Lists, Pop Culture

Pierced Ears: Great Terrible Singers And You

Once upon a time in the projects, singers used to be able to sing. Hell, for a whole slew of ugly mofos, singing and musicing was their only way to guarantee the continuation of their family name.

Ike Turner, I’m looking at you. Or at least I would be if you weren’t dead.

Suge’s married nah? You’s dead nah. R.I.P.

So I’ll just look at Al Green, who based on the Soul Train re-runs BET’s Centric is running, looked like a slick talking pimp and was the posterchild for celebrity-based panty procurement. What a voice though.

Ah yes, the voices. So back in the day, ninjas could sing. Nowadays, a certain look and a voice that sounds like a** being sandpapered can get you by. Now it’s not to say that non-singing arse ninjas weren’t cutting records, because they were. The dusty vinyl racks in most thrift stores can attest to that, but it seems like the singing folks were the stars in the 50s through 70s. We’re talking Aretha, Aretha’s areolas, David Ruffin and his drug habit, Al Green, whatever a Vandella is, Marvin don’t call me Pence, Diana, etc. The list goes on.

Nowadays? Well, nowadays we get…

1. Rihanna

If I could ever pick a voice not to have and still claim to be a singer, it would be hers. Lucky for me I don’t sound like a robot that ran away from home who just ate glass on a Tuesday after a hurricane. You know who does though? Rihanna. She’s bad as hell though. Though I kind of guess she’d have to be to come back swinging (no pun intended) from the beat down of the century, cut her hair, and realease an album with less certified hits on it than crackpipe at the Pope’s house and still stand out as a force to be reckoned with.. In case, I’m not clear though, she cannot sing.

2. Ashanti/Ja Rule

I include them as one entity since well, where would he be without her? Exactly where he is now, more absent than Penny’s parents on Good Times. While Ja Rule is technically a rapper, his biggest hits came with him attempting melody. I say attempting because he sounded like Cookie Monster with a recording deal. And while I do like Ashanti and loved a few of her songs, the fact is, nobody would call her and ask her to sing a solo just because. Not in a car, not at a bar. Not on a train, not in Spain. Thing is, what they did worked. Folks LOVED their songs. Great terrible singers.

3. T-Pain

Has anybody actually heard his real singing voice? Let me say this here, I always found it odd that T-Pain would take issue with folks using auto-tune when he basically jacked Teddy Riley’s schtick who jacked Roger Troutman’s schtick. Anyway, despite any discernible actual vocal talent, T-Pain has crafted some of the best damn songs of the past 5-years. “Buy U A Drank” was poetry in motion and let’s not even talk about the grandiose complexity of “Bartender”. Oh I can’t contain myself. Let’s talk about it. “She made us drinks…to drink…we drunk ‘em…got drunk.” Shakespeare was a mere dolt compared to Tedddy Pinnned Her Ass Down.

4. Carl Thomas

Carl Thomas is the posterboy, mascot, and CEO for great terrible singers. He somehow duped an entire legion of diehard fans into thinking that “Summer Rain” was a good song and that it’s okay to be a b*tch a** ninja (“Emotional”). I’ve had full blown arguments with women people trying to convince me that he can sing. He cannot. Stop it. Especially not with all his s-curl juice running down the side of his face during shows because of the heat from the lights; yeah he’s from Chicago.

Controversial pick time:

5) K-Ci/Wanya Morris

I love these guys as much as the next man – I grew up on Jodeci and Boyz II Men. But have you ever seen naturally good singers (like Johnny Gill’s oversinging behind) have to actually shake their heads up and down to get the vibrato effect? That was K-Ci and Wanya’s calling card – head just a bouncing all over the stage like two strippers who spotted a dollar on the ground in a K-Mart parking lot. Just saying, they can sing, but they can’t sing either. It’s a fine line. They were the inspiration for bobbleheads – who sang great bobblehead songs.

6. Ciara

Oh wait, she just sucks all around.

Good folks of the VSB kingdom, its Friday, make it rain on these hoez, who are some other great terrible singers?

Spotlight.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL. HE A 3

Admin Note: Next Tuesday, April 13, 2010, from 530-10pm at Sutra Lounge in Adam’s Morgan, Panama Jackson will be one of several DC-area bloggers hosting a happy hour brought to you by Elevated Entertainment and Usual Suspectz. Come hang out with VSB P the Certified 3 and a slew of other popular DC bloggers like Leon from Listentoleon.net, etc. Admission is free. The address is 2406 18th Street NW. Come one, come all…holla at a playa when you see me in the street trick. Nuts.

