I love that song by Fleetwood Mac.
“Every night I got to prove my love!” ~ random cat in The Five Heartbeats
For whatever reason, I’ve heard from various people that a little jealousy is good for every relationship. Apparently, everybody needs to have a little validation during the course of their relationship that their bf/gf doesn’t want to see them with somebody else.
I call bollocks on this.
I’m not a jealous guy. At all. This has often caused issues within my relationships because I’m a little too nonchalant. Fact is, jealousy is wasted energy to me. If you want to be with somebody else…poof, vamoose, son of a b*tch.
You betta leave, me alone, pack your bags, get the hell on.
But this does cause me to be ponderous. Most men and women contain jealous bones. The mere thought of flirtation on the part of their SO tends to rise their blood pressure to Kill-Black-People-Levels. And the twisted part about this is that this jealousy is a good thing. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to see my girlfriend dry humping some random cat on the middle of the dance floor while “Single Life” plays in the background. But that’s mostly because I’d be inclined to grab some random chick and do the same.
I mean have you HEARD that song? It just begs for dancing!
But the other reason is because seeing my girlfriend in that manner would just be the most inappropriateness of inappropriation.
Basically, Panama James might have to slap a b*tch.
I’m not sure that I’d be jealous so much as pissed that my girlfriend would show that level of disrespect towards me. I think that’s where a lot of behavior that gets categorized as jealousy gets lost. It’s usually somebody doing something that is outwardly disrespectful or inappropriate and I don’t think that really has any place in a relationship. But some people like to know that the person they’re with would get envious of the attention another was receiving.
If you’re that insecure that you need validation that your SO really loves you, that’s problem number 1. B) if you’re one of those individuals who actually goes out and seeks inappropriate behavior just to get a reaction from the person you love, well you need Jesus, a box of Metamucil, and 2 2×4’s.
You’d think that if you fully trusted your gf/bf then the whole jealousy thing would be a moot point. But much like the study of Economics and prostitution, that completely rules out the human element of life. If you see some man buy your girl a drink, it’s quite possible that you’ll be pissed about it…at her for accepting a drink that YOU should have been buying her (remember that whole post about stuff like that) but really, what are you even pissed about?
And how exactly is knowing that your man doesn’t want another man buying you a drink going to strengthen your relationship? You see, inquiring minds would like to know this.
Or even further, what if you see some random trollop skipping around your man in a lace tutu and some black squirrel fur as she sprinkles glitter and unicorn dust on your man, and he’s really not inviting the attention but ole girl just can’t help herself. As the man in that situation, how does that further the growth you two are making?
Or does it?
My people, my people, does jealousy have any place in a relationship? If so, what good does it serve? And should ANYBODY be jealous of ugly people getting any attention from their S.O.?
Inquiring minds would like to know!
-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST
And one last time, if you’re trying to party with THE ARTIST KNOWN AS THE ARSONIST in Atlanta on Friday night at Sabor Lounge for Morehouse’s Homecoming, hit me up via email at panamadjackson@gmail.com and I’ll send you details on how to party with Mr. I’m so Awesome, himself!
I’m awesome.
I agree. A lack of jealousy can be a problem. My last gf had an issue with that, so I learned to fake it.
Sooo umm, you just HAD to be first huh? lol Wit’ yo one-liner.
Yeah I’m hating. AND?? hehe
Oh, you’re going to love my next one
always keep em wanting more, huh?
why exactly did she have an issue with lack of jealousy though?
perhaps i’m just the odd man out here but jealousy doesn’t fit me.
lol, doesn’t fit me either. I used to think it was because she needed more affirmation of her primacy in my eyes, but looking back, I think it’s because she herself felt jealousy a lot.
I’m one of the guys who always had a reasonable amount of female friends. Being the type of guy that I am, they usually were of the attractive sort. However, being the kind of guy that I am, all that didn’t matter once I was in a relationship.
But anyway, I think it was that she was jealous AND she felt it was right and perfectly understandable for her to be jealous. And so, if I’m not jealous, that would suggest that I have no reason to be jealous, and if that’s the case, then that must mean I don’t care for her as much as she does me.
Wow, I can’t believe I actually made sense of that female logic. . . Oh crap, the female crusaders are now going to be targeting me! If I get hit by a bus on my way to class today, you guys will know that it was the female crusaders. Oprah, Hillary and Halle are the majors. They meet in the head of the Statue of Liberty once every 3 months.
and you’re a guy dangit! so kamakula, did you ever flirt with your female friends? i dated a dude once when i was 24, who had 3 really close female friends and they all took me in like a little sister once i start dating ol’ boy. (they were all 5 years older than me, -including boy- and a little more um…developed) all of them were in serious relationships with other guys. however, he dished out compliments and flirted with them like his life depended upon it. i confronted him about it but he said he was just playin’. so, guess who got upset? *pointing index finger at my face* see, based on panama’s post this was more like disrespect (not jealousy) but dude didn’t see it that way because they were like his “sisters”. except, i don’t remember the last time i saw a guy whistle fiercely at his sister when she came out of her bedroom in a revealing halter top and tight jeans. so, let me ask you, were you this type? i had to ask… and, how would you rate this scenario? was this a benign display of play sibling affection or just plain ol’ disrespect? (i’m leaning towards the latter)
he whistled at her in front of you or is this just speculation?
and i have three sisters. i’ve never whistled at any of them.
he whistled at her in front of me.
I will admit that there were times when the conversation got playful and if you were an outside to the conversation or our relationship, you’d think we were flirting with each other. However, that’s as close as it came. There was no accidental or purposeful touching, footsie, or any advance flirtation techniques going on.
“if you were an outside to the conversation or our relationship, you’d think we were flirting with each other”
*giving kamakula a side eye glance*
Come on, if you were out at a bar and saw a man and a woman chatting, laughing together, perhaps playfully hitting or poking each other, you’d think they were flirting, despite the fact they could just be friends, relatives, or some other innocent explanation.
The funny thing about your posts are that I can always follow you in the beginning, then I zone out in the middle somewhere (its really weird like i can understand each word individually but in sentences it just doesn’t click for me) then I pick it up at the end with the question. Why I felt you should know that is beyond me.
As for the actual question, this is another issue once again where people (read: women) play themselves. If you know that your SO gets really jealous (or even reasonably jealous) for what reason on earth will you try to test them? More than setting yourself up for an argument,
(sidebar: I wish more women realized how much men HATE arguing with their SO. Like not only does it possibly cut off the poon cakes for that night, if you do a really good job you could make her cry. And when a woman cries she might as well kick her man in the crotch because its the same basic feeling for us. Like really all my sisters out there, if we say just drop the subject its not because we don’t care, its because we really don’t want to argue with you. Never in the history of ni99adom has anything good ever happened to a ni99a after arguing with his girl)
your signing up for a game that you really don’t want to play. Women flirt just to flirt, when we flirt we swing for the fences, its in our dna. Remember that.
“Never in the history of ni99adom has anything good ever happened to a ni99a after arguing with his girl”
not even make-up s3x??
“not even make-up s3x??”
Gem, that’s a valid point. i forgot all about ‘angry sultry s3x’…lol. still this is not always a guarantee and sometimes it doesn’t even come until morning. (pun intended)
i mean i’ve never had make-up s3x, so i don’t know anything about it firsthand. which is why i was asking. just trying to find “more ppl” i guess lol
LOL!!! *more people in attendance*
i knew i could count on the other 50% of the black grad pop in neuro to come through lol thanks!
yeah, i’m gonna have to say that makeup chex is completey different from angry chex. angry just means you’re still pissed afterwards. makeup is only after the situation is resolved.
both are overrated. if i’m mad at you, leave me be.
makeup s|e|x is more overrated than alicia keys.
Ha!!!!!!
“makeup s|e|x is more overrated than alicia keys.”
i agree. make-up, break-up, duct-tape up…whatever. the context doesnt matter. its still sex.
Co-sign…I don’t need to be mad at you to beat it up.
Incidentally, this is my pick up line in the club.
It depends on how long since the last session was. I mean if you have only been at odds for a few hours then that make up sex is not going to be that different. If it has been a day or so and that has been on your mind ALL DAY to the point you hit on the old cleaning guy, then mind blowing sex may follow.
bah thats overrated and I’ll still be angry afterwards
well..Wat if it culminates to a total end in the rltship?
The funny thing about your posts are that I can always follow you in the beginning, then I zone out in the middle somewhere (its really weird like i can understand each word individually but in sentences it just doesn’t click for me) then I pick it up at the end with the question. Why I felt you should know that is beyond me
LMAO ME TOO!!!! and then I will be reading a comment and see somebody reference something that I missed and have to go back up and re read it….
et tu Bruté-sha?
so y’all saying i dont be making no sense.
Lmao. You make complete sense to the albino midget, wearing the black squirrel fur, who is riding on the back of the unicorn that left the trail of it’s dust and glitter, in your mind..
thank goodness…as long as the midget gets it i’m good.
“Never in the history of ni99adom has anything good ever happened to a ni99a after arguing with his girl”
Dorian, this is so on point. arguments don’t make me h%rny. Flirting, wrestling & sexual tension does, but not an argument. That was too much information, wasn’t it?
With you baby, there is no such thing as TMI.
With you baby, there is no such thing as TMI.
get a room
“get a room”
Champ, you sound like you haven’t got ur daily toast
Oh, I just thought he sounded like a hater.
Hater, lack of daily toast. Same symptoms are exhibited
“Oh, I just thought he sounded like a hater.”
hate deez
“hate deez”
I do…I truly do.
champ is a hater. he just mad cuz he didn’t get no a$$ peeks today…
8th! champ needs some luvin’, hop to it. lol…
“With you baby, there is no such thing as TMI.
get a room”
@ champ~how come you never check the guys on here like you check me? If I had said something like that to one of the guys you would’ve been all over it…
the next time i type “get a room” should i do it in spanish so you dont miss it?
I’d say that’s because you and champ are secretly in love with each other.
champ and IH sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…
*snickering*
its just a school yard crush it will be over by the end of recess
“With you baby, there is no such thing as TMI.”
*blushing*
The funny thing about your posts are that I can always follow you in the beginning, then I zone out in the middle somewhere (its really weird like i can understand each word individually but in sentences it just doesn’t click for me) then I pick it up at the end with the question. Why I felt you should know that is beyond me.
are you saying that i generally don’t make any sense? lol. if so, it’s okay, i’m not sensitive about my sh*t. plus, i’m sexxy.
I’m also a bit TOO chill when it comes to my lack of jealousy. It may come across as me not caring, but I really do care. I just don’t feel the need to be all under a grown man asking “Where were you?” “Who’d you go with?”
If you want me to know, you’d volunteer the info. Plus, if I say I trust you, then you’ve earned my trust, which comes with certain expectations (which includes not doing anything foolish with someone that is not me). If you DO do something foolish, then I guess we did not have what I thought we had.
So in brief: Jealousy is a waste of time. I have a hard time keeping track of myself. I do not have the time (nor attention span) to be worried about my guy.
Plus, if I say I trust you, then you’ve earned my trust, which comes with certain expectations (which includes not doing anything foolish with someone that is not me).
I totally agree with this.
I say you need more people.
A lot more.
Maybe you don’t recognize your own jealousies – they don’t play out in the typical way – but TRUST…you. do. get. jealous.
Yo azz ain’t that cool, Chilli.
say you need more people.
A lot more.
Maybe you don’t recognize your own jealousies – they don’t play out in the typical way – but TRUST…you. do. get. jealous.
Yo azz ain’t that cool, Chilli.
DAYUM VEG… I was gone for a week and now I come back to Killa V.E.G..what is really hood? LMAO
lololololol.
I think in our minds we all want to believe we are super cool and chill and whatnot.
And maybe some of us don’t get jealous of other chicks but we do get jealous if we aren’t feeling like the brightest light in the universe.
I’m just saying.
Luvvie needs more people.
Maybe she forgot I read VSB…
dang V.E.G.
I know. I am gonna pay for this one.
But I felt the need to call B.S.
I can take the heat.
