My buddy! Where ever I go!
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
You may have heard that somewhere. It’s popular on schoolyards everywhere as future millionaires fend off the numerous taunts of usually bigger, cooler, or more assholish kids who make fun of each other during Act One of the omnipresent stage play, Life.
I know I’ve said it before to somebody. Probably to some girl who called me a name when I was six or seven. I’m guessing it was my best rebuttal. Either that or the similarly popular, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.” It’s funny how ridiculously ridiculous these statements are but how clear they are to children. I swear, there isn’t a kid alive who doesn’t know how to turn that statement around on another kid.
The main notion behind these statements is that words are just that, words. That they don’t necessarily hold much Oprah sometimes, and that short of being bludgeoned with a Louisville Slugger, for the most part, you can just get up and move on past something someone has just said that you don’t necessarily agree with.
Well, me…I’m calling bullsh*t, especially the older you get. I don’t know which is a bigger lie: actions speak louder than words or Kim Kardashian loved Kris Humphries.
And for the record, I do think actions speak loud. But I think that words carry just as much weight.
Now, I won’t be focusing on that “actions speak louder than words” segment, but more on how certain words really can get you in an assblender of trouble.
[Another aside: This post has nothing to do with the posts from last week. While I still have a lot to say about the fallout from my vantage, today I’m not going to address it.]
One specific word actually.
Question, question: what’s the worst word you can call a woman who’s got any sort of interest in you?
Or a man for that matter?
Buddy.
Yes. It’s buddy.
(You thought it was going to be b*tch didn’t you?)
Oh, you don’t believe me? You can case study this sh*t if you want to. Allow me to offer a situation from my own life as fodder for discussion.
Once upon a blue moon, I was a lovestruck idiot in college. I’d managed to find a woman who for whatever reason got me all in a tizzy. Now, despite my constant attempts to woo this woman, she managed to fend off my advances like she was practicing for the National DisANinja Time Trials. But she didn’t exactly want me to not continue to woo her since my woo-age was neither stalkerish nor annoying. My woo-age included flowers, poetry, and trips to cheap dinners. Basically, I had your all around being a nice guy who really likes a girl thing going on. I’d do dumb sh*t hoping she’d take notice despite the fact that she’d made it clear she wasn’t really trying to be with me, though clearly she was interested but it might have just been in the way I treated her.
Figure out if she’s worth it, then treat her like a Queen. I had that little equation backwards.
But one fine day, as we were on the phone, me in my nonchalant manner innocently said to her, “hey buddy…”
STOP.
Have you seen I’m Gonna Get You Sucka? Do you remember the part where the mother who is on her period turns into the monsterish thing who is doing back flips and sh*t when folks come into her house looking for Jack Spade? Yeah, that was this chick.
I felt like I had just shot her grandmother with a rusty barnacle. She went off on me. Now remember, this was a chick who didn’t want to be with me, but apparently she for damn sure didn’t like the connotation that comes along with being called a buddy.
“I am NOT your buddy.”
Sheesh.
I left that alone after that and had learned my lesson.
That was until the next time I used that term and the exact same thing occurred.
And you know what, I didn’t get it at first. Why would these women who seemingly don’t want to be with me get so offended at the use of the term “buddy”. Then it dawned on me.
Women f*cking HATE that word because it makes them feel less special. “No he didn’t call me his buddy. What I look like? His boy Jim that he plays ball with!!! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit…he better had get right in his mind!”
And in some ways I can kind of understand. Maybe its unintentionally intentional, but words like “buddy” tend to pop up when people are dating and they’re in that limbo, where-are-we-going stage. Maybe we’re all just playing mind games with one another.
The dude is thinking that if he calls her buddy and he gets a reaction then he knows she’s feeling him definitely. Kind of like forcing the green light. On that stupid a** Love Jones sh*t.
I need to say this here…I f*ckin’ HATE when people try to passively aggressively bait me into stuff. I know some folks who go out of their way to force an issue by total beat-around-the bushage. I want those people to get hit by lightning.
Most people I know hate passive-agressive bastards too. It’s one thing if two dating people are passive-aggressively feeling each other out in hopes of, you know, feeling each other out later. It’s something altogether different when people say this:
“We might need to talk about something later on.”
Umm…the f*ck does that mean? What do you mean might? If we might need to talk about it later on then we probably DO need to talk about it now.
What was I talking about?
Ah yes, women hate feeling less than special. Especially if they like you. Even more especially than the past especially if questions are lingering about the direction two people are heading.
Which is why a term like “buddy” is so loaded.
In some ways I don’t even think its deeper than that. An interested woman wants to know that you feel that she’s more special than other random folks in your life, whether its true or not. Even if she’s not interested.
Which makes total sense to at least 90 percent of the women reading this right now.
Got it, buddy?
Good.
Ladies, how do you feel about being called his “buddy”? And what words send men over the edge? Fellas, what say you? You ever referred to a woman in a friendship manner only to get your head chopped off?
Talk to me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. B.U.D.D.Y. aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
For the DC heads, its time again for another edition of REMINISCE! at Liv Nightclub this Saturday, February 4th, 2012 from 930pm til 3am. It’s all 90s everything and anybody who has been will tell you this party is a motherf*cking monster. It’s FREE BEFORE 11PM WITH RSVP ($10 after) (click the link to RSVP), OPEN BAR FROM 930-1030PM (doors open earlier b/c people keep showing up MAD early) and no dress code. Supa Qool DJ Quartermaine on the 1s and 2s. Come on out and we’ll see you on Saturday night! Peep the FB event here!
Buddy is a slap in the face.
“Like a sister” is the pile-driver.
That being said, if I had a bruise for every time I was called “like a sister/play cousin/buddy/friend” I’d be one bruised and friendless motherf*cker.
As a woman I like to think the nuanced things I do for dudes creates a bigger picture for them. It. Does. Not. And so when they refer to me as “my friend Tes” ain’t got nobody to blame but myself. Lesson learned. Thanks VSB!
~~~“Like a sister” is the pile-driver.
Yes. Especally when they don’t mean it. If you were really like a sister, they would be on watch 24-7 to make sure that you are doing alright. “Like a sister” gets abused as much as “friend.”
“Like a sister” is the fraternal twin of “let’s just be friends”… except it’s the dude saying it.
I’m sure they both suck equally
hey Royale…you’re like a sister to me.
so…how’s life and all that good stuff? just making sure that you’re alright.
Hey Buddy! Life is pretty good. I can’t complain. Thanks for asking
“Like a sister” usually comes from dudes who have at one point lead you on a little. That’s why it’s kind of like “…I’m sorry, I’m a what to you?” sort of thing. The last guy who said “Tes you’re like a sister to me” had an expressed interest in wanting to see me naked. That’s not something siblings do.
‘ “Like a sister” usually comes from dudes who have at one point lead you on a little. That’s why it’s kind of like “…I’m sorry, I’m a what to you?” sort of thing. The last guy who said “Tes you’re like a sister to me” had an expressed interest in wanting to see me naked. That’s not something siblings do. ‘
I’m confused by “expressed an interest” and “lead you on a little”.
Did he tell you to disrobe? Did he tell you he wanted to see you naked?
Or was he staring at your chest? Or did he make sex jokes with/around you?
I ask because context is everything in figuring out why he called you his buddy and his sister and why you believe he behaved as if he was interested in you/your body.
If a dude says “you’re like a sister” wouldn’t it make sense to believe him? How would we know he doesn’t mean it?
What dude goes around calling a woman he really likes and wants to smash “like a sister”?
I would like to hear some exposition on this theory as well. I have seen some doozies on VSB and this is one of them
“Like a sister” is the pile-driver.”
AMEN.
It’s so final.
you know…i’ve only ever referred to a woman as “like a sister” when i was attempting to let her know where she stood. i needed her to get off my log.
you know the problem with nuance…its only as effective as the person who’s supposed to understand it. if y’all think men tend to be relationship dolts anyway, what makes you think we’re going to pick up on any nuance?
I don’t think men are dolts in the relationship. I think they sometimes want us to think that. And men do get nuances, I think; instead of confronting them I think they just go ignored. The nuances, not the men.
“Like a sister” is the easiest way to make a girl who was into you despise the fact you exist.
He wanted to be clear with you Tess that he was not interested in you. Maybe he doesn’t care that you despise his existence. Men pursue who they want and don’t worry about the ones they don’t want hating or disliking them. They want to be left alone hence “You’re my buddy”
He wasn’t that into you.