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • sexywinergirl

    Rihanna

    i’m cosigning. she is definitely my top pick

    • Leila

      @sexywinergirl, Co-sign! She has a great style, but her voice not so much.

      • themagicman

        @Leila,

        I def co-co-sign on Rihanna’s wackness. However, I take issue with dissing of Carl T. I will be the first to admit that he does resemble Skeletor, but I am still getting residuals from that album. Dude can actually sing pretty well.

        • Yeah…SO!?!

          @themagicman, I concur… Carl is amazing.

        • http://ecstaticfreshness.com AkShone

          @themagicman,

          I too am a Carl Thomas fan. D@mn, P…for real?

          I mean his third album did nothing for me, but Emotional and Let’s Talk About It were really good albums.

          I just think he got the Bad Boy curse and went to the mysterious oblivion that Total, G-Dep, Black Rob (no prison) and nem went.

          They wish.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @themagicman, you all are all kinds of wrong about Carl Thomas’s ability to sing.

          just cuz you loved his album doesn’t mean he can sing. it means you loved his album.

          ying yang twins “the whisper song” is dope as f*ck. doesnt make them good rappers. just like “turn my swag on” was a dope song that everybody loved. nobody is going to confuse young DeAndre Way with being a good rapper.

          while rap and R&B are different, let’s talk Keith Sweat’s WHOLE CAREER. multiplatinum, dope songs and singles. he’s not a good singer.

    • Deeds

      @sexywinergirl, Yea, Rihanna’s singing def. sucks monkey balls.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @sexywinergirl,

      Yeah, I just pretty much think she’s a Nelly Fertado rip-off.

      • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

        @Monk, she’s a Fefe Dobson rip off, IMO– I don’t think she has the “quirk” of Nelly Fertado. she’s just on some faux edginess that while IS FLY–she has a sick body, I’m pretty sure its manufactured since she came out on some Pon De Replay stuff initially…

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young Agent of M.E.

          @Reecie,
          Fefe should go see Rihanna. Excluding Jay-z I find it funny that Nelly Fertado may have more hip hop cred that Rihanna.

      • ElitistXNature

        @Monk,

        Most Def feeling you on the Nelly Furtado rip-off point…. I was out of the country when she really came onto the scene & came back like, SUPER-confused as to what was wrong w/ Nelly’s Umbrella & WHY we would EVER bump it in the club…

        *heavy sigh*

    • Dash

      @sexywinergirl, I just realized a couple days ago that horrible song that triggered a couple of migranes was the “Rude Boy” joint everyone loves.

    • sexywinergirl

      @ All,

      I would like to add that Miley Cyrus chick to the list. She gets these songs with really nice lyrics and murders them with that scratchy irritating mess of a voice. arrgh go away immediately!!

      • http://wheresana.blogspot.com/ Intellectual Hedonist

        @sexywinergirl, when she was on Idol last week I really was wanting to give her a throat lozenge, like really clear your throat chick… she prolly has some thyroid issues.

    • Keisha Brown

      @sexywinergirl,

      *adds name to petition to remove her from the planet.

  • talking silently

    u forgot cassie and her “career”. she had ONE song yet she on every blogspot as though she is still relevant.

    • Made In Hawaii

      @talking silently,

      Cassie

      Yep.
      Pretty, pretty girl but w/o a voice or a lick of talent to save her from becoming Puff’s next baby mama. J-Lo escaped because despite a not too great singing voice, she’s an entertaining actress and was a major fashionista before her twins & Rih Rih came along.

      • Yeah…SO!?!

        @Made In Hawaii, J-Lo definitely belongs on this list.

        • krystal

          @Yeah…SO!?!

          yasss. Three words jenny:

          In. living. color.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @talking silently, that just let’s you know what boning puffy can do for a chick’s career.

      bonin’ ryan leslie didnt do shit for her career except get her a hit song. puffy made her famous for being famous.

      • Keisha Brown

        @Panama Jackson,

        truth.
        that is all.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @talking silently,

      Yeah, when that “live” performance of hers hit the net (what was it 106 & park?) she was done for. She’s the epitome of pretty girl who blows the CEO doesn’t have much talent.

