On A Scale From One To Joe Budden, How Bothered Is Donald Trump That He Lost The Election? » VSB

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On A Scale From One To Joe Budden, How Bothered Is Donald Trump That He Lost The Election?

I know, I know, I know. Darth Cheeto is currently the President of the United States. Which we’re reminded of each time we turn on the news or log onto the internet and see that he seems to be intent on using his presidential authority to prove that the rapey vat of curdled cheese whiz he calls a soul is truly bottomless. But he is President because we named him President. He did not actually win. At least not by any working and relevant understanding of what winning means. Despite Hillary Clinton running the most uninspired and uninspiring political campaign since Stannis Baratheon — and despite Russia, and despite Comey, and despite the Bernie Bros — she still won the popular vote by millions. Trump’s victory was essentially a spades game he only won because his opponent reneged. And he was talking across the table. And he put a crease in the big joker. And he took advantage of niggas’ drunkenness to add 50 points to his score when no one was looking.

The paradox of Trump — the “winner” who still has yet to actually win anything by himself — came to mind today as it was revealed that sentient Chernobyl-area test tube Donald Trump Jr definitely knew Russia planned to interfere with the election. And I couldn’t help to wonder how much it burns him — or if it burns him at all — that he needed all of this extra shit to happen to be named the winner, and still lost by two Philadelphias.

Of course, when asked about losing the popular vote, he dips that question in his whizzy vat of spin and pretends not to care. But as filled to the brim with the Whitest Hubris Ever as we know he is, we know that must sting like a motherfucker. So how much do you think it does? Does it bother him the way a pesky mosquito on a stoop bothers people? Or is he perpetually bothered? Did the election make him go full Joe Budden?

Personally, I think it’s somewhere in-between. Maybe he didn’t go Full Budden. But I’d guess he’s stereotypical-Black-uncle-when-he’s-asked-to-get-up-from-his-barcalonger-and-stop-watching-Suits-to-go-empty-the-trash level bothered. And that’s pretty damn bothered.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • BlackSpartacus
  • Janelle Doe

    And his sad inauguration ‘crowd’

  • PDL….HE still working on me

    “…..Darth Cheeto is currently the President of the United States. Which we’re reminded of each time we turn on the news or log onto the internet….”

    I was just thinking yesterday morning, EVERY day getting dressed for work I can ONLY hear of yet again some controversy he’s in or the latest on an existing…..this joker here. It is utterly ridiculous that this cat has been in office for over 6 months and the people have yet to hear of one solid accomplishment. And for all that he’s not accomplished, him and his gangster cabinet under constant scrutiny, he lives to blame Obama or Hillary. I’m tickled pink that neither them will respond to the shoddy attempts to bait. Hill have made a few comments but Obama is stellar. He dropped the mic on his way out with no need to dignify trump’s weak attempts.

    I mean, can we have one accomplishment? Talk about getting hoodwinked. LOL. Dude is gonna play this game for the next couple of years. His supporters won’t take up until he’s on his way out while leaving a trail of devastation behind him.

  • I went to Penn with “sentient Chernobyl-area test tube Donald Trump Jr.” He was in my class. I didn’t exactly know him, but I saw his penis. Not like that. It’s a long story, but trust me—I could have warned everyone back in ’98. And you know, I think his being “bothered” is outweighed by his ego.

  • Ugotfroomed

    LOL. I always appreciate your GOT references, sir.

  • I_AmU
  • Wizznilliam

    Man…. Come on. It is definitely a 1 on the scale. Dude been winning on his Daddy’s name since birth. All he cares about is the power and the money he is going to make during and after the presidency.

  • Wizznilliam

    I was about to get mad about the Bernie Bro comment.. But then you won me back over with the Spades reference so I just let it go.

  • I hope y’all talk about this Mayweather McGregor press conference tomorrow. Hilarious! Also, McGregor cleans up N I C E ! ! ! ! ! ! !

    • Alessandro De Medici

      Hehe…

      Mayweather’s gonna beat him pretty bad though.

      • We all know this. I’ll still watch though.

    • I truly hate that this is a thing.

      • miss t-lee

        Really though.
        Although his “f*ck you” suit was a nice touch.

        • It was.

          So many other good fights that can happen. I guess Stephen A is getting his jaw loose.

      • It’s here. It’s happening. Let’s just discuss Wu ?

        • I don’t like Connor and I just find Floyd to be a turd. This will not be entertaining.

          • So you won’t be watching?

            • Probably not, AP. Definitely not the PPV. I may catch it the next week on Showtime. I don’t like Floyd, and I don’t like his fighting style so I can’t get invested in this side show.

    • VeronicaMars

      It’s overshadowing a perfect fight: GGG vs Canelo, and ‘m tired of McGregor not fighting in the UFC.

      • I’m not well versed in boxing or MMA to even be able to respond to this. I just know the s h i t talking is a turn on.

        Also McGregors suit had “F U C K Y O U” written all over it lol

      • Epsilonicus

        I am hoping GGG whips dat a$$

      • Exactly!

    • Effrom Robinson

      Why is it when they are in each other’s face I think they’re going to kiss?

  • Phoebe Cohen

    ” Despite Hillary Clinton running the most uninspired and uninspiring political campaign since Stannis Baratheon ” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This made my day! She did run some beautiful ads tho. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vHGPbl-werw

    • Hugh Akston

      And America voted “yes”

      • Phoebe Cohen

        Putin weaponized White Mediocrity.

        • That was weaponized in 1776.

          • Phoebe Cohen

            Truth

        • ElusiveCupcake

          Fun fact: During the Cold War, the Russians regularly made propaganda aimed at the US stating “But you hang kneegrows.”

          • They surly did. Eleanor Roosevelt used to talk about this all of time. She said the Russians would be popping off at the UN about the same thing she would have to sit there and take it.

            The Russians don’t get a pass though. They just oppressed white folks.

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