“i needed her to get off my log”
Milk
Unless I’ve known you since like kindergarten, I am not like your sister. I’d much prefer just being your friend.
If I’ve known you since pre-k it wouldn’t be “like” a sister then, I’d hope to be just a sister.
Like a sister is never an appropriate response. Just…never.
Tess, men will accept the things you do for them without considering if you like them. Especially if they’re hungry or can use whatever you are offering (a meal/ football tickets/a hand painting their house/being nice to their mama). Do you actually flirt with the men you like, using physical contact? Do you touch his arm a lot when you are talking to him? Do you come out and ask, “I like you. Are you going to ask me out on a date?” Most importantly do you notice the eligible dudes who like you?
Agreed. You have to at least show that you want to do more. Otherwise, a guy will just think you’re being nice. Trust me, you don’t want to be with a guy who will just assume you’re being sexual without any signs. Bad things tend to happen.
This post was all over the place so my comment will be the same…
LOL my sister and I were just talking about the word “buddy.” But in the way cops say it. We had a good laugh about that. “You’re in real trouble, buddy.” Ish like that.
More proof that the word “buddy” is bad news: It was used in the godawful song Smokey Robinson sung to Blue at the end of the Temptations movie (AND in real life).
I do wonder if it would be better or worse if a dude called a chick his “bosom buddy”…
you know…maybe the point here is that women don’t like to be called anything but wife or girfriend.
I agree.
SN: Which means wifey is NOT acceptable. If I’m your gf, then refer to me as such, not wife or wifey.
I think Next messed it up for everybody. http://youtu.be/BxOjTTlu6Cc *doing the two step off in the background*
Agreed. Wifey has become synonymous with “bottom b*tch”. It has connotations that he’s the pimp and you the h*e, you are not the only one, you the down azz bish that goes through all the lows, but is never around for the highs, you the safety net and there’s lots of responsibility with no accountability or reciprocity. No ma’am. Heyall naw. Not neva.
“…you the down azz bish that goes through all the lows, but is never around for the highs, you the safety net and there’s lots of responsibility with no accountability or reciprocity.”
+1
I try to get my younger cousins to understand this concept constantly…
Yes, or best friend. The end.
Call me Ishmael and it’s on.
I love the name Ishmael. I know it has nothing to do with the topic of this thread.
” I do wonder if it would be better or worse if a dude called a chick his “bosom buddy”…”
I would think he was gayer than a pride parade, and a well of useful information is stored in his bosom.
I try to stay away from buddy or any variants. If you’ve been called “ninja” by me more times than you have fingers I view you as a sexless blob of awesome friendidude.
i’d totally smang a lot of the boobed ninjas i know.
in theory anyway.
i definitely do not like being called “buddy” by a guy im interested in. i dont think ive ever gone off on a guy about using the term, but i will go back to my girl(s) and be like “its over. this ninja thinks we’re buddies. wtf?! im too fine to be his damn buddy. time to move on to the next”
i am always reassured, however, when a dude im NOT interested in calls me buddy. even if he doesnt really mean that ish.
either way, i feel like once you call me a buddy, thats what we are. and the “buddy” rules is what we’ll play by. theres almost never any coming back from that. if you try to treat me like your buddy, and then try to catch feelings and to come for me like your boothang, the record will scratch and i will raise my wonderfully arched eyebrow at you, like, “boy BYE!” its a wrap. we’re done here.
hmm…a brotha can’t change his mind or realize later that he wants to be your b.u.d.d.y. and not just buddy? so cold.
is there an icebox where your heart used to be?
Not Omarion, though.
there probably is an ice box where my heart used to be. waiting for some one to melt it…
+1
“im too fine to be his damn buddy”
lmao!
im too fine to be his damn buddy.
…until you donned a Sharpie mustache…
j/k
Happy Monday!!!!
LMBO!!! you got jokes i see. but dont let the well lined facial hair fool you, im not a punk arse diva [dude]
Touche!
well as long as you shaved that, everything should be good.
The best thing ever is when your friend who loves your buddy ass like a sister finally FALLS in love with you. You think, there is a God. I knew I wasn’t trippin. I knew I was too fine for this mess.
But then it hits you and you think…you know? he’s just not that cute. I’ll pass. Besides, he just confirmed that I’m the shit and now I need to talk to someone on my “level”
LMAO @ the My buddy doll.
I think the term ” she’s like my sister” is just as bad.
I can recall crushing seriously on a guy in college. I went to all his parties. When I finally got the gumption to tell him that I wanted to get to know him on a more personal level, he politely smiled, patted me on my head, told me that was cute and gave me a kiss on my cheek. It was followed by you’re like a Sister to me Mika and my heart shattering in a 110 pieces as well as the fantasies I had concocted of us together in my head.
It was the biggest disappointment that quarter in school and made me realize how much I hate passive aggressive people.
Give it to me straight, no chaser!
i think that him patting you on your head was about as straight, no chaser as it gets.
oh and him telling you that was cute.
yeah, no passive aggressive behavior there.
” i think that him patting you on your head was about as straight, no chaser as it gets.”
lmao! +1 -That was even borderline disrespectful
LOL, it’s not even borderline… it crossed the threshold. That’s patronizing disrespect. Like imagine if a chick did that to you… LOL, it’s so disrespectful I couldn’t even get mad, like I would literally have to laugh about it and walk it off.
hmmm I use the term friend until I feel comfortable to use anything that can progress from friendship. As I’ve gotten older I realize there should be some kind of friendhip with a potential SO anyway.
ah well I do alright so let me be great LOL
if kanye can’t be great. what makes you think you can be great? hmmm?? entitlement issues much?
women.
LOL whatever homey!
LOL whatever homey!
I totally agree..well except for the part with which I disagree. Soooo just because she doesn’t react to “buddy” doesn’t mean she is not feeling you–she may just be an undercover overthinker. Something “buddy”-like got used on me rather recently (“homie” actually…over the phone) and it took everything in me not to react cause I think he wanted a reaction to get a feel for if I like hime like that or not and even though I kinda do, I don’t want him to know…..yet. Probably doesn’t make sense. Lol. But I agree with everything pretty much!
If you’re a man and you spend money on a woman who calls you buddy, just kill yo self. If you’re a woman who likes a guy, who calls you buddy, just pull your pants down and ask him if he’s going to take it or not. If he says “No” you can just say he was probably gay and maintain your self-esteem.
Any girl who ever referred to me as buddy, is on the one word answer text list anytime she texts me: For example
Girl: Hey long time no see, what’s up with you.
Me: Chillin
Girl: How’s work?
Me:Good
Girl: How come we don’t talk anymore?
Me:Busy
Girl: Well I missed you…
Me: Brb
Girl: Ok
The End…
“Me: Brb
Girl: Ok
The End…”
BOL.
LOL! She could have just been playing with your emotions. People don’t do that anymore? lol. jk.
ok. this kilt me dead and is perfect. good damn job.
lmao @ 2mques- You should be a relationship self-help guru lolol, “the one word text list” was my favorite quote from alladat. So real, after that you’re only bein polite as humanely possible. If they don’t catch on soon they get the cold shoulder (applies to both genders too)
LMFAO. You. Were Cold. AS ICE.
*Tina Marie* Wooooooooo hoo hoo hooooooo!
Dudes do the one word answer blow off so much nowadays its getting kinda transparent as code for I’m pissed as f*ck, but I want you to think I don’t care and I hope it hurts.
I know a guy who gets butt hurt everytime I argue with him and he doesn’t have a good come back. How do I know? He responds with “k”. Or he says “dear”, “sweetie”, “have a nice day”, etc. That ish is so played it just makes me laugh at him cause he thinks he looks supa dupa cool.
Cause if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t try so hard to make it look like you don’t care. One word, overly cordial responses broadcast your anger and hurt. It’s been overdone. It’s not cold as ice. Ice done melted on that game.
I could care less.
I agree, I think you could.
Yeh whatever that means
LOL… the phrase is “I could NOT care less.” In which saying you could not care less means that you actually do care. Apologies for the lateness, but WC did school you on that one.
*correction: In which saying you could care less means that you actually do care.
