Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

Pretty Girl Problems

That's it. I can't keep a man because I'm pretty.

This might sound sort of Tiiiimmmmy, but I actually feel bad for really pretty women sometimes. Sure, feeling bad for pretty women is like feeling bad for rich people. Drake. But you know, problems are problems, no matter how stupid.

And everybody’s got issues. Jet.

I can honestly say that I know a lot of really pretty women. I also know a lot of formerly pretty women, which has given me both a control and an experimental group for my observational delight. Yes, unknowing and unintentional subjects run rampant on the streets because much like the rain or reign, you cannot stop time. Yes, time keeps on slipping…into the future. Poignant.

Back to pretty women and their problems. Because they’re pretty, generally, nobody gives a f*ck about how hard they may have it. And pretty chicks have it plenty hard. For instance, you know how busted chicks get hollered at by homeless men that owe the dentist teeth and generally unambitious, lazy drug dealers and former Bad Boy artists? Well pretty women have to deal with all those same ninjas PLUS all the rest of the men that have nothing to lose by hollering at a chick whose sole value seems to be her looks.

Here are a few pretty girl problems.

1. Quality control

How are you supposed to find a good man when you literally have to sift through ALL men? I know all women seek attention. But of course, there’s usually an inverse relationship between how much attention you get and how much you might actually want. That has to be overwhelming. I see rather unattractive light skint women getting major sweats frequently. Poor hot chick, though. She has to deal with twelve times that attention. Of course, its better than the alternative. She could be Precious and have folks taking pictures of her at basketball games with captions like, “YO, PRECIOUS ACTUALLY HAS A MAN, Y’ALL. YOU GOTS TO SEE THIS SH*T”

2. Sworn Enemy of the Hater Association That Eats Raspberries Society

That acronym worked better in my head than on paper. Either way, pretty chicks have more haters than a little bit, and for doing nothing more than being born pretty. Sure a lot of pretty chicks have attitudes and make songs like “Pretty Girl Rock” where they talk about being cuter than anybody else. And yes, occasionally they deserve to have a cupcake thrown at them. But the truth is, all pretty chicks ain’t stuck up hussies. A lot are just pretty and want to be loved and liked by people from 8 to 80 from various socio-economic classes. But they can’t get that love. Because people hate on things that look better than them. Actually, this is mostly chicks.

3. Nobody wants them on Jeopardy

Jeopardy is the great brain equalizer. Busted women of the world have descended upon that stage and become somebody important for 30 minutes during the week. We value their brains and are impressed by their acumen. Place Tyra Banks on Jeopardy and we’re surprised that she can spell her name without adding a heart to it. And that’s sad. There are a lot of really smart pretty girls out there and nobody cares. Which is again, an odd problem to have. But its a problem nonetheless. If nobody ever valued me for my brain I’d probably get a chip on my shoulder too and want to always talk about deep sh*t like Black Holes and John Cougar Mellencamp. Poor pretty girls.

4. Esteem issues

It’s odd to think of pretty chicks having esteem issues, but it happens all the time. Seeing as a lot of pretty chicks rarely ever have to develop an actual personality, they almost devalue themselves by playing up on their attractiveness or not expecting anybody to expect much out of them. That creates an inner turmoil since, again, there is no personality or real person underneath all of that gooey goodness. A lot of pretty women struggle with identity issues and esteem issues because they’ve never had anybody take an interest in them outside of their looks. That’s sad. It’s kind of like watching those animals on the ASPCA commercials that just want a home. Next time you see a pretty chick, offer to adopt her. She just wants to come home like Diddy.

(Sidenote: My goodness, Jim Jones song “Perfect Day” might be the gayest song I’ve heard in a long time right after Nelly’s “Just a Dream”. My God man.)

Pretty ladies, I feel for you. You have problems too. All you want is somebody to love. And somebody to care about you as a person.

Pretty ladies, speak out, let me hear your plight.

And ladies, I think you’re all dimes.

On the real though, do pretty girls have it hard? Or is it all just blown smoke?

Do pretty girl problems matter when so many busted jawns need our help?

Talk to me, VSB. What it is?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.twitter.com/Alana_Shantell alana

    Back to my ol’ tricks…being first!

    • Litwit

      I totally agree with this post.
      Before you assume I’m this stuck up bi**h, here’s some back story on me: I’m one of those ugly duckling type girls. You know, in Highschool I wasn’t popular, I spent most of time writing poetry alone with no friends, had braces and no style and was on debate team for god sakes!
      Beauty just sort of happened to me thanks to the positivity and confidence my husband gave me. ( true beauty does really come from the inside!)

      But honestly, now that I’m gorgeous (not conceited, but I am constantly offered modeling positions, told I’m beautiful… All that jazz so just stating a fact ) life is a pain!

      1.I no longer can make girlfriends even if I don’t wear make up, or do talk about ‘real world’ issues. Doesn’t matter how nice I am, how outgoing or funny I try to be. I just get the dirty looks and ditched.

      2.I do have to worry about being ‘attacked’ no matter what I’m wearing or who I’m with. Men annoyingly gawk as if I’m some specimen, and there have been numerous times I knew I would have been raped had my husband not been there to stop it.

      3. Everyone assumes I’m unintelligent or personalityless. And if I do an extraordinary act like fix their faucet or present my novel, they’re still so astounded I can spell or that I knew what a faucet was to realize I just proved that I’m capable!!

      So yeah, all you “average” looking people out there, please quit judging a book by its cover. Most of us just want friends or love, just as the author states, no matter what YOU look like.

      • Joe

        You’re right, most of us want friends or love. Just know it’s infinitely harder to find love for an average looking person than a gorgeous person.

  • ac dubois

    this right here deaded me, goodnight!!!! –> “Of course, its better than the alternative. She could be Precious and have folks taking pictures of her at basketball games with captions like, “YO, PRECIOUS ACTUALLY HAS A MAN, Y’ALL. YOU GOTS TO SEE THIS SH*T”

    • Yoles

      lately all i’ve been hearing are things about chicks that think they are pretty but really aren’t, chicks that are treated like they are pretty but are really not, so how would one know the truth if men have been gassing chicks and driving the price of toto up and whatever else smart a$s sayings they have for…

      girl you think you pretty but you not!

      • http://www.kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

        Tell ‘em Yo!!!!! lol. I think the “under the assumption they are pretty but they’re not” chicks are only an issue if its fake confidence. I’ve known some really confident 6,7,8′s that ended up being treated like 9,10′s because they were truly confident. A symptom of fake confidence is a stank attitude.

        • Honey

          nice distinction between real confidence and fake confidence…i never thought about it but that’s real talk.

        • LSQ

          “a symptom of fake confidence is a stank attitude”

          blam. preach on! (i am taking notes)

          • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

            @LSQ you crack me up :)

            @Honey, you can always, ALWAYS tell the fake confidence. it’s like they try to overcompensate by throwing shade or something.

      • TiffanyValentineRay

        If you want to know whether or not your are pretty think about how often you have to deal with number 2 on this list.

        Then you’ll know.

        • Kema

          I dont think that is just a symptom of pretty though. It can be body parts.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i’m not fully sure what you’re talking about but i think it works like anything else. if you run around telling people how hot you are, you place yourself in the way of more direct scrutiny. smart people don’t tell you they’re smart. they just iz. attractive people dont have to let you know, we all see. that’s the issue i think. when folks getting to running their yaps about how they’re this and that you tend to find the reasons that they’re not.

        it works with dudes. if a guy tells you how much of a catch he is, your natural inclination is to let him know why its not.

        nobody likes the big head.

        there’s a potenial false postive double entendre in that last sentence.

