Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Panama And The Champ Have A Long Chat About Street Harassment

NYC Street Harassment

Panama: So, street harassment has been getting a lot of traction as of late. There are panels, discussions, shouting matches (which may or may not actually constitute street harassment depending on if the man is louder methinks), Twitter town halls, Twitter shouting matches (“tweet harassment” perhaps?…), etc. Basically, the conversation about men making women feel uncomfortable has reached a critical mass. To wit, the definition according to StopStreetHarassment.org is:  any action or comment between strangers in public places that is disrespectful, unwelcome, threatening and/or harassing and is motivated by gender or sexual orientation. 

In its simplest form, basically men need to stop talking to women unless women say something first. Hmm…if I say “smile sister!” and I’m smiling at the same time, is that harassment? I’m really curious about this. What’s your take on it?

Damon: I took part in a HuffPo live segment about street harassment last week. The producers reached out to me because of a piece I wrote for EBONY (“I Stopped Telling Women to Smile“), and I was the lone male voice with three women—including Tatyana Fazlalizadeh. Because of the show’s format, I didn’t get much of a chance to speak. But, when I did, I offered some background about what prompted me to write the EBONY piece.

That said, I am a bit ambivalent about some of the articles and discussions about this movement. No one—well, no one in their right mind—would deny that random shouts, catcalls, and insults do occur and can make women feel violated and even physically threatened. Also, this type of behavior can escalate.  I’ve heard stories from numerous women about them politely declining a man’s “invitation,” and that “invitation” quickly turning into an insult or even violence.  
 
But, some of this conversation has gone as far as saying that men should never do a “cold approach”—basically, unless a woman has made it clear she’s interested in being approached, he shouldn’t say a word—and I don’t agree with that. I think we (men) can stand to be a bit smarter and more considerate with how we approach women we’re romantically interested in, but we do still have to approach. And, sometimes these approaches may happen while on the bus, or at the gas station, or on the street. 
 

You know, I do think most men understand the difference between considerate approach and harassment, and most women know the difference as well. But, it seems like the tone and tenor of this conversation is being set by people on opposite ends of the spectrum: women who seem to consider all unsolicited male attention to be harassment, and men who say things like “Man, if I can’t give random females compliments on their tiddies, how is the human race gonna survive??? They should be happy I even took the time to notice they asses!”

PanamaI think that you may be right. It probably is mostly the fringe element that’s driving the majority of the conversation, as the Internet is largely responsible for. I mean, if you let the Internet and FOX News tell it, well…don’t let them tell anything. I think men could be a lot smarter and less icky when talking to women on the street. I just don’t know if we’re supposed to stop talking altogether. Like can I say, “hello beautiful”? Or is that like borderline. Perhaps its like backhanded harassment…on the street. And to be fair, I agree. I’m not trying to trivialize the movement. I’ve seen and heard some pretty atrocious things said to women who were doing nothing more than existing. That’s not nice. And the guys who managed to do so clearly were pretty disgusting people. I guess, my curiosity about it is more of, like, would women prefer (I realize I’m asking a man) for nobody to ever say anything? Is positive stuff okay? Hell, I’m afraid that if I say hello to a woman and say she’s beautiful I may get like, hit with the street harassment whistle or something. Wait, is there a street harassment whistle? If not there probably should be one.

Damon: I know women who carry whistles. And mace. And tasers. And tiny dogs that shit in their purses. I also know a woman who showed me how she holds her keys when she’s walking somewhere alone at night so that they form a de facto knife. 

I don’t know any men that carry those types of weapons. (Or purse-shitting dogs.) And, while I’m aware many men carry guns, I don’t know—well, I don’t think I know—any who do. I also don’t feel compelled to go to the bathroom in groups, I don’t think twice about taking my eye off of my drink if I’m sitting at a bar, and I’ve never intentionally made sure to wear more conservative clothes so I got less unprompted attention from the opposite sex when catching the train to work.

I’m bringing this up because we (men) have a tendency to downplay or just completely ignore the fact that while the world is a dangerous place for all of us, it’s even more dangerous for women. It’s almost like how (some) White people will downplay or completely ignore the effect racial profiling can have on us.

Also, we have to be real with ourselves. I seriously doubt any woman you say hello to is going to blow the harassment whistle on you, and I seriously doubt you believe that too. It feels like the internet-based pushback or even ambivalence about this movement from men is based on semantics. We (men who read and shit) know how to act around women, know what harassment is, and aren’t going to have our off-line interactions with women affected by this at all.

I will say one thing though: I don’t think it’s a good idea to ask women how they prefer to be approached. Aside from shit that goes without saying—i.e. “don’t grab my ear,” “don’t have breath that smells like Newark”—if you ask 10 women that question, you’re likely to get 10 different answers.

Plus, no one—women, men, Gucci Mane—knows what they want, anyway. Seriously, sometimes it seems like life is nothing but a quest to learn exactly what you don’t want. And, when you finally do figure out what you want, you die.

Basically, life is like a very eclectic hood strip club.

Panama: Damon, sir. Mr. Champ. I do believe we’ve got some growth there. I sense the empathy and attempt at understanding the other side. I’d shed a tear if I hadn’t already let the song cry. So  yeah, you’re right. Women have to deal with an entirely different set of circumstances than we do. I have a daughter and I’m already scared about what’s possibly happening to her when I’m not around. So I see your point. Ladies….I get it.

On another note, I disagree about asking women how they want to be approached. Hell, that’s the only way to get data and find a middle ground. So what you get 10 different answers; I guarantee that they’ll all be at least “okay” and won’t include the words, “hey redbone, let me bust it wide open” or “how about you do something strange for a little piece of change” or “I got your tuition in my wallet, guh…twerk something”. Or my current favorite that has yet to work…”guh…I know you want this dih!” Not that I’ve actually tried it. Nope. Not even twice.

So for me, I would be curious as to how women would like men to approach them ideally. I feel like we’d get a mix of grand sweeping gestures and scenes from Belly. Really though, it would probably look like Love Jones. Here’s a stick in the mud, Darius Lovehall, the patron saint of Black romance was a real life stalker. Like an actual one. That isn’t street harassment, that’s a felony. But I’ll bet some women would find that charming. So to quote poet laureate and philosopher king, Tyrese, what am I gonna do?