I could care less
DEAD!! Not BRB though!!?? LLS!
must be hard dealing with me cuz i call chicks i deal with homey in convo. like who has time to mentally sit there and determine what exactly descriptor to use on anybody at all times.
its why i usually cut out the middleman and just call everybody “ni**a” <— no confusion there
Thank you! The word fits for everybody. Had a thing with my wife where she didn’t want me calling her n!66@ anymore. I said cool, but then she would flip around and call me one. Well, she is still my n!66@. Even tried that buddy thang one time just for shats and giggles…never again. Bad day all the way around.
Yeah, you might not have gotten any that night.
I can see A MILLON smart @$$ comebacks from that.
Why you getting in my bed? BUDDIES don’t share beds. Get on the couch, BUDDY.
-_-
” must be hard dealing with me cuz i call chicks i deal with homey in convo. like who has time to mentally sit there and determine what exactly descriptor to use on anybody at all times.
its why i usually cut out the middleman and just call everybody “ni**a” <— no confusion there"
Imma go head and say +2 cause I agree with both of these awesome statements lol
I'm also not gonna give you any cheatsheet into my thoughts. I'm practically a lawyer when it comes to throwing reasonable doubt into ANY interpretation a chick might make. What's the fun in you knowin exactly how I feel? Takes all the fun out of it for both of us
I’m also not gonna give you any cheatsheet into my thoughts. I’m practically a lawyer when it comes to throwing reasonable doubt into ANY interpretation a chick might make. What’s the fun in you knowin exactly how I feel? Takes all the fun out of it for both of us
^^^This ^^^ could’ve come from ANY woman, and it would be justified by the national council of chick logic. From a guy, you’re goin in front the firing squad.
And they got cannons.
@ MTM- So true lol. They let me slide today i guess. They definitely do this all the time tho. That’s who I learned it from lol
I wonder how Musiq Soulchild would feel about this post.
LOL
Actually, in that particular song, Musiq was asking whatever lady it was he was macking to BE his buddy….he never REFERRED to the woman as “buddy”.
There’s a difference. A huge difference.
yeah, but “buddy” in that context was meant to suggest that a “cut” should come in front of that. Which could/couldn’t land you in a similar boat depending on the circumstances.
That’s what I was thinking about. That’s the only type of buddy I know…
Speaking of songs….this seems quite different than De La Soul’s (arguably Native Tongues) “Buddy”.
Plus, I don’t think anyone looking for “more” wants to be called De La Soul’s version of “Buddy” either.
Exactly.
Not when a buddy tells a group of ninjas to all get into a circle so she can freak them.
You know what?
SHE FREAKED THE
Well, since you guys beat me to mentioning De La Soul, I’m gonna drop the link right here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F69dt5clGPo
i think musiq would be happy to know that anybody cared about the fact that he was still alive.
@Panama- +1 He’s grateful for ANYONE recognizing his existence. Any publicity is good publicity for that….individual
that was mean. lol
Speaking from experience and hindsight there is nothing more pathetic on Gods green earth than “a nice guy who really likes a girl” ALL of the females will argue against this but… “actions speak louder than words”. Aaaaand we’ve come full circle.
preach.
“Buddy” sounds like “chick I don’t think is cute or fine.” A guy would never call a woman he finds attractive “buddy.” IMO, it’s more about wanting to feel attractive and less about wanting to feel “special.”
I tend to only trust a guy with my heart if he genuinely feels that I’m the best woman walking the planet, but I won’t fault a guy for thinking that I, plus a thousand other women, are all attractive. Calling me “buddy,” though, implies that he does not consider me attractive at all. Kind of a downer, but I wouldn’t curse a guy out over it.
Totally different situation…”Buddy” is also used to feign coolness toward an attractive woman (to protect himself from heartbreak, or an angry close-bussed wife or girlfriend).
not true. i’ve called a chick i thought was attractive buddy, i just didnt really want anything from her. believe it or not, just cuz you hot doesnt mean i want you.
its true.
@Petey- That’s true, you may not want her, but I would have to assume that you wouldn’t turn it down if the opportunity arose…that’s the difference between men and women lol
Thanks. I was about to say just that, right there.
Why is NOT attempting to smash thee QUICKEST way to get on an attractive woman’s ish list?
Because the majority of attractive womens’ egos are so big, they don’t know how to handle a man that actually wants more than sex from them. They’re used to guys just trying to smash. But it’s a catch-22 regardless, becuse if you tried to smash, she’d likely put you in that “thirsty ninjas that just wanna smash because I’m fine as hell” category, which is equally bad.
It’s a lose-lose, huh?
This can be avoided by dating 7′s and under…
“Why is NOT attempting to smash thee QUICKEST way to get on an attractive woman’s ish list?”
Because she is horny and you don’t want to smash her. The end.
i haven’t heard anyone use “buddy” since the days when it was shorthand for “fukc buddy”.
but in my lingo i guess buddy would be the equivalent to homie/homegirl/homeboy. i take no offense to the term, regardless. but since i have some close male friends, i appreciate when they use it and it actually means that despite that 1 or both of us may find the other do-able, our friendship will be unfettered with sex and drama.
i don’t really relate to this concept, b/c i don’t really do undefined relationships. either we’re smashing, on the precipice of smashing, or we’re not. & unless a dude has demonstrated or stated explicit non-platonic intentions, we’re “not”.
i’m quick to friendzone new guys, b/c that’s honestly what i want. (unless i don’t)
@randomeffery- That’s a good policy. Ninjas should never just assume. Gotta make your intentions clear from jump. Damn all that sneaking up on her with sexual/romantic advances. Go for the kill shot early or at least let her know it’s on your list of options or spend your valuable time at your own risk. That shouldn’t be blamed on the woman. You gotta let it be known with as little subtlety as possible
Straight up! I’m so used to dealing with straight up men. Get the hell off that damn bush (no pun intended) and just give it to me straight up (again no pun intended) LOL I want a man who just puts it out there and tells me “I want you. How do you feel about me?” Bam. There it is. Deal with it. No miscommunication eva.
Nah a man should say “I wanna f*ck you!” straight up. “I want you” is goofy and is an attempt to accommodate a woman’s desire for romance while telling her the truth. 100% man sh*t, is you say it how you think it, no editing, no consideration. Also, if you tell a woman “you want her”, she’ll probably use that as a rationalization to accuse you of lying to her if she drops to the jumpoff level after sometime.
LOL… you’ll get no brownie points for that approach. So, in your world the approach to me would be straight up with a twist. LOL Otherwise, it’s just gonna be hard on the rocks. lmao
Well, now you know why men lie to you.
“i’ve called a chick i thought was attractive buddy,”
Well, okay, I can get with that. That makes me feel a little better about the term.
I’ve never called a woman “buddy”, but I have had some refer to me as such.
The whereabouts of said women are unknown.
*Pause for effect*
As in, I no longer socialize with those women…..deleted off of friends lists, unfollowed, phone numbers deleted, etc.
I hate it when a woman calls me “buddy”. That’s basically her saying that you’re forever doomed to a lifetime in the Friend Zone.
I have definitely called guys I liked “buddy” and “homie” for effect. If they act weird then my suspicions are confirmed that they don’t wanna just be my friend. lol. But dang…that’d be the end of everything with you according to you.
Yes it would. Precisely.
it is. but you can always be their “cuddle bunny”. chicks love using men they’re comfortable with but dont want to smang to cuddle.
post coming soon.
“Cuddle Bunny”? nah, I’d never use that. I’d call him what he is…”the piece”. That’s it. *snickers*
Sheeit, if were cuddling, were gonna smang. My box don’t take kindly to being teased. Unless you’re gay. Sh!t, even if you are gay, if you hugging on me, be prepared for smangage.
Nope. No bueno. That’s tantamount to women that will let every Tom, Dick (pun intended), and Harry smash, but then complain to Steve (who she rejected) that all the men out there are just trying to smash.
” chicks love using men they’re comfortable with but dont want to smang to cuddle. ”
WTF?
Did the pet shop run out of pets? Did the Build A Bear go out of business? Can’t they cuddle with their grandma?
I haven’t been there since my days in college, but yeah…cuddle buddies are real. Yeah…
PJack, Please share the benefits of men being cuddle buddies when you write about it.
No.
Would you believe there is actually a way out of the friend zone……
Yeah. The best way to get out of the Friend Zone is to simply not be her ‘friend’.
Actually its just the opposite. If she is actually pretty cool and you can have a convo without it being forced, be her friend. And just like with my male homies if you know a chick and I think she’s cute its open season AND as the homie you’re responsible for helping put your “friend” on. Run that a couple of times (especially if the friend is as cute or cuter) and you’ll break her right on up out of the bullish.
