use their hands. and with the washcloth thing, personally it is less about germs and more about helping the body shed those dead skin cells.

        • Sula

          these netted mesh material or something (similar to loofah)

          I was about to say that. We (African born and raised*) use this netting material… It’s practical because it can be reused with minimal washing (unlike washcloths)… prior to plastic, they used to bunch up certain tree roots (kinda like loofah) and use it with black soap…

          *The African here is a very broad generalization… more specifically people from Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire where I hail from.

          • YAYER

            *this African waves at Sula*


            • acn

              i’m nigerian,but i didn’t want to generalize africans, so i used diaspora. i’ve met africans from all over and they’ve all used something

    • icey

      … I didn’t know people didn’t use washcloths. I’m white. I use one, don’t change it up every day, and my husband is white and uses one… Isn’t that why they make washcloths? To use? I never heard of this one!

      • Andrea

        I am white and never heard of this either. So is my husband. We have more washcloths than we know what to do with between us and washcloths for our daughters. We do not use the same washcloth everyday and our daughters have their own and we never use theirs. We also use the mesh puffs as well. I think it’s how you are raised. Funny though, this actually makes me wanna randomly ask friends:) Love the convo on here! Frito pies may have started in Texas but I am from NC and have lived in GA for about 16 years now and we tear up some Frito Pies!!!! Having them tomorrow night!

    • plop

      Honestly the wash cloth thing is news to me. I have heard many a conversation among white wives about how their husbands and other males in their family’s idea of clean is dragging a bar of soap over themselves though so I I would have assumed it was a guy thing not a white thing.

      Personally using a wash cloth to me isn’t only about having something to scrub the dirt off with, but I know someone who switched back to wash clothes after a breast cancer scare. If she had kept using her loofah she would have never found the lumps. You can’t feel that with a block sliding over yourself either.

      • Baklava

        I’m white and I grew up using wash clothes, but when I got older I became religious about wearing sunscreen in the summer, which doesn’t wash off very well with just bar soap, even with a cloth. Liquid soap cuts the grease better and I realized when I started doing this that whether I used a mesh scrubby or just my hands, my skin seemed to be getting a lot softer just from not scouring it with a wash cloth. It seems like when you scrub with texture, your skin thinks it needs to form a little bit of a callous and you can get bumps and things. Also, fingers can get into all the little nooks and crannies better than you think. I think they’re more nimble than a wash cloth, personally.

  • legitimate_soul

    1, Why are you barefoot at the filthiest of places? Like if you could take a walking tour of the crack house in New Jack City, with it’s used needles and everything, you’d be barefoot. Why?

    2. Why don’t you use washclothes? How come it’s a family if 5 and everybody don’t have their own rag, poof, loofah or what have you?

    3. Why don’t you have any curtains or blinds? Why do you have your curtains and blinds wide open when you are home and not home where anyone can case the joint, know your routine and rob or attack you?

    • legitimate_soul

      4. Why you can yell reverse descrimination but be totally oblivious to ingrained, institutional, white priveledge?

      • legitimate_soul


      • legitimate_soul

        ^ Not all white people on Number 4…but a few people who happen to be white I would like to ask that to.

      • Mackenzie

        I’m pretty sure being oblivious to systemic white privilege is a necessary precursor to claiming reverse discrimination. Anyone who yells about reverse discrimination needs to unpack their invisible knapsack.

        • Stinkjones

          I would consider myself someone who is generally not racist, or if I had to choose favorite races (I am white) it would be black people and jews. Anyway I base my worldview on the fact that, quite clearly, white people raped everyone else in the world for everything they could get their hands on for several hundred years thanks to certain technological developments and other mitigating factors. Yes, white people basically represent the source of most suffering on the earth (at least that which results from an improper distribution of resources). And I realize some of the more local (to America) historical intricacies which make up “ingrained, institutional white privilege” which clearly works to keep African Americans down. On the other hand, I don’t think any of that justifies reverse discrimination – an idea that cannot be denied. A black kid gets into a school over a white kid with similar scores to meet a “diversity quota” – That is fucking racist. Regardless of if it is in the traditional direction or the reverse, there is no question that this is selection based on skin color, which is despicable.

          Now my response to a question:

          3. “Why are (an admittedly small but still sizable percentage of) you all so obsessed with being able to say “nigger”?

          Look, I don’t want to be “allowed” by some mystical “Organization of Blacks” to be able to say a racial slur – I want to be able to use the language which I hear everyday as part of my lexicon without worrying about offending someones sensibilities. So I can say shit, fuck, cunt, whatever all the time (I try to avoid it in front of children, but really only their parents care hahaha). But I can’t sing along with a song I hear without shutting up when the artist says nigga, in a completely non-offensive context, because it is related to nigger. I happen to enjoy hip hop a lot, but I am literally afraid to listen to it in front of black people because of the response I might get if I let a nigga slip – not that it would necessarily be violent or something but certainly very awkward. I could call white people crackers all day, honkies, whatever. No one cares. There just isn’t anything nearly as offensive to compare it to, so it is difficult for me to understand why it is such an issue. I want to be able to say any word, in most contexts, without reproach, hence my desire to be able to use this word which I hear constantly from the media and african americans who I know.

          Not a Racist no matter what you think

      • plop

        As for “white privilege” perhaps its a case of not knowing what you have until its gone. To be honest, I never understood what people meant by “white privilege and that’s probably the reason. Now that I know, I think some of my perceptions have been changed. Just a little.
        As for racism, I don’t care what your privileges in life are, it doesn’t make racism any less hurtful or less racist. Racism is racism regardless of what side of the fence its slung from.

    • 90sgagirl

      cosign @ #2: #DaveChapelle did TRADING RACES, parody of Tlc’s Tradins Spaces, and he’s at the white family’s house and yells somethin’ like, “Where y’all washcloths at?, can a ninja wash his arse, I see pubic hair on the soap.”…that ish was funny as hell, I need Dave to comeback with just 1 random episode

      • legitimate_soul

        I totally remember that and had it in my head when I typed it out. LOL!

