Premature Bae Posting Syndrome » VSB

Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Guest Blogger

Premature Bae Posting Syndrome



You have dated this man/woman/combination of the two for all of 33 seconds and now your entire social media platform is dedicated to them. Basic things change from “I” to “we” and you start doing obscure things like sharing chicken with them and posting “bae caught me slipping” images of you sleeping in the arms of said bae. Then the moment comes when they start posting love-filled quotes as captions under their relationship images like “I was lost before I met you”, “you are my lover, my best friend, and the reason for my curl pattern” etc.

A few weeks or day later, here I am sitting with my popcorn and whiskey, because that’s what real people do, swiping feverishly through my TL and notice the infamous selfie coupled with a Rob Hill Sr. quote about how they can do bad all by themselves. Keep in mind that this is the same person who was just on their Jordan Sparks “tell me how I’m supposed to breathe without air” flow three days ago and now they have gained that unfortunate 27 week gap between their photos.

It is very unfortunate to see someone’s Instagram go from 1,200 posts to all of 80. When they delete these photos, it seems as though they want us to Men in Black those images like they never happened. They want us to forget and not mention them falling victim to Premature Bae Posting Syndrome (PBPS). And now they become this bitter person with all these textgrams screaming that they are a strong independent person who doesn’t need a lover to validate them.

This could have all been avoided if they had a built their relationship on a solid foundation. Wikipedia and google searches have taught me that a solid foundation is key for longevity and sustainability. Posting and deleting shows the world that you lack such and that you have yet to learn your lessons from past relationships. That solid foundation is crucial before opening up your relationship to the online community. No one wants to be embarrassed. You’ve spent a number of weeks posting about this “significant other” only to have to delete and now are burdened to explain your business to the masses. You’re now forced to relive every moment of this breakup, all because you wanted to document how bae caught you slipping. Now you’ve slipped and fell into embarrassment and I am sure there’s no filter that goes well with that.

When you participate in PBPS you open the floodgates for a bevy of wrong and misfortune. We get that you’re excited about the new possibility for consistent sex, but please be smart about your actions. Always make sure that the relationship status is mutual. It’s no fun being head over heels for someone when they only consider you nothing more than a means to “get off.” God didn’t place you on this earth for one sided relationships and you should not be complacent with them either. There is no sufficient explanation for every single post on your social media account be dedicated to one person, while you’re not even a thought on there’s. You cannot expect people to take you or your relationship seriously when you have a new post of someone every other week.
Practicing discretion is key. In the beginning of a relationship the foundation can be a little shaky and one small emoji can bring things crumbling down.

There are people in this world that want nothing but negativity for you and would jump at a chance to steal your happiness, don’t let them. Always keep the lines of communication open and stay on the same page. If not, you become the person that we screenshot and laugh at and I am sure that is not the life you want for yourself.

There are other ways to show your love than through probating your love on Instagram. When in a relationship, you need to move at a pace that is comfortable for you and your partner. Do not compare your relationship to others and think that this is the norm for everyone. No relationship is built the same. Instead of premature posting, let’s try consistent communication, corporeal means of affection, cooking dinner in their favorite position, just to name a few. If anything remember that Lil Wayne dropped an African American proverb that informed you that “Real G’s move in silence.” Now govern yourselves accordingly.

Corey Townsend

Corey resides in the land of hobbits and homosexuals, also known as the District of Columbia. Being a firm believer in on-time rent payments, Corey has employed himself as a Social media strategist by day and a freelance writer by night. He also is a writer for an award-winning web series and connoisseur of all things brunch related.

  • First the author has confused DC with Atlanta. LOL

    Still, I might be a fogey, but I don’t get this new school living your relationship on social media. I’m not saying hide the fact that you have a significant other. However, the occasional photo or two is enough that people get the hint that you aren’t on the market. Otherwise, when ish gets real, everyone you know on social media (and a bunch you don’t know) will have their 2 cents to put in.

    The art of not putting your business on Front Street is dead, I swear!

    • AlwaysCC

      i don’t understand how people live their whole *lives* in social media. i just don’t. i *really really really really really* value the little bit of privacy i have, so i don’t understand why people just want to put that information out there.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        I wonder the same. No way I’m putting my personal business on the net. I run from anything done on social sites or online…lol From posting boo/bae status to shopping.

        • AlwaysCC

          i don’t care if i did just beat you by 200 points in words with friends, i don’t need the validation of social media lol

          • PDL – Cape Girl

            Folks need to get a life.

      • fxd8424

        I don’t get it either. It’s neither safe or prudent.

        • PDL – Cape Girl

          Please get this said.

    • DC and Atlanta are the same except No Taxation without representation and government jobs.

      • Another difference: Atlanta ninjas are hella short.

        • Keisha

          Very much so… :-(

        • PhlyyPhree

          DC men are height deficient as well. All those big egos in that city? Cmon now.

          • The men seemed normal sized to me in DC. Of course I was drunk and enjoying all the women most of the time so I might not remember accurately.

          • Although, I saw this talllllll a s s brother last night. He had to have been *at least* 6’4″.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Actually, don’t tell me where. All of the DC men I know above 5,10 are the devil incarnate or basketball players and I’ve had enough.

              • Pobrecita. Visit Cali. All them cats are tall.

