Once upon a time in the projects, singers used to be able to sing. Hell, for a whole slew of ugly mofos, singing and musicing was their only way to guarantee the continuation of their family name.
Ike Turner, I’m looking at you. Or at least I would be if you weren’t dead.
Suge’s married nah? You’s dead nah. R.I.P.
So I’ll just look at Al Green, who based on the Soul Train re-runs BET’s Centric is running, looked like a slick talking pimp and was the posterchild for celebrity-based panty procurement. What a voice though.
Ah yes, the voices. So back in the day, ninjas could sing. Nowadays, a certain look and a voice that sounds like a** being sandpapered can get you by. Now it’s not to say that non-singing arse ninjas weren’t cutting records, because they were. The dusty vinyl racks in most thrift stores can attest to that, but it seems like the singing folks were the stars in the 50s through 70s. We’re talking Aretha, Aretha’s areolas, David Ruffin and his drug habit, Al Green, whatever a Vandella is, Marvin don’t call me Pence, Diana, etc. The list goes on.
Nowadays? Well, nowadays we get…
1. Rihanna
If I could ever pick a voice not to have and still claim to be a singer, it would be hers. Lucky for me I don’t sound like a robot that ran away from home who just ate glass on a Tuesday after a hurricane. You know who does though? Rihanna. She’s bad as hell though. Though I kind of guess she’d have to be to come back swinging (no pun intended) from the beat down of the century, cut her hair, and realease an album with less certified hits on it than crackpipe at the Pope’s house and still stand out as a force to be reckoned with.. In case, I’m not clear though, she cannot sing.
2. Ashanti/Ja Rule
I include them as one entity since well, where would he be without her? Exactly where he is now, more absent than Penny’s parents on Good Times. While Ja Rule is technically a rapper, his biggest hits came with him attempting melody. I say attempting because he sounded like Cookie Monster with a recording deal. And while I do like Ashanti and loved a few of her songs, the fact is, nobody would call her and ask her to sing a solo just because. Not in a car, not at a bar. Not on a train, not in Spain. Thing is, what they did worked. Folks LOVED their songs. Great terrible singers.
3. T-Pain
Has anybody actually heard his real singing voice? Let me say this here, I always found it odd that T-Pain would take issue with folks using auto-tune when he basically jacked Teddy Riley’s schtick who jacked Roger Troutman’s schtick. Anyway, despite any discernible actual vocal talent, T-Pain has crafted some of the best damn songs of the past 5-years. “Buy U A Drank” was poetry in motion and let’s not even talk about the grandiose complexity of “Bartender”. Oh I can’t contain myself. Let’s talk about it. “She made us drinks…to drink…we drunk ‘em…got drunk.” Shakespeare was a mere dolt compared to Tedddy Pinnned Her Ass Down.
4. Carl Thomas
Carl Thomas is the posterboy, mascot, and CEO for great terrible singers. He somehow duped an entire legion of diehard fans into thinking that “Summer Rain” was a good song and that it’s okay to be a b*tch a** ninja (“Emotional”). I’ve had full blown arguments with women people trying to convince me that he can sing. He cannot. Stop it. Especially not with all his s-curl juice running down the side of his face during shows because of the heat from the lights; yeah he’s from Chicago.
Controversial pick time:
5) K-Ci/Wanya Morris
I love these guys as much as the next man – I grew up on Jodeci and Boyz II Men. But have you ever seen naturally good singers (like Johnny Gill’s oversinging behind) have to actually shake their heads up and down to get the vibrato effect? That was K-Ci and Wanya’s calling card – head just a bouncing all over the stage like two strippers who spotted a dollar on the ground in a K-Mart parking lot. Just saying, they can sing, but they can’t sing either. It’s a fine line. They were the inspiration for bobbleheads – who sang great bobblehead songs.
6. Ciara
Oh wait, she just sucks all around.
Good folks of the VSB kingdom, its Friday, make it rain on these hoez, who are some other great terrible singers?
Spotlight.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL. HE A 3
Admin Note: Next Tuesday, April 13, 2010, from 530-10pm at Sutra Lounge in Adam’s Morgan, Panama Jackson will be one of several DC-area bloggers hosting a happy hour brought to you by Elevated Entertainment and Usual Suspectz. Come hang out with VSB P the Certified 3 and a slew of other popular DC bloggers like Leon from Listentoleon.net, etc. Admission is free. The address is 2406 18th Street NW. Come one, come all…holla at a playa when you see me in the street trick. Nuts.
Rihanna
i’m cosigning. she is definitely my top pick
@sexywinergirl, Co-sign! She has a great style, but her voice not so much.
@Leila,
I def co-co-sign on Rihanna’s wackness. However, I take issue with dissing of Carl T. I will be the first to admit that he does resemble Skeletor, but I am still getting residuals from that album. Dude can actually sing pretty well.
@themagicman, I concur… Carl is amazing.
@themagicman,
I too am a Carl Thomas fan. D@mn, P…for real?
I mean his third album did nothing for me, but Emotional and Let’s Talk About It were really good albums.
I just think he got the Bad Boy curse and went to the mysterious oblivion that Total, G-Dep, Black Rob (no prison) and nem went.
They wish.
@themagicman, you all are all kinds of wrong about Carl Thomas’s ability to sing.
just cuz you loved his album doesn’t mean he can sing. it means you loved his album.
ying yang twins “the whisper song” is dope as f*ck. doesnt make them good rappers. just like “turn my swag on” was a dope song that everybody loved. nobody is going to confuse young DeAndre Way with being a good rapper.
while rap and R&B are different, let’s talk Keith Sweat’s WHOLE CAREER. multiplatinum, dope songs and singles. he’s not a good singer.
@sexywinergirl, Yea, Rihanna’s singing def. sucks monkey balls.
@sexywinergirl,
Yeah, I just pretty much think she’s a Nelly Fertado rip-off.
@Monk, she’s a Fefe Dobson rip off, IMO– I don’t think she has the “quirk” of Nelly Fertado. she’s just on some faux edginess that while IS FLY–she has a sick body, I’m pretty sure its manufactured since she came out on some Pon De Replay stuff initially…
@Reecie,
Fefe should go see Rihanna. Excluding Jay-z I find it funny that Nelly Fertado may have more hip hop cred that Rihanna.
@Monk,
Most Def feeling you on the Nelly Furtado rip-off point…. I was out of the country when she really came onto the scene & came back like, SUPER-confused as to what was wrong w/ Nelly’s Umbrella & WHY we would EVER bump it in the club…
*heavy sigh*
@sexywinergirl, I just realized a couple days ago that horrible song that triggered a couple of migranes was the “Rude Boy” joint everyone loves.
@ All,
I would like to add that Miley Cyrus chick to the list. She gets these songs with really nice lyrics and murders them with that scratchy irritating mess of a voice. arrgh go away immediately!!
@sexywinergirl, when she was on Idol last week I really was wanting to give her a throat lozenge, like really clear your throat chick… she prolly has some thyroid issues.
@sexywinergirl,
*adds name to petition to remove her from the planet.
u forgot cassie and her “career”. she had ONE song yet she on every blogspot as though she is still relevant.
@talking silently,
Cassie
Yep.
Pretty, pretty girl but w/o a voice or a lick of talent to save her from becoming Puff’s next baby mama. J-Lo escaped because despite a not too great singing voice, she’s an entertaining actress and was a major fashionista before her twins & Rih Rih came along.
@Made In Hawaii, J-Lo definitely belongs on this list.
@Yeah…SO!?!
yasss. Three words jenny:
In. living. color.
@talking silently, that just let’s you know what boning puffy can do for a chick’s career.
bonin’ ryan leslie didnt do shit for her career except get her a hit song. puffy made her famous for being famous.
@Panama Jackson,
truth.
that is all.
@talking silently,
Yeah, when that “live” performance of hers hit the net (what was it 106 & park?) she was done for. She’s the epitome of pretty girl who
blows the CEOdoesn’t have much talent.Umm. The lead singers from swv and total
The king of non sangin ninjas. Keith sweat
Al -b- sure
The dude that sang splackavelli
The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
You know all higj pitched and light skint
Controversial pick
Mary j blige…but I still love her
@shay-d-lady, “The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
You know all higj pitched and light skint”….hmmm interesting I woulda gone wit Trey non sangin Songs for Panama !
@shay-d-lady,
I was ’bout to say Mary, even though she has songs I love, love, love. Every song ain’t for Mary to sing….especially some of those remakes she has no business doing.
@shay-d-lady,
“The dude that sang splackavelli”
Dude’s name was Pressha (and yes, it is spelled just like that…smh)
BTW, cosign on all your nominations…esp. Keith Sweat, w/ his whinin a$$…
@shay-d-lady,
“The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
You know all higj pitched and light skint”
This right here made me cackle. I had to delurk coz of this foolishness!
@shay-d-lady
dang Mary?Mary J?
j/k. I can see how some might not like her voice, at least her lyrics are real. and she’s not vapid like some of these young broads.
@shay-d-lady,
oh man. this list. is the.ultimate.non-singing-shut-the-eff-up-PLEASE list of singers that we all have jammed to.
*dead* at how Panama would sound. bwahaha. seems like he’d sound like Lil Bow Wow or some ish to me. lmbo. oh wait. it’s just Bow Wow now.
@shay-d-lady, At least Total admit they couldn’t sing…..they just said they LIKED to.
@shay-d-lady,
The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
You know all higj pitched and light skint .
This amused me. Greatly. LOL
@shay-d-lady, The dream whose singin voice is what I thought panama would sound like
You know all higj pitched and light skint
What? Not with them soup-coolers in that avatar… I see you Mr. Jackson (wink)… the 3 is definitely in the building.
@shay-d-lady, MJB all the way. I am with you there. my older sis took me to a MJB/Jodeci show back in the day.
my ears are still bleeding.
but why hate on Carl Thomas? and who said MJ? I don’t think so.
@shay-d-lady, How you gonna hate on Preshha? Splackavelli was the shiznic and I bet Preshha never even thought he could sing
@shay-d-lady, i’m mad you thought i’d sound like the-dream. my voice moves mountains. my voice got swag.
on my momma, on my hood, my voice is sexxy, my voice is damn good.
and i agree with mary. folks want to pretend she can sing. her and Amerie got kind of a tortured pain voice thing going on that works for them.
@Panama Jackson,
“Amerie got kind of a tortured pain voice thing going on”
If sheet metal could sing, it would sound exactly like Amerie!
@Panama Jackson,
“and i agree with mary. folks want to pretend she can sing. her and Amerie got kind of a tortured pain voice thing going on that works for them.”
Yup, Mary J has the tortured pained voice down pact, which is probably why no one is feelin’ the “happy now” Mary J. I mean her singing “just fine…whoo!? (which was my jam actually) sounds kinda weird because she still sounds butthurt.
@Cheekie,
I heard Mary J sing a couple of Janis Joplin songs a few years back on some tv special and it worked. The pain and angst thing she does may do well on a rock cd.
@shay-d-lady, I’m co-signing with you on Keith Sweat…when I think his voice sounds like what my voice sounds like when I hold my nose and try and sing…that is a BIG problem…I get mad just thinking about all the money he made….
I’m starting a music career..I’m convinced I can at the rate we are going….I will be the best mumbler out! Add some great style, tall heels, and auto tune to that and I’m a #1 hit walking
Just a damn shame!
Mary J. Blige. I love her, but she definitely belongs on this list.
Sometime throughout the day, somebody is gonna say Beyonce. I’m not saying that I’m saying Beyonce, I’m just saying. I’ll be back later to co-sign that person saying Beyonce.
@Yonnie3k, come on back now I’ll be the first….Beyonce, ok you happy now?
@bajanflchick, I’m back! Co-sign.
She’s gotten waaaaay better over the years. The first song I ever heard her really try to sang [sic] on (I don’t own any Beyonce albums) was Dangerously in Love and I swear till this day my ears bleed a little when I hear it. Several years later, she did Listen for the Dreamgirls soundtrack and I thought she sounded aight.
@Yonnie3k, I got none of B in my collection either..and just so you know…errybody was just waitin on someone to be the first….good lookin out
@Yonnie3k, Im that person that steps forward to say that Beyonce cant sing! Too much yelling and noise if you ask me.
@Yonnie3k,
Mary J Blige – definitely agree with this. She is just soooo off-key at times that she sounds like my grandma who cannot sing worth a damn!
Beyonce on the other hand, Im not sure I agree with. Now, she’s not the best singer out there but she can sing. It’s just the shouting and screaming that takes away the quality from her voice.
@Yonnie3k, Yea, I like some of Mary J.’s songs, but she just does not have the range to go all out like she wants to. I think she would be best as a back up singer.
@Yonnie3k,
SHUCKS!! i’ll notarize that Beyonce one..
AS SOON AS Panama started talkin about “shakin their head to get the vibrato”.. Beyonce is EACTLY who i think of..
there’s two songs i’ll dance to.. but damn, can she NOT whine on and on at the end of her songs.. YOU KNOW what i’m talkin about..
@Nick_L_Odeon`, you need a hug.
@Yonnie3k, the beyonce hatefest started quickly.
this is gonna be one of the great mysteries along with where exactly is Atlantis, where is waldo, and why come folks actually think beyonce can’t sing?
@Panama Jackson,
“the beyonce hatefest started quickly.”
I knew it wouldn’t take too long. lmao I also knew the BS “no one has a valid reason for not loving her and is just a hater” will come eventually too.
@Cheekie, one does not work without the other, I guess.
@sanen85,
“one does not work without the other, I guess.”
It’s BS because thought she causes such extreme reactions (ie. LOVE/HATE), there are just some of us who are sorta indifferent and meh. I like some of her catchy songs, but don’t think she deserves the diva status she gets with a lot of songs. Her voice is perfect for HER songs (and sometimes not even then…lol), but stop giving her songs beyond her range is what my beef is. lol
Ya’ll are tripping, man. Rihanna can sing to me. I mean I truly love her voice. Yes, I said it! And I’m not joking, either! *not so patiently waiting for stones to be thrown*
@Danni,
Ya’ll are tripping, man. Rihanna can sing to me. I mean I truly love her voice. Yes, I said it! And I’m not joking, either! *not so patiently waiting for stones to be thrown*
And were you drunk and operating heavy machinery while listening to her voice? Because saying she has a good voice while drinking and driving is a double felony in 27 states!
