**I think today’s the last day to vote for the Black Weblog 2009 awards. Since I’m Black, I actually forgot to vote my d*mn self. Ain’t that a shame. Spend all that time telling other people to vote and forgetting to do it myself. Anyway, get thee to the voting booth and vote for Very Smart Brothas in the categories up there to the right. If not for us, do it for the children. And Whitney. And yes, this should be the last you hear of this. Thank goodness. **
One of the best things a man can do to impress a woman early on is to surprise her. The only thing women love more than an LOL 
) text is a surprise. Of course, men love surprises too unless the surprise starts with “i’m late” and ends with “…gonna be a daddy.”
Something about that particular surprise just doesn’t take you to your happy place.
Anyway, one of the best surprises you can pull is to take a woman on a first date that she doesn’t expect. Picnics, parasailing, a hot-air balloon, Compton, you know, something out of the ordinary. If you take a woman out and keep her guessing, and she ends up at a place she hasn’t been before or sees something she’s never seen before, then she might turn around and do things she’s “never done” before. It’s a total win-win for everybody.
However, this can also go very, very badly. How bad? Real bad, Micheal Jackson. As in Conrad Murray bad. Especially when dealing with Black women. You see, Black women have special needs and circumstances that must be accounted for when planning a surprise date. Blame it on slavery. Blame it on the rain. Hell, blame it on the al-al-al-al-co-hol. Fact is, there are just certain roads you do not want to go down with Black women, first date or last date. So, given our crime-fighting credo-here at VSB, and our staunch pro-survivial-of-the-species stance, here are 7 surprise first dates that you should NEVER take a Black woman on.
(BTW, I’m well aware that some of these can go for a woman of any hue. Zip-a-dee-do-da. Kthxbi.)
1. Water Park (with a close runner up being an amusement park)
You know how Black women are about their hair and water. Add some wind into the mix and it’s all downhil from there, buddy. For one, unless you tell her where you’re going she’s definitely not going to be dressed for an amusement park. And that showing up with a bikini and thinking she’s going to be glad you bought her one? Yeah, not a good look. Putting your date in a bikini AND putting her hair in danger of going all Macy Gray = no nudity.
2. Yomamahouse
Though your mother’s house is a great place to eat 7 days a week, it’s a horrible place to eat with a woman who doesn’t quite know your last name (that’s a lie, she’s probably googled your a** 12 ways from Sunday). ESPECIALLY without notice. Plus, what if your mama can’t cook? Now she hates you AND she’s going to talk about your mama.
3. Your child’s practice
Let’s see. Kids? Outdoor events? Soccer moms? Man, so you’ve put your first date in the line of fire with bugs, single parentism, and women who knit for sport. Overall, this is a bad idea for anybody. Ever.
4. Wayne Newton concert
I’m saying, I like all kinds of music and I’d be mad as all hell if somebody took me to see Wayne Newton on a date. AND I LIKE WAYNE NEWTON. (That’s a lie actually.) I’d take Neil Diamond over Wayne Newton and I’d prefer to eat rusty sawblades than listening to Neil Diamond. So I can only imagine what a chick who loves Sade would feel like. No nookie.
5. Buffet (or any restaurant that you have a coupon for)
They don’t want no scrubs. You’re Black dude, I know you heard the song and loved TLC.
6. Babies ‘R Us
It’s bad enough that you’re taking her shopping and it’s not for her, but taking her shopping for your baby’s stuff? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit. Ain’t no Black woman taking care of no babies that ain’t hers. Until you marry her and then she’ll pretty much take care of all your kids fo’ free.
7. Habitat For Humanity House
As altruistic as Black women are, you kind of can’t let her show up for a date and force her to do physical labor. I mean, she might not want to do it but its for charity, she kind of has to. Plus, you drove so she will just have to the lone a**hole sitting around while everybody else is working. Basically, it’s just wrong to do this. Though, she’ll probably get some well needed community service points. You see what that did for Michael Vick.
So, what are some other first dates that you should never take a Black woman on? Remember, we’re trying to save lives here.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
I think these are all cool except yomamahouse and babies r us. I wouldn’t let anybody meet my mom before it’s real serious and I ain’t go not kids (It’s late and I’m feeling real southern right now).
But everything else seems like something you would do if you all talked before hand and she expressed interest in all the other things.
And I know a place where I can get half price gift cards for 4 star restaurants so you might see me pull out the coupon. I’m not broke, I’m practical. If she don’t like that well she can get on down (Again I’m feeling real southern).