        • Girl Kanyeshrug

          In general the pretty girls don’t go around saying it or even thinking it for the most part. They keep being aware of it because people keep telling them or staring…

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            Exactly. Who wakes up in the a.m. thinking “Thank GOD I’m pretty” or even tells others that they are pretty. I don’t know any attractive person who has even uttered the words unless defending themself from someone calling them ugly. lol I think people are careful not to do this because they don’t want to seem conceited. If anything, I know alot of pretty women who claim not to be pretty and say they’re nerdy, etc

            The people that I do see saying they’re pretty usually have facebook names like “PrettyGirlMimi” and are busted or look like p0rn stars. lolol.

            • Yoles

              thx all

              hahahaha @ SFG

            • V Renee

              Not true. I wake up in the morning and sing “I feel pretty. Oh so pretty”.

              LMAO!

            • Caballeroso

              “Who wakes up in the a.m. thinking “Thank GOD I’m pretty” or even tells others that they are pretty.”

              I’ve got a cousin who will tell anyone who will listen about how pretty she is. The problem is, she ain’t.

              “…and are busted or look like p0rn stars.”

              I’ve seen some very pretty p0rn stars….jus sayin’. :)

            • j.ivy

              ummmm, AKAs…

              • Medium Meech

                You are so wrong for that. Yet so right.

            • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

              @V
              LOL!!

              @Cab
              True! I stand corrected. lol

            • Yonnie 3000

              Exactly. Who wakes up in the a.m. thinking “Thank GOD I’m pretty” or even tells others that they are pretty.

              Keri Hilson?

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          “smart people don’t tell you they’re smart. they just iz. attractive people dont have to let you know, we all see. that’s the issue i think. when folks getting to running their yaps about how they’re this and that you tend to find the reasons that they’re not. ”

          AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O!

          *clicks heels*

          • DQ

            *Wonders out loud if Cheekie clicking her heels makes her booty clap?*
            *Decides that’s a topic for another time and moves on*
            *Refuses to be serious today*

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              *DEAD*

              I luh you.

              • DQ

                It’s mutual :)

        • Hawaii

          “it works with dudes. if a guy tells you how much of a catch he is, your natural inclination is to let him know why its not.”

          Ooh! I know a particular guy that needs to know this. I’ma gladly let him know :D

        • Sarah

          You don’t have to tell anyone when you’re pretty. They pretty much see it for themselves. Furthermore, you don’t have to have a big head for men and women to want to be around beauty. This is a scientific fact, even babies are attracted to pretty faces.

          I was specifically raised to not focus on beauty, my Dad having my sister and I read the bible Proverbs 31:30 too many times to mention (probably daily) in his mission to ensure we understood exactly how beauty was to be viewed. It worked! I developed a personality, brains and character and realized that beauty should not be the definition of who I am as a woman.
          Nonetheless, I have had too many want to define me by this measure. Myriads of people, men and women can never define you by anything other than how you look. It takes a certain strength of character to not be affected by the ignorance.

          Please don’t attribute all the issues on the pretty woman. It’s hard to be seen as a human being instead of a beautiful piece of whatever expectation any individual wants of you. Usually men a show piece for their arm and women want to be around the attention you draw in hopes of heightening their chance of meeting men. It can be rather sickening, you do have to constantly be on the lookout for others intentions. But for the training of my father, I may have gotten caught up in the hoopla.

          In the end, I happy for the blessing and leave everyone else’s issues to them!

        • A Smart Down to Mars Pretty Woman

          Panama, that first paragraph & last line killed it. Can we go out for drinks one evening?
          A Smart down to Mars pretty woman

    • Girl Kanyeshrug

      Everybody keeps calling her Precious…. :(
      They wouldn’t even let her have a boyfriend on “The C word” – why is everybody surprised that she has one in real life????

    • Deeds

      Im upset she’s become the universal symbol for an unattractive woman.

      • LSQ

        I am upset because some people think its ok to be that out-of-shape. I hope she lives past 40.

        • WIP

          Ya know, I don’t think most overweight people think it’s “OK” to be out of shape. From my observation- people don’t generally overeat to the point of obesity because they feel great. I think there has simply a general acknowledgement that not hating oneself is the key to feeling better and thus making better decision about one’s life.

        • WayUPThere

          But from first sight, Gabby Sidibe (sp?) looks as if she may be entering the danger zone in terms of being obese, where numerous health complications arise. I think this is where LSQ is coming from with the comment

      • Girl Kanyeshrug

        She’s not unattractive..just bigger

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i think she gets used (as i did) just for effect. my point wasn’t even that she’s busted. it was that i’d hate to be the kind of person who gets attention b/c i actually was able to get somebody to like me.

        though, its kind of like soulja boy being everything that’s wrong with hiphop. its not true at all, but his name gets bandied about as such anyway. easy targets, but people do well with pop culture references b/c everybody knows them. nobody knows how busted michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball at the park is b/c nobody except those ninjas know her. when i say precious, everybody conjures up an image.

        i do think its nice you all dont want folks thinking of her as busted. that’s sweet.

        • Aisha

          “michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball in the park”…hahaha, now i must listen to the fugees

        • Sula

          nobody knows how busted michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball at the park is b/c nobody except those ninjas know her.

          but is the OTHER michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball in the park busted though? You know the cousin or something?

          :lol:

      • Pe.Riche.

        I agree with you. It’s really unfortunate that her looks are always used to signify unattractiveness. I don’t think people realize how deep of an issue this is.

  • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

    There has to be a sub-category under HATERS. On these innanets, certain types of men do all they can to tear down the idea of pretty women. There might not be a oe chick with a pretty avatar commenting but the men will be sure to throw out a jab at the idea of pretty women. And not-so-pretty women jump on the bandwagon. At the heart of it, the men hate (really hate, not in the hip-hop way) because every adult pretty woman is a surrogate for the girls in HS they couldn’t date. Never mind that the guys never asked those pretty girls in HS.

    The other thing you forgot is the ‘Put Her In Her Place’ technique. When Evelyn and Chad met the first time, he essentially told her she was good but he could make her better. This is how men try to chip away at the self-worth of pretty women–or women they think are above them.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

      *strokes chin* This makes sense.

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        You see it in the comments about how unrealistic pretty women are in their demands. I sit back and wonder if all those men who are writing that stuff have ever HAD a pretty woman. Have they ever had a conversation with several of them or tried to cultivate a friendship. Probably not.

        Another thing people don’t seem to get is that a lot of pretty women do not demand things from men. Those men do ‘extra’ because they know the competition is serious for her affections. They figure they have to come out of the gate offering foreign travel and stuff.

        When a pretty woman accepts something nice from a man, the assumption is that she’s fugging him because 1) ugly women often can’t imagine that a pretty woman has a personality and it is the personality that the man is vacationing with–her looks are the cherry on top 2) they’ve never had a man offer them anything without it being implied that she’s expected to give him favors in return.

        Finally, pretty women aren’t allowed to ever complain. Too much attention from men (and women)? Shut up and be thankful. Special perks at work cus the VP hopes to get a chance? Shut up and be thankful.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          sounds personal. lol. i love you flaws and all though.

          • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

            I hate you all day everyday!

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              see. flaw.

    • Honey.

      When I saw that nonsense with Evelyn && Chad, I was soooo confused! What else does she really need from him? Now she walking around looking all boney!

      • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

        Yeah he came at her like “I’ll upgrade you” but at the same time flew her a*z out there (which is probably a drop in the bucket for him, but still).

        Back-handed compliments or to bait the woman into proving his assumptions wrong or wanting him to want her since some (men and women) are intrigued by a challenge.

        • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

          *disclaimer

          My second part was a departure from the Evelyn example since she wants a ball player period and wants that life. She wanted him to want her before he said “he could make her better”. She flew out there crossing her fingers, wearing a rabbits foot, holding a 4 leaf clover, and throwing salt over her shoulder.

          • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

            preach!

          • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

            I think Ev is savvy enough to have peeped what he was doing, made mental note, and kept her eyes on the prize. Most women can’t do that. Particularly young pretty women or women who aren’t pretty sans additions (the right clothes, hair, etc.). Men can play this upgrade game with them all day long because they didn’t grow up pretty.

      • Jane Doe (formerly known as Honey)

        jesus, this is the second time! lol i relinquish the name Honey…keep it girl :)

        • Caballeroso

          An avatar would provide more distinction….just sayin. :)

          gravatar.com

          • Mary Jane (formerly known as Jane Doe/Honey)

            lol i’ll make a cartoon one or something when i get some time. i know too many people who read this blog…i like being anonymous (read uncensored) for now

            • Medium Meech

              We should designate a timer where everyone makes their actual photo (no glamor shots) their avatar for an hour.

              • Yoles

                lol@ no glamor shots
                so i can’t change mine to the one with the feather boa, the cloudy pastel colored background and me posed…. just so?? MM ur a hater!!!!!!!!

                • Medium Meech

                  Fine, people with pics of their FACES get to use glamor shots.

                • keisha brown

                  im stickin with my poppin my lip gloss.

    • DQ

      Men are the engine that makes that “Hate Train” go? Really? And Not so pretty women are just hitching a ride?

      This is a revelation to me.

      • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

        The same can be said of men. Women will say a guy is too “pretty”, “prettier than they are” or not rugged enough and the less attractive men will jump on that train too and accuse a guy of being a pretty mutha, less masculine and/or a b!@ch because he is attractive. It’s wrong, but both sides of the aisle have done it.

        • TWIsM81

          Amen. If I get asked if I’m a Kappa one mo’ time…. Now if you could talk to some of my friend-girls and explain why [some] men do not take the word pretty as a compliment, I’d be kinda happy with that. My womanese must not be as good, ’cause it doesn’t seem to register when I tell ‘em.

      • Rogman

        Yea, I am a tad bemused by this one

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        Men appear to be on the internet. These aren’t men who would openly hate on any pretty women in real life. Also, when they do it on the net, they don’t even direct it to one pretty woman. They are attacking the idea of the pretty woman and ugly chicks jump on board. How many times have I read that pretty woman can’t fug, cook, clean, or nurse babies? That’s absolute bs. There are more ugly women who can’t do those things than pretty women because, well, there just are more ugly women on Earth. If there wasn’t there wouldn’t be such a big stink about who is pretty and who cam breed with pretty.

        • V Renee

          There are more ugly women who can’t do those things than pretty women because, well, there just are more ugly women on Earth. .

          *snickering*

      • Jane Doe (formerly known as Honey)

        yeah, a man “hating” on a beautiful woman is really just running game. it only works on the insecure ones, though.

    • http://www.kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

      That’s so true! I read this book, “The Game” about how guys try to do a ‘negative compliment’ to bait beautiful women….(it works on Diva Dudes surprisingly well). Don’t judge me cuz I read that book either, it’s interesting to see what guys (or people in general) will or have to do to get the puss (or attention).

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        Actually NE, “Negs” DO NOT WORK on Men, and this has been documented in-field in a number of ways; among them, by a group of Women attempting to apply Game in a night out on the town in San Fran (the article is easily accessible on the Web) and in another instance I can think of off the top of my head, a Feminist type attempting to apply Game. The reason as to why it doesn’t work on Males is simple: evolutionary psychology and the inherent differences between Men and Women.

        As for “Diva Dudes” – as I always say, Obsidian Maxim # 21: Vince Vaughn with tight Game beats Brad Pitt with none, every single time. “Pretty boys” are similiar to their Female counterparts in that they too have traded on their looks for most of their life. The big problem though, is that this isn’t as big a problem for Women because of the way Men are wired – Men do not have the need for Women to be socially dominant. Women, on the other hand, DO need this in their Men, and which is why a really good looking guy can and WILL strikeout in a big way if he doesn’t have psychosocial dominance and display that in a multitude of ways. All “leading man looks” can do for a guy is get him an “audition”; after that, he’s gotta have and bring the goods, or it’s a Big Fat Fail.

        Oh, and let commend you on actually reading The Game! Most Women who try to discuss these matters usually have no idea whatsoever as to what they’re talking about. I tip my Kangol to you. :)

        O.

      • CAsweetface

        Yep, never read the book but I know guys that give 2 compliments and 1 “slight” negative when they first meet a woman. Essentially that negative throws off the “pretty woman” so much that when she picks herself off of her high horse she’s got to figure out how to fix that said negative that Mr. Random just planted in her brain. He becomes intriguing whether he looks like J.J. Walker or Boris Kodjoe. Its silly, hilarious and I’d bet works a lot of the time. These menses boy…creating monsters!

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        Girl yes. I’m not all that, never said I was all that and of course there is ALWAYS prettier but I meet some men who try to “humble” me by picking at my looks. Even the males in my family do this. “Oh shut yo big head @ss up, big forehead, little pinky toe having, one eye bigger than the other, etc GIRL”…like really? Or they’ll purposely not compliment you or say some side ways insult like “You iight”. o_O I’m no Beyonce, Halle, etc so leave me da fcuk alone. It’s like we’re up for critique or something.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          “Oh shut yo big head @ss up, big forehead, little pinky toe having, one eye bigger than the other, etc GIRL”…

          so in person you’re like a one eyed one armed flying purple people eater?

          • Girl Kanyeshrug

            Wow you remember purple people eaters? From the awful movie or from “brother in the land’?

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              from smoking too much grass, man.

              • Girl Kanyeshrug

                LOL!!!!!!!!! (I just sputtered)

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            Yep. :)

        • CAsweetface

          OMG Yes girl, this happens to me a lot and specifically lately. Let’s see, on Friday this guy that I barely know said I was a 9 in 1/4 and could get me to full 10 status with his help. Sir, stop watching Basketball Wives and getting ideas from OchoCinco’s rotten a$$ lines to Evelyn. Then I’ve heard “you aight, you cool, whatchu doing tomorrow?” Um, wow ok…insults might work on simple “pretty chicks” but not fly, an abundance of commonsense having, intelligent ones, boy bye…But what I love about these critiques some men are giving is that they themselves find it appropriate to point out a woman’s flaws looking something the cat dragged in. Last time i checked a huge barrell gut and a pea head was not the move so stop critiquing chicks! Lol…gosh…

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            Oh yes! It’s always the oogly ones trying to rank women. icant.

