Theory & Essay

Plus De Personnes.

I just got finished watching Judge Hatchett.  I rarely watch these court shows but I picked the right time to watch.

So on this particular episode, a man and a woman are on trying to establish paternity of the woman’s son.  So let the games begin.

Here’s what we know:

1)  dude is already married.

2) he got drunk one night and began flirting with the woman.  he and woman engaged in a little lickemhighlickemlow.

3) however, dude doesn’t actually REMEMBER having relations with her.

Da hell?  He was that drunk that he doesn’t remember at all.  Well, I guess thats possible..except ole girl said that he wasn’t even drunk or not even close to visibly drunk.

Hmm.

4) the relations…HAPPENED AT HIS FATHER-IN-LAW’S HOME.  AND HIS FATHER-IN-LAW WAS THERE.  AWAKE.  SAW HIM COME IN WITH THE OTHER WOMAN.

Whoa whoa whoa.  I’m sorry.  I just don’t believe this for the life of me.  This does not happen.  Not in America, Jack.  Somebody’s been bamboozled.  Possibly even hoodwinked?

Has anybody seen Plymouth Rock?

There is no way in the living.squirrel.f*ck. that a man is going to allow his daughter’s husband to CHEAT ON HIS DAUGHTER knowingly AND in his own home.

Yeah.  No.

Thing is.  That’s what happened.  Dude even said, “your honor, i wouldn’t believe it either if I wasn’t involved.”

And the coup de grace:

5)  their son’s name is Dequarius.  Or DeQuarious.  Or DeKwhere-e-us.

We don’t believe you.  You need more people.  If I hadn’t seent this show with these people with mine own two eyes, I wouldn’t believe this.  No way, no how, nuh uh.

Well, this particular show got me thinking about the good people of VSB.com.  You see, nearly all of us have come with some kind of story that most of us, for lack of a better term, don’t believe.  Folks got stories of women threatening to go play in traffic if I they were to break up with her them.

By the way, she ALSO pulled a knife and threatened to stab herself to which I replied, “you better call your ex with that BS.  either that or one yourself.  it’s time to sh*t or get off the pot, chicky.”

And by the way, it is the dude’s son.

In essence, nearly everybody on this site gets questioned about some of their stories.  But you know what, a lot of these stories are true.  Whether I believe you or not.

And with that said, good folks of VSB, what’s THE MOST outlandish relationship story you have?  Or what’s the most outlandish thing you’ve done in regards to the opposite sechs?  I’m talking the one that nobody believes no matter how often you tell it the exact same way. Some of you have shared whoppers, but others have been holding back.

Judge Jackson wants to know.  VSB wants to know.  Do it for the children.  Do it for the people.

Do it for Dequarius.  Or DeQuarious.  Or Dekwhere-e-us.

Share.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P

Filed Under:
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • eff yo couch

    am I first?

    • postmodern pwnage

      @eff yo couch, damn it! you beat me! why? why? i was so close! excuse me while i go swallow bleach :(

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @postmodern pwnage,

        Don’t do that. All you will get in your honor is an old azz egg sammich and a robo-call to A&R that Luvvie pre-recoded in Autotune to set up your funergro.

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

          @PBG,

          on the call it will be playing “Donk” in the background.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @Relax, Relate, Alise,

            *not quite dead, but having chest pains*

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @Relax, Relate, Alise,

            *not quite dead, but having chest pains*

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

          @PBG,

          on the call it will be playing “Donk” in the background.

        • postmodern pwnage

          @PBG, LOL
          i have since calmed down. congrats eff!

        • postmodern pwnage

          @PBG, LOL
          i have since calmed down. congrats eff!

      • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

        @postmodern pwnage,

        Don’t do that. All you will get in your honor is an old azz egg sammich and a robo-call to A&R that Luvvie pre-recoded in Autotune to set up your funergro.

