Premature Bae Posting Syndrome » VSB

Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Guest Blogger

Premature Bae Posting Syndrome

You have dated this man/woman/combination of the two for all of 33 seconds and now your entire social media platform is dedicated to them. Basic things change from “I” to “we” and you start doing obscure things like sharing chicken with them and posting “bae caught me slipping” images of you sleeping in the arms of said bae. Then the moment comes when they start posting love-filled quotes as captions under their relationship images like “I was lost before I met you”, “you are my lover, my best friend, and the reason for my curl pattern” etc.

A few weeks or day later, here I am sitting with my popcorn and whiskey, because that’s what real people do, swiping feverishly through my TL and notice the infamous selfie coupled with a Rob Hill Sr. quote about how they can do bad all by themselves. Keep in mind that this is the same person who was just on their Jordan Sparks “tell me how I’m supposed to breathe without air” flow three days ago and now they have gained that unfortunate 27 week gap between their photos.

It is very unfortunate to see someone’s Instagram go from 1,200 posts to all of 80. When they delete these photos, it seems as though they want us to Men in Black those images like they never happened. They want us to forget and not mention them falling victim to Premature Bae Posting Syndrome (PBPS). And now they become this bitter person with all these textgrams screaming that they are a strong independent person who doesn’t need a lover to validate them.

This could have all been avoided if they had a built their relationship on a solid foundation. Wikipedia and google searches have taught me that a solid foundation is key for longevity and sustainability. Posting and deleting shows the world that you lack such and that you have yet to learn your lessons from past relationships. That solid foundation is crucial before opening up your relationship to the online community. No one wants to be embarrassed. You’ve spent a number of weeks posting about this “significant other” only to have to delete and now are burdened to explain your business to the masses. You’re now forced to relive every moment of this breakup, all because you wanted to document how bae caught you slipping. Now you’ve slipped and fell into embarrassment and I am sure there’s no filter that goes well with that.

When you participate in PBPS you open the floodgates for a bevy of wrong and misfortune. We get that you’re excited about the new possibility for consistent sex, but please be smart about your actions. Always make sure that the relationship status is mutual. It’s no fun being head over heels for someone when they only consider you nothing more than a means to “get off.” God didn’t place you on this earth for one sided relationships and you should not be complacent with them either. There is no sufficient explanation for every single post on your social media account be dedicated to one person, while you’re not even a thought on there’s. You cannot expect people to take you or your relationship seriously when you have a new post of someone every other week.
Practicing discretion is key. In the beginning of a relationship the foundation can be a little shaky and one small emoji can bring things crumbling down.

There are people in this world that want nothing but negativity for you and would jump at a chance to steal your happiness, don’t let them. Always keep the lines of communication open and stay on the same page. If not, you become the person that we screenshot and laugh at and I am sure that is not the life you want for yourself.

There are other ways to show your love than through probating your love on Instagram. When in a relationship, you need to move at a pace that is comfortable for you and your partner. Do not compare your relationship to others and think that this is the norm for everyone. No relationship is built the same. Instead of premature posting, let’s try consistent communication, corporeal means of affection, cooking dinner in their favorite position, just to name a few. If anything remember that Lil Wayne dropped an African American proverb that informed you that “Real G’s move in silence.” Now govern yourselves accordingly.

Corey Townsend

Corey resides in the land of hobbits and homosexuals, also known as the District of Columbia. Being a firm believer in on-time rent payments, Corey has employed himself as a Social media strategist by day and a freelance writer by night. He also is a writer for an award-winning web series and connoisseur of all things brunch related.

  • BrownGirlGoneBourbon

    And yet, saying absolutely nothing at all about your bae on social media…..still an option. Still free.

    • PhlyyPhree

      #STILL

    • PaddyfotePrincess

      You’ve said a word ma’am.