I’m going to agree w/V.E.G.
I’m a lot like Luvvie w/the whole “I don’t get jealous” stuff, but I know I do. The problem is how my jealously manifests. I either think there is something wrong with me and start trying to “fix” myself or I think the guy isn’t interested and I drop his azz. Quick.
Jealousy. Whatever…it happens. Even to Glittery G’s like me. Eehh…what ya gonna do?
I think jealousy is a valid and real emotion ( like all the rest of our emotions). We just can’t do stuff in jealousy that we will have to live with once the emotion passes. The jealousy will have passed, but the consequence of our jealous shenanigans will be sitting there staring you dead in the face. *shudders*
“I think in our minds we all want to believe we are super cool and chill and whatnot.
And maybe some of us don’t get jealous of other chicks but we do get jealous if we aren’t feeling like the brightest light in the universe.”
**wednesday night youth congregation**
i love how people front. when its one of my people i dont even call BS, im just there for the aftermath…
VEG, you need to thank Sweet 5 lb 10 oz. White Baby Jesus that I’m actually doing work today. I can’t respond with the severity that I’d like to.
But I WILL say this: “Ooooo trick, I see you tryna go hard!!” The issue that P-Money brought up was women who get jealous at other chicks coming at their dudes. And I don’t get the green eyed monster over chicks tryna come at my SO. The relevance of your comment was what now??
Yeah there was none. Go sit down b4 I roast the Black ON u and talk so much sh*t ur curly hair will go straight.
Thank You.
Management
The relevance is that you is a lie.
“I have a hard time keeping track of myself. I do not have the time (nor attention span) to be worried about my guy.”
REALLY?
Really?
Front if you want.
You know and I know that you get jealous over…well, I won’t bust you out.
But trust if you are gettin jealous over THAT, the SECOND a chick steps to your man, you will be pouting.
Lie to yourself if you want, but I know better.
You ain’t ice cold in that regard.
**singing** coooollddddd-blooodeeddd
I’ve had chicks trying to step to my man and I refuse to be moved by it. Believe it if you want, but I don’t roll like that. Like I said, if you’ve earned my trust, I don’t trip. If I was a jealous person, having a long distance relationship while in college would have killed me.
But here I am today, in all my awesome glory.
VEG, just b/c you got green eyes does not mean you must project them to me. SAT. DOWN.
Keep swimmin’ in that pool of denial and eventually you will drown, Ms. super star.
Pot: Man, you’re black!!
Kettle: You got ur nerve!!
This is coming from the Queen of all things denial herself. I’ve said this once and will say it again. You are often so deep in denial that you are standing on the lost city of Atlantis.
And this is why I recognize the ish in you.
I see that misery likes company. Hmph. Projecting heffa
*eating popcorn and drinking overpriced soft drinks*
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMNNNNNNNNN
@Luvvie:
Call me a trick again and your back will get dirtied/your hair straightened and returned to its natural color.
V,the following things are scarier than you:
Alise’s Unicorns
Bert’s Unibrow
A chick with a perm in the rain
Fall back, oh yellow one.
*pulls up a chair… ready to instigate
Can I sit next to you? This finsta get good.
*chuckles @ “Bert’s Unibrow”*
Move over! *squeezing between 8th and SC*
ooooooohh!
*after jacking panama’s popcorn and overpriced soft drink”
see what i miss when they make me work! how come aint nobody call me?
You can’t run…so you have no way of getting away from me.
I am bigger and stronger.
Your only hope is to tell jokes and hope that I laugh so hard I forget I had come to beat you down.
1. Don’t underestimate the funny. It’ll have you unable to stand up if I unleash my best material. THIS is key in me winning this matchup.
b. I ain’t run long distances, but I’m a sprinter. Will run away fast and hide so you can’t find me.
3a. Really… the funny may slay you. I’m the Chuck Norris of IG. One line and u’d be dead. DEAD, I tell you.
you are off the proverbial chain today miss luvvie… in true ninja form.
Meet me on State Street, next to Panera Bread at 5 o clock. Bring some vaseline, and wear some gym shoes. It will be ON!!
See you at 5. And I will kick your butt in the heels I am wearing.
Wanna grab sushi after?
I’ll wipe the floor with you in my argyle sweater vest and newsboy hat!!!
And yes, sushi after would rock. Or we could go for crepes.
Beating each other up, then getting food?
What ike and tina sensitive thuggery is this?
Plus, if I say I trust you, then you’ve earned my trust, which comes with certain expectations (which includes not doing anything foolish with someone that is not me).
**nodding head**
i dont see the logic in getting jealous over someone you trust. and, if you dont trust them, then you probably shouldn’t be with them
true…but i can not trust that heffa that is trying to push up on you. lol.
for me it comes in quick flashes and then goes away. for example, with my ex, if he got a call from a chick who’s name i didn’t recognize right away or know she as the chick he grew up with or whatever, i’d be thinking, who the h3ll is she? and then it would go away as quick as it came because i trusted him and it was all good.
but i think it depends on your relationship with that person and if you trust them, as you say. me and my girl had this convo once. with that particular guy (mine), if someone came up to me and told me he was cheating or up to no good i really would not have believed it. but my girl…the guy she was seeing at the time, if someone told her that, she could sooooo see that as something he would do.
true…but i can not trust that heffa that is trying to push up on you. lol.
thats the thing: if you truly trusted me, it shouldnt matter whether or not you trust her, because you’d believe that any advances she’d potentially make would be thwarted
i know. that’s what i meant by my example. i couldn’t even fathom that my ex would have cheated on me because i trusted him while my girl could because she didn’t based on things he had done/said before. and he was the jealous type too.
but i can still trust you and not trust some random chick because i know how ruthless some chicks can get. based on your behavior (which should be nothing to make me rethink my trust for you) my anger/annoyance will be with her.
thats the thing: if you truly trusted me, it shouldnt matter whether or not you trust her, because you’d believe that any advances she’d potentially make would be thwarted
I don’t know about none of ya’ll but I trust person to be a person…meaning I don’t underestimate NOBODY or trust anybody blindly. Everybody effs up in relationships, including me. I just expect honesty and accountability. If we can get there than we can move forward hopefully. As far as jealousy is concerned, I’m with Souther Girl, mine comes in flashes… like “i seen u looking at her a$$” it will sound playful but I’m dead serious… but i’ll look at an attractive dude…. cuz he’s fine not cuz i want him…it’s only human… i think.
meaning I don’t underestimate NOBODY or trust anybody blindly.
you sound like sonny in “a bronx tale”
It’s TRUE!!… when is the VSB happy hour at Ava, btw???
It’s TRUE!!… when is the VSB happy hour at Ava, btw???
pending and sh*t
In a nutshell.
Oh yes, AND if you find it necessary to get all 00-Negro on your guy, being all jealous and prying to find sumthin (wearing gloves while going thru his phone and buying spy gadgets), maybe that knucklehead ain’t sposed to be UR knucklehead.
Like Whitney did Bobby (and crack), LET HIM GO!
Get a hobby.
Go to Law School.
Train a unicorn at Alise’s farm.
SOMETHING better than investigating your dude for aggravated sluttery and aiding and aBEDding hoes.
I like how you drumming up business for the farm, good looking out sis!
You know I put on for that farm! hehe I’m such an urban youth
i second this
*getting into the “more people” boat
you actually think whitney gave up bobby AND crack? i think she still rocks off a couple times a day.
i think the jealousy thing comes from an irrational desire to still feel desired – basically to still feel like the relationship is still in the thrilling pursuit stage, not the “i can fart in your face while we watch tv cos we cool like that” stage. either which ways, the jealousy is stupid. if you’re in a committed relationship with another person, their attention and love should be enough. attempting to test them by grinding up on tyrone in the club suggests an insecurity on the instigator’s part about the relationship that needs to be addressed.
however, if a dude is acting up, i don’t see anything wrong in fading out a little bit and seeming more unavailable so’s to make him appreciate a good thing gone, as long as it isn’t overtly disrespectful, just enough to make him concerned.
attempting to test them by grinding up on tyrone in the club suggests an insecurity on the instigator’s part about the relationship that needs to be addressed.
***nodding head***
“if you’re in a committed relationship with another person, their attention and love should be enough. attempting to test them by grinding up on tyrone in the club suggests an insecurity on the instigator’s part about the relationship that needs to be addressed. ”
Just like yesterdays topic about breaking a man’s windows, grinding on Tyrone in front of your man’s face can result in you getting gripped up and effed in the club
p.s. i HATE that i know the song that “You betta leave, me alone, pack your bags, get the hell on” comes from, and that i have the music in my head but cannot for the life of me think who sang it.
I also can’t think of it, but I did catch the jay-z reference from “H-to the izzo”.
As far as jealousy, i consider myself to be one of the few women who rarely get jealous. I figure if i’m insecure about what my s/o might be doing- I shouldn’t be with him in the first place. Especially because i’m the shit and he’s crazy if he didn’t know that. (lol joking…kinda)
Ideal…. off the top of the dome no less…
*i am a dork….
That’s was the dude’s anthem for a while! Sad they only had 2 more hit songs, and peace…that was it.
2? i just remember the one…
Creep Inn and Whatever.
Whatever was the more popular…lol
I’ll still dance to “Whatever” like it just came out.
tee moo
It was a good song. Perfect for the two step.
LOL I had no idea they made more than one song. I learned something today *shooting star*
Which is apparently why they only made that one album…lmao
i own the album. no lie.
*thumbs up*
lol thank you!
and now its stuck on repeat in my head, thanks!
I’m listening to it now (thanks to the youtube Gods). the beat reminds me of “meeting in my bedroom” and “please excuse my hands”
I love the part where he gets tight and tells “her” to “get the F*CK on!” Lol.
Do y’all remember that song by Profyle called “liar” or something like that. Anyways, the best part was how he told her he was taking the house AND the dog! LMAO.
That was funny to me back in high school, but now that I’m grown and I see how much chicks love their dogs, that line is even more hilarious.
“Do y’all remember that song by Profyle called “liar” or something like that”
Yep. He took it all!!!
**singing** A liar, a cheater, deceiver, heartbreaker….I won’t, let you back, in my life, so I’m taking…the house, the car, the kids, the dog. I want it alllll…
This song was so catchy I bought the CD single.
oh THAT song… I was wondering for the longest time if I had missed that one.
“I love the part where he gets tight and tells “her” to “get the F*CK on!” ”
Yeah, he was singing that part from the diaphragm for reals.
He put some stank on it.
i also own Profyle’s album. in case you aren’t aware, i specialize in owning stuff nobody in their right mind would think of purchasing.
and when i say own, i dont mean downloaded, i mean i have the actual jewel case with liner notes.
save.me.
You’re not alone.
I have Rome’s album.
Champ was heckling me because I was telling him it was really good, and I think I’m the only one who has it.
i have it to. but, my version is not very good. you must have the remixes where Rome doesnt sing on it at all.
Booo. lol
There is a certain amount of jealously in a healthy relationship. Every once in a while you may ask your beau about an attractive co-worker or a old home-girl from college, which is normal. Most of the time excessive jealousy = insecurity. If you are constantly questioning your mate, you probably should not be with that person.
I REALLY hate to be interrogated after a night out (I’m grown and the only man allowed to question me is my Daddy), so why would I do that to my man? If I am with him, its only because he can be trusted. If that trust is betrayed, I’m O-U-T. If we have no trust we have nothing. Period.
“There is a certain amount of jealously in a healthy relationship. Every once in a while you may ask your beau about an attractive co-worker or a old home-girl from college, which is normal. ”
Yeah but that stuff can be a set up from the gitgo. What can a man say? If you say, she is not attractive, your girl knows your are lyin. You tell the truth about your thoughts and feelings, get ready to rumble.
You gotta think fast and figure out how to dodge that .357 bullet yet still answer the question.