@Trillionaire Wood,
Even with the half-off discount, going to a four-star restaurant for a FIRST date (read: just trying to feel you out a bit in person) seems a lil’ much to me. Unless I really just had a taste for one of their entrees myself and wanted some company, I wouldn’t do this unless it’s just for a drink or two.
We’re here on that one, Monk.
@Monk,
“going to a four-star restaurant for a FIRST date (read: just trying to feel you out a bit in person) seems a lil’ much to me.”
I agree. I don’t like ninjas who try too hard. I think the first 2 dates, at least, should be kind of casual.
@Trillionaire Wood,
I’m not broke, I’m practical. If she don’t like that well she can get on down (Again I’m feeling real southern).
I am a woman, and I approve this message. I need a practical man, not a show off. kthxbi (thanks Panama!
)
@Trillionaire Wood,
I like this reply. I don’t let ANYONE meet my family before a year of serious dating…
This dude just had me show up at, what turned out to be, his Grandma’s house AND his Mom stopped by…they were arguing like siblings…TRES UNCOMFORTABLE!
And I’m a foodie so I get the coupons too and do my restaurant thing so practical is good. Act like I don’t already have several reservations for Philly’s Central City Restaurant Week in September. (3 course meal for $35)
i don’t think any of these bad surprise dates are exclusive to just black woman (with the exception of number one). another place you should never take
mosta black woman on a first date: your crib. i think the jig is up. movie, liquor and your couch just doesn’t cut it.@Tunde,
iConcur with “their house” … no, men. Couches, beds, movies and liquor does not equal a date. I don’t care how your latest dvd bootleg is studio quality. Just no. lol
There have been exactly 4 men ever who didn’t try to use their house as the first date. Then, they wonder why I’m not interested after that.
Seriously, what’s with the picture?
@SaneN85,
So every man that meets you offers to chill on his couch for the first date, and you are confused on what that means?
@Dorian G.,
I’m confused by your question. I know exactly what they are getting at with that generous “offer”. Unfortunately, it’s the norm around here. They get away with it 99% of the time, so they stick with that tactic. They just don’t realize that I’m not the one.
@Dorian G.,
I see you live in DC. Thats not really the norm. Besides stop blaming your environment. Look inward, and it you will see the results outward.
@Dorian G.,
Actually, I live in Washington state and it is the norm here. I’d respond to the comment about looking inside myself, but really since I’m willing to bet you’ve never passed through my area, there’s really no way to convey my frustration. It would be quite difficult to not stop and think you might be the problem when this is all you run into. Not surprisingly, a large number of the women I know are constantly twisting and turning their personalities and settling for bit**a**ness in men because they feel they are the problem and that’s all they can get.
Didn’t mean for that to post twice or in two different spots.
@Dorian G.,
Although, that’s not to say that there aren’t women who are throwing out their own astronomical levels of bit**a**ness around here.
@SaneN85,
I realize it came off as snark. I didn’t mean it like that, but seriously I’m tired of hearing women continuously complain about how the men around them are f**king up and its all their fault. And then blame the city lol. Anyway do what u do
@Dorian G.,
I wasn’t really trying to complain, just commenting on the topic at hand. It just is what it is. I can see why it came across as complaining though. I wasn’t trying to blame the city so much as the both the men and women who compound the situation by letting it ride like it’s normal behavior. Why should the men make the effort of a real date when they get away with the “chill at home” date? Why would women expect a real date, when it appears to be normal behavior to not get asked out on any? They’re adapting to the situation. It always amuses me to come on here and realize that it’s entirely different how people are approached in most other places.
Trust, I’m more than capable of self-reflection (see, I managed not to be too sarcastic responding to your post, I’m already on top of it). It’s just hard to figure out what you’re doing wrong when the “come chill” line comes within the first 5 minutes conversing with a man. LOL.
@Tunde,
BWAHAHAHAHA
The zoo…with your four kids from four different baby mamas. Kmt that ish right there dnt even roll
@Dope Fiend,
The zoo is only cute if she likes animals, and the trip is sans kids.
@chaoticdiva,
it’s also only cute if she doesn’t have allergies. (Dang hay fever lol)
@Selah,
i dunno, zoos always stank! lets just go to sea world! lol
@shatani,
Oh yeaaaa I forgot about that zoo smell! What about Disneyland. I have the year pass. lol
Ya know, if you take a chick on a surprise date and
a)it’s not what she expected
b) her hair was ruined
c) she was forced to do manual labor
d) she had to eat at a cheap restaurant
as long as you keep the conversation going and the jokes coming, she will be ok and will take your call the next day. If she doesn’t, she’s lame/high maintenance and you are better off.
That said, taking anyone to meet your kids and/or momma too early in the relationship makes YOU lame and she should file you away as such.