    • postmodern pwnage

      @eff yo couch, damn it! you beat me! why? why? i was so close! excuse me while i go swallow bleach :(

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @eff yo couch, smh

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @eff yo couch, smh

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @eff yo couch,

      hilarity!

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @eff yo couch,

      hilarity!

    • eff yo couch

      OMG!! I’m too sleepy, plus I’m not prepared to give an acceptance speech. Oh what the hell . . .

      First I want to thank God, without Him none of this is possible. The good people of VSB, thank you for the many hours of entertainment while I’m at work. If it was for everyone on VSB (and this flask in my desk) I’d probably would have went postal a long time ago. While I’m here I’d like to thank, Mom and Dad, they knew the time . . .
      *pauses to wipe tear from eye*

      Most importantly I want to thank the person who introduced to this wonderful site (the messed up part is I can’t remember who put me down . . .I guess that’s my crazy story for the day)

      *the dj starts playing the wrap it up music*

      Thanks and shyt!!!

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @eff yo couch,

        *standing ovation…contemplates throwing draws onstage…just bought a new pair at the walmarts*

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @eff yo couch,

        *standing ovation…contemplates throwing draws onstage…just bought a new pair at the walmarts*

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        @eff yo couch,

        Please… go SAT DOWN. There’s a stool waiting for you. Think bout your life.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        @eff yo couch,

        Please… go SAT DOWN. There’s a stool waiting for you. Think bout your life.

      • charli skipper

        @eff yo couch, loves it! and no one deserves this more than you.

      • charli skipper

        @eff yo couch, loves it! and no one deserves this more than you.

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        @eff yo couch,
        Congrats homie. *salute* lol.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @Monk,

          Yooo Monk. I responded with a defense of Xmas on P&A. Check it out. U and GK hurt its feelings

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            @Luvvie,

            That shyt was hilarious, even though I don’t agree w/you making nice w/that buster-a$$, mark-a$$, trick-a$$ ninja Christmas.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @PBG,

              whats p&a?

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @shatani,

                P&A is a blog that Luvvie writes w/Genius Khan.

                He’s Powerful and she’s Awesome. It’s great!

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @shatani,

                P&A is a blog that Luvvie writes w/Genius Khan.

                He’s Powerful and she’s Awesome. It’s great!

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @shatani,

                oooooh! muy interesante! whats the link? i wanna go see!

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @shatani,

                oooooh! muy interesante! whats the link? i wanna go see!

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @PBG,

              whats p&a?

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            @Luvvie,

            That shyt was hilarious, even though I don’t agree w/you making nice w/that buster-a$$, mark-a$$, trick-a$$ ninja Christmas.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @Monk,

          Yooo Monk. I responded with a defense of Xmas on P&A. Check it out. U and GK hurt its feelings

      • http://myspace.com/thomasforbes Monk

        @eff yo couch,
        Congrats homie. *salute* lol.

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @eff yo couch,

        *stands up and claps* Woooo! Very nice speech!

        Shatani, save yo draws girl, you paid good money for em and although the speech was good, it wasn’t pannie-worthy, lol. It’s a recession, dammit.

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @eff yo couch,

        *stands up and claps* Woooo! Very nice speech!

        Shatani, save yo draws girl, you paid good money for em and although the speech was good, it wasn’t pannie-worthy, lol. It’s a recession, dammit.

      • overit

        @eff yo couch, I’m surprised V.E.G. and Intellectual Hedonist aint ruin your party with their “am i first is not a real post”.

        Hmph!

        Congrats though friend, I’M happy for you!

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @overit, you know I considered raining on eff’s parade but I had just gotten back from having a wonderful dinner, with great dessert and some wine so I was feeling great. But TODAY is a new day and EFF know’s that “am i first” is not a real post.

          @ eff yo couch, you know you know better, you been here long enought to know!

          snatches award first post award and storms off stage

          • eff yo couch

            @Intellectual Hedonist,

            Nooooooo, not my award. Now I know how Vanessa Williams feels . . . this is some bullshyt . . .but it’s cool I won’t get upset, I’ll just kick a hole in the speaker, pull a plug, and then jet . . .

