Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

On Every Argument That’s Ever Occurred In Any Relationship That’s Ever Existed

We’ve heard the story before

Boy sees Girl at semi-annual Kappa indoor kickball fundraiser for gout research afterparty. Boy approaches Girl and Girl, tipsy, slightly annoyed by the realization that two guys she crushed on in college just got married to each other in a wedding more beautiful than any she’d possibly have, and slightly ovulating, appreciates the gesture. They talk, exchange numbers, date, find out that they actually aren’t annoyed by each other’s presence, have an appropriate amount of C-plus to A-minus sex, and, in a couple month’s time, go from being “Boy” and “Girl” to “Boy and Girl.”

Fast forward six months. Chicken processing farm next to Girl’s office catches fire, releasing a stench that forces her to leave the office despite not finishing an important project. This is just the latest in a series of tiny disappointments that have recently occurred in Girl’s life, and Girl’s mood is (expectedly) shitty. Girl calls Boy to pick her up from work. Boy, partially because he had a couple other not really all that important things to do, and partially because he’s kind of a lazy bastard, shows up 15 minutes late. This is usual for him. Usually it’s no big deal, but today his lateness has dire consequences, as now Girl’s entire pants suit — a pants suit she was planning on returning to Rainbow that weekend, mind you — smells like chicken livers. And, as everyone knows, if you go outside smelling like chicken livers, a squirrel just might try to f*ck you.

Girl didn’t tell Boy about how important it was to be on time today, but, as she screams when she gets in the car, “Dammit, Boy! How the f*ck can I expect you to make sure our kids get vaccinated in time if you can’t even pick me up from work on time?”

Boy’s all like “Whoa…wait. What the hell are you talking about? We don’t have any kids. And, it’s not my fault you smell like the produce section at Save-a-Lot. You should have told me how serious your situation was. I would have been on time.”

Girl, now stripping and rubbing hand sanitizer all over her body to rid self of the chicken liver scent, replies “That’s the point. You should have been on time anyway. Why do I have to remind you to do something you’re supposed to f*cking do? How can I expect you to do anything important for me if you can’t be trusted to do something so simple?”

Boy mumbles “My goodness, you’re insane” under his breath while exhaling and shaking his head.

Girl (who’s now sitting in the passenger seat completely naked with white tube socks on): “What?’

Boy: “I’m just saying. It’s not fair. You’re expecting me to read your mind. If you would have told me that the chicken plant exploded, I would have been on time.”

Girl: “And if you would have just been on time — like any normal adult would have been — this wouldn’t be happening right now.” Girl points at her ankles and, lo and behold, a baby squirrel (don’t ask how it got in the car) is down there humping her leg.

“Now I gotta walk around all day smelling like chicken livers and baby squirrel semen, and you’re still trying to give me some bullshit excuse.”

Boy, doing his best “I’m technically apologizing but I’m annoyed now too and you’re gonna know how annoyed I am” apology “I’m sorry. If I would have known you’d be naked in my car with chicken liver in your pores and squirrel semen on your socks, I would have been on time.”

Girl, now staring out the window: “F*ck you. I should have just caught the bus.”

Boy: “I agree.”

Whose side are you on? (And why?)

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at Or don't. Whatever.

  • Pierre

    Firs! Please let me be first! *hopes*

    • Pierre

      Oh I am first :) well I can finally sleep.

      • Jay

        You’re not the only one sleeping… I’m looking at you Liz.

        • Pierre

          O.o What if I say I’m looking back eh?

        • nillalatte

          LOL… @Jay. His just wasn’t as classy as yours, huh? ;)

  • Jay

    I personally call BS on the whole scenario. What red-blooded male can muster enough focus to be annoyed enough to argue with a naked woman pre-coitus??

    • Tanisha

      Bahaha for real though!

    • Iceprincess2

      You didn’t read jay. It wasn’t pre-colitis. They were driving in the car & she was stinking like chicken parts. The only thing having sex was the squirrel!

      • Jay

        LOL. Spoken like a true female. In the male mind if we JUST had sex then that moment is post-coital, aside from that EVERY. OTHER. WAKING. MOMENT. is pre-coital.

        • Iceprincess2

          Lol! Gotcha.