@V.E.G.,
actually, if he surprises me by taking me to a construction site, and i don’t like it, or i’m not dressed for it, that doesn’t make me lame. It makes him lame for thinking he should surprise a woman with construction work on the first date. No women dresses for a construction site on the first date. So, he’s the azz for taking her to a construction site, and he’s even more of a lame azz for not immediately changing the plans once he see’s she is not dressed for the occasion. If he wants to build houses on the first date, then it should not be a surprise.
@califorN.I.A. love,
I hear ya. And I get where you are coming from. I do.
But the point of dating is getting to know someone/seeing how they react when life tosses them lemons. How people react in less than ideal situations provides a glimpse into who they are at the core.
So, he picks a bad first date option. But if he’s good company and a good person, any chick worth her salt should be able to roast him for his choice, go with the flow and keep it moving.
@V.E.G.,
and there it is…
@V.E.G.,
I can roll with you on this if he just made a bad choice, but unless dude is the field director for the local Habitat office, power tools on the first date sounds like a test. Anyone pulling a stunt like that would get his feelings hurt.
@SDot,
lol. I get you.
But, hypothetically speaking, if a guy is gonna take you to help build a Habitat house, it’s 99% likely it’s going to be a Saturday, early in the day. There is no need to be in full drag at noon on Saturday. AND, even if you have on your cute heels, you can just hand him nails and whatnot. You ain’t got to do the hard labor.
To write off a dude who takes you on a date where he doing trying to some GOOD in this world, even if you were dreaming of eating pastries and sipping espresso, is just…lame. I can’t see it any other way.
@SDot,
Beginning of second graph should read
“To write off a dude who takes you on a date where he is trying to do some GOOD in this world”
@V.E.G.,
How people react in less than ideal situations provides a glimpse into who they are at the core.
Ding, ding, ding!
@V.E.G.,
I have a great deal of respect for this comment.
Cooking class, or even just a night in to cook for each other. A cooking class is cute, but not on a first date. Seems like you’re too eager to test out my cooking chops, and that is way too early for a first date. you need to be focusing on whether or not you will make it to a second date, not if I can cook for you when barefoot and pregnant.
@Liz,
lol
@Liz, Well what if you want to show your cooking chops as a man?? Would that be too much?? I know i can cook and i really like to cook so that would be a nice date idea…
@NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox..,
I actually this would be a nice date too. But Liz’s perspective cracked me up.
Being the freak of nature I am, I would love to go to a water/amusement park. As long as I didn’t freshly flat-iron my hair. Go for it if i’m rocking the water-friendly spirals.
As for other places:
1. Gamer Store. Unless your girl is a gamer, she’s not going to want to sit for 3 hours watching you play some random 12 year old at the local Funcoland in Halo or Rockband. Super lame. Save that for your spare time w/o her.
2. Paintballing. Unless your girl can run in heels. And if she can, you might want to check if she belongs to a man in a purple suit.
3. A Tattoo parlor. Especially if you’re offering to treat her to a tattoo of her choice, as long as it’s of your name.
4. Feeding the Geese. Ducks are ok, but geese are Satan’s spawn, and they tend to attack. I had the misfortune of going on a first date in the park with a guy where we got chased by a pack of evil Ann Arbor geese.
5. Ikea. This one is just all wrong. If you just moved, and you’re taking her for her advice, you look pathetic (since it is your first date…unless she’s an interior decorator). It could also be the insinuation of you wanting her to be “domesticated”. Expect evil stares from the time you pull into the parking lot.
6. A prison. I don’t care if you’re taking her to see your little brother, that ish is not kosher.
7. Target. Especially if you offer to buy her anything from the dollar bins.
@chaoticdiva, ok i spit on my computer screen re: prison. stop it!!! lmao. WHO IS TAKING FIRST DATES TO PRISON??!?!?!?!
@Liz,
I’m sure someone is. somewhere.
@Liz,
Sadly, I’m sure there are people that would do ish like that. I can name at least 3 relatives of mine that would…
@chaoticdiva, I will add to your #1 comment: A Gaming Convention….
@chaoticdiva,
“6. A prison. I don’t care if you’re taking her to see your little brother, that ish is not kosher.”
LMAO. Like, they’re goin’ to site-see or something. Mofo this ain’t no zoo! lol
P.S. this photo on the post is ridiculous. WTF?
@Liz,
Why you makeda fun of me? (just kidding).
@Liz,
that’s what I was thinking lol.. .Like
what</strike who IS that???@Selah,
d*mn that didn’t turn out right.
I meant who IS that?
Home Depot. Regardless of how sexy you look in a toolbelt with a power drill in your hand… no woman wants to help you lay pipe [I'm talking literal pvc pipe people
] on the first date.