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    Umm. The lead singers from swv and total
    The king of non sangin ninjas. Keith sweat
    Al -b- sure
    The dude that sang splackavelli
    The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
    You know all higj pitched and light skint

    Controversial pick
    Mary j blige…but I still love her

    • bajanflchick

      @shay-d-lady, “The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
      You know all higj pitched and light skint”….hmmm interesting I woulda gone wit Trey non sangin Songs for Panama !

    • legitimate_soul

      @shay-d-lady,

      I was ’bout to say Mary, even though she has songs I love, love, love. Every song ain’t for Mary to sing….especially some of those remakes she has no business doing.

    • DG

      @shay-d-lady,
      “The dude that sang splackavelli”

      Dude’s name was Pressha (and yes, it is spelled just like that…smh)

      BTW, cosign on all your nominations…esp. Keith Sweat, w/ his whinin a$$…

    • YGB

      @shay-d-lady,
      “The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
      You know all higj pitched and light skint”

      This right here made me cackle. I had to delurk coz of this foolishness!

    • http://www.unepetitefillenoire.blogspot.com KayBeezy

      @shay-d-lady
      dang Mary?Mary J?
      j/k. I can see how some might not like her voice, at least her lyrics are real. and she’s not vapid like some of these young broads.

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      @shay-d-lady,

      oh man. this list. is the.ultimate.non-singing-shut-the-eff-up-PLEASE list of singers that we all have jammed to.

      *dead* at how Panama would sound. bwahaha. seems like he’d sound like Lil Bow Wow or some ish to me. lmbo. oh wait. it’s just Bow Wow now.

    • Dee

      @shay-d-lady, At least Total admit they couldn’t sing…..they just said they LIKED to.

    • V Renee

      @shay-d-lady,

      The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
      You know all higj pitched and light skint
      .

      This amused me. Greatly. LOL

    • Yeah…SO!?!

      @shay-d-lady, The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
      You know all higj pitched and light skint

      What? Not with them soup-coolers in that avatar… I see you Mr. Jackson (wink)… the 3 is definitely in the building.

    • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

      @shay-d-lady, MJB all the way. I am with you there. my older sis took me to a MJB/Jodeci show back in the day.

      my ears are still bleeding.

      but why hate on Carl Thomas? and who said MJ? I don’t think so.

    • Plain Ole Peyso

      @shay-d-lady, How you gonna hate on Preshha? Splackavelli was the shiznic and I bet Preshha never even thought he could sing

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @shay-d-lady, i’m mad you thought i’d sound like the-dream. my voice moves mountains. my voice got swag.

      on my momma, on my hood, my voice is sexxy, my voice is damn good.

      and i agree with mary. folks want to pretend she can sing. her and Amerie got kind of a tortured pain voice thing going on that works for them.

      • YGB

        @Panama Jackson,
        “Amerie got kind of a tortured pain voice thing going on”

        If sheet metal could sing, it would sound exactly like Amerie!

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Panama Jackson,

        “and i agree with mary. folks want to pretend she can sing. her and Amerie got kind of a tortured pain voice thing going on that works for them.”

        Yup, Mary J has the tortured pained voice down pact, which is probably why no one is feelin’ the “happy now” Mary J. I mean her singing “just fine…whoo!? (which was my jam actually) sounds kinda weird because she still sounds butthurt.

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young Agent of M.E.

          @Cheekie,
          I heard Mary J sing a couple of Janis Joplin songs a few years back on some tv special and it worked. The pain and angst thing she does may do well on a rock cd.

    • IJstDntUnderstand

      @shay-d-lady, I’m co-signing with you on Keith Sweat…when I think his voice sounds like what my voice sounds like when I hold my nose and try and sing…that is a BIG problem…I get mad just thinking about all the money he made….

      I’m starting a music career..I’m convinced I can at the rate we are going….I will be the best mumbler out! Add some great style, tall heels, and auto tune to that and I’m a #1 hit walking :)

      Just a damn shame!

  • Yonnie3k

    Mary J. Blige. I love her, but she definitely belongs on this list.

    Sometime throughout the day, somebody is gonna say Beyonce. I’m not saying that I’m saying Beyonce, I’m just saying. I’ll be back later to co-sign that person saying Beyonce.

    • bajanflchick

      @Yonnie3k, come on back now I’ll be the first….Beyonce, ok you happy now?