I shouldn’t have to break any woman off of bullsh*t….Especially if it’s bullsh*t she chose to be on in the first place. There’s something to be said about any woman that’s running those kinds of games. I have neither the faith nor the time for those types.
I feel like buddy, shawty or ma are definite trigger words for getting a young lady mad as hell quickly and I agree that it takes away individuality by giving them a generic label.
This is really weird but as a guy I’m not a big fan of when a girl I know for a limited calls me a friend or tries to say I’m like a brother. I have one sister and that’s a lot of work so I am not to kern on having an extra one. The word friend also brings to mind the friend zone and I have had bad experiences with jealous ninjas and late nights due to that so when a girl calls me a friend, I move on to the next. But that’s just me.
Apologies on typo but after limited, I meant to write amount of time
for me, i don’t mind so much (i suppose unless i’m totally lost on this chick), b/c it lets me know where i’m at and then how to play the situation to maximize my benefit. lol.
friends with benefits works for me. call 1-800-ABCDEFG
Guys HATE being called “harmless”. They think its our way of blowing them off or something. So stupid.
That’s because it IS a woman’s way of blowing him off.
Given the society we live in, “Harmless” means “boring”, which means “not attractive”.
+1 TRL- It’s code language for saying you do nothing for her emotions. She’s gotta be wary of some (emotional) danger when she thinks of you. Otherwise you’ll put her to sleep, and not in a J. Holliday (wit his one hit wonderin @ss) type of way. If you can’t excite fear, confusion, anxiousness etc; then go back to the drawing board and find a new chick to experiment with
B/c, as messed up as what I am about to say is, calling a man harmless to his face is like saying you are less than a man. There is a bit of disregard for him as a man in this statement. I don’t know what the equivalent for a woman is.
what she said.
Eh, I disagree. Harmless means non threatening. Why does a man need to be a threat in order to be a man? Id do a harmless man. I kinda prefer them over thr hyper macho dudes who feel like they need to insist on being harmful. To me, they are less of a man cauae they try too hard.
Because in this day and age….a harmless man is a man nobody fears. And if nobody fears you….nobody RESPECTS you.
I fear you may be a devastatingly good kisser
.
(How long is she gonna keep this ish up? It’s unseemly! You can never tell with her, she’s an odd one)
Uh….ok.
@Wild Cougar: That’s why i put that it is messed up. I don’t like the term harmless though when referring to anyone. It makes it come off like you consider the person to be weak.
Wild Cougar, I think they meant telling him to his face that he’s harmless.
+1 Mena, and +1 on everything TheRealestLeo said.
Harmless is the quickest way to make a dude feel like a Ken doll. REAL TALK.
I have called guys “one of the girls” before. After reading this, I wonder if that bruised a few egos. Oops
One of the girls? Unless he’s gay (and even then) that might be the WORST insult of all time.
*Gives LO the gold medal for unintended insults*
One of the girls? Ouch. I hope he immediately went home and eventually found a woman who thinks he’s mandingo and effed her.
+1000
NOT a compliment, unless he’s gay. And even then he’d have to be an ultra femme-type gay man.
Oh please. Who are you trying to fool? Guys know what “harmless” means.
#nicetry
This is all news to me?…yall are sensitive I guess. My thoughts… oh well on to the next. I’ve never been referred to as such. And I wouldn’t too much be bothered if I were.
everybody’s sensitive. didnt know you know that the whole town’s laughing at me?
Everyone wants to be wanted (even by people they don’t want in return)
This little observation has saved me much time and trouble in my travels.
that is an ABSOLUTE TRUTH DQ…
Aint it though? Hope is a terrible thing, when there is no hope. It sucks that it’s the truth but you gotta realize that sometimes the person wants you, and sometimes they just want your praise and attention.
If that woman (or man) puts you in a friendzone, take your “talents” to another franchise.
Mmhmm, ain’t it the truth? Some rather sick people will go to great lengths to keep a person around just to get praise and attention. Those people should be subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques.
But that waterboard tho? You taking it all the way there? I’ma start calling you Wild Rumsfeld. #NoCountry4LetsJustBeFriends
LMAO
PJack’s post made me wonder the men this women were using PJack as a cock block against. She blocked her blessings. Literally. Because what man is going to be interested in dating her after seeing how she responded to PJack?
Yet, a man being friendzoned never means that he’s blocking his access to women who want to have sex with him, date him, everything.
Excellent point. Women will do stuff like that, then wonder why nothing but lames, schemers and other assorted ne’erdowells always check for them. Women don’t realize, but guys watch how you treat other guys and will adjust their respect for you accordingly.
Most women subscribe to the philosophy of relativity, in other words nothing is bar none, and cause and effect aren’t set in stone. Thus, they never see how the dumb stuff they do leads to dumb results. That’s why hoes want to be treated like debutantes, and prudes want to be treated like high class escorts.
Never thought of it from that point of view.
Hey, welcome back Yoles!
people need Jesus.
Ah yes the dreaded “buddy” – a few months ago I thought I was rekindling something with my ex until he said, “night buddy” and that’s when I knew there was nothing there. In fact, I think he shortened it to “bud” – even worse!
Another one that I’m starting to hate is “homie” – is this just another way of saying, “I think you’re really cool but it’ll never be more than that?”
depends. i call ninjas homey all the time. but i like the word. but i also dont tend to overthink every interaction so maybe i’m a bad person.
I was friends with this one guy that called me “buddy” all the time, then when we started liking each other, we called each other “buddy boo”. I was cool with the cheesy pet names, in general, I would think I’d been banished to the Friend Zone if a guy I was feelin called me “buddy”. If I wasn’t interested, I probably wouldn’t care & would call him “buddy” as well.
Can’t recall ever being called “buddy” by someone I liked, probably wouldn’t give much of a care if it happened. I’d rather be called that than “boo” or some other cutesy name & the guy wasn’t feeling me like that.
I know some people hate it but I love the word “boo”. It’s cute.
Boo reminds me of that Alicia Keys song
I very rarely call a woman “Friend.” I’ve only done it to ex girlfriends who’ve wronged me in some way (read: cheated), yet still wants us remain friends as if nothing happened. She’d flip the f*ck. Though to be fair, it probably had something to do with the fact that I’d no longer refer to her by name but only as “Friend.” Add to that everytime it was said, it was done sarcastically which more or less meant “Yea, we’re about as ‘friendly’ as the s*men that ruined your make-up the other day, wh*re.” Other than those times, I’ve called a female “friend” very rarely.
Now that “like a sister” sh*t? I never do. I’m attracted to (read: I want to ultra-smash) like 90% of my female friends. I do not consider any of them a relative of any kind. My name is not Jimbob. I’m not f*cking anyone I consider family.
But as for women not liking being called buddy or whatever….HA! How the f*ck does that feel?! Yea, with your Friendzone this, and your Friendzone that, sh*t sucks don’t it? *Phew* Sorry for the outburst.
Believe it or not, we are not totally unfamiliar with being kept under glass. Our purgatory is called the Option zone.
Actually Royale, you’d be a cute option. Why don’t you sign this contract here? I promise you a lifetime supply of toasted ravioli while you wait and get an occasional booty call.
Oh boy! Can I get marinara sauce, too?
Of course you can marinara sauce! Nothing but the best for my options!
@Todd- Back off homie! She’s spoken for! Royale really?! Really?! U gon just act like I ain’t sittin right here?! Really doe?! Smh, knew I should’ve hopped up on The Anti-Cool. You jus a teasin arse flirt smh lol
Lateral movement is allowed in Options Zone. Todd will never notice. If you can hook me up with a fried tripe sammichwith hot space, mustard and pi(R)ckles, just say the word and I’m your buddy.
Space = sauce
I don’t get the anger. I hear about it a lot, and I try to understand, but I don’t get how a woman (or group of women) not wanting to do the horizontal Dougie with you would make men so mad at women.
It’s basic rejection. That hurts, but why angry? She’s wrong for not wanting your wang? It she’s wrong for wanting your friendship sans wang? She’s wrong for not wanting your wang cause you’re a “good guy”?
What’s the offense here?
It’s invalidating one’s existence as a s.exual and romantic entity. That whole emotional intimacy stuff and wanting to share their thoughts and feelings and emotions with another human being.
How does one person not wanting you invalidate you? That’s just life. Some people want you some don’t. Not something to get mad about. Mad implies something is unfair. Like you’re entitled to the poon if your choice. You know that’s silly, right?