I suspect taking her to your baby mom’s house to drop off your delinquent child support isn’t a good idea either.
@Torrey,
LMAO…you got that right! That’s a bona fide way to get dismissed.
I weep for my city.
http://www.wxyz.com/news/local/story/Police-Man-Stole-Womans-Car-on-1st-Date/GevzSuZ_zUiYY_tsNc-P6A.cspx
1.) The title of the story is in the link.
2.) You picked dude up on the first date?
3.) How do you continue dating ( both the guy & unfortunate miss)?
@Nola Darling,
It’s so grimy in Detroit now. I think these dudes are trying to make the 80s look like Shangri-la. Did you ever hear about the story of the dude that met the chic on the chat line, had sex with her, and then robbed her?
@Humble_One aka Field Ninja, now THAT’S f*ckin the game up!
@Humble_One aka Field Ninja,
Tell me about it. Why am I doing contract work for Detroit *entities that shall remain nameless* that STILL haven’t PAID a sista for services rendered? And the Ninjas out here all are grimy.
How about a Porn Expo…
I don’t think that you want your love for money shots and naked chicks getting banged out on the first date. I know most people don’t really care if people watch porn but i think that would be just a little bit too much on the first date…
i would definitely go to a water park. one of the benefits of locs. but you are absolutely correct about all of the others. Those dates are completely inappropriate as a surprise date with a woman you may not know that well.
additionally….
1. the mall
2. a town hall meeting on health care reform
3. your grandma’s funeral
4. your niece’s baptism
5. AA meeting–unless that’s where you met her.
6. your uncle’s arraignment hearing
7. bail bondsmen to get bail for your uncle
that’s all i have for now. sayonara!
Oh My Heavens. WTF!!! That picture had me in tears. T.E.A.R.S
Hmmmm, Habitat for Humanity may actually be a good look. It says he’s all for helping the people, community oriented and has a heart for change. Not so bad, eh? He’d be good on the surprise IF he told me to wear jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. I’d be like como? But when we arrived, I’d prob give him a kiss on the first date on GP for his volunteerism.
@Daydreamer, “Habitat for Humanity may actually be a good look”
I concur! It says a lot about a guy and he would get props for that.
Evangelical convention (or any other religious activity)
Meeting of *insert radical group of choice here*
Frat Party
Sweatshop
Prison (as mentioned earlier)
Other than the above, I’d most likely just go with the flow, no matter how kooky the idea/situation was.
Plus, I LOOOOOOOVVVEEEE buffets. Passionate, blinding love. I’ll take that as a first date (as long as the place doesn’t have only meat options). H**l, I may just go ahead and demand this as a first date with all my dates from now on.
i (a black woman) would LOVE a date to an amusement park! now, a water park takes planning. folks need s suit and NOT to be wearing designer shoes and whatnot. so yeah, that cant be the surprise first date…but lets go to six flags! that sounds fun as hell!
ok, i love the water park lol. esp on a hot day.
i aint making no list at this hour, i will be back in the morning, unless there are 3456678 comments by then, in which case i will sprinkle my co-signs, lmao’s, and hail naws.
happy monday!
a business meeting – this happened to me, and i couldn’t believe it… was dating an older guy (never again!!!) who, i realised later, ONLY dated younger women (alarm bells clanging at this point)
anyhoo – this guy had this mentality that all he was my sugar daddy, and i just had to tag along wherever he wanted to take me….so instead of dinner, we wind up at some odd little cafe in a dingy shopping centre with his ‘business associate’ and they’re talking about big deals involving millions of rands…. what-what???? is this supposed to impress? i wonder… all i know is that i quietly steamed throughout that hour-long meet, and raged and swore at him all the way home, jumped into my car THE MINUTE we got to his place, and was done with him thereafter…. chuppid bastid.
don’t promise me dinner and instead, deliver dry scones over bad coffee while you talk about $ you haven’t even got with some dodgy ‘business associate’. imbecile.
@superwoman,
*giggling*
Oh wow.
All this time I thought the plural was “rand”…anyways….
@superwoman, you might not be back for this, but I’ll ask anyway:
On a related note, do Blacks and Afrikaners commonly date each other out there?
uh……
NOW movie premier about FGM. I was in the mood to catch a movie…..shoulda kept lookin….
As far as I know…
-Some backpacker rap show: Sisters are worse than radio station program directors when it comes to only caring for rappers that have HITS. And it’s too much of a sausage factory…a good time for her is when there’s 20 women in the building she thinks she’s flyer than.