There is a certain amount of jealously in a healthy relationship.
i was with you until “there is”
since Dorian touched on the fluidity of your posts, i’m inclined to do the same. i have to admit i read them like monologues. yes, they are long and sometimes non-linear, but i sort of well, perform them. sometimes at yogurberry with my homegirl (it’s an la thang) and sometimes over coffee & lox at noah’s bagels. i love when my 25 yr old caucasian play sister repeats phrases like “kick rocks” or “word life”. it warms my heart i tell ya. but i digress, what was the topic?
oh yeah, jealousy. i don’t like ‘real jealousy’, that’s scary. but a playful comment like “i saw those guys checking you out on the dance floor, cuz you look sexy girl… i can’t wait to get you home and bend you over the…” never hurt nobody. and i would never disrespect my guy in public by grinding some random cat to the chorus of Player’s Anthem. that’s unacceptable.
hey P-money, what’s the Metamucil for? do i want to know?
one more thing…you were right about LDRs. and for this i’m firing my people. i hate when you’re right.
“and for this i’m firing my people. i hate when you’re right.”
just what we need, more unemployed people
oh yeah, IH your pink slip is in the mail. don’t worry, i provide a decent severance package. lol…
j/k, i luv you girl.
if y’all think i’m non-linear in posts, wait til you have a conversation with me! lol.
that would make some sense, i’m a stream of consciousness writer. i throw on a beat and get to it…lol…
luckily, no one on the corner has swagger like moi. chuuch.
and i’m glad i’m right. i tried ta told ya.
eff it…EYE appreciate your posts…probably because i am a “stream of consciousness” type of gal mah’self…and my brain is highly non-linear, jumps from place to place to place at random.
thank you kindly, ma’am. i sho’ do ‘preciate it.
“and i would never disrespect my guy in public by grinding some random cat to the chorus of Player’s Anthem. that’s unacceptable.”
how about “get money”?
*cackles* i swear i was listening to this song on the mp3 when i read this comment lol.
“I think that’s where a lot of behavior that gets categorized as jealousy gets lost. It’s usually somebody doing something that is outwardly disrespectful or inappropriate and I don’t think that really has any place in a relationship.”
i agree with this point. i’m not a jealous person– i have no fear or resentment of rivalry or unfaithfulness (on the part of an SO). if my SO were intentionally behaving like an attention-hungry bachelor, then i’d certainly have a problem and we’d have to reevaluate our relationship. but if my SO is being desired by some one else with no reciprocation, so what?? how other ppl feel and behave is not in my control so i’m not going to be up in arms about it. i mean, chicks are bound to wanna be in my shoes and have what i have. why would my SO be any different?? haha, i kid. well, actually i’m dead serious but let’s just pretend its in jest. anyway–as long as my SO doesn’t give me a reason to snatch his a$$ up, we got no problem.
mean, chicks are bound to wanna be in my shoes and have what i have. why would my SO be any different??
LOL exactly.. like Big Ball said I hear them dissin when they think that I aint listening but them h#oes just be wishing they could be in your position….
LOL precisely
I agree… I don’t mean to sound too logical but who wants a man that no one else wants. Clearly, if you are with him then he must be worth being with and YES (!) other women will want him too. It makes me smile when MY man is the one they starin’ at.
So am I the only one who cannot stand it when a busted, busted chick makes a direct play for my man when I am standing there?
It takes all I have not to ask them what they are thinking! I definitely don’t get mad at dude but I do want beat a chick down for stepping out of pocket.
Just last week a pseudo mdiget chick in BIKING SHORTS, a peasant top, a patent belt, flat white knee high Uggs and a TURBAN tried to push up on my man. And I was FLY. Half that room was offering me drinks, checking me out. Why she thought she could pull something from under me I have no idea. Pi$$ed me off.
So am I the only one who cannot stand it when a busted, busted chick makes a direct play for my man when I am standing there?
He.ll to the no..thats a bytch thats playing you to close not jealousy (lets also make sure to say that it is a very obvious play. I mean she done grabbed his hand and positioned herself in front of you on some “how you doing” shyt or something like that..not that she just walked past and smiled a couple of times….) now if you get mad at the dude just because some chick made a play then to me thats jealousy.
Obvious play: dancing directly in front, all suggestive, staring at him, trying to make eye contact. Or passing – repeatedly – and touching him.
I didn’t get mad at dude – didn’t even let him know I was mad (my girls got a text, though. lol) cuz he wasn’t checking for her but I did want to kick her azz.
I didn’t get mad at dude – didn’t even let him know I was mad (my girls got a text, though. lol) cuz he wasn’t checking for her but I did want to kick her azz.
I feel ya …VEG.. to paraphrase one of my favorite pac joints
Trick a$$ h-o-es.. I aint the one Bytch!
LOL I have been extra gangsta all week.. I also stopped using the word “mavericky” and started ending all my sentences with “Mutha f!Cka Im ill” after watching this clip.. LOL
http://www.allhiphop.com/stories/multimedia__video/archive/2008/10/09/20567675.aspx
why am I telling you guys this? I dont know its late. going through caffiene withdrawal and you guessed it
Mutha F!cka Im Ill
LMAO I think I am about to call it quits…
Just thinking that some skanky midget in a turban and biking shorts thought she could pull from under me pi$$es me off.
I need to add ‘maverick’ to the vocab rotation. I am thinking of going as a trailered out Palin on Halloween so I need to practice. lol.
LMAO Shay, “I am from the moon”.
SMH…we have have got to do better.
“So am I the only one who cannot stand it when a busted, busted chick makes a direct play for my man when I am standing there?”
V.E.G.–i feel you lol. now days i find this highly entertaining. but i won’t front, it took me a long time to get over my jealous feelings and urges to want to choke a chick when she got outta order. one hard-on-the-eyes chick tried to step to my ex AT CHURCH. i had to stop and pray for her–pray that her face didn’t meet my backhand. i’m at a much more peaceful place in my life now. and in some ways i have to be becuz i tend to date men who are charming and kind to EVERYBODY. if i got upset every time dude amuses a chick trynna step to him, i’d probably be in jail. and i’m too pretty for a jumpsuit.
“So am I the only one who cannot stand it when a busted, busted chick makes a direct play for my man when I am standing there?”
Would you feel better if Stacey Dash was in his face?
Actually I would. lol.
It would make more sense. To me anyway.
I think it’s the competitor in me. I don’t want some chick who is clearly clearly a 3 to my 8.5 to think she can pull from under me.
It’s respect – for me, on his arm – and recognition of the fact that I am much more fly than she and she should step.
“I don’t want some chick who is clearly clearly a 3 to my 8.5 to think she can pull from under me.”
VSB: Where people come to lick their own asses.
LMAO.
This was funny. lololol.
“Would you feel better if Stacey Dash was in his face?”
if by “you” you meant “the champ” and by “in his face” you meant “on his lap”, then yeah…the champ agrees
Bwhahaha nothing about that outfit sounds right. But I find that busted people are more bold cause they have nothing to lose. Or maybe she was holding out hope for the club goggles to kick in. Either way, the audacity of jackalopes is never a surprise.
audacity of jackalopes!
*dead*
Y’all are on a roll.
“audacity of jackelopes”
LMAO!! Umm… Kindred. I think I’m starting to re-evaluate this 10 yr friendship. You SOOO dumb!! Why do I even talk to ya?
Oh… yeah rite. B/c I’m foolish too.
“Just last week a pseudo mdiget chick in BIKING SHORTS, a peasant top, a patent belt, flat white knee high Uggs and a TURBAN tried to push up on my man. And I was FLY. Half that room was offering me drinks, checking me out. Why she thought she could pull something from under me I have no idea. Pi$$ed me off.”
i’m guess SHE ain’t think you were that fly. lol.
as a total aside, you know what i hate, really fly unattractive chicks…you know the ones who are all done up in the right apparel but really aren’t cute at all. that bothers me. if you busted, accept it. you can (try to) lie to me, but dont lie to yourself.
consequently, busted broads have the most esteem.
“if you busted, accept it. you can (try to) lie to me, but dont lie to yourself.”
Panama, you need to repent-immediately.
So, then what’s your take on bangin’ chicks with wack gear?
i like to call them, “emo-chicks”
i like them.
“i’m guess SHE ain’t think you were that fly. lol.”
That’s what pissed me off. Her lack of R&R: respect and recognition. lol.
“I think that’s where a lot of behavior that gets categorized as jealousy gets lost. It’s usually somebody doing something that is outwardly disrespectful or inappropriate and I don’t think that really has any place in a relationship.”
I agree with this also . . .
I will be honest and say that I do have insecurities that cause me to be jealous stemming from my first relationship (that was a damn story and a half) but I can manage those internally . . . and they affect me a lot less now that I am able to maintain stable relationships with women.
The thing about it is, at some point in time, if you know you are a jealous person . . . you tend to let the overt disrespect slide in order to not be a crazy n!gga. . . for instance, a woman always asking you “who was that?” when you get off the phone . . . then u ask her (not because you care, just because she does it to you) and she gets upset . . . this has happened to me . . . and because I was too aware of my internal jealous streak I was conflicted as to whether or not this was disrespectful . . . even though (I think now) it was blatantly so.
“for instance, a woman always asking you “who was that?” when you get off the phone ”
Why do people do this anyway??? It’s like you’re asking for it…you are obviously ALL up in the business for no reason. Unless the phone conversation included your name, any reference to you or a few “baby’s, sweetie’s and i love you’s” don’t ask!!
i mean, chicks are bound to wanna be in my shoes and have what i have.
someone took their bold pills this morning
but am i lying?? not likely.
I dont believe that jealousy has a place in any relationship. Jealousy is a manifestation of insecurity combined with a unnatural fear of losing their SO. That shyt is crazy. I think most of the times what people are consider jealousy is just anger. They are not afraid of losing their mate, they are pissed off at an act that they feel is disrespectful to the relationship. The instance you describe above is not about jealousy its about disrespect. soon as the chick pulled out the glitter you should have maned up and told shorty, yo fall up off me with that glitter and shyt….If you in the club I am not jealous because you are dancing with another girl or having a random conversation but If you bent all over her mouth to ear, doing the slow wine with your hands on her a$$ or vice versa shyt that aint jealousy that again is you disrespecting the relationship and that is me responding in anger not in jealousy.
Now if you going out to get the mail and waive at the mail man and when you come back in dude grab you by the neck and swear you f@cking him? That’s jealousy..who has time for that shyt….oh and concerning ugly people.. if your man is not trustworthy it wont matter if the girl is ugly or not shyt he aint to be trusted with either it aint uncommon for dudes to date down when messing off……
.. and if you trust your man you have to trust him around the Halle’s and the Esthers….it goes back to the options conversation that was on the blog a while back, I believe my husband is faithful REGARDLESS of his options.. not BECAUSE of his options…..so I trust him around both…
“…and if you trust your man you have to trust him around the Halle’s and the Esthers…”
good point
I do agree
Agree as well. I also think that if the green eyed monster pops up deal with that ish yo self. Nothin more sorry than a woman/man constantly accusing someone of something with no basis for it.
“you have to trust him around the Halle’s and the Esthers….”
esther, again? if i hear that heffer’s name one mo’ gain…lol
esther.
am i the only one who remembered that Fresh Prince episode?
“brefmint, brefmint, brefmint, BREFMINT”
i miss the 90s..
oh no, i remember it vividly. fresh prince is my favorite show.
“…black squirrel fur as she sprinkles glitter and unicorn dust on your man…”
I can’t take this anymore.
Anyhow, a lot of women use the whole flirting/jealousy game to try to remind their guy that if he acts up, there’s a grip of men waiting in line to take his place. But if he’s too dumb to realize his chick is wanted by someone other than him, she shouldn’t waste her time tryna remind him. All of this is only if he’s not with a swamp donkey. If he’s with at least a universal 6+, there are other men who will have her–for the night, week, the next year. But there are also women who will have him. Eh, it’s late.
“All of this is only if he’s not with a swamp donkey.”
sh*t, even swamp donkeys are wanted by people. i mean, how else can you explain millions of new swamp donkeys being born every year?
Recessive genes duh!
I concur. It’s a well known fact that pretty people have horrid looking children. Shake that family tree and see what falls out!