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              @eff yo couch,

              “Now I know how Vanessa Williams feels”

              LMAO. Eff… YOU STOOPID

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              @eff yo couch,

              “Now I know how Vanessa Williams feels”

              LMAO. Eff… YOU STOOPID

            • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

              @eff yo couch, hold on there microphone Fiend….at least you got an award even if it was unceremoniously revoked…LMAO

              oh and
              Now I know how Vanessa Williams feels”
              BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

            • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

              @eff yo couch, hold on there microphone Fiend….at least you got an award even if it was unceremoniously revoked…LMAO

              oh and
              Now I know how Vanessa Williams feels”
              BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

          • eff yo couch

            @Intellectual Hedonist,

            Nooooooo, not my award. Now I know how Vanessa Williams feels . . . this is some bullshyt . . .but it’s cool I won’t get upset, I’ll just kick a hole in the speaker, pull a plug, and then jet . . .

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @overit, you know I considered raining on eff’s parade but I had just gotten back from having a wonderful dinner, with great dessert and some wine so I was feeling great. But TODAY is a new day and EFF know’s that “am i first” is not a real post.

          @ eff yo couch, you know you know better, you been here long enought to know!

          snatches award first post award and storms off stage

      • overit

        @eff yo couch, I’m surprised V.E.G. and Intellectual Hedonist aint ruin your party with their “am i first is not a real post”.

        Hmph!

        Congrats though friend, I’M happy for you!

    • eff yo couch

      OMG!! I’m too sleepy, plus I’m not prepared to give an acceptance speech. Oh what the hell . . .

      First I want to thank God, without Him none of this is possible. The good people of VSB, thank you for the many hours of entertainment while I’m at work. If it was for everyone on VSB (and this flask in my desk) I’d probably would have went postal a long time ago. While I’m here I’d like to thank, Mom and Dad, they knew the time . . .
      *pauses to wipe tear from eye*

      Most importantly I want to thank the person who introduced to this wonderful site (the messed up part is I can’t remember who put me down . . .I guess that’s my crazy story for the day)

      *the dj starts playing the wrap it up music*

      Thanks and shyt!!!

  • eff yo couch

    am I first?

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    i dont really have any outlandish stories…im a pretty mild mannered chick. i will say though, i believe your story about the “i hate you, dont leave me” chick…ive seen that a lot in my line o’ work. in this age of terrible parenting, that kind of crazy is more common that most folks think!

    i do have a story about the time i made so many poor choices on a first date that i couldve easily ended up on the side of a milk carton! i think back on that and shudder at the utter stupidity. *smh*

    • Princess Duvet

      @shatani, “i dont really have any outlandish stories…im a pretty mild mannered chick.”

      me too… Charles Kuralt was half crazy when he said “everybody has a story”.

      lookin up toward the heavans..no errybody don’t Charles..no errybody don’t (yes don’t)..

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @Princess Duvet,

        thats why i just really never got the ABW stereotype…cuz generally, most of the negrettes that i know are also pretty mild mannered chicks.

        • Princess Duvet

          @shatani”thats why i just really never got the ABW stereotype…cuz generally, most of the negrettes that i know are also pretty mild mannered chicks.”

          me neither…btw..”mild mannered negrettes” is actually coming on the hallmark channel next month its a four part series. I heard its a lot crying going on…but not narry one of them gets ABW.. not one.

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @Princess Duvet,

            that ish is gonna get NO ratings!

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @Princess Duvet,

            that ish is gonna get NO ratings!

          • Luvtheshoes

            @Princess Duvet,

            It plays at the same time as the Bad Girls Club to counteract all that foolishness

            • V Renee

              @Luvtheshoes

              Ummmmmm I have a confession. I LOVE the Bad Girls Club. I can’t get enough of it!!!!!!!