      • DG

        For both their sakes, I hope it wasn’t pre-colitis…no one needs to be trying to get it in then…

        • Jay

          LMAO. I caught her faux pas but was gonna let it slide.

          • DG

            Naw, folk…I couldn’t let that one go….lmao.

            • Iceprincess2

              It was autocorrect! *face palm*

              • nillalatte

                LOL… I’m sitting here wondering WTH are they referring to. I actually had to google the word to realize the misspelling. LOL… good night folks.

    • msdebbs


    • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago

      A naked woman that smells like dead chicken though. You DO realize her Nani prolly smell like that too, right pimpin’? But hey, if you’re into the whole Fowl Play thing (teehee), then do what makes you happy. I’m not gon judge. And by saying “I’m not gon judge”, I’m really saying that you’s a nasty muthaf*cker.

      • DG

        Well-played on the pun, young sir….well-played indeed.

      • Jay

        Cuzzo, I see with my eyes, not my nose. And without question she’s heading for a long steamy shower as soon as we touch down. Just saying my mind would already be drawing up the x’s and o’s of the play I’m about to run for that warm, damp, mid-afternoon, Bed, Bath, & Beyond scented makeup sex.

        • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago

          I see with my eyes as well. But I smell with my nose. I’m not drawing anything up so long as she smelling like that in my car. At least not until I gleefully hit the highway so I can hit her with that “Window Down” treatment.

          • African Mami

            iCan’t with your foolishness my crater inducing lover!

        • Aly


        • yeah…i’m just gonna have to disagree there. lol. i mean that might be how you get down…but it is possible to be turned off of even a naked woman sitting in front of you.

          • Rewind

            It’s possible to be turned off by a fully naked beautiful woman smelling like a Hawaiian waterfall or a strawberry field if the mood plays out right.

      • nillalatte

        Cute. Very cute. :)

      • *applause* Well played there, TUKmeister. Well played.

      • sincereluv4life

        It sounds like Jay’s comin from the perspective of being around a naked woman he’s in love w/……if the love is there then yeah, he’d prolly wanna clean her up & get it on later cuz the chemistry will be right…. but if it’s just some naked angry chick in tube socks who you’re not really in love w/ like that then TUK’s perspective makes more sense aka “Window Down Treatment” LOL!

    • haha… yes, I totally agree……. the best thing men can learn when dealing with most women is learning how to apologize when you’re not wrong.

  • Cheech

    I feel bad for the guy and although he should be on time that’s no reason he should get his head bitten off. He is helping her out

  • WMCutie04

    Wow…. I am W.E.A.K. from this scenario because its soooo true. I mean yes naturally as a woman you are thinking “WTH, dude, you should just be on time!” However, I think the crucial statement that this argument turns on is – “usually its no big deal.” As my momma says, “Don’t put up with today that which you know you can’t put up with forever.” Women are CONSTANTLY allowing stuff to slide that annoy them only to throw that back in someone’s face later on. I, clearly, am not guilty of such a heinous transgression lol… but this is the crux of the problem. Don’t be passive aggressive to keep your man or something along those lines. You could have saved yourself the trouble by just finding a man that is always on time (or picks up his laundry or takes out the trash), unless his the chicken factory next door blows up landing pounds of chicken on his car.

    • passive aggressive? Or having a lowkey breakdown because of a crisis that doesn’t occur under normal circumstances?

      • she’s clearly having a lowkey breakdown, however….how is he supposed to know that? if dude is always late, then he’s never late. closed mouths don’t get fed.

        that argument wouldn’t have had any legs with me. we’d have been two silent motherlovers in the car. you’re right, i’m late. but you dont get to bite my head off. you just don’t.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          + PJacks, exactly!

        • Rewind

          Yet it never plays out that way, because the low-ball expectation she had NEEDS to be fulfilled, despite the fact that she never says anything about it, and just naturally assumes if you are with her, you should just do BETTER.

          And this is why we have blogs like VSB, because this is the shyte that turns us all bat shyte crazy.

        • Because she never called you on your sh*t, doesn’t make it any less sh*tty..

          • “Because she never called you on your sh*t, doesn’t make it any less sh*tty..”