    • WIP

      Yes, I was watching “Nip/Tuck” and dude on there was a plastic surgeon and he killed that trick. He would get the most beautiful women, and when they found out he was a plastic surgeon they would ask his opinion (because they were actually pretty insecure). He would start marking them and identify like 100 things he could fix. A lil’ while after that he’d be hitting it.

    • littlemissgradschool

      At first I wasn’t going to comment on this post, until I saw your comment. It hits home. “…every adult pretty woman is a surrogate for the girls in HS they couldn’t date. ” I have been told by 2 exes exactly that. It was worded like, “you were the unattainable girl in HS for me/you’re the cheerleader and I’m the weird outcast…”, but it all says the same. It’s funny that VSB wrote this post because just the other day I was thinking about how pretty women do have it difficult. We do have to sift through the men who are only interested in the idea of us as opposed to the real thing, the men who seek to “conquer” us, the men who do not take us seriously (more on this in a second), on top of the standards we’ve set for ourselves.

      What’s worse than being a pretty girl? Being a pretty girl with a bubbly personality. Like me. That screams, “AIRHEAD!!!!” It’s quite unfortunate, and I notice it every time I see the looks of amazement when I say something “smart”. It’s like we’re dolls that should be seen and not heard, but when we talk…we get the reaction that Andy would’ve had had he walked in while Buzz and Woody were still alive, or EVERY reaction in “Legally Blonde” (one of my favorite movies, watching the movie, you’ll see every “pretty girl problem”). As my name states, I am in GRADUATE school, and I’m entering a PhD program Fall 2012. I’m effing brilliant (Oh, another thing, as pretty women we can’t praise ourselves because it comes off as “arrogant” smh).

      Also,
      pretty+friendly=flirty (EVERY TIME AND I HATE THAT SHT) *clears throat* Pardon my french
      We aren’t allowed to like anything else besides fashion and entertainment. Note, I’m not a fashionista, and while I do like entertainment, I’m one of the biggest nerds I know. I love learning. If I could be in school for the rest of my life, I probably would. That’s actually why I want to be a professor well, one of the reasons.

      I could go on but I have things to do and so do you. I’ll end with this. Throughout my life, I had to learn valuable lessons. “Don’t care what the world has to say, stop living up to the expectations of everyone else,” and the most important would be, “stop letting people make you rely on your pretty. You are so much more than a pretty face.” I have so much to offer the world, and being easy on the eye is just the cherry on top of a fantastic sundae that is, me!

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        <3

      • LSQ

        “I’m effing brilliant (Oh, another thing, as pretty women we can’t praise ourselves because it comes off as “arrogant” smh).”

        you forgot to mention how modest and humble you are

        • littlemissgradschool

          “you forgot to mention how modest and humble you are”

          In this post, no I don’t come off as modest or humble because I’m venting. No one is modest or humble while venting. :)

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        Based on you saying you’re still in school, I have some bad news to give you. I’m in my mid-30′s. I’m pretty–not just because anyone told me but also because I can operate a mirror. When I was your age (mid-20′s, I think), I thought the treatment would get better. I thought people would mature and judge on content of character. Sadly, it only gets worse. If you age well and are still pretty, the pretty girl tax only increases. You will get jobs where, after you’ve been working a while there, someone will get drunk and tell you and everyone who can hear, that you were hired because you’re hot. You will show up in meetings with every ‘T’ crossed and every ‘I’ dotted. People will tell you how impressed they are that you can read. This is even after you’re a supervisor/director/VP. You will have to make yourself be extra nice to neutralize people. You’ll have to always be careful about what you share with people who hate the idea of you. Share too much, they’ll use it against you. Share too little, they’ll make it up. You’ll have so-called friends do you super dirty on a passive-aggressive level. Not because they hate you personally, but because they hate what you represent. All the while, you’re not supposed to complain.

        The upside is that as you get older, if you can’t now, you will be able to walk in a room, scan it, and immediately assess the reaction of every single person in the room and make adjustments quickly and accordingly.

        • littlemissgradschool

          *grabs notepad and starts taking notes*

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          well who brought the Good News Bear? somebody get her some f*cking honey.

          • WIP

            LMAO!

        • LSQ

          yea but.
          that stuff _still_ applies to non-pretty people.
          none of what you said happens because you are viewed as pretty.
          I don’t deny that it is your experience, but you’ll need to do draw me a better picture that shows its due to your looks. EVERYONE must walk in the room and make adjustments, no one can share too much/little, and people will insult ANYONE.
          work is war – and in the fog of it we may blame it on our looks, our intelligence, our skin color, ethnicity, etc. – but it ain’t none of that – its just the mess that is.
          I think we call it …. hmmmm.. the human condition.

          • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

            Other people get the benefit of the doubt more than an attractive person. The negatives happen more to pretty people. But we aren’t allowed to acknowledge it–ever. Even after we hear, “Oh she thinks she’s cute…”

            • LSQ

              I am absolutely positive that people get treated differently because they are cute.
              What I am saying is, can we really prove/show that your experiences are due only to your beauty?
              It can tempting to blame our workplace/relationship ills on something we cannot control, vice something that _is_ in our control, and the situations you present _may_ or _may not_ be due solely to your beauty.

              • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

                I’ve had it said to me. I have a disarming nature, once I start talking to people. they just come right out and tell me they thought X, Y, Z when they first saw me, met me. I probe, trying to come off as non-judgmental as possible. Invariably, I get, “You look like…” And if for some reason they saw my car prior to getting to know me, they know what school I went to and what sorority I pledged.

                The only thing I can compare it to is when a Black man walks into an office building, rides a train (without a suit on) etc. People make certain negative judgments about these men. It’s hard for a Black man to get a cab. For decades, people pish-poshed the real cab struggle. But study after study shows it’s real.

                • LSQ

                  having someone say it…. that’s rough. Feel for you being around such shallow prejudicial folk. My suggestion, try to limit your exposure to that crap and spend time with folk not so focus on the 1) temporary 2) superficial parts of life. Just don’t assume that what they do/say are anything but normal – dat sh*t is bat crazy. Regular folk don’t think that way.

            • Mary Jane (formerly known as Jane Doe/Honey)

              exactly. if you’re good-looking, male or female i think, you’re always being watched. and people care about what you do way more than they should. it’s like all your words and actions are taken personally. and i’m not complaining (cuz i’m not supposed to lol) because it’s just something you have to acknowledge and live with. it’s life. and there are worse problems to have.

        • Beremore

          Wow this…”You’ll have so-called friends do you super dirty on a passive-aggressive level. Not because they hate you personally, but because they hate what you represent.”… one too many times…

        • Pe.Riche.

          “You will have to make yourself be extra nice to neutralize people. You’ll have to always be careful about what you share with people who hate the idea of you.”

          So far I have found this to be the best method to use. Especially when I am around women (be it in a professional setting, or relaxed social interactions), I try to compliment them to help take some of that “edge” off by noting her shoes, hair, or any other mundane object just to prove “Hey, I’m not a threat, and I don’t want any trouble!”. I also use this when meeting their husbands/boyfriends/significant others. I find that I have to take the initiative and, like you said, neutralize other people to let them know that I am about business rather than asinine, petty things.