Ok..mi dos pesos..
Everyone has a lil jealous piece in them. But you have to know how to reel it in..and not let it take over. (if you do you’ll end up doin a jazmine sullivan).
I have had my moments..but you have to think..if your man is doing something that your not sure hes doing, he’ll eventually tell on himself. I really hate arguing over some dumb ish..and i figure if he feels the need to mess with someone else..then bounce!
“Calling suitor number….”
Everyone has a lil jealous piece in them
lol…speak for yourself
o0o please dont front..its not attractive! lol
im sure you’ve had several..
“Or even further, what if you see some random trollop skipping around your man in a lace tutu and some black squirrel fur as she sprinkles glitter and unicorn dust on your man, and he’s really not inviting the attention but ole girl just can’t help herself.”
Oh hell no. Unichauns don’t play that.
“The funny thing about your posts are that I can always follow you in the beginning, then I zone out in the middle somewhere (its really weird like i can understand each word individually but in sentences it just doesn’t click for me) then I pick it up at the end with the question.”
I usually follow just fine. Then again, I was down with random asides, and nonsensical inserts before Panama knew he was awesome.
Now for the truth. Jealousy is the worst. It is dangerous, and often times, unwarranted. Luvvie summed up my thoughts well. If I trust you, I am not keeping tabs. If you do stray, then we did not have what we thought we had. It is so much da*n work! I have been called too laid back before, but I also know I be lunchin sometimes. And for everyone who says you have to be there to speak on it, I think foresight is key. When you jack up dude’s car, act the fool, or what have you, you still feel like ish afterwards. I do not like that feeling, ergo, I avoid that feeling.
Finally, I would just like to end by saying, ahem: “The greatest looooooove of allllllll, happens on VEEEEE ESSSSSS BEEEEEEE”.
Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all. For Word.
I also believe that children are the future…I sorta wish Whitney believed she was the future. That would have taught her well and let her lead the way…
Sleepy time!
Finally, I would just like to end by saying, ahem: “The greatest looooooove of allllllll, happens on VEEEEE ESSSSSS BEEEEEEE”.
vsb.com: where fatigue induced seizures happen
I usually follow just fine. Then again, I was down with random asides, and nonsensical inserts before Panama knew he was awesome.
glad to know some people can follow along finely. and um…i’ve always been awesome, but thanks for acknowledging this. lol.
hi-five.
but did you always KNOW you were awesome, grasshopper?
hi-fve! another reason i miss the 90s, they were great.
alwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays like Atlantic Starr. lol
Jealousy is a part of human nature. But some of us (not saying that I am…because I’m not) can be oblivious to what can be contrived as suspicious behavior because we are blindly in love or we just don’t give a sh-…poop about the other person.
Keep in mind, I’m speaking in general terms.
So yea. Take an athlete and his wife for example. His girlfriend KNOWS before she dates him that he’s going to have groupies on his jock. So there are two things she can do when she sees a groupie grab her boo’s tush: get jealous and rip out the chick’s weave, or she can ignore the groupie-hoe knowing that she ultimately is the name on the prenup (meaning half of what he owns is hers if he f-…messes up).
So which is it?
Me, personally, would rather take the high road. And if he cheats, I vanish from his world, literally.
So yea. Take an athlete and his wife for example. His girlfriend KNOWS before she dates him that he’s going to have groupies on his jock. So there are two things she can do when she sees a groupie grab her boo’s tush: get jealous and rip out the chick’s weave, or she can ignore the groupie-hoe knowing that she ultimately is the name on the prenup (meaning half of what he owns is hers if he f-…messes up).
sounds like someone’s been to one too many all-star weekends, lol
First let me say this.. I am a reformed property damager.. but never not ever not once has jealousy been the guiding force behind me going off the deep end. I have anger management issues and because I open myself up to very few I tend to hold them to very high standards and once you have my trust you have it. Betray that trust and like Bernie Mac said..there will be Trouble, Trouble. Now dont get me wrong jealousy can lead to property damage. But all property damage is not a reaction to jealousy. And also I would like to note that getting upset or mad because you catch your SO cheating is not jealousy IMHO
“Now dont get me wrong jealousy can lead to property damage. But all property damage is not a reaction to jealousy”
………………………………..
Imma be real here.
I get jealous. I do. And it stems from a lot of issues, insecurity being but one of them. Before the VSB therapy sessions start, I have never been cheated on (that I know of), dumped or had my heart broken. I know I am an attractive woman, etc. etc. This issue is simply what it is.
That said, I have never hit a boyfriend/guy I was dating with any jealousy nonsense (though 95% have hit ME with it and I have not cheated on a boyfriend since I was 17! Go figure…).
I know that the majority of my stuff is petty and ridiculous and so I am not gonna lay it on my man. I may vent to my girls. But mostly, I will keep it to myself. For the most part the ish dissipates and I move on.
I do not like talking about feelings. At all. Expressing jealousy would require a talk. I say ‘nay’ to these types of discussions.
OK V.E.G., you and I are on the same page. I definitely feel you on the fact everyone gets jealous, I just either deal with it on my own, or hash it out with my girls. The fact is, once love comes into the equation, you are bound to be jealous at some point. Do not even get me started on the chicks who want to get all cute and communicative, AFTER they find out a dude has a girl. Triflin heffas get no love…
Another point I feel you on V.E.G. is not wanting to talk about feelings. I feel I’m as expressive as they come, however, when it comes to MY feelings…I’ve found it to be a little harder. I think its important for folks to dig deep, and try to work on whatever issues might be contributing to jealousy, or any relationship issue.
Bottom line, I feel you.
i feel you V.E.G., there is a difference between feeling that twinge of jealousy sneak up on you and acting on said jealousy. for me, it feels like a throat punch followed by a lump in my throat. i take a deep breath and move on. but looking back it was probably not your garden variety jealousy, it was more on that fine line of being disrespected.
first of all…Shay-D quoted 8 Ball…just when I think I can heart u anymore than I do…u go and give me something I can feel…
PatteeCakes…I know u wanna leave me! but I refuse to let u go! am I an LDR? don’t fire me girl…u know I luuuuuuv u! lol
Panama eff whatcha heard (side eye at Dorian G.) I enjoy reading ur sh1t! I never thunk to act it out, a la PatteeCakes, but I imagine ur soliloquy in a more Shakespeare unplugged kind of way…I say brilliance…
JEALOUSY… hmmm… I mean I can understand wanting to feel desired (for men and women) but how bout u just flirt with ur SO to keep them feeling like they “do it” for u, ya know? I mean, I’m single and we all know I’m a flirt, but I have a favorite and I wouldn’t dis(retro)pect him by playing evil mind games that are rooted in chick logic and kill the quickies and phone s3x! who does that? I also wouldn’t expect my SO to pull them stunts either…cuz that would (by my previous definiton) make him a chick and I only like chicks on Wednesdays and Saturdays between 8am and Midnight…so he would have to go! lol…
real-ness…I get jealous, we all do, but only if I’m being neglected because ur giving someone/something else what u don’t even give me like time, attention, child support…u know, sh1t like that…on some ole “I had told Craig & nim…” type sh1t! not because some woman is in my man’s face…b1tches are everywhere, u can throw a rock out the front door and hit 5 of them on the sidewalk at any given time…if u sweat that sh1t u will drive urself crazy.nd er’body knows that crazy kitty tastes funny!
When I am at bat, I try to make sure my man feels loved, attractive, s3xy, funny, virile and all that sh1t, u know, remind him what it was that drew me into him to make him my man in the first place…sometimes we fall off…and so do the fellas…and the shenanigans ensue…cut it out!
BTW the entire time I was typing this dissertation disguised as a comment… I kept seeing Martin’s “You So Crazy!”…that fool said “ur job is to check coats! check’em b1tch!” and…”crazy…deranged”…now THAT was some funny @ss sh1t!
first off YEAH GOOODY……and to defend my co sign (and maybe Dorian not sure if it applies to him) Panama’s writing is great but I have ADD and he hits me with so many references that sometimes I get all caught up in that for a minute and end up at the end of the post for the questions….
and again I agree with your post totally GOODE but I dont consider it jealousy when my man has gotten caught up in life our time together is far and few between and I want and need him to give me a little quality time. Every relationship goes through spots where someone is feeling underapreciated and the relationship has taken a back burner to work, kids, practice, bill paying etc….but these feeling and wishing it would pass or that your SO would take more time out for you or having atalk about it is not jealousy. I think though that when a relationship reaches this point a lot of men and women resort to game playing and trying to make their SO jealous, thinking that a display of jealousy somehow proves that they still love and care for you and makes them appreciate you.. I dont agree with that though…..
i do get on reference overkill at times. what can i say, i’m a victim of pop culture.
oh and yeah.. you was making up for lost time with that post… LMAO that joint was long as he-ll!!!!!
Goode!!! “You So Crazy” is one of my fave stand ups of ALL time!! “CHECK EM B*TCH” still has me rolling. Or being in the club w/ ur “F8ck him” dress on.
Goodie!!! that’s of my favorite stand ups…i could probably quote most of Martin’s lines. i love that part when he’s imitating the girlfriend talking to the coat check girl and he does all those twitchy smiles…that ish is hilarious.
btw, i still luv you girl. you ain’t fired. what would i do without my vsb sistas?
LOLOL… this is hilarious to think about… i’m about to see if i can find it on you tube…
*wiping away tear*
really? thanks…i mean, i try. i really do try…i.just.wanna.be.loved!
lol…im stupid
PUFF the song was “Get Gone” by Ideal… and I loved it! men get such a bad wrap in r&b songs by women…it was about time some of those trifling, scuttlebutt heffas were exposed and dropped curbside!
*doing the routine from the video*
i said u better leave (leave) me alone (alone) getcha bags (bags) and get the h3ll on (get gone)
on the bridge the lead singer sang”Get the flock onnnnn!”….. musical genius…lol
AWW what happened to Ideal.. and the dudes that sang “Cheers to you”? now see this is how I get off track with Panama’s posts.. after he referenced single life..I began to wonder was he talking about Cameo’s single life? then I started to sing.. Im living the single, single, single….Life
and here I am…..my mind is like a dryer.. all type of random shyt just tumbling around it in it with very little connection from 1 thing to the next….
“cheers 2 u” was playa, i think one of the members died or something…. that is/was my jam!
You are right… Static died recently, he also did “Lollipop” with Lil’ Wayne.. They are from here in Kentucky.
Yep I was sad when heard about Static. Dude was a hellified producer.
me too. *sad face* that playa cd is in my car right now.
I never got the whole cd…just the single…lol
AWWWW! I love this song!!!
“now see this is how I get off track with Panama’s posts.. after he referenced single life..I began to wonder was he talking about Cameo’s single life? then I started to sing.. Im living the single, single, single….Life
and here I am…..my mind is like a dryer.. all type of random shyt just tumbling around it in it with very little connection from 1 thing to the next….”
yeah i was talking about Cameo’s “single life”. lol. i’ve been told i have that effect on people. one convo and you start feeling like you done dropped acid.
i’m awesome.
i used to be a jealous chick, but it took me realizing that if i stopped dating individuals with attitudes towards women like Rick James circa 1983 and rappers circa NOW I could see what is was like to be with someone I actually trusted so the fits of jealousy were at a minimum….. but now i have to figure out how to meet someone that is not coming in the club in pajamas and slippers looking for me…..
“but now i have to figure out how to meet someone that is not coming in the club in pajamas and slippers looking for me…..”
LMAO. I hope this was added for comedic effect and is not true. lololololol.
for comedic effect……. but i have had similar situations with my stalker from 2002 who was 12 years my senior….. i ought to write a book about that foolywang practitioner… i wish i had coutroom transcripts of that mess…
The older men are a trip.
A couple of weeks ago I ran into a guy I dated last year who is 12 years MY senior and he was talking reaaaaaal crazy. I had to tell him about himself. Nicely of course.
Yeah the whole pajamas and slippers could be dangerous. People need to be with a person they can trust and that trust them back so jealous thoughts don’t overcome their minds.