Damon: Yeah, Darius definitely did some arrestable shit in that movie. That nigga just showed up at her door…after getting her address from a receipt…and after being told by her that she wasn’t interested, but he’s the Black patron paragon of coitus procurement??? It has to be the baby hair.

And, the reason why I don’t think asking about approach best practices is useful is that they’re too variable and arbitrary. Lemme put it this way: What Jane says is the best way to approach her (“Just say hi and make me laugh”) might not work when Jack tries it. But, later that night, Jim gets Jane’s number, and all he did was nod in her direction. (It was a “sexy” nod, according to Jane, but just a nod nonetheless.)

Oh, and let the song cry on deez.

Filed Under: , ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • iamnotakata

    I think its interesting that someone created a website dedicated to street harassment. Also I would have to agree, if you polled a room of 20 women as to what exactly constitutes street harassment you’d probably get 10 different answers. Its all in the approach, and whether you can speak appropriate english really…

    • GypsyCurl

      Girl I wish I would have created a website/change.org petition, etc. I was going to print out fliers to hand out to guys who spoke to me rudely on the streets because I don’t have the time or patience to break it down to every ignant mofo on the street as to why what they said was rude/disrespectful and why telling me to smile while they are mean-mugging (no panama they aren’t usually smiling when telling a girl to smile)

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Handing out flyers to some of those guys could become very problematic very quick.

        • LMNOP

          Yeah, they probably would just think “oh she’s talking to me now, it’s working!”

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Yep. I’ve seen women with petitions or who are registering people to vote have a rough time.

    • GypsyCurl

      My comment was to buy to finish it: ….why telling me to smile while you mean mug is not going to ever be well received. #rantover#time4beddybyebye

  • Maris

    I sort of agree with Champ. I didn’t know until we had a discussion online that some women consider “damn, girl!” a compliment.
    I think we all can agree though, that the key to an approach that won’t get you labeled is by talking TO me, not “at” me. I’ve been approached, but more often I’ve been”hollered at”. Just spat random words my way for a reaction.
    Now EYE personally prefer humor as an icebreaker, but it’s just me.
    You know what might work, though? If you ask women what their BEST street holler story was instead of their worst. You might get better clues there.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      Best: Excuse me I just had to ask you, what’s that scent you’re wearing?

      I do take time in purchasing perfumes and it was nice that he noticed my fragrance and attempted to start a conversation based off of that as opposed to my physical appearance.

    • Yet Another Lurker

      Honestly, one of the best cold approaches was a guy who asked me for directions. He said, “I’m sorry, I’m from here I know where it’s at but I had to talk to you. You’re very beautiful”. Granted I felt a little stupid for “falling for it” but he didn’t come at me in a “aye ma, let me get at you” kind of way. We laughed about it and exchange numbers. Humor is a winner for me too.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        worst approach that actually worked, i proposed to a girl, she asked did she know me, i told her not yet yada yada yada. tried it again she just laughed said no and kept it moviing butyou know at least i aint tell her to smile, that would be just weird..

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Lol.

    • Maris

      I was sleepy, so I forgot to add my story, lol!
      Best “Catcall”:
      I was rushing to get back to work from a too -leisurely lunch when I came up on five guys (not the burger) on the corner. They obviously were porters for the building and I didn’t have time to cross the street so I gritted my teeth and prepared to take I on the chin. As I scurried past, one guy yells, “Grrrrl you so pretty you took our breath away!!”
      AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TAKE THEIR ASTHMA PUMPS OUT AND INHALE. I almost ended up in the fetal position from how hard I was laughing. They all got hugs that day (again, a lot of street hollers are for a reaction, not a result,nobody minded there were no # exchanged).

      Best “Cold” Approach:

      My ex, who basically walked up to me and said, “Do I know you? [no] I should. I’m___.”
      I actually use this one a lot, lol.

    • Obsidian Files

      Maris:
      Hmm…I don’t believe you. All manner of empirical tests along these lines consistently prove that it is the social status etc of the Man, that ultimately tells the tale, and not so much what he says (though it certainly wouldn’t hurt).

      In a word – having a great sense of humor and looking like Urkel is one thing; having that same sense of humor and looking (fill in the blank Hot Brotha of your dreams) is something else…

      O.

      • Maris

        So the f*ck what? All manner of empirical tests prove to me that if I WASN’T the (fill in the black attractive woman you’d like) you wouldn’t have approached at all. Please lets not act like i didn’t have to be attractive to you for you to bother, so i don’t have to pretend you don’t need to be attractive to me to get a better result. People who are attractive to the opposite person get a better reaction. Whoopdy f*cking doo, science!!
        Please note, y’all are going to have to miss me today with the “but it didn’t work” like I’m supposed to fawn over every man that approaches. You WILL get into your head that basic attractin works both ways and is important to women. Mmkay? Cool.

        • Obsidian Files

          Maris:
          Your crude protestations aside, I’m afraid I simply must insist; the studies are quite conclusive.

          Now – why is this important?

          Simple.

          Ready?

          Because…wait for it…

          MEN HAVE BEEN FED A LINE OF BS ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH WOMEN, THATS WHY.

          This is your “point” above, in attempting to draw an equivilancy between female attractiveness and male attractiveness simply will NOT work – why?

          Because…

          …wait for it…

          EVERYONE KNOWS HOW MEN OPERATE – BOTH MEN, AND ESPECIALLY WOMEN.

          It’s not closely guarded state secret that Men definitely appreciate physically attractive (and relatively young-er) Women than not.

          But Science has only begun to unravel the psychosexual mystery that is Woman – and it is gaining ground at a rapid pace, I might add.

          Being the Right Guy matters, *more than anything else*.

          Do we understand each other, madam?

          ;)

          Book references available, upon request…

          O.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            Isn’t that what Maris said originally sans all the breaks in thought?

            • Obsidian Files

              AP:
              Not quite, hence my all-caps notation. Women simply do not grok just how much so many Men, and yes, this includes especially Black Men of the more educated sort, of a head job so many of the have received. Millions of Men have honestly believed that if you were just “gentlemanly” and “do the right things” you would get the girl. Of course, what was left out of the equation was, that said guy had to be the Right Kind of Guy, to get said girl.

              Where Ms. Maris and I seem to disagree, is on the above point. Hence my reason for bring in the science of human attraction and mating, particularly on the female side.