        • Blacktina

          “you will be able to walk in a room, scan it, and immediately assess the reaction of every single person in the room and make adjustments quickly and accordingly”

          As in, when u open ur mouth, the men know ur not ditzy (assuming ur not) and the women know ur not gonna take their man and ur not stuck up (again…assuming ur not).

      • http://www.istilljustdontgetit.wordpress.com C.D.

        Okay, I know I’m super late, but I had to comment on this. Have you also ever noticed dating is difficult? It’s like the the men who are interested in an intelligent, deep, cultured woman, looks at you with annoyance and dismisses you as ditzy. But the guy who looks at you and wants you because you’re pretty, is quickly turned off when he realizes you actually have a brain, that you you regularly use no less!

        I’ve had guys pine and swoon over me, only to take me out on a date and tell me “Hmm, you’re just different than I expected.” When I ask how so, I always get some disappointed response which alludes to the fact that I’m not nearly as ‘easy’ as they thought I’d be. I literally had a guy tell me to call him when the “fun girl” came back; oddly enough, the only place he’d ever interacted with me was at our gym!

        Talk about infuriating.

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      Ms. Smart!! I had to squeeze in and give to two daps and a chest bump. This comment is DA TRUTH!! If I had a dollar for every blog I’ve read throwing tons of shade at pretty women like: they’re bad in bad, they’re rude, they’re dumb, they’re hard to deal with…etc. When the same could be said for ugly women or ANY woman. It’s just insecurity. They’re scared they don’t have a chance so they stay away and hate from the sidelines.

      And if I had a dollar for every highschool/college mate that went out of their way to let me know that I was this or that in school and I lost out on the good thing, yada yada yada…usually accompanied by some Eddie Longesque bathroom muscle pic, etc I would be RICH. Men need to get over it and quit with the insecurities already.

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        This is one of the reasons I don’t use my face on my own blog, comments, or Twitter. Typically, I’d rather just speak from a blank faced place. But alas, in this post, I think my comments speak to where I am on the looks scale. *le sigh*

        Another thing P didn’t mention was the unsolicited FB shout outs! That shyt?! Those thirst free-range dudes are ridiculous.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          at least in this regard i can attest to the fact that you are definitely pretty in case anybody is wondering if you’re blowing smoke. lol. cuz you got a WHOLE lot to say.

          • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

            Aww thanks. I take back what I said up-thread about hating you. I luh you! I have a lot to say cus my work load is light today. I’ve made a decent amount of $ this weeks soooo I’m all over these innanets.

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          EVERYday I battle myself about taking my pic down. I think my comments would do better if I didn’t have my pic up. It leaves me open to more scrutiny and I know people will pick my looks apart in their head. I really should be faceless…it may be too late though but I’m considering it. lol

          • Yoles

            SFG
            keep your pic up!!! you are you and there is no need to hide, you disclosed your face already, don’t take it away… OWN it
            you’re pretty and you know it…

            • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

              Awwww, thanks Yoles. :) I don’t feel that bad now that alot of VSSs have their pics up. When I first started commenting on VSB, barely anyone had a pic. I think I was the only one actually.

              • Yoles

                SFG

                you’re a trend setter!!!!

      • Elle Boogie – a music PhD student

        Unrequited Eddie Longesque bathroom muscle pics might just be a sure sign and the alpha, omega, Creation and Apocalypse of this here issue.

    • Scipio Africanus

      “When Evelyn and Chad met the first time, he essentially told her she was good but he could make her better.”

      And the women love them for it. But don’t blame Chad, blame Evelyn’s need to have her drive to hypergamy satisfied.

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        Nobody’s blaming Chad so much as I’m pointing out this exchange as an example of what’s standard practice for a certain type of men when it comes to dealing with attractive women.

        • Girl Kanyeshrug

          I would have left right then…its the trend for how the rest of the realtionship will go…now she looks weird. Not gorgeous like before.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        I seriously think when Chad was saying he could make her look better, the 5759% gay-o-meter went off. Plus, he says “child please.”

        • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

          Yeah that kinda struck me as odd too!

        • Scipio Africanus

          I’ve alwasy interpreted the “chile please” thing as either an homage to Marla Gibbs, or Chad being purposefully ironic. Like, he’s playing with this super-black-femme expression to dare people to call him gay (which many do), then he in turn judges and laughs at teh people who think he’s gay because he says chile please. I take it as an intentional test to identify homophobes by a relatively intelligent guy.

          Now *why* he would bother wanting to do all that is beyond me.

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            Yeah, just reading that made me tired.

            But, that could be true. I vaguely remember him saying on his lovey-dovey VH1 show that his grandma used to say it. Which, yeah sure can… she’s an old black woman. Him? Not so much.

    • Medium Meech

      Bollocks. For the most part, men become cloying simps and are overly complementary towards pretty girls. Maybe you all are confusing “I’m not obese and have one other aesthetic that men find attractive” with pretty. No shade. Just that if Evelyn is your standard bearer, then you might be having “not as pretty as the way I project myself” girl problems, which are the ones Evelyn has.

      You know, “anything that is a slight about me must be hate, cause I am attractive no matter what anyone says” insecurity vs. “my looks have defined me my entire life and may be the only reason men are attracted to me” insecurity. Two whole different types of crazy. Evelyn has the former. You game her by validating her looks, you game the other by validating other parts of her personality.

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        Ha. You see what you did there? You offered two negative options. Also, we’re talking about two different things up-thread: 1) how men behave online where they can be virtually anonymous and 2) using the Ev/Chad example of a tactic used in real life. As for who judges who is attractive, Ev’s attractive to Chad. I gathered this by him seeking her out for ‘company’.

        • Medium Meech

          I focused in on insecurities cause we were talking about pretty girl PROBLEMS, just differentiating between the root of pretty girl problems and the root of the other group to support the point I was making.

          As for 1), point taken. I thought you believed that hate extended beyond the internet, but either way, I think men treat a pretty picture on the internet better than an ugly one. I am 99.9% certain of this. That’s just the way guys operate.

          As for point 2), that’s a pretty low standard for how pretty women get treated. By definition all problems women have with a members of the opposite sex are pretty girl problems, as long as the guy showed some interest.

        • DQ

          If they’re anonymous how do you know they’re men?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/DuallyConscious DuallyConscious

    There is a tendency for many women to hate women they see as too pretty. So it’s like “Man, eff that pretty biznitch” before they even have a chance to show u whether they are biznitch or not.

    And then u have to deal with things like men staring at *insert body part here* and not actually listening to the things you say. And when they do, are shocked to find substance.

    At the risk of having cupcakes thrown at me, I actually do find it tiring to have to tell so many men NO. Not that i don’t appreciate the attention. It’s just that you wish you could set parameters …. like can we at least eliminate the ones with missing teeth, Cassidy CDs, and student loans from University of Phoenix? I think that would help.

    NecoleBitchie had an article about why it’s so hard for Halle to keep a man. Poor thing. http://necolebitchie.com/2011/03/18/why-women-like-halle-berry-are-hard-to-date/

    • ChloeRayne516

      “NecoleBitchie had an article about why it’s so hard for Halle to keep a man. Poor thing.”

      I thought WE already knew the answer to this bases on my eccentric future hubby eric benet.. Halle is frigid between the sheets!!! Nuff said.

    • keisha brown

      nobody betta dare through a cupcake!! pj needs to learn how to eat em!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        thats why im throwing them. somebody get me a pound cake.