            And the choirs sang, the heavens opened and the benediction plate was passed

          • this is true. however, you can’t complain if somebody doesn’t “do right” according to yoru standards if you never lay them joints out.

            maybe he’s from a country where time is a concept and not an actuality. lol.

            • Or… maybe he’s a jerk who is disrespectful of your time and she naively believes in the goodness of people and that 7:00 means 7:00, not 7:15. She’s stubborn about those numbers I guess…

              • maybe she is. and i’m not saying dude is right for being late. however, if dude is ALWAYS late…ALWAYS…at what point does it become your own fault for dealing with somebody who cant do what you require, even if its the smallest thing? serious question.

                • A Woman’s Eyes

                  When people show you who they are the first time (and second, and third, and fourth, and fifth) believe them! And stop expecting grown men (and women) to act any differently than they have a pattern of behaving. Women of the world, learn!

                  • nillalatte

                    “stop expecting grown men (and women) to act any differently than they have a pattern of behaving.”

                    So true, AWE. So true.

        • misstlb

          This right here! Let a person know! Than we wouldn’t be having this problem. You can get mad all you want I am not the one to justify you not telling me what is going on in your world.

    • OS

      Yep! Can’t complain about things you’ve accepted. It leaves room for someone to call you crazy.

    • “Women are CONSTANTLY allowing stuff to slide that annoy them only to throw that back in someone’s face later on.”

      Guilty as charged! But I don’t do it to keep my man. I also do this with friends (male and female). My pride prevents me from displaying emotions or showing that something got to me…until it’s too late, of course. Then I explode.

      Hi, FBI people. I meant that figuratively.

      • nillalatte

        “Then I explode.
        Hi, FBI people. I meant that figuratively.”

        LMAO…. I’m wondering if I’m the only one that understands this reference. :D

    • Rewind

      See that’s the problem right there. IT IS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY to do things like pick a woman up from work. It is a gesture. It is not written in stone that these things NEED to be done. People WANT them done. Very huge difference.

      Fine, if a woman has problems with tardiness, it is understandable that she might let it slide once or twice, but speak her mind the third time. However, depending on the situation, punctuality may not be the thing he cares about as much as she does. Does he have to step up his game to meet her expectation? NO. Should he want to? YES. See?! Big difference.

      These things are not rights, they are interactions, and interactions are VOLUNTARY. There is a choice involved. No woman has the right to command shyte in the same way no man has the right to command shyte. This is why egos are the most devestating and destructive parts of any relationship, because personal opinions about what one should have are not intuned to reality about what one DESERVES.

      • Marshal

        *in my Denzel/American Gangster voice*

        My Man……… ^5

        • Rewind

          Damn right

      • A Woman’s Eyes


        • Rewind

          Now gimme my hug

          • Breezy

            You may have a chocolate chip cookie. *opens cookie jar for Rewind*

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            *gives him the church hug because he has a woman already*

    • Hilarious post. I agree partly about the “Usually” crux. Once any behavior pattern is accepted over time it becomes the norm, no matter how bad the behavior. That includes guys tolerating a woman’s craziness, which is another problem for another day…

  • I would say that I am #TeamBoy but that statement isn’t strong enough. He manned up by definitively stating that it wasn’t fair and that he wasn’t a mind-reader.

    *raises glass* Cheers to him.

    • Jay

      lol… “Girl I’m not a mind reader, how am I supposed to know that when you said pick you up at 5:15 that you actually meant 5:15?!? F*ck I look like?”

      • Kema

        Ugh!!! See… That right there makes me team girl.

      • Alls I’m saying is that a little added emphasis would have the girl in this scenario smelling like Bath & Body Works and not chicken livers.


      • curlygirl

        yes, people keep saying she didn’t communicate. She said 5:15, how much clearer does she need to be? That’s why i tend not to mess with anyone where i have to restate the obvious. “we need to leave at 5, like for real 5” said me never. many friends and family have missed their rides with me to plays/events, shared shuttles to the airport, or have arrived at dinner to find I’ve already ordered and perhaps have already begun eating. If I say 5 and you need it to be 5:30 or 6 than just say that. Why should i sit around waiting for you for an hour while you do other things when we can just agree to meet an hour later and everybody gets to do whatever things they need to do?