@Kirk Lazarus, right. her voice needs jesus. in fact, i wish she’d start smoking 6 packs of menthols a day just to give her voice some character.
@Danni, I LOVE me some Rihanna but I won’t go as far as saying she can sing..I’ve her a few acapella performances…let’s just say it wasn’t good..it wasn’t even almost good…I’m just gonna say it …it was just bad!
But I love her attitude and what she sings about she entertains me in that sense…but yeah I’m not sure she is a fantastic singer per say.
@Danni,
What you like about her voice? I am so sincere. I am intrigued.
I totally <3 this blog! You guys make me laugh out loud literally every single time. Now you've given me another reason to move to the East Coast: happy hour with my favorite bloggers. Kudos!
Good list for sure. Rihanna holds that #1 spot down. Ciara gives her a run for it, though. May I suggest: singers who used to be able to sing but now sound like drowning cats? I would name names but some of yall will get mad (*achoo* Mary J, Whitney, Mariah *cough*).
@talking silently,
I started to say Cassie, but then realized that one hit does not a great singer make.
@shay-d-lady,
Co-sign on The Dream! How could we forget about his falsetto wackness/greatness?
@MJoi, and i still say he reminds me of the hamburgler.
@thatchic,
Okay I just had to google a pic of the hamburglar. You, my dear, are absolutely correct. Bwhahahaha!
@thatchic, LMAO! Now that you mention it, he does!
@thatchic,
I will always remember VSB fam, me fail english? (where are you e-sis?!) when she said he looked like a Teddy Graham. Made me laugh in falsetto it was so hilarious.
@Cheekie,
Yeah where is Me Fail English?? She was hilarious.
@thatchic, it’s those little hands…creeps me out…like the guy on the burger king commercial.
Teddy Graham?! now that’s funny and shyt!
@MJoi,
“May I suggest: singers who used to be able to sing but now sound like drowning cats? I would name names but some of yall will get mad (*achoo* Mary J, Whitney, Mariah *cough*).”
I’m going to have to co-sign this.
@MJoi, I agree with Whitney. Which is really sad to me cuz I was the biggest Whitney fan back in the day. She really f’ed herself up, destroying all that natural talent. Oh wells.
@MJoi, Mary was like a bell curve. she came out sounding iffy, hit her zenith, and is now on the way back down.
@Dee, “Mary was like a bell curve. she came out sounding iffy, hit her zenith, and is now on the way back down.”
exactly this! and I still own every single CD. I’m a lifelong fan–its the emotion for me more than the vocals, I can admit that.
@Dee, yeah i agree. like mary ain’t never not had the bestest voice. she was just good at what she does. yelling at you that she needs help.
@Panama Jackson, lmao @ “yelling at you that she needs help”
in my mind I heard MJB and Wyclef as I read this! “someone please call 911…”
that was the jam, with the worst vocals! LOLOLOL
@MJoi,
oh man. i learned how to hit extremely high notes sanging along to whitney and mariah back in the day.
it really hurts my heart to watch either of them perform live, especially since mariah still shops at Rainbow, Rave, and Forever21. just heartbreaking. (no jay-z/mariah combo)
i always have to turn the channel to stop the tears.
@Muze, “especially since mariah still shops at Rainbow, Rave, and Forever21″……DEAD
@bajanflchick, my plot is right next to yours!
@MJoi,
i miss when mariah used to ACTUALLY sing. like SANG. now? it’s this halftalking, halfmelodic crap with her titties staring me in my eye.
i blame crack for whitney’s demise. crack is wack.
@Keisha Brown,
All Mariah does now is whisper and breathe heavy on a track.
Nick…come get yo’ girl…lol
@miss t-lee, while mariah’s on stage nick is taking a nap from having to hold her up on the red carpet.
@MJoi, you know Mariah was at the top of my list of people who could sing. And I have said it before on this blog. When Mariah started sanging with her Va jay jay is when she went down hill (thank you Tommy Mottola) She aint been right since her 2nd album.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
When Mariah started sanging with her Va jay jay is when she went down hill .
What in the hot hell?!?!? You know what, nevermind. LOL
@MJoi,
“I would name names but some of yall will get mad (*achoo* Mary J, Whitney, Mariah *cough*).”
Mariah in particular I am mad at her. WHY does she thing that cutesy baby breathy voice is what’s hot? Jessica Simpson does that same thing and I HATE it. WTF do you think that sounds chexy? No, it just sounds like you’re tired and need oxygen during a prono.
J.Lo…Yeah.
and any Jackson thats not Michael.
And co-sign with Cassie. Cause all that she did was just awful.
@our lady wisdom., i appreciated her nude pics.
welcome and sh*t, btw (i think)
@our lady wisdom., def agree. i always thought janet couldn’t sing. loved her 80s videos, loved her stepping into sexy on janet., but her actual singing makes my ears twitch.
Now I wanna hear that Jim Crow song PJack…lol My pick is definitely Keith Sweat, he’s a whiner, not a singer. I can’t explain Rhianna either, she’s clearly pulled a Robert Johnson…lmao. *you leave Carl alone, that first album is still my junk!
@miss t-lee, you can like his first album if you want. i like it. doesnt mean he can sing.
and keith sweat is definitely a mt. rushmore non-singing cat.
Carl Thomas can sing. It sound like somebody hating. Monica, Letoya Luckett and Mary j Blige cannot sing. Especially Mary J Blige, all the hollering and gangsta walking.
@Candice,
I beg to differ on Monica. She can sang.
@legitimate_soul,
I agree…Monica does have some pipes on her…
@legitimate_soul,
She definitely can sing. Too bad most of her songs lately are hot sh1t pies!!
@YGB, seriously… what a waste, especially with Rihanna running amok all over the damn radio- smh
@Yeah…SO!?!,
Ya know???? She had the nerve to release “Sideline Ho”. I still haven’t forgiven her for that isht.
@YGB, yes but check out her new CD! its pretty good. shameless plug but I reviewed it on my blog
and yeah Sideline Ho was pretty tragic, lol.
@legitimate_soul,
Co-sign. When “The Boy is Mine” came out and girls were role-playin the video, I always wanted to be Monica because she had the better voice. She can blow.
@Candice,
LMFAO!!!!! You got me DYING over here. I definitely know what you getting at with the “hollering n gangsta walkn” all on stage. That’s when she gets her “No More Drama” on. Damn, I’ve not laughed all week like this.
But you are definitely gettin’ your playa hating on by throwing her under the bus. Monica n Mary got pipes for days.
@Candice,
i’m sorry. monica can sing…rocko is just stressing her out. seriously what does dude do? panama i thing you should do a blog on people with “tommy” jobs.
@Candice,
Especially Mary J Blige, all the hollering and gangsta walking. .
She sho can gangsta walk with the best of them. Don’t let that one arm get to swangin…..I almost hold my breath waiting on her to grab her “balls”. I still ? her though. Lol
@V Renee,
The gangsta walk is classic for MJB. Proof you can’t take the hood out of anyone (see also Houston, Whitney).
@V Renee,
She sho can gangsta walk with the best of them. Don’t let that one arm get to swangin…..I almost hold my breath waiting on her to grab her “balls”. I still ? her though. Lol
LMAOOOO!!
(and co-signs)
@Keisha Brown, I think I have seen her grab the inside seam of her pants (though she had on a dress)
@Candice, I beg to differ with all the other bloggers who are differing…Monica can sang! Just heard her LIVE on Steve Harvey and her voice was flawless,
@Candice, so let me get this right.
Monica cannot sing. But Carl Thomas can? Is today opposites day?
put the pipe down.
Since Mary J. is popping up…I’ll say Keyshia Cole as well.
@our lady wisdom.,
Beat me to it. I hereby co-sign this and all subsequent mentions of Keyshia.
@our lady wisdom., i actually like keyshia cole’s sanging voice…at times. she definitely knows how to do major damage to a song when she wants to. Love is a perfect example of “notes gone wrong”
@Panama Jackson,
I think Keisha (keishia, keyshia?) falls into the pain-filled voice that was mentioned earlier. You can hear her heartbreak and it makes you feel her songs…but she can’t sing.
@our lady wisdom.,
I’m split on Keyshia Cole. When she came out with “Love” I couldn’t with her. “Luhhhhhhhhve”. WTF, are you constipated? She was reaching and didn’t grab it. But, I’ve heard some decent cuts of hers and her voice is okay actually.
@Cheekie, YES!! I turned the station every. single. time the song got to that first long drawn out luuuuuuuuvvvvvvveee. Next. I’m sure there’s another song of hers that I like, I just can’t think of one right now.
cosigning Panama’s list and respectfully add any male/female individual/group that diddy has backed..since Biggie…RIP, oh yeah & Keyshia Cole too
@bajanflchick,
I did like Total’s “Kissing You” though….LOL
@legitimate_soul, Total was the epitome of a non-singing group. there are stories about how long they’d be in the studio trying to get things right.
@Panama Jackson,
True. They were awful on Showtime at the Apollo and Puffy even said “Help them sing” during their performance.
Danity kane (with the exception of dawn at times) was horrible. Day 26 was actually good, especially Robert, Brian, and Mike.
Youtube Robert or Mike singing “I won’t complain” (they took it to church!) and youtube
Brian singing Joe’s “all the things”. all I can say is wow!!
Why was Rihanna & The-Dream the first two people I thought of when this list was created? & Al B. Sure! was the most whisperin’-est ass ninja who ever got a hit.
Anyway, I’ve heard T-Pain sing on an album without using the autotune. You might have to go back to his first album “Rappa Ternt Sanga” but yeah, “My Place” has no autotune Pain on it. Then again, Rockwell couldn’t sing. Nor could Oran “Juice” Jones. Plus, any female rapper that tries to do both and be like Lauryn Hill.
I got more but I’ll wait til the sun wakes up and kicks the moon’s ass yet again.
@Brando, “Oran “Juice” Jones.”-couldn’t sing worth a quarter BUT best ever stalker song ….classic “I missed you so much I followed you today”..this line is still the quintessential bestest..IMO
@bajanflchick,
“….classic “I missed you so much I followed you today”..this line is still the quintessential bestest..IMO”
Idk. I think when he said “This is my world.
you’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut” or “I was about to pull out the jammy and flat blast both of you but I didn’t wanna mess up this $3700 lynx coat so instead I chilled” was the best.
@Humble_One,
*dead*
or on the video when he does that Thriller-like head snap when he says “and him!” lmbo. my brother and i used to DIE watching that video. man.
“You gotta get on outta here with that alley-cat-coat-wearing, punch-bucket-shoe wearing crumbcake I saw you with. Cause you dismissed!”
bwahaha. *off to download*
@Humble_One,
I was about to pull out the jammy and flat blast both of you but I didn’t wanna mess up this $3700 lynx coat so instead I chilled .
When Mike Epps did this skit on T.I’s The King iDied. Matter of fact let me go ahead and google the “lyrics” and post em. Lol
mike epps:yea i followed u today u was comin out of the chicken place. u just got u a 6 piece wing with a green bean and a yam bych i had seen what u had ordered.
female:nigga u aint seen shyt
mike epps:u had a ol monkey azz ninja with u.
female:u the only monkey azz ninja i know.
mike epps:this ninja had baby powder all over his chest with a whole bunch of kinked up necklaces ‘n’ shyt. wit i love u mom and dad and fake oozies and shyt.
female:u talkin bout yoself ol extra regular azz ninja.
mike epps:now my first reaction was to run up on u and just grab the back of ya pants and give u a weggie just put the thong all up in ya azz.
female:dont touch nobody.
mike epps:i said naw
female:dont touch me.
mike epps: bytch i said naw.
female:i dont wanna be dealin with yo azz u need to stop talkin to me crazy fagit.
mike epps:then u had the nerve u had the nerve to got cut yo hair low like a ninja. BYTCH yo head look like a dirty tennis ball mat.
female:do u talk to yo mamma like this thats y she dont like yo azz.
mike epps:u the only bytch i know till this day to take a good pair of dirty pants out the clothes hamper and iron them till the look like blue leather pants. ninja just iron chicken stains and jelly stains all in the azz of the pants.
female:u wanna talk about somebody jeans but ninjaa u cant spray calone over dirty azz clothes okay u better watch yo back ninja ima have touched.
mike epps:talkin bout u gon have me killed bytch how u gon have me killed with 439 dollars a month. .
@VSB
Why am I in moderation??
@Humble_One, now close your mouth cuz you cold busted
@bajanflchick,
The Rain is the best breakup song ever!!!!
“You was with the JUICE!!!!” and
“shut ya mouth cuz you cold BUSTED” kill me everytime.
@MsMeesh, filing this under future breakupsong to be playin on my voicemail circa 1990′s ish
@MsMeesh,
ah ah DONT TOUCH THAT COAT!!
@bajanflchick, i had a co-worker, call me from home ,on his day off.. to play this for me.. i D.I.E.!! everytime i hear it.. my gay,white husband ROCKS!!
“i bought you things you couldn’t even pronounce..”
@Nick_L_Odeon`,
“i bought you things you couldn’t even pronounce..”
“Now I can’t give u nothin but advice” LMAO..Classic
@Brando,
“Plus, any female rapper that tries to do both and be like Lauryn Hill.”
^I never thought Missy could rap, but she could sing. I might like some songs, but there is NOOOOOOOOOO flow.
@legitimate_soul, yeah,Missy can definitely sing. i have a homeboy who thinks she’s a good rapper.
i stopped taking his advice. if this ninja told me to that i needed to breathe to survive, i’d still go look it up while holding my breath just to be sure
@legitimate_soul,
What Missy DOES need to stop doing (actually EVERYONE) is the fake patois and sh*t. Nothing annoys me more. Going to Jamaica does NOT make you a Jamaican. So STOP trying.
*rant done.
@Keisha Brown, cosign 100 % *rant totally understood
I’m going co-sign on Rhiana, and Cassie… Carl Thomas is controversial to me. Olivia, Macy Gray and Akon are my adds to the list.
@Passion,
Co-sign on Macy (and Akon). Macy’s voice seems like she strained it and hurt herself (sounding like a combo between Whispers from “Hoodlum” and someone’s granny) and my ears labor and strain to hear a voice that is warbled.