              Simply put, most guys aren’t attractive to most Women. And in an age where most Women don’t need most guys, most guys will go mateless.

              Which is why I made the point about GTAV making so much bank the other day…

              Next question?

              :)

              O.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                Why is it a crime for women to be attracted to status and money? I’m attracted to both of these things. I don’t mind being called all types of gold diggers and leaches either. What else y’all (not you personally Obsidian) broke men have to say about who I like? If that’s the worst thing I can be in life then I’ll be that.

                If men can like TNA, 30 inch Platinum blonde Peruvian hair, tiny waists, and pretty faces I can surely enjoy a man’s bank account without any qualms.

                • Obsidian Files

                  AP:

                  “Why is it a crime for women to be attracted to status and money?”

                  O: It isn’t, and last time I checked, no Man here or anywhere else has made an issue of that fact…

                  “I’m attracted to both of these things. I don’t mind being called all types of gold diggers and leaches either.”

                  O: Being attracted to such things do not make you a gold digger.

                  “What else y’all (not you personally Obsidian) broke men have to say about who I like? If that’s the worst thing I can be in life then I’ll be that.”

                  O: I cannot answer this as I have not discussed “broke Men”…

                  “If men can like TNA, 30 inch Platinum blonde Peruvian hair, tiny waists, and pretty faces I can surely enjoy a man’s bank account without any qualms.”

                  O: Hmm…

                  O.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    Men don’t take issue with women wanting them to be a certain level financially?? I don’t even have to go back that far in VSB posts to demolish this hypothesis.

                    • Obsidian Files

                      AP:
                      At present, Men makeup a clear majority of all workplace fatalities, something like 93% of them. This is in part due to the fact that working longer hours, in far flung places and doing more risky or dangerous work, brings in more money with which to use as an inducement to get the female to mate.

                      You were saying…?

                      O.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      How did that answer my counter to your question? Also where are the receipts? You just put up random numbers and expect the people of VSB to bow down. No. Not up in here. Not up in here. I can just as easily tell you that 96.372293793% of men are displaced and in the unemployment line.

                    • Obsidian Files

                      AP:
                      Numbers easily found by way of the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

                      My point is that Men do what they can to earn the bucks Women like you desire. Often to their detriment…up to and including (early) death…

                      O.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Men also venture well out of their financial lane to try and secure women who want the big bucks.

                    • Obsidian Files

                      AP: …And come swiftly crashing back down to earth…

                      O.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Point being, Obsidian, is that men need to STAY IN THEIR LANE! You can’t be out in the streets expecting women of a certain caliber to be impressed by you if you don’t posses the traits these certain caliber of women have come to expect from men.

                      Please stick to rivers and the lakes that you’re used to until you move up the fiscal ladder.

                    • Obsidian Files

                      AP:
                      Point taken – but really, do guys do this anywhere near as much as some ladies say they do? I mean, think about it – the rules of assortative mating say, that you tend to deal with those in your social circle. So, if you’re only dealing with guys of a certain type and class etc, how would it even be possible for said lower guys to even be in your cipher to begin with? Its like seeing Ivana Trump on the subway.

                      Guys have little problem lowering their standards when the need calls for it – few Women are Spinsters in our time unless they want to be. The Thirst, is just that Real.

                      O.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Social circles intersect at various venues, though not often. There’s an HBCU and a prestigious PWI in my city. I know for a fact that despite the $50,000 price tag difference, that students from each school run in parallel social circles. It’s not unheard of.

                    • John Shannon

                      That’s some Sexist and semi-Elitist stuff right here, lol
                      Let us Guys EVER get the gall to say Women need to “stay in THEIR LANE”, whatever Lane that is……..but I am curious as to if you think ANY Women of ANY Trait can have Her Pick of Men of ALL/ANY Caliber…….

                • Todd

                  But….I don’t care about Peruvian hair, Yaki, Remi or anything else.

                  The tiny waist thing though…yeah. LOL

          • Maris

            I wasn’t going to reply, but 2 quick pouts.
            1) We’re making the same points. You’re just not happy about it.
            2) What you are not factoring in is “attractiveness” varies between men and women. Women consider more than physical (as in, face and body) in the “attractiveness scale”. I know quite a few women that have responded to “swagger” (whatever that is), social standing, and yes, even humor. “Right guy” could be any number of that combo. So, like I said, so the f*ck what?
            We can debate judging books by their covers till we’re blue in the face, it still won’t take away from the fact that you approached me BECAUSE of my “cover”, so you can’t get upset if i happen to not be attracted to yours.

            • Obsidian Files

              Maris:

              “I wasn’t going to reply,”

              O: Yes, you were. ;)

              “but 2 quick pouts.”

              O: Who’s mad about what, now?

              “1) We’re making the same points. You’re just not happy about it.”

              O: Negative. You haven’t seen me mad yet.

              “2) What you are not factoring in is “attractiveness” varies between men and women.”

              O: On the contrary, I actually have…

              “Women consider more than physical (as in, face and body) in the “attractiveness scale”. ”

              O: Yes, this true; having said that however, a Man’s physicality IS important. Studies have confirmed this – remember? ;)

              “I know quite a few women that have responded to “swagger” (whatever that is), social standing, and yes, even humor. “Right guy” could be any number of that combo. So, like I said, so the f*ck what?”

              O: Please review the above…

              “We can debate judging books by their covers till we’re blue in the face, it still won’t take away from the fact that you approached me BECAUSE of my “cover”, so you can’t get upset if i happen to not be attracted to yours.”

              O: Who said anything about getting “mad” or “upset”?

              Projection much?

              O.

            • T.Q. Fuego

              “1) We’re making the same points. You’re just not happy about it.”

              I guffawed when I read this. Carry on

        • keisha brown

          LOL. tell dem.
          yes. if you are attractive you ‘get away’ with more. this works both ways. no need to point it out.
          that being said..’attractive’ is in the eye of the beholder and what works for one, might not work for the other.
          the POINT (like many miss) is that you are NOT entitled to the reaction that YOU want as a man simply because YOU want it. many of you fellas STAY telling us women to stop feeling entitled..but of course.. the cease and desist order on the entitled can’t go both ways cuz…
          *sleeps*

  • NipseysKlub

    Here is a great video that my cousin made discussing stress harassment and her website. She is in the Philly area
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Qpi-fW6jA

    http://faanmail.wordpress.com/streetharassment/
    https://www.facebook.com/FAANMail

  • GypsyCurl

    This is the best thing to say to a woman on the street if you just HAVE to speak to her: Hi/Hello/Goodmorning/Goodafternoon. What is the next thing to do? Keep it moving.