I actually agree with WC here. No need for ppl to get all butt hurt about someone not making sexing you a priority (same goes for women when it comes to men not wanting to commit to you exclusively) but we all know that’s not how it works in reality when emotions and egos are inevitable no matter how much we all would rather them not be involved. We all gotta tread lightly wit other ppl’s feelings and whatnot…such is the world we live in. But yeah, don’t sit there and allow them to torture you. Bounce before it gets pathetic on your end. You don’t want that type of pain combined with embarassment. Unless you’re boo boo the fool lol
You are 100% right. But feelings (of anyone, male or female) aren’t logical.
It’s not necessarily just one person that could invalidate someone. But when you have years and years of rejection….one can’t help but feel like Timbs in July.
To answer in a more general way, men hate being in the “friend zone” because they were trying to have some sort of romantic relationship with the woman. I don’t know why they accept the “friendship” if that’s not what they wanted. If a dude’s your friend he wouldn’t be passive-aggressive regarding his situation as “only” your friend because he doesn’t consider it a situation.
Truth. Nothing sucks worse than going all-out trying to approach a woman only for her to not only reject you, but then throw that “Friend Zone” at you as a consolation prize.
Even more so when said woman ends up smashing one of your homies instead.
Wild Cougar, I took the offense to mean the women who get an attitude about a man she claims to not want.
Meaning women who don’t want the wang but get offended because he no longer wants to be her friend as soon as he learned she doesn’t want the wang. And women who think his social life should be spent with her cuddling and no sex, and is surprpised when he drops the friendship to pursue a woman who is into him, wants the cuddle and sex.
It’s not maddening. It’s annoying. The reason why guys complain about this a lot is not the rejection aspect of it. It’s the aftermath. You treat a female like a queen, but she not feeling you that way. Ok, fine I can handle rejection. Then this same woman goes off and dates a guy who treats her…well…not so good. Again, that’s fine, it’s her choice. She can date who she wants to date.
However, where the extreme annoyance comes in at is when, after she breaks up with ol’ dude, she has the audacity to make the sickening claim that ALL men are garbage/dogs/etc. What’s worse, is that she goes on to list the things she wants in a man. That’s when you notice that most of the sh*t she’s listing, are things you have done before or are doing now. Yet she continues to act like NO man has done right by her despite the fact you just got done single handedly wrestling and beating a Great White, with Seal meat taped to your body, whilst you were blindfolded.
It’s like, WTF are you complaining about? YOU chose him.
“the horizontal Dougie”
Poetry. *shedding a tear…slow deliberate clap*
” Yea, with your Friendzone this, and your Friendzone that, sh*t sucks don’t it?”
lmao! Tell em why you mad son! lolol, you got me dyin over here lol
I don’t think I’ve ever been called buddy. I agree I wouldn’t like it. I call everybody homie.
I’m seeing that it’s an issue for women and men who want to keep options open to allow things to be romantic-ish but at the same time not put themselves out there to be hurt. . . . well kids grow the Fu*x up can expect so much reward without taking a little risk!!! its the same damn game since elementary skool, ” do u like me?check a box: yes, no, maybe.”
I say evolve past that, be a total ambiguous dork to everyone all the time except ur true circle of friends, let others go out there way trying to see where they stand and the ones with enough maturity will be an adult and actually say how they feel, the rest of the children will go along to play that game with someone else. that’s how I have been my whole life, I don’t try to have sex with my friends. if I’m treating a woman as a potential mate, she gets a level of attention I do not give to my friends, she will know she ain’t in that circle BY MY ACTIONS which do speak louder than words ever will.
typo: u can’t expect so much reward without a little risk
I like this response.
Wow…that’s good stuff. Noted.
Say it loud!
Absolutely loved this!!!!
BAM! I don’t know how to be any other way but direct.
be a total ambiguous dork to everyone all the time
Hey, that’s me!!! I knew i was doing something right…
+1 griffdamagician
That’s what I’m talking about. Go big or go home.
You know, being a fool for somebody isn’t the end of the world. I’ve been on both sides. Sharing a story about how wide my wide was open at the wrong time and place has illustrated my humanity and has done way more for my attractiveness than anything else. Sometimes we need to worry less about being right and just be for real #Parliament.
*my nose wide open
…on second thought, was this response relevant at all? #MarguritaNumberTwo
I don’t mind being called buddy, but I put this on the fact that I am called this almost every time I speak to my platonic male friends… of the Australian variety. For some reason, calling me ‘buddy’ or ‘lordette’ is their thing at the moment.
If a guy I was interested in called me buddy then to me it’s pretty clear what his intentions are. I’m in the friend zone, right? So why would I want him to call me anything else if he wasn’t feeling it? For me it would be one of those said-but-unsaid moments that made me realise that Mr Buddy isn’t interested.
… and I think I’ve come to that conclusion because calling a dude ‘buddy’ or ‘homie’ is my way of saying-without-having-to-say that it isn’t going to be anything much more, ever
I know too many Jamaican people. Being called Buddy would be worthy of either a chuckle or great insult depending on the tone of voice. Buddy = D!ck in my lexicon.
PJ, you know what the male equivalent of “buddy” is? Say that I’m a sweet guy, and don’t make it refer to me being gay. Not only will I think I’ve been friendzoned, but I think that in your head, you’re considering pledging to Moo Psi Moo, milk it, milk it, milk it! The second I hear that, I’m thinking that you’re looking to milk this friendship for whatever benefits it gets for you without you giving a flying f*ck about my feelings. I can handle being called a friend if I think you might actually be a worthwhile friend. But sweet? Aw HELL NO!
yeah…that’s it right there. lol.
though if a chick calls you sweet after you smash you just might be in there. for ever.
#truth! Though it can mean either you wrecked shop or you were OK, but for whatever reason, she’s gonna let it slide and keep it moving. Either way, it’s a win though.
” The second I hear that, I’m thinking that you’re looking to milk this friendship for whatever benefits it gets for you without you giving a flying f*ck about my feelings. I can handle being called a friend if I think you might actually be a worthwhile friend. But sweet? Aw HELL NO!”
+2 and Petey’s right. It’s allowed just not preferred if we’ve already did the McNasty. I’ll never like it, but depending on the context it could be favorable. Most often though it’s either condescending, an insult wrapped in bows and flowers, or just chick talk for appreciative and generous. But yeah, before I smang you just insulted me and made me consider either A)bouncing or B) becoming more of an arsehole so you see me as the nuanced and conflicted individual I actually am. Either way, be aware of what you’re starting…lol
See, I simply don’t do this sh!t. It’s disrespectful as f*ck. How you gonna be friends with someone you’re using. Someone you don’t respect. That sh!t turns my stomach. If I’m not into you like that, were probably not going to be hanging out. That hopeful attention makes me uncomfortable cause you look foolish.
If you can’t be used, then I guess you’re useless.
@MictM- Poignant…SLIGHTLY *ssholish but brilliant nonetheless lol
If youre a person.who gets their self esteem on the backs of others, like a parasite. Then yeah, I can see that.
Wow. That’s dark. That’s just. Wow.
I see women who do that…often…and it’s very disrespectful. I empathize with men on this one. If I know a guy really likes me yet I don’t like him, I’m going to be sensitive to how I treat him. I become a little distant so I don’t lead him on. The only man I take favors from are family members. Otherwise, it’s called taking advantage.
Morally I can agree… but here’s something else life has taught me:
“That things that are in your best interest are your responsibility”
If that chick isn’t feeling you, you continue to pursue at YOUR own risk. Should she cut things off of forego taking favors from you? I’d say yes, but it’s a judgment call. The one call that isn’t subjective is the one that you do protect yourself. If you don’t protect yourself, don’t expect anyone else to.
#ijs
But that person is not your friend. Your friend wants what’s best for you.
” Your friend wants what’s best for you. ”
Yep.
Good point!
A guy I used to date used to call me “dude” at the beginning. He said it was a general term reserved for people he was cool with. Over time he stopped. Then..he picked up calling me that again. I noticed and asked him if he wanted to talk abt our relationship. He said no and that everything was fine. The next day (I kid you not) he broke up with me. I consider it a lesson learned. Next time ill go with my gut!
yeah, ive had chicks get mad at me for saying “dude”.
“i’m not a dude and i’m not just some homey of yours”
“word? my bad.”