    • charli skipper

      all these questions are excellent. *high five*

      • legitimate_soul

        @Charli, Thanks! ^5 back at ya! :)

    • legitimate_soul

      I just read over my #1 and it does read really foul. My apologies. Yet, it probably ties in with Champ’s #9. I have seen the barefeet in some really dirty places, sitting on bare toilet seats, no shower shoes at the dormitory shower, or not washing hands at a pulic restroom. Although by delivery wasn’t the best, I wonder. Is it because of Champ’s #9 or those research shows when after they do research the actual faucet of the sink has more germs than the toilet seat? (Not like that’s gonna make me or anyone I know sit on a public toilet seat, just saying)

      • 90sgagirl

        thinking of tabloid pic of Britney Spears leaving gas station bathroom barefoot? AHHHHH Nightmare gross
        -But I love JOSS STONE and she performs Barefoot, she’s BAD, I will pay to see Joss Stone, Christina Aguilera, and Adele, before seeing Rihanna, Nicki and other VMA/Music industry gimmicks

        • legitimate_soul


          “thinking of tabloid pic of Britney Spears leaving gas station bathroom barefoot?”

          ^BINGO! That’s what I’m talking about! My freshman year of college I lived in a triple dorm room with a white roommate and a Japanese roommate. We got along well and they were great people. However, my Japanese roommate and I had to convince my white roommate to wear shower shoes in the bathroom.

          • nilla wafer

            So I think the barefoot thing is because we don’t typically think about germs entering our body via our feet. At least I don’t. Especially when I walk barefoot through a place where bare feet would be uncommon. HOWEVER. The shower shoes in a shared/public shower is a must. Perpetually damp cool places are a foot fungus’ heaven.
            I think the fancy neighborhood’s don’t use blinds because of 2 reason’s A they have a security system, and B. they are bored voyeurs.

            • legitimate_soul

              Thanks for the response! :)

              • http://ee A

                ew that is one thing about white people that I have never understood myself. Why people go barefoot in places! My friends always ask me why “my kind” does that but I have NO idea. I think its disgusting.

      • Joey

        So here is the deal. A lot of white people (myself included) have this whole schtick about building up defenses. This includes toughening up the bottom of your feet. I had a friend that would only take his shoes off in the roughest of places so his feet would get more calloused.

        The same concept goes for the germs and the soap etc. I know a lot of moms that let their kids eat food off the grass if they drop it because it builds the child’s immune system by exposing them to more germs. Not sure if black folks do this too, but lots of white moms will bring their kids around a friends place who has chicken pox so the child can get it out of the way. There is merit to this method, but I can understand why others wouldn’t be down or be totally befuddled by our techniques.

    • SmartFoxGirl

      The answer to all of your questions is: because they feel like they are untouchable. This is why they will wrestle lions and go mountain hiking.

      • uc

        I think it goes back to the whole lack of fear of germs thing (mentioned in the original post). Personally, I figure if my immune system is weak enough to get sick from just walking around barefooted, I deserve whatever I get.

        Mountain climbing, btw, is a way for people who have never been in genuine danger in their lives to see if they deserve to live. People who actually have had to struggle to live rarely put themselves in harm’s way deliberately.

        This is not a rational response, by any means.

        • SmartFoxGirl

          Neither was mine and kudos for your observations. I think many can see what is done out of humor and what is not. I totally cosign on the danger mentality. We’ve been through so much as a race that you probably won’t find us climbing any mountains. lol

        • legitimate_soul

          Thanks for the response, UC!

        • Sula

          I think I have a similar approach to life… Lol.

          Well, that’s what growing up in a 3rd world country does to you. You fear NO germs! Ha! :)

    • luvtheshoes

      1. The barefoot thing is just plain country to me. I’m the first to be flipping my shoes off if it is an appropriate place but dirty, public places??? No, hepatitus is not cool.

      2. See above

      3. I don’t understand the no blinds or curtains thing either. I don’t really see this, though, as a white thing…more of a economic thing. I’ve always witnessed it more when I’ve been in areas that were more economic depressed, regardless of color. That’s just my 2 cents.

      • legitimate_soul


        See, my experience was that more of the wealthy folks in urban areas had their windows open and other home owners had their windows open or no curtains or blinds. Thanks for the response!

    • Mick

      I went to a predominately white university. I was the only person in my section to wear shower shoes (read: The Black Girl In The House). The white chicks didn’t get it. I was like, “Mmm-hmmm! Keep on playin’. Mess around and catch some sort of fungus or flesh eatin’ virus.”

      All that changed when the one girl stepped on a roach. I found her in the hallway crying and whining. After that *they* all ordered flip flops from J. Crew.

      That is the reason why white folks needs at least one good friend.

  • dudette

    You guys like sitting indian-style on the filthy sidewalk?

    Organic cigarettes? (the irony)

    You really like the taste of beer?

    why do you suddenly talk all “hood” when you get around a black person?

    Telling all of your personal business to strangers? ( your ADD/suicide attempts)

    A trendy dessert every couple of months? (what’s so special about yogurt? Cupcakes?)

    Smiling even when you are angry and saying evil things?

    Champ’s Note: Surprised I didn’t catch and delete this last night. Anyway, four of these questions can be applied to us as well.

    • Les

      My freshman year, spring had BARELY arrived, it was still chilli out. The whole class votes to have class outside on the GRASS!!!! This one girl turns to me and says “I just don’t understand why you have your coat on.” It’s cold. Ugh.

      • I Am Your People

        I guess the ‘hood talk’ is their idea of code switching. Or some Americans’ impulse to adopt a British accent around British people.

        • Silk!