-Rolling with you as you run errands and see your peeps: She’ll tune you out and text around for her ride and activity away from you fast. Your first date may as well be a funeral of someone she’s never met.
-Window shopping: You look like you’re selling her a dream…she’ll be one mad chick if you ain’t buying her sh*t.
-A hockey game or cricket match: Not an American girl (sung to the tune of Estelle), no way…a chick from Toronto or Montreal might clap to the pucks. But it bet’ not be a Kings game!
-The mo for a 3-bone with a crack hooker: Imagery explains itself.
-The Dixon Ticonderoga pencil factory: Kelly Bundy knows best!
And take her anyplace and tell her “you’re buyin’” and she’s throwing on an adamantium chastity belt.
On the flipside though, a surprise you bet’ not EVER f*ckin’ spring on me is to invite me to meet you at a spot I’ve never heard of that you’ve already ran up and hid inside of for free on the all good tip, then when I get there to check for you, punk *ss bouncer is telling me 20+ bucks admission for a place with music I don’t like, guaranteed extremely expensive drinks, and a crowd of meatheads wearing the douchebag shirt of the month. F*ck and that. Straight up and down. Places that ain’t my style don’t get a dime out of me, PERIOD. I avoid them like the plague for a reason. And you must be tryna test what kinda mark or vic I am to even suggest such. I have no problem flipping it 180 degrees as I say “other fish”…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Some backpacker rap show: Sisters are worse than radio station program directors when it comes to only caring for rappers that have HITS. And it’s too much of a sausage factory…a good time for her is when there’s 20 women in the building she thinks she’s flyer than.
You ain’t lying about this. You forgot about all the questions she asks when she gets in the ride and everything you play she has never heard of.
@Humble_One aka Field Ninja, ha! I compromise with a R&B station or the Zune’s neo-soul mix (with a light dusting of Drake). Somewhere within 15 minutes is her song, guaranteed. No Phonte for her, no Webbie for me. It’s bliss.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, “Rolling with you as you run errands and see your peeps”
Not a good idea! I had this happen to me. It wasn’t a first date, but only a couple of weeks into dating and we were supposed to spend the day at the beach and on the way, he asked me if we could stop at his friend’s house to pick up a package. The friend turned out to be his ex. His ex flipped out when she saw me. Needless to say, that was over.
@Leila, wow. Exes are especially someone you keep to yourself and f*ck with on your own time.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
No offense, hon, but what’s the age range of girls you date?
@Sula, with all due respect, I date myself enough in these comments as it is, so I plead the fif!:)
His family reunion.
That is some leather-wearing-in-the-summertime-Waiting To Exhale-hot-ghetto mess.
@RunGirl.,
“That is some leather-wearing-in-the-summertime-Waiting To Exhale-hot-ghetto mess.”
*snort*
This always kills me because not only was it leather in the summertime, but it was a leather. VEST. No shirt under it, but a vest. Like was he tryin’ to justify wearing hot-arse leather just ‘cuz he didn’t have sleeves on? *dead*
His rap show at a hole in the wall.
This is the worst because most women don’t care for rap that much.
@Princess0889,
women don’t care for rap that much.
Speak for yourself.
Please and thank you.
Mgmt.
Now as a first date…. unless you spit hot fiyah (Dylan Dylan Dylan Dylan and Dylan) you may get a o_O from me for trying to make me look like your top flight groupie.
@BlackBerry Molasses,
“Speak for yourself.
Please and thank you.
Mgmt. ”
Cosigns. Please and merci beaucoup.
Asst. Manager.
@Cheekie,
Yeah…I totally missed that one…good eye Cheekie and BBMo.
Thank you and good night.
@miss t-lee,
Oh but she ain’t lying. More often than not VSS this seems to be the case. School your sisters
@all the seemingly good sport ladies who disagreed with Princess0889, please refer to my take upstairs in this thread for why I agree with her wholeheartedly.
Please close out your bar tabs.
@ Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I read it upthread…I just chose not to comment.
@miss t-lee, I just got, how you say, “treated?”
Be that as it may, my main point was that she was implying the same thing I was, that the average girl really isn’t into rap to go beyond whoever’s on the radio and puts feet on the floor. Dare I say it’s not even about whether or not the song is dope so much as if it’s popular.
well, i will certainly own not being that into rap. i will also own not being that into mediocrity….if you take me to a show and its good music, i can roll with it. but i cannot go to amateur night, i just cant do it. i get embarrassed for the people with no talent….what can i say? a sista got empathy!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like ,
LOL!!! It’s just that I’ve fought this fight time and time again IRL and on this blog about the ladies not being into hip-hop.
You said it yourself “the average girl”. So I’m just gonna leave it at that.