“thank you”
“so where you want to eat, pimpin?”
*steam coming out of her ears*
Loooool!! Omfg your THAT guy? Excuse me while i kill myself lmao
I don’t understand what the problem is here. Everything appears to be in order.
LMAO @ Where you want to eat pimpin’. I would have bust out laughing.
I’ve never been called buddy per say. I was def about to type that where I come from, buddy literally means penis! lol! but Rhenewal beat me to the punch
soooo yeaaaaa if I were to be called that, i’d stare at you like you’re retarded…then walk away and leave you standing there. Now don’t get me wrong i’m aware that in America it means “friend” but i’m too used to it meaning penis to immediately put it into context all the time. I mean its always meant that in my household and still does. So to hear it outside being used differently, the light bulb won’t immediately click. On another note, I have been called friend by a dude I liked and it sucked but on to the next one, I went.
See? That “on to the next one” is the mature way to go about it. I won’t ever get men and women who hang around when they KNOW their is no haps, and then get mad when their sheer relentlessness doesn’t pay off.
It’s your emotion, your money, your time that’s being wasted if you keep chasing someone not interested in being caught.
THIS needs to be on a t-shirt for the masses’ eyes.
” It’s your emotion, your money, your time that’s being wasted if you keep chasing someone not interested in being caught.”
So this is like the anti-(friends first) type message. I mean, I’d never use the word buddy, but I throw out “this is my friend” or even “she’s like a sister to me” to some ladies who I wound up dating later. Now I’m finding out this is a dating no-no?
Its too many rules to this game.
true. forget games. just always play to win.
First time commenting…Anyway
“BAD”.The one word that sends me over the edge,I remember the first time a guy called me BAD he was like “my homeboy was right you are BAD” when he saw me in a dress..I took it in the literal meaning and sorta went off explaining how am a good girl and ish, my friend had to pull me aside and explain to me. Yikes! I got a pass i’m not from here i don’t do well with slang.
LOL. yeah…step your slanguage up.
Lol its getting better.
“red bone” makes my skin crawl.
You prefer “lil yella thang”, right?
lmao @ Corey! @SFG- What about peach? or maybe crayola “Aint u crayola?” (this one dude at a club said that to my sister’s very melanin-challenged friend in an attempt to identify her as creole” FAIL lol) #IlikethemGApeachesbutyoulookmorelikealemon! lmao
Lmao! I don’t like anything referring to my skin color except “Black”…you can call me “s3xy Black”
Red Tails.
and his homebody may want to take you out on a date in that dress. I’m just sayin’. lol
Ladies, how do you feel about being called his “buddy”? I would look him dead in his face and ask him if he graduated past elementary school. The term has never been used in reference to me and I have never used it either. Probably b/c the only people I know who use the term buddy are white southern guys when they talk about each other. Yep, buddy sounds like something two 9 yr old boys call each other. The girl didn’t have a right to bite off your head but she did have a right to get silent on the phone…for a long minute.
And what words send men over the edge? If a guy is interested, any term that isn’t one of endearment will send him over the edge or on the defense. Let’s be honest here, when a man’s feelings come into play, they are just as (if not more) sensitive than women. You can call him friend, homie, dude, like a brother, etc and he will get his feelings hurt. He may not show it but trust that he will catalog it into the back of his brain.
I don’t know if it’s what you say, but how you say it with men along with what other agendas they have going. Of course there are dudes who are going to flip out, but they were going to flip out no matter what you said. They were just looking for an excuse, and it was between you and the Yankees blowing that 6 run lead, but since Mariano shut it down, well…
Also, a guy might need you around for whatever reason, so even if he is pissed, he figured being pissed might mess with his plans somehow. A dude might just wanna stunt like he got a woman for his friends, or need you for some connect you have, or butter you up for a home-cooked meal or who knows whatever else. Sad as it is to say, but you have no control over his reaction, win lose or draw, over being friendzoned.
I shouldnt have put over the edge or on the defense. I should have put that no one wants to be friend zoned if they are feeling the other person. So regardless of if it is a man or woman, being called anything along the lines of buddy (again, this term is what children use) isn’t going to make that person give you a high five.
yeah…a man in his feelings might kill you.
Actually, in my experience, the only guys who call you “buddy” are the ones who like you, and they’re trying to downplay it. As soon as a guy uses that word, I suspect that he’s feeling me. And I usually find out that I’m right. I mean, why else would anyone use such a lame word when addressing anyone over the age of 11? It’s quite telling, in my opinion. But whether that’s the case or not, it is never that serious. Anyone who gets that mad over being called “buddy” needs a hug and a hobby.
EXACTLY! people say it as a test or to downplay their feelings! lol.
That is exactly how I see it.
i’ve learned in life that most people revert to 12 year old games when it comes to early onset romance.
+1 at Around the Way Girl’s comment and Panama’s response. Ninjas be in denial. The sh*t’s chess not checkers! Denzel FTW again lol
So true
To me, buddy = “I have no intention of ever being exclusive with you.”
That’s pretty cut and dry. I’m not sure they the girl in your scenario even got mad if she didn’t want you. I’m not sure why she cared. (Maybe you were reading that wrong….or telling us half the story. You sure no peen got slid through those flowers and poetry? I’m not buying it.)
I even recall at least one forgettable “rap” song about a girl being a guy’s “little buddy.” It’s just your everyday male trickery to make you think he really likes you as a person, as a friend, and values your personality. So when chex somehow happens it was a fun, drunken night between friends right? Because you knew you were just friends; he called you buddy.
I’ve had to check a kat more than a time or two. Usually they wanna use “buddy” when they’re on the phone and not wanting to look like they’re caking around their folks.
If we’ve exchanged bodily fluids, in any aspect– I’m not your f*ckin’ buddy, and I will definitely drive that point home, keep that cute ish for someone else.
He’ll never hear the end of it either, until he apologizes. He’ll be trying push up, and I’ll be quick to remind him that “I’m your buddy, remember? Back up dawg. “
See this is why as a man you have to be consistent. I always use the terms pimpin, homie, fool, and nucca interchangeably. The great thing is they’re all gender neutral so unless you just saying some extra simpish type ish nobody knows you sittin up getting your Duncan Hines on.
LMAO.
Corey…keepin’ it real.
@ Corey- A sage you are. Consistency is for winners lol. That’s the best defense possible for when interpretation is involved. Gender neutral interchangeable terms of endearment are the best social invention men have created in the last 20 years. Friends w/benefits was the most overrated phrase because so many ninjas picked up on it smh lol
“Why would these women who seemingly don’t want to be with me get so offended at the use of the term “buddy”.”
Because women want the “right of first refusal”. They’re so accustomed to to turning down men that they feel they can have ANY man. So if a guy chooses to friendzone them, it’s a blow to their ego…even if that guy was never a potential.
Best example…..when sisters see a brother with another race, and have ill will towards it…..when in reality, that brother would NEVER have a chance with her ANYWAY. She’d never give him a chance…..yet she’s bother by it.
That’s a great way of putting it. Women generally don’t take rejection well in any form, and being rejected in such an off-handed way like calling them a buddy completely invalidates their whole “I get to choose muthaf*cka!!!” movement.
Because women want the “right of first refusal”. No one wants to be refused first and we all have egos. This isn’t just for men or women. This is for EVERYONE. Who wants to be rejected first? No one.
True, but who is in the position of the right of first refusal more often? Unless a guy is a major baller or somehow in some elite public position, he’s not the one choosing who they get with. On the flip side, relatively few women are in a position where they are not in a position to reject someone.
Church..
truth.com
” True, but who is in the position of the right of first refusal more often? Unless a guy is a major baller or somehow in some elite public position, he’s not the one choosing who they get with. On the flip side, relatively few women are in a position where they are not in a position to reject someone.”
+3 It’s as simple as that
Right to refusal? I’d say that’s accurate since men generally do the asking.
yep. that right of first refusal things sounds right. in fact it is right. damn them and their liliputian hands!
lilliputian hands? lmao
Yes right of first refusal yes
this is true
*Slow Clap*
“Because women want the “right of first refusal”.
Given the choice, I think both men and women equally want the right of first refusal…it’s the American (and Canadian) way.
If….given the choice. Men are rarely afforded that though.
Having a potential suitor or boyfriend refer to you as a”buddy” is one thing but when your HUSBAND calls you “buddy”…….excuse me while I count backwards from 1000….999, 998, 997…
um…ouch? lol. but aint that a good thing cuz buddy is like a friend…no? and dont people want ot be friends with their spouses?