  • Tanisha

    The “Girl” has it! You don’t even have to be a mind reader to know to pick someone up on time because they TOLD you what time to be there. If “Boy” had made it a priority he would have been there. If not, he would have at least had a much better excuse lol. This was HILARIOUS though!

    • Just for Today

      But she knew he was always late, so if she wanted him at 5:15 she should have said “be here by 4:45 please”.

      Just like when certain folks say the party starts at 9, I know not to even try to roll up there until after 10:45, if then. They are never ready on time.

    • like i just said upthread…if he’s always late, then he’s never late.

      if there is an emergency, you clearly state that an emergency exists. you cant get pissed if there’s a fire and nobody rushes to your aid b/c you aint tell them. you cant expect people to just figure out how important something is to you.

      • Caballeroso

        Well stated.

      • Rewind

        That’s the problem. Too many women want men to respond to everything as an emergency, but don’t realize that is exactly why some men get so annoyed when it comes to doing things for their women. If you treat everything like it requires my immediate attention, eventually I just won’t give a shit, because you wasted my time so much. Now when something important does happen and I still don’t care, I won’t realize the severity of the situation until it boils over.

        In essence, the “Girl Who Cried Wolf” issue is something many people have had issues with.

        • SweetSass

          Being on time is not an emergency it is Basic Courtesy 101. Did your parents not teach you manners? I know they did.

          • Rewind

            Courtesies are still a choice. You choose to be late, choose to be early, or choose to be on time. IT IS NOT A MUST. The world does not wait hand and foot on what we want.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Apparently people don’t have the same parents that you do.

            • Rewind

              Thank God for that shyte. I’d fawking kill myself.

        • misstlb

          I wouldnt even call that an emergency. Just a heads up to your man that i need for you to pick me up on time. Something happen than he is aware and if he any ounce of respect for you he would ask what’s going on.

          • Rewind

            I get that. But realistically if a woman was in such a situation, she’d be stressed. And stressing means quick to anger, and in a good relationship, your partner is the first person who can help take away the stress. So I would think if you call for that pick up, you just let them know “hey, could you come get me on time, it’s been a bad day”. Right away, we should know you need us and we can be there on point. I’m not excusing the lateness, but the scenario showcases how things are when both parties are complacent…she expects him to do as she asks, and he just doesn’t care.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Would would would shoulda couldas

            but he didn’t!

            Accept that reality! Breathe! Relax! Relate! Release the man if he’s getting on your nerves being late. Stop talking about WOULDS and talk about what IS.

      • WIP

        Our story said this was usual, not definite. Also, if we are imagining real life scenario I have a hard time believe no comment about “please be on time” was made because this is just what people do when they need people to be on time.

  • Kiesh

    this sounds very much like those “I wish he would do more around the house w/o me having to ask” arguments. If you want him to do the dishes, just ask. If ur having an emergency, say so. I just can’t see arguing over this.

    • Manny

      Yeah, those arguments are stupid. BUT, it’s like asking someone to apologize. If I had to ask you weren’t planning to do it, so it’s not genuine.

    • Chanelle

      “this sounds very much like those “I wish he would do more around the house w/o me having to ask” arguments. If you want him to do the dishes, just ask. If ur having an emergency, say so. I just can’t see arguing over this.”

      Yep…see this is me! Im not gonna argue with you about something i think you should want to do! I realize most people place themselves as priority and no one wants to be inconvienced… i’d rather just tell you what to do than expect you to want to do it! Besides who the hell wants to do the dishes….certainly not me. And as for the story, im on neither side. He should have been on time to begin with (tardiness is a pet peeve of mine) and she should have told him what kinda situation she had goin on to begin with (and honestly thats not a situation i would be too upset about)

      • But not many people like to do housework. I’m not going to argue with him about something I don’t even like to do myself LOL

        • Chanelle

          Yep! My point exactly

    • i HATE those arguments. closed mouths don’t get fed.

      • Yes. Because men can think for themselves and just do the right thing. They need to be told constantly. Be on time. Clean up your mess. Plan for delays. Like a child. I keep forgetting men never fully grow up and women are just crazy for expecting them to.

        • Rewind

          No, you just keep attaching yourselves to people who don’t give a fawk and expecting the scenario to change when you keep approaching it with the same lame ass tactics.