    • GyosyCurl

      Addendum: do NOT add baby/lady/honey/sexy/beautiful/redbone/etc. after the greeting. That’s when you have changed from a guy that greats everyone to the thirsty street harasser.

      • Oshun

        I absolutely love it when whoever it is says, goodafternoon lady or goodafternoon miss. I deem that to be very respectful.

    • DG

      Okay…I’m not a big fan of the cold approach (esp. just out & about in the street), but just to play devil’s advocate here…what if he’s interested and actually TRYING to approach??

      *And just so that safety isn’t as much of a concern, let’s just say it’s daytime, SHE’S not in any particular rush, HE doesn’t look like he spends all day out on the street catcalling (in fact, let’s put dude in a tailored suit…with a briefcase…and a career). If he sees you walking in his direction, and he’s focused, all he should say is “hello” and leave it at that?

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        If he’s fine he can tip his glasses and flash his pearly whites my way after saying ‘hello’. Ninja you SMILE FOR ME MUTHAFUGGA!!!

    • John Shannon

      IF Beautiful and Honey is Offensive I SERIOUSLY will call a Woman Stuck Up/Nobbish/Attitude-Having with a sample of Irrational and give a Side-Eye.

  • Be.

    I had this same conversation regarding Darius with some sisters not too long ago. Its Hollywood. Sentimental Hollywood. No one wants some nigro no matter how bad his slam poetry is, to find their address on a check and track them down. Not cute. Not even a little bit. I understand that common sense ain’t often common but really get into what Maris says below. If you’re coming from a place of woman=object to be talked at and not human to learn more about (i.e. talk with) what you say will be extremely compromised.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      what if i got that new justin timberlake album tho….raheem? jaheim? dah dream?

  • Oshun

    There is no need to ask a woman how they liked to be approached, how about you approach them like a NORMAL human being would, with respect. That’s all. Ain’t no need to objectify or mention body parts. Simple and clear!

    Where did this a woman needs to smile all the time come from? I have a screw face on in the morning with reason. I’m not awake. Leave me be. I don’t bite, but I sho will bite if you ask me to smile at such an ungodly hour.

    But I do have to admit there are times catcalling can be fun and humorous, yes, bite me.

    • Msdebbs

      Yea I HATE that whole hey you need to smile bs…wtf do I need to smile for??? And what would I look like walking around with a big ol smile on my face all day? A straight up clown.

      • Oshun

        We are <<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Or a perpetual beauty pageant contestant.

      • WIP

        “And what would I look like walking around with a big ol smile on my face all day?”

        Happy…
        :)

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val
      • Oshun

        GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHATDAMMMMMMMMMMNN!!!!!!!

        God took time moulding this one. Thank you Father. You deserve all honor and glory for this wonderful piece of artwork.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          I guess that means this is the first time you’re seeing this.

          • Oshun

            Yap!

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              Well, you should really like this one then. It’s from inside this issue.

              http://www.gq.com/images/style/2013/10/idris-elba/idris-elba-gq-magazine-october-2013-fall-style-02.jpg

              • Todd

                *cries* But at…my size, I can’t afford to dress like this. I would have to have Jay-Z money! *wallslides, then get some pr0n to take away the pain*

                • Obsidian Files

                  Todd:
                  Nah, you can pull it off without it hurting your pockets. When next in Philly, head on over to Chestnut St. around 11th or so, a spot called Tate’s Menswear. Tell em the O-Man sent ya. ;)

                  O.

                • Rachmo

                  Witcho 6’5″ self

                • Shamira

                  how tall are you again, Todd? I forget :)

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                Who down voted this though? Y’all VSBs just hate Idris looking good huh? Lol Stay mad.

                http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpncvh9Xoi1qhe4xn.gif

                • WIP

                  Not the best facial expression…his jeans look too small. he just looks totally uncomfortable. I prefer Daddy’s Little Girls Idris, lol

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    *shrug* he isn’t the best looking black men I know, but he still looks leagues better than the men I encounter on a day to day basis.

                • John Shannon

                  Ay, when VSBs can appreciate Amber Rose and her pre-wedding Twerking and not get called Dogs MAYBE the Idris Elba slander can be Revised, lol

        • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

          i dont see how yall lust after idris so bad, he just looks like my uncle or something….but hey he keeping us dark brothas prospering

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I’ll fugg your uncle too then if he looks like Idris. What’s his number???

          • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

            Hubby says the same thing, that Idris just looks like a regla’ole dude. BLASPHEMY. or, regular dudes stay winning??? chew on that!

            • Brother Mouzone

              We all know that a man’s attractiveness to women depends on his level of status/fame/power/talent/money etc.. No shade on brotha Idris, but i think a lot of his stans would walk right by if he was Jerome workin’ at Sears.

              • Brother Mouzone

                Edit…Not ALL of his attractiveness, but a large percentage of it. Some women like a guy like me who makes middle class money but just handsome as hell…lol..I kid, I kid.not really.

          • Shamira

            Idris is definitely a bit overrated but so is Rihanna idc idc idccccccc

            • BreezyX2

              *opens the door to Non-Idris fan club* Welcome Shamira, we are glad to have you. BTW, your avi is so damb sunny!

              • Yoles

                plus me!!!!!

              • Shamira

                thanks boo! lol

              • http://Sarcasmforbreakfast.com/ Mizz Cam

                I haven’t received my membership card in the mail yet, but I’m definitely in this club.

                • BreezyX2

                  Gurl come on in we have chips and dip. Membership cards are not required!

            • Todd

              Rihanna is the celebrity version of that OK looking chick that you know will f*ck the sh*t out of you, but has daddy issues and is crazy as a bedbug. She’s a high risk, his reward proposition.

              • Shamira

                EYE’m just saying dudes have quickly forgotten how they were clowning her forehead when she first hit the scene. She really spoke her secks vixen status into existence. I guess The Secret works lol

              • John Shannon

                And Lauren London and Nivea have the Weezy Virus. No Matter what show, album, song or movie they are in, or how Good/Sexy/Beautiful they are Screwing Tenuchi and having his kid(s) will be the Black Mark on them.
                Word to Jack Sparrow lol

            • Yoles

              Ri-Ri is rachet chexy though… and she got crazy eyes… it works for her… idris i can’t ‘plain it

            • Oshun

              Oh no, overrated he is not dear. He is quite under the radar.

