Let’s talk about Paula Deen for a second, mmkay?
Over this past weekend, I’ve had no less than seven conversations about Paula Deen. They’ve ranged from “Paula Deen is the most racist white woman since Jessica Rabbit” to “Paula Deen is a product of her environment which was filled with a bunch of Black men in tuxedos”.
Oh, and, you can blame my environment but that ain’t the reason why I be buying expensive chains. Hold my mule.
There really seem to be two camps in the Paula Deen Jolly Nword Bank Fiasco of 2013. There is the camp that actually read the deposition (you really should read the deposition) and while proclaiming that she may be racist, though she is not nearly as bad as she’s being made out to be as a person. Then there’s the camp that’s heard everything second hand and has determined that its very likely that Paula Deen hired a bunch of actual monkeys to midwife her second cousin’s maid of honors daughter’s delivery because monkeys are better than n*ggas at all costs, but only n*ggas know how to have children. Or something.
A third camp does exist of people who both love and hate Paula Deen at the same time. I’m part of this camp because her clearly racist leanings do amuse me so. Just today, Damon informed that allegedly, Paula attempted to pay off some of her Black employees in beer and liquor. Upon reading the actual story, I felt like its entirely possible that this piece is completely exaggerated and/or made up…but because Paula is involved here and did say, outloud, that one of her employees was “black as that board” THEN attempted to prove this to a group of people, well, anything seems possible. Yes, Paula Deen MAY have reached Ron Artest levels of possibility.
Or more accurately, Paula Deen is the Bo Jackson of racist possibility.
AND I THINK
BRICK PAULA DEEN KILLED A GUY.
Have you seen the Bo Jackson 30 for 30 ESPN special? It starts out with a quote that states, “when the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” The first 10 minutes of the documentary are about the stories people heard about Bo Jackson, not whether they were true or not, but because of what people HAD seen Bo do, nothing seemed impossible. Bo Jackson was romance…he was all about the possibility. Word to Darius Lovehall.
Well, I think Paula Deen may have reached this point. No matter how unfantastic some of the allegations are, somehow they get distorted and turned into the stuff of legend. The fact that a man named Bubba factors prominently into this issue is also not lost on me. Based on the conversations I’ve had this past weekend, if even HALF the stuff that was said is even 25 percent true, Paula Deen definitely doesn’t care about Black people. Hell, in the same video where she referred to her servant Hollis as blacker than the board, she refused to ever refer to slaves as, ya know, slaves. They were apparently all on payroll or something.
Funny thing is that I have no doubt that she’ll bounce back. So Black folks don’t rock with her publicly. Whoopty do. It ain’t like y’all gon’ STOP using the recipes that you’ve been using for years. Maybe you’ll cut back on the butter. Good job, you’ll now die 2 years later. It’s for this reason that I’m glad she FINALLY made the smart move of blowing off The View though she’s apparently going on with Matt Lauer on Wednesday. Thing is, would you be surprised if she called Matt Lauer a n*gger JUST to prove that she’s not racist and calls EVERYBODY that?
See? It doesn’t seem far fetched does it? Herschel Walker. Bo Jack.
LIKE WHY IS THIS A THING? Fox News Hires Paula Deen To Host Plantation-Themed Morning Show!!
So let me ask you all, is Paula Deen getting railroaded or does she deserve everything that’s coming regardless of when any of it may have happened? Is there any other circumstance where the possibility of something trumped the reality of it in your recollection? Hell, do you believe all of the stories now? What’s your Paula Deen opinion?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIS aka MR. 8 STICKS OF BUTTER aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3