@legitimate_soul, Co-sign on Macy (and Akon). Macy’s voice seems like she strained it and hurt herself (sounding like a combo between Whispers from “Hoodlum” and someone’s granny) and my ears labor and strain to hear a voice that is warbled.
dead!
@Passion,
Macy Gray and Akon
Ugggggh!!! Akon sounds like a mosquito that just won’t die! Ugh!!
@YGB, hahaha , wasn i the only one that got scared when he started ‘singing’/yelling/screaming on’ alienated’ that song he did with keri hilson?
since we’re on the topic lets add keri hilson i dont know what it is about her voice but she sounds like she finds it hard to breath when she sings.
Keyshia Cole cannot sing or write…it’s just juvenile. ” I was there, u were never there, ooooooh”. Tragic.
add to the list
Barry White (RIP): Talks not sings
India.Arie: ” ”
Omarion: Off key and pitch
Those other members of Jagged Edge: Just an assumption
Janet: Cooing
Monifah: Y’all know
@Digga,
Janet definitely isn’t a powerful singer. And it’s funny that her voice as Penny on ‘Good Times’ is deeper than her voice now.
Actually, with the exception of Jackson 5 and early material, Michael Jackson wasn’t a great singer neither. He had his own vocal stylings and dynamic production that made him stand out, but his voice wasn’t all that.
@Monk,
And it’s funny that her voice as Penny on ‘Good Times’ is deeper than her voice now. .
MJ gave her speech lessons.
@V Renee, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha DEAD
@Monk,
Actually, with the exception of Jackson 5 and early material, Michael Jackson wasn’t a great singer neither. He had his own vocal stylings and dynamic production that made him stand out, but his voice wasn’t all that.
Yea I can cosign with this, but I say after thriller is when it became more of a production.
@Digga, im baffled by the beyonce choice too, because she can defo sing to me she can sang, because she tries too hard to make you feel with all her growling, but she can definitley sing. i think the dislike for her comes from overexposure
@Digga,
*gasp!*
how dare you throw india.arie anywhere near keyshia cole’s “looooooooooooooooooooove”-ing behind on any type of list. stop! just stop.
@Muze, you just like india.arie cuz she’s deep and has a period in her name
Rhianna can’t sing. Cassie is just breathy whispers. Keyshia Cole sounds awful live because she can’t ever breathe right. Why do people say Beyonce can’t sing. I’m genuinely baffled by this.
@Manny,
“Why do people say Beyonce can’t sing. I’m genuinely baffled by this.”
In one word, Hate.
@Manny, yeh beyonce can definitely sing but she tries too hard sometimes to put emotion into her songs that it comes of contrived, but she defo as some pipes. i think the dislike of her comes from overexposure and catchy but juvenile lyrics.
@michaboa, cosign this whole statement
@michaboa, ditto to your cosign. as a self avowed one time hater of Beyonce, I have to say she can sing and has what many of the above mentioned folks do not, Stamina. I took my 15 year old niece to see Bey at the TD North Garden in Boston a couple of years back because Robin Thicke opened up for her (it was her first concert and we got a great hookup). i was floored at the almost 2 and a half hour presentation. She sang but in true Bey form “he tries too hard sometimes to put emotion into her songs that it comes of contrived, but she defo as some pipes. i think the dislike of her comes from overexposure and catchy but juvenile lyrics.” But that chile can sing.
@michaboa, ..and her tendency to yodel.
@Manny, It’s what michaboa said. It’s not that she’s a bad singer. She’s just not a powerhouse vocalist. But she tries really hard to be one and then she goes overboard and it sounds completely contrived. I think Monk is over simplifying with the hate. It actually baffles me that Beyonce is that one female artist who if you don’t like her it’s cause you’re hating and not that you actually just don’t like her.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
I think Beyonce can sing but she needs more formal TRAINING. I am not impressed with her singing (meaning I have never and will never buy her albums) but many of her songs are catchy enough for the gym and that’s what I like her for. Her lyrics? Overall gabbij. I think she needs a vocal coach and a songwriter. She needs to go to music school. A lot of other artists could benefit from that too. Rhianna is irredeemable though, she is the Island’s answer to Small Wonder.
@RocktheCatbox,
“irredeemable” should be the title of Rhi-Rhi’s next cd. I agree on Beyonce’s singing ability. I think she can sing but people shouldn’t act like she Aretha. Bey sings like she’s at a funeral in a very small church in the middle fo the woods in the south somewhere. I’d like her a lot more if she dialed it down a few notches.
@RocktheCatbox,
rihanna aint the answer to anything on any island
@sexywinergirl.
LMAO! I was trying to figure out her purpose in life, other than wearing designer clothes she doesn’t pick out herself.
@RocktheCatbox, I completely agree. I only listen to her while on the elliptical or treadmill at the gym because lyrically she’s worse than garbage, but the songs are catchy. I agree that if she had some training, she’d probably be really good.
@RocktheCatbox, what do you expect from Beyonce though? she’s a pop star. not india.arie who has to try to write deep sh*t to appeal to her fanbase’s headwraps and khaki cargo pants. beyonce sells records and pop songs aint the deepest anyway.
beyonce is good at what she does. which is singing and looking like beyonce.
@RocktheCatbox,
Don’t you dare put me on the next train to headwrap-hippyville, mister. Motown put out pop music, some of it was clever, some of it was funny, and a good bunch of it was vapid candy bullsh*t that didn’t have too much substance, but they were still well-written songs. Songs about the weather and candy and whatnot. To reiterate up in this b*tch, India Arie isn’t anybody’s blueprint for a standard good artist. I like an artist with a sense of humor and creativity and it is possible for an artist to do those things and be pop. Bey doesn’t need her songs to materialize from the cosmos in a cloud of motherf*cking incense. Like that Black Barbie song by Little Jackie–hilarious! Lily Allen is white-girl angry and curses all the time, for no damn reason, in every song. I love that. I even fux with Katy Perry. The day Beyonce admitted to rushing through writing songs for her last couple of albums was when I really started to dislike her, like she couldn’t be bothered to write decent songs. Pop artists can be held to some kind of standard because every genre of music requires its critics (that’s why there are awards, music journalists, charts and sh*t).
Meh. Deep (or an image of deepness) isn’t what I’m after. Good songwriting doesn’t have to be “deep!” I rebuke that!
I’m writing all of this because I’m still mad that Soldier was ever created and sung.
@RocktheCatbox, i need bey to take a page from sade’s book and live a little life between albums so she can have some substance to her music….that’s all i need from her.
@RocktheCatbox,
You captured my feelings about Beyonce’s singing.
This!! –>many of her songs are catchy enough for the gym and that’s what I like her for.
@RocktheCatbox,
Even Keyshia said she got a vocal coach between her first and second album on her reality show and I think improved. She’s still a terrible singer that uses mind-numbing riffs and her live performances are hit or miss. I am relieved that Beyonce can sing live, her oversinging is irritating but her voice doesnt have that tone deaf, baby whore quality to it and for that I am grateful.
I liked Carl Thomas and “I Wish” was my shyt!
I co-sign on J-Lo, Keith Sweat, Al B. Sure, JLo, Keisha Cole for “Love” (if nothing else, because I do like atleast 2 songs and Monica killed her when they did that duet at the Awards show), Rhianna, Mary (sometimes), Ashanti (not for no princess of R&B crown), and Panama’s list ‘cept for Carl Thomas. Pretty much anyone who’s on some “I’m black and screaming at you” needs to be on the list.
I gotta add: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul (how the hell was she judging singing and not dancing?), Madonna, Britney Spears, Brian McKnight (never did it for me). and sorry to include….Mariah and Whitney (they fell off, it’s sad).
Just Horrible singers and not Great Terrible singers: Lumidee, Cassie
@legitimate_soul, CO-SIGN
I was gonna say Britney spears myself, but now I got only two people.
Drake – He’s been promoted as someone who can sing and rap. But, all he does is harmonize.
Justin Bieber – Maybe I’m just jealous, but having usher as mentor makes you one lucky SOB. But, his voice sounds process.
@Mr. Gundam, whats the difference between singing and harmonizing?
@Plain Ole Peyso, anyone can harmonize. If everyone sings in the correct keys they can blend together to create the harmony. You don’t have to be a good singer to be able to harmonize. Choirs of full of ninjas who can’t sing, but because they harmonize together the choir can collectively sound good.
@legitimate_soul, Mariah and Whitney??….are you talking about these legendary vocalists of our time….grammy award winners, icons, bishes wish they could sing half as good as a Whitney or a Mariah or have the career they’ve had…they may not be selling albums right now….but these bishes definitely can sing…no doubt about that.
@QueenT, I have to respectfully disagree. Once upon a time, both of these ladies could really sing. But today this no longer holds true. Mariah does that breathy, whispery thing and Whitney just didn’t take care of herself so the instrument isn’t what it once was.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
What a waste of talent – SMH.
@QueenT,
Like I said, They fell off and it’s sad.
@QueenT,
“they may not be selling albums right now….but these bishes definitely can sing…no doubt about that”
No, they definitely could sing (past tense)
@legitimate_soul, Chile while you at it gon and throw Sade on there… that’s my girl but she has a voice made for dance.
@legitimate_soul, you actually think Carl Thomas can sing?
i want you to read that question up there, and sit with it for a second. just think and revisit.
@Panama Jackson,
You made me cackle! I can be very visual and this one question made me imagine myself sitting in the dark pondering your question. On some Capadonna “by myself meeting” shyt…..
okay, i need to go youtube carl thomas because, according to my memories, he can sing.
but you know who’s a great terrible singer? trey songz. although, “terrible” might be a little harsh. it’s not like his voice hurts my ears or anything, and i actually quite like most of his singles. but when you ignore his confidence and
manufacturedsex appeal, you begin to realize that, while he ain’t half bad, in real life he wouldn’t be singing the solo at your churchhouse on easter sunday or anything.@charli skipper,
but you know who’s a great terrible singer? trey songz. although, “terrible” might be a little harsh. it’s not like his voice hurts my ears or anything, and i actually quite like most of his singles. but when you ignore his confidence and manufactured sex appeal, you begin to realize that, while he ain’t half bad, in real life he wouldn’t be singing the solo at your churchhouse on easter sunday or anything.
I feel the exact way about Usher! He is more of a entertainer than anything else.
@charli skipper,
“but you know who’s a great terrible singer? trey songz.”
co-sign this! He sounds like a lamb being taken to the slaughter!
@charli skipper,
whaaaaat?? i’m confused.
he sang a tribute on some show on some channel with ne-yo, tyrese, and johnny gill and he and ne-yo were the only ones who sounded good.
i used to looooove tyrese’s voice. wtf happened?
i think trey songz problem is he tries too hard to be r.kelly. weird, because he dissed r.kelly in a whole song. iongetit.
@Muze, I like Trey…son can sing…smh…folks tripping with no map
it’s a difference between not liking an singer, and them not being able to sing
he killed it at the BET awards (what you’re talking about Muze) when he did the O’Jay’s tribute
@La Bakir,
i like him. i just think that if he were ugly and old people would be like, “negro, please. take that ish somewhere.” he works as a package, but his voice alone is okay. it sounds forced sometimes.
@Muze,
“i think trey songz problem is he tries too hard to be r.kelly. weird, because he dissed r.kelly in a whole song”
True. And the fact that he sings like he’s gurgling doesn’t help
@YGB,
True and true. And now that he thinks he’s the epitome of sex he thinks he can do no wrong when he’s singing.
@Muze, yeah, folks who dont think Trey can sing probably think Carl Thomas can.
@Muze, i said that ish the other day to my hubby…them notes on ‘Say Ahh’ when he says “for now…”…str8 kels
@charli skipper, okay, i need to go youtube carl thomas because, according to my memories, he can sing.
your memories are failing you, girl.
but you know who’s a great terrible singer? trey songz.
I actually grabbed my chest and gasped…loudly…when I read this. (I imagine that this is how Beyonce fans feel). The hell you say!! Trey Songz can MOST DEFINITELY sing. I was gonna throw out some song titles, but I really can’t think of anything that he doesn’t sound good on. I will say that sometimes when he’s live and he’s running around the stage getting excited, he starts to yell instead of sing (like when he’s performing Say Aah). I think they have voice/breathing coaches for that. But he sings acapella very often and his voice is quite angelic. Somebody said that he’s working a package that includes his voice and his looks – I’ll give you that, but who isn’t? Hey definitely sounds like Kellz and he knows and admits this – R. Kelly is one of his main influences. More than one person has told me that they really like that new R. Kelly song Neighbors Know My Name.
@Muze – Trey said that he did D.O.A. Kellz from the perspective of a disappointed fan. If you listen to the words of the song, it is a dis, but its not. “You supposed to be the King but you tryna be The Dream.” See?
I’m such an fcukin’ treystan *hangs head in shame*
Two words, Robin Thicke. I’m tired of turning the volume all the way up just to hear the damn words.
In other news, if you mention, Beyonce, Monica, Keyshia Cole, Mary J, you are just a hater. Period. Those women can SANG n u r trippin. cleanse yo’self!!
@Officer Ricky,
Mary J can’t sing! I think that was exposed on the grammy’s. She can scream her ass off, but I think she left singing in the 90′s.
@Officer Ricky,
Imma need you to stop thinking about Keyshia’s wet T-shirt in the “I should have cheated” and listen to the chorus to “Love.”
@Officer Ricky,
Imma need you to leave robin alone.
@Officer Ricky, Ugh! Robin can sing… Keyshia? bwoy stop!
@Officer Ricky, i dont care for Robin Thicke at all. he hasn’t had not one single solitary song that i’ve liked.
i HATED “lost without you” and “sex therapy”
@Panama Jackson, the last cd sucks but not one single song? no Dreamworld? Ms. Harmony? U Center Me? Against the World? Teach U A Lesson? damn, son.
@Panama Jackson,
I agree, Robin can’t sing. Might like a song or two (I can shamefully, shamefully!-don’t rub it in! -that I like “Wanna Love You Girl”) but he can’t sing. They were trying to sell tickets to see Robin in concert. Negative. I will stab you. Maxwell has NOTHING to worry about.
