Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Panama And The Champ Have A Long Chat About Street Harassment

NYC Street Harassment

Panama: So, street harassment has been getting a lot of traction as of late. There are panels, discussions, shouting matches (which may or may not actually constitute street harassment depending on if the man is louder methinks), Twitter town halls, Twitter shouting matches (“tweet harassment” perhaps?…), etc. Basically, the conversation about men making women feel uncomfortable has reached a critical mass. To wit, the definition according to StopStreetHarassment.org is:  any action or comment between strangers in public places that is disrespectful, unwelcome, threatening and/or harassing and is motivated by gender or sexual orientation. 

In its simplest form, basically men need to stop talking to women unless women say something first. Hmm…if I say “smile sister!” and I’m smiling at the same time, is that harassment? I’m really curious about this. What’s your take on it?

Damon: I took part in a HuffPo live segment about street harassment last week. The producers reached out to me because of a piece I wrote for EBONY (“I Stopped Telling Women to Smile“), and I was the lone male voice with three women—including Tatyana Fazlalizadeh. Because of the show’s format, I didn’t get much of a chance to speak. But, when I did, I offered some background about what prompted me to write the EBONY piece.

That said, I am a bit ambivalent about some of the articles and discussions about this movement. No one—well, no one in their right mind—would deny that random shouts, catcalls, and insults do occur and can make women feel violated and even physically threatened. Also, this type of behavior can escalate.  I’ve heard stories from numerous women about them politely declining a man’s “invitation,” and that “invitation” quickly turning into an insult or even violence.  
 
But, some of this conversation has gone as far as saying that men should never do a “cold approach”—basically, unless a woman has made it clear she’s interested in being approached, he shouldn’t say a word—and I don’t agree with that. I think we (men) can stand to be a bit smarter and more considerate with how we approach women we’re romantically interested in, but we do still have to approach. And, sometimes these approaches may happen while on the bus, or at the gas station, or on the street. 
 

You know, I do think most men understand the difference between considerate approach and harassment, and most women know the difference as well. But, it seems like the tone and tenor of this conversation is being set by people on opposite ends of the spectrum: women who seem to consider all unsolicited male attention to be harassment, and men who say things like “Man, if I can’t give random females compliments on their tiddies, how is the human race gonna survive??? They should be happy I even took the time to notice they asses!”

PanamaI think that you may be right. It probably is mostly the fringe element that’s driving the majority of the conversation, as the Internet is largely responsible for. I mean, if you let the Internet and FOX News tell it, well…don’t let them tell anything. I think men could be a lot smarter and less icky when talking to women on the street. I just don’t know if we’re supposed to stop talking altogether. Like can I say, “hello beautiful”? Or is that like borderline. Perhaps its like backhanded harassment…on the street. And to be fair, I agree. I’m not trying to trivialize the movement. I’ve seen and heard some pretty atrocious things said to women who were doing nothing more than existing. That’s not nice. And the guys who managed to do so clearly were pretty disgusting people. I guess, my curiosity about it is more of, like, would women prefer (I realize I’m asking a man) for nobody to ever say anything? Is positive stuff okay? Hell, I’m afraid that if I say hello to a woman and say she’s beautiful I may get like, hit with the street harassment whistle or something. Wait, is there a street harassment whistle? If not there probably should be one.

Damon: I know women who carry whistles. And mace. And tasers. And tiny dogs that shit in their purses. I also know a woman who showed me how she holds her keys when she’s walking somewhere alone at night so that they form a de facto knife. 

I don’t know any men that carry those types of weapons. (Or purse-shitting dogs.) And, while I’m aware many men carry guns, I don’t know—well, I don’t think I know—any who do. I also don’t feel compelled to go to the bathroom in groups, I don’t think twice about taking my eye off of my drink if I’m sitting at a bar, and I’ve never intentionally made sure to wear more conservative clothes so I got less unprompted attention from the opposite sex when catching the train to work.

I’m bringing this up because we (men) have a tendency to downplay or just completely ignore the fact that while the world is a dangerous place for all of us, it’s even more dangerous for women. It’s almost like how (some) White people will downplay or completely ignore the effect racial profiling can have on us.

