That's it. I can't keep a man because I'm pretty.
This might sound sort of Tiiiimmmmy, but I actually feel bad for really pretty women sometimes. Sure, feeling bad for pretty women is like feeling bad for rich people. Drake. But you know, problems are problems, no matter how stupid.
And everybody’s got issues. Jet.
I can honestly say that I know a lot of really pretty women. I also know a lot of formerly pretty women, which has given me both a control and an experimental group for my observational delight. Yes, unknowing and unintentional subjects run rampant on the streets because much like the rain or reign, you cannot stop time. Yes, time keeps on slipping…into the future. Poignant.
Back to pretty women and their problems. Because they’re pretty, generally, nobody gives a f*ck about how hard they may have it. And pretty chicks have it plenty hard. For instance, you know how busted chicks get hollered at by homeless men that owe the dentist teeth and generally unambitious, lazy drug dealers and former Bad Boy artists? Well pretty women have to deal with all those same ninjas PLUS all the rest of the men that have nothing to lose by hollering at a chick whose sole value seems to be her looks.
Here are a few pretty girl problems.
1. Quality control
How are you supposed to find a good man when you literally have to sift through ALL men? I know all women seek attention. But of course, there’s usually an inverse relationship between how much attention you get and how much you might actually want. That has to be overwhelming. I see rather unattractive light skint women getting major sweats frequently. Poor hot chick, though. She has to deal with twelve times that attention. Of course, its better than the alternative. She could be Precious and have folks taking pictures of her at basketball games with captions like, “YO, PRECIOUS ACTUALLY HAS A MAN, Y’ALL. YOU GOTS TO SEE THIS SH*T”
2. Sworn Enemy of the Hater Association That Eats Raspberries Society
That acronym worked better in my head than on paper. Either way, pretty chicks have more haters than a little bit, and for doing nothing more than being born pretty. Sure a lot of pretty chicks have attitudes and make songs like “Pretty Girl Rock” where they talk about being cuter than anybody else. And yes, occasionally they deserve to have a cupcake thrown at them. But the truth is, all pretty chicks ain’t stuck up hussies. A lot are just pretty and want to be loved and liked by people from 8 to 80 from various socio-economic classes. But they can’t get that love. Because people hate on things that look better than them. Actually, this is mostly chicks.
3. Nobody wants them on Jeopardy
Jeopardy is the great brain equalizer. Busted women of the world have descended upon that stage and become somebody important for 30 minutes during the week. We value their brains and are impressed by their acumen. Place Tyra Banks on Jeopardy and we’re surprised that she can spell her name without adding a heart to it. And that’s sad. There are a lot of really smart pretty girls out there and nobody cares. Which is again, an odd problem to have. But its a problem nonetheless. If nobody ever valued me for my brain I’d probably get a chip on my shoulder too and want to always talk about deep sh*t like Black Holes and John Cougar Mellencamp. Poor pretty girls.
4. Esteem issues
It’s odd to think of pretty chicks having esteem issues, but it happens all the time. Seeing as a lot of pretty chicks rarely ever have to develop an actual personality, they almost devalue themselves by playing up on their attractiveness or not expecting anybody to expect much out of them. That creates an inner turmoil since, again, there is no personality or real person underneath all of that gooey goodness. A lot of pretty women struggle with identity issues and esteem issues because they’ve never had anybody take an interest in them outside of their looks. That’s sad. It’s kind of like watching those animals on the ASPCA commercials that just want a home. Next time you see a pretty chick, offer to adopt her. She just wants to come home like Diddy.
(Sidenote: My goodness, Jim Jones song “Perfect Day” might be the gayest song I’ve heard in a long time right after Nelly’s “Just a Dream”. My God man.)
Pretty ladies, I feel for you. You have problems too. All you want is somebody to love. And somebody to care about you as a person.
Pretty ladies, speak out, let me hear your plight.
And ladies, I think you’re all dimes.
On the real though, do pretty girls have it hard? Or is it all just blown smoke?
Do pretty girl problems matter when so many busted jawns need our help?
Talk to me, VSB. What it is?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
Back to my ol’ tricks…being first!
this right here deaded me, goodnight!!!! –> “Of course, its better than the alternative. She could be Precious and have folks taking pictures of her at basketball games with captions like, “YO, PRECIOUS ACTUALLY HAS A MAN, Y’ALL. YOU GOTS TO SEE THIS SH*T”
lately all i’ve been hearing are things about chicks that think they are pretty but really aren’t, chicks that are treated like they are pretty but are really not, so how would one know the truth if men have been gassing chicks and driving the price of toto up and whatever else smart a$s sayings they have for…
girl you think you pretty but you not!
Tell ‘em Yo!!!!! lol. I think the “under the assumption they are pretty but they’re not” chicks are only an issue if its fake confidence. I’ve known some really confident 6,7,8′s that ended up being treated like 9,10′s because they were truly confident. A symptom of fake confidence is a stank attitude.
nice distinction between real confidence and fake confidence…i never thought about it but that’s real talk.
“a symptom of fake confidence is a stank attitude”
blam. preach on! (i am taking notes)
@LSQ you crack me up
@Honey, you can always, ALWAYS tell the fake confidence. it’s like they try to overcompensate by throwing shade or something.
If you want to know whether or not your are pretty think about how often you have to deal with number 2 on this list.
Then you’ll know.
I dont think that is just a symptom of pretty though. It can be body parts.
i’m not fully sure what you’re talking about but i think it works like anything else. if you run around telling people how hot you are, you place yourself in the way of more direct scrutiny. smart people don’t tell you they’re smart. they just iz. attractive people dont have to let you know, we all see. that’s the issue i think. when folks getting to running their yaps about how they’re this and that you tend to find the reasons that they’re not.
it works with dudes. if a guy tells you how much of a catch he is, your natural inclination is to let him know why its not.
nobody likes the big head.
there’s a potenial false postive double entendre in that last sentence.
In general the pretty girls don’t go around saying it or even thinking it for the most part. They keep being aware of it because people keep telling them or staring…
Exactly. Who wakes up in the a.m. thinking “Thank GOD I’m pretty” or even tells others that they are pretty. I don’t know any attractive person who has even uttered the words unless defending themself from someone calling them ugly. lol I think people are careful not to do this because they don’t want to seem conceited. If anything, I know alot of pretty women who claim not to be pretty and say they’re nerdy, etc
The people that I do see saying they’re pretty usually have facebook names like “PrettyGirlMimi” and are busted or look like p0rn stars. lolol.
thx all
hahahaha @ SFG
Not true. I wake up in the morning and sing “I feel pretty. Oh so pretty”.
LMAO!
“Who wakes up in the a.m. thinking “Thank GOD I’m pretty” or even tells others that they are pretty.”
I’ve got a cousin who will tell anyone who will listen about how pretty she is. The problem is, she ain’t.
“…and are busted or look like p0rn stars.”
I’ve seen some very pretty p0rn stars….jus sayin’.
ummmm, AKAs…
You are so wrong for that. Yet so right.
@V
LOL!!
@Cab
True! I stand corrected. lol
Exactly. Who wakes up in the a.m. thinking “Thank GOD I’m pretty” or even tells others that they are pretty.
Keri Hilson?
“smart people don’t tell you they’re smart. they just iz. attractive people dont have to let you know, we all see. that’s the issue i think. when folks getting to running their yaps about how they’re this and that you tend to find the reasons that they’re not. ”
AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O!
*clicks heels*
*Wonders out loud if Cheekie clicking her heels makes her booty clap?*
*Decides that’s a topic for another time and moves on*
*Refuses to be serious today*
*DEAD*
I luh you.
It’s mutual
“it works with dudes. if a guy tells you how much of a catch he is, your natural inclination is to let him know why its not.”
Ooh! I know a particular guy that needs to know this. I’ma gladly let him know
You don’t have to tell anyone when you’re pretty. They pretty much see it for themselves. Furthermore, you don’t have to have a big head for men and women to want to be around beauty. This is a scientific fact, even babies are attracted to pretty faces.
I was specifically raised to not focus on beauty, my Dad having my sister and I read the bible Proverbs 31:30 too many times to mention (probably daily) in his mission to ensure we understood exactly how beauty was to be viewed. It worked! I developed a personality, brains and character and realized that beauty should not be the definition of who I am as a woman.
Nonetheless, I have had too many want to define me by this measure. Myriads of people, men and women can never define you by anything other than how you look. It takes a certain strength of character to not be affected by the ignorance.
Please don’t attribute all the issues on the pretty woman. It’s hard to be seen as a human being instead of a beautiful piece of whatever expectation any individual wants of you. Usually men a show piece for their arm and women want to be around the attention you draw in hopes of heightening their chance of meeting men. It can be rather sickening, you do have to constantly be on the lookout for others intentions. But for the training of my father, I may have gotten caught up in the hoopla.
In the end, I happy for the blessing and leave everyone else’s issues to them!
Everybody keeps calling her Precious….
They wouldn’t even let her have a boyfriend on “The C word” – why is everybody surprised that she has one in real life????
Im upset she’s become the universal symbol for an unattractive woman.
I am upset because some people think its ok to be that out-of-shape. I hope she lives past 40.
Ya know, I don’t think most overweight people think it’s “OK” to be out of shape. From my observation- people don’t generally overeat to the point of obesity because they feel great. I think there has simply a general acknowledgement that not hating oneself is the key to feeling better and thus making better decision about one’s life.
But from first sight, Gabby Sidibe (sp?) looks as if she may be entering the danger zone in terms of being obese, where numerous health complications arise. I think this is where LSQ is coming from with the comment
She’s not unattractive..just bigger
i think she gets used (as i did) just for effect. my point wasn’t even that she’s busted. it was that i’d hate to be the kind of person who gets attention b/c i actually was able to get somebody to like me.
though, its kind of like soulja boy being everything that’s wrong with hiphop. its not true at all, but his name gets bandied about as such anyway. easy targets, but people do well with pop culture references b/c everybody knows them. nobody knows how busted michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball at the park is b/c nobody except those ninjas know her. when i say precious, everybody conjures up an image.
i do think its nice you all dont want folks thinking of her as busted. that’s sweet.
“michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball in the park”…hahaha, now i must listen to the fugees
nobody knows how busted michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball at the park is b/c nobody except those ninjas know her.
but is the OTHER michelle leslie brown from 125th street that played ball in the park busted though? You know the cousin or something?
I agree with you. It’s really unfortunate that her looks are always used to signify unattractiveness. I don’t think people realize how deep of an issue this is.
There has to be a sub-category under HATERS. On these innanets, certain types of men do all they can to tear down the idea of pretty women. There might not be a oe chick with a pretty avatar commenting but the men will be sure to throw out a jab at the idea of pretty women. And not-so-pretty women jump on the bandwagon. At the heart of it, the men hate (really hate, not in the hip-hop way) because every adult pretty woman is a surrogate for the girls in HS they couldn’t date. Never mind that the guys never asked those pretty girls in HS.
The other thing you forgot is the ‘Put Her In Her Place’ technique. When Evelyn and Chad met the first time, he essentially told her she was good but he could make her better. This is how men try to chip away at the self-worth of pretty women–or women they think are above them.
*strokes chin* This makes sense.
You see it in the comments about how unrealistic pretty women are in their demands. I sit back and wonder if all those men who are writing that stuff have ever HAD a pretty woman. Have they ever had a conversation with several of them or tried to cultivate a friendship. Probably not.
Another thing people don’t seem to get is that a lot of pretty women do not demand things from men. Those men do ‘extra’ because they know the competition is serious for her affections. They figure they have to come out of the gate offering foreign travel and stuff.
When a pretty woman accepts something nice from a man, the assumption is that she’s fugging him because 1) ugly women often can’t imagine that a pretty woman has a personality and it is the personality that the man is vacationing with–her looks are the cherry on top 2) they’ve never had a man offer them anything without it being implied that she’s expected to give him favors in return.
Finally, pretty women aren’t allowed to ever complain. Too much attention from men (and women)? Shut up and be thankful. Special perks at work cus the VP hopes to get a chance? Shut up and be thankful.
sounds personal. lol. i love you flaws and all though.
I hate you all day everyday!
see. flaw.
When I saw that nonsense with Evelyn && Chad, I was soooo confused! What else does she really need from him? Now she walking around looking all boney!
Yeah he came at her like “I’ll upgrade you” but at the same time flew her a*z out there (which is probably a drop in the bucket for him, but still).
Back-handed compliments or to bait the woman into proving his assumptions wrong or wanting him to want her since some (men and women) are intrigued by a challenge.
*disclaimer
My second part was a departure from the Evelyn example since she wants a ball player period and wants that life. She wanted him to want her before he said “he could make her better”. She flew out there crossing her fingers, wearing a rabbits foot, holding a 4 leaf clover, and throwing salt over her shoulder.
preach!
I think Ev is savvy enough to have peeped what he was doing, made mental note, and kept her eyes on the prize. Most women can’t do that. Particularly young pretty women or women who aren’t pretty sans additions (the right clothes, hair, etc.). Men can play this upgrade game with them all day long because they didn’t grow up pretty.
jesus, this is the second time! lol i relinquish the name Honey…keep it girl
An avatar would provide more distinction….just sayin.
gravatar.com
lol i’ll make a cartoon one or something when i get some time. i know too many people who read this blog…i like being anonymous (read uncensored) for now
We should designate a timer where everyone makes their actual photo (no glamor shots) their avatar for an hour.
lol@ no glamor shots
so i can’t change mine to the one with the feather boa, the cloudy pastel colored background and me posed…. just so?? MM ur a hater!!!!!!!!
Fine, people with pics of their FACES get to use glamor shots.
im stickin with my poppin my lip gloss.
Men are the engine that makes that “Hate Train” go? Really? And Not so pretty women are just hitching a ride?
This is a revelation to me.
The same can be said of men. Women will say a guy is too “pretty”, “prettier than they are” or not rugged enough and the less attractive men will jump on that train too and accuse a guy of being a pretty mutha, less masculine and/or a b!@ch because he is attractive. It’s wrong, but both sides of the aisle have done it.
Amen. If I get asked if I’m a Kappa one mo’ time…. Now if you could talk to some of my friend-girls and explain why [some] men do not take the word pretty as a compliment, I’d be kinda happy with that. My womanese must not be as good, ’cause it doesn’t seem to register when I tell ‘em.
Yea, I am a tad bemused by this one
Men appear to be on the internet. These aren’t men who would openly hate on any pretty women in real life. Also, when they do it on the net, they don’t even direct it to one pretty woman. They are attacking the idea of the pretty woman and ugly chicks jump on board. How many times have I read that pretty woman can’t fug, cook, clean, or nurse babies? That’s absolute bs. There are more ugly women who can’t do those things than pretty women because, well, there just are more ugly women on Earth. If there wasn’t there wouldn’t be such a big stink about who is pretty and who cam breed with pretty.
There are more ugly women who can’t do those things than pretty women because, well, there just are more ugly women on Earth. .
*snickering*
yeah, a man “hating” on a beautiful woman is really just running game. it only works on the insecure ones, though.
That’s so true! I read this book, “The Game” about how guys try to do a ‘negative compliment’ to bait beautiful women….(it works on Diva Dudes surprisingly well). Don’t judge me cuz I read that book either, it’s interesting to see what guys (or people in general) will or have to do to get the puss (or attention).
Actually NE, “Negs” DO NOT WORK on Men, and this has been documented in-field in a number of ways; among them, by a group of Women attempting to apply Game in a night out on the town in San Fran (the article is easily accessible on the Web) and in another instance I can think of off the top of my head, a Feminist type attempting to apply Game. The reason as to why it doesn’t work on Males is simple: evolutionary psychology and the inherent differences between Men and Women.
As for “Diva Dudes” – as I always say, Obsidian Maxim # 21: Vince Vaughn with tight Game beats Brad Pitt with none, every single time. “Pretty boys” are similiar to their Female counterparts in that they too have traded on their looks for most of their life. The big problem though, is that this isn’t as big a problem for Women because of the way Men are wired – Men do not have the need for Women to be socially dominant. Women, on the other hand, DO need this in their Men, and which is why a really good looking guy can and WILL strikeout in a big way if he doesn’t have psychosocial dominance and display that in a multitude of ways. All “leading man looks” can do for a guy is get him an “audition”; after that, he’s gotta have and bring the goods, or it’s a Big Fat Fail.
Oh, and let commend you on actually reading The Game! Most Women who try to discuss these matters usually have no idea whatsoever as to what they’re talking about. I tip my Kangol to you.
O.
Yep, never read the book but I know guys that give 2 compliments and 1 “slight” negative when they first meet a woman. Essentially that negative throws off the “pretty woman” so much that when she picks herself off of her high horse she’s got to figure out how to fix that said negative that Mr. Random just planted in her brain. He becomes intriguing whether he looks like J.J. Walker or Boris Kodjoe. Its silly, hilarious and I’d bet works a lot of the time. These menses boy…creating monsters!
Girl yes. I’m not all that, never said I was all that and of course there is ALWAYS prettier but I meet some men who try to “humble” me by picking at my looks. Even the males in my family do this. “Oh shut yo big head @ss up, big forehead, little pinky toe having, one eye bigger than the other, etc GIRL”…like really? Or they’ll purposely not compliment you or say some side ways insult like “You iight”. o_O I’m no Beyonce, Halle, etc so leave me da fcuk alone. It’s like we’re up for critique or something.
“Oh shut yo big head @ss up, big forehead, little pinky toe having, one eye bigger than the other, etc GIRL”…
so in person you’re like a one eyed one armed flying purple people eater?
Wow you remember purple people eaters? From the awful movie or from “brother in the land’?
from smoking too much grass, man.
LOL!!!!!!!!! (I just sputtered)
Yep.
OMG Yes girl, this happens to me a lot and specifically lately. Let’s see, on Friday this guy that I barely know said I was a 9 in 1/4 and could get me to full 10 status with his help. Sir, stop watching Basketball Wives and getting ideas from OchoCinco’s rotten a$$ lines to Evelyn. Then I’ve heard “you aight, you cool, whatchu doing tomorrow?” Um, wow ok…insults might work on simple “pretty chicks” but not fly, an abundance of commonsense having, intelligent ones, boy bye…But what I love about these critiques some men are giving is that they themselves find it appropriate to point out a woman’s flaws looking something the cat dragged in. Last time i checked a huge barrell gut and a pea head was not the move so stop critiquing chicks! Lol…gosh…
Oh yes! It’s always the oogly ones trying to rank women. icant.
Yes, I was watching “Nip/Tuck” and dude on there was a plastic surgeon and he killed that trick. He would get the most beautiful women, and when they found out he was a plastic surgeon they would ask his opinion (because they were actually pretty insecure). He would start marking them and identify like 100 things he could fix. A lil’ while after that he’d be hitting it.
At first I wasn’t going to comment on this post, until I saw your comment. It hits home. “…every adult pretty woman is a surrogate for the girls in HS they couldn’t date. ” I have been told by 2 exes exactly that. It was worded like, “you were the unattainable girl in HS for me/you’re the cheerleader and I’m the weird outcast…”, but it all says the same. It’s funny that VSB wrote this post because just the other day I was thinking about how pretty women do have it difficult. We do have to sift through the men who are only interested in the idea of us as opposed to the real thing, the men who seek to “conquer” us, the men who do not take us seriously (more on this in a second), on top of the standards we’ve set for ourselves.
What’s worse than being a pretty girl? Being a pretty girl with a bubbly personality. Like me. That screams, “AIRHEAD!!!!” It’s quite unfortunate, and I notice it every time I see the looks of amazement when I say something “smart”. It’s like we’re dolls that should be seen and not heard, but when we talk…we get the reaction that Andy would’ve had had he walked in while Buzz and Woody were still alive, or EVERY reaction in “Legally Blonde” (one of my favorite movies, watching the movie, you’ll see every “pretty girl problem”). As my name states, I am in GRADUATE school, and I’m entering a PhD program Fall 2012. I’m effing brilliant (Oh, another thing, as pretty women we can’t praise ourselves because it comes off as “arrogant” smh).
Also,
pretty+friendly=flirty (EVERY TIME AND I HATE THAT SHT) *clears throat* Pardon my french
We aren’t allowed to like anything else besides fashion and entertainment. Note, I’m not a fashionista, and while I do like entertainment, I’m one of the biggest nerds I know. I love learning. If I could be in school for the rest of my life, I probably would. That’s actually why I want to be a professor well, one of the reasons.
I could go on but I have things to do and so do you. I’ll end with this. Throughout my life, I had to learn valuable lessons. “Don’t care what the world has to say, stop living up to the expectations of everyone else,” and the most important would be, “stop letting people make you rely on your pretty. You are so much more than a pretty face.” I have so much to offer the world, and being easy on the eye is just the cherry on top of a fantastic sundae that is, me!
<3
“I’m effing brilliant (Oh, another thing, as pretty women we can’t praise ourselves because it comes off as “arrogant” smh).”
you forgot to mention how modest and humble you are
“you forgot to mention how modest and humble you are”
In this post, no I don’t come off as modest or humble because I’m venting. No one is modest or humble while venting.