              “The devil called. He wants yall to come home………..BYTCHES”

              • http://www.pbghappenings.blogspot.com PBG

                @V Renee,

                I effin’ LOVE Bad Girls Club and I am not ashamed to admit it. Everybody already knows how much I love ig’nance…just look @ my e-crew: Alise & Luvvie! LMAO!!

                And my crew is NIIICE!

              • http://www.pbghappenings.blogspot.com PBG

                @V Renee,

                I effin’ LOVE Bad Girls Club and I am not ashamed to admit it. Everybody already knows how much I love ig’nance…just look @ my e-crew: Alise & Luvvie! LMAO!!

                And my crew is NIIICE!

            • V Renee

              @Luvtheshoes

              Ummmmmm I have a confession. I LOVE the Bad Girls Club. I can’t get enough of it!!!!!!!

              “The devil called. He wants yall to come home………..BYTCHES”

          • Luvtheshoes

            @Princess Duvet,

            It plays at the same time as the Bad Girls Club to counteract all that foolishness

        • Princess Duvet

          @shatani”thats why i just really never got the ABW stereotype…cuz generally, most of the negrettes that i know are also pretty mild mannered chicks.”

          me neither…btw..”mild mannered negrettes” is actually coming on the hallmark channel next month its a four part series. I heard its a lot crying going on…but not narry one of them gets ABW.. not one.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @shatani, I think everybody has a story..things that seem normal and run of the meal to you might be totally wild and ridiculous to someone else. You never know…the stories I tell you guys aint shyt compared to the stories I could tell of my family shyt I am the boring one to them….

          • Princess Duvet

            @Shay-d-lady, “I think everybody has a story”

            i do to…i was e-lyin on Charlie..sorry shatani :(

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @Princess Duvet,

              lmao! its alright…i think everyone has a story as well…i just dont think my story is particularly interesting. it aint bestseller list material and shyt.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @Princess Duvet,

              lmao! its alright…i think everyone has a story as well…i just dont think my story is particularly interesting. it aint bestseller list material and shyt.

          • Princess Duvet

            @Shay-d-lady, “I think everybody has a story”

            i do to…i was e-lyin on Charlie..sorry shatani :(

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @shatani, I think everybody has a story..things that seem normal and run of the meal to you might be totally wild and ridiculous to someone else. You never know…the stories I tell you guys aint shyt compared to the stories I could tell of my family shyt I am the boring one to them….

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @Princess Duvet,

        thats why i just really never got the ABW stereotype…cuz generally, most of the negrettes that i know are also pretty mild mannered chicks.

    • Princess Duvet

      @shatani, “i dont really have any outlandish stories…im a pretty mild mannered chick.”

      me too… Charles Kuralt was half crazy when he said “everybody has a story”.

      lookin up toward the heavans..no errybody don’t Charles..no errybody don’t (yes don’t)..

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    i dont really have any outlandish stories…im a pretty mild mannered chick. i will say though, i believe your story about the “i hate you, dont leave me” chick…ive seen that a lot in my line o’ work. in this age of terrible parenting, that kind of crazy is more common that most folks think!

    i do have a story about the time i made so many poor choices on a first date that i couldve easily ended up on the side of a milk carton! i think back on that and shudder at the utter stupidity. *smh*

  • jana.love

    i’mma be right back. i have to go construct my shizz. it’s a novel. my bad to the hooked on phonicers who can’t go pass 3 paragraphs. just move on.

  • jana.love

    i’mma be right back. i have to go construct my shizz. it’s a novel. my bad to the hooked on phonicers who can’t go pass 3 paragraphs. just move on.