@Panama Jackson,
** i dont care for Robin Thicke at all. he hasn’t had not one single solitary song that i’ve liked.
i HATED “lost without you” and “sex therapy”**
I almost closed my safari app and considered boycotting the blog (until I realized I’m addicted) due to this comment.
I loved “the evolution of robin thicke” –lost without u, teach u a lesson, complicated, wanna love you girl…
Not so much something else album just ms. Harmony, sweetest live, tie my hands, dreamworld…maybe I like that album more than I thought
and I really like sex therapy–mrs sexy, it’s in the morning, jus right, brand new luv
@Officer Ricky,
I saw Robin recently in concert..and will co-sign on him LIVE. some of his songs on cd however… *wipes sweat from brow. ; )
@Keisha Brown, total cosign… love the CD, live not so much
Great terrible singers
1) Pharrell – I call dudes like him crooners for lack of better term. I don’t think he is a great singer but he harmonizes pretty good
2) Akon – This guy is bad too but I tolerate him.
3) Nate Dogg – He actually doesn’t sound bad to me but for some reason I can’t see him as a legitimate singer. I tried to listen to his solo album but I couldn’t take it.
4) Drake – I’m just not impressed. Another dude that harmonizes pretty good.
5) Bone Thugs N Harmony – The harmony made up for the other dudes that couldnt rap outside of Krayzie Bone.
6) Al B. Sure – I know I’m not the first and won’t be the last to name this guy.
@Humble_One,
Dear God I was actually questioning Nate Dogg’s credibility for the longest. I mean, he’s the kaing (or former kaing) of hooks n sh*t but I never really took him as a legit album to album R&B singer.
@Brando, I really wish I could make a career out of doing hooks lol
@Plain Ole Peyso,
i know RIGHT!?!?!!?
I remember when T-Pain had that song, In love with a stripper. I think that was the ONLY song he didn’t use the vocaloid effects on it. He was ok, nothing to get excited about.
I’d have to add:
Drake – For some reason, I just HATE him. I hate his face, I hate his voice, I hate EVERYTHING about this cat.
Keyisha Cole – After that looooOOOooovvvvveee song, when she cracked at that high crackhead pitch, I was DONE
Ciara – She uses her boyish frame and dancing to make up for the lack of singing talent
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
drake’s face looks like a st. bernard puppy. and lol at ciara’s boyish frame.
@charli skipper,
drake looks like a 3 toed sloth!
@charli skipper,
Like he’s three pumps away from down’s syndrome?
@V Renee,
LOL!
@V Renee, LMAO! Now exactly how did you come up with the 3?!
@charli skipper, nah, he looks like that flying dog from Neverending Story
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
Ciara – She uses her boyish frame and dancing to make up for the lack of singing talent
Not quite those things just make her an ok Aaliya wannabe
@CalibywayofLA,
i’m sorry. but ciara can dance geometric shapes and circles around aaliyah. aaliyah was better at being aaliyah and could sing better… but in no way was she a great dancer outside of the hip roll
that she taught me how to do on that last cd.@Muze, it was an impressive ass hip roll though. you’ve got to admit.
@Jade (not a prOn) Star, ITA with the Drake ref…i just don’t get it.
@jenifer daniels, welcome and sh*t (i think)
@Panama Jackson, thank you and you are correct. actually bullsh*t
@Jade (not a prOn) Star, i distinctly remember auto-tune being used on “in love with a stripper”.
like distinctly. not remotely.
I love, love, love this man’s work. LOVE IT! But he is a great terrible singer and a favorite of mine: Mos Def .
I also gotta, gotta, gotta’ add Wyclef…Although the first “Carnival” album is my shyt. The wail ya’ll…….
@legitimate_soul,
“I also gotta, gotta, gotta’ add Wyclef…Although the first “Carnival” album is my shyt. The wail ya’ll…….
His singing is just so Highlander like!
@legitimate_soul,
Wyclef is a great addition to this list. Thank you for putting the chorus to “Someone please call 9-1-1″ or whatever the actual name of the song in my head.
@Monk,
You could have kept that to yourself. Now I here goats bleating.
Thanks… for nothing.
@legitimate_soul,
see, that was my one addition. wyclef’s non-singing screeching arse. now i have none. lol
@legitimate_soul, I feel you on Mos Def, but for some reason I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE when Mos sings! I think its b/c I don’t think that he really expects me to take him completely seriously. Do you have the New Danger album? He sings on there so much and I LOVE IT!! I actually just flipped over to iTunes to play The Panites.
@Yonnie3k, Listening to The New Danger and realizing that I’m in love with Mos Def. Not as much as I’m in love with Trey Songz, but it’s love nonetheless. Rap, sing, act, host HBO poetry show, guest appearance on Chappelle’s Show…doesn’t matter. If you haven’t seen Something the Lord Made, please add it to your Netflix queue.
@Yonnie3k,
You are not alone. I love his “singing” songs. I love Mos Def too!
I’m kind of up in the air on the Pied Piper of R&B. On some songs I feel as if he might be putting in work, on others, not so much.
@Helagramki, Co-sign!
Keri Hilson- As much as I love her, I just can’t listen to her sound like a beat up Liger!
Ryan Leslie- He sounds like Randy Watson! I can actually see him losing a high school talent show.
@Kirk Lazarus, did you say “beat up Liger”?!?!
I hate u and everything u stand for, sir! Leave ligers out of this!
I’ll be the first 2 say it: Beyonce. Sure she’s a great entoetainer, but her voice makes me think of beaten goats. And no, I don’t hate her. I just don’t particularly like her or her music outside of Destiny’s Child (Single Ladies and Deja Vu excepted 4 workout purpose). Add to that she sounds like Mush Mouff when she talks and she just makes me want to stab her in thre throat.
@Kirk Lazarus, “He sounds like Randy Watson!”- kind of Good & Terrible, I know what you mean
@Kirk Lazarus,
re: Keri Hilson – her mixtape material before she got any exposure actually wasn’t half bad.
@Deviant,
I kinda of like Keri because she isn’t Beyonce.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E., what does that mean, aside from she obviously isn’t beyonce?
what differentiates the two that makes you like keri more?
@Panama Jackson,
I suffering from Beyonce fatigue. Keri obviously isn’t as talented, or better looking, but out all of the alternatives out there she’s best. That is all. I have skewed vision of things.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E., DO NOT get it twisted.. “slow dance” is my new stripper song.. (replacing “doin it” r.i.p.)there’s something about it that makes me wanna grind.. #imjustbeinhonest
@Kirk Lazarus,
i heart ryan leslie so much. but i can see what you’re getting at. but still, i heart him.
@Kirk Lazarus,
Lord I’m glad you said Keri because I was just about to add her. This chick. CAN. NOT. SING. I burned her CD from a guy who of course only bought it because of how she looked, as though he would be able SEE her while her CD is playing. Was she gonna pop out of his dashboard and give him head? She should have done that instead, because her voice sounds like two cats f*ckin to me and I wish she would stop doing interpretive dance in her videos.
@RocktheCatbox,
“I wish she would stop doing interpretive dance in her videos.”
bwahaahaha! i thought i was the only one who noticed that she MUST have been one of the praise dancers in her church, cause all her videos look like she’s trying to translate ‘sound through motion’.
@Muze, I’m dead because now when I go to church on Sunday I’m going to vision Ms. Keri with the rest of the praise dancers!
@RocktheCatbox, “her voice sounds like two cats f*ckin to me and I wish she would stop doing interpretive dance in her videos.”
LMMAAAOOOOO girl dis right here just made my day
@BKSweetheart,
Heehee. I just thought of her love knocks me down video…this bish makes a heart sign with her fangas and punches herself in the face. COME ON, HELEN KELLER!
@Kirk Lazarus, yeah I have never got the appeal of Ryan Leslie. at all. Keri sounds good to me on “Energy”, but most days she just kinda “tries to sing” over synthesized beats.
Way to end the week on a light note, folk…
Gotta agree with you on #s 1, 2, 3 & 6. Carl Thomas is a pretty strong singer, tho…his tone and breathing are pretty polished, and dude has some crazy vocal control.
Having said that, there’s a big difference between being able to sing and having a great/strong voice. To me, singing is more technical, the stuff that one has to work at…i.e., breathing, pitch/tone, phrasing, timing, etc. (although there are some innate aspects to singing…like just knowing how to carry a song). A good/great voice, though…you usually either have it or you don’t. The great ones (Aretha, Donny, Stevie, Luther) have/had both. A lot of artists nowadays just have one or the other: some artists have good/strong voices, but just aren’t the best singers (Mary J. circa early 90′s comes to mind, although she’s come a long way since then)…others actually are good singers technically, but just don’t have the best/strongest voices (R. Kelly is a prime example…dude is a talented singer, but def. not the best voice in the world). Having said that, you can still have a pretty solid career, as the recording industry generally ain’t based on talent nowadays.
I mean, Diddy is singing now….Diddy.
@DG, this is actually a really good explanation of how to identify a good singer.
@DG,
Yeah this is a good explanation.
@DG,
Thank you very much!! I grew up going to music schools and it always bothered me when people were called good singers because of catchy music, production and publicity machines. Pop is pop, I know but I like my singers to sing. I say put these singers everyone thinks is good in an empty concert hall, with no instruments or synthesizers and have them AUDITION for a record deal, old school style. Half these clowns (especially you, Pretty Ricky, Tierra Marie, Nivea…) would be spending their lives working the drive-thru window. Shoot, Tierra Marie probably moonlights at TJ Maxx already.
@RocktheCatbox,
Half these clowns (especially you, Pretty Ricky, Tierra Marie, Nivea…) would be spending their lives working the drive-thru window. Shoot, Tierra Marie probably moonlights at TJ Maxx already.
(PREACH!!)
@DG & RocktheCatbox,
I look at hip-hop the same way. MCing is more technical to me. You have to have flow, wordplay, storytelling, breath control, etc. Most current rappers have flow at best. A lot a people confuse flow with lyrics. A lot of nice MCs have the lyrics but can’t ride a beat to save their life. Or they have no breath control (e.g. early Nas and Kanye). You got rappers all over the place that can ride a beat (e.g. Wocka, Snoop, late 50 cent) that have average lyrics at best.
A lot of nice MCs have the lyrics but can’t ride a beat to save their life. <— Can you say F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S? Lyrically, dude is niiiiice (in my Fab voice) but his flow is boring and he rarely switches it up.
This is a whole other post. (Hint, hint)
@DG, Gotta agree with you on #s 1, 2, 3 & 6. Carl Thomas is a pretty strong singer, tho…his tone and breathing are pretty polished, and dude has some crazy vocal control.
your Carl Thomas and my Carl Thomas must be different people.
Nobody better fix they mouf (yeah, i said mouf!) to say my dawg Donnel Jones or Avant!! Dem boys puts it down!
@Tx10inch, Donnell Jones had a very uniquely terrible but good sounding voice. i’ve never seen him live but i wonder what his voice would sound like on stage.
@Panama Jackson,
Yeah, me too. Always wondered how he sounded live or was he just a studio singer. Any truth to him being the son of Bobby “Gospel Pimp Suit” Jones??
@Tx10inch,
Both are average at best. (sorry)
@CNotes,
Yeah. Average at being AWESOME.
@Tx10inch,
Nah. Awesome at being AVERAGE.
Alicia Keys (ducks)…she sounds good when she sings in a lower pitch but when it’s high it’s bad and when its bad it’s horrid. She is an excellent songwriter though.
I think back in the day, songwriters were songwriters and singers were singers and it worked. Now everyone wants to do both A.Keys, Ne-Yo, Kerry Hilson.
@Superior Motherload,
Ditto I think she’s talented (piano, songwriting) but alot of times she’s just screaming (empire state of mind) or whispering (I’m ready, sleeping w/a broken heart).
@Superior Motherload, i have to co-sign especially when i saw her haiti telethon performance, i was so tense watching that hoping that she was not going to overly crack.lawd
@Superior Motherload, you know what, I have to disagree. I actually saw her live last year and I was very pleasantly surprised. She had really good control. I could honestly see her growth as a vocalist.
@Superior Motherload, i agree. if she was on Idol…Simon would rip her a new one and Randy would say she was pitchy.
@jenifer daniels,
LOL! True.
@Superior Motherload,
lol. no need to duck..im keeping my shoes on..
however will disagree with you.
i think she tries different ranges, but if you listen to all her cd’s from songs in a minor to element of freedom, she’s been consistently good (with a few side eye projects…). i’ve seen her live twice. her most recent concert wasn’t better than the last, but still good.
i probably also respect her for using her voice to sell records instead of faux ignorance that beyonce uses (i dont use sex to sell my record..um.. have you watched one of your own videos??). that being said.. swizz beatz??? *smh..
@Superior Motherload,
Co-sign on Alicia. She strains her voice to make it do more than it does or can at this time.
Let me add, Glenn Lewis. I know ya’ll are scratching your heads right now, lol. Remember ol dude with that “don’t you forget it” song? ‘member? you ‘member! lol. I’m still trying to figure out what the first verse was about.
side note: I know folks may not like Beyonce. . . but, how is her singing terrible, again? She does a lot of runs, which may not be everyone’s cup o’tea. A little dramatic at times, I’ll give you that. But, those aren’t signs of a poor singer, IMO. I’ve never heard her just mess up a song vocally. (And, I don’t mean “she shouldn’t have covered ____ b/c the original was better” as a percieved mess up — I mean, flat out just eff a song up b/c she lacked the vocal ability).
@BSQUARED86, That part in Ego after “I don’t need no beat, I can sing it with piano” Um dear, you do need a beat. I love Beyonce’s CDs because they are mostly fun, but I can’t get with the slow songs…the girl can’t really sang.
@BSQUARED86, someone else mentioned this above. I think the deal with her is that most times when folks say good singers, they automatically think of a powerhouse singer–someone with a really great voice. Beyonce’s voice is not that–as shown by her rendition of At Last (she just couldn’t do what Etta did). She’s not a powerhouse vocalist. However, I think she really tries to be–i.e. the runs, the guttural notes–and when she does, it comes off as overdone and contrived. So I think that’s what turns some folks off. But she’s not a bad singer by any means.
@Hershey’s Kiss, LMAO. how does her doing runs come off as contrived when she can actually do them?