          The accent thing happens to me with English and Southern accents. I’m not doing it on purpose.

        • Mackenzie

          Bingo! Though I’d say the “hood talk” only happens (for me) if the person I’m talking to talks that way. Make sense? I pick up the accents of whomever I speak with (which is really handy for learning foreign languages). I don’t think my vocabulary usage changes, though, just the accent in which I pronounce my words.

          Though…oy, try explaining to a British person what a British accent means. There isn’t a single one. Britain’s got as many accents as the US, but all squished into an area the size of Pennsylvania.

      • SLynn

        I’m assuming this wasn’t at a HBCU… we don’t play that outside mess. I don’t think I ever had class outside. You were good for getting people in class if it was raining, and if it started raining every single female had an umbrella.

        • CPT Callamity

          I’m familiar with the sitting Indian style on the sidewalk in a circle, playing guitars and smoking Camel Lights or Parliaments. I went to an art school and that was what it looked like before class. Talk about feeling like an oddball.

    • Caballeroso

      “Telling all of your personal business to strangers? ( your ADD/suicide attempts)”

      I had fully planned to be in lurker mode today and simply observe comments today until I read that statement.

      Houston, 2007 A.D. At a farewell lunch for a co-worker of mine I sat across from a pleasant-looking, older, female, 2520 co-worker. Being the polite social recluse that I am, I asked “How are you?”. What followed was her 40-minute lalomanical rant during which I learned that she was going through a divorce after 12 years of marriage, her husband had $60,000 in an account that’s in his name only that she doesn’t have access because he controlled the finances, he’s told her to be out the house in 30-days, he insists that she not get an attorney, blah blah blah, all of which ended with the following request: “Will you come to Vidor, Texas with me to help me move out?”. (Black Texans will understand just how many levels of wrongness is hit by that Vidor request. Hell, I fill up before leaving Houston to make sure I never have to exit I-10 when going through Vidor.) As our lunch group got up to leave the restaurant she turns to me and says “What’s your name?” Priceless!

      • Alovelydai

        @ Caballeroso
        I used to think that I was just one of those people that other people told their life to. Maybe it was the warmth of my smile & big boobs. Then I realized those “other” people were truly “other” people.

      • ComicBookGuy

        “Will you come to Vidor, Texas with me to help me move out?”

        Hell naw. When I drive to Louisiana on sales calls, I make sure I have no earthly reason to stop in Vidor, Texas. Good move, bruh.

        • Caballeroso

          You should seriously try to make the next VSB Houston Happy Hour! Sula / T-Lee, when’s that? :)

          • Sula

            We’re actively working on it. :)

            Any Texan interested in a VSB happy hour, email me at Thanks!

            *back to our regularl schedule*

          • simplysope

            Houston Happy Hour? Where/when dey do dat?

            On the Vidor tip, that was one of the things my dad told me when I started going to school in San Antonio.

            *insert thick African Accent here*

            “Sope, please I beg you in the name of Jesus Christ, no mata what, you must neva stop in Vidor for n-e-ting! Please, I beg you!” :p

            However on the unnatural fear many African Americans seem to have about germs and what not, that isn’t shared by our 2520 counterparts, I read about it in a Wired article.


            Basically African Americans may be more wary (and less inclined to do reckless thrill seeking ish) but that fear can translate into serious health risks that kill us earlier. Basically #whitepeoplestaywinning, not really, but yes really. XD

            I can understand if you feel safe all the time, it may be a little boring, so you jump out of a plane or climb a mountain for fun.

            I do have a real question for my 2520 counterparts (phrased in polite Champ-speak):

            I have a feeling (in my adult life) that whites are generally really touchy, as in a met a friend of a friend at a bar for my birthday and I go in for a handshake and this cat is like, “What are you doing? We HUG here!” (not the only time this has happened).

            Not to mention I’ve had a few fools in college hug me, grab my ass and then proceed to turn and LOOK at it and comment on it. (Please insert WTF?!?! here) Now that may be a function of their foolishness but I have never had my fellow Nigeria/African American cohorts be that friendly or touchy, at least not on my first meeting.

            Just wondering. :)

            • SHmee

              You should know… if a white man grabs your ass in a non-sports setting, and especially if he comments on it – he is gay. If you do not like men, back away slowly, nod and smile, and make it clear that you are not interested.

      • JustCallMeTes

        As a Southern girl (Texas cultivated) my parents always told me three things about driving.
        1) Never get below 1/4th of gas.
        2) Make sure wherever you stop to get gas, there are brown people.
        3) For God’s sake never stop in lower Mississippi towns or Vidor, Texas.

        As for “What’s your name?”…that’s a damn shame lol

        • Caballeroso

          Having grown up in Mississippi I can tell you that it really isn’t all that bad (anymore…during the day…in public…while with a group…with a police presence…while armed). Seriously though, all of my racial problems occurred within the past 11 years since I moved to Houston. I can’t recall a single racial problem from my time in the ‘sip.

        • kingpinenut


      • SmartFoxGirl

        LMAO this is hilarious Cab. I tell my business to you too though. ;)

        • Caballeroso

          I’ve got no issue with that. :)

      • The Champ

        “Telling all of your personal business to strangers? ( your ADD/suicide attempts)”

        How exactly is this different than us telling our personal dramas on Facebook and Twitter?

        • S Emm

          “How exactly is this different than us telling our personal dramas on Facebook and Twitter?”

          Exactly my point! I don’t even have to call one of my friends b/c I know exactly what moods she’s in every minute of every hour. I can tell that a good 76% of ppl who responded on this post don’t have regular interaction with our melanin deprived brethren. I went to Penn State and grew up in NYC, so I saw tons of black people doing the exact same things that most of these ppl think is white only.

          Like the beer comment, you couldn’t survive at PSU if u didn’t like beer. So you had to learn.