Panama, these questions popped in my head after reading your question, and applies to anyone looking for how they came to have the attitudes they do about jealousy in close relationships. I wonder:
Were you an only child?
If not, were you the favorite?
If you weren’t the favorite, do you remember ever feeling jealous, and if so, was the issue resolved to your satisfaction?
I like these questions, KIT. I’m a person that thinks almost ALL of folks’ issues stem from childhood.
I was an only child for 13 months. Then I had a sister who has never been a pleasant person, to put it nicely. Got a baby brother when I was 7, which automatically made me a big sister who was responsible for all kid-stuff.
We were 3 spoiled azz children whose parents (especially Mother) did all they could to make sure we were the center of the universe. Daddy raised my sister and I to be “independent princesses”, expecting to be taken care of the way he takes care of Mother, but not afraid to walk away from a situation with a man that wasn’t ideal.
I want what I want and I expect to get it, and I will..with or without “that guy”. I don’t tolerate the type of disrespect PeeJay described in the blog. And yes, I do think I am the center of the universe. Look up in the sky on a clear night…looks like God been sprinklin’ glitter.
“Were you an only child?”
Yes…. when people find this out about me they always say… “oh… NO WONDER….”
It’s because only children are different. Not in a bad way, but I can always pick up on it.
My x was trippin’ cause I pegged him as an only before he even told me.
we are different. generally we come with this sense of entitlement that can be mistaken for being spoiled. my friends do check me though, because sometimes “The Diva” can be a bit… extra.
also, the “onlies” that don’t have “issues”are also very adept at making friends. its a survival skill.
Co-signing this entire joint.
Onlies R’ Us.
I knew there was a reason I appreciated your POV so much!
Gosh, you make my 1 of 6 status seem like I come from a nuthouse lol. I cannot in my wildest dreams imagine being an only child. When I do, and I tried to a lot when I was younger, one, or all, of my siblings faces would pop in and out of my dream.
for me…
i have three sisters and who knows who the favorite was. we were all badasses. and i was never really jealous as a kid…i entertained myself. plus there was no need for jealousy…if one person complained…we all lost our sh*t. lol. we was broke.
“if one person complained…we all lost our sh*t. lol.”
So true. Collective blame was the worst. I think it was just so they did not have to take us to Chuck E Cheeses at the same time lol. That was my mom. My dad was an orphan, twice, so he rarely said no. Don’t get it twisted though, we knew not to give him a reason to whoop our tails. Well not my sis or I, but my bros:)
“if one person complained…we all lost our sh*t. lol.”
Hell yeah.
Or if one kid got a whoopin’ and you just happened to be in the general vicinity, you also might get a lick or two just on gp.
Couldn’t stand that ish…lol
No I wasn’t an only child, I was the eldest of four.
I was not only the favorite (for the 1st 13 months of my life anyway) but I was the 1st born of the favorites on both sides. My parents spoiled every last one of us and my daddy made sure he taught us that we didn’t need to depend on anyman b/c we are capable of doing it all on our own. He taught us to appreciate a good men and to make them “feel” needed. When I’m in a relationship, I make the guy feel needed but we both know that I don’t necessarily need him. I’m not the jealous type. I tell dudes off jump….if you think the grass is greener on the other side… by all means, there are exits everywhere, just pick one. I don’t like jealous dudes. And if you’re a jealous dude who has no rhythm…. don’t take me to the clubs…b/c I will not dance with you on every song…especially if it’s “My Song”.
Purposely created jealousy is called playing games. I don’t like playing games. Playing games doesn’t need to be part of a relationship unless it’s in the bedroom. Jealousy is the reason OJ bodied his snow bunny ex-wife. Jealousy is what leads people to spaz out and do other reckless things. If someone purposely tries to spur jealousy, they may be setting themselves up for an explosion in his/her face…and I ain’t talkin facials/money shots/get out of my car trick.
Unprovoked jealousy should be soothed though. Let the person know ain’t ish pizzlin and stop all that mess in it’s tracks.
“Jealousy is the reason OJ bodied his snow bunny ex-wife”
for whatever reason, this sentence reminded me of “jealousy”, one of the tracks on bulletproof wallets.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/dmusic/media/sample.m3u/ref=dm_sp_smpl?ie=UTF8&catalogItemType=track&ASIN=B00136LVBW&qid=1224686549&sr=8-24
I’ma have to check that from home. Don’t think boss would like me listening to tunes right now.lol.
I’m pretty stone faced with my emotions: think Soul Food (series) and Nicole Ari Parker.
Little things don’t make me jealous…SO talking to a woman… fine.
It’s when the girl gets all in my SO’s 50 feet (or he in hers) and I see the touching (we girls now how to do that!) and laughing , THEN I go apes***…. Mind you, I don’t go apes*** in public, Oh No..I smile and am coy with the female, maybe she didn’t know. But for him???? I turn into Blair Underwood on Big Mama’s Family Reunion (”Ooooh, you wait ’til I get you home. [insert psycho smile]“)
I don’t feel that there is a reason to purposely make someone jealous in a relationship… you are two grown people. I’ve seen it done… “he went out with his friends last night, so I’m going out tonight and not gonna come home until 3 am.” STUPID. That’s a good way to put relationship-ending drama right into the picture.
It’s when the girl gets all in my SO’s 50 feet (or he in hers) and I see the touching (we girls now how to do that!) and laughing , THEN I go apes***…. Mind you, I don’t go apes*** in public, Oh No..I smile and am coy with the female, maybe she didn’t know. But for him???? I turn into Blair Underwood on Big Mama’s Family Reunion (”Ooooh, you wait ’til I get you home. [insert psycho smile]“)
is this the guy’s fault though?
Why do chicks get mad at the dude that is the flirtee, not the flirter??
I don’t get us sometimes.
@Champ and Luvvie:
Here’s the thing…. I’m not gonna get mad at the initial talking. Hey, maybe she didn’t know he was with somebody. I’ll give her/ him the benefit of the doubt. It’s the lingering conversation and the 50 feet violation that will have me break fool.
no one called me out on this???? “Big Mama’s Family Reunion ”
LOL. I meant Ma’deas
LOL no one called you out on “Big Mama’s Family Reunion ”cause all the movies/plays/BET Blackbusters sound the same
“no one called me out on this???? “Big Mama’s Family Reunion ”
LOL. I meant Ma’deas”
I almost did for a sec, but I though it mighta been one of those straight-to-dvd joints that I missed…lol
Mist and Kindred… you gus are funny…
It did sound like something straight to dvd… Something like: “Dont be a menace to south central with drinking your juice in the hood.” LOL
Unfortunately, that was a major release…ha!
Oh! The tragedies of the black community… goes right up with with “I Got the Hook Up” LOL.
Family Reunion was a pretty f*ckin’ terrible movie. especially the part where the grandma rings the bell and the cousins that were freakin’ one another (!!!!!!) stop dancing and everybody doing wrong AT THE FAMILY REUNION comes over to listen to the worst speech ever.
i cringed in record paces watching that movie.
I think they were just finding a way to stick Cicely Tyson in a Black movie. Kinda like that part in Idlewild…lol
“i cringed in record paces watching that movie.”
you too? i cringe just thinking about that horrible speech, the depth-less characters and the trite story line….but that speech especially…. WTF TP? Seriously….
““i cringed in record paces watching that movie.”
I am with ya’ll… first of all who goes to a family reunion and freaks family members?
I am glad to see that I’m not the only person that cringes and gets chills at the corner parts. Hell I even mute the tv! LOL
Is it blaspheme if I admit that I’m not a fan of Ma’dea? I can’t stand when people quote the freaking movie lines.
Oh and Tyler Perry, love ya but that show BITES.
See I’m not really that jealous but I do ask for respect. I usually would class most things a female did with other men as being disrespectful and thats how I approach it but most would swear I’m being jealous.
The difference is jealous is being mad when your SO didn’t actually do anything.
“I usually would class most things a female did with other men as being disrespectful and thats how I approach it but most would swear I’m being jealous.”
most things?
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Single Life? You talking ’bout Cameo? lol
Panama asks
“My people, my people, does jealousy have any place in a relationship? If so, what good does it serve?”
Yes it has a place. It lets him know if I see him grinding on some broad at the club, I’m gonna take it as disrespect and we’re gonna have problems. I would expect him to feel the same way if I was to act up as well.
Yes it has a place. It lets him know if I see him grinding on some broad at the club, I’m gonna take it as disrespect and we’re gonna have problems.
this isn’t jealousy though. like you said, its disrespect
yep, Cameo all day long.
Not only does jealously have no place in a relationship, it has no place in life, period. Jealousy is the most useless emotion of all emotions.
Jealousy is the most useless emotion of all emotions.
good point
I wish that I could say that I don’t get jealous, but I do. I can’t help it, but I always get a little jealous from time to time. My boyfriend is a good-looking man and he gets a lot of attention from women.
how do you handle your jealousy?
See when I read the post I thought he was talking about purposely making your SO jealous, on some let me continuously flirt with this bartender/bouncer/dude at the bar…etc and make my man jealous. I know women who do this to elicit some type of emotion from their man, for god knows what reason.
I’m saying if you are going to do that, just understand that you are letting out the beast. If you’re a cutie, and/or you know that your man is Ryan Howard at the plate, you might not want to let that ni99a get a couple at bats in the club. You doing a little flirting, he doing a little flirting. Yours ends up in you getting a little free drink, his ends up with shorty drinking his little for free.
Yours ends up in you getting a little free drink, his ends up with shorty drinking his little for free.
impressive pun.
“impressive pun”, btw, was big pun’s original name before he got obese and decided to go with something more literal.
*Chuckle*
you fool.
“impressive pun”
Wow….lol
“impressive pun”, btw, was big pun’s original name before he got obese and decided to go with something more literal.
i da*mn near choked on my bagel with cream cheese spread and salmon.
I just appreciate the mention of Ryan Howard in the post…GO PHILLIES!
What about the SO’s that look for reasons to be jealous.
For example:
(1) the guy that will tell you to dance with or talk to other guys… in my opinion the fact that i always leave w/e location we’re at with him reinforces the fact that all I want is him. (what do you all think?)
(2) the guy who lets you know of all the other guys that like you, are looking at you or flirting with you
and
(3) the guy who describes you to others, get some response like “if you don’t get her I will” and then questions wether he should even be with you since you’re “so good”
its almost as if they want to be jealous of other men when it comes to me…
“(1) the guy that will tell you to dance with or talk to other guys… in my opinion the fact that i always leave w/e location we’re at with him reinforces the fact that all I want is him. (what do you all think?)
(2) the guy who lets you know of all the other guys that like you, are looking at you or flirting with you
and
(3) the guy who describes you to others, get some response like “if you don’t get her I will” and then questions wether he should even be with you since you’re “so good””
That is just asking for trouble . . . but women do this also . . . especially number (1) . . . I haven’t taken the bait yet tho.
“sneak in your house and super glue your hair to your pillow”
what if an artist like neyo came out with a song titled “super glue your hair to your damn pillow”, a response song describing the scenario ivr just outlined?
how popular do you think that song would be?”
Champ, I think the song could be popular, but Neyo singing it . . .ehhhh . . . not so much . . . it would have to be Jaheim . . . or convert it to a rap song.
Wait did you just retro-actively answer a dead topic?
Thats dedication homes (c) Sportscenter
LMAO I was confused by this for at least thirteen seconds. At least.
Tank might be able to do it..
“Wait did you just retro-actively answer a dead topic?
Thats dedication homes (c) Sportscenter”
Yeah yo, I got it in my inbox a little while ago and it had me in it so I responded here. . . What can I say? Got a boring job Homes.
lol…to answer your question, yeah…in hindsight, it would come off better as a rap song. i can’t imagine an r&b cat getting away with that chorus
Jealousy can be good sometimes. Here’s an example: I was talking to this young lady of a particular sorority who from time to time hung out with members of a particular fraternity, her “phrat”. I knew that they were just as conniving as the members of my particular fraternity. This made me jealous for some reason. So whenever I knew she was gonna go chill with them, I blew her back out right before she left. Her being the not dumb girl that she is, caught on to this and started lying to me saying that she was going just to get her some D.