    • AlwaysCC

      i can’t remember the last time i talked about my bae…and i’m married, so he ain’t going anywhere lol in fact, we ain’t even friends, so even if i did talk about him, i couldn’t tag him

    • HeyBooHey

      This word on today. Free.99! I was with a dude for 7yrs and he got maybe 10 pics total, and that’s when FB was poppin. People used to ask why I didn’t talk/post about him – cuz he’s MY business, he don’t belong to the timeline bewbew

      • Glockenspiel

        I was with a guy for 6 years and rarely posted any pics of us. I’ve seen many a folk social media accounts crash and burn a failed relationship. Thankfully, I had enough sense not to post my engagement and subsequent disengagement. Win!

        • HeyBooHey

          *claps* You and I read from the same manual lol. When we broke up, nobody knew or needed to know. I had time to heal before I got the questions at Thanksgiving. I try to told people, FB/social media is the devil when it comes to relationships. I’m straight on that

          • Glockenspiel

            Mmmmohmygod! Same here! Thanksgiving 2014 was super awkward when my fam was asking where him was. The look of confusion on people’s faces when I responded with “he’s with his family” was awesome. Luckily, I was over it by then.

            • HeyBooHey

              I swear, same here lmao. Thanksgiving 2012 was ALLA the questions and that was my exact response! Everybody looked befuddled as fcuk and I was kickin it eating turkey

            • cakes_and_pies

              That was me Thanksgiving 2008. Everyone was asking where he was since he came with me for Thanksgiving 2007. I was like “He’s not with me, can I get some more dressing?”.

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    • miss t-lee

      Yup.

    • Melissa

      Seriously, my boyfriend’s presence on my Instagram consists of pictures I made him take of me in various outfits. I’m 34, he’s 37…pictures of us touching each other would just be unseemly.

  • Don’t tell ’em anything. I like to sleuth out the drama. I go to pages, I read subliminals…It’s all very entertaining.

    • HAHA

      Very entertaining

    • PhlyyPhree

      HIGHly entertaining. It’s like a game of Clue for me

    • Lea Thrace

      I do this instead of watching tv. Tends to be much more entertaining.

      • Aye Bee

        Me too!!! I travel for work and hardly cut on my tv bc social media is entertaining enough and can be viewed while stretching.lol

      • AlwaysCC

        my (very few) FB friends rarely have drama. so, my friend sends me screenshots of the stuff that happens in her TL lol soem of the stuff she sends me has me ugly laughing/snorting at my desk

        • Sigma_Since 93

          I find that my younger relatives have FB drama or post inappropriate stuff. I’m like cuz how are you going to go interview for the job at noon and you’re talking about waking and baking at 10:30 on FB???

          • AlwaysCC

            because of that reason, i am only friends with 1 of my younger cousins on fb lol

        • Lea Thrace

          Oh it’s never *my* friends. (Well, it used to be my niece when she was in the 17-19 age range. She’s wised up since then thank the lawd).

          It is almost always a friend of a friend that I stumble upon cause all their ish is set to public. Stupid people will forever be my entertainment.

          • PhlyyPhree

            I loveeeee the people who leave their profiles public “because I ain’t got nothing to hide. Why they all up in my business anyway?”

            Because you put it out there for people like me to be in. Thank you for the entertainment.

            • Lea Thrace

              Public profiles are the reason I know so much about people I have never met. I also love profiles set to public because it means I do not have to have a profile on said platform to see all your business. No IG or Twitter or anything for me.

          • AlwaysCC

            i need lessons! how can i find these people?!?!

            • Lea Thrace

              Maybe start off with someone with bad grammar/bad spelling/tYpe$ lik dis. Look for someone who is under the age of 25. Someone who posts inspirational pics or quotes that are attributed incorrectly or sourced from an Instagram prophet/ashy Larry extraordinaire. Generally, these types are not smart enough to set their ish to private. So you can find their Fb, twitter , and IG cause its set to public.

              Also racists.

              Do these things and you shall stay winning with entertainment.

          • I was all up in this girl public FB profile on Monday (I was home sick, so what else I got to do?) because she tagged my cousin in her bday celebrations.