          I will agree with the sweatshirt and shorts thing. Even though after my sophmore year I kind of became immune to cold and found myself doing it to. But I wore sneakers. But in my defense, I’ve been dancing since I was 2, so my legs are muscular. My legs are always warmer than the rest of my body. I also moved to Chicago for a year after graduation, so it takes a lot for me to get cold.

          I also agree with the don’t get to wasted around the YT’s. I’ve seen some of the most disturbing acts of “friendship” when alcohol is involved, involving a spoon and a sharpie. But I get good giggles, lol.

          Maybe I’m just oblivious to most of these being whites only because I went to hs and college w/ mostly YT’s. B/c I’m typing this sitting in a sweatshirt, shorts and socks. #shrugs

        • Karen

          The difference is people aren’t forced to read it!

      • miss t-lee

        She tried to get you to go to Vidor?
        Oh hecky naw. That’s a set-up if I ever heard one.
        Glad you didn’t fall for the okey doke. :)

        “Hell, I fill up before leaving Houston to make sure I never have to exit I-10 when going through Vidor.)”

        We always make sure to stop in Beaumont to get gas, and we don’t stop for anything until we’re well into Louisiana…LMAO

      • Nutella

        “What’ your name?” *DEAD* ROTF LMAO.

      • Shmee

        Not all white people are crazy.

    • luvtheshoes

      Some of those things I have no idea about but 1) yes, I like the taste of beer. Blue Moon is particularly delicious. 2) the “hood” talk thing, I believe, comes from people who really aren’t personal friends with any AA but think that’s what they need to do in order to seem “in the know”. I always chalk people who do that up to be either losers, insecure, or uninformed. Now let me be clear and say I understand that some slang, dialect, tone, etc will slip in just during the course of conversation. That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean the people who seem to have flipped a literal switch in their thinking and speaking patterns the minute they start talking with a black person.

      • EmberRose89

        Sam Adams is my shit.

    • dudette

      Oops sorry.

      I actually have asked a couple of these questions to friends of mine (they were white) they didn’t get offended but I guess I worded them differently. It can be difficult to convey your point online when you are trying to get straight to the point. My bad.

      Also, I honestly didn’t realize there were white people who came to this site. Sorry if I offended you.

    • Matt Pierson

      I think that everyone code switches but for me the trigger isn’t the color of the skin of the people I am around it is the formality of the setting. I mean, obviously there are different sayings that I will use around people my own age that I wouldn’t around an older audience. I speak differently at church than I do out on the town with my friends. I speak very differently when I am work in a professional setting than watching a game with friends. I think that everyone does that though but I don’t think I change my lexicon if I am talking to black people or white people. I will try to pay closer attention and get back to you on this.

    • kokoluv86

      Lol don’t act like you don’t do the white voice when you interact with white people.

      • Yeah…So

        LMAO… Wait, did I just tell on myself?

    • Sula

      Yogurt is actual a popular dessert worldwide… :lol:

  • P.

    Why do you use the term “ghetto” so loosely when, based on the context of your use of the word, you have no idea what a real one is?

    Touching on #9, why do you hate shoes and socks?

    Why don’t you recognize potentially dangerous social situations? Why do you invite the middle-aged creeper who offers to pay a $100+ bar tab (while being a total creeper and making up a story about telling how his wife cheats on him with a woman) to join tables with us?

    (In case you couldn’t tell, that last one happened to me about six hours ago.)

    Do you actually have to do anything to your hair? How does it feel to just be able to wake up and go? (sidenote: My math professor has the illest comb-over of all-time… of all-time).

    Why do you feel the need to appease us by playing/talking about rap music whenever we’re around? I don’t spark up conversations about Nirvana because I frankly don’t care if we like the same things or not.

    • Squeak

      “Why do you use the term “ghetto” so loosely when, based on the context of your use of the word, you have no idea what a real one is?”

      Game. Set. Match.

      • Cheekie

        Dude. I was like, “DAMN.” Great question, though.

    • Nicole

      “Why don’t you recognize potentially dangerous social situations?”

      I never understood this. It would amaze me to see white college coeds running through parts of town that I regularly sped through at night. Just a couple of months ago a guy was killed when walking home at 3 am through several sketchy blocks that I don’t drive down at 3 am. He had at least 4 other ways to get home that night and he decided to walk. Its a trajedy that he was killed by some drug addicts, but seriously, how do you decide to WALK at that time of night through an urban ghetto landscape???

      • luvtheshoes

        I think because 90% of the white population has never had reason to be leery of dangerous neighborhoods, bad cops, predatory humans, etc., they haven’t developed the skill set necessary to detect unhealthy situations. The reasons for that could be a whole nother discussion but I think some white people have just never had anything tragic happen so they don’t assume anything tragic is going to happen.

        • The Champ

          I think because 90% of the white population has never had reason to be leery of dangerous neighborhoods, bad cops, predatory humans, etc., they haven’t developed the skill set necessary to detect unhealthy situations. The reasons for that could be a whole nother discussion but I think some white people have just never had anything tragic happen so they don’t assume anything tragic is going to happen.

          good response. see, i learned something and sh*t

        • Tonya

          When I read that question, I was thinking of these international incidents of Americans being in places they shouldn’t be. They weren’t all white..but they definitely weren’t black.

          Why..when we all know that N. Korea is NOT the place to be..would you walk across the river and get yourself arrested?

          WHY..when we all know that Iran is not the place to be, would you go hiking in the mountains and cross their border?

          I am going to speak generally..but American’s have this sense of entitled freedom that we THINK extends itself to other areas of the world. There are some serious war torn countries out there that don’t give a damn what country we come from, that will throw our butts in prison (and these prisons aren’t as cushy as ours- some of them don’t feel the need to feed you), cut off our arm, nose, ear what not, rape, torture God knows what else if we break their rules or laws. Yet, some American’s feel it’s okay to take a vacation and do whatever the heck we want to do? WTH!