      • Yonnie3k

        @bajanflchick, I’m back! Co-sign.

        She’s gotten waaaaay better over the years. The first song I ever heard her really try to sang [sic] on (I don’t own any Beyonce albums) was Dangerously in Love and I swear till this day my ears bleed a little when I hear it. Several years later, she did Listen for the Dreamgirls soundtrack and I thought she sounded aight.

        • bajanflchick

          @Yonnie3k, I got none of B in my collection either..and just so you know…errybody was just waitin on someone to be the first….good lookin out :-)

    • Mr Dingo, Man

      @Yonnie3k, Im that person that steps forward to say that Beyonce cant sing! Too much yelling and noise if you ask me.

    • YGB

      @Yonnie3k,

      Mary J Blige – definitely agree with this. She is just soooo off-key at times that she sounds like my grandma who cannot sing worth a damn!

      Beyonce on the other hand, Im not sure I agree with. Now, she’s not the best singer out there but she can sing. It’s just the shouting and screaming that takes away the quality from her voice.

    • Deeds

      @Yonnie3k, Yea, I like some of Mary J.’s songs, but she just does not have the range to go all out like she wants to. I think she would be best as a back up singer.

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon`

      @Yonnie3k,
      SHUCKS!! i’ll notarize that Beyonce one..
      AS SOON AS Panama started talkin about “shakin their head to get the vibrato”.. Beyonce is EACTLY who i think of..
      there’s two songs i’ll dance to.. but damn, can she NOT whine on and on at the end of her songs.. YOU KNOW what i’m talkin about..

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Nick_L_Odeon`, you need a hug.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Yonnie3k, the beyonce hatefest started quickly.

      this is gonna be one of the great mysteries along with where exactly is Atlantis, where is waldo, and why come folks actually think beyonce can’t sing?

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Panama Jackson,

        “the beyonce hatefest started quickly.”

        I knew it wouldn’t take too long. lmao I also knew the BS “no one has a valid reason for not loving her and is just a hater” will come eventually too. ;)

        • sanen85

          @Cheekie, one does not work without the other, I guess.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @sanen85,

          “one does not work without the other, I guess.”

          It’s BS because thought she causes such extreme reactions (ie. LOVE/HATE), there are just some of us who are sorta indifferent and meh. I like some of her catchy songs, but don’t think she deserves the diva status she gets with a lot of songs. Her voice is perfect for HER songs (and sometimes not even then…lol), but stop giving her songs beyond her range is what my beef is. lol

  • Danni

    Ya’ll are tripping, man. Rihanna can sing to me. I mean I truly love her voice. Yes, I said it! And I’m not joking, either! *not so patiently waiting for stones to be thrown*

    • Kirk Lazarus

      @Danni,

      Ya’ll are tripping, man. Rihanna can sing to me. I mean I truly love her voice. Yes, I said it! And I’m not joking, either! *not so patiently waiting for stones to be thrown*

      And were you drunk and operating heavy machinery while listening to her voice? Because saying she has a good voice while drinking and driving is a double felony in 27 states!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Kirk Lazarus, right. her voice needs jesus. in fact, i wish she’d start smoking 6 packs of menthols a day just to give her voice some character.

    • IJstDntUnderstand

      @Danni, I LOVE me some Rihanna but I won’t go as far as saying she can sing..I’ve her a few acapella performances…let’s just say it wasn’t good..it wasn’t even almost good…I’m just gonna say it …it was just bad!

      But I love her attitude and what she sings about she entertains me in that sense…but yeah I’m not sure she is a fantastic singer per say.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Danni,

      What you like about her voice? I am so sincere. I am intrigued.

  • MJoi

    I totally <3 this blog! You guys make me laugh out loud literally every single time. Now you've given me another reason to move to the East Coast: happy hour with my favorite bloggers. Kudos!

    Good list for sure. Rihanna holds that #1 spot down. Ciara gives her a run for it, though. May I suggest: singers who used to be able to sing but now sound like drowning cats? I would name names but some of yall will get mad (*achoo* Mary J, Whitney, Mariah *cough*).

    • MJoi

      @talking silently,

      I started to say Cassie, but then realized that one hit does not a great singer make.

      @shay-d-lady,

      Co-sign on The Dream! How could we forget about his falsetto wackness/greatness?