            Man! After some scrolls, I started screen grabbing stuff and sending them to my friend because this girl was soooo about that side chick life. She had posted memes about how if a dude keeps goign back to the same woman then the wife needs to “humble” herself and ask the side chick for pointers or how if a dude is paying the bills, let him get his cheat on.

            I was like, is this real life?

    • HeyBooHey

      There’s nothing like when you stumble upon a love triangle or lovers’ quarrel with other parties involved. Gotta pop the popcorn and follow the ratchet trail of social media drama

      • My favorite was when one of my ex FWB was posting about his #WCW and #KWEEN everyday for like a week, then one day did a total 180 on her…calling her all out her name…i’m like O_O *to the search bar!*

        • HeyBooHey

          Oh ESPECIALLY when it’s a dude who throws subliminal/unsubliminal shade! Those are always the best, their emotions come swimming out like sharks to blood!

          • HAHA

            We are in the era of the Chris Brown emo dudes. Never before have grown men acted so petty on social media during a break up. The things I have seen…smh.

            • I blame the parents of these dudes. Technology changes but handling your business remains the same.

              • HAHA

                These are grown and supposedly educated men who should know better. Don’t blame no ones Momma for that mess.

                • QuirlyGirly

                  But certain parts of your upbringing stay with you all your life.

                  If you are not taught properly, you will not act accordingly.

                  • HAHA

                    I agree to an extent. However, blaming your parents for continued bad behavior is a cop out to me. Especially since most of our parents grew up in an era where they were taught to keep their business private.

                    • AlwaysCC

                      yep. at some point, you have to be responsible enough to do better. even if you weren’t taught how to at home.

                    • HAHA

                      Bingo

                    • QuirlyGirly

                      True at some point it is time to make decisions that will make you a better overall person and not thoroughly petty or passive aggressive.

            • HeyBooHey

              Listen. When a man goes off, I watch. EVERYTIME. Cuz they tell on themselves, they momma and everybody else. No stone remains unturned when an emo dude is hurt.

              • HAHA

                I always wonder if other women are paying attention to how he is dogging out the woman who was just his everything. I mean didn’t he just say she was an answer to prayer, the woman of his dreams but yet here he is on IG/FB bashing her.

                Ladies pay very close attention to how a man responds after a break-up. It tells so much about his character.

                • HeyBooHey

                  This. WORD! I watch how men talk about their exes for that very reason. That tells me everything. If you’re still butthurt 3yrs later, we can’t eem be friends cuz that’s a red flag for issues

                  • HAHA

                    Yes. Look at how a man treats and responds to an ex. Listen to what he says about her. Look at how he reacts if they still have to communicate because of finances or if there is a child involved. It will tell you so much. If he is an enraged maniac every time that ex is mentioned…RUN!

                    As an aside, be very careful of men who are always victims in past relationships. If all of his relationships ended due to what someone else did or didn’t did or he takes pride in telling you how he kicked each woman to the curb because of this that or the other…RUN! This is the biggest red flag of all…RUN! This man is big problems.

                    • “he takes pride in telling you how he kicked each woman to the curb…”

                      *grabs red flag* *starts waving * I hope Rutgers pulls off the upset this weekend.

                    • HeyBooHey

                      All of the YES! I’m dealing with someone who has a child and anytime he speaks to his child’s mother, my ears perk up. He gets upset at times but overall it’s amicable. Any other way and we never would’ve gone far

                  • Jennifer

                    This might be my #3 dating rule.

                • fxd8424

                  No, they think they’re somehow different.

        • These comments are going to get me fired. ROTFLMAO

        • Pinks

          The funniest I’ve ever seen was this girl who was complaining about her dude leaving flirty messages on other women’s pages. Her words were something like: “I’m so heartbroken, I don’t know why he keeps doing this to me. Anyone who knows me, can you tell me what you think I can do to make it better”

          His comment: FOH don’t nobody care about his SH…T.

          to this day, that phrase is a staple in me and my friends’ group chat. talk about COM-MO-DEE

      • Illumina

        A few years ago one of my cousins was in the middle of a facebook triangle that resulted in a paternity test being posted. It was crazy! She would post something, then the dude would post something, then the other woman would post something. This went on for HOURS!