          Annoying the fawk out of someone doesn’t change the fact that they don’t CARE. If you want someone to care…guess what? FIND SOMEONE WHO CARES!

          If he was a fawking slob when you met him, your presence doesn’t mean jack shyte in changing that. If he was lazy when you met him, your constant bytching won’t change the fact that he is lazy. Stop trying to change people and learn to see people as they are BEFORE you commit so much into them.

          • Wait, what is she wrong for now? I can’t keep up. First she was wrong for not saying anything before.. Now she’s wrong for choosing a man who is late all the time in the first place. Downthread you are saying she would be wrong for telling him to be on time too much, aka nagging. So…lessee shes wrong if she says something, shes wrong if she doesnt say anything, and shes wrong for being with him. And you’d probably say she would be wro g if she broke up with him for being late.

            I’m sorry, at what point does the man become responsible for being late?

            • SweetSass

              Ooh, holding a man responsible for his actions, gurl, you done stirred the pot now. Let the collective Hanes boxer briefs get all in a bunch.

              • Rewind

                I find it funny that between you & WC, a woman can’t ever be wrong, it always has to be the man’s fault. Period. I’m not even saying it’s not, I’m saying the fault belongs to both. But you’re both committed to the idea that women aren’t doing anything wrong.

                BULLSHIT. Yes women do fawk things up just as bad as men. No one is worse than the other. GET OVER YOURSELF.

                • nillalatte

                  Y’all are cracking me up, but yeah I have to agree with you Rewind. It takes two to tango. Communication is a two way street.

                  • Rewind

                    That’s all I’m sayng Nilla, rarely is there a situation where one person is soely to blame.

                • SweetSass

                  I never said women are never wrong… look at my post downthread, I go hard at criticizing ol’ hypothetical girl. I basically tell her, “Look at your life, look at your choices…”

                  But I have yet… seriously and earnestly… seen a single post… from a single male commenter (who is not Malik)… have men take responsibilities for when they are wrong. EVAR!!1!!1!!

                  My mind would be BLOWN if that were to ever happen.

                  • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago

                    “But I have yet… seriously and earnestly… seen a single post… from a single male commenter (who is not Malik)… have men take responsibilities for when they are wrong.”

                    Sooo, I take it you don’t frequent this blog very much, yes?

                    • Rewind


                    • Rewind


                  • Rewind

                    Nygga please, I say the same shyte everytime we have these discussions. So you are definitely full of it.

            • Rewind

              At what rate is a responsible for anything in your eyes since men are always the problem?

              Honestly, this is stupid. Both parties are WRONG and for arguments like the topic to occur, it means they have both been WRONG for a very long time. BOTH need to take respoinsibilities. She can’t assume shyte if she can’t prove shyte. He can’t do whatever he wants without a consequence of some kind. See! Both parties are WRONG.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              A man becomes responsible for being late if he gives a fluck. About your wellbeing. About the situation.

              Dudes who DGAF are the ones driving your car, has more free time than you, playing video games or sexing women behind your back and all a woman cares about is that he won’t be responsible for being on time to do something he didn’t think was that important.

              She’s been accepting his being late. In her denial of their wrong match with each other, she is fussing about his being late.

              Its BIGGER than late and BIGGER than the squirrel and chicken liver grease.

              This man DGAF about her wellbeing. So why would he GAF about being late? WHY???

              He can drive her car as long as he wants. While she’s stranded at her job with a squirrel and chicken grease.

              But the problem is just that he’s late as usual? Mmmkay

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            omg Rewind, YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            Life is too short to belittle a man for being how he’s always is.

            A man will SHOW you that he DGAF

            A man will SHOW you that he cares


            Pick better men! Pick compatiable women!!!

            • nillalatte

              “BELIEVE HIS BEHAVIOR”

              True. So true. You hitting home runs today AWE.

            • Rewind

              Se! Someone gets it. We choose the quality of people we surround ourselves with, ergo you can’t be mad at what kind of person they are, how they act, nor can you try to change them when you agreed to accept them as they were.