              • You sureeeee you don’t want me to tell you? I’ll say it in Pig Latin–I was in upont-day last night. Lol.

                • HeyBooHey

                  Ircle-cay?! Most of the tall men I’ve seen are tooken, too scared/hoe-y too commit and/or are from out of town. I lucked out but they are so very far and few between outchea

                  • Yup! Upont-day ircle-Cay LOL

                    And don’t even get me started on the too scared. Sir, I see you looking. We’ve made eye contact now twice. Come over. I won’t bite.

                    • HeyBooHey

                      Smh DC guys are the most unique breed of men. Will stare you deeply in the eyes…..for no reason

    • PDL – Cape Girl

      “The art of not putting your business on Front Street is dead”

      You ain’t never lied

    • HAHA

      All. of.this.

      What makes it even worst is that most of what you see is a lie. Posting images of a “perfect” relationship meanwhile you’re being treated like trash behind closed doors. Trying to show and prove to the world how great things are meanwhile you’re just as miserable and unhappy as can be.

  • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

    Problem with Premature Public Bae Postng is the word “Bae”. If you still call each other “Bae” there’s a 99% chance this thing yall in is too new, too fresh to be sharing.

    You gotta wait till the reluctant/numbness to walk thru the door after work on a regular basis sets in… Once that’s swirling around in the mix, you won’t care who posts what about who.

    • HeyBooHey

      If there was ever a word that I wanted to punt into traffic with a swift kick, it’s the word “bae”. I am GROWN, don’t refer to me as a made-up word or we’re fighting

      • NapkinsAndCommas

        So I’m not the only one. Babe can go as well.

        • HeyBooHey

          I say it without realizing sometimes but I cringe whenever I catch myself saying “babe” to a grown man

      • yessss

      • SimplePseudonym

        Until recently, I knew “bae” as a term of endearment for 50-year-old married couples. That’s who I heard saying it growing up.

  • I’m so glad that I’m a married soccer mami and shiet…. I have no time for this foolery. Bae on Instagram or Facebook is corny. lol

  • Can I just say that his bio is so hilarious. Corey can you be my social media bae? Love this article

  • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

    Also, “Bae” has to go. While it does have an endearing GED-esque quality to
    it, it’s really in “you go girl” territory now. Just has lost all
    positive meaning and just falls outta the mouth and IQ’s fall… Kinda
    like Anthony Mackie’s latest statement on the Black Panther movie not
    needing a black director because Sea Biscuit wasn’t directed by a horse.
    (google if you think i’m lying.)

    Tho I blame Shaunie from Real Basketball Wives for “bae”; tho dunno for sure that she actually has anything to do with the word’s origin, I just like blaming her for things. Seems apropos.

    NOTE: I’m blaming Anthony Mackie for everything else bad until Christmas.

    • essem SEE

      Re: anthony mackie. As you should

    • PhlyyPhree

      “endearing GED-esque quality”

      I literally snorted. SNORTED!
      Alas, I’m keeping ‘Bae’ , only because I like to use it to annoy the closest thing I have to one. He haaaatesss when I say that, so of course I use it all the time.

      • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

        now see… you vindictive. doing your man like that. smh… lol.

        • PhlyyPhree

          He’s not my man; he’s the closest thing I have to it. Something like a boo, NOT a boo. I’m #unchosen.
          This is probably why.

          • QuirlyGirly

            Something like a boo, NOT a boo.

            I sooo understand this sentiment. #teamunchosen

          • AlwaysCC

            insignificant other, maybe?

          • HeyBooHey

            As my girl refers to that “something like a boo”, your SLAB

            • PhlyyPhree

              SLAB sounds like he’s my piece of meat. Which…you know what? Nevermind.

              • HeyBooHey

                I mean, technically….in that phase….

            • AlwaysCC

              i tried to make SLAB happen. i was told to stop :(

              • HeyBooHey

                LOL! It’s not always embraced, I’ve noticed

            • Ashia Sims

              I love this in all of its slight disrespectful nature, SLAB.

          • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

            LOL. I get it now…

    • Jennifer

      ” Kinda 
      like Anthony Mackie’s latest statement on the Black Panther movie not 
      needing a black director because Sea Biscuit wasn’t directed by a horse.
      (google if you think i’m lying)”


      • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

        we need to trade Anthony Mackie… put him on waivers or something.

  • SirKnows DevoidofPunk

    You’ll know “bae” is officially gone when it pops up on SNL… or when ELLE credits Kylie Jenner for making the word “hot”.

  • Why has no one chronicled African American Proverbs before?

  • Asiyah

    I love this, Corey! This was so good xoxo

    Btw, who is that girl in the header pic? She’s pretty mashAllah!

    • Agreed… Whatever MashAllah means. LOL

      • LOL. You gotta love stock photography models.

  • Echo

    “You’ve spent a number of weeks posting about this “significant other” only to have to delete and now are burdened to explain your business to the masses.”
    This is always that person who gets mad when you ask, OMG what happened y’all was such a cute couple…Don’t post every dang thing y’all do. If he gave you the last piece of bacon, we don’t need to know that.

  • Just wondering if you purchased the photo of me that you are using as your preview image?

    • Where eles can we see pictures of you on the internet? Asking for a friend.

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