        We were in our home office and sis kept gasping and shaking her head at the foolishness; eyes still stayed on the screen and the browser tab stayed open. She said she couldn’t stop herself from watching; it was like watching a train wreck.

        • I’ve only seen one social media fight play out. There was so much all caps it made me giggle.

          • Illumina

            “There was so much all caps it made me giggle.”

            I forgot about that. They were definitely more all caps usage than was necessary.

            i felt bad for my cousin more than anything else because there was all this fighting and drama over an ain’t s h i t dude.

            • It is always some stupid dude that loves the attention in the middle of it.

          • Melissa

            THE CAPS!! One of my the girls I grew up with did the “I don’t know what to do because *EX’S FULL LEGAL NAME* won’t stop stalking me, he said blah blah and blah to Person A/B/C and PLEASE NO COMMENTS.” Lady…you don’t want comments now?!

            Did I mention that this woman is a professional life coach? Because that’s what she does. Tell people how to run their lives. A year later, I still need a minute.

        • PhlyyPhree

          I LOVE IT WHEN THEY POST RECEIPTS!!!!
          My friend tagged me to one about a week ago where the “wronged” chick was posting hotel receipts and flight info and bringing up past screenshots and texts with the date stamp for veracity. She even went as far as to compare HER trips to the guys house and the recipes he cooked for her, with the #FoodPron dishes that the other chick would post when SHE was at the guys house. She was De-tailed and tho-rough.
          I laughed for a good hour going through all of that.

          • Illumina

            you’re a better person than me. I got halfway through that s h i t with my cuz and was like:

        • HeyBooHey

          And those train wrecks are the saddest but THEE best ones to watch unfold. All those posts?? A paternity test?! Was it stamped as official? Did it show the absolute percentile of parentage? I got questions now….

          • Illumina

            I assume it was official. I don’t know for sure and really didn’t care enough.

            It all started (IIRC) when the other woman attempted to file for child support. Obviously, Facebook is the perfect medium for these types of conversations. ( /s )

            He said the child wasn’t his; she said the child was. So he and the girl were going at it back and forth calling each other liars, Then cuz gets on to defend her man, so her and the girl start going at it.

            Then all three of them tumbled down down the rabbit hole and that’s when the paternity test got posted. S h i t didn’t end there. They went round and round and round. I gave up halfway through. My sister sat in her chair watching it all unfold She was speechless which is one heck of an accomplishment because she likes to talk alot.

            The dude wasn’t even worth it (IMHO), but my cuz had two kids with him so it was love I guess. I just felt bad for her. He had obviously slept with the woman. Even he didn’t deny that, but she was still on there defending him. I think she disconnected from Facebook for a while (like years) after all that went down.

    • Asiyah

      LOL Twilisha I feel you on that *blushes*

  • PhlyyPhree

    “Posting and deleting shows the world that you lack (foundation) and that you have yet to learn your lessons from past relationships”

    Those who try to forget their past baes are doomed to repeat them.

  • HAHA

    “There are other ways to show your love than through probating your love on Instagram”

    Corey, can I call you SIR Corey? From now on you are Sir Corey because you have come with a word.

    You forgot to mention there are other ways to show your love than through probating your love on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and the like.

    Nothing is sadder to watch than the demise of a relationship on social media. Nothing is more painful to screenshot than a woman pretending to be happy with hopes that on the off chance her ex sees her new improved smiled…without him. No screenshot hurts like the one of an ex who comments on random women’s photos on Instagram or post subliminal messages on Facebook venting his childish anger meanwhile the world is laughing…at him. You Sir…you madame…you look like a fool. And we are laughing at you.

  • HeyBooHey

    First, I’d like to say that the first line of your bio almost removed me from earth.

    Second, this finely worded post needs to be handed out to all who dare to prematurely post their “new boo” on the medias of social. Literally just had a cackle with a friend over her homegirl who just posted about the “wind beneath her wings” a smooth 3 months ago but married a whole other man who’s “her king” last week. I’on want people telling their whole lives and killing me softly but shout out to those that amuse me when they do

    • HAHA

      She is a lucky woman having found a man who was the wind beneath her wings and then a King…lol.