Also, we have to be real with ourselves. I seriously doubt any woman you say hello to is going to blow the harassment whistle on you, and I seriously doubt you believe that too. It feels like the internet-based pushback or even ambivalence about this movement from men is based on semantics. We (men who read and shit) know how to act around women, know what harassment is, and aren’t going to have our off-line interactions with women affected by this at all.

I will say one thing though: I don’t think it’s a good idea to ask women how they prefer to be approached. Aside from shit that goes without saying—i.e. “don’t grab my ear,” “don’t have breath that smells like Newark”—if you ask 10 women that question, you’re likely to get 10 different answers.

Plus, no one—women, men, Gucci Mane—knows what they want, anyway. Seriously, sometimes it seems like life is nothing but a quest to learn exactly what you don’t want. And, when you finally do figure out what you want, you die.

Basically, life is like a very eclectic hood strip club.

Panama: Damon, sir. Mr. Champ. I do believe we’ve got some growth there. I sense the empathy and attempt at understanding the other side. I’d shed a tear if I hadn’t already let the song cry. So  yeah, you’re right. Women have to deal with an entirely different set of circumstances than we do. I have a daughter and I’m already scared about what’s possibly happening to her when I’m not around. So I see your point. Ladies….I get it.

On another note, I disagree about asking women how they want to be approached. Hell, that’s the only way to get data and find a middle ground. So what you get 10 different answers; I guarantee that they’ll all be at least “okay” and won’t include the words, “hey redbone, let me bust it wide open” or “how about you do something strange for a little piece of change” or “I got your tuition in my wallet, guh…twerk something”. Or my current favorite that has yet to work…”guh…I know you want this dih!” Not that I’ve actually tried it. Nope. Not even twice.

So for me, I would be curious as to how women would like men to approach them ideally. I feel like we’d get a mix of grand sweeping gestures and scenes from Belly. Really though, it would probably look like Love Jones. Here’s a stick in the mud, Darius Lovehall, the patron saint of Black romance was a real life stalker. Like an actual one. That isn’t street harassment, that’s a felony. But I’ll bet some women would find that charming. So to quote poet laureate and philosopher king, Tyrese, what am I gonna do?

Damon: Yeah, Darius definitely did some arrestable shit in that movie. That nigga just showed up at her door…after getting her address from a receipt…and after being told by her that she wasn’t interested, but he’s the Black patron paragon of coitus procurement??? It has to be the baby hair.

And, the reason why I don’t think asking about approach best practices is useful is that they’re too variable and arbitrary. Lemme put it this way: What Jane says is the best way to approach her (“Just say hi and make me laugh”) might not work when Jack tries it. But, later that night, Jim gets Jane’s number, and all he did was nod in her direction. (It was a “sexy” nod, according to Jane, but just a nod nonetheless.)

Oh, and let the song cry on deez.

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • I don’t know what is the best way to approach a woman but I personally enjoy men who call me “Queen”. I’d be hard pressed to give you a hard time if you call me a Queen and wax poetic about how I remind you of the mother land.

    • DG

      You can’t call a woman “Queen” without having a backpack full of oils that you trying to sell to her…maybe a lil’ Nag Champa thrown in for the full effect…

      • Val

        And you must be wearing a kufi and have beads around your neck.

        • DG

          …And cowrie shells…gotta be some cowrie shells somewhere in the vicinity.

          • There must be some earth toned clothes and a tattered Bob Marley tee somewhere in this scenario for it to be true.

        • SuperStrings

          “I’m sicka n!ggas lookin’ bych tryna read poems/then try to battle me wit sandals and capris on/come on dawg” -Phonte

      • Oshun

        @DG,
        Agreed. But why do some if not most, of these dudes that be queening women be looking like Jesus handed them the cross while walking up that mountain to be crucified. Missing teeth, unkempt dreadlocks, unlotioned hands, long nails that are brown due to cigarrete stains, bloodshot eyes. ….

        • Obsidian Files

          Oshun,
          You are confirming what I’ve said in my commentary – that, to the extent street harassment is an issue, is more of a commentary on race and class as it relates to Men, more than anything else; those who offend tend to come from the lower end of the SES scale.