        • eh that’s a bit faulty no? like, women are just as guilty of all those as women are. so those aren’t gender specific. but the same goes both ways. you’re also assuming that in all situations, there is a right way to do things and that the man is less likely to do it.

          and yes, i fully hate those arguments b/c again, it comes down to expectations that are never spoken. if im always fuming b/c she plans and maps out my every weekend so taht we can do together things but i never say anything then i get mad b/c i never get time its the same argument right? or is that different b/c i should want to spend as much time with her as possible b/c i love her. why doesnt she KNOW to just give a brotha some breathing room?

          • Women do effed up things as much as men. But if you did something that hurts the other person, you are wrong. You don’t have to have previous notice that that thing would hurt them. Do they need to tell you not to steal the pens and post its at work before they have the right to fire you for it? You might have always done it and got away with it and think its ok because nobody said not to. But youre still wrong for doing it. You’re wrong before you get caught, not because you got caught. And you cant say they are wrong for firing your ass.

            • Rewind

              But that’s the thing, they are both wrong. She’s wrong for assuming something, and then taking out her frustrations on him when he didn’t know what was going on. He’s wrong for not being kind enough to be on time like she asked. So both deserve apologies.

            • here’s the problem with that (though i do agree to point), if you don’t know you’re hurting the other person b/c they let it go every single time, then what? hell, some folks don’t even consider themselves late b/c we live in a grace period society. unless you tell folks that when you say a certain time, i mean that hard and fast it aint completely implausible to think that all kinds of folks might be late. hell, thats why so many people are late in general.

              wrong is such a strong term when it comes to being late. i truly believe that. now i’m not a late person at all. i’m where i say i’m going to be when i say and it annoys me being late. but thats just personal and i come from a military household.

              rarely do i come across anybody who cares about time as much as i do. i just have to suck that one up. if my girl is late, i dont take tia s a personal affront, but she doesnt value time as much as i do mine and in the end it doesnt matter b/c being late isn’t one fo those thigns in life that’s really going to change,let’s be honest about that.

              so i just do things differently depending on who it is. and also, being late doesnt hurt me. its an annoyance, but annoyances are commonplace when two or omre are gathered in anybody’s name.

            • I”m going to slightly disagree with you. If you do something with the intent of hurting them then yes you are wrong. If them being hurt is a result but not the intent then you aren’t wrong. Just a result sometimes.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              The man’s actions are wrong to her expectations.

              And he DGAF that he is “wrong”.

              Nowhere in the story does it say he apologizes profusely after seeing the chicken grease and squirrel on her.

              As far as he is concerned, things were cool while he was driving her car while she was at work. He probably grabbed some lunch before he picked her up late, as usual.

      • SweetSass

        P, lemme put it to you this way…

        You live alone, right? When there are dirty dishes in your sink, do you not just wash them? Do you need your mama, aunties, etc. to call you up and remind you to get those dishes done?

        Why does this change when you are in a relationship? Why must you walk past dirty dishes and not do them. When you are later called out for letting them crust… you say that woman should’ve told you to do them earlier? This is extremely frustrating for women. How is it that you are suddenly an infant who cannot do the most basic things? You are really the one creating the conflict by being lazy and trying to get away with things… that grates on people nerves. That is the definition of being in the wrong.

        • LOL. That would be extremely frustrating for anybody. You think you all being late all the time isn’t frustrating for us, or inconsistently deciding when you want to be upset about something? That frustrates anybody. But yet those things happen and will continue to happen.

          And before you go considering males to be infantile, I actually think that you’re overstating women’s domestication and understating a man’s. I’m an extremely clean person. I pride myself on order and not creating a mess. Very few women I’ve encountered feel that way. And before you say some non-sense like date better women…i’m talking THE WHOLE HOUSE. Not just the rooms people see.

          Yeah, the closet too.

          • Iceprincess2

            +1000,000! I feel you Bruh. I keep my place clean as a hotel.

          • SweetSass

            I can see you being a clean freak. It goes along with the OCD level skincare you display most likely. Hahaha. I bet you shell out for them facials.

            • whatever. dont change the subject. lol.

              • SweetSass

                *sticks out her tongue* neener neener, make me!

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          If I was a man, my penis would commit suicide if you were talking to me like you were my mama fussing at me over some dishes when you knew I don’t wash no dishes when you met me, continued to date me and have sex with me.

          A grown adult is not required to care about the same things you, another grown adult cares about.