Beyonce could sing in church and nobody would question her being there. that’s how you know she can sing. Keri Hilson, not so much.
you wouldnt ask mary to come into your church and do a rendition of “amazing grace” cuz you just dont know what you’d get. unless she took a hit of rock before. then you’d get pain and anguish mary…basically the mary folks loved the most.
@Panama Jackson, you can laugh, but it does. I mean the thing is, you think she can, but a lot of people actually think that she cannot. In my opinion, it comes across as contrived because it’s like she’s trying to show you “Look how good I am at singing.” instead of just singing (or flowing for a better word) with the song.
And of course she could sing in anybody’s church and not be questioned. She’s friggin’ Beyonce! That still doesn’t mean that everyone will think she can sing.
@BSQUARED86,
Funny you would mention Glenn Lewis, because folks (media, critics, some journalists) were comparing him to Stevie Wonder when he came out. Anybody ever see Part II of his video for “Don’t You Forget It”? Was it another song and was it that I just didn’t keep interest and forgot about the whole thang?
@Mika, Hershey’s Kiss
Thank you, for sharing why you don’t think Beyonce’s a good singer, Hershey’s Kiss and Mika. I’m still not seeing anything that would cause me to doubt Beyonce’s vocal ability, but that’s probably b/c runs, for me, are not a sign of poor singing if the person can actually do them well. I’m trying to think of a singer that doesn’t do a little vocal acrobatics every now and again. Coming up blank (atleast when it comes to my favorites, like Lutha, Patti, Gladys, Whitney, Tina, etc.).
IMO liking how someone sings or handles a song and recognizing/acknowledging that they are talented are two different things. But, personal taste is personal taste and I respect that. Kinda like how I hate that Mariah whisper sang a bunch of songs on Butterfly but I still know that she’s a good singer (and enjoy those songs anyway).
@PanamaJackson
LMAO @ a hit of rock . . . you know you ain’t right! All she gotta do is give Kendu a lil shove & all is well.
@legitimate_soul,
I can see why folks were comparing him to Stevie b/c they sound similar. Unfortunately, he wasn’t giving me enough Stevie to enjoy that song. It felt way too whiny and flat in certain places. I think I remember that second song too, lol. I need to hear more from him in order for me to reaaally give him a pass.
(pardon me ya’ll for this late reply, lol)
Shakira – sounds like she’s sucking a d1ck while singing! She can dance her azz of but her singing on the other hand – NO!
Leona Lewis is another one who’s singing is iffy at times.
Ray J – don’t know if he qualifies as a singer though.
The Pussycat Dolls – nuff said!
@YGB,
LMAO @ Ray-J…how oculd I forget that ninja? I can’t stand his corny arse…to think I had a crush on him in my younger days…smh @ me
@YGB, I wasn’t aware that people thought these folks were doing was “singing” anyway. LMAO. having said that–Sexy Can I was my ISH! Ray J is tragic though.
@YGB,
holy crap! how could we forget shakirashakira! she sounds like she’s drowining under water!
@YGB,
Thank you for adding Shakira! She sound like she gargling and singing at the same time.
@legitimate_soul,
*snickering loudly*
@YGB,
That damn Shakira… yes!
BUT who doesn’t enjoy seeing her move? And I’ma straight woman….
@YGB,
Ditto to Shakira . . . she makes me cringe. I wanna reach in her throat and pull out the Columbian midget that has a hold on her vocal cords.
I’m adding to the list Alicia Keys…she can tap those keys, but she should keep her mouth shut. Her voice makes my insides crawl.
Remembering Presha made me snarl. @DG, wasn’t he from Augusta?
Rhi-Rhi can’t sing for sh*t. Can’t stop looking at her though.
The notes that Keisha Cole missed in that song “Love” are still on the “Have You Seen Me” flyers at Wal-Mart.
I think Bey can sing , but we have a generation of chanteuse (sp) who oversing because they all wanted to be Whitney when they were kids.
F***in’ Presha, really *sorry*
Amerie. No to talent, Easy on the eyes, but can/could make a good song she got Knowled by Knowles.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
LMBO at…
**The notes that Keisha Cole missed in that song “Love” are still on the “Have You Seen Me” flyers at Wal-Mart.**
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
The notes that Keisha Cole missed in that song “Love” are still on the “Have You Seen Me” flyers at Wal-Mart. .
Bwhahahahaha!!
Yall gon like my homegirl Keisha (Keyshia or Keysha…how the hell does she spell her name?) alone. I ? her.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
“The notes that Keisha Cole missed in that song “Love” are still on the “Have You Seen Me” flyers at Wal-Mart.”
i can’t! lmbo! too funny.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E., I was waiting for the Amerie mention! I agree, but I do like her music–except for the CD she put out last year, it absolutely sucked.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
The notes that Keisha Cole missed in that song “Love” are still on the “Have You Seen Me” flyers at Wal-Mart.
*so far gone (#nodrake)
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
“Remembering Presha made me snarl. @DG, wasn’t he from Augusta? ”
Oh no, you not putting dude on us…that ninja’s from Aiken, as far as I’m concerned…
But yeah, I feel you totally…f***in’ Presha…
@DG,
Come on Aiken! I remember back in the day when Presha used to sing promos on 100.9 the Beat in Augusta. (Now that was a radio station.)
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
There are certain things we’ll claim with pride as being of Augusta…the Godfather of Soul, the Masters, etc. Unfortunately, Pressha didn’t make the cut…sorry.
And yeah, the Beat was doing it back in the day.
@DG,
He didn’t make the cut, so you shoved him to my side of the river huh? Do y’all claim Pastor Troy?
If the term “Ghetto Superstar” is ever added to any dictionary James Browns picture should be next to it. The man held that title for an entire region in the CSRA.
The best 2 descriptions i’ve ever heard:
Rihanna sounds like she is perpetually falling off a building.
And
Keyshia Cole sounds like a cat stuck in a dryer.
Other than that, Ciara sings in monotone, Keri Hilson sounds okay on an overproduced beat (hi kanye). Akon sounds like he inhales Helium before he sings.
Akon – I just can’t. If he’s is on a track I just have to change.
Ciara, Janet Jackson – all that whispering just doesn’t cut it. I want someone that can sang.
T-boz – although I loved TLC back in the day, she jsut has a monotone voice, no range at all.
I co-sign pretty much everything..not sure about Carl Thomas or Wanya Morris.
In defense of Ja Rule..Im pretty sure he knows he cannot sing. I don’t think he was trying to be a singer..he was just doing what worked at the time…the formula worked
Ashanti is calling herself a singer. She is okay but she can’t really sing
Keri Hilson can’t really sang either. She dances okay. She is a superb writer…she should stick with that.
In defense of Ciara. She does not suck all around as you stated, but she definitely cannot sing. She can dance her azz of though.
Queen Latifah…cannot sing. Yet she keeps putting out these jazz cover albums and for crying out loud…why doesn’t she go back to doing what she does best….RAP!
Missy Elliott cannot sing..she is a producer of beats. She should stick to that.
I love Janet Jackson..she can dance her azz off…but her vocals leave much to be desired.
@QueenT, not sure about Carl Thomas or Wanya Morris.
you dont have to be sure. i’m sure for you.
Michael Joseph Jackson.
Yeah, I said it.
His catalog his timeless to say the least, but a strong, great singer, he was not.
@Monk, No he was not. And you know what boggles me? Early MJ could sing! I mean, Who’s Loving You he had a decent voice. Then fast forward past the adolescent years and he had that trembly, whispery voice. I always wondered how he could have a deeper voice at 7 than he did as a grown man.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
This is something that has plagued the Jackson family.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
c/s…his voice def fell off
but as a kid…son could blow
pause
@La Bakir,
superdead at that pause. yousa fool.
@Muze,
:p
I’m in a real ignorant mood this morning…let the hilarity proceed,lol
@Monk, I feel like you stabbed me in the heart. deep.
yeah young Michael’s vocals were outstanding, adult not as much. young Michael still brings tears to my eyes. ok, I’m done. *goes to cry in the corner*
@Reecie,
I teared up in “This Is It” when the music was off and he was singing without the band telling folks where he wanted the cues and emphasis to be. I saw he could definitely sing, but I agree he kept it soft as he got older. I remember on the Russ Parr show (radio show) years ago they did a crank call where someone allegedly called MJ’s house and he answered the phone sounding like a deep voiced black man and coughed and said “hold on” and came back all soft and high pitched.
@legitimate_soul, I still have not watched This is It. I’m not ready.
@legitimate_soul, I once saw a clip on youtube (don’t remember what it was called) of Michael talking behind the stage and he had a deep voice. I think it was all a part of his emasculate-myself-to-make-White-people-comfortable plan
@Monk,
My thoughts, and well I still Stan for MJJ….
but because he was trying to stay all Peter Pan young, he didn’t want to grow into his grown man voice, so he started trying to have a softer sound. This made his voice sond softer at 40 than it did at 12.
I think we never heard his adult singing full force because he didn’t want us to.
@Monk, yup. that’s true.
Cosign the cosignification that came before me. Especially Rihanna. She can’t sing worth a damn but she has great style (well except when she’s wearing her Easter socks with pumps. Not cute.)
@meka,
(well except when she’s wearing her Easter socks with pumps. Not cute.)
That’s all the rage this season honey….you gotta cop you some Easter socks while there still on the rack gurl friend. *in Ru-Paul’s voice* you better work!
@meka,
LOL @ Easter socks!
Is that what we’re doing now? Going back to 2nd grade clothing items, Rih?
Mariah hasn’t been on fiyah since 1995!!!!! In fact hasn’t she been canceling shows b/c she’s been downing too much bubbly. Hmmmm??? Me thinks Nick needs to coat her voice pipes a bit more.
@Alovelydai, wow. LMAO.
welcome and sh*t (i think)
@Alovelydai,
Me thinks Nick needs to coat her voice pipes a bit more.
*came back to life for a brief moment..and dead again.
@Alovelydai,
“Me thinks Nick needs to coat her voice pipes a bit more. ”
CTFU!!!!!! Dayum.
ok so my english folks or europeans in general might may agree or disagree, but cheryl cole can’t sing.
I’ve seen Carl Thomas live. He’s great. K Ci/Wanya do too many vocal acrobatics but if they sing straight, they actually do have nice voices. I agree with everyone on your list though. Ciara can dance though so that covers up her limited range. lol I saw K ci live a few years ago and even though his voice is a lil messed up from all of those drugs, he still can do some things.
Keyshia Cole and keri hilson both sound horrible live but their studio voices are decent.
@Panama, Mr. Jackson if you nasty
Hey! You leave Carl Thomas out of this!… and the Suge thing… you mean Shug Avery, right?… whatever, you just leave Carl alone!
@Yeah…SO!?!, yeah i mean suge avery. and no. carl thomas needs to be outed as the non-singin ass ninja that he is
Since he all the sudden wants to start singing on “his” tracks now, I gotta add Diddy to the list. Especially if you’ve heard his newer song “Angels” I think it hit it’s worst point. When he actually puts out an album that doesnt have someone “featured” (i.e. singing the whole song except the one verse diddy does) on every track, I’ll be surprised.
I forgot about Fantasia. I think her mom is a better singer than she is.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E., i think teeny is a better singer than all of them
@Panama Jackson, i died! teeeeeenay!
It looks like the R&B world is pretty much covered, so I’ll make a few more additions and then move into some uncharted territory:
1. Kandi Burress- When she made her comeback debut on “Real Housewives of Atlanta”, I kept oscillating between “Her voice is cool” and “What the hell?”. Obviously the latter won me over. Which reminds me…
1b. Tiny – When she made her comeback on the “Tiny & Toya” show, all I wondered about was how the hell she made it into the group Escape in the first place. Are you really charming T.I. with those vocals?
2. Fergie- I did nothing but cring through her entire Black Eyed Peas performance at the grammys. I’ve never heard her perform well live.
3. Ke$ha- The fact that she pronounces her name the way she does (and not like Keee-sha, as us black folks know it) just bothers the hell out of me. And she has zero talent. Shameful!
4. Miley Cyrus- I truly thought about suing her for cruel and unusual punishment to my ear drums. I mean, I know singing is the family business but someone should have told her to explore some other options!
@More is More, co-sign on this entire list. I never liked Kandi or Tiny’s voices and always wondered how in hell they made it in Xscape.
@Hershey’s Kiss, have yall listened to Xscape lately? I agree Kandi is suspect but Tiny is all over most of their songs. I don’t know about now, but she used to be able to sing, well IMO.
@More is More,
1b side note: Big ups to T.I. for hanging in there with his baby momma, but dang, homegirl’s lips either has allergies, have permanent damage from being stung by 50 killer bees; OR the South American plastic surgeon she contracted to work on them soup coolers needs to be blacklisted…STAT!
@Brotha Tech,
Word…her lips look sick…as if she needed anymore distractions on that face of hers
@More is More,
Great list!
Kandi’s voice is annoying!!
Miley needs to be kidnapped.
sigh…unfortunately I’ma have to put my otha baby momma…Sade..in the line of fire.
- she looks good
- she sexy as hell
- got that smoky/ sensual/depressing ass whisper thing down to a T
- she’s half nigerian
- she’s sexy….lol
- but she’s not a great singer…
Sawwy Sade…had to do it.
@BmoreCreative, co-sign!
I know black folks can legally get sued for dissing Sade, but homegirl can’t sing.
@BmoreCreative,
*Gasp*
Blasphemy!
@BmoreCreative,
I give Sade a pass because she knows her limits. She was a model who took singing up, had a talented band of musicians backing her up and it paid off. She has the coolness factor working in her favor. If I want to have a drink with you after hearing your voice and not say, shoot myself in the face, a mediocre singer might get a pass. I felt similarly about Aaliyah. Come to think of it…some of Sade’s songs are so depressing I DO want to shoot myself in the face, but not because her singing is bad.
@RocktheCatbox,
don’t get me wrong …I love Sade (drink her bath water/ have her babies/take extra drawers to her concert to throw @ her and alla dat extra stuff folks be saying…lol) but she isn’t a great singer. What she has definitely works for her…she perfected her signature sound.
@RocktheCatbox,
“had a talented band of musicians backing her up”
This is an understatment. Sweetback is that deal.
@Humble_One,
WORD! When they worked with Amel Larrieux I like to have died. They are the sh*t.