          Now – I wonder what manner of “social justice” could we apply to that state of affairs…?

          O.

      • Nope, all he needs is a bean pie…

        *swoons and thinks about the man who gave me a bean pie and told me who evil white men are*

        • Val

          I could go for a nice cool bean pie slice right about now.

      • WIP

        If a guy calls me queen or sister, I assume he’s selling something.

    • Oshun

      Jesus, AP! Say what now? I HATE that word, queen. It’s so used, abused, and needs to be retired. It has lost its glory and jeneskwa.

      • *shrug* I don’t think it’s used enough. I get a tingle in my lower back when it’s directed towards me. Maybe people call you Queen often, I don’t hear it enough.

        • Oshun

          Dang. Well if it has that kind of affect on you, imma let them finish…

    • queen just doesnt fit my steez, it just makes me sound like a douche….or wale.

      • I agree, Tristan. For me “Queen” reeks of trying a little hard. It’s like dudes who keep calling you “brother” all of the time. Can’t trust it.

        • BreezyX2

          *nods head* Yup!

    • Todd

      My Black Nubian Queen…Ain’t no naan ninja! ;-)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCGV4MV5J2M

    • Freebird

      queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen

      • *flips hair*

        Hay boo ;-)

        • Freebird

          *flips hair*

          Hay boo ;-)

          for some of us, sometimes that is all a ninja needs.

          * leaves with chest out to go save the world.*

    • Shamira

      Really? Cuz the 5 Percenters round NYC do the most with that Queen stuff

      “Oh my beautiful nubian Queen,
      I saw you round the way with with my third eye (points to forehead),
      And I just had to approach you my Nefertiti Goddess,
      Do you overstand this math I’m providing you?”

      • Yoles

        don’t forget “ebony empress”
        those dudes make me laugh… next are the nubian islamic israelites (once they stop screaming at other passerby’s) with their offerings of marriage and taking you back to the commune in georgia

        • Shamira

          Randomly enough there is a strong portion of black orthodx jews in my neighborhood. I give em a screwface everytime they pass by me lol

        • Shamira

          “ebony empress”

          AND its always paired with someone non-ebony, like Cleopatra. Like, bruh, do you know your history?

      • Rachmo

        DEAD

      • SuperStrings

        Made me think of “n!ggas wit dread, call theyself gods, wit white girls names Caitlin”

      • I eat that all up too. This poet reeled me right in with those lines and then some.

        • Yoles

          Noooooooo say it aint so AP… i guess you would love NYC…

        • Shamira

          you need to move to Philly then, lol. Beanie hats and scented oils everywhere. You like beards?

          • Yoles

            i LOVE going to philly just for the beards… yum..yum..yum

          • I AM BEARD GANG FOR LIFE!

            Lead me to the promised landdddddddd

          • Rachmo

            I used to live in South Philly. So..many…beards…yes

            • Shamira

              Man…a nice beard is the business. But only if its on the softer side. Making out with a super scratchy beard can be very irritating to the skin, especially since facial skin is more sensitive.

              …or so ive heard. from friends.

              • Rachmo

                Omg when men have soft beards…JESUS I CANNOT DEAL! I’m at work let me get myself together.

                • Todd

                  *Googles facial hair conditioner*

                  • Rachmo

                    I approve this message

          • Vanity in Peril

            I live in Philly and ashy dique onk wearing dudes are in triplicate in every school house, lakehouse and outhouse from here to Delaware.

        • Shamira

          ive been sucked in once or twice, but mostly cuz I was in a phase when i was REALLY into locs, and theres a pretty high correlation between locs and those kinda guys. But I can only do so many spoken word shows…

      • T.Q. Fuego

        “I saw you round the way with with my third eye (points to forehead)”

        #flatlined #resurrectmeplease #lmao

  • Tia_Sunny

    I do get on guard when I walk pass these apartments where these want to ne thugs live I do feel I could handle myself because I am not a petite woman but I remember one yelled out fuck for free to another one that just came up telling me his life story. As if intercourse of any kind would happen.