          BELIEVE his actions and quit trying to make him CARE about the dirty dishes.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Free me! I know its beause I used the ‘s’ word instead of saying smang.

          • Rewind

            And this here is EXACTLY why some men turn that switch off in their heads and stop giving a damn. I don’t need a parent, I need a partner. The minute someone comes wagging their finger in your face, berating you like a child, and basically soaking all of the testerone in the room into her damn pores, WHY THE HELL SHOULD I GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE? <–thoughts of most men even though they are too poooisay to say it.

          • Kopa

            A grown adult, when moving in with someone, realized they are going to have to compromise on some things they used to do. Whether it be reality tv, cleaning, going out, whatever, things are going to change.

            Reasonable adults should be able to discuss this. I would never assume someone will do the dishes because I decide it’s time to do the dishes. If it’s his turn, I’ll politely ask him to do them (doesn’t even have to be today, or right now), and then wait for him to act on it. This is providing you have agreed to take turns doing the dishes.

            Now, three days later, the dishes are not done. 1. I can do them myself, not say anything, and feel resentment. 2. I can remind him he was supposed to do them (which is considered nagging, right?) 3. I can do them myself, and make him feel like shit about effectively forcing me to do them.

            All this brought on by his inability to compromise.

            This has also happened when living with a woman, by the way.

    • curlygirl

      OAN can we just make this a given? If we don’t employ a maid or cleaning services, I will ALWAYS appreciate additional help with the housework.

    • +1

  • Iceprincess2

    Omg this is off topic but did anyone catch that political show “don’t sleep” on BET tonight? JJ from Good Times was on there cooning h.a.m. talkin bout he voting for Romney & Ann coulter is his bestie & he’s so glad to know her & they talk everyday. Smdh it was sad. He said they should send single mothers to War because they are so bitter/angry/evil. I tell you what, self hate is real & it’s a mug :-(

    • Anastasia!!!

      wow, I wish i had seen that.

      Isn’t TJ Holmes EYE CANDY??? Hmmm.

      • Iceprincess2

        Yes, yes he is.

      • TJ Holmes, like Jaquye Reid, left CNN for BET *weeps*

        • Anastasia!!!

          I know, like why did they do that????? They are trying to keep hope alive with our people, but me no know….

        • Val

          OMG, Jacque Reid destroyed her career going to BET. Her leaving CNN was one of the worst career moves of all-time. I can just hear Debra Lee snickering when Jacque accepted the job at BET and then in an evil voice saying, ‘I will ruin her!’. (evil laugh)

      • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago

        Geez. Women are so shallow. Ignoring his character and focusing on looks. I’m so glad men never do this. Ladies, it’s okay to admire someone for his personality, you know! Tsk, tsk. I’m glad men are able to control their lust. We almost never think about sex. Control your lust!

        • Jay

          I approve this message.

          P.S. Disregard all of my above comments. I was erm… hacked.

      • cynicaloptmst81

        Lawd, YES YESSS!

        …had to come out of lurker mode to co-sign, lol

      • WIP


    • Val

      BET is evil! Stop watching it before it’s too late!

    • Iceprincess2

      Just so yall know, none of that stuff he said was a joke either. He was dead azz. Everybody up there looked embarrassed for him. I’m not on FB or twitter, so I had to vent here. Sorry!

      • Val

        Actually I heard something about JJ and Ann being buddies. They’re both kind of irrelevant at this point so they probably sit around talking about the good ol’ days when they had careers.

        • Iceprincess2

          Okaaay?! Lol

        • Huh? How would those two even meet? Maybe JJ from Good Times is on his Sheryl Underwood steez fundraising for Republicans. Go figure. *shrugs*

    • nillalatte

      Does anything Ann Coulter ever say sound rational? But, JJ? For real? smdh.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      JJ and Ann Coulter were bumping uglies. And may still do.

      • Rockelle

        Not a cool mental picture. Think of puppies.

  • i’m on the boy’s side. you can’t expect people to read minds. especially in situations like this. as you said this type of stuff normally doesn’t happen. i can understand her frustations but she is taking it out on the wrong person.

  • The squirrel!

    • Hawaii

      This almost made me choke on my grape! :D

    • Crayolagirl

      You are ridiculous!!!

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