@miss t-lee, I understand, but girls like yourself are few and far between, even those with a serviceable level of Hip-Hop enthusiasm and sophistication. Consider me jaded since I gave up that search years ago and just let them bump Keyshia Cole.
@miss t-lee,
*sigh* Thank you e-twin. I didn’t feel like wasting my energy today (nor did I have the time).
I stan for good music, period. And the fact that they are placing this squarely on the shoulders of women… I know plenty dudes who only listen to what gets the club crunk (and consequently makes my head hurt).
@BlackBerry Molasses, you mean those guys who bump only super-hood, super-thuggin’, trunk ratt-lin’ music (and its club bnager equivalent)? Yeah, those cats irk me too. But I’m not tryna please a dude, LOL.
@Princess0889,
His rap show at a hole in the wall.
I don’t know, but I will find this endearing. A first date in my opinion is to get to know my potential dater. Seeing him doing something he is passionate about is a great way to get to know him.
And I don’t think I’m that different. Am I?
- A black spa: I love my people’s and all, but we just haven’t quite nailed down the ambiance aspect of a relaxing enough environment for a sistah to want to take off her clothes and let some stranger rub on her (white IS right sometimes).
– A job interview: Unless you are pro athlete and there will be cameras flashing and a press conference afterwards where she will get some of the roll-off attention, it’s prolly best that you pick her up after your Chickfila interview.
- Anywhere in a rented luxury vehicle: Unless you are trying to bag her on the first date (and it’s safe to assume that if you MUST rent & roll, you prolly don’t have enough game to close the deal anyway), it’s gonna be tough to figure out new and innovative ways to explain why a $100,000 vehicle STAYS in the shop.
Dude’s house/apartment/condo.
No– I do not want to make it a blockbuster night on your couch.
Try again.
@miss t-lee,
What about red box? *ducking* lol
@WuDaMan,
*throat punch*
@miss t-lee,
*choking/gasping* But we in a TET
@WuDaMan,
No excuses.
@WuDaMan,
get him, miss t!!!
*super missed the t-lee throat punches*
@shatani ,
What it do Shatani?!?!?
@WuDaMan,
I think that deducts points for lack of effort. There’s only like 20 choices on a redbox as opposed to the 100+ choices at Blockbuster*. lol
I hate them both. I’m a Netflix chick.
I agree, all of these are unacceptable. However, I could possibly do a water park because I am a natural sista so that doesn’t matter to me. Another one I would like to add is a “fast food restaurant.” I had some dude try and take me to the DRIVE THRU and I started laughing. This is NOT going to get you any further than we are now, take me home. If you don’t have money I understand, take me to the lake (I was in FL) where lakes are everywhere, but don’t take me to KFC and expect me to get excited, what the H do I look like and LOL at the photo in this blog.
@MiaBee,
im a natural chick too, so the hair aspect of the water park wasnt bothering me as much as the wardrobe aspect. like, if youre wearing fancy shoes and a pretty dress and some fly makeup….the last thing you wanna do is climb your behind up to the top and go down a water slide…
Didn’t go through all the comments, but I’m gonna have to go with rock climbing. I’m sure there are women out there who would enjoy such an outdoorsy activity, but quite honestly…most wouldn’t especially without notice. Imagine shorty gettin all dressed up and spritzing herself with great fragrance then finding out she’s goin’ rock climbing (indoors). I’m just laughing at the thought of it.
@Slim Jackson, yeah, I don’t think she wants to practice free running in Aldo heels and a silk dress either.
@Slim Jackson,
I actually prefer an outdoors activity as a first date. What annoys me the most as a first date is going to the movies. It’s the most counterintuitive thing there is. A first date is meant to build rapport and exchange. I like movies and do not want someone talking my ear off while I am watching one.
So rock climbing will be a-okay by my standards… then again I think white water rafting is a fun way to spend a sunday so I don’t know.
I’m an a$$hole… but why not just save the surprises until after u actually know a person’s likes and taste. May save errone a headache.
@pgh muse,
makes sense to me….
@califorN.I.A.love,
absolutely!
@pgh muse,
I think this is a good theory, though. I mean, unless she makes some offhand comment about always wanting to go on a hot air balloon ride, it’s probably not best to “surprise” her with it then find out ON THAT DAY that she is deathly afraid of heights. Not a good look…
@pgh muse,
Indeed!!
I wish there was a “like” button on here….blame facebook!
@MizThickaDenThick, Facebook has really poisoned the well of the Internet….
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
@MizThickaDenThick, Facebook has really poisoned the well of the Internet….
True that! Even in your Yahoo email, you can put up a status! What the deuce!