Based on you saying you’re still in school, I have some bad news to give you. I’m in my mid-30′s. I’m pretty–not just because anyone told me but also because I can operate a mirror. When I was your age (mid-20′s, I think), I thought the treatment would get better. I thought people would mature and judge on content of character. Sadly, it only gets worse. If you age well and are still pretty, the pretty girl tax only increases. You will get jobs where, after you’ve been working a while there, someone will get drunk and tell you and everyone who can hear, that you were hired because you’re hot. You will show up in meetings with every ‘T’ crossed and every ‘I’ dotted. People will tell you how impressed they are that you can read. This is even after you’re a supervisor/director/VP. You will have to make yourself be extra nice to neutralize people. You’ll have to always be careful about what you share with people who hate the idea of you. Share too much, they’ll use it against you. Share too little, they’ll make it up. You’ll have so-called friends do you super dirty on a passive-aggressive level. Not because they hate you personally, but because they hate what you represent. All the while, you’re not supposed to complain.
The upside is that as you get older, if you can’t now, you will be able to walk in a room, scan it, and immediately assess the reaction of every single person in the room and make adjustments quickly and accordingly.
*grabs notepad and starts taking notes*
well who brought the Good News Bear? somebody get her some f*cking honey.
LMAO!
yea but.
that stuff _still_ applies to non-pretty people.
none of what you said happens because you are viewed as pretty.
I don’t deny that it is your experience, but you’ll need to do draw me a better picture that shows its due to your looks. EVERYONE must walk in the room and make adjustments, no one can share too much/little, and people will insult ANYONE.
work is war – and in the fog of it we may blame it on our looks, our intelligence, our skin color, ethnicity, etc. – but it ain’t none of that – its just the mess that is.
I think we call it …. hmmmm.. the human condition.
Other people get the benefit of the doubt more than an attractive person. The negatives happen more to pretty people. But we aren’t allowed to acknowledge it–ever. Even after we hear, “Oh she thinks she’s cute…”
I am absolutely positive that people get treated differently because they are cute.
What I am saying is, can we really prove/show that your experiences are due only to your beauty?
It can tempting to blame our workplace/relationship ills on something we cannot control, vice something that _is_ in our control, and the situations you present _may_ or _may not_ be due solely to your beauty.
I’ve had it said to me. I have a disarming nature, once I start talking to people. they just come right out and tell me they thought X, Y, Z when they first saw me, met me. I probe, trying to come off as non-judgmental as possible. Invariably, I get, “You look like…” And if for some reason they saw my car prior to getting to know me, they know what school I went to and what sorority I pledged.
The only thing I can compare it to is when a Black man walks into an office building, rides a train (without a suit on) etc. People make certain negative judgments about these men. It’s hard for a Black man to get a cab. For decades, people pish-poshed the real cab struggle. But study after study shows it’s real.
having someone say it…. that’s rough. Feel for you being around such shallow prejudicial folk. My suggestion, try to limit your exposure to that crap and spend time with folk not so focus on the 1) temporary 2) superficial parts of life. Just don’t assume that what they do/say are anything but normal – dat sh*t is bat crazy. Regular folk don’t think that way.
exactly. if you’re good-looking, male or female i think, you’re always being watched. and people care about what you do way more than they should. it’s like all your words and actions are taken personally. and i’m not complaining (cuz i’m not supposed to lol) because it’s just something you have to acknowledge and live with. it’s life. and there are worse problems to have.
Wow this…”You’ll have so-called friends do you super dirty on a passive-aggressive level. Not because they hate you personally, but because they hate what you represent.”… one too many times…
“You will have to make yourself be extra nice to neutralize people. You’ll have to always be careful about what you share with people who hate the idea of you.”
So far I have found this to be the best method to use. Especially when I am around women (be it in a professional setting, or relaxed social interactions), I try to compliment them to help take some of that “edge” off by noting her shoes, hair, or any other mundane object just to prove “Hey, I’m not a threat, and I don’t want any trouble!”. I also use this when meeting their husbands/boyfriends/significant others. I find that I have to take the initiative and, like you said, neutralize other people to let them know that I am about business rather than asinine, petty things.
“you will be able to walk in a room, scan it, and immediately assess the reaction of every single person in the room and make adjustments quickly and accordingly”
As in, when u open ur mouth, the men know ur not ditzy (assuming ur not) and the women know ur not gonna take their man and ur not stuck up (again…assuming ur not).
Okay, I know I’m super late, but I had to comment on this. Have you also ever noticed dating is difficult? It’s like the the men who are interested in an intelligent, deep, cultured woman, looks at you with annoyance and dismisses you as ditzy. But the guy who looks at you and wants you because you’re pretty, is quickly turned off when he realizes you actually have a brain, that you you regularly use no less!
I’ve had guys pine and swoon over me, only to take me out on a date and tell me “Hmm, you’re just different than I expected.” When I ask how so, I always get some disappointed response which alludes to the fact that I’m not nearly as ‘easy’ as they thought I’d be. I literally had a guy tell me to call him when the “fun girl” came back; oddly enough, the only place he’d ever interacted with me was at our gym!
Talk about infuriating.
Ms. Smart!! I had to squeeze in and give to two daps and a chest bump. This comment is DA TRUTH!! If I had a dollar for every blog I’ve read throwing tons of shade at pretty women like: they’re bad in bad, they’re rude, they’re dumb, they’re hard to deal with…etc. When the same could be said for ugly women or ANY woman. It’s just insecurity. They’re scared they don’t have a chance so they stay away and hate from the sidelines.
And if I had a dollar for every highschool/college mate that went out of their way to let me know that I was this or that in school and I lost out on the good thing, yada yada yada…usually accompanied by some Eddie Longesque bathroom muscle pic, etc I would be RICH. Men need to get over it and quit with the insecurities already.
This is one of the reasons I don’t use my face on my own blog, comments, or Twitter. Typically, I’d rather just speak from a blank faced place. But alas, in this post, I think my comments speak to where I am on the looks scale. *le sigh*
Another thing P didn’t mention was the unsolicited FB shout outs! That shyt?! Those thirst free-range dudes are ridiculous.
at least in this regard i can attest to the fact that you are definitely pretty in case anybody is wondering if you’re blowing smoke. lol. cuz you got a WHOLE lot to say.
Aww thanks. I take back what I said up-thread about hating you. I luh you! I have a lot to say cus my work load is light today. I’ve made a decent amount of $ this weeks soooo I’m all over these innanets.
EVERYday I battle myself about taking my pic down. I think my comments would do better if I didn’t have my pic up. It leaves me open to more scrutiny and I know people will pick my looks apart in their head. I really should be faceless…it may be too late though but I’m considering it. lol
SFG
keep your pic up!!! you are you and there is no need to hide, you disclosed your face already, don’t take it away… OWN it
you’re pretty and you know it…
Awwww, thanks Yoles.
I don’t feel that bad now that alot of VSSs have their pics up. When I first started commenting on VSB, barely anyone had a pic. I think I was the only one actually.
SFG
you’re a trend setter!!!!
Unrequited Eddie Longesque bathroom muscle pics might just be a sure sign and the alpha, omega, Creation and Apocalypse of this here issue.
“When Evelyn and Chad met the first time, he essentially told her she was good but he could make her better.”
And the women love them for it. But don’t blame Chad, blame Evelyn’s need to have her drive to hypergamy satisfied.
Nobody’s blaming Chad so much as I’m pointing out this exchange as an example of what’s standard practice for a certain type of men when it comes to dealing with attractive women.
I would have left right then…its the trend for how the rest of the realtionship will go…now she looks weird. Not gorgeous like before.
I seriously think when Chad was saying he could make her look better, the 5759% gay-o-meter went off. Plus, he says “child please.”
Yeah that kinda struck me as odd too!
I’ve alwasy interpreted the “chile please” thing as either an homage to Marla Gibbs, or Chad being purposefully ironic. Like, he’s playing with this super-black-femme expression to dare people to call him gay (which many do), then he in turn judges and laughs at teh people who think he’s gay because he says chile please. I take it as an intentional test to identify homophobes by a relatively intelligent guy.
Now *why* he would bother wanting to do all that is beyond me.
Yeah, just reading that made me tired.
But, that could be true. I vaguely remember him saying on his lovey-dovey VH1 show that his grandma used to say it. Which, yeah sure can… she’s an old black woman. Him? Not so much.
Bollocks. For the most part, men become cloying simps and are overly complementary towards pretty girls. Maybe you all are confusing “I’m not obese and have one other aesthetic that men find attractive” with pretty. No shade. Just that if Evelyn is your standard bearer, then you might be having “not as pretty as the way I project myself” girl problems, which are the ones Evelyn has.
You know, “anything that is a slight about me must be hate, cause I am attractive no matter what anyone says” insecurity vs. “my looks have defined me my entire life and may be the only reason men are attracted to me” insecurity. Two whole different types of crazy. Evelyn has the former. You game her by validating her looks, you game the other by validating other parts of her personality.
Ha. You see what you did there? You offered two negative options. Also, we’re talking about two different things up-thread: 1) how men behave online where they can be virtually anonymous and 2) using the Ev/Chad example of a tactic used in real life. As for who judges who is attractive, Ev’s attractive to Chad. I gathered this by him seeking her out for ‘company’.
I focused in on insecurities cause we were talking about pretty girl PROBLEMS, just differentiating between the root of pretty girl problems and the root of the other group to support the point I was making.
As for 1), point taken. I thought you believed that hate extended beyond the internet, but either way, I think men treat a pretty picture on the internet better than an ugly one. I am 99.9% certain of this. That’s just the way guys operate.
As for point 2), that’s a pretty low standard for how pretty women get treated. By definition all problems women have with a members of the opposite sex are pretty girl problems, as long as the guy showed some interest.
If they’re anonymous how do you know they’re men?
There is a tendency for many women to hate women they see as too pretty. So it’s like “Man, eff that pretty biznitch” before they even have a chance to show u whether they are biznitch or not.
And then u have to deal with things like men staring at *insert body part here* and not actually listening to the things you say. And when they do, are shocked to find substance.
At the risk of having cupcakes thrown at me, I actually do find it tiring to have to tell so many men NO. Not that i don’t appreciate the attention. It’s just that you wish you could set parameters …. like can we at least eliminate the ones with missing teeth, Cassidy CDs, and student loans from University of Phoenix? I think that would help.
NecoleBitchie had an article about why it’s so hard for Halle to keep a man. Poor thing. http://necolebitchie.com/2011/03/18/why-women-like-halle-berry-are-hard-to-date/
“NecoleBitchie had an article about why it’s so hard for Halle to keep a man. Poor thing.”
I thought WE already knew the answer to this bases on my eccentric future hubby eric benet.. Halle is frigid between the sheets!!! Nuff said.
nobody betta dare through a cupcake!! pj needs to learn how to eat em!
thats why im throwing them. somebody get me a pound cake.
Have you seen this video floating around the internet that says
“B* tches would rather be a Made Nukkas Smut, Than Be a Regular Nukkas Queen” – Joe Budden
This definitely sounds like a pretty girl problem.
Yeah, I just peeped that video. I do question where the cat is meeting these women but he did catch my attention when he said that it’s hard for a hardworking guy to get a good looking woman; just a hardworking, cool guy from the neighborhood.
I’m sure when you seek out silly a$$ people, you will find them.
this. I’m gonna say it: we as men need to stop evaluating women on _just_ their looks. Its not something they earned (unless they are an aerobics instructor, etc). They momma and daddy gave them their looks. So the stupidity distribution amongst the population of “good looking women” is MUCH higher than the stupidity distribution amongst decent-wage-earning men.
so men: we have to weed out those good-looking-but-stupid women from our crosshairs. 1st step: stop putting soooo much importance on “finding a good looking woman”, you could end up with a good-looking-dummass
“They momma and daddy gave them their looks.”
word. i always tell people, being beautiful isn’t an accomplishment (well, being naturally beautiful isn’t anyway). if anyone should be beating their chests about the way you look, it should be your parents for bringing their genes together to create you. you’ve GOT to be about something more than looks…in the grand scheme of things, looks don’t mean sh*t.
and then, after i tell them that, they roll their eyes and say “easy for you to say, b*tch.” lol but i really mean that ish.
I heard (I think on Golden Girls) that if you’re beautiful while you’re young it’s luck. When you’re old and beautiful it’s because you earned it.
i like this
I think I like this too.
I LOVE THAT! I wonder if Sophia Petrillo said that. I loved those saucy geriatric ladies! They tickled my fancy from a child not understanding the jokes through today when i watch it at least twice a week.
I think Miles said it. (I watch too much Golden Girls.)
I saw that video and I think a “Regular Girl,” especially in NY, could make a video saying the exact same thing. Basically, 95% of the men are going after 5% of the women, and vice versa.
But still though, Sit indian style and be happy cracked me up. Dude said he was gonna start rapping b/c being the funny dude wasn’t cutting it any more. He’s running out of jokes.
Basically, 95% of the men are going after 5% of the women, and vice versa.
that is why the relationship business is a billion dollar industry. despite the fact that this is common sense that everybody is familiar with, everything wants to believe they are in that 5 percent…or should be.
i dont even know what the title means.
*sings lost in the world in my kanye voice….
I don’t know why but this made me LOL
Everybody has problems but pretty or not, dudes cheat, lie, and all that just the same.
But people look at your singlehood like a disease. “how is it that a girl like you can’t find a man?”
It’s just hard to find a match period. Yea we get hit on by a lot of losers but that’s not really an issue – not hard to say “no thanks I gotta man” and keep it moving. I’d prefer to say no than to never get asked. We like attention and when we can’t get it from the man we want, we don’t necessarily mind hearing that this loser from the block would give his left nut to be with us. Even if we are rolling our eyes when he’s trying to talk to us.
I agree with you.. Pretty women do have a big disadvantage; my cousin has this problem. They can’t find a man, and if they do, a lot of men are intimidated if other guys try and talk or they guys they get are weirdos; one guy on a date told her, “I can’t believe I am on a date w/ you right now.” Another guy told his mom about her and how they were seeing each other… they only had class together and sat rows away from each other. o.O
p.s. [this has nothing to do with the topic, but I figured since I was a smidge higher than usual, I might as well get my bid in.] I would like to know if you guys will/have done a post about women proposing to men… I would like to see how that’d pan out.
Yep. Some guys self-sabotage a good thing or are quick on the draw to be foul because they assume their role in the situation will end in them getting played. No. Actually they messed up a good situation with a pretty woman who was a good woman. It could be argued that it was a weak arse dude that needed to be bypassed anyway but, yeah….
I found out if you wanted to step to a pretty girl, you need to be very secure in yourself.
“one guy on a date told her, “I can’t believe I am on a date w/ you right now.” ”
WOW. This is the sad, sad equivalent of “You intimidate me.” He’s pretty much giving ol’ girl carte blanche to be an a-hole… and I wouldn’t even blame her if she became one. lol
yeah i saw a guy run game with that line….on MTV of all places. He got the cutty later that night.
It coulda just been his style of running game….
Good point… I can definitely see that happening.
Ahhhh, we both didn’t even look at it like that… good point indeed.
He was a tad creepy with it, he had a stalkerish feel to it.
finally, somebody understand my plight! lol. you forgot one important category under haiters: big girls. They develop such a strng hatred for pretty girls upon sight!
and also the Eye Candy Syndrome is a big issue for pretty girls. All men want to have you/be seen with you but, soon they become possessive and paranoid when they realize other people want to have you/be with you… sigh
it’s true that people assume you’re dumb also . I’ve found that I have to assert my knowledge at the beginning of conversations in order to be taken seriously
i’m a big girl that doesn’t waste any time at all hating on “pretty” girls does this imply that big girls can’t be pretty? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, lots of plus size princesses i know don’t have problem with slim chicks, pretty chicks, insert other positive attribute here ____ chicks, those above mentioned chicks have problems with us because we don’t all fit into the fat and ugly box that they want to put us in… every big girl isn’t ugly, shapeless, dateless, desperate or lonely…
#canIlive
Preach.
Agreed @ Yoles. Plenty of sistah’s have no problems with pretty women, are pretty themselves, and have no problem giving another woman a genuine compliment either.
I see Big Gurls in real life win ALL THE TIME (which is lovely!). Plus, them winning is not on some default “dudes got a fetish” thing. Different folks like different things which I think is beautiful and allows multiple lids for every pot.
Roock isn’t entirely wrong, either. Truthfully, miserable people of every size hate on folks. Including the skinny, small chick hating on the big gurl. I’ve seen that too. Just because sis got a fuller figure they assume she can’t pull. Negative. The small girls have been quite jelly because they can’t diminish the bigger girls shine or run interference. I have seen the dude with his small girlfriend break his neck to eyeball the big girl…and not in disdain either. Pretty is pretty and comes in all shapes and sizes.
@ L_S
“Truthfully, miserable people of every size hate on folks.” YES that is what i’m saying…
i just noticed that when speaking about the unattractive the big girl seems to always be thrown under the bus… so i must defend my sisters!! Big Girls/Plus Size Princesses/Full Figured Beauty Queens UNITE!!!!!!!
But its not pretty girls who are doing the throwing under the bus though…If you follow the shows and backstage at fashion week etc, the pretty girls are all nice. The people organizing the shows and producing it (who are just average looking people) are the ones who are saying ‘we don’t want fat or short” etc Watch the documentary on Valentino and you will see,.
Truthfully, miserable people of every size hate on folks. .
Yeah. This is what it boils down to.
*stands and applauds* you wanna talk about a demographic being hated on, it’s definitely big girls. All big girls do NOT fall under one umbrella; the same can be said for pretty girls. I’m beyond tired of all the Precious references. I think women of all shapes, sizes, and colors are subjected to what people think is solely a pretty girl problem. Women period have it hard.
Talk about it!
“every big girl isn’t ugly, shapeless, dateless, desperate or lonely…”
What? Tell ‘em one more time.
Hi Yoles, longtime no hear.
I think it is well documented that being a plus-sized Woman in Black America is actually and literally, a “plus”. Unlike White Women, Black Women do not seem to be as impacted on “body image” issues/metrics, suffering from bulima, anorexia and the like. Some have suggested that this is due to inherent cultural and even genetic differences between Whites and Blacks, the latter, at least insofar as African Americans go, having to do with our ancestors hailing from parts of West Africa where a plus-sized Woman is seen as the ideal in feminine beauty. Personally, I think there’s a lot to be said for this view, but in any event, it doesn’t take an anthroplogist to see that a clear majority of Black Men have no problem with ladies such as yourself; indeed, many of us actually prefer it.
O.
I do feel that black women do not feel the pressure to be “skinny” like women of other races do. -This does not mean we feel it’s ok to be unhealthy- but we don’t want to be a size “0″. I was watching some sh*t where white girl was told “size 0″ was out, she needed to be a “-2″. For black women, the ideal is shapliness, not rail thin.
O
what you say is true but we still have to acknowledge that in general in this country big is just seen as an unattractive trait. i someone wants to make up and unattractive person fat & ugly go hand in hand so often and if a women is fuller and loves herself she is seen as liking obesity or wanting to be out of shape etc… all i’m saying is big doesn’t mean ugly and no matter what point someone is in their life (debating dieting, exercising, or not) they can still love every inch of themselves
Hi Yoles,
This may sound a bit simplistic, but…SO WHAT? So what if “others” think plus sized gals are thus and so? For my money, I couldn’t possibly care less as to what I find attractive in a Woman, first of all I didn’t ask for their opinion, and secondly if they were truly my friend etc, they’d be much more circumspect. I hear you wrt the very sensitive issues involved here Yoles, but I think that if ladies in question focused their attentions on Men who actually appreciate them for who they are, everything else really doesn’t matter. As I’ve said, it has been documented that Black Men are friends to the Zaftig Gals. And in the end, isn’t that all that really matters?
O.
Um Yoles…you can’t talk cause you’re pretty. Of course you wouldn’t hate on another pretty girl . Duh. smh.
I think big girls get a bad rep because unfortunately some have a bad attitude because they aren’t accepted by mainstream society. It’s the same negative stereotype that pretty girls get for being “b*tchy” or “dumb”. We all can’t win.
I’m sorry what do you say? I was staring at your breast (they were talking too)
FOCUS! LMAOOOO
Uhm, big girls can (and are) pretty as well.
The biggest haters among women are????? Those who reap the benefits of the “p*ssy speculation” game. The girls who are 3′s who bagged a man who’s a 9 on a drunken night of clubbing…so now she thinks she’s SUPPOSED to be with a dude that attractive. Hell, when I walk in and shut it down, she’s salty. Sorry boo….you’re ugly, I’m not, end.of.story.
Those are the biggest haters (or maybe their just MY biggest haters) LOL
LMAO@ “now she thinks she’s SUPPOSED to be with a dude that attractive. Hell, when I walk in and shut it down, she’s salty”
I’m not mad at the confidence, Mo…not mad at all…
LMAO…I was feeling it!
Mo… once again you make me smile
“Uhm, big girls can (and are) pretty as well.”
I think that depends on who you ask. Personally I am not attracted to big girls at all, although at times I’ll see some who make me say, “damn she would look good if she lost sum weight!” I think most guys feel the same.
LOL. I hear ya, miss.
PREACH!!! HA!