          • Rachmo

            Oh wait you got an uncle that looks like Idris? Is he single?

            • Shamira

              They outchea hiding family member from us. If y’all wont take me out on a groupon date , your cousin will!!!! hmph lol

              • Rachmo

                I’m sayin tho, put him in your avi

          • Oshun

            I lust after him for the following reasons:
            1.) Idris is not stereotypically handsome, but he sho is STRIKING and has got STRONG features I like and associate with brothers from the motherland. Do you see the circumference of his nose? That nose will keep the thieves at bay when we are sleeping in our hut in the village, with no door. Do you peep his bushy eyebrows, the lines across his face. He is gruff looking. I am NOT attracted to brothers with smooth features, e.g. Shemar Moore, Boris Kodjoe. I don’t get their hype!
            2.) He is a DAMN good actor! Yes he is, especially in the independent films I’ve watched of him. Never watched the wire, don’t care for it, but the reviews thus far back up the aforementioned.
            3.) He is VERY connected to his African roots despite having been born and raised in Britain. Always in the motherland involved in some creative endeavor of some sort.
            4.) This man can wear a SUIT. Ref. to the pic……

            • The Champ

              “Do you see the circumference of his nose? That nose will keep the thieves at bay when we are sleeping in our hut in the village, with no door. ”

              LOLOL

        • John Shannon

          So, can Men have Vibe, Maxim, and Black Men’s Magazine Swimsuit Editions back and NOT get Intellectual Black Taliban-Feminists bashing us for it now????????????
          That seems fair, like Peace talks between Israel and Palestine/Iran/Lebanon/Jordan/Syria/Pakistan or South and North Korea

          • Oshun

            I don’t know what you are on about. You can have whatever you like.

      • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

        yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS!

      • Rachmo

        Sweet lord

        • Oshun

          I know right, isn’t the Lord good?

    • Todd

      The problem is that if you say hello politely to the wrong woman, you might come back with nubs for hands. And I mean JUST hello without any qualifiers. I have said hello, how you’re doing to a woman and have been cursed out like “ninja, you think I’d talk to a brunt motherf*cker like you!” That would put the fear of God into a man..

      • Obsidian Files

        Todd:
        Tru dat – and then the very same Sista will have the unmitigated gall to call you everything but a child of God for daring to get a Becky…

        O.

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          What does that have to do with wanting to date white women?

          • Obsidian Files

            AP:
            Because, and this is by no means the norm, but there are *some* Brothas who get spurned in such a manner by *some* Sistas, and decide to try their hand in other areas, so to speak. Not saying it’s right or wrong, just noting the irony of it. I’ve personally witnessed this dynamic myself, and it is quite a sight…

            O.

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              Why do black men feel like white women won’t turn them down just because they’re white? Serious question. Is this just black men assuming white women across the board have some Mandingo fetish?

              AfroPetite asking the hard hitting questions today on VSB. Stay tuned at 11 to find out the answers to her queries.

              • Obsidian Files

                AP:
                Good questions.

                Perhaps it is the whole “Mandingo” thing; my take on the matter though, is that White Women in general, seem to be more approachable than Black Women in general. Call that a cross-cultural thing, etc. But I’ve seen this play itself out many times.

                O.

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  I think white women are just as trill when it comes to rejection. I spent some time at Mad Hatter in DC and white women stayed rejecting men of all races in that establishment every time I was there. Black man approaches white woman with the prospect of alcohol. White woman agrees to drink and scurries away just as quickly as the bar tender places a straw in her cup.

                  It’s cool that black men are counting on white women to be more approachable, but that doesn’t mean they’ll have any more success in bagging her for a night of fun or for something more long term.

                  • Obsidian Files

                    AP:
                    Not if they’re doing Simpish stuff like that, they most assuredly will NOT…

                    O.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Lol I’m just saying white women cannot be counted on to provide black men with the comfort of a warm hole just because they’re white. A simp is going to get milked and rejected by all women regardless of race.

                    • Obsidian Files

                      AP:
                      Agreed…

                      O.

                  • Todd

                    FWIW, having observed White women in the wild, they won’t as hard in the paint as a Black women does, ceteris parabis, but they do reject probably *more* often than Black women, ceteris parabis once again. Having this one neighbor in college that was hot by White guy standards, but had negative 2 dudes of color checking for her gave me a chance to watch this dynamic in action. The stuff White guys would get all up in their feelings about would be considered nice-ish if pulled off by a sister. Go freakin’ figure.

                    • LMNOP

                      “having observed White women in the wild” lol, but it actually sounds more like you observed one domesticated white woman.

                    • Todd

                      There are more examples, but you see my point. I was trying to say that I observed this one in particular just as a part of every day neighbor ish. Trust me…the White man’s ice is no colder in the relationship game. LOL

                    • SuperStrings

                      “the White man’s ice is no colder in the relationship game.”
                      Carter G. Woodson was way ahead of his time, apparently in more ways than he knew. lol

                    • Yet Another Lurker

                      Very true, I’ve seen those double standards in play in another instance too. My old roommate dated black men exclusively. While we went in a gas station these black guys say to her “Damn sexy, you not gon smile today?” and she says, “I’m not gonna smile for your azz!”. The dudes just laughed at their boy and he laughed too. I was shocked. Had I said that I would’ve been every foul name under the sun but she’s white, so her being “mean” is “cute”. Go figure indeed.

              • The Champ

                “Why do black men feel like white women won’t turn them down just because they’re white? Serious question. Is this just black men assuming white women across the board have some Mandingo fetish?”

                Honestly, I have no idea how to approach White women. The only ones I, um, “dated” were in college, and they each approached me first

                • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                  The same way you’d approach any woman?

            • LMNOP

              O, this is stupid. No shortage of white women complaining about street harassment, which you may or may not believe actually happens.

              • Obsidian Files

                LMNOP:
                I don’t recall saying otherwise; I was responding to Todd’s remarks above, which then sparked a sidebar discussion between AP and myself; perhaps you missed it?

                O.

  • Agatha Guilluame

    I’ve addressed this before on this site, in a reply to Bunni….so I’m just gonna copy and paste.