  • WeGottaDoBetter

    Have you seen this video floating around the internet that says
    “B* tches would rather be a Made Nukkas Smut, Than Be a Regular Nukkas Queen” – Joe Budden

    This definitely sounds like a pretty girl problem.

    • Kamala Jones

      Yeah, I just peeped that video. I do question where the cat is meeting these women but he did catch my attention when he said that it’s hard for a hardworking guy to get a good looking woman; just a hardworking, cool guy from the neighborhood.

      • WIP

        I’m sure when you seek out silly a$$ people, you will find them.

        • LSQ

          this. I’m gonna say it: we as men need to stop evaluating women on _just_ their looks. Its not something they earned (unless they are an aerobics instructor, etc). They momma and daddy gave them their looks. So the stupidity distribution amongst the population of “good looking women” is MUCH higher than the stupidity distribution amongst decent-wage-earning men.
          so men: we have to weed out those good-looking-but-stupid women from our crosshairs. 1st step: stop putting soooo much importance on “finding a good looking woman”, you could end up with a good-looking-dummass

          • Mary Jane (formerly known as Jane Doe/Honey)

            “They momma and daddy gave them their looks.”

            word. i always tell people, being beautiful isn’t an accomplishment (well, being naturally beautiful isn’t anyway). if anyone should be beating their chests about the way you look, it should be your parents for bringing their genes together to create you. you’ve GOT to be about something more than looks…in the grand scheme of things, looks don’t mean sh*t.

            and then, after i tell them that, they roll their eyes and say “easy for you to say, b*tch.” lol but i really mean that ish.

            • WIP

              I heard (I think on Golden Girls) that if you’re beautiful while you’re young it’s luck. When you’re old and beautiful it’s because you earned it.

              • Mary Jane (formerly known as Jane Doe/Honey)

                i like this :)

              • V Renee

                I think I like this too.

              • CAsweetface

                I LOVE THAT! I wonder if Sophia Petrillo said that. I loved those saucy geriatric ladies! They tickled my fancy from a child not understanding the jokes through today when i watch it at least twice a week. :)

                • WIP

                  I think Miles said it. (I watch too much Golden Girls.)

    • Yonnie 3000

      I saw that video and I think a “Regular Girl,” especially in NY, could make a video saying the exact same thing. Basically, 95% of the men are going after 5% of the women, and vice versa.

      But still though, Sit indian style and be happy cracked me up. Dude said he was gonna start rapping b/c being the funny dude wasn’t cutting it any more. He’s running out of jokes.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        Basically, 95% of the men are going after 5% of the women, and vice versa.

        that is why the relationship business is a billion dollar industry. despite the fact that this is common sense that everybody is familiar with, everything wants to believe they are in that 5 percent…or should be.

    • keisha brown

      i dont even know what the title means.
      *sings lost in the world in my kanye voice….

      • SheWhoMustbeObeyed

        I don’t know why but this made me LOL

  • http://Fatgrlatheart.com Fatgrlatheart

    Everybody has problems but pretty or not, dudes cheat, lie, and all that just the same.

    But people look at your singlehood like a disease. “how is it that a girl like you can’t find a man?”

    It’s just hard to find a match period. Yea we get hit on by a lot of losers but that’s not really an issue – not hard to say “no thanks I gotta man” and keep it moving. I’d prefer to say no than to never get asked. We like attention and when we can’t get it from the man we want, we don’t necessarily mind hearing that this loser from the block would give his left nut to be with us. Even if we are rolling our eyes when he’s trying to talk to us.

  • Bunny

    I agree with you.. Pretty women do have a big disadvantage; my cousin has this problem. They can’t find a man, and if they do, a lot of men are intimidated if other guys try and talk or they guys they get are weirdos; one guy on a date told her, “I can’t believe I am on a date w/ you right now.” Another guy told his mom about her and how they were seeing each other… they only had class together and sat rows away from each other. o.O

    • Bunny

      p.s. [this has nothing to do with the topic, but I figured since I was a smidge higher than usual, I might as well get my bid in.] I would like to know if you guys will/have done a post about women proposing to men… I would like to see how that’d pan out.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

      Yep. Some guys self-sabotage a good thing or are quick on the draw to be foul because they assume their role in the situation will end in them getting played. No. Actually they messed up a good situation with a pretty woman who was a good woman. It could be argued that it was a weak arse dude that needed to be bypassed anyway but, yeah….

    • tgtaggie

      I found out if you wanted to step to a pretty girl, you need to be very secure in yourself.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “one guy on a date told her, “I can’t believe I am on a date w/ you right now.” ”

      WOW. This is the sad, sad equivalent of “You intimidate me.” He’s pretty much giving ol’ girl carte blanche to be an a-hole… and I wouldn’t even blame her if she became one. lol

      • WayUPThere

        yeah i saw a guy run game with that line….on MTV of all places. He got the cutty later that night.

        It coulda just been his style of running game….

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Good point… I can definitely see that happening.

        • Honey

          Ahhhh, we both didn’t even look at it like that… good point indeed.
          He was a tad creepy with it, he had a stalkerish feel to it.

  • Roock

    finally, somebody understand my plight! lol. you forgot one important category under haiters: big girls. They develop such a strng hatred for pretty girls upon sight!

    and also the Eye Candy Syndrome is a big issue for pretty girls. All men want to have you/be seen with you but, soon they become possessive and paranoid when they realize other people want to have you/be with you… sigh

    it’s true that people assume you’re dumb also . I’ve found that I have to assert my knowledge at the beginning of conversations in order to be taken seriously

    • Yoles

      i’m a big girl that doesn’t waste any time at all hating on “pretty” girls does this imply that big girls can’t be pretty? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, lots of plus size princesses i know don’t have problem with slim chicks, pretty chicks, insert other positive attribute here ____ chicks, those above mentioned chicks have problems with us because we don’t all fit into the fat and ugly box that they want to put us in… every big girl isn’t ugly, shapeless, dateless, desperate or lonely…

      #canIlive

      • TheAnti-Cool

        Preach.

      • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

        Agreed @ Yoles. Plenty of sistah’s have no problems with pretty women, are pretty themselves, and have no problem giving another woman a genuine compliment either.

        I see Big Gurls in real life win ALL THE TIME (which is lovely!). Plus, them winning is not on some default “dudes got a fetish” thing. Different folks like different things which I think is beautiful and allows multiple lids for every pot.

        Roock isn’t entirely wrong, either. Truthfully, miserable people of every size hate on folks. Including the skinny, small chick hating on the big gurl. I’ve seen that too. Just because sis got a fuller figure they assume she can’t pull. Negative. The small girls have been quite jelly because they can’t diminish the bigger girls shine or run interference. I have seen the dude with his small girlfriend break his neck to eyeball the big girl…and not in disdain either. Pretty is pretty and comes in all shapes and sizes.

        • Yoles

          @ L_S

          “Truthfully, miserable people of every size hate on folks.” YES that is what i’m saying…

          i just noticed that when speaking about the unattractive the big girl seems to always be thrown under the bus… so i must defend my sisters!! Big Girls/Plus Size Princesses/Full Figured Beauty Queens UNITE!!!!!!!

          • Girl Kanyeshrug

            But its not pretty girls who are doing the throwing under the bus though…If you follow the shows and backstage at fashion week etc, the pretty girls are all nice. The people organizing the shows and producing it (who are just average looking people) are the ones who are saying ‘we don’t want fat or short” etc Watch the documentary on Valentino and you will see,.