The girls who are 3?s who bagged a man who’s a 9 on a drunken night of clubbing…so now she thinks she’s SUPPOSED to be with a dude that attractive. Hell, when I walk in and shut it down, she’s salty. Sorry boo….you’re ugly, I’m not, end.of.story.
I had no idea Keri Hilson commented on this blog. Mo-VSS you’re secret is out.
LMAO…ironically I don’t like Keri Hilson as a talent. She’s definitely pretty though…
” big girls. They develop such a strng hatred for pretty girls upon sight!”
don’t you mean that they hate on “thin girls”?
LOL, naw. I’m not a hater but…
Typical big girl “hate” is gonna be against the chick that you can’t say anything about. She has body and she’s pretty. “Thin” doesn’t equate to body or FACE so, there’s still something to feel superior about if one chooses to do so.
I think that it’s the “average” woman, average size, average looks — that hate the most.
&& yes, “Eye Candy Syndrome” is a BIG issue, but it’s not only men who do it. Some women who try to latch on because they see how men respond to the “pretty girl”. They want to go places and get in free, get free drinks, never have to wait in line … or, they want to use her to attract the men && then try to “outshine” her in front of them … (you know, try to play up the whole “pretty girls have no personality” bit.
finally, somebody understand my plight! lol. you forgot one important category under haiters: big girls. They develop such a strng hatred for pretty girls upon sight!
i wonder how much of that is perception and how much of that is reality. b/c i dont really think big girls are natural haters. in fact, some of the most pleasant women i know are big girls.
just to stoke the fire here…i think a lot of pretty chicks like to assume that big girls are hating on them b/c 1) its believable on its face, and 2) they need somebody to hate on them or else they really wouldnt be that pretty since, pretty chicks have haters, and 3) unfairly, big girls are easy targets.
and b/c i know i saw somebody say it, i think there are a lot of very attractive big girls. hell, Jill Scott is like the hot big chick postergirl.
thx P-Nice
I don’t assume a big girl is going to hate on me on sight cuz I’m pretty and slender. But, to be completely honest, I’ve had big girls hate on me. I’m sorry that my mere presence made you forget your “i’m big and beautiful schtick”, but I didn’t say sheit to you nor did I give you stank-face, so stop being rude.
Now, it is far more often that I get hated on by the inbetweenie – the woman who isn’t slim, isn’t “big”, just inbetween. She usually is someone who calls themselves thick, but really isn’t and is 9x outta 10 out of shape and on some diet/workout plan that is failing her miserably. Still, it’s not my fault that you seeing me reminds you that YOU are uncomfortable with you.
i’ve had big girls hate on me too…. and skinny girls and short girls and dark girls and light girls and plain girls etc… my point was there’s enough hate to go around and big girls are not just sitting around hating on everyone all the damn time b/c they’re fat and ugly…
sometimes people just don’t like people… i’ve met people before that my spirit just didn’t take to, was it because how they look… nope just an unexplainable dislike
Good points.
And I definitely cosign the “unexplainable dislike.” Sometimes, you just can’t stand someone, and no amount of hanging around them is going to change it.
*two snaps in a Z formation* Tell ‘em girl!
Pretty women have it really hard in relationships. A lot of men are insecure and can’t handle the attention that beautiful women get. It’s crazy seeing guys trip over nothing.
Guys who are extremely good-looking have it hard too, but that’s another blog:)
Honestly no they/we don’t. And truth be told I don’t buy that pretty girls have it hard. In the grand scheme of things you’d rather be you than the other chick. Whatever you’re facing, she’s facing too except she’s ugly on top of it all.
DQ
I am glad you said this. Would a pretty girl( which by the way is at its best still an arbitrary designation) ever become less “pretty” if she had a choice?
not in a minute
“Whatever you’re facing, she’s facing too except she’s ugly on top of it all.”
It’s funny because it’s real.
“And truth be told I don’t buy that pretty girls have it hard. In the grand scheme of things you’d rather be you than the other chick.”
*Nodding*
Ok, true. I can dig it.
“I don’t buy that pretty girls have it hard. In the grand scheme of things you’d rather be you than the other chick”
Lol! True…There’s also a difference between being pretty and beautiful. A lot of beautiful women have it tough in relationships (Halle Berry, Naomi Campbell, and the list goes on) and deal with a lot of jealousy from other women. It can be tough.
COSIGN! I’m looking at that list and thinking “well that isn’t that bad”. lol
I have no problem admitting that I’m sitting comfortably in the 6 range. I have friends who are beautiful (both inside and out) and although they have their own problems not a one would be willing to downgrade to “average-looking” chick problems.
Could we even go so far as to say “average chick” has MORE problems because EVERY guy thinks he can get at her! LOL
Yep! Dudes don’t even what put in effort “b/c you aight but you ain’t fine”.
Your personality has to be on point. Smile all the time. Fashion game has to be on point. LOL
At least truly beautiful girls don’t have to work hard to get noticed. Average chicks like myself (especially introverted ones) have to bring the extra just to get in the game. You can’t be shy and average and expect dudes to notice you. Beauty is in the game just by showing up.
Pretty chicks are not downgrading themselves…TRUST. And I don’t blame them. I say work that ish! LOL
while i agree with you on its face, yes relatively speaking, its way better to be pretty than it isn’t, and who in their right mind would trade their looks when everybody knows its cash currency. but problems are still problems. rich people have problems. we would all love being rich, and i’d trade those problems for mine all day long. but at the end of the day, problems are still those.
hell, even white folks have problems at times. i cant relate and never will, doesnt mean they don’t exist.
one of my favorite scenes in Bad Boys II is the scene where the drug dealer dude gets called into his attice b/c there are rats eating his money. now, he’s got millions of dollars so who the f*ck cares. rats are eating like hundreds of thousands.
and dude says, “this is a stupid f*cking problem to have. but alas, it is a problem. fix it.”
problems are problems no matter how they look to other people. they’re you’re problems.
“one of my favorite scenes in Bad Boys II is the scene where the drug dealer dude gets called into his attice b/c there are rats eating his money”
wait…you have MULTIPLE favorite scenes in bad boys II?
LOL. dude its like the 4th greatest movie of all time.
I get what you mean, in a literal sense, a problem is a problem is a problem. Realistically all problems are not created equal.
I envision problems to be things that tend to keep you from living a healthy happy life. Most of what is being complained about here (and by people in general) are what I would call inconveniences.
Losing your job and having no insurance and an under water mortgage is a problem. Having difficulty financing your new speed boat because capital gains taxes aren’t low enough is an inconvenience.
If a dude ever came to me and said he was having problems and he needed to talk, and he started in about tax structure and speed boats, I would probably karate chop him in the throat and steal his wallet. That way he could at least say he did have problems now.
I’m sure “ugly” women do as well. And they probably get just as much attention but for different reasons.
And an insecure guy would likely be insecure no matter how his woman looked.
“A lot of men are insecure and can’t handle the attention that beautiful women get.”
this is where you really have to know how to act, as a pretty girl. you have to exaggerate things. for instance, when your man is close by and another man steps to you, make sure your man sees you point at him and say “yeah, i’m here with my man.” and you can’t be as friendly with guys as other girls might be able to. stuff like that. all my boyfriends start out insecure about being with me, but eventually they relax because i constantly show them that i’m not going anywhere.
this reminds me of another pretty girl “problem” is that men ALWAYS think you’re flirting with them, even if you’re just being nice, smiling and having an innocent conversation with them. idk what that’s about, maybe wishful thinking on their parts.
Yassssssss!
SFG: Hi can I get a #2 and a #4. Thank you!
SFG’s man: o_O calm down.
Drive thru guy: Would you like any ketchup, napkins?
SFG: Yes, thanks.
Drive thru guy: You’re very welcome ma’am.
SFG man: Why you gotta be all friendly? Just take the food. Dude what you looking at?! Drive up. Why you had to twirl your hair? You showing too much teeth to these dudes!! And another thing, Dwayne’s coming over tonight. Stay upstairs.
SFG: -_-
First off what criteria makes someone “Pretty”??? Are we talking face, body or both?? You ask 15 people and you will get 15 diferent answers. I do feel bad for pretty girls because people will just write some one off pretty as dumb. However they benefit because of lowered expectations, everything done seems bettter than it is. It is one life’s trade-offs.
There are women who are pretty in everybody’s book.
Like who?
I’ve never heard Halle referred to as a’ight or ugly.
Chuuch…
True, people will include different things into their definition of pretty, but overall there are people that are considered universally attractive. I’d say a simple test is how often is said person told by random people how attractive they are. Not by family, friends, co-workers, etc. Just random strangers complimenting your looks while you’re out and about. If it happens fairly often (even when you’re not all made/GQ’d up) it’s a fairly safe assumption you may be more attractive than most.
This is True!!!
Family, friends and Co-workers don’t count. Strangers telling you is affirmation while looking at your face NOT a body part.
The funny thing is, when strangers have said that to me, I always think “why are they saying that? Are they just trying to be nice because they think I look horrible?” (ya, I have issues.)
Yes! I never take a stranger’s words at face value. I’m always like ok, now what do you want? Not in the rude way, but I think that they must want something.
i specifically didn’t define pretty b/c i wanted folks to run hogwild with that very notion. what exactly makes somebody pretty.
to me, i can’t define it, but i know it when i see it.
Yeah, I’m a pretty girl with problems. Mainly, I’m a Delta, a female Laker fan, I have more twitter followers than you (don’t know if this is true) and I’m a future lawyer. Which according to VSB, makes me undatable.
Good point about having to shift through aaaalllll the ninjas to find a decent dude. Oh, the pretty girl plight.
PS you should add Duke fans to the undatable criteria.
Goodnight!
Being a Laker fan is what makes you undateable. Everything else is straight.
Being a Laker fan is what makes you undateable. Everything else is straight.
LMMFAO!!
Lawyers also suck. Especially future ones.
Don’t call me when your Ninja antics get you locked up.
______________ flatlined
I won’t. Certainly not before the “future” arrives.
*falls out. LMBO!
You do realize that there always have and always will be more future lawyers than any other profession, including lawyers. The population would be decimated if future lawyers were undatable.
Is that because of people representing themselves?
Na, there are just always more people in law school than actual lawyers. And there are a lot of lawyers. Law Schools have a good hustle going.
you ain’t lyin. I’d be hatin if I didn’t come out making so much money, lol.
hatin on my racket-running law school, that is.
lol…yeah in my book, being a Duke fan is your only redeemable quality. LOL
“Yeah, I’m a pretty girl with problems. Mainly, I’m a Delta, a female Laker fan, I have more twitter followers than you (don’t know if this is true) and I’m a future lawyer.”
drats!
I would agree with 1 & 2. There are a lot to weed through & too many women are horribly mean.
Yep, I think [some] pretty women have pretty girl problems, just like everybody else. One of my closest friends is ridiculously beautiful and what people call exotic-looking, yet she isn’t comfortable nor confident in her skin. Honestly, I think it boils down to the fact that we all have issues and that we shouldn’t equate beauty with perfection or “having it all”.
(i hope no one goes off in this here post)
Too late Naomi. I’m about to set it off in this piece…
…ok really no I’m not. It’s late and I’m tired and I do what I do for the people.
If that doesn’t make any sense just remember it’s late and I’m tired.
I’m starting to fear for the pretty girls. They’re just not winning anymore. Shame!
I was at my class reunion and I chatted up one of the hotties. I mentioned a teacher and she rolled her eyes. She said he was a creep and then she rattled off like 7-8 other teachers that hit on her! I thought she had it easy being all hot and popular, but it’s like mo’ money mo’ problems.
mo money mo problems!!
great analogy!
*shimmies like puff daddy in an aluminum foil suit
haha, i loved those suits. now i have to go find that video on youtube
This is strange commenting on this post because I like to be and stay humble but… I am a pretty girl and we have it just as hard as anyone else when it comes to relationships. You’re right Panama, I just want someone to love on and cook for and have some kids. I’m not a gold-digger, I’m not trying to use a man for what he has, etc. I just want someone to come home to.
Like Drake says, “how you suppose to find the one when anyone will come with you?” If I hear one more friend, family member, stranger say, “you’re to pretty to be single.” I will scream! Dating doesn’t get any easier especially when you’re trying to find something meaningful. I don’t think pretty girls have it hard. We have the same problems as anyone else. Just like rich people have the same problems as everyone else.
(It feels hella weird talking about myself in this context)
Thanks for posting it…
(Cuz it’s true- and I was scared to say anything for fear that people would think I was being stuck on myself)
So I will ditto you on this.
No need to be humble. Be vain. LMAO!
I’m all about touting one’s horn. *Toot Toot*
its alright, ma. do you. it helps if you got pics to prove it. LOL
Yeah…showmewhatchagot!!
See now I have a self esteem issue. What if I’m not pretty enough? What if people have just been gassing me my whole life and I really do look like a booga-wolf? Woe is me says the “pretty” girl! lol
I will gladly direct anyone who wants to check me out to my facebook or twitter page. Just leave your email after the beep.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Pretty Girl problems are like when USC (football) goes on probation…..nobody is gonna cry for them, lol. Even on probation, they STILL snag a top 5 recruiting class, lol. Nobody else in the NBA feels bad for the LAkers if Ron Artest does something stupid to make them lose a game or two.
Basically, nobody cheers for Goliath, lol.
But I would venture that (on the low) the other 90% of women out there who ARENT as pretty as the top 10% would trade problems with them in a heartbeat…even if they dont wanna admit it, lol.
I concur
i too concur.
grass SEEMS greener on the other side of the fence.
i just wanna sink my toes in it for a moment…
I went to USC and unfortunately that’s the truth. Everyone laughed at us while all the alum have been pissed off. Womp.
Anyway, I think I’m not ugly, but I wouldnt say pretty even though folks say I am. Someone up there wrote pretty people know they are pretty because people tell them so, and that is so true. Even still, I feel like my current bf only likes me because he thinks I have a pretty face. That’s the only thing he comments on. He just wants someone on his arm. But I love him so I stay.
“Even still, I feel like my current bf only likes me because he thinks I have a pretty face. That’s the only thing he comments on. He just wants someone on his arm. But I love him so I stay.”
do you love him or just the arm that’s holding you? why do you think he only likes the way you look?
Everybody got problems. EVERYBODY. Plus, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One person’s foine is another person’s busted which is evident when you see folks looking all kinds of ways winning. Since there is no rule stating only these kind of people are winning, that means everyone can win. Get some! *said like Joe on Family Guy, lol*
Exactly. Pretty, ugly or average.
But if your biggest problem is being too pretty I just can’t find any sympathy for you. Just being real here.
“One person’s foine is another person’s busted which is evident when you see folks looking all kinds of ways winning.”
There’s universal beauty and there’s “beautiful to me” ya feel me. I’m not talking about inner beauty, but the actual unique combination of physical features that makes you saw “wow” about someone. I’ve heard many women say Ochocinco is ugly as hell, but I love his face.
ochocinco could get it
Maybe because I see his azz all the time
and he wh0res it upso he’s just alright to me.Honestly the first time I saw him (on that awful reality show) I couldn’t take my eyes away, I thought he was beautiful. Too bad he hates himself… (j/k).
I’ve heard many women say Ochocinco is ugly as hell, but I love his face
I don’t LOVE but LIKE his face, he has that Jay-Z factor thang going on — Charisma and confidence..
I love me some Joe Camel..
I’ve heard many women say Ochocinco is ugly as hell, but I love his face.
I find him so NOT good looking… maybe because I have a hard time separating physical attributes from what I know/perceive of personality traits. But yeah, no can do for Ochocinco…. which is strange because I usually crush on men with strong, manly features.
I think a lot of people are discussing “girl problems” here. Real pretty girl problems occur because of the way society treats them for being attractive. So by definition, these are the girls that the vast majority of people find attractive. Jessica Biel isn’t my type at all, but I wouldn’t argue about her attractiveness.
Seeing how I went through a Rudy Huxtable phase in my life from 7th-part of 11th grade I’ve always viewed pretty women as having it easier. From high school memories I remember pretty girls never had to worry about finding a date b/c the majority of guys would be more than willing to take them somewhere even if they thought the girl is shallow as hell. Just being seen with her is enough. I do classify myself as pretty girl now, but due to my Rudy Huxtable phase I still rely on my personality more than anything. I will say that no matter how attractive you are you still face the same problems as Myrtle Urkle, but it’s probably worse because in the back of your behind you’re just thinking “I’m too pretty for this s**t to be happening to me!”
@LoveB_Jones
“Seeing how I went through a Rudy Huxtable phase….”
“….but due to my Rudy Huxtable phase”
(Obvious question follows) What is a “Rudy Huxtable phase”????
She was cute as a kid but not so cute in adolescence (just a guess)
I think she means the opposite…
um…while i dont know what she means exactly, Rudy is bangin’ now so that whole “cute/not cute” thing is irrelevant. lol
I think she meant her “awkward” phase during her pre-teen (?) years that I’ve heard about. Then again, I always thought she was adorable. *shrug*
yeah, the vsb analogy/descriptive phrase committee has officially vetoed this inappropriate use of “rudy huxtable phase”
Well in my opinion a Rudy Huxtable phase is when you’re cute as kid, then when you hit your teens you go through an awkward looking phase, then you grow out of by the time you get 16/17. Damn, I guess I’m the only one who uses this phrase…lol.
damn, i’m so conflicted right now.
on the one hand, i want to ask PJ if based on the last two posts he is a) falling for a crazy, light skinnt, pretty chick with a few problems he’s not sure he can look past based on the chex alone; b) dipping into the crazy, light skinnt, pretty chick portion of his pr0n; or c) contemplating the potential issues that baby PJ will face.
on the other hand, i want to ask PJ why he felt Halle Berry (at least he used a pic from the first nose job) was the appropriate photo to use in this post. what? pretty girls can’t be chocolatey?
good thing i just realized that my pimp hand has a firm grasp on the contrived.
Please don’t hate on us light skinnt chicks. lol
I think he used Miss Berry because even though she’s gorgeous she can’t seem to “keep a man” as folks like to say…
+1. Halle is the definition of the girl (PJ has been talking about) in the last two posts.
oh, i get that 100%. i guess i was just like, “oh halle berry. is she really the poster child for pretty women with problems?” maybe i wanted to see a photo of jennifer aniston?
“oh halle berry. is she really the poster child for pretty women with problems?”
Uh, yeah, she kinda is.
dude, imma need a definitive answer. you see the mess i started here. is she or is she not? or is she “just the tip”?
LOL, I thought the same thing about the pic of Halle. I was like “that’s definitely a pre-final nose job” pic.
And not that wasn’t a dig at her. If you want to get something fixed, do it. So no hate…
(you know…she’s pretty so I had to make the declaration of no-hate.) LOL
i’m glad we are on the same page. lol.
“on the other hand, i want to ask PJ why he felt Halle Berry (at least he used a pic from the first nose job) was the appropriate photo to use in this post. what? pretty girls can’t be chocolatey?”
If he had used a dark skin girl would you have asked why she couldn’t have been light? I think girls obsess over color way more than men actually do. He used Hale Berry bc she’s universally pretty. Duh!
I agree that Halle is universally pretty but I definitely think that men obssess over skin color more than women. Maybe I’m biased because I have a darker skin tone but a lot of men are always screaming about those “long haired, thick red bones”.
*Disclaimer* No hateration here, just my personal observation.
I really can’t tell you who is more obsessed with skin tone, men or women. I just chalk that up to ig’nant folks.
yea, I have seen it on both sides. Us light-skinned brothers get squeezed tho -> lotta sisters just aren’t into us. whereas for light-skinned sisters, you’d be hard pressed to find a man that finds that as a negative.
@lsq
i cosign with only 1/2 this statement.
sadly. in MANY cultures (visit India) there is a caste system where the closer you are to white the better you are considered. but i disagree with light-skinned brothas not getting love. in fact, IN MY EXPERIENCE..they get the MOST love – which makes em cocky ***holes – which might mean some dont pursue them because of preconceived biases and assumptions. i’m not light skinned, but i think it’s probably even for lighter shades of women and men.
i wont lie, i’m one of those girls. then again.. are light skinned dudes hollering at me? not usually. so what comes 1st..chicken or the egg?
im hungry.
LSQ
” Us light-skinned brothers get squeezed tho -> lotta sisters just aren’t into us”
Please. I have to contest this as a dark-skinned brotha. You all never experienced anything like the 1980s. Even now you may not be as dominant but you but you’re still winning.
I’m sorry but round these parts, the dark skinned brothas are in demand. There on back-order.
they’re…
in my entire life, I have yet to meet a dark-skinned brother ever agree with me on that. not sure why.
because everyone experiences their own reality.
if morris chestnuts sees boris STAYING WINNING….
IDK about women not being into light skinned men. I think men of all skin tones get to shine in the spot light.
I was moreso referring to who thinks skin color is more important. I believe Black women care about their own skin tone more than men do. Why else would Bumilla make such an unnecessary statement by dissecting another womens blackness?
Color-struckness might depend on region though(or generation) bc I don’t think it’s as bad as other ppl make it out to be. Oh, and were you quoting a rapper or ppl you actually kno in that last statement?
*I believe Black women care about their own skin tone more than care about their(women) skin.