    • Agatha Guilluame

      Well Obsidian seems to think that a woman who isn’t petite wouldn’t bat an eyelash at the sight of dudes on the corner…I guess he missed your post.

      • Tia_Sunny

        Well I need to know his definition of petite and what is not petite.

  • Msdebbs

    Men should approach women the same way they’d want a man to approach their mother. Fellas the simplest approach is the best one. No game or cheesy one liners just be nice.

    • but like my day just wouldnt feel complete if i didnt find out your name tho

      • LMNOP

        You can ask women’s names though. Especially with glasses on.

  • Msdebbs

    I’ve done all types of goofy things to avoid getting cat called. Pretended to talk on the phone ( didn’t work) dig thru my purse ( didn’t work) I even put on the angriest I could and that didn’t work either. Some men are just relentless no matter what.

    • Sahel

      Power of the P

  • jazzyLia

    I read an article once that basically said that men can get away with cat-calling, and / or objectifying women as long as the women deemed the man attractive. I’ve seen a woman get “creeped out” over a guy saying good morning and giving a sincere compliment bc she thought he was “ugly”, then 20 mins later giggling like a school girl over the dude who hollered and made a comment about her azz being too phat because he was fine. How many times has someone on this blog said “Denzel/ Idris/ Channing/ Shia can do whatever they want bc he is foine…”?

    • Sahel

      You wont get an actual answer to this mate,so forget it

    • accountability….it dont live here…anymore *alicia keys with the braids voice*

    • Todd

      EXACTLY! What is the last track on Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic”? Because it’s oh so true in my experience…*smh*

    • I think there’s two parts to this

      1. I think people push this point to dismiss the very real experiences women have with street harassment and ignore the women who do NOT behave in this way. For some of us, a man could look like the finest piece of chocolate on the shelf, but when he opens his mouth on some “Damn bitch, that ass needs to be on my face”, he becomes the ugliest piece of shit on a sidewalk.

      2. Women play into their own oppression every day. It’s called patriarchy and it ain’t just for men. There are women who believe these types of approaches are ok because no one has told them it isn’t and/or because they’re so used to it, having been raised and socialized in this culture, that they don’t even see it as problematic. And you know what? Sometimes ignorance is bliss and we can’t fight for everyone. Until they take these guys up on it and end up becoming part of the negative statistics about DV. When men see that it works for some women, they think it should work for all and instead of thinking of their behavior as wrong, they simply blame the women who don’t respond well as being wrong.

  • Sahel

    Y’all enjoy this post y’hear. Imma go lurker because i reckon i gots me grand theft auto to deal with,play nice now,Yee haw

  • Interesting breakdown Val- By those definitions, I’d be high-percentage, but I can’t tell you how much time and effort is wasted overall when trying to establish or maintain some common-ground before taking the shot. After a while most men realize that at the end of the day, all the common-ground in the world won’t change whether a woman is interested or not. Eventually they’ll just fall into low-percentage game. I like to say that a woman knows if she’s open to an approach in seconds. You can still be a hot mess and screw it up though, so no guarantees.
    I absolutely see your point about the low approach putting most women off, that’s not lost on me. I just figured I’d add a bit to help explain why you might see more of that behavior.

    • Todd

      The thing is they’re ALL low percentage approaches. Some are just better received that others.

      • Negro Libre

        Lol, ain’t that the truth.

        I said this back in the day, that women do not concern themselves, with the “how” men become attractive to them. They only concern themselves with the finished product. So when I hear them giving advice or instructions on how men can improve their chances with them, I smh. If your advice isn’t directed at men as; “How can a man smash in the shortest time possible with the least amount of money spent”, then your advice is a waste of time. No man with “game” thinks any other way.

        • Obsidian Files

          BOOM!!!

          Indeed, the very first thing a Man desirous of learning the Venusian Arts is: do not, under any circumstances, take dating/mating advice, from a Woman, and for precisely the reasons you have laidout.

          You need to be guest blogger over at Just Four Guys. Hit me up.

          O.