@BmoreCreative,
I kind of want to agree with you. But I just can’t quite do so just yet. Let me go listen to smooth operator and then I’ll make a decision.
@BmoreCreative, i’d like to thank you for having the guts to come forward and admit the truth.
okay… i will fight your face for ever bringing Wanya’s name anywhere near a list of ‘terrible’ anything besides dressing, and well, they all dressed like that. the coordination. wow. i still love them to pieces though.
anyhoo…. i’m going to add Ginufine and his baby hair.
errrrrybody wanted to ride his Pony but once he slows it down and sings a serious song, i just laugh. he sounds like a 12 year old boy just hitting puberty.
…and the 12 year old MJ could sang circles around his adult self.
…and alicia keys hasn’t hit a good note since she was ‘Fallin’.
and as much as it pains me to say this about my husband… Kanye can hold a tune, yes, but i heard him say he could sing once and i involuntarily laughed. no, boo. luther can sang. you can say words long to a melody.
white artists….
alanis morrisette- i heart her so much. but chick cannot. won’t ever. be able to sing.
adam levine- lead singer of Maroon 5. heart him too. but nope. the pipes he does not have.
that’s all.
@Muze,
oh, and i’d quote the lines that made me LOL literally… but i was too dead. funniest post i’ve seen from you thus far. good job.
@Muze, really? wow. i must be stepping sh*t up.
@Muze,
…and the 12 year old MJ could sang circles around his adult self. .
Oh YEAH he could. 12 year old MJ was the ish!!!!
@Muze,
Take it back! Take it Back!
Adam Levine can’t *sang*, but he can sing! That nomination is so unwarranted!
@Muze, Alanis? Really? Maybe I give her a pass b/c she is such as kick ass writer. But Uninvited? No?
Keith Sweat-The OG non-sanging superstar.
Every member of The Beatles
Bobby Brown
I nominate Cheap Trick-Surrender for catchiest song of all time. That hook is marvelous.
Add Drake to the list. He is a strangely untalented, and confident.
@Dash, Who does Drake have naked pictures off? There is no explination for his “fame”.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.,
Drake is “The Great Light Hope”, and an inspiration to the soul crushingly average people of the world.
Observation:Butch/Stud Lesbians love him.
@Dash,
*nodding* I briefly wanted to be “The Great Light Hope” but I am at peace with my averageness.
@Dash,
“Keith Sweat-The OG non-sanging superstar.”
Yeah, Keith. NOBODY…think you can sing.
what i think is worth another post (or two) is UNNECESSARY singers/rappers. you know…folks that when you hear a song you think “so and so could’ve did that…what a waste)
stew on that one.
@jenifer daniels, if we did this post, half the music industry would be dust.
i do have a post that might be fun though someway in that vein. it seems that certain prominent singer from our youth isn’t getting enough credit for a lot of these ninjas jacking her style nowadays.
@Panama Jackson, Kelis? wait well I wouldn’t call her “from my youth” LOL
@Panama Jackson,
“if we did this post, half the music industry would be dust.”
Word. I can’t even START on how pissed off I am when a mediocre rapper gets a tight beat. WTF, that’s like going to a buffet, filling up a plate with all the good stuff, then just letting it sit on the table. A WASTE.
I actually read all the previous comments (for the most part)
And how MJ, MJB, and Whitney made this list without anyone honoring….FANTASIA is beyond me!
She sounds like a cross between Little Richard and a old negro spiritual….just terrible!
Oh, and while I’m at it SWV…sucks! And they aren’t even easy on the eyes..nor can they dance.
And I’m about to get real disrespectful….may she RIP…but Aaliyah could not sing either
@La Bakir,
OMG I am so glad you brought up Fantasia. I’ve NEVER thought she could sing (although I do like ? When I See You ?. Even when she was on American Idol, her voice grated my nerves. And all of that hopping around barefoot on stage? No. Sitcho azz down.
and should we bring up her almost neck tattoo of ol’ married dude??.@V Renee,
*cringes* I hate, hate, hate “When I See You”…she was too grown to be singing those darn lyrics. I liked “Free Yourself”…that was cool.
Yuck @ her neck tattoo…shame and a scandal!
@La Bakir,
I passionately hate “When I See You” also.
I never liked Fantasia but that song, along w/ her adding all them tats, made me loathe her!
@Made In Hawaii,
THANK YOU!!! Like seriously…everyone else I knows LOVES that song. I was in pergatory when we went to Barbados….they played that song every 5 seconds like it just came out! To top it off, our cab driver had it on CD….
@La Bakir,
I was just talking to my friend about Fantasia’s “singing”. She has a few good songs out, but i couldn’t listen to a whole album of hers. Her voice sounds like 2 cats fightin in a pillowcase.
@La Bakir, You know I didn’t even think of her as a singer. I don’t know why. I just think of her as a reality TV star. Is that wrong?
@Hershey’s Kiss, LMAO!!!!! I can’t! Especially when she’s been a “singer” longer
I love a live show, so if you can’t replicate it on stage, don’t do it in the studio. All that to say I’ll add ANY dude (with the exception of MJ) who EVER sang the MAJORITY of ANY song in falsetto
Maxwell – The pioneer of falsetto
The Dream – He actually wrote a song about the subject
Robin Thicke – He may be blacker than me, but the fake swoon has got to go if he wants to ever beat out Jon B. as “the Great White Hope” of RnB – Just having a bangin’ sistah on his arm won’t cut it in my book.
@Brotha Tech, excuse my error! I am pretty sure we all agree that Tina Marie’s jersey has been lifted into the rafters as “The Great White Hope” of RnB.
My Bad
…as you were
@Brotha Tech,
yasss!! Her isht is hanging proudly up there right next to Michael McDonald and Bobby Caldwell!
@Brotha Tech,
Maxwell – The pioneer of falsetto .
?? But I can’t go for that, (No can do)
No, I can’t go for that, (No can do)
Oh, I can’t go for that, (No can do)
??
Sidenote: Now Hall and Oates – They can sang!
@V Renee, I’m sorry, brothas shouldn’t spend most of the track in falsetto…that isht sounds TERRIBLE when they hit the stage. Addendum to that list: Musiq Soulchild
I forgot about Hall and Oates…but you forgot about my MAIN man, Micheal McDonald – That joint he did with Patti LaBelle was the troof!
@V Renee, YO!!!! i have their greatest hits.. (showin my other side)…
“one on one”- sorry, that’s my JAM!!
@Nick_L_Odeon`, I have their greatest hits also. Hall & Oates are awesome.
@Nick_L_Odeon`,
I loves me some H&O. Mullets and all.
@V Renee,
Agreed on “not going for that” (that’s my jam!). Maxwell live can KILL “This Woman’s Work”. He was the truth and hit every note live. Maxwell is the truth.
@legitimate_soul, yes, please let’s all step away from Maxwell & no one gets hurt*swoonin at Maxwell live sangin “This Woman’s Work”. fans self
@V Renee,
I know you wouldn’t agree but yeah, Maxwell? Meh.
@Sula,
Once again, ? I can’t go for that, (No can do) ?
lmao
@Brotha Tech, o_O maxwell??????? * sings* someone stop the world, i heard some of his live performances and the falsetto is still there. mind you he did like 78 shows during his tour so is voice was wearing thin a little, but i can’t have you talking reckless about my maxie poo. nope wont have it.
@michaboa, OK, I’m so glad you said it. You cannot just go willy nilly like that. Maxwell can’t sing? Please. The madness. must. stop.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
LOL, on the real. That mofo can sing. He just pushes himself too much which is why his falsetto falters at performances. His sweet voice can only take too much. But yes, I demand his name be retracted from the list as if it was never entered in the first place. lol
@Brotha Tech, I saw Maxwell, last August & he can SANG….how you gonna even mention him like that …my heart is hurt *runs from room in tears
@Brotha Tech,
“Robin Thicke”
Yeah, his falsetto hurts sometimes. But, I love him.
@Brotha Tech,
So glad you mentioned Jon B!! Not the best vocals, but definitely got the “soul crooner” thing happening for him. I’m a huge fan! He has R&B down to a science.
@Brotha Tech, speaking on Jon B…don’t you think he pissed right now. its sucks to be first sometimes right.
@jenifer daniels, yeah what happened to him? Cool Relax is STILL one of my go to CDs when I’m trying to set the mood
(runs to check Wikipedia)
Has has SIX albums? WTF?
@Dee, ugh, not quick enough on the edit..he has six album?
@Brotha Tech,
Okay I feel personally attacked by your mention of Robin Thicke and Maxwell.
I saw Maxwell last year and he was great!!! Every song awesome. Can’t wait to see him this go round. June 12th!!
I can almost see how you can say about robin but I love him and will not let you talk bad about him!
I take issue with Wanya not being able to sing, the rest I agree with. I’d add Mary J. Blige–although I believe she’s gotten better since she debuted. Janet Jackson–I was listenting to Pleasure Principle this morning and I realized as much as I loved this song and video, I have absolutely no idea what she’s saying. How does one manage to sing, yet whisper at the same time? R. Kelly, just because I hate him and everything he stands for. Plus, he’s not really that great a singer. And Wocka Flocka Flame. I know he’s not a singer, but his name alone disqualifies him from getting any respect from me. His fate if further sealed by the fact that his rhmying style sounds like the bastard child of the Yin Yang Twins and Master P. And speaking of rappers, 50 Cent, Soljah Boy and Jay Z should never sing. Ever. Everever.
@Trixie Trueheart, you know you hate somebody when they find a way into a post about singers and they havent sang an utterance in their lives re: wacka.
lol.
welcome and sh*t (i think)
good list but I like Carl Thomas, I think he can sing! okay, I like his first cd. everything after that sounds like the first CD–he’s victim of Jagged Edge disease but I still think he can sing. wait…maybe I just like the music. let me listen again!
and yes, I was one LOVING Ja Rule/Ashanti collabos. I absolutely cosign the rest of the list.
oh yeah…and 112
Slim…I’m looking at you bruh
@La Bakir,
“Slim…I’m looking at you bruh”
Speaking of, he needs to change his name nowadays.
@Cheekie,
Dayum you!!!! LMAO
Yeah Slim went to that Keith Sweat school of vocal training.
@Cheekie,
LMAO! Word…b/c son packed on a few
@Cheekie,
“Speaking of, he needs to change his name nowadays.”
LMBO! ….but yeah, he should.
@La Bakir,
“Slim…I’m looking at you bruh”
My lawd, that muhfukka Slim sounds like he’s hugging a cactus!!
Now I can’t his face (and whiny azz voice) out my head!
i will definitely add Brandy to this list.. EVERY TIME i hear her, i just wanna go “diaphragm!! SING LOUDER!!”
OH! and Toni Braxton.. i realize she’s got a deep voice.. but does that REALLY mean i won’t be able to hear you.. i don’t know what she’s saying until she hits the chorus..
that’s all i can remember right now..but i’m sure i’ll be back as the Pandora playlist moves along…
@Nick_L_Odeon`, girrllll bye, brandy and toni???? really
@michaboa, yes, really.. that’s just the way i see it… now, i realize that some people might like Toni Braxton because she came out at a time when we were all younger, and we love music that makes us feel nostalgic.. whether good or bad.. but if i sit back and think about it.. yeah, i REALLY hardly know what she’s sayin until the chorus.. and my speakers don’t go up that high..
@Nick_L_Odeon`,
c/s Brandy….can’t with Toni though
It always pissed me off that Moon Pie face got more shine than Monica, and Monica is more talented
@Nick_L_Odeon`, Uhn uhhhh… Brandy is ridiculous- the woman has control like nobody I know (i.e see Full Moon album) and TONI- hellOOOOOO “Unbreak my heart” son!- you trippin
@Yeah…SO!?!, Toni’s album Secrets is an absolute banger. Unbreak My Heart? How Could an Angel Break My Heart? I’m about to listen right now! she can sing.
@Yeah…SO!?!, i’m sorry.. i HATED “un-break my heart”
@Yeah…SO!?!,
Brandy is ridiculous- the woman has control like nobody I know
I was having this convo the other day… Brandy has a very nice, throaty and good voice… Too bad she doesn’t have the hips/butt/boobs or facial features to go with it… Le Sigh.
@Nick_L_Odeon`, I was gonna add Brandy–used to argue folks down about her vocals for years, but then she put out those vids of her sangin in the bathroom last year and my mind has OFFICIALLY CHANGED. check her out.
@Reecie, since you’re a music-lover..i’m gonna go and check it out.. HOWEVER, if it ain’t worth it, i’m gonna LET CHU KNOW!! lol..
@Reecie,
I need to check those out, too. I would be super surprised.
@Nick_L_Odeon`,
“OH! and Toni Braxton.. i realize she’s got a deep voice”
Sometimes she goes so deep, she’s actually just talking to be quite honest
@Nick_L_Odeon`, I gotta disagree with Toni, one of my favorites was from back in the day, Love should brought you home last night.
@Deeds, now.. is it the words (cuz we all can relate).. or the singing ?? because the words i can get behind..but the singing??.. ehhh…
Nobody beats Rihanna as The terrible singer period. Runner ups that I could think of are
1. Lumidee, (uh ooooh) Thank goodness she’s poofed be gone.
2.The tik-tok girl (Keisha)? Truth be told I cannot listen to her sing. I get ear infections and migraines.
3.Mario Winans SMH. Sad enough I think he believes he’s a good singer.
4.Miley Cyrus: you know I actually prefer her raspy “I’ve been smoking my cigs since I was in the womb” speaking voice than her singing one…
@T,
“2.The tik-tok girl (Keisha)? Truth be told I cannot listen to her sing. I get ear infections and migraines.”
This girl GRATES. Like a cheese cutter. I HATE how she pronounces her name. (keh-sha). I hate how she uses a dollar sign for the S. I hate how she thinks she’s thug life. And when she says, ta-ta-ta-talkin’ bout” on that “blah blah blah” song the kids are listening to these days, I want to punch a kitten… on a Sunday.
@Cheekie, ” I want to punch a kitten… on a Sunday.”
LMAO This needs to be a on a T-Shirt lol
@Cheekie,
I want to punch a kitten… on a Sunday.
NO one wants me to live today!!! LMAOO!!!
@La Bakir
I actually read all the previous comments (for the most part)
And how MJ, MJB, and Whitney made this list without anyone honoring….FANTASIA is beyond me!
