On A Scale From One To Joe Budden, How Bothered Is Donald Trump That He Lost The Election? » VSB

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On A Scale From One To Joe Budden, How Bothered Is Donald Trump That He Lost The Election?

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I know, I know, I know. Darth Cheeto is currently the President of the United States. Which we’re reminded of each time we turn on the news or log onto the internet and see that he seems to be intent on using his presidential authority to prove that the rapey vat of curdled cheese whiz he calls a soul is truly bottomless. But he is President because we named him President. He did not actually win. At least not by any working and relevant understanding of what winning means. Despite Hillary Clinton running the most uninspired and uninspiring political campaign since Stannis Baratheon — and despite Russia, and despite Comey, and despite the Bernie Bros — she still won the popular vote by millions. Trump’s victory was essentially a spades game he only won because his opponent reneged. And he was talking across the table. And he put a crease in the big joker. And he took advantage of niggas’ drunkenness to add 50 points to his score when no one was looking.

The paradox of Trump — the “winner” who still has yet to actually win anything by himself — came to mind today as it was revealed that sentient Chernobyl-area test tube Donald Trump Jr definitely knew Russia planned to interfere with the election. And I couldn’t help to wonder how much it burns him — or if it burns him at all — that he needed all of this extra shit to happen to be named the winner, and still lost by two Philadelphias.

Of course, when asked about losing the popular vote, he dips that question in his whizzy vat of spin and pretends not to care. But as filled to the brim with the Whitest Hubris Ever as we know he is, we know that must sting like a motherfucker. So how much do you think it does? Does it bother him the way a pesky mosquito on a stoop bothers people? Or is he perpetually bothered? Did the election make him go full Joe Budden?

Personally, I think it’s somewhere in-between. Maybe he didn’t go Full Budden. But I’d guess he’s stereotypical-Black-uncle-when-he’s-asked-to-get-up-from-his-barcalonger-and-stop-watching-Suits-to-go-empty-the-trash level bothered. And that’s pretty damn bothered.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • rikyrah

    The stupidity of Jr. To detail it in email…??

    • HyperSpiral

      And the excuse they seem to be going with is “Well you see, Chris Hansen, since there are not actually any underage girls here, I’m off the hook!”

  • rikyrah

    Maddow’s opening segment from Last night is a must see.. connecting all the dots.

  • If he not getting impeached “ioncurrr”

    • StillSuga

      Nope, Not even a little bit

      • It’s annoying to see all this evidence being unearthed about how he did XYZ that’s illegal and still see his fat a s s sitting up in the oval office each day. If we not discussing him being dead or leaving that office “ioncurrr”

        • Alessandro De Medici

          I think they’re mostly factoids as opposed to evidence. They could in the long run be evidence, but they’re often lacking enough context for anything to amount on them. That said news papers and cable news don’t mind the hits.

          • Let me know when he chokes on a chicken bone.

            • LMNOP

              Or Putin’s *redacted*

              • I thought he was doing that daily?

              • cedriclathan

                He no longer has the gag reflex.

        • Epsilonicus

          It takes awhile. Nixon took 3 years to be removed. He even won an election during that time

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      I believe there is a European American phrase for this event

      Nothing burger

      • Alessandro De Medici

        I hate that word smh.

        • Floridallewis

          our friend’s mother makes $78 each hour on the internet. she has been fired from a job for two months, the previous month her check was $12769 only working on the internet a few hours. ?check

    • Janelle Doe

      Right ?!?!
      Though after watching Frank Underwood. I am starting to think that the only way 45 is leaving is by resignation

      • Phoebe Cohen

        I’ve lost all hope for that. Sigh. DJjr. Could tweet his dad sipping Russian hooker urine from a champagne flute and Congress and Middle America just. won’t. care.

        • Marieddietz

          our co worker’s mom makes $94 every hour on the internet and she has been out of work for 9 months but last month her pay-check was $20129 just working on the internet a few hours every day… ?go here? to this? site

    • I_AmU

      Imop you would not want Mike Pence to assume the presidency if 45 is impeached/resigns. Check out his record as governor of Indiana.

    • IPC

      Seriously! I’m tired of this

  • rikyrah

    Them throwing Jr. under the bus in order to save Kushner isn’t going to work.

  • rikyrah
  • Alessandro De Medici

    Trump is like the guy who used to dominate a basketball league and felt he was the greatest since Jordan…

    Only to find out he’s been playing on 8ft nets his entire life.

    • Janelle Doe

      So mediocrely yt?

      • Alessandro De Medici


        Inflated Overconfident mediocrity yt.

        • Sirx

          ……is there any other kind? :-/

  • Hugh Akston

    Since this morning didn’t get much of a chance to get on my phone because something called work

    But when I saw the notifications I really thought it was satire or it was a joke…it made no sense to me as to why he would release any of this information

    Logically why would you do this?

    And with power and greed I guess folks would go a long way to reach that…just thought people at the top were smarter than that?

  • cysinblack

    None of this is cool breeze news. He’s still in power and white people are still protecting him.

  • I initially read this as “Biden” and was hella confused lol?

  • Hmmmm… scale of one to Budden….

    I’m going with MC Shan.

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