“Maybe I’m biased because I have a darker skin tone but a lot of men are always screaming about those “long haired, thick red bones”.
eh. i’d say that black women talk sh*t about light skinned men more often than black men praise light skinned women.
Negative. I’m team yella-fella all the way. I don’t go about telling random black men who don’t pass the paper bag test that they don’t pass the paper bag test. At least on a weekly basis, I have some misguided darker brother either fetishizing over my skin tone (caramel) or claiming up and down that I must be mixed with something, as if I didn’t know my own daggone family lineage. And these dudes run the gamut from working class to middle class, educated and otherwise.
And I’ll agree with you.
Maybe I haven’t been in the US for long enough (10 years), but I have never really heard/experienced this whole “men prefer light-skin girls” conundrum that is much documented over the Internet…
What I hear more in real life is a lot of women wanting a tall, dark and handsome man…
Is this famed “men prefer light-skinned women” a sort of like “a lot of black men are marrying white women” phenom or “too many black men on the down-low” situation? Meaning it’s much ado about nothing really?
In moderation? What y’all got against me now?
I love how you simply tell it like it is! #no.b.s.
@Sula
“Maybe I haven’t been in the US for long enough (10 years), but I have never really heard/experienced this whole “men prefer light-skin girls” conundrum that is much documented over the Internet”
I would go far enough to say that it can often be the mindset of a lot of “young” men in many southern states. Well, at least back in my high school days.
(CNotes throwing rocks at Mr. Moderation) Hmph!
“I think girls obsess over color way more than men actually do.”
i agree with you, unfortunately. it’s because girls are way more conscious of their looks, and they’re more concerned about their perception of how many people think they’re attractive. so i understand why a dark or brown-skinned black woman would be hyper sensitive to the issue, because those traits aren’t valued the way they should be.
all these tanning salons make me wonder why women think men prefer the skin tone. I’m gonna say something stupid: I don’t think guys who like light-skinned women like them for the lack of melanin.
@Jane Doe
Thank you. Some people confused my comment to mean black women are more color-struck. I should have used the term color conscious.
I understand that women may think more about their looks, but as a dude that doesn’t die for a light skinned women I get kind of sick of hearing about how I am supposed to love light skin, mixed, and white girls all the time. Light skin/dark skin issues need to die NOW. It so immature to me.
For everybody: LIGHT SKIN AND DARK SKIN ARE NOT RACES. WE ALL BLACK!
i really did not mean to take this to a “light skinnt beauty” conversation. but your comment is salient so i will say this about myself- obv, i’ve outed myself as a chocolatey female but i don’t feel any extra need to throw shade at honey hued black women. i know i’m still cute so i’m good.
but second, your point about women being sensitive to or aware of details like skin tone because of our overall judgeyness on appearance is 100% spot on. and it’s probably why i brought it up to begin with. PJ was prolly thinking, who is a pretty girl with problems? oh, halle berry! and i’m sure she was the first google hit as well.
“He used Hale [sic] Berry bc she’s universally pretty. Duh!”
i’m not disagreeing with that at all. as i stated above, i guess i was reacting to ms. berry being the universally accepted poster girl for pretty women with problems. of course, i know pretty women with problems come in all different colors. naomi campbell is another flavor.
yeah, but am i really supposed to dig really deep to make sure i’m handling all of the proper social weight of chosing a picture to ensure that i’m not condemning an entire set of women?
it aint that deep. lol. its halle berry. everybody knows her. the last time i thought about naomi campbell…hell i never do.
-______________-
Cheekie giiirrrlll that’s the same face I made. Halle is Halle. She’s universally bad and the post is about pretty girls. And it’s a problem that PJ chose her picture. Just can’t win for losing with some folks smh.
lol. i feel so honored, cheekie.
this is so not a lightskin/darkskin issue. this post isn’t even about pretty black girl problems, so it’s a race non-issue as well.
obv halle is the poster girl for pretty girl problems. or a pretty girl with lots of problems.
sigh.
hi liz,
i know this isn’t a melanin based problem. this post could feature a 1960s elizabeth taylor. or maybe lucy liu, who i also hear is cray cray.
i was just picking on halle. i’m a light skinnt hater. you all caught me. to quote ani, everyone habors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.
xo
p.s. i’m not really. i think she’s effing flawless. but honestly my first reaction was “oh halle why are you the first one that comes to mind when people think pretty girls with problems?”
Liz. that’s two days in a row. you really do love me. flaws and all.
LOL. Don’t get used to this.
i won’t. i know better. im sure you’ll be waiting to throw me under the bus very soon.
Hmm.
umm…
i don’t understand why women have a problem with the light-skinned women in our community. it’s not your fault how much melanin decided to be present in your genes. i know just as many men who obsess over “chocolate” and “brown skinned ladies” as much as lighter ones. if anything, men who like fair skinned women are shamed into not saying it or judged heavily because of the stigma attached, but if you love brown skinned women or a ebony hued women, you can shout it from the mountain tops.
halle (and beyonce for that matter) are considered universally pretty. i think that’s pretty much the end of it. no need to make mountains out of halle berry pics. but that’s just my opinion.
how dare you say beyonce and halle in the same sentence.
blashphemy!
beyonce is not cute. no really. she isn’t.
i thought she was super cute in the nintendo commercial she did a while back. *shrugs*
beyonce (IMHO) would be a 6/7 back home (Louisiana). without the weave/makeup/bras/clothes/ she is regular.
just google “beyonce without makeup” or “beyonce without weave” for evidence.
but of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are some that think nikki minaj is cute.
omg… she’s def a 5-6 plain. stringy hair in LA is a no-go. we do thick hair in The Boot!
THANK YOU!! When did this post become about light-skin pretty chicks…and why light-skin pretty chicks have to be crazy. o_O
SFG..you ARE crazy.
CRAZY IN LOVE!!!
hahahahahaaa…
wait.
just funny to me?
carry on.
True.
Cause pretty chicks tend to be crazy, light skindeded chicks tend to be crazy, and chicks with a pulse tend to be crazy. A lite bright pretty chick is the perfect storm of crazy.
“A lite bright pretty chick is the perfect storm of crazy.”
wow. SFG is going to cut you. godspeed, man.
Just saying, if a description has three different adjectives associated with crazy, there’s a pretty good chance that whatever it’s describing is Knutz.
N*gga whoooo da fcuk is youuuu….*flings shank* Okay but I’m fancy doe.
1. i can not speak for the rest of the community but i do not hate light skinnt girls. some of my best friends and coworkers are light skinnt, etc.
“halle (and beyonce for that matter) are considered universally pretty. i think that’s pretty much the end of it. no need to make mountains out of halle berry pics. but that’s just my opinion.”
2. i see that i made a mountain. i guess i didn’t have anything better to do last night when i read this post.
some of my best friends and coworkers are light skinnt, etc
I was going to overlook this entire thread, but did you just make the “but I have black friends” argument? Bwahahahahaha! It was too classic to let it go.
y’all women are a trip. i picked halle b/c to most of us she’s pretty and she has a lot of perceived problems. period. i didnt purposefully pick a pre or post nose job pic. hell, i didnt even know she had a nose job. i don’t care. i didnt pick her b/c she’s light skint. i picked her b/c she’s halle berry. and everybody on this site knows who she is.
ive never said anything about darker skinned women not being pretty. i know legions of dark skinned pretty women. but i’d also have to surf thru facebook to find them since basically, most of hte chicks in hollywood are light.
further, to address your first set of questions: the psychoanalysis of whats going thru my mind couldnt be any more wrong. like you’re so wrong you might want to purchase property in wrongsville. yesterdays post…came b/c of a convo i had with a homegirl who quoted the song and we had a good laugh at it before i told her why it was ridiculous. she commented in that post yesterday. that post was the written down version of the convo we had.
todays post…lol. at 1140pm last night, i had nothing. NOTHING. as i feverishly attempted to come up with something write about, i happened to look at TV and saw a pretty chick and sent the words, “damn she’s hot” thru my mental register and 10 minutes later this post was done.
i find humor in the fact that you tried to determine what issues i have going on in my own head and personal life inspired my posts and what the greater message and image i’m trying to send are, but the fact is, there’s no “there” there. it aint that deep.
halle is pretty. period. plain and simple.
“y’all women are a trip.”
but are you not entertained? is this not why you are here?
“i find humor in the fact that you tried to determine what issues i have going on in my own head and personal life inspired my posts and what the greater message and image i’m trying to send are, but the fact is, there’s no “there” there. it aint that deep.”
i feel really good about having been *this* wrong at 1AM last night when it clearly felt so right. good thing I took a shower shortly after wards.
No, we don’t have it harder! LOL, I’m not a self proclaimed pretty girl. In fact, I’ll say that I’m a little bit above average and I like it that way. I realized a while ago that when you’re too much of ANYTHING (pretty, nice, good at _______~insert random adjective here~) people tend to hate. Now, while I don’t live my life for the opinions of others, there are certain things I’m not willing to deal with, so I fly under the radar (so to speak) I don’t go out in full make up, dressed to the nines daily. I just like to be me…understated.
That said, pretty girls do have problems that others don’t. People tend to think that pretty girls are stuck up, stupid, self-centered, gold-diggers, etc. And honestly, the better you look, the more confidence people think you have. But looks and confidence aren’t a hand-in-hand combo. I’d say that most pretty people are insecure because they don’t have the outlet to express their physically insecurities without folks rolling their eyes and thinking their “lying” or “downplaying” themselves in some way.
And women are the WORST haters on the planet. Don’t be naturally blessed with a body or a face that is the envy of all people. You’ll have to deal with women being catty for nothing more than you looking the way you do.
What I will say that people don’t consider too much is this: Some people work HARD to look the way they do. A lot of people go around thinking celebs are these naturally atheistically pleasing people, but many, many, many of them have had surgery to enhance themselves. Is that a bad thing? No, not at all. But, my point is that if you value your looks that much, then there’s always a way to look better given enough time, money and effort.
And on the scale of high quality problems, I’d say this one ranks high. Besides, I’d rather have above average woman problems than unattractive woman problems any day.
“And women are the WORST haters on the planet. Don’t be naturally blessed with a body or a face that is the envy of all people. You’ll have to deal with women being catty for nothing more than you looking the way you do. ”
^I never understood that by some women. I remember women saying “she think she cute” about another woman and I’d always say “Dayum. Ain’t she supposed to think she cute?!” What’s wrong with self-esteem? Then you have the women who want to fight/jump a pretty woman to make them ugly. It’s sad.
^Ain’t = Isn’t ….and yes, I unashamedly slip into the vernacular at the appropriate times.
Hearing us say this to each other pisses me off. Is she supposed to dress nice AND then think she’s ugly? #backwards
Hell, I want all of us to “think we cute.”
l_s
“I remember women saying “she think she cute” about another woman and I’d always say “Dayum. Ain’t she supposed to think she cute?!” What’s wrong with self-esteem?”
EXACTLY
LMAO. “She think she cute” should be a drinking game in and of itself. Because, YEAH she do supposed to think she cute. You should, too. And you and you and you
get a car! What she shouldn’t think is that she is too good for anyone even being in her orbit (basically, being the hole of an arse)… but thinking she cute? Nah… go for it.Thinking you cute and thinking your shat shouldn’t be flushed down the toilet like airbody else’s ain’t necessarily synonymous.
“That said, pretty girls do have problems that others don’t. People tend to think that pretty girls are stuck up, stupid, self-centered, gold-diggers, etc. And honestly, the better you look, the more confidence people think you have.”
Yeah, I actually think this is the height of their problems. Assumptions made about pretty girls ARE rather unfair. Not all of ‘em are stank bishes, a lot of them are actually pretty nice. And I mean genuinely so.
And, that word “confidence”… is definitely more likely to be replaced with “b*tchiness.”
“I’d rather have above average woman problems than unattractive woman problems any day.”
lolol. preach.
*co-signs with sharpie.
Co-sign on the gold digging. Dudes always feel the need to tell me what they do and how much they make in our first conversations. I always feel like I’m having a resume recited to me.
i do think pretty girl problems are real…those coupled with upbringing/neighborhood/things you see around you etc makes it even worse
i grew up watching them with my own eyes… my older sister falls into the ‘everyone that meets her talks about how beautiful she is’ category. men, women and even the children like to be around her and look and all that.. she has been married 3 times and is currently single.
from what i see on the outside looking in is men mostly just want to experience, own/posses her. not really get to know her or grow with her. that coupled with being raised by our now 94 yr old grandmother who pounded in our heads that the reason my father left was because my mother was too witty, independent and emasculating and the way to keep a man is to make sure you look good, take care of him and your home and do whatever he needs you to do. sounds good for 1935 abuela but not the 90s. so she got burned over and over again. do i think it would have happened if the beauty stick didn’t beat her about the face and body so much.. not at all… that chica got pretty girl problems..
and she really is a sweetheart (i’m not just saying that either)
If ever there was a post in which VSB regulations re: statements made w/out visual proof need to be enforced, this is it…
Humble_One, I hope you’re out there, holmes…all kinds of violations are gonna take place today. LOL
“Humble_One, I hope you’re out there, holmes…all kinds of violations are gonna take place today. LOL”
Right?! I was reading through this entire post all, “This is HUMBLE’S post.” LOL
I was finna say too….a lot of folks up in this hollering “…I’s got pretty girl problems…” a.k.a a bunch of me too’s, without nary a pic or certificate from C.O.P.P’s (Council of Pretty People ®)…lol. Hard to validate or empathize without a visual.
#Imjustsaying
!!!!!died at
C.O.P.P’s (Council of Pretty People ®)…
trademark and all.
Yes, the trademark was it. Wasn’t that a Family Guy episode?
Yes when Peter became “hot” …. I <3 Family guy
“C.O.P.P’s (Council of Pretty People ®)”
Registered and everything! LOL!!!
*giggling*
i want a tshirt that says Council of Pretty People ®
(so i have something to work towards as im NOT currently a member of said council)
LMAO…I thought of this too. Like, uhm…that’s not verifiable without a pic. Period!
You asking for visuals and no one’s seen a pic of you yet! Yeah you may not be who the topic is about…but don’t ask for something and you not willing to do the same.
Umm yeah DG can you at least get a gravatar or something lol….ijs
Hmmmm….but yet when the post comes up talking about wang sizes, none of the guys want to put up proof pics. It goes both ways homie. LOL~!
“Hmmmm….but yet when the post comes up talking about wang sizes, none of the guys want to put up proof pics. It goes both ways homie. LOL~!”
of course the chick from Cincinnati had to start talking about d*cks.
You know how us Cincinnatians do. You’ve been to Annies
(you should also know I carry a shank for gp)
@DG
Word. I’ve already counted about 10 violations already. I’m going to need VSB to help police this blatant disregard for VSB law.
I’m going to need VSB to help police this blatant disregard for VSB law.
SAYS THE BOT.
*hmph
pretty much
lol i knew someone was gonna say this. for personal reasons i choose not to have my face all out on the internet…but i have no reason to come up in here and front, so yall can believe what i say. or not, if you really don’t want to lol
that is true. i was going to actually stipulate that any chick who comes in here and says she’s pretty needs proof. lol. can’t be popping off and venting about how hard you have it as a pretty chick if you look like chewbacca with a perm…which i guess would be Cousin It??
It’s a double edged sword. The pretty girls who don’t define themselves by their looks, won’t want to post their pictures to prove this point, even though they want to comment.
Also one would be welcoming critique by commenting about how pretty one is and then posting a pic, LOL. cuz if you say you are, someone has to say you ain’t.
DOUBLE EDGED indeed
“can’t be popping off and venting about how hard you have it as a pretty chick if you look like chewbacca with a perm…which i guess would be Cousin It??”
*dies a slow and humorous death*
Methinks every dude should have a pic showing his entire face, sans hat or any other covering.
And shoot, there are people who I thought were a’ight, and a few dudes thought were pretty, and people I thought were pretty that dudes thought were a’ight. There are few people who are universally pretty.
I’m just saying!
Y’all do like CaribeanQueen and get to it pronto!
lol i had to leave lurkdom to say thanks for the shout out!
and yea get like me VSS’s!
*goes back to studying for midterms*
“Trois”, you gonna throw the cupcake at the conceited chick Before or After you’ve struggled to eat it?^^ jus askin…
I dont think its any mystery that pretty girls have problems, and I’ll concede, arduous ones at that…but when you consider the various other phyla of women undergoing mass amounts of disrespecognization…do the problems of Betty Boop really outweigh those of Ugly Betty?
I mean, there’s a triage system in place…and Pretty girls just aint the priority.
What about the “Forever Gon’ Be Average” chick? The chick who’s just one physically vapid, fanny pack full of “eh.” Couldnt give a guy a jumpin’ jimmy if she shot optic blasts of Cialis directly at his zipper…and at least ugly girls get cool nicknames like, “Whoopi Goldberg,” FGBA chick aint even noticeable enough to get that type of attention. Might as well be a splash of white paint on a white wall. *sigh*
…or, “The Big Girl w/ Little Girl Ornaments?” I mean, one of the benefits of being a big girl is the surplus of T & A, right? I couldnt even begin to fathom the anguish knowing my knuckle-fat needed a bigger bra size. I mean, Jesus gave you all that extra skin…he couldnt bother to slide some in your panty-drawls? Thats just cruel. Its okay, baby, Im here for you.
..or, my Gawd, the worst of all, “The Ugly Girl Who Think She Got Pretty Girl Problems” …inarguably the most conflicted animal in the jungle. (I’ve always imagined Kim Wayans had this problem.)
These are the girls I shed tears for. Sorry pretty girl. I dont hate you…I just know you’ll be okay.
You sir, are a certifiable mess…and I kinda like it.
hajipaji
ur writing gives me the giggles… carry on sir, carry on
Reading this was he!!a enjoyable!
Leave poor Kim Wayans alone. She’s redeemed herself now by writing really nice children’s book.
“Big Girl With Little Girl Ornaments” … ActuaLOL. My laughter is about to get me fired. Thank you, sir.
“..or, my Gawd, the worst of all, “The Ugly Girl Who Think She Got Pretty Girl Problems” …inarguably the most conflicted animal in the jungle. (I’ve always imagined Kim Wayans had this problem.)”
*DIES*
But, yeah, I can’t even lie… apparently this is runnin’ rampant…
YES, there are much more serious problems than PrettyGirlitis.
You’re a fool for all of this btw, LMAO!
(WTF is a panty-drawl?)
…one leg hole of the panty-drawls.
I don’t think either Whoopi or Kim are ugly but I know I’m a distinct minority with that one.
I don’t think so either!
I cant separate Whoopi from Celie.
I cant separate Kim Wayans from Tracy Chapman.
Lets just say, their unapologetically outstanding character portrayals have resonated so deep within my brain that I just cant see the distinct etherial beauty in which they both seemingly exude.
*drives off in fast car*
“The Ugly Girl Who Think She Got Pretty Girl Problems”
Well I say let her think that of herself, as long as she’s not being an arse.
I mean, Jesus gave you all that extra skin…he couldnt bother to slide some in your panty-drawls .
I started off silently chuckling, and then it moved to a snort and then a full out chortle.
Congrats!
MURKED by hajipaji.
how could you kill me before my vacation????
I continue to have spontaneous fits of laughter @ “shot optic blasts of Cialis directly at his zipper.” So friggin’ funny!!!!
I’m so glad you comment on VSB!
I genuinely feel bad for the big bodies with small ornaments. That’s like having two seater SUV with no trunk space. Monique comes to mind.
these are all actually really damn funny. good job.
“Jesus gave you all that extra skin…he couldnt bother to slide some in your panty-drawls?”
this made me choke on my grits and honey
grits & honey??? like for real??
This whole post is he larry us…hahaha. Just like when you called the District 9 aliens “african shrimp” yesterday. Comedy, I love it!
I have died and resurrected like 110 times reading this post.
You’se a fool!!
I’ve always found the trick to hooking extremely pretty women is to act like you’re not impressed by their looks, and not THAT into them. The trouble comes when youve actually hooked them and youre faced with the fact that you do find them attractive and you hate all the attention they get (especially when they know it). I can’t not have the upperhand. LOL
touche?????
lol
womp womp womp. lol.
moral: dont play games?
#noshots
#yesiusehashtags
i’m a chic. and i like the way you think. sometimes…it’s a battle out there.
If they fail to graduate from pretty girl to beautiful woman, they can get pushed out the car at the first patch of grass or pile of snow after sex, just like the only pretty because of my beer goggle girls.
Lot’s of things to do with Tyra, none of them include conversation.
Kind of sad though
Yep.
My mama gave me a lesson very early in life and it always stuck with me. I was looking in the mirror and I said I am so pretty. She immediately stopped me and said “Don’t say you are pretty it is ugly to say that” Now I cannot comment on the overall healthiness of that, but I never said I was pretty and always felt those that made that statement are kinda like people telling you they are ladies, or smart, or gangsta. The obvious normally does not need to be stated.
I think most would agree Beyonce is pretty (which I am going out on a limb and saying some of yesterday’s comments led to today’s post) but you never hear her make the declaration. Everyone makes it for her.