          • Keisha Brown

            Why..when we all know that N. Korea is NOT the place to be..would you walk across the river and get yourself arrested?

            WHY..when we all know that Iran is not the place to be, would you go hiking in the mountains and cross their border?

            I am going to speak generally..but American’s have this sense of entitled freedom that we THINK extends itself to other areas of the world. Yet, some American’s feel it’s okay to take a vacation and do whatever the heck we want to do? WTH!

            As a non-american..i’m curious about this every so often. but then just kanyeshrug and chalk it up towards it being the amercian way.

          • SheWhoMustBeObeyed

            you might want to look up the name Aijalon Gomes. A Boston man (Black) that apparently went to N. Korea to spread the Gospel and got detained (surprise!) Jimmy Carter had to go there to negotiate his release… While not the norm, you will find Black people do stuff like this as well…

            I think it’s not a black/white thing, but an American thing where Americans feel that since they have rights and all, they can go anywhere and do anything by virtue of their Americanness… I might be wrong.

            • Tonya

              Didn’t know about homie Gomes. Good lookin out. You’re right- its definitely an American thing. I just went with the stereotype of Black folks running from danger..LOL.

              Lesson learned. :)

            • Sofia

              As an (white) Irish woman living in the US for over 8 years, I negotiate an interesting path – I’m clearly white, but not American – so many of the quintessentially “white” things that have been mentioned by black people here, are issues that Europeans notice here too!

              Here we go:

              1. What I find particularly irksome is this insistence of white Americans to tell me ALL of their life story – seriously – save it for someone you’re close to! You know nada about me and its going to stay that way.

              2. Although I have not heard it often – I do wonder why white Americans use the n-word. I know that you’re white. And no, even if your nephew is mixed race (yes a co-worker once said this to me!) it does NOT make it ok to use that word.

              3. Why do you wear shorts in the winter?

              4. Why aren’t you more interested in the rest of the world, and why don’t you want to learn about your own country’s real history or read news from other countries (instead of that from US/corporate news media)?

              5. Why do you place so much value on working so much and OVER scheduling your kid’s lives?

              6. Why do you not realise that calling an area / a person “ghetto” is racist? We all know that you really mean “black”

              7. When you travel overseas and do something stupid, why are you surprised that US law does not apply? I realise that this is not a uniquely White American probelm (it’s happened to plenty of Europeans too), but this self-entitlement has always surprised me.

              Ok, that’s my input. Note that I appreciate that there are MANY great things about ALL Americans, but in the interest of this forum, I’m specifically voicing the things that irk me rather than those that give me joy.

              • passerby

                “…..As an (white) Irish woman living in the US for over 8 years, I negotiate an interesting path …..Why do you not realise….“ghetto” is racist? We all know that you really mean “black”….”

                First of all, my Mom grew up in the old IRISH GHETTO that once existed in South Philadelphia. “Ghetto” is not a race-specific word, and not historically “black” at all — it’s originally an Italian word decribing the neighborhood of Venice where the Jews lived. It was also used in Poland, where the guerilla fighters of the Warsaw Ghetto (Jewish, not black), gave the Nazis considerable resistance. In America it has been applied to a lot of groups at one time or another.

                Nowadays, with the mass ethnic intermarriage among whites and the dissolution of all the old neighborhoods, admittedly “ghetto” usually (but not always) means black. And “barrio” (Spanish for “neighborhood”) invariably means Hispanic. And now, as always, these terms tend to connote poverty, not just a local ethnic concentration. But that was equally true of the impoverised Irish ghetto my Mom & her vast sea of cousins grew up in, or the equally impoverished Italian ghetto a few blocks away.

                Secondly…another reason for saying “ghetto” instead of black, is because the speaker is generally NOT a racist and does NOT want to come across as describing ALL blacks in a negative way. Using “ghetto” instead, automatically connotes a certain behavior pattern, and exonerates the speaker (at least in the courtroom of his own mind) of the charge of racism: “I didn’t say all blacks… just the ones in the ghetto!”

                Oh, and on the bad reputation of a ghetto.. any ghetto — My Mom had some hard explaining to do, back in old Philadelphia, when she told prospective employers where she was from. There was a presumption that even a blue-eyed blond white person might possibly be a criminal, or have unsavory criminal family ties, because she was from that rough Irish ghetto!

        • Shane

          My hypothesis is basically what you said. We are kept so far away from any kind of sketchy situation as children, we can’t even recognize one that we are walking straight into.

          It’s basically a parallel of the other discussion, where it was said that because you keep more clean, black people’s immune systems aren’t as strong. Well, because we are kept far away from bad situations like this, we haven’t built our “immunities” and don’t see the danger.

        • texaswhiteman

          It’s because 90% of white people arn’t told about the realities of black crime.

      • Ash

        Let’s not talk about these children at GA Tech! Whyyyyy are you walking on North Ave at 3 a.m. Friday night/Saturday morning with your laptop case in-hand? Or running with headphones past the recently torn down projects after sunset?? And then act surprised when you get got for your computer/iPod/shoes?

        Doesn’t matter how many times I see it, I’m always baffled by this…

        • acn

          as a former atl resident, i cosignnnn! i never understood that especially when they know they are just a hop and a skip away from the projects. shoot, i didn’t like stopping at red lights in my car on north avenue.

          this past weekend i hung out on the northside of chicago in a few different locations. it was like 12-1am. It was late and every white woman was walking their dog, alone. at least keep a rottweiler if you gone walk around at midnight, not to teddy bear dog. i kept joking with my cousin that they will be on the news in the morning. you couldn’t pick a better time to let the dog get some air? and the northside in my opinion has a higher “shady” factor than the southside, more places for people to hide in alleys and jump out.