    “I get what you’re saying Bunni. Your experiences coupled with the fact that you’re small (no offense) and people probably try you all the time…equals a healthy wariness. Just being a woman I feel you.

    It’s a feeling I’ve tried to convey to my boyfriend unsuccessfully. He’s 6ft, 210 and he moves through the same space as me but from a completely different perspective. Those same men on the corner probably don’t even cause a blip on his radar even as he gives them a head nod. He doesn’t start tensing up at the sight of them. He doesn’t start gauging the flow of traffic so he can dash across street well ahead of their notice. He doesn’t say to himself, keep your head down, don’t make eye contact, don’t acknowledge them.

    But maybe that same tension comes over him at the sight of the police…”

    Also, just an FYI to all guys. If a woman is about to walk past you and you see her busy looking at her phone or digging in her purse or looking away from you…do not try to get her attention. She already saw you. She is trying to look busy in the hopes that you will leave her alone. In fact, if you find yourself in any situation where you can’t seem to catch her eye…like you’re sitting directly opposite her on the train and 7 stops later despite the fact that you’ve been staring her down, she hasn’t looked at you not once but has instead been staring at the ads above your head…that is not your cue to get up from your seat and lean down in front of her and say smile.

    • Obsidian Files

      Agatha:

      “It’s a feeling I’ve tried to convey to my boyfriend unsuccessfully. He’s 6ft, 210 and he moves through the same space as me but from a completely different perspective. Those same men on the corner probably don’t even cause a blip on his radar even as he gives them a head nod. He doesn’t start tensing up at the sight of them. He doesn’t start gauging the flow of traffic so he can dash across street well ahead of their notice. He doesn’t say to himself, keep your head down, don’t make eye contact, don’t acknowledge them.”

      O: Your assumption only works IF the guy, in this case your boyfriend, is indeed 6ft and over 200lbs…but what if the guy in question isn’t? What if he’s say, 5’7″ and 150lbs? Then what?

      And, what if the gal in question is 5’11” and 200lbs – what then? Would she “move through that same space from a different perspective” too? Would the guy of smaller stature tense up at the prospect of moving through a crowd of homies on the corner, like you?

      And, like I’ve been saying here, let us assume the smaller stature guy gets hemmed up by some Women in various instances – are you saying that it is nowhere near as legitimate as your concern? If so, how and why? On what basis could you, or anyone else say such a thing? There are quite a few larger ladies in Black American life – we’ve all seen this – so please explain?

      O.

      • Agatha Guilluame

        I can only speak (with authority) to my own experience. And of course my perspective is really the only one I can (with any authority) relay. But asking me to speculate about what I imagine a smaller man or bigger woman goes through…would be just that, speculation. Besides, it’s not a zero sum game. One experience doesn’t discount the other. So to answer your question, no I wasn’t saying that other experiences are nowhere near as legitimate as my own. How did you even manage to get that from what I was saying? When in fact, the point of my example was to show how different perspectives can be. After reading Damon’s part of the post I felt like he couldn’t wrap his head around why some women don’t want to be approached on the street (or in any other venue where the point is not to meet and mingle) basically the cold approach. He said he didn’t agree that the cold approach shouldn’t be used at all (and I’m sure a lot of people have met their boos in that very way) so I just wanted to speak to how I felt about the cold approach.

        Damon also said: “I’m bringing this up because we (men) have a tendency to downplay or just completely ignore the fact that while the world is a dangerous place for all of us, it’s even more dangerous for women. It’s almost like how (some) White people will downplay or completely ignore the effect racial profiling can have on us.” Which I also felt spoke to what I said to Bunni oh so long ago. I felt like even in saying he wasn’t trying to be dismissive he still didn’t get it because other points he made showed he didn’t get. And probably never really could because again going back to my original point, he’s walking through the same space but from a completely different perspective.

        ETA: Oh and if there’s a smaller man on here that has gotten “hemmed up by some women” or a larger woman that has never even broken her stride at the sight of dudes on the corner then please attest to that.

        • Yoles

          i am a larger woman… many ppl from VSB has met me irl… i stay crossing streets and dodging eye contact… i can be harassed, robbed, raped, my personal space invaded, disrespected, made to feel awkward etc… so because i am bigger i am now the hulk?? maybe i am not understanding the question

    • T.Q. Fuego

      I believed that before. Then I saw two separate occasions where fellas hollered at chicks who were occupied (one with headphones on, the other fiddling with her phone) and the chicks gave them not only the time of day, but their number….I was stunned and no longer knew what to believe. I walked away like “I guess I just been making excuses this whole time” smh

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    Please free me, PJ! Thanks.

  • Tia_Sunny

    The way to approach a woman is not to be disrespectful and going over board with it. I remember one kept yelling aye bay bay aye bay bay at me I was like he can not be serious.

    • Oshun

      the aye bay bay ones always manage to make me smile because of how ridonc their approach is.

      • Tia_Sunny

        Lol I just ignore it and go about my business I am just confused on what possibly could make them think that is okay.

        • T.Q. Fuego

          I hear what yall are saying, but out of curiosity why do you think it is that when it comes to this subject especially, yall have invested a lot of time and words into what’s NOT okay and unacceptable, but little to no time explaining what IS acceptable? There’s no rulebook or set of agreed upon standards out here for interested men. There’s just a long list of “Don’ts”. What gives? When is someone gonna let a brother know what IS ok? #illwait

          • jazzyLia

            According to what I’ve seen there are only two main “do’s”

            1. be attractive
            2. have game

            • T.Q. Fuego

              @JazzyLia- I agree with you. The aspect of this convo that women don’t think much about is #2. The only way for a guy to develop it is trial and error (and even then what has worked a lot in the past might be a terrible idea with the most recent chick he saw). So the brothers are certainly right in telling the women who complain the most (and make the most “don’t do this” lists) to get over themselves (or do your own approaching if that’s how you feel). Lack of empathy in a woman is so unattractive

              • jazzyLia

                See, that’s one of those life gems that should be passed down from father to son. I watched my father educate his nephews on approaching and talking to women. He also included me in the conversation so I’d learn what was acceptable to respond to and what wasn’t. I know with the amount of single parent households conversations like that don’t happen, but they should.