      • HeyBooHey

        Indeed. Her ability to bounce back in less than a month was a true inspiration

    • If that marriage lasts more than two years, I’ll have $ex in missionary with the lights off for the rest of my life. Seriously.

      • HeyBooHey

        I’ll keep you posted but it appears both of those occurrences would be a miracle

        • Talk about hustling ALL THE WAY backwards. Sounds like another victim of wanting a marriage not a husband syndrome.

          • HeyBooHey

            Woooooo PLEASE don’t get me started on that topic. Someone just blew my entire life cuz she suffers from that very syndrome. I could go on for days about that sickness

            • *Will.i.am voice* let’s get it started! It’ll distract me from my own drama. LOL

              • HeyBooHey

                I don’t know who’s in these streets *peepin eye emojis*

                But let’s just say a friend completely lost her mind and acted a ways cuz she had a moment of weakness and took it out on the crew. Basically, she wants marriage but I’m not so sure she understands that an actual relationship (that she’s clearly unequipped to actually execute) is apart of that equation. I cannot with women who just wanna get married but fail to realize that it’s two people coming together, not just pretty pictures and a big dress

                • Men pull that same stuff. That’s how you end up with two angry women instead of one.

                  • HeyBooHey

                    Men intrigue me when it comes to relationships. I literally study my guy friends’ thoughts and decisions and the ish STILL never makes sense

                    • We have our own personal systems of axioms based on absolutely nothing. It worked on one girl, one time and decided to run with it for life.

                    • HeyBooHey

                      Exactly. And whenever I figure out their ways, they act like I’ve unlocked the mystery of eternal life. “How do you know that?!” Cuz, men are simple…

                    • Never let us know that you have the code key. Usually we don’t know we are that easy to figure out. We all think we are deep and complex until some woman pulls our card for no reason.

                    • HeyBooHey

                      Only my boys learn I be knowin. And the latest guy, I had to pull his card cuz he thought I was a dumb one. His mind – > BLOWN

                  • Simone_was_taken

                    That last line though

                • The wedding industry gets their bonus money off that last sentence. If anything, the fact that fewer people are getting married are emboldening the idiots. Like a pretty dress and a nice party make up for the the fact your life sucks. Nah suh!

                  • QuirlyGirly

                    I don’t know were some women get that mess from.

                    If you want wear a pretty dress and have a nice party, go to a formal.

                    • fxd8424

                      Where they get it from is the Disney empire they’ve been weaned on. Like Cinderella, who met her Prince, women are captivated by meeting “The One,” riding off in the sunset and living happily ever after. Being a bride is the closest thing a woman gets to being a Princess. I cringe when I hear grown women say “our wedding was just like a fairytale.”

                    • Nahknee_nanee

                      But what if her fairytale ain’t no Cinderella fairytale? What if her fairytale is the wedding going fair enough for her? What if all she needed for it to be a fairytale was for her momma to show up, for Uncle Junebug not to be #chocolatewasted and having baby cousin Niq-Niq fetch him a beer from the bottom of the cooler, and for the preacher to pronounce her name right at the altar? Don’t cringe boo. She ain’t need no Disney. I’m just saying, it’s very possible for a woman to get her own personal fairytale, without it being the disillusioned, “he got muhney”, Disney version.

                      *sliding back in the cut for a moment-*

                  • HeyBooHey

                    And that’s fine. But then, it’s annoying cuz people don’t take accountability. When your ish implodes cuz you forgot to actually participate in a marriage after the venue was paid for, don’t whine about how you were done so wrong if you weren’t coming to the table either. I’m just glad she’s the only one out of the crew like that

                • QuirlyGirly

                  I too have a friend who wants to get married. This chick is a hater on anyone in love tho..She will be like “why they got to hold hands in public, they gonna break up soon anyway.” I like dang girl what the world is wrong with you!