Anyhoo attractive women have a separate set of issues dealing with their appearance because there is so much value in it. You may have issues telling who is really your friend and who isn’t people just talk about you for no reason, etc and you also try to overcompensate by being extra nice to people, i.e. even when a monster face dude or just an a**hat hollas at you. You are still polite and say thank you instead of just being like “uhh for real? You’re wearing two different shoes and you think you can holla at me?”
I think the issues that one would have with other women is the most difficult aspect, since we tend to have a lot of hate in our heart against each other, but we are socialized that way so what can you do?
“The obvious normally does not need to be stated.” – Very true.
“you also try to overcompensate by being extra nice to people”
Yes. They become doormats because they don’t want people to say “oh, she thinks she’s all that”
i had this problem from about age 16 to about 23…i was super duper nice, even when it would have been well within my rights not to be. i got tired of doing all that when i realized that some people will STILL say “oh, she thinks she’s all that.” i’m still nice, but i’m not gonna kill myself anymore or feel bad when people misunderstand me.
I have a really smart mouth (I’m sure that’s not a surpise to folks on here) and when folks would come with the “she think she’s all that” comment I’d say “yes, I do and you hate it cuz you think it too.” No one really every said anything to me in the way of the foolishness again. This was a high school phase where I said that, but the point is??? Folks think something and then want to project it onto you and have you refute it so they can feel better about themselves. I’m not now and never have been into playing those games.
You can say you’re pretty…you can think you’re pretty. The trick is not to REST on that characteristic alone. It’s like the self-proclaimed nice guy…who is always at a loss because he doesn’t understand why women don’t want to date him because he’s so nice. Problem isn’t his nice-ness. It’s the lack of ANYTHING else of value that makes him undateable. Insert pretty girl for nice guy and it’s the same thing.
Well rounded girls rule the world…I should know. I’m one of them
“yes, I do and you hate it cuz you think it too.”
*like*
@Mo-VSS
“Well rounded girls rule the world…I should know. I’m one of them”
Cosign 200%. I look at well rounded women the same way guys look at video vixens or pretty girls period. IMHO well rounded chics are the hot chics.
I agree, I was going to comment on the fact that pretty women probably feel obligated to be extra nice to people. People are always looking for something negative to say about the pretty girl, and since they don’t want to look like a hater by calling her ugly when everyone else is saying how pretty she is, she better not ever come around without being bubbly and extra nice to people, especially other women. If she didn’t, then she would be “that stank girl who thinks she’s the shat because she’s pretty” or the more loosely thrown around term “stuck-up” I mean…how many times have you ever heard anyone call an ugly girl stuck-up?
hehehehe I have called ugly girls stuck up. Only for just cause tho.
I agree with hajipaji, about the Forever Gone be Avarege chick. It’s almost like being that skin colour between light and dark, you are not light enough to get light skin points nor dark enough to be considered exotic and mysterious.
I know!!!
*cries for my fellow caramel sistas*
…
*shrugs and eats a Twix*
“not light enough to get light skin points nor dark enough to be considered exotic and mysterious”
hilarious
Wait I musta missed something…when was dark considered exotic and mysterious?
When Grace Jones and Naomi hit the scene.
I guess it is strange that black people would find dark skin “mysterious”…
I have got to ask this.
When has being dark skinned ever stopped women from getting a man?
Great question
When has being dark skinned ever stopped women from getting a man?
I don’t think dark skinned ever stopped someone from getting a man, and I also don’t think that was the inference. I think he was saying that people that are neither dark or light don’t get “points” for their skin.
I’m one of those inbetweeners that wishes I was chocolate!
drats! typos.. sh!t…
dark skin*
It hasn’t…and for the life of me, I don’t understand why folks think it does. Because for every man who likes the light-bright and wavy, there are plenty others who want the dark-skinned and natural/wavy/permed/braided/insert hairstyle here girl.
Real talk!
poor chicks that just “exist”. lol
also, people presume tat you have no problems in life in any arena. they make comments like, “of course you can get a job/loan/man…. just show a little leg.” Maybe pretty girls don’t want to show someone a little leg or wink flirtatiously to get what they want!
Also, people assume you’re mentally ill or batsh*t crazy if you’re single. “There must be something wrong with her if she can’t get a man. She must chew babies for fun.”
i liked this post. Good stuff.
Yea, why do people always gotta make assumptions about someone else’s single status?
She must chew babies for fun.
*DIES*
She must chew babies for fun.”
*had to re read that line a couple of times …..cuz apparently was thinking of the wrong kinda babies…lol.
#damnspringfever
“apparently was thinking of the wrong kinda babies”
LOL! just nasty.
omg, bmore… really!?!?! that was your FIRST thought? smh.. lol
LMAO. i’m with you homey. well, i knew what she meant…but i know what you mean. lol.
A. MESS.
Sorry, I can’t climb on board with this one. Pretty girls have advantages that far outweigh their disadvantages.
Let smart, unattractive girls have their day on Jeopardy! You know they sat at home on prom night. Give them that one day to shine1
hater.
“Let smart, unattractive girls have their day on Jeopardy! You know they sat at home on prom night.”
Thanks for reminding me…
I am laughing but I’m really sorry if this is true…
At home doing summer college PHYSICS homework, no less.
My high school held its senior prom the day after graduation (weird!) so there was no embarassment come the following Monday at school (“Why didn’t I see you Friday night?”), since school was over.
Yeah, I know, it shouldn’t matter 29 years later. One of these days I’ll have a date to a formal dance….
How can I put this… pretty folks have it hard from the jump; it starts when they’re a baby (some). Who gets the most attention/affection: ugly baby or pretty baby. Y’all know its some ugly babies out there. Pretty baby is more likely to be played with, held, goo goo gaahed gaahed, and babysat. Now pretty baby can grow into to beautiful person or a manipulative monster. Ugly baby develops thick skin and a personality unless ugly baby was treated like pretty baby. Moral: depends on the development of the baby. Ugly or pretty, women (some) are going to have abandonment, daddy, superficial or self image issues. Its easier for the hunter to pick out those weaknesses and use them to their advantage. If you don’t have thick skin when these shenangins occur its like trying to battle without any armor.
mad insightful. who we are is who we’ve been.
{~~ doesn’t have “pretty” problems
{~~ has a heap of “smart” problems
{~~ imagines they’re similar
I don’t know, maybe I’m in the safe zone because I get more “cute” than pretty (I’ve gotten pretty and beautiful and all’at but as far as most of the time, it’s “cute”) so I can’t even say I have pretty girl problems. I think most of the attention (which makes sense… they’re dudes lol) I get is my body more so than my face.
The first set of cheeks definitely get attention because I smile a lot so dudes (whether they have homes or not) will try to holla, but it’s when their eyes travel downward that cause the goofy double-take and whatnot. I do have to say that oftentimes guys are surprised at my sense of humor. I think the baby face has a little somethin’ to do with that…
i co-sign alla dis cheekie.
and NO HUMBLE ONE I WILL NOT CONFIRM THIS STATEMENT WITH PICTURES.
#allcapseverything.
Cheekie,
On the objective beauty scale of attractiveness, you are what would be considered “middling”, that is to asy, ranking somewhere between a 5 to 7 on the scale. Hence “cute”. Anything beyond that puts a Woman into rarified beauty catergory; and I put it like that because that is the truth of the matter. Objectively beautiful Women are a scarce resource. Always have been, and always will be.
O.
K, thanks.
Ok this cracked me up. LMAO
@v renee
me too.
*still snickering
I’m aiight, so I won’t claim to speak for the “pretty girls” but as a nice looking, shapely woman I can only imagine what it would be like if the attention I received was amplified x2. Although pretty girl problems exist, the benefits far outweigh the costs. Additionally those ideal women helped me get free sh*t too, so I don’t hate.
From my observation of women that fit the ideal, none of them have been particularly nasty or b!tchy. When I watch the teeny bopper high school movies where they “pretty girls” are mean as hell to everybody- I just can’t relate. In my high school, those chicks woulda got beat down LOL.
I think your picture is very pretty!
well thank you much
You can speak for pretty girls!
WIP….me and my man (who secretly reads this blog over my shoulder) both enjoy looking at your face… we like it
not trying to seduce you or pull you into our family or anything… just saying
oh, kinkythanks girlI once date this guy that was a normal guy with normal friends , and a warehouse job. HE.WAS.SO.CUTE funny, sweet, considerate and with a smile to die for!!!!! I would have had ALL HIS BABIES…..
One day after an argument over something I cant even remember… he was like “You have to understand, guys like me dont get girls like you, none of my friends can belive I’m even dating you”. I felt like he wasnt aware of his manhood even though I tried to do everything to make him feel like one.
One night my ex of many years and I were gonna just go hang out. I came out the room in a little black dress..nothing over the top, I just wanted to look sexy for my man. He told me to go change becuase he said people were gonna be thinking “How did that guy get that girl?”. So everytime we went somewhere I ended up dressing down to make him feel comforatable, which messsed with my self esteem.
Another time after I argued with him on why I couldnt go to a party with him he was like “Why would I take a princess around all my hard head friends? I would end up havign to kick somebodys a$$” I felt more like a liability and less like a lover
Conversations like that pushed me more towards Alpha Males who make you feel like you are just “another dime” instead of someone special. Leading to make women feel like there is a shortage of men out there, when there really isnt (depending on where you live). Now were dealing with Diva dudes and married men, and all other types of unhealthy foolishness. When all we really want is someone to love us in baggy sweats and that little black dress.
I dont care how cute and jazzy I am on the outside, anyone who gets to know me knows that I have a heart of gold, will do anything for you and fry some bomb a$$ chicken lol. Average guys complain that pretty girls dont give them the time of day, but really what are they doing to keep us once they get a shot?
I am not a Diva…. I jut look like one!
**Whew I think I needed that, I just had a little personal revelation******
*****disclaimer****
I’m not saying I’m Megan Good / Gabrielle Union// Halle Berry fine… but I consider myself to be quite a catch
Ya that guy was super insecure. Guys generally like to show you off when you’re looking good- but I can agree with not around his friends though. No need to start drama and he knows his friends better than you, LOL. When I know I’m gonna be around other people’s boyfriends and what not, I try to be very casual.
OMGoodness, WIP thats another one! Let and above average chick come around a group of woman and thier men. They throw all kinds of shade! I’m like look, I’m not trying to steal your dude! I cant help it if when I get up to get something to drink my booty is eye level with everybody sitting down. What do you want me to do , sit in the corner????
I know how to dial it back around other people peeps, not that I ever have it turned all the way up lol. But women get kinda funny when there guy i around, I dont even go to certain peoples house for that very reason. I guess my point is, no matter how well you know how to carry yourself you cannot control other peoples eyeballs or self esteem.
LOL! Girl yes, when you have body you have to be super conscious of where your body parts are at all times. And I never want to relive the conversation “I don’t appreciate you bending over in front of Tyrone like that.” o_O
@MsMelissa!
“I cant help it if when I get up to get something to drink my booty is eye level with everybody sitting down”
This statement right here violates VSB law Article 1, Section 2.
You have to understand, guys like me dont get girls like you, none of my friends can belive I’m even dating you”.
You know this reminds me dealing with a guy that would talk about how his body just wasn’t good enough for him even though it was obvious that he hit the gym on the regular, it is definitely a turn off. I can see why guys don’t like it when a woman is constantly talking about all that is wrong with her.
MsMelissa – i liked this comment.
carryon.
Hello Ms, Melissa,
Analysis and reply below:
MM: I once date this guy that was a normal guy with normal friends , and a warehouse job. HE.WAS.SO.CUTE funny, sweet, considerate and with a smile to die for!!!!! I would have had ALL HIS BABIES…..
O: What you’re about to say validates what I’ve said previously upthread (Obsidian Maxim #21)…
MM: One day after an argument over something I cant even remember… he was like “You have to understand, guys like me dont get girls like you, none of my friends can belive I’m even dating you”. I felt like he wasnt aware of his manhood even though I tried to do everything to make him feel like one.
O:…that Vince Vaughn with tight Game, beats Brad Pitt with none – every single time.
Being a “really cute guy” means NOTHING to a Woman, if you also don’t have Game to go with it. You, my lady, are living proof.
MM: One night my ex of many years and I were gonna just go hang out. I came out the room in a little black dress..nothing over the top, I just wanted to look sexy for my man. He told me to go change becuase he said people were gonna be thinking “How did that guy get that girl?”. So everytime we went somewhere I ended up dressing down to make him feel comforatable, which messsed with my self esteem.
O: DLV to the max…SMH
MM: Another time after I argued with him on why I couldnt go to a party with him he was like “Why would I take a princess around all my hard head friends? I would end up havign to kick somebodys a$$” I felt more like a liability and less like a lover
O: SMH…more DLV on his part. Poor chap didn’t know he was sowing the seeds of his own doom…
MM: Conversations like that pushed me more towards Alpha Males who make you feel like you are just “another dime” instead of someone special.
O: Need I say more?
MM: Leading to make women feel like there is a shortage of men out there, when there really isnt (depending on where you live). Now were dealing with Diva dudes and married men, and all other types of unhealthy foolishness. When all we really want is someone to love us in baggy sweats and that little black dress.
O: Well now, you see, there is a shortage of Men, and there isn’t. There isn’t in the sense that there are many Men numerically around; but there isn’t when we control for those who have Game – Alpha Males – and those who do NOT. In that Women have a different kind of “vision” than guys do, they tend to focus or zero in on the former group, hence why we hear Women always saying “where are all the good Men?” and so forth. What they’re really saying is “where are all the Alpha Males?”. And by definition, they are in short supply, for a number of reasons.
MM: I dont care how cute and jazzy I am on the outside, anyone who gets to know me knows that I have a heart of gold, will do anything for you and fry some bomb a$$ chicken lol. Average guys complain that pretty girls dont give them the time of day, but really what are they doing to keep us once they get a shot?
O: This is a highly legitimate question. Just as Men need a good looking Woman in order to be interested, a Woman needs a socially dominant Man in order to be interested, and STAY interested. Simply put, your problem is the same as legion Women in our time: the vast majority of Men will simply have not GAME. Indeed, it has been theorized by quite a few Seduction theorists, that no more than a maximum of 25% of all Men you see will be imbued with the power of the Force. Sad, but true – most Men simply will not and can not get Game, for a multitude of reasons, be that a refusal to learn, laziness/lack of work ethic, to an inbred inability to get it (some of us are more “Game sensitive” than others). as the current sociosexual environment now frees up Women to select who they really want, they will find that finding Men with the requisite social dominance will become harder and harder to find, for a number of reasons.
Hope this helps put things into perspective.
O.
@O
Im gonna have to say you are right…
Alpha males are sometimes too much work, too much brain wrestleing , too many side chicks…oh sorry. Anyway, my thing is, you dont have to be the king of the village, but be proud of our hut (I’m gonna pretend like that is an old african proverb).
And what does DLV mean?
i feel like you need a hug.
*hug*
Awww yes I could use it (((hug))
***but dont mess up my lipstick**** j/k
“Place Tyra Banks on Jeopardy and we’re surprised she can spell her name without adding a heart to it.:
I don’t know about this one. Tyra is headed to Harvard’s Business School. Would love to take a class with her just to lurk and see if she has it to make it in a real business situation.
im glad you mentioned this. because you dont build an empire off of looks alone. she doesn’t NEED HARVARD. but i give her props for going.
while im aware she’s going to harvard business school TO TAKE A CLASS (she’s not getting an MBA people…lol), you cant really think anybody is assuming she’s a genius. you’d be surprised as hell if she was on Jeopardy and won.
She is pretty smart and savvy though.
hmm..
i thought she was enrolled in the program. but i also dont care enough to go google.
no one mentioned genius. and the people on jeopardy retain a lot of knowledge on random sh*t. plus there are different types of intelligences.
*shrugs.
^just like a chick. rationalization. lol.
thanks for the compliment sir cp3
“On the real though, do pretty girls have it hard?”
maybe the ones with no personality or brains. not bragging on myself, just sharing info, but i’m a very pretty girl. have been all my life, and i don’t struggle with any of these except number 2…and even that one is manageable. as a pretty girl, you just have to accept the fact that you have to be nicer and more down to earth than everyone else. if people still continue to hate, that’s their problem. we all know why they’re doing it.
number 1 is a problem if you have poor judgment. i’m an excellent judge of character (usually) so i can tell which guys are genuine and about something and which ones are not. for number 3, yes people will underestimate you, but that’s my favorite position to be in- the one where i surprise people with my greatness. lol. and like i said before, number 4 will affect pretty women who have nothing to offer other than being pretty.
Wow that’s alot of work. “nicER, MORE down to earth etc”
Why should anyone have to go out of their way to put wack mofos @ ease?
Cool peoples are cool people, regardless of aesthetics.
Folks that hate, “let their jeaously show like that”, solely based on someone else’s looks, have alot of personal problems, and it isn’t on anyone but them to work that out.
it’s true, it IS a lot of work. i don’t worry about it so much anymore, but it’s like when i walk into a room, i must acknowledge everyone with a smile. i must engage in small talk, even when i don’t give a sh*t. i must be nicer to the women than the men. and the list goes on. if i fail to do any of these things, i will most certainly be considered a b*tch by someone.
you just have to be extra cognizant of what you’re doing if you don’t want that to happen. often i make the effort, but i don’t break my back anymore. and some days i just straight up say F it, i’ma do me.
My point is you are allowing yourself to feel like you have to do that.
You have a choice in that. I make no apologies, nor do I downplay, or go out of my way. You cannot let what others might think of you control you. They’ll be awight either way, You can be niceR etc, and mofos still hate, still throw shade, still think you are a b*tch LOL.
Real cool kind peoples see and acknowledge other real cool kind peoples, all the rest, smeh.
you’re completely right
Your name changes are killing me.
lmao i know, i like Mary Jane though. i’m sticking to it.
IME, a lot of guys think if you’re pretty, you’ve got a boyfriend….story of my life….
They think you’re not going to be into the things they like–I’m a geek, and I like all sorts of geeky things, and I don’t do it for male attention.
I watched “V” this season faithfully and my last job was the stuff that nerds are made of. I love all kinds of much from Amos Lee to JT Money…. I am a regular chick who sleeps in a bonnet and dresses like a cat every Halloween. I am goofy and an undercover pervert. I was in a play at church and I volunteer at the Childrens home during the Holidays. I have daddy issues and republicans get on my damn nerves. I bake the worlds best chocolate chip cookies, and miserably fail at putting furniture together. None of these things is part of some master plan to share my flyness with the world.
I am a regular chick who sleeps in a bonnet and dresses like a cat every Halloween. I am goofy and an undercover pervert.
Me all the way…
Pretty girls have internal issues. *Halle*
Every single human being has issues, internal, external, lateral etc. *Homosapien*
I love this!
i’m sorry…but you sleep in a bonnet? like little house on the prairie bonnet?
i just need to understand this.
JFC.
Do you know any Black women? Have you slept with a Black woman before? Like, in the bed. And stayed until morning.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
first off…just cuz you only used his intials doesnt mean Jesus aint reading that properly.
and what is this stay until morning you speak of? people do that?
i’m from the overnight scenario school of thought.
“just cuz you only used his intials doesnt mean Jesus aint reading that properly.”
LOL! ooooooh Liz
kindda— Yes. It just doesn’t have the lil ties
maybe i need to see a pic of this. i know chicks wrap up their hair and sh*t but i’m picture laura ingalls running thru cornfields with a bonnet on her head.
It’s like a silk shower cap. No Laura Ingalls.
LOL, I have one of those, but I never called it a bonnet….I was confused too….
ROFL…. yes a BONNET! Like a sleeping cap. If you have curls or a hairstlye that doesnt need to be wrapped you cant excatly sleep in a doo- rag.
~~~~ is my Miami showing? Oh….~
Not to say that I’m a pretty girl, but I can relate to some of these issues.
I’m a little person. And light skinned. And I work in retail as my day job. People think I’m an airhead. Nobody cares to find out what I studied in school, or what I really want to do with my life, or that I’m still trying to pay for school by working this job and picking up legal side hustles.
Nope. I’m just looked at as that “Other” looking black chick who has hair a ninja wants to pull.
Precisely why I hate dating. I can’t even tell anymore if someone’s being genuine or not.
I’m going to move off this topic so I don’t sound any more conceited than I’m already coming off, because I really think I look on the frumpy side. Carry on.
That is sad, i have experienced the same issues you cant really tell who is being genuine, and they normally dont care what you studied in school.Sometimes I feel like men see the slightest attractive thing on a female and it automatically looks likes a good time in the sack. Lord forbid you have the slightest sex appeal….
“I’m a little person. And light skinned. And I work in retail as my day job. People think I’m an airhead. Nobody cares to find out what I studied in school, or what I really want to do with my life, or that I’m still trying to pay for school by working this job and picking up legal side hustles. ”
****plays the smallest violin in the world for your woes****
LMAO.
ok lebron.
Hater. Little people are awesome. And I’d rather you play the Yazz Flute. Violins remind me of Russian Mice.
Clearly everybody has problems…
With that said, it is clearly more of an advantage to be “attractive/pretty”, than not. The benefits clearly outweigh the costs in this situation. People like to be around attractive people and attractive and attractive people tend to be able to do/get away with stuff that less attractive folks could only dream of.