                • T.Q. Fuego

                  I agree, but you know what? It’s not just single parent households. I don’t think as many (middle class) black fathers out here aren’t giving any types of talks like that with their children (cause they’re all married and Christian and whatnot) as people think. I wish more did like your father did. My dad was a great father, but he left us completely on our own when it came to women, s*x, and relationships in general. We had to figure it out on our own, but I won’t let that be the case with my sons if I have any (or my nephews). That aspect of a boy/man’s life sets the tone for everything else to be honest with you. We gotta stop treating it like it’s trivial or like “either you got it or you don’t.” We’re setting our young males up for failure (and resentment of themselves and women).

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I said calling me a “queen” was acceptable. Many VSS disagreed though. I can only speak for me and what works for me. Men are the same in what they find attractive about a potential mate. It will ALWAYS vary. There is no right answer, the limit does not exist.

            I’d like my cookie for answering your question sir.

            • T.Q. Fuego

              Oh I got more than just a cookie for you Queen ;)

              Seriously though, the way they shut down your acceptable approach speaks volumes to what all the men hear have been saying the whole time. I don’t get what’s the point in going so hard dissing the approaches that don’t tickle your fancy (not you, but the ones who complain). That’s not gonna make anything better. What will make things better is if women start talking more about the approaches that they liked, or the ones that took them from “on the fence” to “I’m interested in this guy now”. It seems like common sense to me. You wanna produce a better reality, why not have a more productive conversation?

              • Todd

                Personally, it’s a case of people protesting too much. In my experience, when people go hard in the paint on an issue disproportionate to its actual value, they have something major they’re hiding.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                USE THE WORD QUEEN!

                If it doesn’t pull you some high brow woman, you can at least expect a positive response from a woman who barely has her GED. But you can recite Drake quotes to these types of women and expect the floodgates of love to rush over you.

          • BreezyX2

            Just Me The Guy: Honestly, I don’t have the time for the do’s and don’t of cat calling because everyone man who is into approaching a woman this way has 20eleven different ways of doing so…all of which some women may or may not find offensive *shrug*

            So I am of this mindset….it is what it is, its what some men do and my default response every single time it happens is to smile, say thank you and keep it moving. I can only control me and the things I allow to offend me.

            • T.Q. Fuego

              Yeah, I hear you Breezy. I have no problem with that. Whenever chicks smile and keep it moving i’m always like “Oh well, no harm no foul”. I only asked that to show them how they weren’t helping the convo at all. Maybe they were just trying to vent though. Either way I didn’t expect them to actually answer my question. To ask it is to answer it. There’s no one right answer to the question, hence all the confusion. It’s the wild wild west for single men once you graduate college.

          • Tia_Sunny

            Uh I would say approach in a respectable and calm manner, at the right time. Be nice, funny, and charming. That would be okay with me :) I don’t think that is asking too much.

            • T.Q. Fuego

              Fair enough (except for the “at the right time” part). That’s what I do anyway because I can’t help it. Everybody gets respect from me until they disrespect me first. You gotta be careful though, everybody’s sense of humor isn’t the same. What’s funny (or even “nice”) to him might be rude or offensive to you. The reason men are confused out here is because most of this game is about judgment calls and subjective “preferences” so it’s not surprising that so many men come wrong. Which is why at the end of the day, people usually end up with those who are right for them.

              • Tia_Sunny

                Well then I don’t know an acceptable approach now since reading your response :( I never have been approached in the manner I want so… It is about judgment calls I guess. But see the men that come wrong to me have been just completely rude and aggressive its like they should have known better than that any approach than that, I have given out my number just to make then go away and I felt like I was bullied to do so. “at the right time” I guess for me and maybe for other women would be when I don’t have a lot my mind, not busy, and am in a decent mood.

                • SuperStrings

                  “I never have been approached in the manner I want so… ”
                  Never ever?!?

                  • Tia_Sunny

                    Yup never ever, I think it has to do with the area where I live it is not a hood area but it has its moments. Well this worker at CVS has been trying lately, ever time I come in, he was kind of in the direction of the approach, but not quite and he catches me at the wrong time.

                    • SuperStrings

                      “Yup never ever”
                      This saddens me. Makes me want to stand outside of CVS just to try and offer something different, but that sounds kind of like stalking. lol

                    • Tia_Sunny

                      Awww :) :) Lol!!! Thanks, I would be flattered.

          • Oshun

            @ T.Q Fuego,

            What IS ok?! C’mon, common sense is what is OKAY! Would you want somebody to holler at your sister like “Aaayo, your tiddies make me wanna….?” If not, then approach that girl like you would want your sister approached, with decency and respect. What’s so hard about that?

            • T.Q. Fuego

              I wouldn’t know how my sister wants to be approached. It’s never been something I had to think about. I would imagine a stranger would have even less insight. Common sense is subjective Mami, you know this. Stop actin like I’m bein ridiculous guhl :P

              • Oshun

                You are complicating a very simple matter, as far as I am concerned. Since when did common sense become so subjective, specifically as it concerns interactions with the opposite gender that it requires ya’ll to be cued as to what is okay? All we are asking is for ya’ll to be respectful. Do we now need to break down what we deem to be respectable? Uh uh, you are not being ridonc, just a little extra. I still heart you bro!

                • T.Q. Fuego

                  Lol, you would know all about extra so Imma take ur word on it. Seriously though, I expected u to trivialize it by saying I was overcomplicating it (that’s pretty typical on this site), but it’s not extra to ask for some universal rules (even though I don’t need them, thousands of shy but intelligent brothers read this site daily). They don’t need you to tell them what’s respectful. They need you to give them ideas about what’s effective.

                  “All we are asking is for ya’ll to be respectful.”

                  Right, but you’re preaching to the choir here, cause that’s obvious. None of us here have that problem, so we’re just politely asking yall to say something helpful for once :P

                  • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

                    Fuego: For some reason you’re insistent on pretending that some men have no clue how to approach women without harassing them. Fine. Although I don’t buy it and think you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing, I’ll play along for a minute, ok? Here are some things you SHOULD do when approaching women (keep in mind though that this isn’t universal and that each woman is different):

                    -You should say “Hello!” or “Good morning!” or “How’re you doing?” versus commenting on a woman’s body or telling her what she should do with her face (i.e. smile)

                    -You should try to get her attention with eye contact (NOT leering though!) and politely smile at her. If
                    she doesn’t smile back or avoids eye contact, she’s likely not interested or too busy to talk to you.

