“yeah, i walked in the shower. i’m not a homosexual or nothing like that, but kobe had no clothes on.”
—ron artest
as camfra¹ continues to prove, many straight men frequently and happily partake in behavior more suspect than conrad murray. while we don’t actually acknowledge these acts as being gay, rest assured, there’s some sh*t we do that’s gayer than christmas morning.
thing is, all straight acts of gayness aren’t created equal. there’s a distinct difference between bruno (very gay) and a bare-chested barroom brawl (slightly less gay, but still very gay).
today, as a service from verysmartbrothas.com, the champ has created a straight men’s gayness gauge, a useful ledger to let you know exactly what percentage of gayness each act entails. enjoy and sh*t.
98.7%
being violently homophobic
***is there anything more ironic than the fact that the people responsible for making the most homophobic music ever created on the planet were probably dressed like this…
…when they produced it?***
84.9%
being so afraid of the possible misperception of your heterosexuality that you unironically preface every suspect statement with “no homo”.
77.4%
intentionally sagging your pants.
the bared boxer brief is basically the male equivalent of the tramp stamp. you might as well save us all some time and tattoo a bullseye on your anus.
(at least) 72%
running a train.
***there’s actually an very user-friendly equation to figure the amount of inherent gayness with a guy’s position in a train
(p (number of guys involved) * q (your position on the train)) * 5.8
basically, if you’re running a train with five other guys and you’re third up to bat, you’ve officially committed an act that was 104.4% gay***
69%
prison sex.
***unless your cellmate happens to be prince. if so, the percentage of gayness goes down to 35.9 percent. ***
60.2%
being a seven year old boy
if you don’t believe me, go to a local park this weekend and count how many extremely gay acts seven to nine year old boys commit per square minute. for whatever reason, most boys have a gene in them that turns them into nathan lane for two years right before they hit puberty.
58.2%
shopping at american apparel, which amazingly holds the distinction of being the gayest retail chain in america for both genders
50%
any and all lip-syncing, regardless of genre and or circumstance, unless it directly leads to a threesome with the two youngest sisters in a set of quadruplets.
44%
referring to another man as “the champ”, despite the fact that you’ve never actually met him
31%
the chest bump, an act which has officially replaced the “soft ass smack” and the use of a giant bong as the most widely accepted blatantly homoerotic phenomenon in male culture.
26%
sports fandom
***even the most die-hard sports fan has to admit that spending over 30 hours a week watching, discussing, reading, and writing about the trails and tribulations of ultra-athletic, scantily clad giant men in their mid to late twenties possesses the exact amount of slight gayness that tyler perry is trying to convince us that he has. ***
17%
eating pancakes, eggs, grits, and link sausage.
while nothing says “straight” (and belligerent stools) like a hearty lumberjack’s breakfast, the fact that you’ve chosen link sausage instead of a manlier canadian bacon or lamb brisket adds a sprinkle of gayness to your feast. to combat this gayness, instead of drinking juice from a glass, just crush an orange in your hands over your open mouth
13.4%
mixed martial arts
***would actually be much, much higher on the list if i wasn’t deathly afraid of rampage jackson and rampage jacksons interminable rows of metal teeth***
6%
getting married
while marriage itself is undoubtedly gay, partaking in the process leading up to the marriage (dealing with insane family demands, potentially footing a ridiculously ridiculous bill, and having to stomp out bridezilla’s fires every fifteen minutes) is straighter than jules winnifield.
1.1%
taking care of your kids
although nothing is straighter than being a great father, you still have to exhibit a smidgen of gayness to properly babytalk and willingly relinquish the boobage to someone who’s 1/100th of your size.
still, be comforted by the fact that you’ve been strong-armed and extorted by the only presumably straight thing on the planet without a modicum of gayness….a baby.
people of vsb.com. i know i’m missing a few acts. what else would you put on the list, and where would you place it?
¹crazy ass muthaf*ckin ron artest
—the champ
i’ve been in a funky mood all day and i have an extremely miserable case of restlessness. yet this post made me chuckle and lifted my spirits a bit. thanks!! the sheer topic alone is humorous.
how did you come up with this, champikins?? is that name too “nttawwt” for you?? where would that and “peej” land on your list??
@Gem of the Ocean,
4 real whas really on ya mind dogg this is kinda suspect im rollin a dutchie like wtf u clownin/suspectin/putin people on blastin i dunno ima read in comment viewer disgression
@BLUNTBLAZER,
lol you are clearly high cuz i’m having an even harder time deciphering your cryptic comments. so what the heck is you talm bout?? JBABBTFTA….
i wasn’t calling anybody out (but if so it’s all nttawwt up in here)–just the nicknames.
@Gem of the Ocean,
nicknames that EYE gave them no less…
@Gem of the Ocean,
my bad i was talkin bout champs post its all gravity
@Gem of the Ocean, JBABBTFTA=Jesus Be A Blunt Blazer Translation For That A**. For my prize, I’d like an e-twin gift basket with the Where The Sidewalk Ends Collectors Edition and the Harry Potter series, and pancakes (clearly I need breakfast:)…its not real, so hush.