“5. Buffet (or any restaurant that you have a coupon for)”
This cracks me up because Fridays shell out hundreds of buy-one-entree-get-one-free coupons and during the month of February, I though it was hilarious how they put in fine print, “Not to be used on Feb 14th, Valentine’s Day”. LMFAO. I wish nicca WOULD pull out a coupon on a V-day date. Like, he’ll be all, “Naw, baby, I’m paying for yours, MINE is free”. I love how they even have to tell folks that. I bet hella ninjas were disappointed.
Other places ya’ll shouldn’t take chicks on first date:
- Anti-war rally (that ish is too heavy, mayne)
- To your house, then up and say “randomly”, “Ya know, I loves me a strong b*tch with some muscles and sh*t, can you help me move this couch outta here”.
- a wedding (um, are you a masochist?)
- to church (what if the preacher randomly picks her and decides to exorcise her of demons while speaking in tongues…like ol’ dude in Borat, that sha-lah-lah-lah-lah guy* ).
- the liquor store
- a Matisyahu concert
That’s all I got. Note some are random as hell (it’s Monday and there’s a possibility I can leave early today…woo. hoo!) and some are sincere. I’ll leave it to your determination.
*I was flipping channels and saw this on cable this weekend and had to stop and watch since I love it so much and was reminded why I never thought they’d put it on cable because SO much has to be censored. Man, don’t even bother…
@Cheekie,
Okay What’s the deal /w Matisyahu?
@WuDaMan,
“Okay What’s the deal /w Matisyahu?”
I have no idea. Which is why I wouldn’t want to go to his concert as a first date. Or any date/outing for that matter. I have a feeling, I’d be sitting/standing there the whole time with a furrowed brow.
@WuDaMan, Cheekie just picked a name she heard mentioned one day at random.
*shots…fired!*
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
*incorrect answer buzzer*
I’ve always been intrigued and confused by Matisyahu. The name and the look. He confuddles me greatly.
@Cheekie,
He’s an interesting guy…I saw something not too long ago (documentary on PBS) about Jewish culture and they interviewed him.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
hmmmm…. you seem to feel that women don’t know anything about music/arts/culture beyond what is popular/advertised.
Interesting….
Carry on.
@BlackBerry Molasses,
I am beginning to sense that too…
@BlackBerry Molasses,
LOL, same here. Stuff Ghetto People Like, darlin’, you have NaCl all over you and your shots? You have have no aim, because you missed!
Check. And. Mate.
*does cabbage patch*
@BlackBerry Molasses and Sula, to keep it funky…in my experience, such arenas are simply not the place to come across a straight woman who gives much of a sh*t about them. And if they do, they’re not picking apart the same details, the same nooks and crannies of it that a man does. We’re wired differently, so different things appeal to us. I’ve caught enough bitter beer facededness from the girlies to understand that attempts to buck that difference are generally exercises in futility. The interests of the average woman are elsewhere and I’ve come to recognize that not as chauvinism from me, but the simple truth.
And for the record, I’m sure Cheekie knows I was just jokin’ around.
Hold on a second, what is NaCl?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I thought you were tryin’ to put me on blast or call my bluff, albeit in a joking manner. It’s all jokes here with me, though. Ya’ll know that.
@SGPL,
Dayum edit button too fast for me.
NaCL is the bougie chemistry name for table salt (sodium + chloride). I was calling you salty. I saw it referred to that way on the internets one time and thought it was cute. lol
In my experience the best first date is the most cliche dinner and drinks one. For 2 reasons,
Uno. You don’t want to go with the big guns for most of these women our here, because honestly in the end most of them aren’t worth it
B. For the most part its unappreciated, and if its just the draws you after, you can get it going the “non threatening family dining establishment” route
@Dorian G., pretty much, young.
And go a place you like where you won’t later feel the pain of paying the way of a girl who’s wack…
An agreed-upon movie is even better…agreed-upon meaning you kept your tastes and your balls on you.
@Dorian G.,
“In my experience the best first date is the most cliche dinner and drinks one.”
In theory, yes. It’s a safe date and you don’t loose too much.
But because it’s generic you don’t get a chance to show personality or to see hers come out.
The best first dates I’ve ever had were watching the Bears/Saints game at a bar, a reggae concert(s), an outdoor festival, White Sox game. Neither date cost a lot but we got to share tastes in music/sports/talk, etc. Lot more interesting – and memorable – than dinner and drinks.