      • Mackenzie

        I’m pretty sure the word “privilege” alone can answer this.

        You’ll find white women are socialised to be more aware of their surroundings than white men too.

    • luvtheshoes

      Ahh…the “ghetto” question. Honestly, I think it is some white people’s way of identifying something as “black” without saying it and trying to leave themselves some wiggle room to avoid the racist tag. I agree that most of the white people who casually throw that term around have never been in nor have even personally known anyone who lived in a “ghetto”. I think its similar in vein to the way the term “urban” gets thrown around in politics. However, I also think for some people it is simply another slang term in their vocabulary that they have never taken the time to understand its deeper implications. (“Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen”). I’m eyeing all the white sorority girls who use the term with impunity.

      • P.

        “(“Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen”)”

        Hahahaha, I just watched this with my girl a couple weeks ago and it was surprisingly funny.

        And yeah, “urban” is their PC version of “ghetto.”

    • Mo (VSS)

      I’m Black and I hate shoes and socks. I’m from Ohio originally and it’s so damn cold there, you always have to have socks on. I hate them. So, being in Southern Cali now I feel right at home. Sandals all the live-long day.

      And yes, if I come to your house more than once and it’s relatively clean, I’m taking off my shoes and socks. (Pedicure stays on point for this reason) Call it a bama thing, but who cares. I hate ‘em…

      • c.rex

        Lol I’m white and I hate wearing shoes and socks too.

    • nilla wafer

      Question: Do all black people know what a real “ghetto” is?

    • JessicaL

      “Why don’t you recognize potentially dangerous social situations? Why do you invite the middle-aged creeper who offers to pay a $100+ bar tab (while being a total creeper and making up a story about telling how his wife cheats on him with a woman) to join tables with us?”

      This happened to me recently. I went to an Irish pub with my white homegirl and this old drunk introduced himself to us then bought us pitchers of beer (which we didn’t ask for) and then she ignored him. He then proceeded to introduce himself to me 4 more times and tell me how much he likes black people and his girlfriend is black.

    • Carly

      “Do you actually have to do anything to your hair? How does it feel to just be able to wake up and go?”

      HA! Believe it or not, there are lots of different types of “white” hair. As a girl with curly hair, I use a range of 2-4 products daily depending on whether or not I am wearing my hair or straightening it. And if I’m straightening it, I have to blow dry it first, and then flat iron it layer my layer, a process that takes approximately an hour. There is no “wake up and go” in my world.

  • Leila

    Working with mostly white people and living in the NW, but raised in New York, I’m still perplexed by white people especially
    – Why do white women constantly put themselves down and are so obsessed with their weight? I work around 4 white women where an hour doesn’t pass by where they don’t talk about how fat they are, feel guilty for eating good food (one co-worker ran 6 miles after work to make up for eating 1 cookie), or starving themselves to fit into a bathing suit. The biggest girl in my dept is a size 4
    – How do white kids get away from swearing at their parents? I saw this ish at Target the other week. If I did, I would not be here.
    – What stereotypes make you mad?

    • legitimate_soul

      Really good questions!…especially on the self-deprecation.

    • laz

      - How do white kids get away from swearing at their parents? I saw this ish at Target the other week.

      They’re scared to death someone will call CPS if they discipline their kids.

      • I Am Your People

        Also, kids on leashes. 0_____O.

    • Caballeroso

      “- Why do white women constantly put themselves down and are so obsessed with their weight?”

      Reminds me of last year during the company’s wellness screening. A size 4 co-worker of mine with a donk that would make some negrettes jealous was told she had a BMI of 15. That heifer cried all day about being too fat. Real tears!!

      • Leila

        “That heifer cried all day about being too fat. Real tears!!”

        This is what I see at work! I don’t get it. Why is Kate Moss and very thin models the ideal body? Some women are naturally very thin, so I’m not knocking being skinny but love the body that you’re in.

      • The Champ

        That heifer cried all day about being too fat. Real tears!!

        LOL at “real tears”

    • Dee

      “Why do white women constantly put themselves down and are so obsessed with their weight? I work around 4 white women where an hour doesn’t pass by where they don’t talk about how fat they are, feel guilty for eating good food (one co-worker ran 6 miles after work to make up for eating 1 cookie), or starving themselves to fit into a bathing suit. The biggest girl in my dept is a size 4″

      I went out with a bunch of white MEN this weekend, and all of them compared their weight with each other. So I don’t know if it’s a ‘chick’ thing.

      • Kenna

        I think in “white culture”, people just focus on being tiny. I grew up in an all white area, and weight was a huge issue for me. Some background: I’m white. But I’m not shaped like a white girl. ALL of my friends in high school were either a size 0 or a size 00. Girls were either super skinny, or really big. Theres not really an inbetween for us. I’m a size 6. Very busty, small waist, no ass, lots of thigh. Noone else was shaped like me, and it was an issue. At least where I was raised, women were supposed to be stick thin. I don’t think there’s any explanation other than, thats just how we’re raised to think. My opinion? Super skinny is gross. I love my curves.

        • remi

          I’m a white first generation immigrant to the US and to be honest I don’t have a lot of black friends but I think a lot of the mentioned stereotypes about white people have to do with middle class white peoples’ obsession with moving up in the world. Basically as kids we’re all told we have to be straight- A students and attractive and athletic and basically perfect. Now I don’t know how it is in non-white families but I feel like the reason why white kids are often little brats is because they can’t meet their parents’ expectations so they get frustrated and the parents feel disappointed and just sort of give up.

          Likewise white people, both male and female, are constantly thinking about how they look leading them to obsess about dieting and exercise and all that.