It’s similar to studies they do on people’s response to taller men. Taller men get paid more on average than shorter men, and are more likely to be seen as leaders. Now, maybe this tall guy can’t go into the average department store to buy pants, but all the other advantages his height avails him to should be more than enough to console.
Face it, we all get stereotyped…so being “pretty” does comes with strings, but like someone said upthread — no one is going to consciously choose to be less attractive. You gotta take the bitter with the sweet.
Perfect Day just sounds like Jim Jones is as high as a kite…..
its just bad. lol.
There are costs associated to everything.
I love how some people, men specifically try to speak on how they think the benefits outweigh the costs, regarding beautiful ones. How the he11 would they know? LLS
b/c we provide most of the benefits to the hot chicks while not providing any to the busted ones.
Life is much bigger than that.
I wont deny that pretty girls have problems. All pretty girls don’t have them some do. You want proof? Follow pretty girls on twitter and pay attention to the tweets of highly attractive women. You follow these women and you will see 24/7 simping on their timeline. And they really don’t say anything of substance. While I do agree you can’t stereotype all pretty girls I am not going to front and say some of their “problems” aren’t true. If people have treated you a certain way based on your looks since a child it will shape your personality. You won’t know about being responsible or holding yourself accountable because you were always told “don’t worry your pretty little head”. Your opinions of men will be based on the ones you attract because more than likely if you look a certain way you will attract a certain type of man. Which may cause you more problems. But then again is it a problem if the pretty girl doesnt know its a problem?
these are all good points. smart comment.
HUMBLE ONE FOR THE WIN!
+1
Oh, I see this post going to go real wrong, real fast.
I’ma be over here, on the sidelines, chillin’.
*grabs a seat, passed miss-t-lee her bev of choice.
Thanks KB, I’ma sip this latte.
What would you like??
a mimosa would be lovely! thanks!
*Shows up late and unfolds lawn chair next to miss t-lee and KB. Opens tall boy and bag of pork skins. Strokes goatee.*
Sorry I’m late. Something came up.
Girl, it’s like Friday Night in small-town Texas… Football Night!
*munches on popcorn*
lol.
it’s well time for a proper meal
*fires up grill
Hi Panama,
As always, interesting topic, and one where we once again see the wonders of Human Sociosexual Dynamics at work. Remember boys and girls, it all comes down to this: passing on your genes into the future – EVERYTHING you do, either helps you in this goal, or hinders you in this goal. And if you do not understand these things, everything else you see around you in this world will only serve to confuse you.
Before I begin, please allow me to link to something I’ve spoken to before in this august forum; a published article in the New York Times, reporting on the results of studies and research as to what Men choose in short term and long term dating and pair bonding when it comes to Women:
For Long Term, Men Favor Face Over Figure
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/07/fashion/07STUDIED.html?_r=2&ref=fashion
As the article makes clear, Men have two major reproductive strategies – a short term one, and a long term one. In the case of the former, what matters most is a chick with a bangin’ bod; in the latter, what matters most is a chick with a really pretty face. From an evolutionary perspective, one may surmise that the latter is favored more in terms of LTRs and the like, because having a pretty face, ie symmetrical facial features, is one of the tell-tale signs of fertility and health, which all Men screen for when considering longterm mates. On the other hand, in the case of the former, more facially homlier yet possessing Cherokee D’Ass type bods (have you noticed her face? NOT attractive) makes a Man’s nature rise, but only for a time. In that the evolutionary mission of a Male is to give himself as many chances as possible to put his genes into the future, it would make sense that Women like Cherokee get a Man “hot” really quick; he does the deed and a minute or two later, it’s “On To The Next” as the song would say. What do such gals get out of the deal? Simple, they get to put their genes into the future as well, hopefully with a choice Male. History both ancient and modern, has shown that Choice Males have no qualms spending a night or three with the Cherokees of the world, even while they may have a Halle on their arm, at home, or the real chance of acquiring one.
Human Sociosexual Dynamics informs us that the mating dance is frought with tension and internecine squabbles; of course, the ways in which this all plays itself out depends greatly on the sex in question, Male or Female. Since this is about the travails of Pretty Sistas, we’ll focus on the fact, when it comes to Sistas, we can easily see that the Fairest among them have always been, and will always be, beset with fierce competition from their “lessers” in the round. Historically speaking, prior to the advent of liberating technologies such as Abortion on Demand and the Pill, coupled with increased educational and employment opportunities for Women, along with a lessening of social stigmas surrounding sex, single moms and Bastardy, being a very Pretty Sista – for our purposes of discussion since you PJ have her photo featured, Halle Berry – was a good thing. Why?
Because, back in the day as it were, a Halle could leverage her beauty in the sexual marketplace (SMP) of the time period; because all the aforementioned factors weren’t in place, she was able to maximize her longterm mating potential, which meant that she could choose from among the best suitors in the round, WITHOUT HAVING TO PUT OUT UPFRONT. In other words, the old days and the old ways, actually worked out better for the Halles of the world.
In our current clime though, where transient relationships, aka “Hooking Up”, “FWBs” and “Jus’ Kickin’ It” are now the coin of the realm, being a Halle puts one at a distinct DISadvantage. Why? Because while she may indeed be pretty, her “selling price” is now too high for the market to bear. Guys no longer fret about the prospect of a Double-O Buck Nuptual, and when it really comes down to it, which is better – one Halle, or half a dozen (or more; Black Men are reported as having more sexual partners on average than anyone else, according to CDC/NIH studies and surveys) Cherokees? Guys may say one thing, but the anecdotal evidence (among other things; more in a moment) tell a different tale, pardon the pun – in the end (again, my bad), Brothas, if they could, would much rather Bun n Run, then to go through the hoops of “wifeing up” a Halle, in our time.
Of course, the problem for the Cherokees of the world is the inverse of the Halles – she can get a guy to stick around for a night or three, but has trouble keeping for much longer than that, especially a guy with options out on the open market (ie, GAME). What she offers first and foremost, is short term mating potential and opportunities; in pure evo-terms, little else (since, in comparison to a Halle, she offers little in the way of increased status to a Man, ie, social connections, ie, increased resources). Put that together with the evolutionary fact that most Men have an aversion toward longterm pair bonding with Women they have reason to believe have ridden the Cock Carousel one too many times, and it all begins to make sense – the Cherokees of the world become something of a bad deal if you’re looking to go longterm.
But, since our current sociosexual environment doesn’t really support LTRs, marriage and the like anyway, she kinda wins out over the Halles of the world by default. She can meet her reproduction criteria, and do it in a time and age where there is little in the way of technological, legal, economic or social impediments. Halle on the other hand, is going to have an increasingly hard time trying to get Choice Guys, to commit, especially if she ain’t putting out pronto.
So yea, Pretty Sistas like Halle, most definitely have problems, for all the reasons laidout above, to say nothing of all the old saws we’re all too familiar with when it comes to the Plight of Black Women along these lines (lack of “eligible Men to go around, etc et al.).
But there is one more thing I’d like to add before signing off for today; and that is the following theory:
After giving the NYT “Faces Study” a goodly bit of cogitation, along with other observable phenomena in Black American life along sociosexual lines, it has occurred to me that one reason the out of wedlock (OOW) birthrate in the African American community may be so high, is because of the “short termers” like the Cherokees of the world being able to get a “boost” from the aforementioned massive changes in the SMP (Abortion/Pill, massive welfare state assistance, increased educational/employment opportunities, lessening of social stigmas wrt sex, single motherhood, bastardy, etc.) – because the environment no longer “pressed” people into longterm arrangements, the short term option was favored, even if unintentionally, which meant that more short term mating took place, and which resulted in the OOW birthrate that we see today in Black America. After all, we don’t use the term “wife up” to mean the gal with a 3 grill but a Dime behind, now do we? (And the term “jumpoff” almost always refers to the kinds of gals we’re discussing now.) It’s usually reserved for the Halles of the world. I submit that the Short Termers took advantage of this current social climate to meet their reproductive needs; and the guys who mated with them did also, though they didn’t have much intention of sticking around once the nut is busted. I haven’t conducted any scientific studies on this (perhaps the VSB crew will assist me here?), but if my theory is correct, many of the Baby Mamas we’ll see, will come a lot closer to Cherokee, than to Halle, facially I mean.
In summation, and to paraphrase that wise philosopher Biggie Smalls: Mo Beauty, Mo Problems.
Holla back
O.
“Guys no longer fret about the prospect of a Double-O Buck Nuptual”
Charming.
Sounds like you’re saying being pretty is like old technology LOL.
Hi WIP,
Well, in a way, it IS. Mind you, I am not putting a personal “spin” on any of this; I am trying to remain as objective about these issues as possible. Simply put, it is undeniable that the times in which we live do not “select” or “support” LTRs, marriage and so forth – and as the NTY “Faces” study/article clearly shows, that pretty faced Women were “built” for LTRs and the like. I think my theory wrt OOW births in Black America along these lines has legs.
What, say you?
O.
Oh no, I felt you were being objective. That was just my immediate reaction. But why, like you stated, the value of pretty is “high” in this scenario? If LTRs are less desirable, then why would pretty still be a valuable asset? It just is what it is?
Hi WIP,
You ask a very good question. I think the answer to it, lies in the way Men are wired, which is to select for the highest in youth and fertility cues, which all things being equal, Pretty Women (facially, now; recall the NYT article) represents. You have to understand, that while we live in a very modern world, from an evolutionary standpoint, we are where we were roughly 10K years ago, LOL. This is why we still do, Men and Women both, what we do along these lines.
Take for example, a concept I’ve referred to here and previously, the “Cock Carousel”, ie, a Woman who has had lots of sexual partners, usually with guys most would consider Alpha Males. Now, the thing is, the evolutionary reason why guys don’t particularly like to partner up with such a Woman is because of something known as Paternity Certainty – ever heard of the saying “Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe?” – well, if you have, you’e heard of this concept. Simply put, if a Woman’s known to have one too many sexual partners, a guy can’t be certain that the lil bundle of joy she brings home from the hospital is truly his or not.
But since those heady times on the African Savannah, we’ve come up with the Maury Test. I’m sure you’ve heard of that as well, LOL. and since it’s virtually 100% foolproof, we can reliably determine who’s the daddy and who is not, regardless as to how many guys Baby Mama done been with. But does that really matter to guys? No – and the reason is, that we haven’t evolved as a species past the whole “wiring against cuckoldry” thing behind us, even though in our time, we have modern technology that tells us what the deal is.
See what I’m saying?
Another example: all things being equal, Women prefer taller Men than shorter Men. Back in the day, this made perfect sense, because bigger guys tended to be stronger, which was a good thing to have around if you had little ones and you yourself simply wasn’t built to take on sabertooh tigers all by your lonesome. But in our time, where even a kid can fully operate an AK-47 or a Ruger 9mm pistol, being a tall guy is, from an evolutionary perspective, redundant. But does that mean that Women in our time are gonna start seeking out guys who can look Yoda eye to eye? To ask the question, is to answer it, LOL.
I say all that to say WIP, that old evolutionary habits die hard, and in this case, Men are hardwired to select for beauty in Women, all things being equal, despite the vastly changed SMP in our time. The trick though, is that the environmental conditions are such that, from the perspective of Pretty Women, being pretty doesn’t net them as big a reward as their “lesser” sisters. Ever heard of the really beautiful gal who never gets dates? I have – and a big reason why is to be found in what I posted earlier today. Also, a Pretty Woman gives a Man increased social status; for one thing, it makes it easier for him to mate with other Women, since he has proven himself worthy of attracting such a female in the first place, but it also be advantageous to him in other ways, as I’ve earlier indicated.
Think about it.
O.
ok this:
“Brothas, if they could, would much rather Bun n Run, then to go through the hoops of “wifeing up” a Halle, in our time.”
and this:
“Halle on the other hand, is going to have an increasingly hard time trying to get Choice Guys, to commit, especially if she ain’t putting out pronto.”
are both very arguable. too broad of generalizations. i can maybe see this being the case for alpha males, who have their pick of halles, but is it really the same for everybody else? idk. again, i hate to sound like i’m bragging but it’s kind of unavoidable for today’s post…i have no problems at all getting “wifed up,” with or without putting out, and i wouldn’t even put myself on halle’s level. i don’t think halles have issues because they’re too pretty…it’s because something else is lacking.
Hi Mary jane,
Yes, what you say wrt Alphas is undoubtedly true, and yes, we are indeed talking in braod generalized terms; yet. I maintain that what I am proferring here is broadly accurate. Your personal situation aside (and for the record, I take your word for it), I think we can see all manner of evidence for what i have said all around, if we but take the time to look. For Men, sex of just about any kind, is tough to come by (Alpha Males, who are at best, 20% of the Male population at any given time); sex with a verified Dime like Halle? The Holy Grail. Trust me when I tell you, that given what most Men’s situations are, they can and will aim for the Cherokees before they aim for the Halles. It makes all kinds of evolutionary sense.
i see what you’re saying
I’m not pretty, I actually look like Danny Glover but I can tell you that this post is funny and SPOT ON. lol I’ve done alot of waxing, used tons of face cream and got a brand new lace front so I’m moving on up…don’t hate. I do have tons of pretty girl friends so I can tell you some of the problems they’ve faced their entire life because we live in a shallow society.
* HATERS – read Black women. I honestly can’t even say white chicks cause I’ve never seen them openly hate. Maybe on the inside. Black women doe? LAWD. I aint cute. I aint funny. I aint sh*t and I need to saddown. Walking into a room full of Black women is like walking on stage at the Apollo (RIP). You better have a good act or you will get booed.
* Takers – everyone wants of piece of you. As soon as you start to grow up, men stay like wolves trying to get the goods. It makes you REALLY guarded and works against you. Men interpret your guard as b*tchiness or stand-offish. It makes it diff to distinguish the real from the fake so you lump all men in one category until you’re proven otherwise.
* Predators – When a man wants you, he’s going to interpret any body movement as a sign that you want him…even when you don’t. This can lead to alot of problems. I’m friendly but sometimes I just can’t be. Smiling too much can make me a target. Ya’ll know I went through somethings in life and I know it’s directly related to how I look and how friendly I was. Danny Glover look alike stock is on the high ya’ll.
Honestly, I don’t worry about looks. I much rather be smart than pretty and I like to be liked. No one wants to be hated. I’m not cocky or conceited. I’ve been looking at my face for 30 years and I see more flaws than anything. It’s just not a big deal to me. I think it’s the people that used to be unattractive then got fine that have more attitude problems.
I’ve been looking at my face for 30 years and I see more flaws than anything. It’s just not a big deal to me.
THIS!!!!
“I’m not pretty, I actually look like Danny Glover”-
you, miss SFG, have officially made me LOL this morning
You have seen never seen white brawds hate, or any none black brawds????
WOW.
Trust me they do, and they look at you with a smirk like this mix of disdain yet admiration, straight b*tches.
That is not exclusive to black and/or American women, haters are global just like cool people.
“Trust me they do, and they look at you with a smirk like this mix of disdain yet admiration, straight b*tches.”
White women invented cattiness. LOL
Um, in my experience, they do it internally. I grew up around white people my entire life. I live amongst them and work with them. They go out of their way to compliment you. They keep their jealousy inside. Black women are more blunt and in your face with it.
i might agree with this…as long as the white chick aint drunk. but white people keeping the hate on the inside is the reason Lifetime Movies exist. lol. they explode at some point and murder kittens then blame the butler.
LMAO! True. When white people get drunk and comfy with you….er’thang comes out. I have a white friend who would always compliment me on my hair color. Then one night, she’s drunk and telling me how my sh*t is too light in the front and dark in the back. o_O I just like the fact that they know to keep their ugly qualities in the closet.
Call ‘em fake or what have you, “others” don’t let it all out all the time. They’re not as opressed so they have less jealousy. When they see another white girl that looks good, they want to BE her instead of coming up with 5011 reasons why that pretty girl aint sh*t like Black girls do….again not all but def most as a culture.
They do hate, but they’re too scared to say it to your face because of the perceived attitude that black women have. Non-black women see a good looking dark skinned brotha (my bf) and then see me and think “her hair ain’t long enough…she ain’t light enough…this, that and the other….” to be with him. Too bad they don’t know that what I have, they can never duplicate with all the MAC makeup and a$$ implants in the world.
What is that “thing,” you ask??? Confidence in ME…the real me! The glammed up me, the dressed down me, the sick me, the happy me, the confident me, the insecure me….ALL of me. I don’t think I’m all that, but I do think I have it going on (contradictory, maybe??? lol) and anyone who doesn’t like it can deal with their own issues. Cuz folks who hate don’t hate you…they hate them.
“Cuz folks who hate don’t hate you…they hate them”
I love it! Consider it stolen.
Oooooh yessss that’s a good one. I’m stealing it!
Yes they compliment but those compliments are really snide digs. I work everyday with the queen of snide digs and this bish is old enough to be my mother!
“You have seen never seen white brawds hate, or any none black brawds????
WOW.
Trust me they do, and they look at you with a smirk like this mix of disdain yet admiration, straight b*tches.
That is not exclusive to black and/or American women, haters are global just like cool people.”
^THIS! Oh my gosh I have seen this! I have seen them follow a sistah with their eyes and ery’thang.
that bish racist. LOL
that too, and IMO that makes the jealousy a lil meaner if you will.
Like how dare you be black, (exoctic) beautiful, and fly.
I think it’s the people that used to be unattractive then got fine that have more attitude problems.
**co-sign**
“I think it’s the people that used to be unattractive then got fine that have more attitude problems.”
I can’t 100% agree with this…
For some “formerly” unattractive girls, it is hard to take compliments and believe someone isn’t mocking you when they say you’re pretty. They’ grew up being ignored for other girls and are skeptical when they are deemed desirable. You can call it a sort of “Beauty Inertia”, if you wish.
Low self esteem makes it easy for some sufferers of this condition to get played by guys that recognise their insecurity…
Beauty Inertia can be a force for good though: Said girl, growing up being told she’s not all that looks wise, chooses to focus more on her other positives. Time goes by, she grows into her looks and has more going for her than your standard pretty girl…
I’ve seen this too. Good point.
@SFG
“I’m not pretty, I actually look like Danny Glover”
GTFOH. You ain’t got to lie to kick it.
“I’m not pretty, I actually look like Danny Glover”
LMBO. i see what you did there.
LOL, me too.
“I’m not pretty, I actually look like Danny Glover”
You are so silly. Bwhahah!!!
I look like Morgan Freeman, btw
LMAO!! With a s.exy side eye.
*snickering*
I think it’s the people that used to be unattractive then got fine that have more attitude problems.
I don’t know, I would think that the sweet personality would develop and become who they are. It would take a lot to change a personality trait just because you went up some notches on the scale.
People with sweet dispositions don’t hate on any level. Think more about the girl who was ugly in highschool. All the guys tried her and no one wanted to be her friend. Then she gets fine. Now she’s got major attitude. I see it all the time.
Wouldn’t be a logical progression based on the dramatic change in her circumstances, and her perception of the dramatic change in how people (read: dudes) react to her now?
Yes. It’s like the skinny guy that got picked on in school, now he’s older and buff so he’s a jerk. It is natural I guess.
Wait a minute… wouldn’t that be a Diva Dude? A dude who was lame before but has game now and thinks that you HAVE to indulge him now?
I read your entire post out loud doing the best Danny Glover impersonation that I could. I just ended with “You ugly, you skinny, you shaped funny, ain’t nobody foolish enough to marry you.” and “I’m too old for this sh*t!”
Seriously, white chicks do hate on each other. I work in an office full of them and they went nuts when Jennifer Anniston was nekkid on the front of GQ. You just have to catch gringas in their habitat (the break room) to see them hate… sh*t I hate my job.
Lmmmaaaaoooooo.
Yes, they do hate. Just not as much as we do. Fact. lol
dont we mean self of steam issues doe?
no?
ok then.
carry on.
LMAO!!! Self of steam, still kills me.
Hot girls definitely have self of steam issues because they’re ya know.. hot. Ya know… steam…
*picks up briefcase and scurries away holding hat so it doesn’t fall off*
cheekie.
you know where im sending you right?
——————————————————————————————————>
Well, garsh!
*sniff*
*kicks errant pebble that didn’t even asked to be kicked*
This is funny cause Lincoln on thisisyourconscience.com just had a post the other day on how he DOESNT feel sorry for those with pretty girl problems. Interesting to see both posts.
i’ll have to peep that.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… i have seen some females that guys go just crazy for, but then you realize they are going crazy over that fly lacefront wig, dumbo eye lashes and a fake booty. I think that tru beauty shines first thing in the morning even with the eyeball crusties! ijs
YES. I think this is why it’s so easy for women to downplay other women’s beauty- sometimes the “oohs” and “ahhs” are really undeserved. I was watching Top Model and they had to put a booty on one of the girls. When you see people piling concealer under their eyes, it’s hard to be “wowed” by beauty. Most of what you see on TV is the creation of talented stylist, make-up artists, and Spanx. Women know that cuz- we using it too! That’s why it takes a lot for a woman to say- “oh, now she’s beautiful.”
The lacefront and lashes slay me everytime!
LoL! MsMelissa!