        • V Renee

          Truthfully, miserable people of every size hate on folks. .

          Yeah. This is what it boils down to.

      • Kidsister

        *stands and applauds* you wanna talk about a demographic being hated on, it’s definitely big girls. All big girls do NOT fall under one umbrella; the same can be said for pretty girls. I’m beyond tired of all the Precious references. I think women of all shapes, sizes, and colors are subjected to what people think is solely a pretty girl problem. Women period have it hard.

      • http://www.kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

        Talk about it!

      • WIP

        “every big girl isn’t ugly, shapeless, dateless, desperate or lonely…”

        What? Tell ‘em one more time.

      • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

        Hi Yoles, longtime no hear.

        I think it is well documented that being a plus-sized Woman in Black America is actually and literally, a “plus”. Unlike White Women, Black Women do not seem to be as impacted on “body image” issues/metrics, suffering from bulima, anorexia and the like. Some have suggested that this is due to inherent cultural and even genetic differences between Whites and Blacks, the latter, at least insofar as African Americans go, having to do with our ancestors hailing from parts of West Africa where a plus-sized Woman is seen as the ideal in feminine beauty. Personally, I think there’s a lot to be said for this view, but in any event, it doesn’t take an anthroplogist to see that a clear majority of Black Men have no problem with ladies such as yourself; indeed, many of us actually prefer it.

        O.

        • WIP

          I do feel that black women do not feel the pressure to be “skinny” like women of other races do. -This does not mean we feel it’s ok to be unhealthy- but we don’t want to be a size “0″. I was watching some sh*t where white girl was told “size 0″ was out, she needed to be a “-2″. For black women, the ideal is shapliness, not rail thin.

        • Yoles

          O
          what you say is true but we still have to acknowledge that in general in this country big is just seen as an unattractive trait. i someone wants to make up and unattractive person fat & ugly go hand in hand so often and if a women is fuller and loves herself she is seen as liking obesity or wanting to be out of shape etc… all i’m saying is big doesn’t mean ugly and no matter what point someone is in their life (debating dieting, exercising, or not) they can still love every inch of themselves

          • http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com Obsidian

            Hi Yoles,
            This may sound a bit simplistic, but…SO WHAT? So what if “others” think plus sized gals are thus and so? For my money, I couldn’t possibly care less as to what I find attractive in a Woman, first of all I didn’t ask for their opinion, and secondly if they were truly my friend etc, they’d be much more circumspect. I hear you wrt the very sensitive issues involved here Yoles, but I think that if ladies in question focused their attentions on Men who actually appreciate them for who they are, everything else really doesn’t matter. As I’ve said, it has been documented that Black Men are friends to the Zaftig Gals. And in the end, isn’t that all that really matters?

            O.

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        Um Yoles…you can’t talk cause you’re pretty. Of course you wouldn’t hate on another pretty girl . Duh. smh. ;) I think big girls get a bad rep because unfortunately some have a bad attitude because they aren’t accepted by mainstream society. It’s the same negative stereotype that pretty girls get for being “b*tchy” or “dumb”. We all can’t win.

    • DQ

      I’m sorry what do you say? I was staring at your breast (they were talking too)

      • keisha brown

        FOCUS! LMAOOOO

    • Mo-VSS

      Uhm, big girls can (and are) pretty as well.

      The biggest haters among women are????? Those who reap the benefits of the “p*ssy speculation” game. The girls who are 3′s who bagged a man who’s a 9 on a drunken night of clubbing…so now she thinks she’s SUPPOSED to be with a dude that attractive. Hell, when I walk in and shut it down, she’s salty. Sorry boo….you’re ugly, I’m not, end.of.story.

      Those are the biggest haters (or maybe their just MY biggest haters) LOL

      • DG

        LMAO@ “now she thinks she’s SUPPOSED to be with a dude that attractive. Hell, when I walk in and shut it down, she’s salty”

        I’m not mad at the confidence, Mo…not mad at all…

        • Mo-VSS

          LMAO…I was feeling it!

      • Yoles

        Mo… once again you make me smile

      • iRocsox91

        “Uhm, big girls can (and are) pretty as well.”

        I think that depends on who you ask. Personally I am not attracted to big girls at all, although at times I’ll see some who make me say, “damn she would look good if she lost sum weight!” I think most guys feel the same.

      • KT

        LOL. I hear ya, miss.

      • CAsweetface

        PREACH!!! HA!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        The girls who are 3?s who bagged a man who’s a 9 on a drunken night of clubbing…so now she thinks she’s SUPPOSED to be with a dude that attractive. Hell, when I walk in and shut it down, she’s salty. Sorry boo….you’re ugly, I’m not, end.of.story.

        I had no idea Keri Hilson commented on this blog. Mo-VSS you’re secret is out.

        • Mo-VSS

          LMAO…ironically I don’t like Keri Hilson as a talent. She’s definitely pretty though…

    • LSQ

      ” big girls. They develop such a strng hatred for pretty girls upon sight!”

      don’t you mean that they hate on “thin girls”?

      • WIP

        LOL, naw. I’m not a hater but…
        Typical big girl “hate” is gonna be against the chick that you can’t say anything about. She has body and she’s pretty. “Thin” doesn’t equate to body or FACE so, there’s still something to feel superior about if one chooses to do so.

    • TiffanyValentineRay

      I think that it’s the “average” woman, average size, average looks — that hate the most.

      && yes, “Eye Candy Syndrome” is a BIG issue, but it’s not only men who do it. Some women who try to latch on because they see how men respond to the “pretty girl”. They want to go places and get in free, get free drinks, never have to wait in line … or, they want to use her to attract the men && then try to “outshine” her in front of them … (you know, try to play up the whole “pretty girls have no personality” bit.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      finally, somebody understand my plight! lol. you forgot one important category under haiters: big girls. They develop such a strng hatred for pretty girls upon sight!

      i wonder how much of that is perception and how much of that is reality. b/c i dont really think big girls are natural haters. in fact, some of the most pleasant women i know are big girls.

      just to stoke the fire here…i think a lot of pretty chicks like to assume that big girls are hating on them b/c 1) its believable on its face, and 2) they need somebody to hate on them or else they really wouldnt be that pretty since, pretty chicks have haters, and 3) unfairly, big girls are easy targets.

      and b/c i know i saw somebody say it, i think there are a lot of very attractive big girls. hell, Jill Scott is like the hot big chick postergirl.

      • Yoles

        thx P-Nice

      • Be On It

        I don’t assume a big girl is going to hate on me on sight cuz I’m pretty and slender. But, to be completely honest, I’ve had big girls hate on me. I’m sorry that my mere presence made you forget your “i’m big and beautiful schtick”, but I didn’t say sheit to you nor did I give you stank-face, so stop being rude.

        Now, it is far more often that I get hated on by the inbetweenie – the woman who isn’t slim, isn’t “big”, just inbetween. She usually is someone who calls themselves thick, but really isn’t and is 9x outta 10 out of shape and on some diet/workout plan that is failing her miserably. Still, it’s not my fault that you seeing me reminds you that YOU are uncomfortable with you.