    • Val

      Really, Trip? It seems to me that most men have concluded that high percentage approaches are better in the long run. If that weren’t the case then the vast majority of men in the world would engage in the ‘Hey, baby’ approach. When that’s not the case. Most men may look but they don’t speak.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      “After a while most men realize that at the end of the day, all the
      common-ground in the world won’t change whether a woman is interested or
      not. Eventually they’ll just fall into low-percentage game.”

      So does that you are low lying fruit? I would guarantee that the man you’re dating / men you’ve dated have faced rejection from women MULTIPLE times before meeting you.

  • minxbrie

    I follow Everyday Sexism on Twitter. It is the most depressing thing you’ll ever read, but I think everyone should read it – it’s a rude wake up call for those in denial that street harassment is a problem. Street harassment is not a damn compliment, it’s for the person who decided that I just HAD to know that they found me attractive because without that cat call/ass-grab/whistle, clearly I have no idea of my own sexual value.

    For someone like me (awkward and introverted), my face will indicate if I want you to talk to me. Start with a Hello/Good morning/afternoon… If I side eye you or shrink back, leave me alone. Don’t push it. Also, don’t scream at me from a car or across the street and for God’s sakes, NEVER put your hands on me.

    And honestly, I think this is the response for most women. Read the signs – If I’m shrinking down into my own body, I am uncomfortable. If I am looking around or I’m taking small steps back, I am uncomfortable. Respect my space.

    • Desmond Atkins

      Why should everyone read something that is so depressing?

    • tickletik

      You are so selfish.

  • Obsidian Files

    “Equality, for those who can stomach it, is a cruel master – deal with it.”

    -Paul Elam, A Voice For Men

    Good Evening Gents,

    *Pulls up chair, puts fedora on table, rests cane on back of chair, motions waitress over to get a few rounds for the Brothas*

    Mr. Panama told me recently that he intended to return with expanded and revised remarks on the current topic, and true to his word, he didn’t disappoint – and I am most pleased to see you join in on the action as well, Mr. Champ.

    As I am sure it comes as no surprise to either of you, I too have been made aware of the latest #OutrageOfTheMonth on the part of the (WOC) Feminist Lobby, and have indeed written a bit about the matter from my vantage point; today serves as an opportunity to put everything I’ve said on this and related matters into one treatise for your and the Grand Assembly’s consideration.

    Let’s dive right in, shall we?

    The other day, I openly expressed skepticism at the supposed “epidemic” of street harassment, and asked if there was any empirical evidence available that lended support to the many and, I must say, somewhat hyperbolic assertions made on the part of certain ladies in the round in this regard; of course, no such evidence was forthcoming, and instead was informed about the very same “artist/activist” that Mr. Champ had the recent nonversation with on HuffPo Live with (I certainly do hope that Mr. Champ knows, that his appearance on such a forum was to serve as the proverbial sacrificial lamb and whipping boy, there only to do what Bill Maher called “the Oprah Nod” – right? Right? I mean, he didn’t really expect to have a full-throated conversation on the matter – right?). I’ve investigavted said “activist/artist” and found what she presents to be…wanting.

    There are a number of points that require illumination:

    1. The “issue”, such as it is, is one of LOW CLASS MEN WHO HAVE LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO OFFER A WOMAN, DOING THE “HARASSING”, IF AT ALL. We’ve all seen this so there’s little point to take it any further. Men from the lower end of the SES scale have always been society’s biggest street offenders of all kinds. Brothas who frequent forums like these are highly unlikely to engage in such behaviors.

    2. A Man may most certainly approach a Woman on the street or anywhere else (at work, et al), IF, he’s The Right Kind of Guy. What is that, you ask?

    To ask the question, is to answer it; in White America, as Tina Fey aptly demonstrated on Saturday Night Live a few years back, it’s Tom Brady; in Black America, it’s Idris Elba. YES, Men like them can and most likely will, say and pretty much do, anything they like to/with the ladies. And YES, this definitely means, that lesser Men need not apply – this is what the ladies are saying, and when it comes to Black America and particularly for the crowd that makes up the Afrosphere, ladies have been saying this for quite a few years now. Simply put, they are amenable to being approached, *by certain types of Brothas*.

    End of.