I hope this hasn’t been posted already, and I haven’t looked so I’m not sure… but one of my favorite quotes is from the 2007 film “Perfect Stranger”….
“you show me a beautiful woman, and I’ll show you a man that’s tired of phucking her” -Halle B.
Can we get a post on ugly dude problems and if their problems are real or not?
LMAO! I think we all agree and acknowledge that ugly dude problem are real.
How about we start with avatarial (made up? sure, I’m creative!) proof that you are a 1.5?
@Humble_One
For real, cause I got problems. 99 of them in fact. And a b*tch aint one, which ironically is the problem. Being a 1.27 aint easy. *sigh*
This comment is useless without pictures.
So Bo and Humble got a problem and it’s moving the decimal point to the appropriate place. He means 12.7. A brother of 12.7 quality is the e-boo off the homie, C-Notes.
“off” should be “of”
Yeah, a 1.27 couldn’t pull C-Notes, she fine! lol
Loving the e-sista love!! Thanks ladies.
i would but it would be too hard for me to write it seeing as how personal it is. being a 3 is some difficult sh*t. i’d spend too much time crying and never get around to finishing the post.
i just…can’t.
all men in this thread NEED. MORE. PEOPLE.
carry on.
Cept Peej. His rating is truth. He got a t-shirt and everything. And air-body know that when you have a tshirt, sh*t is official.
As the resident -1^1/2, I cosign. The silent majority needs a voice.
When a dude moves up a number (Say for instance when I move up from a stong 4 to 5) do we get a foursquare badge or something?
Ugly dudes don’t have problems. They have flaws that they need to correct. These flaws may in reality be their faces… but it’s still their responsibility.
Life, as it turns out, can be a cruel task master.
But this is the way of things.
wear shades
Not sure that works, ask for Lil Jon. (pause)
Naw, he just has to become a celebrity. All ugliness is forgiven when you’re rich and famous.
Your honor, I’d like to enter into evidence Exhibit A : the Hip Hop Industry
I think these issues apply to pretty boys too, especially the esteem issue. They are so used to getting by on their looks and manipulating women, but when they are in the presence of other men, they can’t pull the same stunts and they don’t measure up.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have an “eclectic” musical palate but when I read this post, I immediately thought of the following Ani DiFranco lyrics: ” ….God help you if you are an ugly girl, course too pretty is also your doom, cause everyone harbors a secret hatret for the prettiest girl in the room.” (32 Flavors)
“On the real though, do pretty girls have it hard? Or is it all just blown smoke?
Do pretty girl problems matter when so many busted jawns need our help?
Talk to me, VSB. What it is?’
Pretty Girl Problems?
The real problem is the abundance of ‘unpretty’ women walking around with falsely acquired ‘pretty girl’ problems as a result of these lame duck, trick @ss no game having n*gg@z inflating these women’s egos with high premium I-90 octane petral.
It appalls me to see these
gremlin lookin’ @$$ n*ggettesless than ‘attractive’ women (per measurements of western concepts/standards of beauty), carry on in life as if all the attention they garner is primarily due to their facial aesthetics and not(ironically) their hidden ‘sweet spots’.Regarding those gas attendant ninjas,(and I know there are some on here, and lurking)… if you wanna see whats under shortie’s hood and check her oil despite the the ‘buttaface’, fine. I’m witchya. Sometimes a fat bumper and bright headlights will make a n*gga wanna pull out the dipstick with the quickness. <— Look what I can do.
But is the gas pumping really necessary tho? Especially when all you want to do is take it for a test drive with no intentions of purchase? If push comes to shove, lease the b*tch, rotate her tires, and enjoy the upholstery, but by all means my trick @ss ninjas, stop the madness and get out the gas biz. <—Pretty word swag.
Ya'll (and most of society) are f*cking up the game and ruining perfectly good women despite their posiiton on the 'attractive' scale. Creating a world of women with needless self esteem issues and personality lacking ego maniacs. Even if a woman is absolutely gorgeous, your laffy taffy @$$ doesnt have to tell her that off the rip, and then proceed to cater to her mercilessly like a rogue wedding reception wait staffer with tiger blood.
In short, the 'pretty' girls, and even the 'unpretty' girls with 'pretty girl problems' aren't the issue. The source of these 'problems' are the silly talentless, professional Shell @$$, Texaco Exxon Mobil gassing @$$ ninjas that need to utilize undeserved flattery to embark upon booty battery. <—I wont stop. I can't stop. I did it again.
“proceed to cater to her mercilessly like a rogue wedding reception wait staffer with tiger blood.”
*nominates Sobo for Best VSB Simile.
But tell ‘em how you really feel next time.
I’m casting my ballot for Sobo for best VSB similie. I can’t even type that ish without laughing my fingers off the keyboard. The Tiger Blood was completely unnecessary but damn it worked so well.
lol GREAT comment. right on.
this part:
“Even if a woman is absolutely gorgeous, your laffy taffy @$$ doesnt have to tell her that off the rip, and then proceed to cater to her mercilessly like a rogue wedding reception wait staffer with tiger blood.”
should be screamed from the rooftops. it doesn’t help anybody when guys act like this.
lol…this was a great comment. thru and thru.
Beautifully said. I co-sign this entire statement. Exhibit A) all of the women on this site (and the Internets in general. Even some intranets) complaining about getting hit on too much. Exhibit B) the number of women thinking they have those problems and the content of said problems. I’m not saying that pretty girl problems don’t exist, quite the contrary, but these ain’t the problems I’m reading.
Your dating issues aren’t about you being too pretty. Seriously. Thinking that is counter productive. A lack of suitors without tight resumes is not a pretty girl issue. Too few guys trying to talk to you is not a pretty girl issue.
Also, the people at work don’t hate you because they are intimidated by your brilliance. The only reason they know you got a 4 on your AP English exam is becuase you still have the test results pinned up in your cube.
“The only reason they know you got a 4 on your AP English exam is becuase you still have the test results pinned up in your cube.”
Now y’all are starting to act up.
@Mr.SoBo
As my e-PIC(partner in crime) I totally cosign this. We are ><. It's crazy when ninjas "p***y speculate" even in cyberspace. Ninjas and this "gettin p***y by any means" mentality have f**ked the game all up. When I see dudes gas chics on the Internet I knew it was beyond bad. 90 Octane? Nah son this is Jet fuel they're spitting. Point blank dudes need to stop this. Get draws on the strength of being you. Nothing more nothing less. Chasing p***y is for herbs.
SOBO!!!!
missed e-platonic-buddy (looks around for cnotes).
this comment.
full
of
win.
the same works in reverse.
@keisha brown
“looks around for cnotes”
(clears throat loudly)
lol!
ceeeeeeeee-notes!!
@keisha brown
Are you coming to D.C. for the big shindig?????? (crosses fingers)
Are YOU CNotes??? I’m gonna be there! I’m getting all excited and sh*t.
@SFG
Yes I am!! : ) I can’t wait to meet you girl!
@cnotes
i’m coming to DC for a vacation which should so happen to coincide with the VSB extravaganza!
*hits countdown to vacation in seven days dougie!!!!*
@keisha brown
I’m so excited! I will come through the door looking for you and SFG. : )
*fist pumping* I can’t wait to meet you all!
Yep, this comment is the business!
This is word excellency bredrin.
I believe Sobo just sonned this entire society.
“The real problem is the abundance of ‘unpretty’ women walking around with falsely acquired ‘pretty girl’ problems as a result of these lame duck, trick @ss no game having n*gg@z inflating these women’s egos with high premium I-90 octane petral.”
_____Flatlined________
Time of Death 1:o6PM
Funeral arrangements to be annouced momentarily…
Mr SoBo FTW
Damn N*gga, you got a way with words and sh*t. #notjockingdoe
Peace,
I didn’t scroll all 374 comments but I am going to speak to something that I’ve been dying to say about the so-called ‘pretty girl’ problem. A lot of ‘pretty girls’ are also ‘pretty idiots’.
Almost every physically near-flawless, model-type woman I’ve dated in my career have been typically vapid air-heads hellbent on expressing the lowest parts of there mental faculties.
There were some rare gems who had mental ability but they were plagued with entitlement that also helped to supplant this very egoist way they lived their lives. The whole “ME ME ME” thing but on level 20. There was also this constant exasperation surrounding the “pressure” of being “pretty”. It was a lot of red tape to sift through and at the end of it all, I just desired to be with someone who was cool, emotionally balanced and easy to talk to and if she happened to be hot, I won.
I don’t know, the “problems” are real and I will concede to that. But I don’t think it’s all that serious to the point women are crying into their palms about it.
Street harassment tho? That sh*t is wack and I hate those monkeys for making it hard on us gentleman who just want to tell a woman she’s fine and keep it moving.
“Street harassment tho? That sh*t is wack and I hate those monkeys for making it hard on us gentleman who just want to tell a woman she’s fine and keep it moving.”
Agreed.
Driveby street gassings tho? That sh*t is whack and I hate those ‘gentlemen’ who just want to tell a woman she’s fine and keep it moving.
From ‘monkeys’ to ‘gentlemen’, the sensless pretty girl crimes being committed are on the rise again.
I’m sure there is a candlelight vigil on every street corner for every woman slain by one of your driveby flattery rampages.
When will it stop?
“Stop Gassing” T-Shirts will be made available for purchase shortly. I think I’ll give you 7 for free. One for every day of the week so you will never make the mistake of forgetting that you are as much a part of the problem as the street harassing ‘monkeys’ you hate so much.
You can keep them swap meet shirts, homie-loc. I ain’t part of no problem.
But I ain’t really the solution either. I guess you got me pegged, bro. Mr. So Bo. Sobe? Whatever.
“You can keep them swap meet shirts, homie-loc”
LOL Please don’t make me get in trouble today…
Pardon me? I noticed your venacular changed. Bringing out the street venacular I see. I guess that must be your way of reminding us all yet again (yaaaawwwwwwwn) that although you’re well expressed intellectually, you also have ‘edge’. Thank you, as if your Grant Hill Post comment wasnt enough to keep me mindful of that for the next 30 years.
Today I see you will like to add “dating models throughout your career” under the intelligent hoodlum section of your vsb resume as well. Noted.
Will that be all? Since you are in such rare sharing mood, is there anything else you will like to impart upon us about yourself Mr. Bragadocious? I mean, apart from your witty and humorous side splitting ‘Mr. Sobe’ joke that somehow seems to never get old despite the deafening cricket response it received last week, yet somehow you felt it warranted an encore honorable mention today. I dont know…maybe if you mention it a 3rd time perhaps? No e-beef or e-thuggery patnah<–my hood swag, I just find you amusing to say the least. I hear you, but then I dont.
Disregard the above response. ^^ I shouldn’t have taken that opening. – One.
*refills popcorn….
Speaking of Grant Hill…please tell me you read this
http://sicklemaster.com/2011/03/jalen-rose-responds-to-grant-hill%E2%80%99s-op-ed/
someone who was cool, emotionally balanced and easy to talk to and if she happened to be hot, I won.
Really love this description… especially the emotionally balanced part… can’t be underestimated.
Beauty has a double standard. There are things seen as beneath hot women that are perfectly fine for everybody else. Ever see a foine woman waiting for the bus? How about a smokin’ hot woman working the register at Burger King? Part of you wonders how come somebody so hot is doing such a thing.
Somewhere on the www is a list of things guys can do to keep a woman interested. One of them is “Ignore her beauty”. It’s one thing to be in high school and gush all over the girl who got hot over the summer, but it doesn’t work anymore past the early 20s. Most beautiful women have been like that at least since college. Tell an older woman that she is beautiful and you’ll get a nice smile in return, but the thought behind it is “Tell me something I don’t know”.
My plan was to read through all of the comments (as opposed to mnaking a generalized assumption) before commenting myself about the superficiality of all the comments.
…And I didn’t. But I read enough to still think that 85% of these comment(ers) are the problem. (I’m rockin the boat…but I don’t care)
We live in such a superficial world! And that’s not even the sad part! The sad part iis that we are so comfortable in it. Nobody wants to be judged/categorized based on their looks, but we do it all day long! Which also makes us hypocrites. Which is the ugliest of all characteristics (in my book), but noone cares, cause nobody wants to look past what they see anyway.
“Pretty girl problems” only matter to pretty people, “ugly” people are “haters” cause they don’t understand. And none of it really matters.
We spend way too much time either tryin to put “ugly” people in their place for daring to have an opinion in a pretty world or tryin to tear “pretty” peopledown cause they rhink too highly of themselves, even though we are indeed Frankenstein!
And that’s why pretty girls have self-esteem issues and trouble finding a “good” man, because we tell them “You’re so pretty, you should have the world and you deserve a man that’s gonna give it to you”, and we teach them that “A good man will love you for who you are and not what you look like”, but we don’t encourage them to build their personalities and and we tear them down for relying on their looks.
So no! They don’t know who they are, cause we won’t let them be pretty and they aren’t ugly, but there’s nothing underneath it all to identify with!
And everybody wants the pretty girl, but nobody wants the girl with no personality, so their looks get them screwed, literally. Then abandoned because being good in bed positively corelates to your ability to connect with someone .
And noone truly loves the pretty girl.
That’s the only real “pretty girl” problem! We’re just too ugly to see it
*strokes chin…
interesting…
We live in such a superficial world! And that’s not even the sad part! The sad part iis that we are so comfortable in it. Nobody wants to be judged/categorized based on their looks, but we do it all day long!
I swear I was thinking the exact same thing… The notion that people actually have readily available opinions on such a subject as “pretty girl problems” is too funny… I have thoroughly entertained today that’s for sure.
yea — right. on.
but er ah. now what?
ie: do we now segregate ourselves by the superficiality of our outlook? I would hate to thrust a young person into this ‘game’ with such idealism.
In a very strange way – we have to embrace the superficiality that defines our culture. why? we would end up rejecting about… hmmm… 85% of everyone – that could get lonely. so, again now what?
It seems like a few of the “pretty” girls here have a problem with the fact that some men interested in them play games with them and basically treat them like sh*t. thing is, while treating a woman like s*t is probably taking it a bit too far, this is by far the most efficient way for men to get with beautiful women. beautiful women — women who’ve been the object of male attention their entire lives — tend to be impressed by men who aren’t impressed or in awe of their beauty. and, in most instances “men who aren’t impressed or in awe of their beauty” usually manifests as “men who act like they could really give two sh*ts about you”
thats just the way things are. and, it’s not “game playing” as much as it’s doing the one thing that’s been proven to work, time and time again.
(also, this type of approach/mindset doesn’t work with all women. in fact, some absolutely abhor it. but, it does work more often with women used to getting perpetually “cunnilingused”)
But the thing is, some women realize when this is happening. A guy not commenting on my looks makes me suspicious in a way. Let’s face it. Everyone loves to get complimented.
Guys just need to find a happy medium. Somewhere in between always gushing about how pretty I am and pretending like they don’t see my face or appreciate my looks.
just so you don’t have these guys all messed up out here…initial indifference (or faux indifference, whichever) is what does the trick. NOT treating the women like sh*t. you don’t want a girl who wants you because you treat her like sh*t.
had to clarify that one for my soul to be at peace.
“you don’t want a girl who wants you because you treat her like sh*t.”
HELLO.
But I must add that dudes going around letting fine/pretty women get away with having nasty a$$ attitudes and being biyatches because they look good needs to stop. Men that do this are destroying the ozone layer.
You have a point Champ but it’s a thin line between not kissing @ss and being an @sshole. @ssholes aren’t attractive.
Not according to UGK. Lemme see it, lemme see it…
lol i love that song, but that line caught me way off guard. i won’t play that ish when anyone is in my car lol.
I do not like that song…I LOVE it.
#dontjudgeme
Ha!!
well my M.O. has generally been to treat ‘em like a prostitute. no wonder it hasnt been working. indifference, not hofficience.
The pretty girl dilemma is very real. Then add “accomplished” or “successful” to the mix and it can become a HUGE test in itself trying to find a good guy that truly loves and respects you. You def have to wade through a lot of insecure dudes, dudes that want you only as an arm piece, etc… But, I try not to complain about it. It’s life- gotta take the good with the bad. And I do agree- that being pretty and constantly complaining is kinda like enjoying the perks of being rich and famous but then complaining about the paparazzi. I don’t complain because being pretty does have its perks. So I just got better at picking dudes instead of complaining about the bad ones- there are good ones out there. And quite honestly, there are worse things in the world than being pretty. Everybody’s got problems- why should a pretty girl be any different, LOL
I’m not sure if anyone has already said this, but who and what defines “pretty”? I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder, just because a few men think a women is pretty doesn’t think everyone will. I know a couple dudes that think Beyonce ain’t shit, I for one think she is very pretty, so I’m just asking. Who and what defines pretty?
I believe (from miscellaneous TV specials) that there is some combination of symmetry and feminine features (large eyes, full lips) that universally equate to pretty. I think what makes you fall out and go “damn” varies though.
I’ve noticed that all you have to do for a woman is downplay her perceived strengths and empathize on her weaknesses. For some reason they love that.
If you treat a fine chick like she’s busted and not worth that much of your time its a total mindf**k. They can’t figure out why you aren’t fawning over them like the rest of these dudes.
“If you treat a fine chick like she’s busted and not worth that much of your time its a total mindf**k. They can’t figure out why you aren’t fawning over them like the rest of these dudes”
As Fcuked up as it is — This Right Here is the Truth!!!
Buuuut
It’s a headgame that SOME not ALL chics recognize now. So be very very careful…. #Tweety Bird Voice# *Hardwink*
oh, and as far as the idea that super gorgeous women are more likely to be personality deficient, well, that’s true too, lol. not saying that all gorgeous women fall under this category, but humans tend to develop the qualities they need to succeed/be competitive. and, it stands to reason that a woman who was blessed with a ton of natural gifts wouldn’t feel the same need to develop their other attributes.
it’s the same concept behind the fact that athletes born with great physical talent are a little less likely to work on their fundamentals and be gym rats than a guy who wasn’t granted those same gifts.
Life has a way of balancing things out, like with the natural athlete, at some point life is going to dictate he masters those fundamentals if he wants to stay in the game.
Which is why Lebron hasn’t developed a consistent jumper or go-to move.
I couldn’t possibly get through all these comments, but I will say a few things.
1) I agree with pretty women not walking around thinking about how good looking they are. Sometimes those who are outwardly beautiful to others only see themselves as average or less.
2) Haters are a lifestyle issue. It’s not just a side-effect of physical beauty, it’s a result of certain life choices. At the risk of sounding cocky, I’m someone who other people always say is beautiful. Strangers, at that. So if this is true and I am pretty, I should have a gaggle of hating chickens clucking behind me at all hours of the day.
But I don’t.
Because I stay away from people with that sort of mentality and don’t hang around places where haters are known to be. This doesn’t just go for pretty women, it goes for anyone crying “hater”.
You acquire haters by hanging around them.
And maybe there are women walking around talking about how I think I’m all that or whatever else, but I don’t even know they exist because we live on two different planes.
this just came to me while eating lunch (hmmm..rice…)
this post is about pretty girl problems, but what about the other side?
i read in a magazine yesterday an interview with beyonce. she said that she can’t cook, but she’s trying to step her game up.
now where im from, if a girl can’t cook, that detracts demerit points. but i presume she gets a pass because of everything else (including being pretty)?
am i typing to myself? is this thought stupid and redundant?
how much could a woodchuck chuck doe?
*spits out water*…”Woodchuck” sounds nasty. lol Anywho, Beyonce gets a pass because she literally has done too much to sit down and cook. In life, if you’re lacking a skill hopefully you have another one that makes up for it. Like with Beyonce, she can’t cook but maybe she’s a really good wife in other areas so her hubby gives her a pass. But yeah, looks def help there’s no denying that. Pretty chicks can get away with alot of rachetness.
She’s married now…so she needs to learn to cook. The pass is about to be revoked. LOL
They’re both filthy, disgustingly rich. Na’an one of them shouldn’t be cooking.
WIP, I couldn’t have said it any better.
A problem ain’t a problem if money can fix it. So there.
Let’s be Real here…
Jay CLEARLY DID NOT marry Bey because he thought she would make a good housewife…
Justsayin…
There is a picture that goes around on e-mail. Most guys have seen it. It’s a picture of a very attractive woman and the caption says “I can’t cook. Who cares?”. Only a dumbass would have issues with Beyonce’s lack of cooking skills.
where you’re from must be stuck in the 1970s. a chick who can’t cook is par the course nowadays. if a chick can cook today, she gets points.
we wrote a whole post about this.
ma bad peej. sometimes a negro gots to work and sh*t.
and well..since i dont date chick, just dudes who date chicks and tell me these things…
*shrugs all bout di place.
please link to post if possible.
thank you kindly.