I don’t have a list of suspect behaviors I check for, its more on a case by case basis. However, if you are part of a male rap group called “Dy*kmatized”…you might be gay, NTTAWWT. I just know that most heterosexual males I know…would not be active in the group.
I’m sure someone has said it, but men who only have female friends and can understand all too well when you go off about something, all the “giiiiiiiiiiiiiirl” and teeth sucking? Yeah, if your gayness were a baby, it would be Ademilton dos Santos.
Dudes who gossip, tell you what Brenda said and how it didn’t match up with what Tina said, but why would Brenda say that about Tina, when Tina has been nothing but good to her? SirMa’am, have a seat.
I know this might sound RUDE, and its ok, I have a cousin like this, I can say it. Dudes who have female mannerisms. My dear cousin just moves more gracefully than I, it is not fair. And one time, I swore I saw him tuck a curl behind his ear. He always wants to kick it with me and my girl cousins at family functions (“basketball gets you all gross”)..yall get the picture.
Finally, if he doesn’t hate on you, or even roll an eye when you go on and on about Idris Elba, he might feel some kinda way about the man lol. Conversely though, and this might be the most telltale of all, if homeboy flips table at the mere mention of gay people, peligro!
also-is it me, or is ending a statement with NTTAWTT rude?
it’s like when people say “no offense”, umm, offended!
Also, do we do that for all groups/communities? I think most folks think twice and will add a NTTAWTT if they make a statement about Jewish people or gay people, but not say, Eskimos.
I don’t know what I’m getting at, I’m going to make tea.
@overitinNYC,
depending on who you ask, the term Eskimo is considered RUDE.
@overitinNYC,
“If you are part of a male rap group called “Dy*kmatized”…you might be gay”
Male crews should not be named anything unless it is something like the boys or brothers. I have always thought gang members were closeted gays. What self-respecting men name their crew, and wear matching outfits?
@Gem of the Ocean,
lol you are clearly high cuz i’m having an even harder time deciphering your cryptic comments. so what the heck is you talm bout?? JBABBTFTA….
i actually understood it perfectly. i dont know if this is a good or a bad thing
@Gem of the Ocean,
how did you come up with this, champikins?? is that name too “nttawwt” for you?? where would that and “peej” land on your list??
i thought of this topic after reading that ron artest quote in a bill simmons espn article.
btw, both handles are 32.8 percent gay
@The Champ, nicknames being referred to as handles are at least 76.4 percent gay
there’s a whole lot of gayness involved here.
@Panama Jackson,
“there’s a whole lot of gayness involved here.”
this was actually the original title for the UFC until dana white’s aunt convinced him to go in a different direction
what else would you put on the list, and where would you place it?
Writing a post about gayness= 99.8% gay
just kidding.
Men who kiss and tell to the nth degree. I had a male neighbor once who not only shared every explicit detail of his most recent s3xual exploits but in addition held private screenings of his s3x tapes with his boys. Now I ask you my fellow brethren, what man wants to see their boy bonin’ his jumpoff, girlfriend, etc. Something just ain’t right about that. I think this ranks in the 95 percentile of gayness.
@Miss Patterson,
that was my first thought
99.9 % suspectness/cards under tha table ash ninja lol im jus sayin…………..
@Miss Patterson, Yeah showing the vids to his boys is highly suspect…when I saw the part of Paid In Full where Cameron’s character is showing the video in the bar and re-enacting it for his boys I HAD to give it the side-eye
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
cams pink is suspect off top i own no pink shiii or salmon shii salmon is pink 2 ninjas if you buy a pink shirt u suspect
@BLUNTBLAZER, BWAHAHAHA…I remember that pink business…talking about it’s the color of P****
Can you say trying to hard?
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom, I agree.. that’s very strange’.
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
Especially that “Real Men Wear Pink” ish. Um, WHO you tryin’ to convince there, us or YOU?
Overcompensating is ghey.
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
Thank you…it’s like old dudes with systems (when they aren’t audiophiles) or super fly cars…overcompensating.
That pink stuff was SO suspect on Cam…but they were already wearing stuff like that and madras shorts in the South…and we have a significant D-LO problem in South Carolina…I’m just saying
@Miss Patterson, yeah I feel you, this is just unacceptable. Is it any different for women though? Like, could a group of women do that? I know I could not.
@Miss Patterson,
Something just ain’t right about that. I think this ranks in the 95 percentile of gayness.
it does. in fact, i’d even place it in the 97 percentile. of all the things you can possibly do on the planet earth, only three percent of them are gayer than that
I havent seen a man eat sausage links…..ever I believe. Never thought about it with this train of thought. Makes all the sense
@The Dutchess, never been to a barbecue or lived in the midwest?