          Same thing with “building up the immune system” which a lot of people have mentioned. I think it largely comes out of capitalist class issues. Basically there’s a lot more variability in terms of income and general success for white people than for black people and there’s just sort of a perception that if you’re white you should be doing really well. Like even if you’re white and you come out of mediocre circumstances you don’t get discriminated against like non-whites do so there’s no real excuse for not being fucking amazing. I’m exaggerating but I really feel like that’s whats going on in the white subconscious. On the other hand if you’re black and you’re doing pretty well, like you know for a fact that you and your family probably had to work pretty hard to get there, and if you’re black and poor well you got a shit hand and you had to deal with it. If you’re white and you’re doing pretty well there’s always the feeling of why aren’t you doing better, and if you’re white and poor than man, you must have fucked up bad. I guess I’m saying that in white culture, there’s a general sense like people have to prove themselves everyone.

          I think that’s also why a lot of people on here have talked about white people spilling their problems to strangers. Like if you’re going through some tough shit I feel like for a lot of white people you can’t really talk to your family or friends about it because you’re afraid it will fuck up your image, but when things get too bad you have to talk to someone about it, so a lot of people just talk to strangers. Plus you know that you probably won’t see the stranger again so it almost certainly won’t fuck up your image. It’s basically completely selfish but a lot of people don’t really have better options.

    • T

      Why do white women constantly put themselves down and are so obsessed with their weight?

      Good one. I studied abroad where I was the only Black person and all the whites girls talked religiously about their weights, drinking diet coke, running, counting calories, etc. It boggled my mind.

    • luvtheshoes

      The weight question…I’ve tried to figure out why this is such an issue for white women, particularly those who are already small. The only thing I’ve been able to come up with is that white men tend to hold up as the ideal woman a woman who is a size 2, big boobs and small booty. Add to that the media saturation of the same ideal, plus the innate competitiveness of women which can manifest itself as white women fighting to see who can be the skinniest, look the youngest, wear the newest fashions (preferably in sample sizes) and you end up with some asinine behaviors that make a size 4 woman visualize herself as fat.

    • Matt Pierson

      If I swore at my parents my face would be on the other side of the room. Honestly, I don’t think that is an issue of black or white it is more of an ignorance/educated thing. I worked for a while at Anacostia High School in DC and was floored by the stuff that students thought they could get away with saying to their teachers. That would have never flown at my practically all white High School and when I would call the parents to talk to them about it they were even worse than the kids. But I have seen those same punk white kids in target and know what you are talking about, it is a matter of ignorance not race to me.

    • nilla wafer

      White Movie stars and Models make us feel fat. Honestly, I don’t get the size 2 super skinny thing. I feel that bodies should have shape. But most of the beautiful shapely women that I can think of are black. (I don’t mean that shapely = fat) WOmen like Niecy Nash and Tyra Banks are Beautiful, but they don’t look like Meghan Fox, Angelina Jolie, (Who, btw needs a burger these days…). That’s my guess as to where it comes from.
      Again, I HATE when kids disrespect adults.
      I don’t know that it’s considered a stereotype, but I don’t like that white people are all still blamed for awful things in the past. In a college lit class we had this whole section on how some Native Americans hate ALL white people to this day. I don’t know if black people hate whites like this, but I don’t get it. And it kinda makes me mad.

      • Mac n Chee

        Native Americans have countless reasons to hate all white people. And white people can’t get mad about it. Sorry, we can’t. We systematically destroyed an entire race of people. When not outright shooting them which happened allll the time, we spread diseases that we knew they susceptible to, destroyed an important food source for hundreds of tribes (look at the decline of the number of buffalo over the course of a very short time in the 1800s), forcibly moved them away from their established lands time and time again, outright ignored treaties that we had signed with them, forced their children into boarding schools to separate them from their families and traditions to make them “white”, and still to this day act like they don’t exist.
        So if Native Americans want to hate all white people, they can. Let it go.

        • Noratorious

          I agree with your statement.
          I’d just like to point out that “white people” didn’t all do the things you’ve mentioned. A subset of “white people”, the Europeans, committed most of these atrocities.
          I grew up in Berkeley, CA and when I was in high school we had to take a class called Ethnic Studies. I was excited, because it was sold to us as an alternative American history, involving the histories of non-Europeans in America.
          Unfortunately, it became a daytime-talk-show-worthy shoutfest of racial accusations, assumptions, insults and all-around circus-like display of ignorance and ridiculosity. I was (and still am) ashamed for my great and vastly intelligent hometown.
          At one point, the teacher decided to divide up the class by race, putting all the white kids on one side of the room and everyone else on the other side. His genius brain thought this would be a great set-up for a debate about slavery.
          He had placed me in the “white people” group. He apparently didn’t do his homework.
          I raised my hand and said, “I think you put me in the wrong group.” I was being completely serious.
          He laughed at me and looked at me like I was crazy.
          “Well, I’m half Russian Jew and half Irish, and none of my family was here prior to 1875. So exactly how are any of my ancestors in any way responsible for slavery? My Jewish ancestors were enslaved for thousands of years. My Irish and Celtic anscestors were treated similarly. If it’s slavery we’re discussing, you put me in the wrong group.”
          His response was to send me to the principal’s office for backtalking.

          It is very true that we have no right to complain about the bad things our ancestors have done. Just be sure it’s the right people with the right ancestors before you go around hating them. Nobody likes being judged solely on their looks. NOBODY.

          • H.E.R.

            Just as a preface, I went to Berkeley High, which is where I’m assuming you were talking about, and it sounds like your ethnic studies class was pretty bad. They don’t offer it anymore. It sounds specifically like your teacher was awful because he should have said this “No, one cares what your ancestors did”. If my great great grandfather shot someone, I doubt you would blame me and why would you? I wasn’t there. No one could say that I had any influence over it or would have done the same thing had the circumstances been the same for me. No one would know that for sure. The difference between this scenario and racism is that racism still exist and even if it wasn’t your ancestors who were responsible for racism or the oppression of a people, if you’ve ever benefitted from your whiteness then you are carrying it and perpetuating it that’s why it’s all white people, not just the slave masters, not just the military slayers, not just their descendants who are responsible – all white people.