                  • HeyBooHey

                    Listen, this girl literally will not come out with us if there are couples included. We’re doing a trip and a majority are coming with their SOs, she declined. She trips whenever anyone she knows gets engaged/married/pregnant/some new d*ck. She can’t be happy for anyone who’s happy cuz she’s unhappy. I just wanna pull her to the side, stare her in the eyes and say “you DO realize that’s why you have no man right?!?!”

                    • “I just wanna pull her to the side, stare her in the eyes and say “you DO realize that’s why you have no man right?!?!””

                      This may be the wake up call she needs. You might just save her from a dyckless existence.

                    • Nope. I have that friend. I’ve tried to have the “no man wants your bitter taste in his mouth” conversation, but her ears weren’t having it.

                    • good point- everybody’s not tryna hear the truth

                    • HeyBooHey

                      Nah, she don’t wanna be saved smh. Sadly I don’t think that would help

                    • so sad smh

                    • QuirlyGirly

                      I want to say that to my friend soo bad but I just don’t want the drama, I don’t got the energy or the time to deal with- Why you say that, you are a *insert expletive*

                    • HeyBooHey

                      My thoughts exactly

  • Agatha Guilluame

    I’m here for this.

    • When are YOU posting again tho? I’m lookin’ for ya *Future voice*

      • Agatha Guilluame

        Next Tuesday! I promise.

        • QuirlyGirly

          Good! I will be looking forward to it. Your posts get me thru my Tuesdays

        • PDL – Cape Girl

          Yay!

  • Michelle

    I talk about this all the time with my cousin. I can’t lie, all of it amuses me. But the nice side of me feels bad when people end up looking stupid. Well, that depends on the person lol. If only mugs knew how to chill…

  • *dead and gone* More from Corey please!

  • AlwaysCC

    1st of all, i don’t appreshate chu having your description include “the reason for my curl pattern” – that made me chuckle for entirely too long.

    nothing beats the long explanation post that inevitably happens about a month after all the pictures stop getting posted. always pure comedy – especially the hashtags #independentwoman #blessednotstressed #godwillprovide #morefishinthesea #greatcatchrighthere

    • LOL that’s so pathetic!

    • HeyBooHey

      Oh, the hashtags!!!! #tooblessedtobestressed #thankGodyoublewit #newyearnewme The R&B song references are a personal fave

      • You forgot #GodsChild LOL

        • HeyBooHey

          #Icandobadbymydamnself #Godgotme

          • Heck, anyone who isn’t religious who suddenly starts breaking out hash tags with the word God in them is on some BS.

            • HeyBooHey

              The ones who find God when they lose their boo usually become the most religious. Gospel song vines errday, allday til the new one comes along

              • You know you’re like shading 25% of all Black church parishioners right? LOL

                • HeyBooHey

                  LOL! I’m pretty sure that’s what makes up about 15% of my church so #facts

      • AlwaysCC

        yes!! the song references are always on point! #notgoncry #allcriedout #forgetyou

        • HeyBooHey

          EGGS-actly!!!

    • Guest

      I can’t wait till people stop using Independent woman. We are ALL independent women there’s nothing magical about it. We all work and sustain ourselves, very few people can support an additional adult in this economy.

  • Avery

    I say this all the time, and folks look at me like I have two heads. When you post consistently about someone for a week, then the post mysteriously stop, folks will catch on. Now you look like boo boo the fool.

    Non related to the post, I’m fairly new to VSB (love it so far), but I’m incredibly weak at the writer’s bio. “Corey resides in the land of hobbits and homosexuals, also known as the District of Columbia.” LOL!

    • Word!

    • AlwaysCC

      all of the writer bios make me laugh, but that line really did it today lol

      • Avery

        Same! Like I said, I’m new to this blog, but I’m quickly discovering all the writers are frickin’ hilarious. Lol

    • Keisha

      Welcome!!! :-)

    • QuirlyGirly

      I don’t want people I know in my business why put it out there for the world to see.

      Welcome – feel free to bring snacks – we like snacks!

    • Guest

      Black people are too worried about looking stupid.

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