  • jana.love

    whoooooo.

    my cousin, love her to death, is one of the most retarded females i have ever met. chick is BEAUTIFUL, mixed with spanish, chinese, black AND from the caribbean, so she got quadruple exoticbustanutness about her. but man, the shit she’s caught up in right now is just bonkers.

    came to ny in 2001, located 3 guys and a girl she went to school with, started hanging out and having a good time with her homies. met her friend’s grumpy cousin, and “hung out” with him even more. it worked well, everybody chilled, they hooked up, he was from florida, chillin in ny for a bit. cool beans. she likes said grumpy guy and wanted a bit more, but he did have a young child[and a WIFE in FL]. he called her baby mamma and said they were over, but of course my cuz didn’t know they were married [and still together]. but you would think the fact that he did not give you a number and only called you blocked [in the wee hrs of the morning] was a hint. nope. she sucked it all up.

    i’m not gonna lie, dudes are really smart. he never once called her his gf or anything similar to that, he always said they were “friends” and she was the only one that understood him blah blah blah. so when the “wife” umm, calls your phone and cusses you out a few times a yr, that was what you went with. “we’re just friends :)”

    fast foward to 2006 when grumps said he was coming to ny to look for a job and needed a place to stay. oh yeah, you guessed it. she was helping out a “friend” for a few weeks and let him move it for “2 weeks”. dem 2 weeks turned into 1 and a half AND he didn’t pay your rent AND he worked [as an accct] and was never really out a job [he has a degree!]. hmmmmm. and in this time he called you AND your mamma out her name AND said you were worth nothing, but you ain’t kick him out?? oh good god.

    let’s speed it up again. in sept you tell me you’re breaking the lease and moving out, not bothering to sublet and were “positive” that company wasnt gonna sue you for the next 3 months rent. do i look i stick peanut butter in my nose? i ain’t stoopid!! i said, fine, what ever, YOUR LIFE, not mine. of course, she later confessed that she left HIM the apt cuz he wanted his daughter to move to ny [awwwwwwww] to be with him.

    with the WIFE in tow. HA! so you go to YOUR apt where this NINJA is stayin with his WIFE and child and you’re pissed? i’m sorry, why? oh btw, the wife works and he’s agreed to pay the rent while he was there, yet, he’s late with rent 2 months in a row and didn’t even pay the full amount! you pay the rest AND the late fee? hello? two working adults coming up short? don’t make me blow a gasket….

    the finale…
    so she decides she gonna move BACK into the apt when the lease renews in dec (instead of turning it over to him). and she gets some BALLS and goes over there to tell him he needs to move out NOW (aka nov 15thish) and take his shiz with him, because he didn’t even pay the rent, so jus call it even. what does this sucka say?? “i ain’t movin one flying $#*& till dec 15th and if you try to get me out i’ll tear this place apart.”

    her response? “oh ok.”

    :|

    thank god i work and go to school and i’m 3 hrs away. cuz i was damn near ready to put my braids in a scarf, get my sweats on, go whoop some ass, then call the cops and a locksmith. i been in a boxing class recently, i been yearning for a good ol whoopass session.[to test mah skills an ish]

    but i can’t do what someone doesn’t want to do.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @jana.love, this just made me angry. but i don’t know who i’m more angry with…your cousin or the dude. shoot, i’m about to call the police long distance. sheeeeeeit.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @jana.love, this just made me angry. but i don’t know who i’m more angry with…your cousin or the dude. shoot, i’m about to call the police long distance. sheeeeeeit.

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

      @jana.love,

      about every third sentence i was uttering an audible “Aw hayle NAW!!!”

      I’m mad at your cousin for being stuck on some ol silly stupid sh*t.

      I’m extra mad at dude for being so damn triflin… but then again, she LET him be triflin. Some dudes will get away with whatever you accept from them. So I’m back to being mad at your cousin again….

      Aight. I’m ALSO pissed at wifey because she KNEW she had a triflin ass husband and stayed married to him. Granted there was a child in the mix, but that’s no freaking excuse. Then again, given her “I work but I ain’t payin for sh*t and I’mma slide up in the side jawn’s bed” mess, she trife too…

      ohhh… this is just tooo much! Got my pressha up…

    • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

      @jana.love,

      about every third sentence i was uttering an audible “Aw hayle NAW!!!”