Good memories…..
Jealousy can be good sometimes. Here’s an example: I was talking to this young lady of a particular sorority who from time to time hung out with members of a particular fraternity, her “phrat”. I knew that they were just as conniving as the members of my particular fraternity. This made me jealous for some reason. So whenever I knew she was gonna go chill with them, I blew her back out right before she left. Her being the not dumb girl that she is, caught on to this and started lying to me saying that she was going just to get her some D.
this is a good story…but, after re-reading in three times, i still don’t see where “jealousy is a good thing” fits. can someone help me out please?
I was jealous, so I smashed it cuz I was jealous.
It made sense to me and thats what matters lol
Hilarity this is…and smart girl she is! I’m so not mad at her…
I’m with you, PJ
I think jealousy is a natural byproduct of looking at one’s partner like a possession, not…you know… a partner.
thats a good point as well.
Being jealous/inciting jealous behavior is one of the most useless things in the world. I am not a jealous person. Its just not in me to be. Hell, if some “love sick hen” is throwing attention at my man, I feel good. It means I have something that other people want. Is that shallow? Sure. Is it honest? Yes. Hate me because you want to be me b!tch!
Besides, I trust him with everything and I know that he would never disrespect me by returning said advance.
Now, this is different from being possessive–which, in excess, an be quite annoying. I’ve had to check the man in the past because he would feel it necessary to make every male within a 50 ft radius of me understand that I was HIS girl. He really had a hard time with this because I am very friendly and somewhat oblivious to advances from interested parties (both males and females… yeah, it BE like that sometimes).
P, I touched on this yesterday, but why is it, that whenever you post something remotely negative about a womans ways, they ALL act like you’re not talking about them? “i’m cool”, “I don’t trip!”, “that could never be me, I’m too chill”. I can assure you, yall women are NEVER jealous…..up until you finally meet your man’s co-worker that he always talks about, and from the stories he’s told you, you have in your head that this girl is just straight hideous,but NOPE!! that “bitch” has a body like Beyonce, face like Sanaa Lathan, and no ammo for you to pick apart…ie-hair, clothes and shoe game—on point! Ha!
That, my friends, is the defining moment. Fellas, you will not hear about it then, because she’s waaay “too chill”. But bet that *ss you wont shut your eyes that night without her saying something…something that’ll make you laugh like hell…on the inside of course! LOL
cuz you DO wanna get some sleep
here’s the rub though…. that jealousy is not necessarily intentionally incited on his part. his behavior is the only thing that matters to me.
she’s fly? okay. cool. shit, he’s married, he ain’t dead. he can look around the store, but he BEST not touch anything. and what’s good for the gander is good for the goose…
They don’t even have to be makin’ googley eyes at each other…she just has to look good as your woman, and be showing her teeth. If a man goes past the 30 second limit of conversation (and it IS 30 seconds), and a brotha’s fate for the evening is sealed. Either your woman is gonna give you jealous-woman-superhead head, or the couch….brothers, make sure your emergency contacts are up to date. Ha!
maybe i’m just wired differently, or maybe its that “Only Child Sense of Entitlement” thing, but I could give a rat’s ass if he spent more than 30 seconds talking to her in my presence. He’s WITH ME.
From what you said, he spends 8 hours a day with her at work. If he had time and opportunity like that and still comes home to blow my back out like its the first time, I don’t give a sh*t.
Also, I’m a shamless (but committed) flirt myself, so I can’t be too much of a hypocrite.
“but why is it, that whenever you post something remotely negative about a womans ways, they ALL act like you’re not talking about them? “i’m cool”, “I don’t trip!”, “that could never be me, I’m too chill”.”
i don’t think this actually applies here. becuz there have been a mixture of responses. plenty ladies have admitted to being jealous, slightly possessive, etc.
additionally, my questions to you are, (a) why do men assume that ALL women lie and (b) assume ALL women will react the SAME to ALL situations??
“additionally, my questions to you are, (a) why do men assume that ALL women lie and (b) assume ALL women will react the SAME to ALL situations??”
1. Everybody lies, even mother Teresa and the freaking Pope
2. From all the women that I’ve been involved with to watching on the side lines women do, do the same ish. Either they will flip out when ish happens or they flip out when they get home. It’s a scientific fact and shty
Eff, my sentiments, exactly!
“2. From all the women that I’ve been involved with to watching on the side lines women do, do the same ish. Either they will flip out when ish happens or they flip out when they get home. It’s a scientific fact and shty”
all the women YOU’ve been with. thanks for making that clear. i suspect you haven’t been with ALL women on this planet?? ok moving on…
oh, Gem, calm yo’ ass down! LOL these here is some facts, dammit!
LOL! you are talking to a scientist. and all scientists know that there is ALWAYS an exception to a “rule”.
besides, these are “men” facts, which aren’t the same as real facts lol. but i still luh ya *hugs*
yeah but as a scientist you ALSO recognize that theories exist for a reason. generally accepted practices which cannot be always replicated exactly for whatever reason. and women tend to react very similarly to stuff…as i assume some men do.
also, correct me if i’m wrong…but isn’t the exception generally referred to as an anomaly or an outlier and generally tossed from the data set when scrubbing data? most outliers are dropped when trying to gain meaningful information.
Gem, is it safe to assume, YOU are that exception?….um, yes….of course…all VSB ladies are! LOL
Don’t let me read anything about any of yall in the Chi. Tribune.
“also, correct me if i’m wrong…but isn’t the exception generally referred to as an anomaly or an outlier and generally tossed from the data set when scrubbing data? most outliers are dropped when trying to gain meaningful information.”
ok. you’re wrong. not all exceptions are “outliers.” and to consider a data point an outlier, different/appropriate stats need to be done. take a scientific stats course that talks about MORE than z-scores and anovas and you’ll understand.
hmm…somebody needs a hug. however, let me clear up the fact that i do in fact know that. however, generally speaking, many outliers ARE dropped from data sets b/c they ARE anomalies.
and miss lady, i also happen to TEACH statistics (and econometrics)…so perhaps i do understand.
that wasn’t sad out of hate, my brotha. it’s all good. no hugs are needed here, tho they’re welcomed
but just becuz you teach stats doesn’t mean you understand how to apply them to scientific data. i’m not calling you dumb, so please don’t take it that way. i just understand from taking very specialized stats that science (esp neuro) data isn’t always that simple to analyze, esp with diff “exceptions” and non-normal data. not all seemingly “outlier” data points are to be thrown out–depending on distribution (normal, gamma, exp), correlation, etc, you know. just becuz data doesn’t fit a normal distribution, doesn’t mean there are “anomolies” or “outliers.” that’s all i’m saying.
I’m gonna *throat punch* this whole comment right chere.
Thank you, and good night.
*squirming on the floor, gasping for oxygen from the jab to the throat*
*Picks up Dirty Jerz and dusts him off*
Sometimes I do get jealous, but more than anything I get angry when I feel I’m being disrespected. If that means a girl is all up in your face when I’m around, I’m angry with her. If that means a girl is all up in your face when I’m around or when I’m not, and you encourage it and feed into it, then I’m angry with you. Jane Blaze-ing, Rise of the Phoenix-burn shyt up-ass angry.
Anybody that blatantly disrespects thier SO gets no love or respect from me. If you’re heavily flirting with somebody for any reason and you aren’t single, you deserve to be beat down in the streets with a hammer for disrespecting your unsuspecting SO.
period.
“If you’re heavily flirting with somebody for any reason and you aren’t single, you deserve to be beat down in the streets with a hammer for disrespecting your unsuspecting SO.”
Regular hammer or sledge?
lmao, why does everyone on here skim messages for the first mention of fairy dust or black fur? miss t-lee, i would say 8th would def go for a sledge.
I’m not picky, e-twinny…whichever hammer I can get my hands on first will work.
Gotcha.
“If you’re heavily flirting with somebody for any reason and you aren’t single, you deserve to be beat down in the streets with a hammer for disrespecting your unsuspecting SO.”
I don’t know about all that. I mean its tricky but I guess its different for every situation.
“Sometimes I do get jealous, but more than anything I get angry when I feel I’m being disrespected. ”
I agree. It all comes down to RESPECT.
Having my man get close to another chick will only result in me thinking he wants said chick. Trust me when I say that IN NO WAY will this be good for our relationship.
However, knowing that some chick he’s not checking for wants a piece of the rock might make me more appreciative of what I have, which could be good thing.
“Having my man get close to another chick will only result in me thinking he wants said chick.”
how do you define “close”?
I meant close in the “dry humping some random (skank) on the middle of the dance floor” way, but upon reflection a strong emotional attachment could potentially be an issue. I’m cool with having friends of the opposite sex, but office spouses and all that? Negatory.
Momma said to be happy if you SO is attracting attention from the opposite sex because you don’t want to be with someone nobody else wants.
I am soooo just not a jealous person. I think that jealousy is a sign of insecurity… I’m very confident and therefore I don’t trip on certain things…I feel like there is no need to get riled up over something small…seeing my SO dance with someone else would not bother me in the least…In fact it would take an awful big, outta line display of affection or flirtation toward another female on my SO’s behalf to get me to even have an attitude…That probably has to do with my pride. I have too much of it to let a person know that their actions have directly affected my own.
Thats what you say now
“I’m not sure that I’d be jealous so much as pissed that my girlfriend would show that level of disrespect towards me. I think that’s where a lot of behavior that gets categorized as jealousy gets lost.”
…this sh*t right here ni99a, this sh*t right here ni99a… is REAL EFFING TALK. I’m not saying I don’t get jealous, everyone does at some point or another. And I KNOW when I’m jealous. Therefore I don’t need people (read: my SO and/or friends) telling me I’m jealous when I’m not… and it’s in instances like above when that’s usually the case.
i’m still unsure whether or not you felt that p’s entry contained any real talk. could you please make it clear to me.
LOL. So I got a little heavy on the emphasis… but shoot, I meant it! hahaha
DEAD @ And should ANYBODY be jealous of ugly people getting any attention from their S.O.
I don’t really think there is a place for the kind of jealousy you are talking about. I’ve never been a jealous chick and it was a huge issues especially when I caught my husband cheating, he was convinced I didn’t love him because I didn’t go all Waiting Exhale on him and burn his clothes and sell his shyt for a $ but for real why? What would be the point?
Although recently, I have noticed an uneasiness in me in my current “relationship” when I think of other people he is in contact with. We are not in the same city right now, and to be honest I do find myself wondering what if he is out looking to replace me. Then I think about some of the shyt I do and wonder how he would feel and come to the realization if we are meant to be we are meant to be no need in behaving like a fool. Not gonna stop him, plus I don’t want nobody trying to control me and who I flirt with or talk too, after all I ain’t done nothing wrong.
I don’t think I could deal with a jealous mate, I remember once when I was married my ex went through my phone and it changed my whole view of him and who he was as a person I thought HOW WEAK! You can’t even control your emotions.
I guess to each his/her own I just honestly don’t have time to be policing folks. Still today I don’t after having been with someone who apparently needed some reminded of his vows. *lol* Nah it ain’t that serious what will be will be and we should try to control those things or be jealous when they happen.
-OG
og, thanks for stopping by and sh*t
slightly off the topic of wanting to intentionally make your SO jealous…
is it just me or does it seem like often times the jealous person in a relationship is the one that’s the least trustworthy?? my ex was extremely jealous (due to his low self esteem), esp of my male friends. if i went out with my girls, he’d assume the worst and think i was trynna get my groove back with some random dudes. and he always let me know–either verbally or nonverbally–that he didn’t approve. but i was always honest and up front about things and never gave him a reason to think i was disrespecting him, behind his back or to his face. YET, he was the one that got caught up lying and engaging in questionable/inappropriate behavior. he’s the one who gave reason to be suspicious of his behavior, yet he was the jealous one…. *smh* hmph hmp hmph idk
Yep…I had one that was insanely jealous of any time I spent with anyone else BUT him…yet I later busted him in all sorts of shenanigans…and he lied and tried to claim that it wasn’t what it looked like…fool.