    3. Here’s the thing, though – the Brothas, writ large, have heard you, ladies – hence the “curious cases of the Man-less meet markets” and the like (looks at Mr. Champ). In fact, in a recent conversation with Mr. Paul Carrick Brunson, I learned that he has recently instituted a program on his website, where he actually pays “finder’s fees” of $100 USD to people who can find him Black Men for his Black Women clients(!).

    Let that sink in for a moment.

    I recently attended a backyard end-of-Summer party about a week or so ago, and I was the only Man in present, among roughly a dozen or so Women. It was NOT a pretty sight; Brothas got invites, the hostess even rang a few of them up to try to entice them to come over, etc – nada. About a week before that I was reading elsewhere online about how a Sista went out for a night of dancing and socializing – problem was, there hardly any Brothas there, and she was quite distraught over it.

    For decades now, Brothas have listened intently when Sistas of a particular cohort rundown their lists of what the ideal Man MUST have, or he need not even bother – and the Brothas have aceded. Hence why, at least in part, Grand Theft Auto V has made EIGHT HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS ON THE FIRST DAY OF ITS RELEASE. Forget video games, that’s more than what Iron Man 3 made, and that’s arguably this Summer’s big blockbuster hit movie in Hollywood. What this proves is that Brothas are indeed Going Their Own Way – and it ain’t necessarily to ogle ladies in various states of undress online.

    The X-Box, will do.

    4. As for the notion that Women in the early 21st century are somehow under great threat by marauding bands of Negroes out on the make, I offer the following from my recent column “Attack of The She-Creeper” for the Urban Politico:

    “One major reason as to why Men aren’t particularly vocal about being harassed by She-Creepers is due to this Orwellian system of Social Justice Triage that has been foisted upon them – anything that is perceived to impact Women, like the male variety of Creepers, street harassment and the like, must be addressed first and foremost, on the grounds that Men are stronger than Women and can pose a threat to them. If we were still living on the African Savannah back in the Land Before Time, or if we were still out on the frontier before the West Was Won, I might have gone along with that argument. However, we now live in the 21st century, where even children can operate Soviet-made AK-47 assault rifles, and it is not at all unusual to find copious amounts of video footage of Women administering severe amounts of Kickass on hapless male victims. And of course, there’s the infamous film “Fatal Attraction”.”

    Hmm.

    5. Which reminds me – *of course, the Feministas will never admit to such a thing as a She-Creeper, because of the very same sexist views they claim the whole of Mankind has against Women themselves* – how many Men here have encountered the following kinds of Women; again, I quote:

    “Well, as the name infers, the She-Creeper is someone who violates the personal space and boundaries of others (She-Creepers can and often do this to other Women as well, but for purposes of this discussion we are only going to focus on the She-Creeper-to-Hapless Male dynamic, and for reasons that are well-justified; read on), often in sexual ways, that just, you know, creeps you out. They give guys unsolicited/unwanted “compliments”, jump into conversations uninvited, touch guys unwanted, and almost never miss an opportunity to make sexually implicit remarks or jokes (sound familiar?) to guys they’ve got their creepy eyes on.

    Now, and this is based on my own extensive observation and experience over the years, I’ve found one defining characteristic of the She-Creeper: she tends to be an older Woman, and by “older” we are talking north of 35 years of age. You see, while there is much discussion in our time over who-should-do-what in terms of dating and mating (like who should pay for the first date, who should approach who, etc, et al), what’s often left out is the crucial factor of Time, and the role it plays in the mating dynamic among humans. Or, in other words, Women tend to get just a weebit more forward with age – often, creepily so.

    Toss in half a dozen bottles of wine and spirits into the mix, and it will not be at all unusual to see the more seasoned gals out there on the make in ways that would make even the most clueless Fanboy look innocuous. I’ve both seen and been the unfortunate recipient of the “attentions” of such Eartha Kitt knockoffs, and it is NOT appealing in the least. No, all She-Creepers aren’t over the age of 35; and no, all She-Creepers aren’t lushes; but there does seem to be a correlation here of these factors.”

    Don’t all you intrepid ladies speak at once, now.