She sounds like a cross between Little Richard and a old negro spiritual….just terrible!
This comment here? Is the truth! I’m still trying to figure out why “tasia is famous. She sounds like Patti LaBelle’s love child with all that damn screaming.
LaBakir thanks for setting my weekend off just right.
@meka,
This comment here? Is the truth! I’m still trying to figure out why “tasia is famous. She sounds like Patti LaBelle’s love child with all that damn screaming.
LaBakir thanks for setting my weekend off just right.
LMAO! You’re welcome Meka! You actually made me laugh out loud w/ the bolded
@meka,
Damn Meka, you stole my thunder! Fantasia, Aretha Franklin, and Patti LaBelle all sound the same and all sound like their idea of singing is the sound you make when your hand gets stuck in a blender. That sh*t is screaming, not singing!
@meka,
” I’m still trying to figure out why “tasia is famous. She sounds like Patti LaBelle’s love child with all that damn screaming.”
Maybe she screams because she can’t read?
@Humble_One,
*DEAD*
I hate you with the passion of passionfruit.
@Humble_One,
*crawls in coffin w/ Cheekie*
@Humble_One,
I don’t even know what to say to this. So I’m just gon laugh.
@meka,
“She sounds like Patti LaBelle’s love child with all that damn screaming.”
You know, I loved me some Tasia during AI, but I agree she OVERLY overdoes it with the screaming. I hate hearing her throat hang on for dear life. I hate wondering how bad she’s gonna need some lemons the next morning. Poor Tasia Throat. #freetasiasthroat
@meka,
Although I would never buy her CD, I would love to hear TASHIA sing at my church when the praise dancing is happening!! I would probably do a few laps around the congregation.
@meka, I completely agree Fantasia’s singing voice leaves quite a bit to be desired, however her speaking voice….Sweet Baby Jesus…I want to jump down her throat to see if I can find the issue and correct it…she sounds like Lil’ Magic from ‘In Living Color’ sans David Alan Grier as her momager….it’s all very sad.
@chicagochick,
You bet’not put that on Lil Magic. But you’re right. I watched one episode of Fantasia’s reality show and it was painful to hear that high pitched azz voice for 30 minutes.
Co-sign the entire list, except for Carl Thomas.
My great terrible singers:
Rihanna, of course. BEautiful girl, but i dont even wanna think about what she had to do to get that deal.
Keyshia Cole – Hollerin aint sangin”
Mary j – Shes definitely plateaued
Keith Sweat
All of New edition ( except Johnny)
Trey Songz – He isnt that bad a singer, but he tries way too hard to be sexy
702 – Did the other 2 chicks ever sing?
Total – They were TERRIBLE singers
T-Boz – Why did she do the most singin? I’ll also throw in…
Chili
Oh….and…..
Aretha Franklin – I just dont care for her voice at all, never have (runs for cover)
I could do this all day
@MsMeesh, MJB has improved tremendously. did you see her on the Haiti telethon?
@OrangeStar Happy Hunting,
Oh, yeah, don’t get me wrong, her voice has come a looooong way since her “whats the 411″ days, but its seen better days too.
Im a Mary fan, but she doesnt have a great voice. She did do a really good job on the telethon, though
@MsMeesh, as far as New Edition goes, Ricky mf’n Bell can sing. and I even think Bobby can to a bit before the drugs. On the Home Again cd (I guess he was using then but I dunno) he sings a couple verses that make me love him all over again.
Sorry I’m a NE stan, I had to go there. but yea Ralph, Mike and Ronnie–no bueno.
@Reecie,
Im a NE stan too, so it hurt me to write that. Ricky could sing, but his range wasn’t that great. Bobby could sing back then, but like Whitney, he left his voice on the other side of the pipe. I get a little sad when i hear him sing now, so much talent wasted. Dont Be Cruel was one of the greatest R&B albums.
@MsMeesh,
“All of New edition ( except Johnny)”
*taking my gloves off* WHAT??!?!
I won’t hear of this, I loves me some NE.
@miss t-lee,
LOL..I do too, but all them cats couldnt sing.
@MsMeesh,
*snickering*
I know, I hate to admit that.
@MsMeesh,
I don’t think the fact that you don’t care for her voice constitutes her not being able to sing… she sang Opera .. well She is a wonderful singer, dresser… different story, but singer… no.
@MsMeesh, Trey Songz – He isnt that bad a singer, but he tries way too hard to be sexy <— But this is a post about bad singers….so…ummmm…
@Yonnie3k,
And i did comment on his singing. Though its not that bad, it aint that good either. The rest was extra
Ahhh…..a subject after my own heart. I sing, study singers and write about singers and their music. (I’m apologizing now for getting carried away) So, here I go:
As for the VSB list, it is mostly accurate (outside of Carl Thomas, who can actually sing. I believe sometimes we get caught up into not liking a person’s image or musical content/lyrics; which makes us think negatively of that artist’s singing ability. I’m a victim as well because I despise R Kelly….always have. He has a decent (not good) singing voice, but the fact that he has lyrics such as “Like Two Gorillas in a Juuunnngggllllee…..Makin Love”……..I just can’t (really).
Not Singers (Laaaa….*ahem* Luahhh……Hold on, can I get some water?):
T Pain – regardless of his “rapper turnt sanger” slogan…..he isn’t. talented artist…yes.
Paula Abdul – she is a dancer who someone believed in
J Lo – she also is a dancer someone believed in
Ciara – just “no”
Masters of Voice Acrobatics (**Finger Holding One Ear** **Opposite hand moving up and down whilst twiddling fingers **):
Beyonce – has a very good singing voice, but she is trained to the point of being mechanical. Her lack of natural personality shows true in her singing as well (which is why “Listen” from Dreamgirls is probably the only song in her catalog that you can somewhat feel). Her lack of depth is overshadowed by her work ethic. She perfects every note and delivers runs that the average singer is unable to. Then she hands a heaping plate of “look how talented I am” to her fans.
Wanya – very talented singer…and he knows it! So just like Ole Bey above, he is dead set on proving it unnecessarily with overuse of runs.
Emotional Singers (“See Daddy?…..Sinners Got Soul Too!”):
Mary J Blige – plays her position. MJB knows that her vocal range is limited and she will lose pitch in a heartbeat, but she has found her niche (and received lots of vocal training) and has mastered it.
Keyshia Cole – admitted on her reality show that she could not sing falsetto (which let me know that she is limited vocally). But like MJB, she knows what she’s capable of and she sticks with that.
Crooners (Skee-dopple-dwee-dopple-dee…. Come and Be My Baby Tonight):
Dwele – (my favorite crooner) good voice, no tricks, some money notes but pretty even keel tone. Voice makes me melt nonetheless.
Musiq – See “Dwele”, but add master at hitting the “money note”
Vibrato Can Be Annoying (**humming whilst hitting throat**):
Trey Songz – after a while I want to choke myself
John Legend – (disclaimer: I LOVE Him and His Singing Voice…I Really Do!) but after so many songs, I want to slit my wrists. For me, I have to be in a “John Legend” mood to listen to his entire album in one sitting. If the iPod is on shuffle…I’m good.
CNote’s Examples of Great Singers (by no means is this a complete list….just examples):
Stevie Wonder – he can do damn near anything vocally with emotion and perfection
Donny Hathaway – voice has that “it” factor; no one else sounds like him.
Jazmine Sullivan – (seriously) take away singing about Lions, Tigers and Bears and her voice is phenomenal. Heard her sing on mix cd’s waaayy before she became popular.
OK, I will stop now. I know the reader’s brain can only take so much of this.
@CNotes,
“Trey Songz – after a while I want to choke myself”
Voice-wise, he ain’t all that but for some reason when he drops his voice a bit (like in the line, “my bed’s waiting there” in Invented Sex), I think it’s very dope and chexy.
@Cheekie, Trey Songz annoys the F*CK outta me.. like every time i hear that opening line “Who’s goin home with Trigga……” UUUGGGH i wanna shoot myself
@BKSweetheart,
lmfao!!! Which one-a-ya’lllll!
@Cheekie,
Yeah, he has moments. But, I heard him sing live (on TV of course) and it was a bit sheepish.
@CNotes, i can’t stand R.Kelly.. “12-play” will get a song in because it reminds me of high school.. but other than that..
as well as his lyrics.. *TRITE*.. i knew from the moment i heard “Fortunate” that i didn’t like it.. even before i knew R.Kelly wrote it.. if i wanted a school-house rock.. i’d watch tv on Saturday mornings (they don’t do that anymore , do they??)
@Nick_L_Odeon`,
The ONLY (and I mean ONLY) pass I give R. Kelly is Happy People and Step in the Name of Love. They feel good and work wonders at wedding receptions.
@CNotes, what about “I believe I can fly”?
I still love old Arruh so I’m really not one to talk about his his music, lol.
@Reecie,
As for “I believe I can fly”…..sorry to say, I think anyone else with a decent or better voice could have sang the song because the lyrics are what makes it powerful (not the Piper). But I don’t knock Arruh fans (love how you spelled it!)
@CNotes,
I am with you. I can.not.stand.this.dude at all!! Ugh. He friggin’ annoys the heck out of me… and by ricochet, all of his songs are now instant dislikes… even the old ones (except the ones you mentionned).
@CNotes, Crooners (Skee-dopple-dwee-dopple-dee…. Come and Be My Baby Tonight):
so mad David from Real World New Orleans gets his own section. LOL.
@Panama Jackson, so now the real ? is can David sing?
@Panama Jackson,
*chuckling* I HAD to! So comical to me that he really believed in his skibbity-bop. No matter how corny it was (and indeed it was), he owned that ish!
@CNotes, I will call/text my sister at random with that line. We die laughing every time. The funniest chit about it was when the roommates asked him how that song was related to the assignment they were supposed to do (showcase who they really were–for some job I think) he responded “everything you need to know about me is contained in that song.” DEAD!!!!! LOL
@Mo,
Just watching him sing with such a look of conviction on his face slayed me. I was like, “is he for real”? LOL
@CNotes,
I really, really appreciate your list. Because I can clearly see the separation between I like it and It’s good. Good job.
And this sentence about Beyonce is spot-on:
Her lack of depth is overshadowed by her work ethic.
The girl has an astounding work ethic!
(and I heart Dwele something fierce!
)
@Sula,
Thank ya! Yes, Bey is a worker Bee when it comes to her craft. Overall I respect her, but I like to feel my music.
Oh, and Dwele’s new album drops June 29th. : )
@CNotes,
Oh, and Dwele’s new album drops June 29th. : )
Word? Well, thankyakindly!
@CNotes,
eh…as much as I love him….I don’t think Stevie Wonder has a great voice at all. Similar to A. Keys, his piano and song writing abilities hold him afloat. JMO.
@La Bakir,
*tapping fingers* Hmmm….interesting. Who (IYO) has a great voice?
@CNotes,
Marvin Gaye…Curtis Mayfield…
@La Bakir,
Ok, now I see your style preference. Yes, both have excellent voices. (I’m a huge Marvin fan!)
@CNotes,
Girl bye! I love me some Marvin! Can’t wait to get another book about him. That’s my dead crush,lol
@La Bakir,
LOL @ dead crush. : ) Yeah, He epitomized sexy (voice and image). *staring into space picturing him*
@La Bakir,
I hate when Stevie does the deep voice thing/cartoon character voice as the bridge comes up in “As”.
“3. T-Pain
Has anybody actually heard his real singing voice?”
I have, and me no likey. In fact, I used to have this severe disdain when it came to T-Pain (*beatbox*). I HATED his song “I’m Sprung”. All those do-do-do-dooooos gave me an ear stroke it was so annoying. I was anti-Tpain everythang (*drops mic*). But then Buy you a Drank came out? Yeah, I couldn’t stay away from that. Love that song.
“4. Carl Thomas
Carl Thomas is the posterboy, mascot, and CEO for great terrible singers. He somehow duped an entire legion of diehard fans into thinking that “Summer Rain” was a good song and that it’s okay to be a b*tch a** ninja (“Emotional”). I’ve had full blown arguments with women people trying to convince me that he can sing. He cannot. ”
I love me some Carl Thomas but he DOES have that “straining” voice. I’m always clowning him (let it rain on MEEEEE!), but I still love him. I don’t dig when people strain their voice when they hit a high note. And yeah, I know you don’t like when I say this my Panda, but it’s the same problem I have with Beyonce. She is swindlin’ folks with her hollerin masked as singing. When she hits a high note that is too high for her and her stilettos (aka out her range) you can hear the strain in her voice and folks be whoopin and hollerin like she killed it. I be like, “O____O”. Up your standards, ninjas! Her voice is “cute”, but sang she cannot. Word. Death.
@Cheekie, thank you for the co-sign on Beyonce.. i was catchin HEAT for mentioning her name..
they were on me like Matthew Knowles cuts royalty checks..
@Cheekie, just curious as to when Panda actually become a nickname folks really used for me?!?!? LMAO.
@Panama Jackson,
I have no idea who — and am DYING to give credit where it’s due because I love givin’ props to those deserving — but I swiped it from the comment section and loved it ever since.
@Cheekie,
Anybody remember Case? That low-budget Jodeci soundalike… nobody noticed he dated Mary J Blige for .3 seconds. I did like I’m missing you tho….lol.
@RocktheCatbox,
Of course I remember Case. He was here last year at a lil’ hood spot club, he sung all four of his “hits” and bounced.
It was hilarious.
@miss t-lee,
“Of course I remember Case. He was here last year at a lil’ hood spot club, he sung all four of his “hits” and bounced.
It was hilarious.”
This was funny as h#ll and kinda sad, all rolled up into one faded picture (I’m sorry…couldn’t resist)
@miss t-lee,
*dying @ this scenario*
Like, he sung for like 10 minutes and then was like, “Whoop, gotta go” a la Color Purple.
@ DG,
Great pun!
@Cheekie,
It really was like that scene in Color Purple, he got his money, sung his hits, and peaced out!
@RocktheCatbox, yup and I remember when Beyonce was in his video.
@RocktheCatbox,
Girl, I STILL bump “touch me tease me”. lmfao
Yeah, I remember him dating Mary with the quickness.
@Cheekie, Yes…John Legend. His songs all sound alike ’cause he only sings in one note. It’s just whether that note is whispery or nasally.