      • thatchic

        @MJoi, and i still say he reminds me of the hamburgler.

        • V Renee

          @thatchic,

          Okay I just had to google a pic of the hamburglar. You, my dear, are absolutely correct. Bwhahahaha!

        • Hershey’s Kiss

          @thatchic, LMAO! Now that you mention it, he does!

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @thatchic,

          I will always remember VSB fam, me fail english? (where are you e-sis?!) when she said he looked like a Teddy Graham. Made me laugh in falsetto it was so hilarious.

        • V Renee

          @Cheekie,

          Yeah where is Me Fail English?? She was hilarious.

        • thatchick

          @thatchic, it’s those little hands…creeps me out…like the guy on the burger king commercial.

          Teddy Graham?! now that’s funny and shyt!

    • Made In Hawaii

      @MJoi,
      “May I suggest: singers who used to be able to sing but now sound like drowning cats? I would name names but some of yall will get mad (*achoo* Mary J, Whitney, Mariah *cough*).”

      I’m going to have to co-sign this.

    • Deeds

      @MJoi, I agree with Whitney. Which is really sad to me cuz I was the biggest Whitney fan back in the day. She really f’ed herself up, destroying all that natural talent. Oh wells.

    • Dee

      @MJoi, Mary was like a bell curve. she came out sounding iffy, hit her zenith, and is now on the way back down.

      • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

        @Dee, “Mary was like a bell curve. she came out sounding iffy, hit her zenith, and is now on the way back down.”

        exactly this! and I still own every single CD. I’m a lifelong fan–its the emotion for me more than the vocals, I can admit that.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Dee, yeah i agree. like mary ain’t never not had the bestest voice. she was just good at what she does. yelling at you that she needs help.

        • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

          @Panama Jackson, lmao @ “yelling at you that she needs help”

          in my mind I heard MJB and Wyclef as I read this! “someone please call 911…”
          that was the jam, with the worst vocals! LOLOLOL

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      @MJoi,

      oh man. i learned how to hit extremely high notes sanging along to whitney and mariah back in the day.

      it really hurts my heart to watch either of them perform live, especially since mariah still shops at Rainbow, Rave, and Forever21. just heartbreaking. (no jay-z/mariah combo)

      i always have to turn the channel to stop the tears.

      • bajanflchick

        @Muze, “especially since mariah still shops at Rainbow, Rave, and Forever21″……DEAD

        • Hershey’s Kiss

          @bajanflchick, my plot is right next to yours!

    • Keisha Brown

      @MJoi,

      i miss when mariah used to ACTUALLY sing. like SANG. now? it’s this halftalking, halfmelodic crap with her titties staring me in my eye.

      i blame crack for whitney’s demise. crack is wack.

      • miss t-lee

        @Keisha Brown,
        All Mariah does now is whisper and breathe heavy on a track.
        Nick…come get yo’ girl…lol

        • thatchic

          @miss t-lee, while mariah’s on stage nick is taking a nap from having to hold her up on the red carpet.

    • http://wheresana.blogspot.com/ Intellectual Hedonist

      @MJoi, you know Mariah was at the top of my list of people who could sing. And I have said it before on this blog. When Mariah started sanging with her Va jay jay is when she went down hill (thank you Tommy Mottola) She aint been right since her 2nd album.

      • V Renee

        @Intellectual Hedonist,

        When Mariah started sanging with her Va jay jay is when she went down hill .

        What in the hot hell?!?!? You know what, nevermind. LOL

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @MJoi,

      “I would name names but some of yall will get mad (*achoo* Mary J, Whitney, Mariah *cough*).”

      Mariah in particular I am mad at her. WHY does she thing that cutesy baby breathy voice is what’s hot? Jessica Simpson does that same thing and I HATE it. WTF do you think that sounds chexy? No, it just sounds like you’re tired and need oxygen during a prono.

  • http://mcxvii.blogspot.com/ our lady wisdom.

    J.Lo…Yeah.
    and any Jackson thats not Michael.

    And co-sign with Cassie. Cause all that she did was just awful.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @our lady wisdom., i appreciated her nude pics.

      welcome and sh*t, btw (i think)

    • blackroot

      @our lady wisdom., def agree. i always thought janet couldn’t sing. loved her 80s videos, loved her stepping into sexy on janet., but her actual singing makes my ears twitch.