“and he lied and tried to claim that it wasn’t what it looked like”
girrrrrrrl. i didn’t find out about the entire truth of my ex’s shenanigans until years after we broke up. he was tryin to keep up the lies thinking we’d get back together. darn shame.
is it just me or does it seem like often times the jealous person in a relationship is the one that’s the least trustworthy??
It’s not just u, Gem… I think it’s this way bcuz they know what they are capable of and figure anyone else can or might do the same things they do…
sho you right!
I don’t do jealousy.
I’m not going to lie and say there haven’t been times that I was jealous. Everybody has it to some extent, even if just a tiny bit. However, I’m with PJ in that if I see something that makes me go hmm…I don’t get mad…I get even and/or get gone. Simple, no mess, no fuss, no drama…and I don’t end up in jail. Strangely, I’ve dated some jealous arse brothas though, including several who claimed they “didn’t have a jealous bone in their body”.
I don’t do jealousy.
i don’t believe you
At the end of the day . . . I think everyone has different degrees of jealousy. . . and I really think people need to be with counterparts that are alike.
For instance, if you are the type of person that has little insecurities, you may need someone that is the same way . . . the both of you have to be cognizant of that because you can be able to understand where the other person is coming from.
If you are just not a jealous person at all (which I do not believe exist, but they are apparently here on VSB) then you need someone like that . . . so you both can go do whatever and everyone is cool.
If you are a psycho, show up in the club in Pajamas and chancletas . . . then you need someone like you to grow old and crazy with. . .
Just my thoughts.
and I really think people need to be with counterparts that are alike.
good point and sh*t. like chris rock said, church-goers and crackheads probably shouldnt date each other
Jealously is a mofo. Sometimes these situations are brought on my the SO’s past transgressions. I was with this one girl and within 2 weeks of being involved, I got caught cheating. After she took me back, she would damn near start fights with any female that smiled at me. I mean I couldn’t have a conversation with another chick with hearing about it later. Of course my dumb ass stayed in that relationship. At first I thought it was kinda of cute to have someone hanging from my nuttz like that, but after a while it got old . . . really fast. And me being the type of person I am I got didn’t get mad, I got even. I turned into the jealous & bitter person, to show her how that ish feels and how stupid she looked. I say all this to say that it goes back to people making the mistake of being in relationships with people they have no business being in a relationship with. And when you start playing games it just makes things worse
Wow eff… this is the first time i have ever heard a man admit so much… i’m flabbergasted and happy at the same time.
**looking at screen all proud and misty eyed**
being in relationships with people they have no business being in a relationship with
close-busing 101
Weakness of spirit.
Not having the tools to get at the base of the problem.
My top three reasons folks fall into the jealousy trap
-They use jealousy as a weapon to hurt their SO or as a sorry attempt to get their attention
-They dont have enough guts to accept that maybe their SO does not want them anymore and just aint made that move yet
-They are not accepting that it is stupid to try and use the desire of another for you as a way to revive their present relationship
i like short lists. like, i’ll read a list about anything, regardless of how inane and inconsequential the contents of said list actually are
Ever read Ego Trip’s book of rap lists?
I loved it, someone unfortunately got me for it.
Me too, Champ! I’m a list-lover myself
Jealousy Schmealousy.
I think it all depends upon your age and your experience. We all have lived through being jelly in a relationship; but some of us can’t grow beyond what should be vital life lessons. If you are Jelly at 43…Houston you have a serious problem….
ok…it took me like three reads to realize that “jelly” was a colloquial way of saying “jealous”.
luvvie was right, i need my f*cking toast
i would say there is a difference b/t getting disrespected, promptly putting your pimp hand down on said disrespect, and actually being jealous. i think there is reactive jealousy (see: pimp hand) and proactive jealousy. if i see my girl grinding on some random dude, while plies & jamie foxx eggs ‘em on, then i’ll handle it. but i’m not following you to the club out of fear that you might do it. that’s the difference. oh, and just b/c you’re nonchalant about your jealousy doesn’t mean you ain’t cry in the car. i’m just saying…
speaking of that viral song, that is another song I classify as a “rape carol”…
“oh, and just b/c you’re nonchalant about your jealousy doesn’t mean you ain’t cry in the car. i’m just saying…”
i’m assuming this is soley aimed at the ladies??
ummmm no… dudes may cry in the car too. the car doesn’t discriminate. it’s the private chamber of b!tcha$$ness
Very simple, if you have to worry about your man and what he is or isn’t doing then HE IS NOT YOUR MAN… HE’S A H03! LOL!
so profoundly stated lol. welcome back
*completely unrelated* Anyone hear that Don Cornelius is going to jail for domestic violence?? Really? at 72 (not that it is ever OK but what could he have been mad at)?? Craziness
yeah, i read that yesterday and i’m still trying to fully process that information
say it aint so Joe
and did you see the “battered” snizzle?
I saw her a few months back on C+D.
Don know he need to sit his ol’ arse down before he throws out his back, tryna whoop someone.
he look all frail and shyt, with his waistband around his chest…. c’lawd have mercy
with his waistband around his chest…. c’lawd have mercy
or pulled up to jerusalem like my tee tee says. lol.
i read that and couldn’t believe big Don is still putting his shoes on chicks. guess she f*cked up his scramble board.
e r
T u e r
k n
I
*is this what the scramble board was looking like?
RIP to the king of the woman beaters.
one lonely teardrop ‘YOU TRYINA HELP IKE!?’
you know the sad part of Ike’s legacy is that regardless of the Fact that Tina is still a fabulous entertainer at 69 and he had a musical career, his claim to fame was that he is a batterer. That is just sad
……………………….
Jealous knee grows make me think of Clifton Powell in just about every role he’s played. And I hate Clifton Powell.
I dated this guy once that went from cool to ridiculously jealous seemingly overnight. It lasted all of five weeks, and didn’t end well. Our conversations constantly went like this:
Him: Where you been? I called your cell 23 times and you didn’t pick up.
Me: Oh, really? Hmmm. Interesting.
Him: Are you just not getting home? What took you so long? It only takes 34 minutes for you to drive home from work.
Me: Well, I see you have a great sense of time, but you forgot to add the 18 minutes I spent letting [coworker] bend me over in the parking lot.
Him: [rage]
Me: [dialtone]
the exactness of minutes and number of calls is hilarious!
LMAO i love that conversation! Then you hang up on him on top of that? Classic! That must’ve been a crazy 5 weeks.
Yeah he was trying to beat that ssa n not in a good way
Well, I see you have a great sense of time, but you forgot to add the 18 minutes I spent letting [coworker] bend me over in the parking lot.
i heart you. *glitter and gold stars*
Ok, there are WAY too many women on here claiming not to be jealous. Of the thousands of women I know, there are probably about 7 who aren’t jealous.
And don’t get it twisted, just because you don’t say anything directly doesn’t mean you aren’t jealous. There are a plethora of silent ways a chick can act jealous. As men we know em all…I would list them but I don’t want to inspire anyone…
The problem is that women (in general) are BAD DETECTIVES. Whenever they don’t have all the info they will imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen, then multiply it by 10, exponentiate it by 13, and sprinkle a bit of tragedy on top.
Even worse is sometimes when women actually DO have all the information, they don’t want to accept it.
Yeah I said it!
P.S. Ivy St is wildin’! lol.
“Ok, there are WAY too many women on here claiming not to be jealous.”
I have to agree with you on that one! I admit it..I’m jealous…only thing is that some women have self control and some don’t. There is no way that if you care about someone you won’t be at least semi greedy for their attention. Otherwise you’re probably not that into them to begin with. Again…this is only refering to what you FEEL not what you DO. What you do with that jealousy is a whole different story. Some of the crazies might go out and check up on their man or look through their stuff or whatever you crazies do. Others just sit back and hope that they’re just being silly and theres nothing to worry about, then just kick his a$$ to the curb if any of the inklings turn out to be true.
However you wanna look at it…there’s jealousy everywhere. Don’t deny it, stop taking it as an insult and just check your level of crazy.
Oh and regarding: “Even worse is sometimes when women actually DO have all the information, they don’t want to accept it.”
That’s just sad…seen it waaaaay too many times. But eventually they get dumped by the dude…then all of a sudden they’re “SHOCKED!” and finally they accept it. *smh*
so what you up to. I loves me some curly fries specially the battered ones. mmmmm
*cue that let me serve you up song*
“The problem is that women (in general) are BAD DETECTIVES. Whenever they don’t have all the info they will imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen, then multiply it by 10, exponentiate it by 13, and sprinkle a bit of tragedy on top.”
hialrious. and true. as many times as i’ve been guilty of this, it’s never been with an SO, only random dudes i’m quasi-dating = such a waste of time and energy. add to that the many jealous stalkers i’ve dealt with. it just leads to madness. and i am not a mad woman–so jealousy has no place in my life and i [now] work hard at keeping it at bay.
At what point is jealousy an issue? I can be quite jealous but chances are I won’t bring it up and so is my jealousy really a bad thing. If I do bring it up, at that point I’ve either simmered down or I just don’t care any more.
“At what point is jealousy an issue?”
for men, its the moment women start to act differently because of the jealousy.
for women, its the moment theyre conceived.
so champ, you honestly have never felt jealous? i’m not even saying one has to trip off of it. just the feeling, you never felt it at all? just wondering.
essentially, champ needs more people. i don’t buy it either. not acting on it is one thing…but never-ever feeling it…nah.
I feel jealous every Monday, when I don’t win the office Football Pool. Friday’s to when I never win the office dollar raffle.
Or does that just make me a hater?
essentially, champ needs more people.
basically. i know there has to be a time where he couldn’t see it coming down his eyes…
i didnt say ive never felt a tinge of jealousy and sh*t, just that i havent in the context of a relationship.
like i said upthread, if i’m with someone that means i trust them, and if i trust them theres no reason to get jealous about anything.
“i didnt say ive never felt a tinge of jealousy and sh*t, just that i havent in the context of a relationship.”
if not in a relationship, where? on the bball court cause dude can execute an ankle breaking crossover in his sleep?
i don’t know how i feel about this, i must consult with the council..
“on the bball court cause dude can execute an ankle breaking crossover in his sleep?”
Champ, *insert fall heard ’round the world here* PLEASE!! I’ll even deliver you some premium toast if you do. *puppy dog eyes*
“if not in a relationship, where? on the bball court cause dude can execute an ankle breaking crossover in his sleep?”
ummm, yeah.
like i said before, i’ve definitely been jealous before, but just not with a chick deemed “my” chick.
and to answer this…
“If you are that deep into a person and the phone rings at some inordinate time of night . . . you don’t get a quick flash of “who the fukk is that?” . . . not even acting on it or asking the question . . . you see the light come on (because its on vibrate if IM about to sleep) . . . not even a tinge?”
…being upset about this isn’t jealously. i mean, if someone calls her a 2 in the morn while she’s with me, at that point it doesnt matter if its her mom, her sister, or chad ocho cinco…i’m just pissed cause someone’s disturbing the champ’s lair.
“essentially, champ needs more people.
basically. i know there has to be a time where he couldn’t see it coming down his eyes…”
I feel you on this one here. . . If you are that deep into a person and the phone rings at some inordinate time of night . . . you don’t get a quick flash of “who the fukk is that?” . . . not even acting on it or asking the question . . . you see the light come on (because its on vibrate if IM about to sleep) . . . not even a tinge? That is impressive . . . either that or you didn’t care that much . . .
I wouldn’t come out my face and be like who the fukk is that?? but that phone WOULD receive a quick side eye . . . especially if shorty looks at it, doesn’t answer . . . and acts strange about it . . . im just sayin!
“At what point is jealousy an issue?”
for men, its the moment women start to act differently because of the jealousy.
for women, its the moment theyre conceived.”
boys go to jupiter to get more stupider.
girls go to college to get more knowledge.