PJ…your first response was the correct one (i.e. OUCH)…there is no way you can put a band-aid on this gun shot wound to my heart to make it better. “Buddy” is an evil evil word!!!!!!!!!!
Does your husband get his shits and giggles from making you mad, sometimes?
*looks through my phone to see what woman i can antagonize by calling buddy*
Not when a buddy tells a group of ninjas to all get into a circle so she can freak them.
You know what?
SHE FREAKED THEM!
Sorry. Wrong spot.
SPAM ALERT
lol no spam – I don’t want that much drama in my life
A few of my male friends say, “Hey Buddy”…I don’t have a problem with it. We’re friends and it’s cool. All of my male friends get , “Hey Man!” greeting. They like it and feel special…surprisingly.
I started this my freshman year in college…before everyone had cell phones. Guys would call my room, and I’d say, “Hey Man!” enthusiastically. They thought I recognized their voice…yeah right. It never failed me and prevented any awkward situations created by calling someone the wrong name.
Is actually like to have a buddy to go to brunch with and do other things guys only do before the get the panties and not after. Applicants? You can see me as a sister, but you can’t get mad cause I’m doin another guy. Deal?
Hellz no. lol
Hell yeah we can do brunch…
We’re going Dutch tho…
#NoDivaDude
Sure, buddy! I pay for mine. Then we an go to Starbucks and talk about politics and religion and then we can rent bikes and ride along the river, then we can walk around Wegmans and get some good cheese and then…
…then #wegotogether
right?
Being called buddy is insulting no matter what I want from the man. Buddy sounds like a mentally challenged individual. Or maybe that’s “Little buddy”? I don’t know but either one will get you a punch in the throat. I was on Facebook chat when a male friend called me “Dog” which made my left eyebrow shoot up. He really is a friend, I’m not attracted to him at all but I didn’t like it.
Calling a man a “friend” seems to upset them heavily. I called a male friend my “twinsie” the other day and he promptly told me to “can that sh*t, do I look like one of your b*tches”. -_- I need new buddies.
Also, I’d like to mention that where I’m from, “buddy” means d*ck. Let me put that in a sentence for you…”You must quint pon di buddy!”
“I don’t know but either one will get you a punch in the throat”
I approve this message.
Calling a man a “friend” seems to upset them heavily. I called a male friend my “twinsie” the other day and he promptly told me to “can that sh*t, do I look like one of your b*tches” You know you kinda deserved that remark right?
I get what he was saying though. A man is a man. No matter what, as long as he acts like a man, he should be respected as such. No man in my life will ever be my twinsie.
LOL yep I didn’t get mad. He was right. That was a sign to me and him that he’s gotten too settled in the friend zone. I even slipped up once and called one of my homeboys “Girl” once. True story. smh
“I even slipped up once and called one of my homeboys “Girl” once. True story. smh” LOL. I’m gone need for you to do better.
Well being married I refer to close male friends as bro or brother. They in turn call me sis. What was striking once though was when I referred to a close male friend (brother) as being “safe.” He obviously didn’t want me to think of him as safe letting it be known that wasn’t a cool word to label any man by. hmmm…
http://doingmemindbodyandspirit.blogspot.com/2012/01/todays-prayer.html
When a female calls me “buddy” or “homie” is interpreted as the proverbial Kiss of Death, I know I’ll be nothing but the Mid-Tuesday lunch date partner and who actually goes to Lunch on Tuesday with someone they like?
Certainly not the wise man.
Awww…i think lunch dates are cute
Basically, this is just putting someone in the “friend zone”. No one likes that shit. I’ve done it a few times. There was one woman in particular though…I knew she had a crush on me. Still, I would ask for her advice when it came to other women. I did that one time too many, and she did the smartest thing possible. She stopped talking to me outright.
I’ve done the same thing over the years, which is why I say I don’t get put in the “friend zone”. I get put in the “person that’s going to blow you off instead of talking to you” zone. If someone you’re into calls you “buddy” or “just a friend”, your best move is to fade into the ether. You don’t have to be nasty to them. Just make them less of a priority.
Ok…so what is it when a woman calls you “hun”???
It means you’re probably in a diner, located south of the Mason / Dixon line. Enjoy your bacon and eggs, and tip your waitress generously.
LMFAO
I say hun and sweetie ALL THE TIME. It’s what i call every guy. It’s b/c i am southern. Trust me when I say that men’s faces light up when I call them this. Some take it as me flirting. I then have to explain that I am from the south and this is how we roll.
I’m the southern anomaly I guess…actually I don’t call everyone sweetie, or hun.
If he’s called sweetie, he’s “the sweetie”. I do have a habit of using sir/ma’am a bit too frequently though…lol
It became a habit that I couldn’t shake. It does surprise guys when I use it though. It’s quite cute. If anything, it comes off as endearing.
And with the sir and ma’am, I will always use these terms. You just need to make sure that person you are using it on is a person of authority or much older than you. Nothing like calling someone ma’am or sir and they are near your age. Opps.
That’s what women use when they think you’re slow.
o_O
What about when a man calls a woman hun or sweetie? A guy did that to me, and I swear it was because he couldn’t remember my name. Or maybe he was lazy? Or maybe he thought it was what I wanted to hear? I dunno what it was, but I really didn’t like it. There seemed to be something disingenuous about it, but maybe it was just him.
This does make it easier when I cant remember a man’s name which happens. The hun replaces the need for me to remember. I
LOL, I went through a “hun” phase in college. Used it all the time. I was honestly just tryna be cute. Perhaps a little flirty.
On the real, being called Booboo,what am I your hood pet, a rottweiler or pitbull or something?
That’s sooo wrong considering there is BooBoo the Fool.
Or being called sweetie, I am not your gay male friend.
How about Sir. I like calling men I’m interested in sir. It cracks me up. I don’t know why.
Actually sir is acceptable. It usually comes in a jovial tone and often to emphasize verbal jabs and punchlines to jokes. So I can dig it
Sir is ok along with Mister, (no Color Purple)
LOL, I ALWAYS use “mister.” With lots of guys. Being flirty and whatnot.
Also, about the only thing worse than calling a woman “buddy” is saying something like “You’re a good kid”. That’s like saying she’s a little girl, and not mature enough to be involved with you. It probably ranks right alongside telling her she’s like a little sister.
co-sign
Ladies on a scale of 1-100, 100 being the worst, how offended would you be if I called you my:
a) Holler Back
b) Boo-meringue
c) CNSSS (Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the Side)
d) Serena Williams Stunt Double
e) Moschino Heaux/Versace Hottie
f) buddy/homie
Please round up all answers to the nearest 5.
Thank you,
Management
d) Serena Williams Stunt Double. This one depends. Do you find her attractive and stacked?
I might… but you don’t know that… all you know is that I call you her stunt double…
and…
ACTION!
*Rolls camera to see Mena’s response*
100 being the worst:
a) Holler Back: Can’t rate. Would never happen.
b) Boo-meringue: Lost on this one.
c) CNSSS (Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the Side): Depends on how much you like CNSSS but unless you describe me as chocolate, you will get a side eye and hard laugh. This is a 50, completely indifferent.
d) Serena Williams Stunt Double: I think that she is attractive and her body is sick. This is a 1.
e) Moschino Heaux/Versace Hottie: Also 50.
f) buddy/homie: Are you a 9 year old? This is a 90/Homie is cool. This is a 5.
DQ?……..Why are you trying to slay me before I have had the opportunity to give birth? CNSSS…..Moschino Heaux/Versace Hottie (RIP BIG)……..Serena Williams Stunt Double??? LMAO!!!!!
HA! Might as well call her the Egg McMuffin of your female acquaintences lol Ladies how would u feel about that one? lmao!
The same way you should feel if i said, “sweetie, you are hung like a rhesus monkey.”