  • miss t-lee

    Now I wanna hear that Jim Crow song PJack…lol My pick is definitely Keith Sweat, he’s a whiner, not a singer. I can’t explain Rhianna either, she’s clearly pulled a Robert Johnson…lmao. *you leave Carl alone, that first album is still my junk! :-)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @miss t-lee, you can like his first album if you want. i like it. doesnt mean he can sing.

      and keith sweat is definitely a mt. rushmore non-singing cat.

  • Candice

    Carl Thomas can sing. It sound like somebody hating. Monica, Letoya Luckett and Mary j Blige cannot sing. Especially Mary J Blige, all the hollering and gangsta walking.

    • legitimate_soul

      @Candice,

      I beg to differ on Monica. She can sang.

      • DG

        @legitimate_soul,
        I agree…Monica does have some pipes on her…

      • YGB

        @legitimate_soul,

        She definitely can sing. Too bad most of her songs lately are hot sh1t pies!!

        • Yeah…SO!?!

          @YGB, seriously… what a waste, especially with Rihanna running amok all over the damn radio- smh

        • YGB

          @Yeah…SO!?!,

          Ya know???? She had the nerve to release “Sideline Ho”. I still haven’t forgiven her for that isht.

        • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

          @YGB, yes but check out her new CD! its pretty good. shameless plug but I reviewed it on my blog :-) and yeah Sideline Ho was pretty tragic, lol.

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @legitimate_soul,

        Co-sign. When “The Boy is Mine” came out and girls were role-playin the video, I always wanted to be Monica because she had the better voice. She can blow.

    • Officer Ricky

      @Candice,

      LMFAO!!!!! You got me DYING over here. I definitely know what you getting at with the “hollering n gangsta walkn” all on stage. That’s when she gets her “No More Drama” on. Damn, I’ve not laughed all week like this.

      But you are definitely gettin’ your playa hating on by throwing her under the bus. Monica n Mary got pipes for days.

    • thatchic

      @Candice,

      i’m sorry. monica can sing…rocko is just stressing her out. seriously what does dude do? panama i thing you should do a blog on people with “tommy” jobs.

    • V Renee

      @Candice,

      Especially Mary J Blige, all the hollering and gangsta walking. .

      She sho can gangsta walk with the best of them. Don’t let that one arm get to swangin…..I almost hold my breath waiting on her to grab her “balls”. I still ? her though. Lol

      • CNotes

        @V Renee,

        The gangsta walk is classic for MJB. Proof you can’t take the hood out of anyone (see also Houston, Whitney).

      • Keisha Brown

        @V Renee,

        She sho can gangsta walk with the best of them. Don’t let that one arm get to swangin…..I almost hold my breath waiting on her to grab her “balls”. I still ? her though. Lol

        LMAOOOO!!
        (and co-signs)

        • http://wheresana.blogspot.com/ Intellectual Hedonist

          @Keisha Brown, I think I have seen her grab the inside seam of her pants (though she had on a dress)

    • La Bakir

      @Candice, I beg to differ with all the other bloggers who are differing…Monica can sang! Just heard her LIVE on Steve Harvey and her voice was flawless,

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Candice, so let me get this right.

      Monica cannot sing. But Carl Thomas can? Is today opposites day?

      put the pipe down.

  • our lady wisdom.

    Since Mary J. is popping up…I’ll say Keyshia Cole as well.

    • Helagramki

      @our lady wisdom.,

      Beat me to it. I hereby co-sign this and all subsequent mentions of Keyshia.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @our lady wisdom., i actually like keyshia cole’s sanging voice…at times. she definitely knows how to do major damage to a song when she wants to. Love is a perfect example of “notes gone wrong”

      • I was wondering…

        @Panama Jackson,

        I think Keisha (keishia, keyshia?) falls into the pain-filled voice that was mentioned earlier. You can hear her heartbreak and it makes you feel her songs…but she can’t sing.

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @our lady wisdom.,

      I’m split on Keyshia Cole. When she came out with “Love” I couldn’t with her. “Luhhhhhhhhve”. WTF, are you constipated? She was reaching and didn’t grab it. But, I’ve heard some decent cuts of hers and her voice is okay actually.

      • Yonnie3k

        @Cheekie, YES!! I turned the station every. single. time the song got to that first long drawn out luuuuuuuuvvvvvvveee. Next. I’m sure there’s another song of hers that I like, I just can’t think of one right now.