Bey can afford a live-in chef for the rest of her days, she ain’t gotta cook – lol! Takes nothing away from her appeal, she’s accomplished things that are unattainable for most people. Of course she gets a pass… plus she has to look @ Jay erryday, COME ON & give the girl a break! lolol
You know what, while at lunch as I was digging through my purse for change and some guy tried to give me change, while calling me gorgeous, I’m going on record as saying I love the so called problems of being a pretty girl. I love getting hit on by random people on the regular (ugmos included). I love having my boss tell me I’m pretty on the regular and being able to get away with sh*t at work that probably shouldn’t fly. I love having random
many times marriedstrangers buy me drinks at the bar, just so they can have a reason to talk. I love having kids (I think they’re the best judgement of whether one is really pretty) compliment me. I love coming out to notes on my car from neighbors (okay I’m lying this creeps me out). I love that people don’t expect me to be as smart, as nice but sometimes b*tchy, as funny, as good in bed (yeah I’m saying it), as good of a cook and all of the other greatness that I am. I’m saying F*ck pretty girl problems and instead saying I Love pretty girl perks.That is all.
ROTFLMAO
oh how they underestimate/sleep on huh??? LOL
Much respect for that comment.
Did I tell you today that I loved you V Renee? No? Ok, I love you V Renee…. oh so very much.
*round of applause* It DEF has it’s perks. I wouldn’t know but so I’ve heard. lol
I’d say that it can be kind of hard to know just how attractive people find you. I know for me it is. Don’t get me wrong, I think i’m attractive but I’m unsure of how others perceive me. I think it may have alot to do with the fact that I have a twin sister. Everytime we go anywhere people stare. You don’t know if they’re straing because they wonder if we’re twins, because they think we’re attractive, or some other reason. I can say that people tell us that we’re attractive quite often but who knows. Maybe I feel like this because I was never popular nor unpopular in school and went through a slight awkward stage in Jr High lol but because of this I was fortunate enough to build a great personality. I think a good indicator of ones attractiveness is if other races often stare and/or try to get at you. That means you’re universal baby! lol
Truly pretty women know exactly how other people see them because they get all the perks mentioned by V. Renee. If you’re not getting that then you might just be in the team photo instead of being belle of the ball.
Truly pretty women know exactly how other people see them because they get all the perks mentioned by V. Renee. If you’re not getting that then you might just be in the team photo instead of being belle of the ball.
I didnt want this to get lost in a thread and slightly off subject
On that Ochoconco and Evelyn mess. I get that a lot of thing are done for publicity and people should not be living thier lives through reality TV…. but they are an example of how a man will say what kind of chick he wants ( Down to earth,, like to have fun, cooking, tossing it up inthe sack etc)… and overlook a room full of good girls for someone that appears to be a “Trophy” with a bad attittude, full of drama, and no personality…. ijs
Where on earth does that happen besides on reality tv or in rich people world?
I’m a decently attractive girl (I usually get rated an 8. Probably gassing but whatever..) so I understand and have expericied all of the difficulties discussed in this article and subsequent comments that pretty women have. But I disagree that these problems are enough to feel sympathetic to a gorgous women crying about how pretty she is. Spare me.
Yes, it may be hard when dealing with issues like jealous girls, intimidtaed men, or people assuming your dumb (cum laude and in grad school; no airhead here) HOWEVER it is much harder to be unattrative. No matter how hard Halle has it, Precious has it double hard. Period. In this society, a woman is judged so much by her looks that although she may have gotten the promotion because her boss wants to sleep with her, heres the thing: SHE GOT A PROMOTION. While an equally talented, educated unattractive woman did not.
Its like when rich people complain about getting stereotyped for being rich. Ok yeah it sucks, but the payoff fior being rich is greater than the few negative side effects so I understand when people are like, “STFU” when a Halle or LisaRaye or other beautiful women complain about their “pretty girl” problems. I encounter the same troubles but you know what? I keep my mouth shut because I refuse to sound stuck up, ungrateful, or ignorant of the many many benefits I reap from being attractive.
I agree…I saw on a recent study that attractive women tend to make more money than unattractive women whereas overweight men tend to make more money than their healthier counterparts. My guess is that it’s because it’s easier for an attractive woman to get what she wants in general no matter if we’re talking about free dinner or a nice promotion, and since men are not held at as high standard as women when it comes to looks then I’d guess that’s why it’s opposite for them. Can’t say i’m surprised by this either…
This totally depends on WHO you work for and where you work?
It’s definitely not a given, and was probably a study done on “other” folks.
Okay so I’ve read some of the comments in here, but not all of them. And I think I’m gonna go ahead and stay with my original position. Whatever problems you have as a self-professed pretty girl, if you still wouldn’t trade it to be someone who doesn’t have that problem, then there’s really nothing to complain about.
That’s not a burden for pretty women, that’s a burden of blessed people. I’m not in love with my job, but I have one, and I wouldn’t trade places with someone unemployed despite the problems I have. It’s the same principle.
Now ladies, suck it up, stick it out, and make it clap for me.
*snaps*
You’re making it snap for me? I’on know about that…
*Looks skeptically at the artist fomerly known as Jane Doe who the artist formely known as Honey*
she’s making it snap, crackle, and *pop*
There’s a Rice Krispies Treat joke in here somewhere. But I can’t work out the delivery. #nextTime
WIP what you gonna make it do for me?
lol it’s this little trick i have…
That’s what I said <– see what I did there
#biWinning
Real talk. I have pretty commenter problems. I mean, the only reason everyone doesn’t reply to my comments and agree with everything they say is becuase they are intimidated by my idioms and scared of my big diction.
It’s not that my comments are long as hell or that I use to many big words or that Family Guy writers would scratch their heads at half my cultural references, it’s intimidation.
Oh, and hate. All the bloggers know I’m dropping NY Times quality knowledge. The only reason I don’t have my own blog is that word press be hating on me. And is intimidated.
These are the only reasons I don’t have an e-boo. CNN should do a special on my plight.
And my avatars are hotter. Holla.
lol funny. i like your comments, and i would so be your e-boo if i didn’t have a boo in real life. i’ve thought that to myself before. *blushes and looks away*
Quit playing Honey, you know deep down you are meant to be my e-boo. But I’ma respect your man and all. But if you ever get tired of dude leaving the toilet seat up, or eating the last piece of chicken, or doing all kind of other annoying stuff that dudes that actually exist do, come holla at your boy.
ha! got you
@Medium Meech
I feel you. I’m in the same boat. Don’t have an e-boo, comments ignored, and I’m not even worth hating on. Sound like you need a membership in CLCSub3 (Charity Love Club for 3′s and under). Panama and I are charter members.
How does one going about acquiring an e-boo? And what is all this I hear about 3′s?
@DQ
You get chose to be an e-boo. If you don’t get chose then you know your low-ranking status. Panama is a 3 and I’m a 1.5. Due to our low ranking and lack of women the Charity Love Club for Men ranked 3 and under was started so those of us that are 3′s and under could at least get pity chex.
I may have an e-boo now, but I’m still a CLCsub3 card carrying member.
alll of you – Sir Meech, Sir SoBo, SirBot (aka Humble), Sir DQ
please say it with me: I. NEED. MORE. PEOPLE.
as long as you STAY avi-less. I’ll believe that the children are our future more than your self-rating ratedness. yes. i said ratedness.
thank you and have a nice day.
I – need – more – people.
*Waits*
You know Keisha I’m willing to try almost any home remedy but I don’t think this one is working. Either the magic words are wrong or you said them in the wrong order. I don’t feel any different.
“Due to our low ranking and lack of women the Charity Love Club for Men ranked 3 and under was started so those of us that are 3?s and under could at least get pity chex.”
Y’all taking any applications?
#justsaying
@DQ
I’ve been peeping your commentary and contemplating
clubbing you and dragging you back to my e-cavemaking you my e-boo but I’m still mourning the loss of ComicBookGuy. Has anyone seen him? I miss those buttery cheeks.*sigh*
Anywho, I’m watching you. Be afraid cause my e-booship aint no joke.
Aye yo fellas, I thought I had a bad couple of games this past week but it turns out I’m still being scouted by folks from the University of Smart Fox Girl. They’re not talking full-ride yet, but if they’re scouting me I gotta at least be on ESPNU’s top recruits list
The gates to the e-boudoir of SFG have but a single inscription. Abandon. All. Hope. Proceed at your own peril.
i thought you were checking for DG?
Glad to be among brothers, but as a -1^1/2, I don’t think I belong even in that club, as mathematically that number isn’t really even possible, technically it’s an imaginary number. I’m going to stick with blaming my situation on imaginary haters since I’m an imaginary number.
Bwahahaha! I am slain… on the floor…. dying a slow death.
Thank you for the afternoon delight.
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I love this site and I never comment, so here goes. I have found that the biggest problem that a “pretty girl” encounters is haters–the term “haters” is plural and includes both genders. Men do “hate” on pretty women as a way of boostering their own esteem, and to bait them. You don’t wanna answer me from across the street in traffic because you find that creepy? You’re a b___. You don’t want to date me because I think just because I’m a black professional that automatically makes me an attractive, engaging black man? You’re a a stuck-up b___. On the other hand, women pre-judge you before even speaking to you. Because you’re pretty, women don’t have to compliment you when you wear something cute or women don’t think to be nice to you. Women project their low self-esteem to you and if by the time you are 25, you have never been complimented by a woman even when she compliments everyone else in the room, or if an attitude is first and smile is much later (or never comes), then by the time you are 25, you just don’t want ugly female friends. Or you don’t want female friends who are too insecure in their own skin to recognize the beauty in others. Women are always competing with each other and I find pretty woman are just generally much easier to get along with because they don’t need to…they dont think its neccesary whereas less attractive woman constantly want to prove their worth. I would have to agree with an earlier commenter that the most hate comes from not ugly but moderately attractive women. These women are upset that they were blessed with natural beauty–that they actually have to work at it. They may be the girl that wear the skankiest outfits. They may be the ones on facebook with PrettyGirl in their names. They are generally members of AKA (even though there are some pretty women as well). They are women are sounding from the rooftop how bad they are. How often does a beautiful woman have to tell everyone they are beautiful? Not often. These women make it a point for everyone to recognize their presence when they come in a room because they know the second a more attractive girl comes in all eyes will be on her. They may try to befriend the pretty girl and call her their friend, but silently may be tearing her down—not giving her real advice when she asks…should I wear the pumpkin suit or the sheath dress? Pumpkin suit all day…Are you sure? Yes, pumpkin suit. Thats why after years of being around people who dont have your best interest at heart the pretty woman will invariably suffer from low self-esteem.
On a sidenote, the fact that a pretty woman has never had to work on her attractiveness can also be a red herring/fault to. So as she gets older, she gets a bit sloppier, less put together and the not-so pretty (6-7.5) girl has been working the whole time, on her hair, on her body, on her style, conversation that by 30 the moderately attractive woman just might be a better catch (Watch out pretty girl, LOL)! Thats how you end up with women who are 35 who are pretty in the face and ugly ducklings that were just strait that become bad.
*should I wear the pumpkin suit or the sheath dress? Pumpkin suit all day…Are you sure? Yes, pumpkin suit. *
LMAO. Not because I know what a Pumpkin suit is (though I’m sure the Google will tell me in a second, just what it is) but because I can hear the hater in the dialog.
Haters? Pretty girls bring it on to themselves sometimes with their constant whining and complaining about all of the myriad opportunities available to them and they just can’t decide! Gag me with a freaking spoon.
“Women are always competing with each other and I find pretty woman are just generally much easier to get along with because they don’t need to…they dont think its neccesary whereas less attractive woman constantly want to prove their worth.”
The most competitive women I know are pretty girls. They’re not dumb. They know that pretty girls get left for ugly girls all the time, and they know that there are other pretty girls out there. They act non-competitive, but they are catty.
I don’t know, “Pretty Girl Problems” seem about as valid to me as the perils of “Reverse Racism”.
I don’t think I’m drop dead gorgeous, but I do acknowledge that my life would be a lot different if I looked “Unfortunate”. I am so not about that life.
I don’t know if i consider myself “pretty” per say, though I meet some criteria. I guess random people do tell me I’m attractive, i frequently get approached, people are generally friendly towards me, and I do have some small pretty girl perks. For instance I rarely have to run for a bus, because drivers (if male) usually wait on me, and lower the bus so my entrance can be a smooth one. May not seem like much, but I just realized that the case for most CTA riders. I get free stuff, and guys usually offer to carry my bags, hold open my door, give me a ride (which is creepy), pay my tab etc.,
But I don’t get all that ” hate”…I mean if I do I don’t notice, but then again I can be pretty oblivious and air-headed, this is accepted because I’m from California. I am beginning to be more aware of the shade though. Most of the women at work are not too friendly, and look at me like I just ate the last biscuit when I arrive in the morning, I don’t think they are too fond of me. I don’t give a slow-roasted fcku however I’m always polite.
Overall I just consider myself an attractive chick, with awesome taste, a cool personality, and impressive shoe collection. That’s enough for me.
I guess that’s why I cant identify with the “Plight Of The Pretty”. Perhaps the worst aspect of being considered “attractive” or “pretty” was when I was with someone who was not considered either. That was problematic.He was extremely insecure, and resentful. I had to constantly explain to him why I was with him, and how I was just not out to “exploit” him for opportunities. And that nicca didn’t have any resources to exploit!
I have a lot of pretty women in my own family, who have purposely dated goola monsters , less than attractive men, that they ought would cherish them,for bracing hem with their va-jay-jays let alone their presence, only to end up being resented, cheated on, and walked over.
That sux.
Pretty girls get no sympathy from me. Study after study ( here is one for example : http://money.cnn.com/2005/04/08/news/funny/beautiful_money/) reveals that when it really matters (money ….not men) good looking people earn 5% more than the rest of us and if you are busted…there is a penalty for you too ( about -9%). So cry me a river. I’m not feeling bad for them
Me neither…
…but I am dating one.
They stay winning.
I have an essential question. What makes a girl pretty? Cause I honestly think this can be taken many different ways. Is it her physical appearance? Her face? Her complexsion? I was never considered the “pretty girl” if you want to put it that way. Have I had haters yes who doesn’t? The fact of the matter is “pretty is in the eye of the beholder” If society says that light skin women was ugly and unattractive many men would see it that way as well. Ladies remember men compete, and they all have types of what they like and don’t like. But also remember that they actually have lower self esteem than women do…yes this is so true…Ladies we validate men they don’t validate us. So to have the pretty girl or the hot chick is for validation and to boost his self esteem. Think about this Halle Berry got cheated on maybe by her husband. And the bruthas were in aww why? Cause she’s pretty and society considers her a standard of beauty. I find it sad that our Bruthas are so brainwashed to thinkby society and not looking at the fact that the “white american society” is still telling youwhat qualifies as pretty.
“Ladies we validate men they don’t validate us.”
Can’t say I agree there, but to each their own.
Yeah, I gotta say I’m really tryin’ to wrap my head around this statement. Can you explain what you mean, 1?
I don’t cry much over the problems of very pretty girls but I have noticed that more average looking ladies tend to have much better lives, i.e. more stable relationships, higher quality partners, more education, better jobs (outside of the rare movie-star, supermodel and such) than these pretty girls. I have yet to run into a really beautiful woman that I could really hate on once I broke it down and questioned what it is that she’s got better than me. Yeah, the prettier packaging but that’s about where it ends. I’d envy my own life more if I weren’t living it myself.
I hate the way some of you swear that ugly girls are jumping on the bandwagon of hating pretty girls just because they’re pretty. Maybe the reason why ugly girls are hating on pretty girls is because pretty girls use ugly girls to talk about their Pretty Girl Problems and make them feel like complete ish in the process. Why do I want to hear about all the attention you get when I can’t even get a guy to look at me, let alone call me? Why do I want to hear you bitch and complain about your fortune? Oh boofreakinghoo honey. You’re ungrateful. Shut up and be thankful because that beauty won’t last.
#1 Quality control : hahaha i love that one
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder so really everyone is pretty to a point. Some more than others I guess.
And for one IDk but I don’t believe in that whole “I got haters” thing. I like to think that a person is not hating on me per se – but that they see something in me that reminds them of a quality in themselves that they are unhappy with.
WAIT!
So all those guys who called me ugly or picked on my looks were actually hitting on me?!
Wow, I guess I didn’t notice being as how they were blatantly rude and disrespectful. I guess I’m not one of those girls who likes a man who “puts her in her place.”
YOU CAN’T EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!!
If I complain about my skin breaking out, it’s *eye roll* b/c my skin is nice.
If I complain about my fitness, and say I need to go to the gym because I’m not taking care of myself the way I need to, it’s *eye roll* because I’m “skinny” and, I guess, skinny people don’t have to be healthy and fit. *Newsflash* some people are just genetically skinny, but that doesn’t mean they’re genetically in perfect health all the time, their whole lives….we need to watch what we eat and exercise, too.
And, b/c black people (not all, but many, and enough men to make women hate it too) hate on light skinned women for “thinking they’re so cute”….this is actually a pretty girl issue (if you’re pretty….we’ve all seen dudes sweating a girl b/c she’s light with long hair looking like Chewy in the face). I’ve had to go in on people for taking a stank attitude toward me or brining up how light I am ALL THE TIME, making up nicknames and calling me high yellow. It’s rude, but I’m supposed to find it okay because being light skinned is a “positive thing”…like don’t project your values on me. I wake up in the morning feeling like a black woman, not a light skinned black woman…take your personal issues out on someone else…SHEESH. We’re not all Whitley Gilberts.
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So, I find myself torn. I agree with points one, two, and 3 (if i hear another person say “oh, but you’re pretty who cares if you’re smart”, I may have to start back handing a few of you clueless ones). I do not agree with number 4. Insecurity can come from anywhere not just what is illustrated in this point. For instance, if you grew up getting used to being rejected by people of the opposite sex you’re going to have a skewed view of yourself, esp when you’re always the last to get asked out because your “looks are intimidating” or the belief that your @$$ is probably stuck up because you’re pretty. So, too, there are pretty girls who were awkward looking nerds in their past lives but now they gotta be put in that whole lump of folks who are pretty but also vapid. NO but the again life is unfair, time to get used to it I guess…
I was always taught that being pretty may help you get your foot in the door, however, it will not sustain you.
Have I gotten a job or some sort of favoritism because someone liked the way I look? Sure. However, when it comes time to submit those reports and documents, there is no blank page or empty space to insert my photo or other people’s opinions about my looks. Fortunately, I was raised with the mentality that looks only get you an extra 5 minutes with people, and what I do with them are up to me. If I want to waste those previous minutes focusing on unimaginative things, then shame on me. While people may take notice of me initially for my looks, in the end, they will remember me for my intellect.
Gotta chime in…
The “Pretty Girl Plight” is alive and well.
I know some insanely beautiful women that are Engineers, Quantum Physicists, etc and they get told the same thing over and over again. “You dont LOOK like a ______”
You know why, because when you see a pretty girl, you instantly think she has had it easy and therefore hasn’t had to the desire or ability to cultivate herself as a person.
My motto is, Intelligence is Paramount!
Gimme a 5 with a brain, that shyt is sexy!
Ok maybe a 7, yeah a 7.
Ive had the 10 that was shallower than a kiddie pool
(i know shallower isnt a word, thank you)
But you know what happens to said 10 with a gleaming list of accomplishments.
She dates some DMX like clown, cuz he was soooooo impressed with her It made her feel special. Or he swoops in after her Pre-Med boyfriend drops her for a white girl and shoplifts the cookie. IMS
These just my thoughts man, write or wrong. Just what I was thinking at the time.
(YES, i know I spelled write instead of right, catch the play on words. DAMN)
so umm… some official research has come out on the subject of pretty girls and their problems… university of texas at austin researchers just released a report saying beautiful women are happier and make more money but get hated on and may not go as far in the working world as ugly people. this applied to women especially. very smart brothers Mr. Jackson you’re ahead of the curve.
http://changecomesslow.com/2011/04/02/it-pays-to-be-beautiful/
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People of palor are conditioned by society and the media to be politically correct.
That’s means not talking out loud about what people of color are socially and culturally allowed to talk out loud about.
chicks at my job are like this and I just want to smack the stuff out of ‘em! It’s like Panama said,”nobody likes a big head.” One girl at work says things like,”guys hit on me all the time, my hair is real/good hair, all the guys want me, my clothes are this and that”…etc. These girls at my job actually talk like this! I don’t even pay them no mind. I turn my headphones up so I can tune them out (they sit near me at work). why do you have to constantly say out loud, how good you look and how many men want you???? it’s because you don’t believe it within yourself and you need other’s to approve. it’s because you have low self-esteem, really.
I’ll try to say this without seeming like a stuck up, superficial bish, but I can relate to this article on some level…
I went on a job interview (yeah woe is me, going on job interviews when the unemployment rate is like 20%- side eye) a few weeks ago and as the the manager was looking at my resume he noticed that I worked in a warehouse- no air conditioning during southern summers, lots of walking, not ideal work conditions.
He looked at me, looked at my resume, then looked back at me and said “YOU worked in a WAREHOUSE?” as if to say I was “too good” or something to work at a warehouse.
Needless to say, I did not get the job (which I desperately needed) but it was given to the other female applicant. Who by the way was didn’t posess what is widely accepted as typical beauty. No shade, but she was missing teeth-just saying and this job was mostly male dominated. Guess I would have been a “distraction”-f*ck face.
I try not to base it on my looks because this is a economy we live in. She may have just been more qualified then I *sigh* but it’s not the first time that has happened to me *kanye shrug* but I digress…
This post was soooo funny! Number 2 was soo correct!