        • c.rex

          The people we’re calling Native Americans never stood together and said, “We are the Native Americans.” Each tribe was a distinct cultural group with a distinct language, and each was generally struggling in a battle for their very existence with every other tribe surrounding them. Fighting, killing and enslaving each other long before whites arrived in America. One reason whites were able to advance so quickly is that one tribe would be more than happy to team up with whites to exterminate another tribe whom they viewed as mortal enemies. Another reason was that with only a few million at most living north of the Rio Grande, there was plenty of room for white expansion. And plenty of room for everybody… but it didn’t work out that way for many reasons… South of the border, we can look at the Aztecs & Incas as examples. Both were aggressive empires and their fall had a lot to do with rebellious people who were being subjected them, helped in their plight by whites with ulterior motives to engineer the fall of those empires… Can we finally learn that we are all human and basically all the same? Hold individuals accountable for their crimes and not entire groups of people who look similar to them.

    • Carly

      As a white woman, I MUST jump in on the weight issue. We are obsessed with our weight, because we’re told we’re supposed to be a size 4. See questions #10 – Kate Moss? Really? That whole leggy, blonde hair, blue eyes thing – most of us don’t meet those standards either. For white girls, I think the desire to be skinny could be compared to black girls who wish they had more ass. Although I don’t see many black girls literally killing themselves in their attempts to make their butt bigger. I would say, this obsession may actually be a partial answer to #4. Cigarettes and Diet Coke – 0 calorie diet.

      I am 29 years old, and am still afraid to even SAY the word s*it in my mother’s presence, and I don’t mean directed AT her, I mean like if I stepped on a 5 inch rusty nail that drove itself all the way through my foot. I don’t think swearing at your parents is a white thing – I think it’s merely a reflection on how certain children were raised.

      And while this isn’t a “stereotype” per-se, it’s sometimes frustrating that whites are not really a “culturally” homogeneous people. A Jewish girl growing up in Brooklyn is going to have a very different cultural outlook on life than a Irish girl growing up in South Boston. I honestly don’t believe a significant portion of white people even associate themselves with being “white”. Our “race” and our “culture” are usually two different things. If you asked me right now, “what are you?” I would probably say, “I’m an Irish Catholic”.

      • Mackenzie

        Re: Irish Catholic
        My dad tells me that as a kid, he was considered biracial for being Irish and Italian. Irish Catholic and Italian were both excluded from the “white” (as in WASP) category at one point.

        And if you’re mixed a few different kinds of white, that answer will vary depending on context. If alcohol is being discussed, I’m Irish. If I’m being perceived to be another race, then I’m Italian (explains the skin).

    • Baklava

      What stereotype makes me mad? White college girls who say “like” all the time and think it’s just super awesome to look like they don’t know anything, even if they do. Why does this make me mad? Because I’m white, I’m a girl, I went to college, and I take pride in Not looking like an idiot. When they act like that it just furthers the stereotype that white girls are airheads and I find it offensive. I also find it annnnoooooying.

  • Anita

    Seriously why yall scared of ninjas? Even a 5’3 pregnant one? When I was pregnant I saw random middle aged 2520 clutching purses tightly when i looked their direction, made me feel all gangsterish, all scary and sh*t inside.
    Why no wash cloth?

    • charli skipper

      i was going to ask this? like, really, grown white man? why are you scared of a 5 foot tall young woman in a suit? i oughta rip your thorax out just for that ignorant sh*t to teach you a damn lesson. that’s my inner monologue, yall! wait. is that “undoubtedly racist?” :(

      • Shane

        Hmmm… Don’t think of me as dangerous or I’ll rip your thorax out? Seems kinda… contradictory. However, I’m not saying you’re wrong in this case, I understand you’re just frustrated from the nonsensical behavior. I honestly, as a white guy, can’t seem to pin this on any one thing. I’ll admit to having this same reaction, though I’m ashamed of it and immediately try to stop it when I catch myself. And I don’t know why I do it.

    • The Champ

      Seriously why yall scared of ninjas? Even a 5’3 pregnant one?

      i’m definitely scared of all ninjas, even pregnant ones. ninjas are scary

      • nilla wafer

        This was my thought exactly, until my co-worker explained that ninja was referring to a black person in this question.

  • The Champ

    Hmmm. There are a couple close to deletion comments in here right now. Remember, this isn’t a “white people, why are you all so f*cked up?” type of post. Last time I’m going to say this.

    • kingpinenut


      • SmartFoxGirl

        He’s just tired of getting hate mail. lol

        • kingpinenut

          i’m tellin ya…some sh!t needs to stay offline……

          Just had this discussion with a friend a few days back…

          smgdh lmbao

  • shay-d-lady

    why do you think you have to talk to me i or any other minority n “slang”?

    why do all 40+ 2520 women wear that same spiky hairstyle?

    why are you afraid of loud voices?

    whats with the kitten heels?
    seriously either wear heels or flats but that shty?
    why do you wear sweatshirts and shorts?

    what do you have against seasoned salt?
    why do you want to talk through the bathroom stalls while your doing #2?

    • The Champ

      why do all 40+ 2520 women wear that same spiky hairstyle?

      i think you’ve been hanging with too many lesbians

    • nilla wafer

      I think you’re generalizing. I don’t talk to all minorities in slang. I talk in the same slang depending on the situation.
      I’m not 40 yet, but I don’t actually personally know a woman with this “spikey hair cut. They all have awful perm things going on. And it’s because their hair is thinning.
      Kitten heels are just awful…
      Answered the sweat shirt and shorts,
      I LOVE seasoned salt
      I only talked to people while I pooed in college. And only to my friends and only when I didn’t have anything to read. It’s not a big deal, so long as you’re not talking during a push.