      I’m mad at your cousin for being stuck on some ol silly stupid sh*t.

      I’m extra mad at dude for being so damn triflin… but then again, she LET him be triflin. Some dudes will get away with whatever you accept from them. So I’m back to being mad at your cousin again….

      Aight. I’m ALSO pissed at wifey because she KNEW she had a triflin ass husband and stayed married to him. Granted there was a child in the mix, but that’s no freaking excuse. Then again, given her “I work but I ain’t payin for sh*t and I’mma slide up in the side jawn’s bed” mess, she trife too…

      ohhh… this is just tooo much! Got my pressha up…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @jana.love, well, damn.

      sad to say, we all know this woman. hell, i got a cousin who was that same girl. let her dude run all up and over her. bought dude a car, put it in her name under the condition he’d “make the payments”…which he never did once he realized that if he paid it or not his name and credit would be fine. her’s? not so much.

      so what does she do after her credit goes to the crapper (and it cost her a job too)…she gets this ninja an APT in her name too…lol.

      hayseuss be a credit counselor and therapist.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @jana.love, well, damn.

      sad to say, we all know this woman. hell, i got a cousin who was that same girl. let her dude run all up and over her. bought dude a car, put it in her name under the condition he’d “make the payments”…which he never did once he realized that if he paid it or not his name and credit would be fine. her’s? not so much.

      so what does she do after her credit goes to the crapper (and it cost her a job too)…she gets this ninja an APT in her name too…lol.

      hayseuss be a credit counselor and therapist.

    • http://www.museacdonline.etsy.com pgh muse

      @jana.love,

      tsk tsk tsk **shaking head real slow** she’ll get good and tired one day…

    • http://www.museacdonline.etsy.com pgh muse

      @jana.love,

      tsk tsk tsk **shaking head real slow** she’ll get good and tired one day…

    • Gem of the Ocean

      all i can say is WOWSERS.

    • Gem of the Ocean

      all i can say is WOWSERS.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @jana.love,

      this is one of the few 500 plus word comments ive ever read that was actually worth the 500 words.

      damn

      • jana.love

        @The Champ,

        lol, thanks champ. of course you know that is hardly the half man!!

        coincidentally, the “baby mamma” and her were on the same flight and the the baby moms cursed my cousin out infront of the whole flight callin her a wh0re and a sl&t and a home wrecker and she said nothing!!

        and then when they arrived at the airport, he was there to pick up his wife and child in a car, while you took a cab home…..BTW, they were still living together!! he straight up walked passed her and got their suitcases!!

        i’ve stopped praying for her and have accepted her stupidity. said thing is, she may say she is “over” him, but the minute he steps back and wants to be “best friends” again, she’ll be there open arm like a dayum fool and i know it.

      • jana.love

        @The Champ,

        lol, thanks champ. of course you know that is hardly the half man!!

        coincidentally, the “baby mamma” and her were on the same flight and the the baby moms cursed my cousin out infront of the whole flight callin her a wh0re and a sl&t and a home wrecker and she said nothing!!

        and then when they arrived at the airport, he was there to pick up his wife and child in a car, while you took a cab home…..BTW, they were still living together!! he straight up walked passed her and got their suitcases!!

        i’ve stopped praying for her and have accepted her stupidity. said thing is, she may say she is “over” him, but the minute he steps back and wants to be “best friends” again, she’ll be there open arm like a dayum fool and i know it.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @jana.love,

      this is one of the few 500 plus word comments ive ever read that was actually worth the 500 words.

      damn

  • jana.love

    whoooooo.

    my cousin, love her to death, is one of the most retarded females i have ever met. chick is BEAUTIFUL, mixed with spanish, chinese, black AND from the caribbean, so she got quadruple exoticbustanutness about her. but man, the shit she’s caught up in right now is just bonkers.