                    -You should respect her space. (This one is pretty self-explanatory. If you’re confused though, I’d be happy to elaborate!)

                    -You should comment on something other than her physical qualities. If you’ve approached her, it’s
                    pretty obvious that you think she’s attractive, so commenting on her body/face/hair isn’t necessary, and frankly, rude. Is she wearing a t-shirt with your favorite band? Say, “Hey there! I like [insert band name here], too!”

                    Is she reading an interesting-looking book? Say, “Hey! What’s your book about? Looks interesting!”
                    (NOTE: Some women do NOT like to be interrupted while reading. Again, each woman is different!)

                    I hope this answers your question. Now go get ‘em tiger! ;)

                  • Oshun

                    “They need you to give them ideas about what’s effective”….now I get your point.

    • Agatha Guilluame

      Lol. Yeah and don’t call me “shorty” if you’re eye level with my neck.

      • Tia_Sunny

        Lol most of the guys that try to talk to me I am taller than too.

      • Msdebbs

        Or “Ma” I’m not your mother.

        • John Shannon

          There are Women who like that, or else New York Guys would not be as cocky as they are

  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

    I don’t know what is the best way to approach a woman but I personally enjoy men who call me “Queen”. I’d be hard pressed to give you a hard time if you call me a Queen and wax poetic about how I remind you of the mother land.

    • DG

      You can’t call a woman “Queen” without having a backpack full of oils that you trying to sell to her…maybe a lil’ Nag Champa thrown in for the full effect…

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        And you must be wearing a kufi and have beads around your neck.

        • DG

          …And cowrie shells…gotta be some cowrie shells somewhere in the vicinity.

          • http://uphereoncloud9.com/ Wu Young

            There must be some earth toned clothes and a tattered Bob Marley tee somewhere in this scenario for it to be true.

        • SuperStrings

          “I’m sicka n!ggas lookin’ bych tryna read poems/then try to battle me wit sandals and capris on/come on dawg” -Phonte

      • Oshun

        @DG,
        Agreed. But why do some if not most, of these dudes that be queening women be looking like Jesus handed them the cross while walking up that mountain to be crucified. Missing teeth, unkempt dreadlocks, unlotioned hands, long nails that are brown due to cigarrete stains, bloodshot eyes. ….

        • Obsidian Files

          Oshun,
          You are confirming what I’ve said in my commentary – that, to the extent street harassment is an issue, is more of a commentary on race and class as it relates to Men, more than anything else; those who offend tend to come from the lower end of the SES scale.

          Now – I wonder what manner of “social justice” could we apply to that state of affairs…?

          O.

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Nope, all he needs is a bean pie…

        *swoons and thinks about the man who gave me a bean pie and told me who evil white men are*

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          I could go for a nice cool bean pie slice right about now.

      • WIP

        If a guy calls me queen or sister, I assume he’s selling something.

    • Oshun

      Jesus, AP! Say what now? I HATE that word, queen. It’s so used, abused, and needs to be retired. It has lost its glory and jeneskwa.

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        *shrug* I don’t think it’s used enough. I get a tingle in my lower back when it’s directed towards me. Maybe people call you Queen often, I don’t hear it enough.

        • Oshun

          Dang. Well if it has that kind of affect on you, imma let them finish…

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      queen just doesnt fit my steez, it just makes me sound like a douche….or wale.

      • http://uphereoncloud9.com/ Wu Young

        I agree, Tristan. For me “Queen” reeks of trying a little hard. It’s like dudes who keep calling you “brother” all of the time. Can’t trust it.

        • BreezyX2

          *nods head* Yup!

    • Todd

      My Black Nubian Queen…Ain’t no naan ninja! ;-)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCGV4MV5J2M

    • Freebird

      queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, queen

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        *flips hair*

        Hay boo ;-)

        • Freebird

          *flips hair*

          Hay boo ;-)

          for some of us, sometimes that is all a ninja needs.

          * leaves with chest out to go save the world.*

    • Shamira

      Really? Cuz the 5 Percenters round NYC do the most with that Queen stuff

      “Oh my beautiful nubian Queen,
      I saw you round the way with with my third eye (points to forehead),
      And I just had to approach you my Nefertiti Goddess,
      Do you overstand this math I’m providing you?”

      • Yoles

        don’t forget “ebony empress”
        those dudes make me laugh… next are the nubian islamic israelites (once they stop screaming at other passerby’s) with their offerings of marriage and taking you back to the commune in georgia

        • Shamira

          Randomly enough there is a strong portion of black orthodx jews in my neighborhood. I give em a screwface everytime they pass by me lol

        • Shamira

          “ebony empress”

          AND its always paired with someone non-ebony, like Cleopatra. Like, bruh, do you know your history?

      • Rachmo

        DEAD

      • SuperStrings

        Made me think of “n!ggas wit dread, call theyself gods, wit white girls names Caitlin”

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        I eat that all up too. This poet reeled me right in with those lines and then some.

        • Yoles

          Noooooooo say it aint so AP… i guess you would love NYC…

        • Shamira

          you need to move to Philly then, lol. Beanie hats and scented oils everywhere. You like beards?

          • Yoles

            i LOVE going to philly just for the beards… yum..yum..yum

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I AM BEARD GANG FOR LIFE!

            Lead me to the promised landdddddddd

          • Rachmo

            I used to live in South Philly. So..many…beards…yes

            • Shamira

              Man…a nice beard is the business. But only if its on the softer side. Making out with a super scratchy beard can be very irritating to the skin, especially since facial skin is more sensitive.

              …or so ive heard. from friends.

              • Rachmo

                Omg when men have soft beards…JESUS I CANNOT DEAL! I’m at work let me get myself together.

                • Todd

                  *Googles facial hair conditioner*

                  • Rachmo

                    I approve this message

          • Vanity in Peril

            I live in Philly and ashy dique onk wearing dudes are in triplicate in every school house, lakehouse and outhouse from here to Delaware.

        • Shamira

          ive been sucked in once or twice, but mostly cuz I was in a phase when i was REALLY into locs, and theres a pretty high correlation between locs and those kinda guys. But I can only do so many spoken word shows…

      • T.Q. Fuego

        “I saw you round the way with with my third eye (points to forehead)”

        #flatlined #resurrectmeplease #lmao