    So, in closing, I offer the final point for the Brothas’ consideration:

    6. You are no longer living in the time of Mad Men. You are not Mr. Darcy. You live in the 21st century, and it is way past due to that notions of making the first approach to a Woman, or paying for the first date for a Woman, etc, et al, died the quick and painless death it has long deserved for far too long now. Women in general, and Black Women in particular, are strong, independent, in control of their sexuality, know what they want and how to go after it – so let them. Your job, is to make yourself as attractive as you can – your grooming, your manner of dress and style, your social skills, your body language, you living an interesting life – and trust me when I tell you, you do all these things, you WILL get ladies approaching you.

    And that’s when the fun, really begins. After all, guys who approach Women first? That’s for beginners.

    The ladies have said that they wish to be left alone – and you know what I say, fellas?

    We should do, just that.

    My job is done here.

    Now adjourn your arses…

    O.

    • mylesfast

      O, the “She-Creeper” point is a bit of straw argument. Alot of the objection the ladies have to the random approach & street harassment is the possible threat to their personal safety. The she-creeper never really has the element to their approach/behavior.

      • Obsidian Files

        Mylesfast:
        I beg to differ; as I noted above, even Women know that the She-Creeper exists, and while she may not be able to inflict bodily harm on a Man (and I think that’s questionable; have you seen YouTube or WorldStar Hip Hop lately?), that doesn’t mean that she can’t make a Man’s life who’s scorned her a living Hades; which is why I mentioned Fatal Attraction.

        But as I said above, this isn’t about sussing out the truth; this is about scoring political points. The truth is, that being a Creeper isn’t something that’s the sole preserve of the Menz, and that the ladies can’t hurt guys. Every pair of eyes reading these words knows this ain’t so.

        O.

      • Obsidian Files

        Mylesfast:
        I beg to differ; as I noted above, even Women know that the She-Creeper exists, and while she may not be able to inflict bodily harm on a Man (and I think that’s questionable; have you seen YouTube or WorldStar Hip Hop lately?), that doesn’t mean that she can’t make a Man’s life who’s scorned her a living Hades; which is why I mentioned Fatal Attraction.

        But as I said above, this isn’t about sussing out the truth; this is about scoring political points. The truth is, that being a Creeper isn’t something that’s the sole preserve of the Menz, and that the ladies can’t hurt guys. Every pair of eyes reading these words knows this ain’t so.

        O.

    • Agatha Guilluame

      I went to school in ATL so I can understand how living in an area with a dearth of eligible men can eventually seem like a national thing as opposed to a local thing but in NY, in my experience, there’s no dearth of eligible men. I can’t throw a house party or go to a club without there being at minimum a 2 to 1 ratio guys to girls. And the venue doesn’t seem to matter. It could be Webster Hall for the Five Alarm Fete Labor Day weekend, a block party in LeFrak City, clubs in Brooklyn, bars in Queens, chill spots like SPIN or la marina, or even my own apartment for Karaoke or Spades night. In fact, ladies, if you are living in NY and you’re feeling like there are no men, I can give you a list of at least 5 places you could go after work today and meet funny, good looking, college educated, career having, goal having, gentlemen. However, if you live in ATL, move.

      • Yoles

        “However, if you live in ATL, move.”

        somebody call the amberlamps!!

      • Todd

        Wow…the shot at ATL is more epic that Michael Jackson’s old record label. #seewhatididthere Still, the problem in New York is that women think because that Wall Street dudes or big baller dude or serious money dope boy is going to be at the party that THEY are the ones who are going to get them. What impresses women in the vast majority of America is considered reg’lar ninja ish around here. Dudes have more game in NY because they need it.

      • SuperStrings

        “However, if you live in ATL, move.”
        Nooooooo, stay. Don’t listen to her. lol

  • Kinghenry2007

    To cut it short, I suppose women respond differently to being approached. I am safe with the historical “good morning, good day”… #lurker>drops>mic#

    • Thank you, sir, good morning to you, too!

      • Kinghenry2007

        lol lolhowdy ma’am

    • BreezyX2

      *runs behind Kinghenry2007 and screams* Come back Kinghenry2007, come back!

    • Rachmo

      Wait wait come back!

      • Kinghenry2007

        HAHAHA

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