    came to ny in 2001, located 3 guys and a girl she went to school with, started hanging out and having a good time with her homies. met her friend’s grumpy cousin, and “hung out” with him even more. it worked well, everybody chilled, they hooked up, he was from florida, chillin in ny for a bit. cool beans. she likes said grumpy guy and wanted a bit more, but he did have a young child[and a WIFE in FL]. he called her baby mamma and said they were over, but of course my cuz didn’t know they were married [and still together]. but you would think the fact that he did not give you a number and only called you blocked [in the wee hrs of the morning] was a hint. nope. she sucked it all up.

    i’m not gonna lie, dudes are really smart. he never once called her his gf or anything similar to that, he always said they were “friends” and she was the only one that understood him blah blah blah. so when the “wife” umm, calls your phone and cusses you out a few times a yr, that was what you went with. “we’re just friends :)”

    fast foward to 2006 when grumps said he was coming to ny to look for a job and needed a place to stay. oh yeah, you guessed it. she was helping out a “friend” for a few weeks and let him move it for “2 weeks”. dem 2 weeks turned into 1 and a half AND he didn’t pay your rent AND he worked [as an accct] and was never really out a job [he has a degree!]. hmmmmm. and in this time he called you AND your mamma out her name AND said you were worth nothing, but you ain’t kick him out?? oh good god.

    let’s speed it up again. in sept you tell me you’re breaking the lease and moving out, not bothering to sublet and were “positive” that company wasnt gonna sue you for the next 3 months rent. do i look i stick peanut butter in my nose? i ain’t stoopid!! i said, fine, what ever, YOUR LIFE, not mine. of course, she later confessed that she left HIM the apt cuz he wanted his daughter to move to ny [awwwwwwww] to be with him.

    with the WIFE in tow. HA! so you go to YOUR apt where this NINJA is stayin with his WIFE and child and you’re pissed? i’m sorry, why? oh btw, the wife works and he’s agreed to pay the rent while he was there, yet, he’s late with rent 2 months in a row and didn’t even pay the full amount! you pay the rest AND the late fee? hello? two working adults coming up short? don’t make me blow a gasket….

    the finale…
    so she decides she gonna move BACK into the apt when the lease renews in dec (instead of turning it over to him). and she gets some BALLS and goes over there to tell him he needs to move out NOW (aka nov 15thish) and take his shiz with him, because he didn’t even pay the rent, so jus call it even. what does this sucka say?? “i ain’t movin one flying $#*& till dec 15th and if you try to get me out i’ll tear this place apart.”

    her response? “oh ok.”

    :|

    thank god i work and go to school and i’m 3 hrs away. cuz i was damn near ready to put my braids in a scarf, get my sweats on, go whoop some ass, then call the cops and a locksmith. i been in a boxing class recently, i been yearning for a good ol whoopass session.[to test mah skills an ish]

    but i can’t do what someone doesn’t want to do.

  • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

    Oh girl! I can’t believe you did that!

    That’s just some shyt we be sayin’. Nobody really means it.

    I don’t have any stories that aren’t believable, because the next broad done been there and done worse. May not be ready to admit that mess, but the same chick w/the look of shock and amazement on her face is quietly reliving her own extreme ho sh*t as you recount yours.

    The things we all do in an oxytocin-induced craze. *smh*

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @PBG,

      i sure could go for some oxycontin right na….

      *wistful*

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @PBG,

      i sure could go for some oxycontin right na….

      *wistful*

  • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

    Oh girl! I can’t believe you did that!

    That’s just some shyt we be sayin’. Nobody really means it.

    I don’t have any stories that aren’t believable, because the next broad done been there and done worse. May not be ready to admit that mess, but the same chick w/the look of shock and amazement on her face is quietly reliving her own extreme ho sh*t as you recount yours.

    The things we all do in an oxytocin-induced craze. *smh*

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