I can no longer listen to his music. It works me last nerve!
@Cheekie,
“Girl, I STILL bump “touch me tease me”. lmfao
Yeah, I remember him dating Mary with the quickness.”
^Yeah, with Foxxy rappin’ on it!
i just want to preface my comment with some to the people on my list i really love but i have to honest…now im a commenter and im sensitive about my….
pattie labelle
diana ross
shirley caesar (i maybe going to hell for this one but i have to be honest)
toni braxton
mya
ne-yo
alicia keys
erykah badu
john legend
kelly rowland
all the other girls in the pushycat dolls
thats all
@thatchic,
I guess the real question for you should be, exactly who CAN sing in your book? Because it has to be a sin to have Auntie Patti on your list. And Badu. And Auntie Shirley. And big hair don’t care Ross.
@V Renee,
I repeat the above question.
I am so upset that you said Cookie Monster cant sing and then compare him to the likes of JaRule… for real? that is an offense to Cookie Monster
@Intellectual Hedonist,
JaRule is the version of Cookie Monster on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
ya’ll have left Rapheal Saadiq (and Tony Toni Tone) for that matter off of this list. i’on get it.
@jenifer daniels,
I’m a Saadiq fan. I think he’s an allaround good artist though.
@CNotes,
Agreed.
@CNotes,
Same.
@Cheekie, Right. Raphael’s voice is beautiful!!!!!!!
Late addition to the list:
Kirk Franklin.
Keyshia Cole is famous to me for two reasons, and all the men know it’s for that odd gap she used to have around that first album and those large mammaries of hers. Ugh, “Love” ruined many a night for me – heard that screeching puppy at least five times at its peak.
Kelis. ’nuff said.
Surprised nobody here has said Kid Cudi yet. I know through that entire album I was shaking my head at how good it was but how TERRIBLE a singer he was.
And Nelly should be numero uno on this list. His entire flow is nothing but sing-songy!
@Brando,
Kelis. ’nuff said.
She’s only popular because the Neptunes (and being odd).
@CNotes,
I tried to listen to her latest track “Acapella” and it was so nasal that I bailed out 45 seconds in.
@miss t-lee,
Same for me (I couldn’t/wouldn’t listen to the whole thing). Her first album, Kaleidoscope, is the only one that was pretty good. But again, it was mostly because of the production (not her voice).
@Brando,
Kelis. *sigh*
I know but I love her! Always have.
@Made In Hawaii,
Me too! (see? I said the artists I like are of the “different” breed….)
@Brando,
“Kirk Franklin”
Wait, he sings? I only remember him narrating the songs while shuckin and jivin on the stage…
@Cheekie,
LMAO! @ narrating the songs while shuckin and jivin
@Cheekie, Nah, actually he doesn’t sing. He writes the songs and does his P.Diddy adlib thing.
@La Bakir,
lol @ Diddy adlib. Bad boy baby.
But yeah, that’s the Kirk I know. I was gonna say…
Thought I was missin’ out on somethin! lol
@Brando, I saw Kelis live once on accident (was there to see Jill and Erykah at the Sugarwater Festival – didn’t know Kelis was gonna be there) and she was awesome live. I don’t own any of her albums, but based on seeing her live, I’m gonna say she can sing.
I put Cudi in the same category as Mos Def, Ja Rule, and Drake. I don’t think any of them are really tryna sang-sang. Moreso just harmonize (as someone so eloquently defined further upthread).
this was a great friday post! its 11:45am and i’ve done 1 invoice and replied to 1 email. AWESOME! (i also rolled in about 10am..soo..)
i think this boils down to a few things:
a) personal taste (obviously, beauty is in the eye of the beholder)
b) era. because in today’s music as pj says – you dont need the same amount of talent to sell records. the music isnt about the music its about the package. i always find it amusing that contestants on AI have to show all sorts of range and sh*t, but when they win, they have to totally change and rearrange so that they are considered ‘sellable’. Carrie Underwood is exempted from this.
c) type of music. pop music is about catchy tunes that carry wide appeal, soul should have just that – soul. and convey soul. and sound like someone’s soul. and look soulful. there are only a handful of artists these days that do SOUL music.
d) gender. we have different standards for males vs females.
e) culture. jennifer hudson got scratched from AI early (and tasered by Simon) because she sang too loudly/wide, but to black people, that’s just how we do. we go HOIRD (esp if you come from church background).
at the end of the day, wu-tang had it right – it’s all about the C.R.E.A.M.
if it was about the talent..well.. we wouldn’t be subjected to the horrificness that is (fill in your own blank here).
carry on..
@Keisha Brown,
I was watching AI the other night when Rihanna was on and I noticed something funny. About 80% of the time, the special guest performer and mentors would have never actually made it on the show as contestants (Rihanna, Usher, Miley Cyrus, etc). WTF, Rihanna wouldnt have made it past the parking lot audition.
The judges are full of sh*t, too
@Keisha Brown, How is the standard different for males and females? There are artists of both genders that are terrible singers. A lot of them regardless of gender can entertain, but necessarily have great voice.
haha my ipod on shuffle just played Always on Time ~ Ja & Ashanti. haven’t listened to this since last year? shoutout to the VSBs and VSSs for making this possible. LOL
Did anyone mention Omarion and Ray J? I wanna hand both those dudes a Claritin and a jar of Vicks everytime i hear them sing.
@MsMeesh, Ray J is the worst. I guess he figured since his sister could do it he should too.
@Deeds,
He figured wrong..LOL
If anyone says Beyonce can’t sing, then I have to question his/her judgments and decisions in life. Moving on…
Mary J. – She’s gotten better over the years, but hearing her sing live is like hearing a bad church solo.
Ciara – They let this chick sing an MJ ballad. I’m still upset about that. You let Ciara sing an MJ ballad? Really? I think she hit a couple of A crooked’s and Z flats in the process.
Amerie – looks: great. singing: que horrible!
Ashanti – never met a “baby” run she didn’t like. in fact, if “baby” was FG Attempts, she’d be Kobe MF’in Bryant or Allen “Larry Holmes” Iverson
@SouthernCharm,
“Ashanti – never met a “baby” run she didn’t like. in fact, if “baby” was FG Attempts, she’d be Kobe MF’in Bryant or Allen “Larry Holmes” Iverson”
I’ll take that “baby” and raise you “bananas”.
@Humble_One, omg! i use to hate to hear her say that! she was required to say it at least 25 times in each interview!
sorry i just remembered another screamin crazy wannabe r & b singer so i’ll just eff a bunch of brothas and do that Joss Stone, no?
Great Terrible Singer:
Chris Martin.
I love Coldplay w/ all of my ♥ but my boy Chris struggles immensely.
@Humble_One
Maybe she screams because she can’t read?
Ya’ll are in rare form today! LMAO!
Did someone mention Christina Milian yet?
If not, then here she is…
So. . . for anyone that knows me they know that if I were ever going to “try” the female persuasion it would be with my boo- Rihanna. . I mean the woman is damn fine. Maybe that is why I think her voice is great! Trust me I am not into women- just Rihanna (drum roll for preceding comments)
and excuse me. . . you forgot-
LIL WAYNE.
Gucci Mane.
they both will have some quality time to sit and think about the idea of expanding the spectrum of their vocabulary for about a year!!! LOL! fools.
The list goes on…
Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams & Lloyd.
To me you can’t call Black music, Black music without having soul…
98% of the singers are overly commercialized garbage that worry too much about $$$ than art. I guess society is to blame though. It’s economics. Supply and demand. Crap is what they buy, so crap they shall get.
I am not a big “voice” fan, or else I would have liked opera, which I don’t… so this talk of who can sang or who can’t sing usually goes over my head… I like music which I consider good music or I don’t like music I consider not good (to my ears that is)…. I realize that most of the artists I like have “different” voices… I think the world of RnB generally eludes me… All that to say, well, I’ll be reading y’all…. carry on.
I think im the only person who would throw Lloyd on this list. I can’t stand his a$$. a few others as well…
Robin Thicke–yea i said it.
Marques Houston–My hatred for this guy is beyond comprehension
@Freaknik, oooh I love me some Lloyd. he’s nasally but I love him. I reckon if The Dream is on these lists then he can be too though
*pop locks to Get it Shawty*
@Freaknik,
Nah, I hate Lloyd’s voice. But I try to keep him off my radar so I failed to add him. Ol’ sissy arse ninja.
@Freaknik, thank YOU!!! Robin Thicke cannot sing! Not even for a white boy doin’ R&B, sorry. He sucks.
@Freaknik,
I can understand if folks don’t like Lloyd’s voice, but he has breath control. I saw him sing “Get It Shawty” while doing aerobic dances and he had stamina. I could atleast respect that.
Nobody has mentioned Montell Jordan or Babyface!!! No one!!!
@Digga,
LOL @ the mention of Montell Jordan. “Gotta Get Cha Groove On!” *Hee Hee*
@CNotes,
LOL! Everytime- this is what comes to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BDFmpra68M
@Made In Hawaii,
LMAO!!! That episode made me pull that line out for this post. (I’m a Martin fanatic). I don’t know why its so funny to me, but it is!! *singing loud* “Gotta Get Your Groove On”!!!!!
@CNotes, lmao…remember when Martin kept saying that on one of his bloopers?! hilarious!
@thatchick,
Yep! Even Tommy and Pam got in on singing it! You can tell that was the running joke for their work day.
@Digga,
“Nobody has mentioned Montell Jordan or Babyface!!! No one!!!”
They’re used to it.
I’m surprised no one said Janet. Excellent entertainer; but not a vocalist. She perfected this part of the industry. I also didn’t think Slim from 112 was a vocalist either. Unique voice doesn’t qualify for talented. Probably why that solo gig didn’t last, huh. JMO of course. Totally agree on the list. Totally disagree on the Beyonce and Trey Songz opinions, but hey.
MJB has improved ALOT Mary sangs now…..
Did anyone mention Alicia Straining like a mofo off note Keys.
Just making sure and Amerie’s first Cd is/was dope!
She is no Phyllis Hyman but I like her vocal styings, the urgency etc.
Musiq is new new millennium Keith Sweat. Really…he CANNOT sing. He has catchy songs, just like Keith Sweat. He has built a career on well timed songs and well time album release times. It’s like just when you thought no one would put out a summer jam, he comes out with a tune and you find yourself conceding that it may not be so bad after all. But, honestly, that man cannot sing. Him and KS have the LOCK on the nasal sound.
@Mo, I have never been the biggest Musiq Soulchild fan but when I heard his remake of Reasons for the EWF tribute cd I became more of a fan. He did it MUCH justice, and that’s my favorite EWF song.
@Reecie, Yeah, I mean that’s just it. He does like one song good/performance/hit and we all fall for it. I remember his first song…it sounded like a 5 year old wrote it and sang it. HA! I’m not hating, I just don’t like it.
I know somebody must have said Keith Sweat with his whining arse. I couldn’t stand his singing back in da day and I damn sure wouldn’t want to hear them now.
Just stumbled onto VSB last night, read a few of the posts and some of the comments and now this one – you all are hilarious!
VSB’ll definitely be on my daily reading route – just gotta make sure I start earlier cause wakin up to 200+ comments and tryna catch up is stressful as hell, LOL
Sooo let’s not forget the newest member in this long line of non-talent: Kiely of 3LW/Cheetah Girl fame…I haven’t heard her hot mess of a song or watched the video (I absolutely refuse) but I here it’s Spectacular
There used to be a balance between performers who could give a hell of a show by just singing (while basically standing still) and those who can’t sing that well but are good performers (semi-singing/dancing). So you didn’t really mind the latter too much but that balance is gone, like someone said above it’s all about economics, somebody is buying the crap, requesting it on the radio, watching the videos, downloading it etc. so it’s what they are gonna keep giving us.
I suspect kids (via their parents $) are the biggest consumers of the crap, I don’t think adults buy as much of it but they also don’t purchase quality modern music…I know I am guilty of complaining about the nonsense that’s put out but instead of actively supporting artists that can actually sing and/or rap and do so about things other than money, drugs and hoes I am more likely to buy/download
So I guess I should start putting some money into some of the newer artists that actually have singing talent not to mention they usually have a more positive message to go along with their talent.
Go ahead and throw Keyshia Cole on that list. Listen to “Love” and tell me she doesn’t sound like Tarzan.
just to add a few:
P!nk – i swear i can see the cigarette smoke coming out her mouth as she yells at me for no reason
Jonas Brothers – i can’t stand them. period. they should be put in timeout for whining like that all time
We Are The World “Remake” – 75 of the 1000+ people on that song should never have been invited..justin beiber started off..ur first clue to turn away, turn away now….plus the randomness of actors… and worst of all, how dare they have lil’ wayne singing? singing?
@sweetbee, now wait now sweetbee…p!nk can blow…i mean the girl can blow! she rocked moulin rouge : )
exit stage left mya…
@thatchick,
exactly my point..she’s blowing all that smoke at me. her voice never stops cracking especially when she’s trying to “belt out” a note. at least mya has some nice tone to her voice
@thatchick,
Cosign on Pink (she can actually sing).
@Elle — This would be the part where I would defend Keyshia Cole since she’s from Ohio and engaged to one of the Cavs…
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sorry, I am drawing a blank. You’re right after all.
No Amy Crackhouse? Really..?
If this was a Vh1 100 great n’ terrible countdown special she would SURELY be in the top 5
John Legend cnat sing. Rihanna is terrible. It drives me crazy that Rihanna gets 1000x times the airplay of Jazmine Sullivan
LOL and Cosign.
Especially cosigning on Rihanna. My friend tried to argue me down and tell me that girl can sing, talking about “she’s throaty”. Nah, that b*** sounds like she’s choking on a ricola while suffering from strep.
Although I feel she’s markedly improved over the years, Keisha Cole belongs at the top of this list.
Forgot to mention Alicia Keys. Sometimes I just have to turn her OFF. Diary is her only song that the radio didn’t have to beat me into submission to like. Everything else had to grow on me. SIDEBAR: Any rendition of Fallen makes me want to jump out of a window and slit my wrists on the way down.
PLEASURE P!! I honestly love him, but he cannot sing, he’s really terrible, along with Pretty Ricky. Love him, but he really doesn’t have a good voice.