        • Yoles

          i’ve had big girls hate on me too…. and skinny girls and short girls and dark girls and light girls and plain girls etc… my point was there’s enough hate to go around and big girls are not just sitting around hating on everyone all the damn time b/c they’re fat and ugly…
          sometimes people just don’t like people… i’ve met people before that my spirit just didn’t take to, was it because how they look… nope just an unexplainable dislike

          • Be On It

            Good points.

            And I definitely cosign the “unexplainable dislike.” Sometimes, you just can’t stand someone, and no amount of hanging around them is going to change it.

          • Kidsister

            *two snaps in a Z formation* Tell ‘em girl!

  • Leila

    Pretty women have it really hard in relationships. A lot of men are insecure and can’t handle the attention that beautiful women get. It’s crazy seeing guys trip over nothing.

    • Leila

      Guys who are extremely good-looking have it hard too, but that’s another blog:)

      • DQ

        Honestly no they/we don’t. And truth be told I don’t buy that pretty girls have it hard. In the grand scheme of things you’d rather be you than the other chick. Whatever you’re facing, she’s facing too except she’s ugly on top of it all.

        • Rogman

          DQ

          I am glad you said this. Would a pretty girl( which by the way is at its best still an arbitrary designation) ever become less “pretty” if she had a choice?

          not in a minute

        • WIP

          “Whatever you’re facing, she’s facing too except she’s ugly on top of it all.”

          It’s funny because it’s real.

        • V Renee

          “And truth be told I don’t buy that pretty girls have it hard. In the grand scheme of things you’d rather be you than the other chick.”

          *Nodding*

        • CAsweetface

          Ok, true. I can dig it.

        • Leila

          “I don’t buy that pretty girls have it hard. In the grand scheme of things you’d rather be you than the other chick”

          Lol! True…There’s also a difference between being pretty and beautiful. A lot of beautiful women have it tough in relationships (Halle Berry, Naomi Campbell, and the list goes on) and deal with a lot of jealousy from other women. It can be tough.

        • Datalore

          COSIGN! I’m looking at that list and thinking “well that isn’t that bad”. lol

          I have no problem admitting that I’m sitting comfortably in the 6 range. I have friends who are beautiful (both inside and out) and although they have their own problems not a one would be willing to downgrade to “average-looking” chick problems.

          • WIP

            Could we even go so far as to say “average chick” has MORE problems because EVERY guy thinks he can get at her! LOL

            • Datalore

              Yep! Dudes don’t even what put in effort “b/c you aight but you ain’t fine”.

              Your personality has to be on point. Smile all the time. Fashion game has to be on point. LOL

              At least truly beautiful girls don’t have to work hard to get noticed. Average chicks like myself (especially introverted ones) have to bring the extra just to get in the game. You can’t be shy and average and expect dudes to notice you. Beauty is in the game just by showing up.

              Pretty chicks are not downgrading themselves…TRUST. And I don’t blame them. I say work that ish! LOL

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          while i agree with you on its face, yes relatively speaking, its way better to be pretty than it isn’t, and who in their right mind would trade their looks when everybody knows its cash currency. but problems are still problems. rich people have problems. we would all love being rich, and i’d trade those problems for mine all day long. but at the end of the day, problems are still those.

          hell, even white folks have problems at times. i cant relate and never will, doesnt mean they don’t exist.

          one of my favorite scenes in Bad Boys II is the scene where the drug dealer dude gets called into his attice b/c there are rats eating his money. now, he’s got millions of dollars so who the f*ck cares. rats are eating like hundreds of thousands.

          and dude says, “this is a stupid f*cking problem to have. but alas, it is a problem. fix it.”

          problems are problems no matter how they look to other people. they’re you’re problems.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “one of my favorite scenes in Bad Boys II is the scene where the drug dealer dude gets called into his attice b/c there are rats eating his money”

            wait…you have MULTIPLE favorite scenes in bad boys II?

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              LOL. dude its like the 4th greatest movie of all time.

          • DQ

            I get what you mean, in a literal sense, a problem is a problem is a problem. Realistically all problems are not created equal.

            I envision problems to be things that tend to keep you from living a healthy happy life. Most of what is being complained about here (and by people in general) are what I would call inconveniences.

            Losing your job and having no insurance and an under water mortgage is a problem. Having difficulty financing your new speed boat because capital gains taxes aren’t low enough is an inconvenience.

            If a dude ever came to me and said he was having problems and he needed to talk, and he started in about tax structure and speed boats, I would probably karate chop him in the throat and steal his wallet. That way he could at least say he did have problems now.

    • TheAnti-Cool

      I’m sure “ugly” women do as well. And they probably get just as much attention but for different reasons.

      And an insecure guy would likely be insecure no matter how his woman looked.

    • Jane Doe (formerly known as Honey)

      “A lot of men are insecure and can’t handle the attention that beautiful women get.”

      this is where you really have to know how to act, as a pretty girl. you have to exaggerate things. for instance, when your man is close by and another man steps to you, make sure your man sees you point at him and say “yeah, i’m here with my man.” and you can’t be as friendly with guys as other girls might be able to. stuff like that. all my boyfriends start out insecure about being with me, but eventually they relax because i constantly show them that i’m not going anywhere.

      this reminds me of another pretty girl “problem” is that men ALWAYS think you’re flirting with them, even if you’re just being nice, smiling and having an innocent conversation with them. idk what that’s about, maybe wishful thinking on their parts.

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      Yassssssss!

      SFG: Hi can I get a #2 and a #4. Thank you!
      SFG’s man: o_O calm down.
      Drive thru guy: Would you like any ketchup, napkins?
      SFG: Yes, thanks.
      Drive thru guy: You’re very welcome ma’am.
      SFG man: Why you gotta be all friendly? Just take the food. Dude what you looking at?! Drive up. Why you had to twirl your hair? You showing too much teeth to these dudes!! And another thing, Dwayne’s coming over tonight. Stay upstairs.
      SFG: -_-

  • http://twitter.com/soundwave803 Soundwave803

    First off what criteria makes someone “Pretty”??? Are we talking face, body or both?? You ask 15 people and you will get 15 diferent answers. I do feel bad for pretty girls because people will just write some one off pretty as dumb. However they benefit because of lowered expectations, everything done seems bettter than it is. It is one life’s trade-offs.

    • Amos Banks

      There are women who are pretty in everybody’s book.

      • Rogman

        Like who?

        • Caballeroso

          I’ve never heard Halle referred to as a’ight or ugly.

          • ChloeRayne516

            Chuuch…

    • TWIsM81

      True, people will include different things into their definition of pretty, but overall there are people that are considered universally attractive. I’d say a simple test is how often is said person told by random people how attractive they are. Not by family, friends, co-workers, etc. Just random strangers complimenting your looks while you’re out and about. If it happens fairly often (even when you’re not all made/GQ’d up) it’s a fairly safe assumption you may be more attractive than most.

      • ChloeRayne516

        This is True!!!

        Family, friends and Co-workers don’t count. Strangers telling you is affirmation while looking at your face NOT a body part.

        • WIP

          The funny thing is, when strangers have said that to me, I always think “why are they saying that? Are they just trying to be nice because they think I look horrible?” (ya, I have issues.)

          • Lina

            Yes! I never take a stranger’s words at face value. I’m always like ok, now what do you want? Not in the rude way, but I think that they must want something.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i specifically didn’t define pretty b/c i wanted folks to run hogwild with that very notion. what exactly makes somebody pretty.

      to me, i can’t define it, but i know it when i see it.