@V.E.G.,
pretty much! i had a first date that was supposed to be to an amusement park but neither of us considered that it might be a little too early in the year, so when we got there it wasnt open. so, the guy i was with changed courses…he didnt start cussin or act like someone shot his dog. he thought on his toes and we ended up spending a fabulous day at niagara falls (i was in school living upstate ny) and it was a really fun time. so, what i learned about him is that he doesnt fall to pieces when things dont go his way and he’s got some creativity going too!
my other favorite first date was a football date….patriots/colts at a sports bar with a giant plasma screen and neverending nachos. good times! pats won! *prepares for hateration*
What’s wrong with the buffet and using coupons???
Your date doesn’t have to know your using a coupon. Just tuck that baby up in between your money when your paying. Just make sure your coupon is valid and you’ve read all the fine print on it, because trust & believe the waitress will blow your spot up. And make sure your cheap a$$ leaves a nice tip.
This might say a lot about the women I’ve dated but I don’t remember any of them having a problem with me using a coupon. I usually tell them the deal before we even go out.
@Eff yo couch, the buffet and using coupons
Nothing. I like buffets and coupons. More food and money for me
This -mostly- black woman LOVES water parks, beaches , pools…Basically take me anywhere involving water on a first date and i am drawing hearts around your name in my Trapper Keeper
and I am ALWAYS ready for said activities but then again who isnt down here in SoFla (South Florida)
I’m sure someone already said church, but this goes for any churchy-related activities, especially if you haven’t had “the talk…” no need to take your date to ring doorbells and pass out Watchtowers if she’s a Southern Baptist.
No kid related activities. Beez luh the kids, but your lady just might be allergic.
Nothing “exotic,” unless it’s her suggestion. Let the Mexican/Sushi fusion restaurant alone until you compare and contrast your styles. That goes for dancing too. Don’t take her to a country two-stepping place if she’s more of a Chi-town stepper, or even a Cupid Shuffler for that matter.
Then again, Beez hasn’t dated in yurrs. Like Levar Burton (of the now canceled Reading Rainbow) says, “Don’t take my word for it.”
You see, Black women have special needs and circumstances that must be accounted for when planning a surprise date. Blame it on slavery. Blame it on the rain…. blame it on the al-al-al-al-co-hol.
I prefer to blame it on the boogie…
@K to the…, I blame Canada.
chuck e cheese?
johnny rockets?
employment dispute hearing between you and the last restaurant you worked for?
footlocker?…`em nike blazer is kickin`
a house party? for jaheem ( your boy from way back) who just did time for boosting?
@oliver,
awww, why no johnny rockets?? you can tell them its her birthday and then the fun will REALLY begin!
Actually, I live in Washington state and it is the norm here. I’d respond to the comment about looking inside myself, but really since I’m willing to bet you’ve never passed through my area, there’s really no way to convey my frustration. It would be quite difficult to not stop and think you might be the problem when this is all you run into. Not surprisingly, a large number of the women I know are constantly twisting and turning their personalities and settling for bit**a**ness in men because they feel they are the problem and that’s all they can get.
Exactly. I would be dressed cute and that would NOT be cool, lol. That’s not a good surprise date, a good date, yes, but definitely not for surprises!
No wonder it’s so slow in here today. It’s missing the Champ and Panama follow-ups.
lol, those are some very interesting places. I don’t even take women out on the first “date” , or shall I say meet. I rather go somewhere where we can really sit and talk…….and it’s FREE. I’m not taking anybody anywhere who I haven’t already chilled with to see if we get along.
The best spontaneous date I’ve ever been on was when I was out of the country in Germany. I met a black expat that took me to the beach at night for drinks. We sat and drank wine and watched the Germans dance to Euro jazz. It was marvelous.
The worst was a bar/coffeehouse known for first dates. It was noisy/crowded and we had to wait like thirty minutes for a table. Ugh. I want to be someplace that I can enjoy YOUR company, not a place known for being the “it” place. Boo to that. I’d rather go to Crickets.
The worst would me your house to watch Coming to America and eating pizza. If you have fully matriculated through undergrad this is unacceptable. Nobody wants to show up looking all cute and heeled up only to find out that you’re just going to see something like Boomerang for the umpteenth time.
This post sings to me. I like to think of myself as a defiantly optimistic and open black woman, but as I approach my mid-thirties with significant life experience, I am simply learning to accept that I don’t really like meeting (or doing sh*t for) other people’s relatives, getting my hair wet (without serious styling tools or a professional nearby), spending a lot of time near wildlife (I’ve always lived on the edge of somebody’s damn woods), having to listen to anybody else’s selection of exceedingly white music (the rebellion is over, and as far as I’m concerned, the ninjas won), or going to cheap-ass restaurants with cheap-ass men. Thank you for this public service announcement, and thank you for confirming that I’m angrier and blacker that I thought. It feels good to be home.