*sticking out my tongue*
i’ve been trying to do some soul-searching in between getting some actual work done. and i honestly cannot remember a time where i exhibited jealous-induced behavior. sure, there have been plenty of times where i felt threatened by other girls or worried that my man might prove to not be mr. perfect and be unfaithful. even in those moments, i never went out of my way to question his whereabouts, check up on him constantly, or show up unexpectedly at his crib or some spot i knew he’d be at. never brought it up in conversation or started arguments… until i caught an SO in a series of lies–that’s when all hell broke loose and the yelling/fighting began. because my jealousy and suspicions were confirmed. and like CW mentioned upthread, even after all that and knowing the truth behind the lies, it took me awhile to leave him, tho i did eventually do so. i thought we could “work things out.”
i guess becuz of my experiences i don’t see the point in allowing jealous feelings to foster. i can’t honestly remember the last time i was jealous over a dude i was with. granted, i haven’t been in a committed, loving relationship in years. but i’m at peace with my insecurities and what i have no control over. so i feel i’m better equipped to deal with situations that might cause jealousy to rear its ugly, unfortunate head. some ish i have learned to just let go–and feeling threatened on account of jealousy is one of them.
i guess we’ll see how i do in my next relationship, when it gets here.*looks at watch* any time now…
I got more important things to be jealous about, such as:
*When a store has a pair of FABULOUS heels I want and my size is gone
*When someone says they are currently maxing a bomb *ss plate of jollof rice and they are not sharing
*Seeing someone with a big booty (Sigh. Why couldn’t it had been me?? Oh yes, because I’d be a fool if I had one. Wrote bout that yesterday on my blog)
Umm… yeah so THESE are the important things that gimme green eyes
….and vegetables
*singing* myyyyyy eyes arrrrrre green…cause i eat a lot of vegetables…it don’t have nothing to do with your new frienddddd!
“When a store has a pair of FABULOUS heels I want and my size is gone”
***nodding in agreement***
or how about when a designer does not make shoes in your size, and you see someone wearing the shoes you want and you hope the heel gets stuck in a crack on the sidewalks and breaks… I hate em!
I get called jealous but it doesn’t make sence to me. I love hard. And if anyone wants to put in on lovin my woman short of giving her the chilli dog or taco tasting, I’m w/it (and don’t even think of grabbing the juggies, I’ll hit you w/ a jai alai ball in the balls). Odd long story;
I was w/ this chick now when I met her she was still bumpin uglies and going out even on vacations w/ her x that ended some 4 yrs ago. He refused to mary her (stonchly opposed to religion). So I’m all up ons w/ her we get serious. We on vacation one time. She says she needs some alone time we just ate lunch w/ drinks (she’s a smoker I’m not). I say what ever and go burn a stogie and check the map for next destination. I get this txt come to the balcony w/ me 911. I gets over there and this cat is tryin to chat her up. She was all he was just being friendly not to me he sly birded me (you know when someone scratches their eyebrow w/ the middle finger). I’m all what ever. Things keep floating along. I’m having my 30th b-day weekend I also need a t-b test to 4 a new job I needed her to help fill out the paper work @ least the preliminary parts cuz I’m like a race hoarse on pcp w/ bouie like back teeth. I get back and she done put down her all time fav bf as my emergency contact. (in her defense we were in the city that he moved to that split them up 10 yrs ago and he has the same name as my big bro [she had recently reconnected via an online find your friends networking site]) I still brush it off. Later said year she has a weekend planned to be w/ her sorority sisters in his town which happens to be her gf’s town too. Now when she first found ole boy it didn’t make sense to me that there was a great 10 yr reunion. Then she shares a tidbit of info regarding her mother who b4 marrying her father took a trip to meet up w/ her old college bf to see if she was making the right decision reguarding my gf’s dad. Apparently the visit did no good which is all her mom has to say about her dad (everybody has seen the bitter divorced couple). She says she wants to repeat said act. I’m like cool take me w/U. She say okay. Well I guess her fingers were crossed cuz she comes back w/ pics of him and her and her girls. This cat shows up w/o family in tow to an old navy to say hi. Meanwhile she is raving about how insecure I am regarding this. And as far as she and her people can deduce they call me insecure. Oh yeah I confronted her when the pics came out she said she didn’t know why I wanted to be there so she went n e way. I was on some let me make a new friend cuz she swears all of her old bfs would get along famously should the ever meet or @ least let me share in your moment of closure. Instead of letting this one go I let her go and hit the bricks.
moral of the story men feel disrespected women feel jealous. n she pushed that envelope when she told me she agreed to take me b4 I couldn’t go ‘to shut me up about it.’
I didn’t read this post. Half b/c its so long and daunting, and half because there are no paragraphs. Just one long rant. I cant.
And yes. I took an extra ‘hating’ pill today.
But for real. This ish is a TOME
“This ish is a TOME”
______________________
I get called jealous but it doesn’t make sence to me. I love hard. And if anyone wants to put in on lovin my woman short of giving her the chilli dog or taco tasting, I’m w/it (and don’t even think of grabbing the juggies, I’ll hit you w/ a jai alai ball in the balls). Odd long story;
………………………………
*paging 8th Wonder for complementary vsb translation services.
don’t worry one day I’m gonna get you too overit. I declare puns kill me. I’m high yignuh! Got that itis from a indian food buffet.
so, shouldnt you be sleeping?
and waste this great buz cluck no
Its all in good fun High. Holla when it wears off.
8th….get on yo’ job….lol
Sorry guys this one is gonna have to stay broke. Yeah I think ocho pan done left me. She found out what was really up w/ the cinamon toast.
Ocho Pan will never leave you
as long as I keep getting paid to translate.Joy. Hey Ocho want some http://www.saveur.com/article/Food/Cornflake-Crusted-Brioche-French-Toast
I’d marry the man that made that for me.
Girl you aint even ready cuz I got the baking w/ julia cook book. I’d do the bread from scratch yignuh. But first lets get this money. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WMTfNJSI8A
‘*paging 8th Wonder for complementary vsb translation services.”
And who the hell said it was complimentary?
YEAH! SUCKAH!
And who the hell said it was complimentary?
I believe it was Intellectual Hedonist.
believe what you want. I don’t play with other people’s money. I do not recall stating that 8th’s services were complimentary. Someone may prove me wrong but I’m sticking with Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on this one. “I do not recall Senator”
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/quicklove/#comments
please refer to comment 6
Oh Mah Gawd! I’m gettin misty eyed oh shyt it’s burnin shorty. Faulkin curry was on my finger when I wiped my eye.
“I get called jealous but it doesn’t make sence to me. I love hard. And if anyone wants to put in on lovin my woman short of giving her the chilli dog or taco tasting, I’m w/it (and don’t even think of grabbing the juggies, I’ll hit you w/ a jai alai ball in the balls).”
*Translation*
High doesnt understand why anyone would think he’s a jealous guy (shout out to Mason Betha), and encourages dudes to show his woman love. However, if anyone propositions high’s woman with percy the penetrator, or hurricane tounge harry, there’s gonna be some smoke in the city and furniture movin round this bytch.
Oh, and don’t touch the boobs, either.
Signifying in the corner Monkey. lol
Ok I just tried to read but the lack of any syntax or coherent prose just bout crossed my eyes. Plus, TypoCop pulled out the red pen and its all outta ink now.
Lol I keed (you not)!
Thank you come again!)
you should have used the other alias I gave you to use
and I totally agree with you on “men feel disrespected women feel jealous.”
I got to use nicknames that are like close to real life nicknames I have had. And ty for the afirming agreeance
Eff the typo cop, we need the syntax SWAT and a battering ram for this comment….
Why does your comment remind me of a 70s prono. Somebody call for the battering ram stat *whearing helmet cover(cuase it protects & serves)
And ANOTHER thing… I don’t see not ONE comma in this diatribe. Why must you slaughter the laws of the King’s English so???
I take personal affront to this.
Luvvie, clearly he is using the Kang’s english.
I move that from this point forward this author submit his comments to the VSB secretary for official transcription to enter into the official record hereto forthwith
“Nouns are outta control, verbs are outta control… this whole dam(n) party is outta control”
This made me cackle, snort, and chortle!! Alise, you tryna get me unemployed!
LOL!
Here have a bite of this dirty snowball doughnut. You know voodoo doughnut used to make a sycerp doughnut
Hey if you read it in it’s entirety there are enough pronoun refernces to make your brain think that your doing acid. lol
LMAO
Okay, there is nothing about this post that I didn’t understand. Basically, all he’s saying is that he was dating a girl that was still a little too chummy with her ex to the point of disrespecting
WuHigh, yet she didn’t understand him feeling direspected (though he had every right to feel that way). Instead of trying to understand and acknowledge, and most importantly, CORRECT her wrong doing, she accused him of being insecure. Therefore, he broke up with her.That’s all, folks!
“Basically, all he’s saying”
you said in about 80 words.
Hey she’s a profechional. And she was too chummy w/ a couple of the exes and random walking by dudes. I was all like there was a reason yall broke up shyyyyt.
The true breakfast of champions n e one of these http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.php and chicken fried bacon w/ country gravy
“Arnold Palmer
(cake doughnut covered with lemon and tea powder)”
Okay….this is just nasty…lol
I’ll have you know that The Memphis Mafia to die for
I stopped reading at bananas…lol
Actually they could replace it w/ apple for you and you would love it.
Isn’t that little too much action going on with the doughnut?
Nope it actually comes together like U-God the Rza The Gza Inspeactadeck ODB method man…….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’mma take ya word for it…lol
Marijuana (grass, pot, weed) is the common name for a crude drug made from the plant Cannabis sativa. The main mind-altering (psychoactive) ingredient in marijuana is THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), but more than 400 other chemicals also are in the plant. A marijuana “joint” (cigarette) is made from the dried particles of the plant. The amount of THC in the marijuana determines how strong its effects will be.
Panama how in the sam hades you gonna talk about the dust mc glitter?! Reminds me of 3rd grade arts n crafts. Like you broke the art teacher’s craft cart off for this post. *laughing*
Reminds me of the episode of the boondocks where that dude w/ the afro made a cameo. ahahaaha
“say, what is the weather like outside?”
munchies!
i need some green tea…
It’s in the mid 50s sorta windy in center city illadelph. Oh ever tried the greentea latte from starbucks mmmm.
you mentioning starbucks on here is going to get you banned by TANGLE JIG P, not that it would matter
So What another nickname you’ll love me in the morning. hahahaha just playin
don’t toy with me
You like rubber duckies?
even if you replace the u in duckies with an i the answer would be no…
ok
might be no
I think the people have ‘reasonable doubt’ on that no. People get you some. lol
I don’t think I’m a jealous person when it comes to relationships. What I do have a problem with is disrespectful females. They make my blood boil and I’m not one for words when the blood is boiling.
My ex had entirely too many female friends. I have no problem with them. I had a problem with the female friends who were only friends b/c they couldn’t be anything else. Also, I’m not the type to befriend all of your friends, for what??? I don’t care about them broads for real. I did however get to know a few and thats only b/c we already had mutual friends. Come to find out this chick was big time undermining the relationship with her “If I was your girl” this and that. Mind you, boyfriend never listened…but he is a lil dumb. He would make inappropriate jokes and I’m like are you serious. I joke with my female friends like that cuz it’s jokes and I’m not a lesbian. I don’t joke with my male friends like that, I have too much respect for myself, for them, and their relationships (if they are in one, whether it be serious or not).
You can call it jealousy or whatever, but I know the real. I know I’m not Halle Berry or Gabrielle Union but I also know that I’m not Rasputia out this piece. I am an attractive woman, I have a nice figure, southern raised(meaning I can cook like granny), I’m educated (grad school ain’t for everybody dang it!!), I’m employed, I have good credit(in today’s time that is highly important), I am good to the people in my life…be it friends, family or my man and all those other good adjectives used to define a “good” person.
But let’s not get it twisted, I’m vindictive and a patient person when it comes to getting my revenge. Don’t be disrespectful because this computer science degree does not go to waste at all.
Ro you is so fine
Thank you.
BTW High was my fav character in raisin arizona