LMMFAO! Never heard of a rhesus monkey. And I consider myself a monkey connoisseur lol
a) Holler Back
100…
b) Boo-meringue
100… WTH is this?
c) CNSSS (Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the Side)
50… Kind of funny so at least we could laugh about it while play fighting… but we’re definitely just friends with no potential. This is actually kind of reminds me of when Hav asked Hill Harper does she look like a biscuit or some fries, and then asked why was he treating her like a side order? Shout Out to “Hav Plenty”!!!
d) Serena Williams Stunt Double
100… she sometimes takes a nice pic, but she looks like a f**** man! Stop playing!!! LOL
e) Moschino Heaux/Versace Hottie
100…again WTH is this?
f) buddy/homie
5…
d) Serena Williams Stunt Double
100… she sometimes takes a nice pic, but she looks like a f**** man! Stop playing!!! LOL
Dang! Really?!? I think that she is attractive. I totally gave this one a 1. Her body is not to be played with. This is why I asked if he found her attractive. But i guess saying being someone’s stunt double is a clue into how he feels she looks. Now if he would have said “precious’ stunt double” he deserves to be punched in the left side of his throat and spat in his right eye.
LMAO @ all the terms
Dude, they’re all 100. Sweetie, you’d be fired. No friendzone holding pattern for you, buddy. When a phone call came from you, homie, it would be rejected immediately with no fake “let it ring ’til it goes to voicemail” games. Sorry, pal.
What about “pal”? (Do *we* even use “pal”?)
I see you Seinfeld.
When a woman uses “pal” I think she’s talking about her vibrator.
Why do women need you to validate whether they’re special?
I laughed and laughed when you described her going off over “buddy.” You miss a bullet. She got free dinners, flowers and poems out of you knowing good and darned well she didn’t want you. Then had the nerve to go off on “buddy”?
Being blunt has its benefits.
“Richard*, get up off this floor. I am not going to marry you. We haven’t even been on a date and I don’t want to date you.”
I have never been called a buddy nor have I called another man, woman, cat, fish that.
“My buddy” probably pissed her off because she didn’t want a title and only wanted the dinners at the Olive Garden or the local fried fish joint.
(* not his real name.)
What kind of grown people use the term buddy at all? Maybe I’m just old, but I don’t refer to anyone as a buddy or bud, and as far as I know, no one refers to me that way either. How they explain me to others when I’m not looking is their business, but no one calls me buddy to my face. I don’t think I’d be insulted, but I would find it odd. I admit to using the term ‘mate’ instead of a proper name when in an argument, but it’s not a reflection of our relationship. I’ve called both my now ex husband and my father mate by accident (by accident because I don’t think it’s respectful to call your parents mate/dude). I’ve called suitors mate and girlfriends mate, but I don’t actually mean friend when I’m calling you mate instead of your name. Does that make sense? If I’m describing you as a mate, then I mean you’re a friend, otherwise mate is just a substitute for your name. Nothing more, nothing less, and it has no bearing on the nature of our relationship.
And I want to make sure I understand something correctly- men and women cannot be friends? This is the vibe I’m getting here, but I might be misinterpreting it. Perhaps it’s that we can’t we be friends if either party considers the other to be potential romance material? Can someone clear this up for me? Cheers!
Jodz are you British or Australian?
I think the gist is that men and women have different logic and their logics cause problems when they try to be friends or think they are friends when the other person just found out they’re just…friends.
Neither, mate!
I’m American, but I relearned English while living in Australia.
Thanks for the tip. I was truely feeling a bit confused by the friend/buddy, we’re not down with that thing. It makes sense if you think your relationship is something it isn’t, I guess. If someone called me buddy, I’d raise an eyebrow, if they referred to me as their friend, I’d raise Cain! I’m just teasing. But I would be kinda cheesed off if I thought I was his girlfriend or at least someone special. But then if you are someone special, and not yet a girlfriend, how should you be addressed?
Buddy??? Oh hellllll naw! *throws iPhone at him and storms off*
I’ve never called a woman by “buddy”, shoot I don’t call most of them my friends. Why would you add that word to, “how are you doing?” Isn’t that enough by itself?
i don’t think my ego could handle being called buddy by a man i was interested in. i’d immediately disassociate from said buddy. lol.
nawl playa.
ironically, when you DO stop associating with that person, that’s when they want to whisper sweet very un-buddylike things to you. smh.
It’s confusing. The friend terms can be the brush off and the undercover “I’m really into you” term. I have experienced more than once the guy who proclaimed that I was “like a sister” only to make his feelings known that he liked me and certainly did not see me as a sister. My point is, it happens. Are these friend terms also a “holding term” with intentions to date, or before an official relationship? For example, What do guys call a person they want to date? Like if you two (guy and the lady he is interested in) are talking and you introduce her, how do you introduce her? What do folks call a person that they are dating, they like, are getting to know but not in relationship with yet? It’s too soon to be introduced as ” this is my lady” or “my girlfriend”, so what do you you say? Do you only introduce her by name?
I don’t like the word buddy at all, not even with female friends. When you call me buddy I’m just going to assume we’re not going to be lifelong friends. This isn’t so much about a guy saying that to me. Anybody can say that to me and I’ll just think we’re not real friends.
“Buddy” has become one of the pet names my person & I use. But it might be obvious from the fact that I call him my person that the ethos of our relationship is built on an assumption of atypicality.
And, to go even further, it’s probably the non-specialness of the term that makes it special for me. He’s the kind of guy who’s really good at making other people feel special; it’s how he relates socially. So, the marker (of specialness) I need from him is that he doesn’t have to do that with me all the time. It’s what sets our relationship apart. I’m sure he wouldn’t call any other girl buddy, because, yes, it would annoy them.
All of which I forgot before calling a friend of mine who was attracted to me buddy. It only took him a couple times to go from light-hearted disbelief to an insistence that I stop. I’ll remember that in future.
What you wanna be, cause I can’t pretend! What you wanna be, more than friends. Hold me tight and don’t let go, don’t let go..have the right to lose control, don’t let go.
The anthem of my life that signals a retreat and red flag soon after the buddy/friend/sister cannon blasts off. I’ve gotta go back to reading this blog in the morning when I wake up, cause ya’ll can’t have me going to bed this depressed.
If a dude calls you “ma’am”…your’e in “like a mother” territory, which is WAY worse than “buddy” or “like a sister”. *noose*
I cant believe the word is BUDDY?!?
Even with the hint I dont belive it.
The reason I dont believe it? Well I work as a mechanic and awhile ago we were all in the lunchroom lounging. One dude gets up to go to the bathroom and this other fella (we all believe he is gay) takes his seat once he leaves the room.
Well dude comes back see’s his seat taken and says ‘hey buddy you stole my chair’
OK all is fine till fluff boy starts screeching ‘I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY A BUDDY IS SOMEONE YOU FUKC IN THE ARSE!’ ?!? Till than I thought I knew what a ‘buddy’ was i have not used that word since.
Ummm.. this issue is the bain of my existence right now. I’ve disappointed so many dudes calling them “friends” and ‘homies.” But what do I do? My thing is, we meet, we go out a few times, and I realize that I’m not that into you. Not because your an a**hole or because your crazy, but just because I don’t feel the chemistry. So then I pull the “homie” card on you, just to ensure there is no miscommunication on where this is heading. Let’s just be friends. Is that so wrong? I feel like it just comes with the territory of dating..
Read my comment below. It’s not wrong to let a guy know your not interested. However, be definitive about it. i have close female friends who I was interested in and they were explicit about being friends and we been cool ever since. Yet, out of those female friends half would definitely try and set me up with another female and the other half would front like I was too good for some of their friends. Maybe I am, maybe i’m not. Let me and you peoples figure it out. All i’m saying is the real women who just want to be friends…Do things that friends would do for you (not cock-block, be honest about a topic, etc). If you are telling the brother no fine, but don’t stop the next chick who would be interested if you are out together.
I’m kinda tempted on texting a bunch of females “Wat’s going on Buddy?” to see what happens & compare their responses with some of your comments on here – Live life on the edge!
This article was so on point its hilarious. However, some women do deserve to be called buddy. I have a close friend who I was interested in when we first met , but wasn’t 100% if i wanted to pursue it or not or if she was interested back. Before i could make up my my she told me she looked at me like a “brother” (an actual family member, not what i actually am0. It wasn’t even two weeks when she said it. Decision made for me…she is called buddy from now on. don’t get me wrong, it worked out for the better, but like anything that’s presented the option would have been nice.
One more thing. Ladies, if a guy is showing interest and you recognize it, but you don’t stop it even though you aren’t interested at all…you deserve what you get. ESPECIALLY BEING CALLED A BUDDY. those type of women are the same ones who will stay telling a dude lets just be friends, but wouldn’t dare want to see the same dude with either another chick or set him up with one of her girlfriends who would like him. “Oh she’s not good enough for you”. Stop that ladies. you know ya’ll do that and its foul.