And what about hot dogs?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
barbecue foods don’t count. the only reason why breakfast sausage links are in there is because breakfast is the most intimate meal, and its a bit odd eating a link of meat while you’re sitting in your drawers
@The Champ, I’m a turkey sausage patty guy myself…because they fry better and there’s no casing.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I’m a turkey sausage patty guy myself…because they fry better and there’s no casing.
this sentence was 43 percent gay
@The Champ,
Terrible…just terrible….smh.
@The Champ, breakfast is the most intimate meal? please do explain this.
i thought eating p*ssy was way more intimate than that.
go hard or go home.
^^that sentence is probably at least 12 percent gay.
@Panama Jackson,
well if you can’t go hard then you NEED to go home. there’s no other way, is there??
@Panama Jackson,
Actually if you can’t go HARD stay home!
@Panama Jackson,
breakfast is the most intimate meal? please do explain this.
its the only meal that you always eat with people close to you and sh*t. plus, there’s nothing more sensual than a pancake
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Breakfast links, sir
Yo can we talk about EARNEST male hip hop fans? I am gettin kinda turned off when I go to a hip hop show and i see mad dudes STANNING the hell out of whatever hip hop act on stage. I mean yeah, I know Black Thought is cool and stuff but some of these dudes have a glimmer in they eye I don’t quite trust. Similarly dudes who jock the new Jay or whatever…there’s a fine line. I’ll just say that. You can’t look like you are gonna be creaming your pants and stuff over ‘Ye’s latest hot verse.
Stop it.
@Liz,
neva been to a concert my whole life. …….well actually i was servin beer at oz fest one time but when i got off work oh boy that was wild
@Liz, I admit I’m going to the Lil Wayne, Jeezy, Drake, Soulja Boy, and Jeremih concert in Philly on Friday and I can’t wait to start clowning the dudes out there…Hot 97 Summer Jam was a HOT MESS
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom, YES!!! I hate when I go to ANY of these concerts where it’s standing room only and you got these tall big ninjas elbowing you and standing directly in front of you cuz THEY need a better view of Yeezy. Really? You runnin chicks over so you can get closer to Kanye? Hmm. I’ll say.
@Liz, I was front row at Summer Jam a couple of years ago…and EVERYONE was standing on their chairs. The dudes next to me were hilarious.
Yeah, all these dude are SERIOUS about that American’s Most Wanted Tour…I’m about to scalp these tickets for real.
Actually the dudes next to me yelling down the chicks standing up (the only ones, no concert etiquette) a few rows in front of us at the Maxwell concert last Wednesday may count more.
I’m attending a Lang Lang/Herbie Hancock performance on Thursday…I would knock someone out for standing in there…though I’m front room (A) center orchestra.
@Liz,
Man, this gets a massive co-sign.
Andre 3K is my favorite rapper, but I know I would not be rushing the stage to get a closer look at him in his latest nut hugger ensemble. I’m cool nodding my head in the back.
@Big Man, LOL! Yes! Finally a man after my own heart!
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom, LMAO ok guy going to see Jeremih=100% GAY!
@Anonymiss,
So dudes who went to the Maxwell concert by themselves…
Though I paid $200 for my seat and the two dudes next to me claimed they got theirs for free…but I know they were yelling…and I think one screamed too LOL
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
LMAO!!!
@Liz,
“Yo can we talk about EARNEST male hip hop fans?”
*sniggling*
@Liz,
I know Black Thought is cool and stuff but some of these dudes have a glimmer in they eye I don’t quite trust.
lol, i guess this is what they were referring to when they titled their album “rising down”
@Liz, I went to John Legend concert this past weekend, and I was lookin around at the guys like, “I dare one of y’all to go in at John Legend’s singing…and his extremely skinny jeans!! I dare you!!”
Next point, skinny jeans on guys….105% gay.
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh, LOLOL
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh, doesn’t a male being at a john legend concert make him gay by default?
the only way its not is he’s opening up for M.O.P. and Freddie Foxxx or if his girl dragged him, but he had to put up at fight.
@Panama Jackson,
but if he put up a fight and his girl won, wouldn’t he still be a ghey by default??
@Gem of the Ocean,
touche and sh*t
@Liz, “but some of these dudes have a glimmer in they eye I don’t quite trust”
LMBO. STOPPIT!!!!
@Nicki Sunshine, Liz only wants to date techno guys now.
@Panama Jackson, Those are ghey too, aren’t they???? All those blinking lights and shimmering clothes?
@Liz,
I can’t believe nobody mentioned this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV2U3yLSDvQ
@Deviant, LOL! love the boondocks!!
I see you with the Bill Simmons ESPN source for the first quote. I had the same thought when I read it but it Ron Artest so just kept it moving.
@aceklub,
honestly, if i had to choose anyone in pop culture to watch a reality show about, it would be camfra without question.
he’d be first, starbury would be second, and eric snow would be 334th.
@aceklub, right, ron artest does ron artest things.
@aceklub,
“I read it but it Ron Artest so just kept it moving.”
That is JUST what Bill was talking about. lol!
The funniest part of the Bill Simmons blog was that Ron walks around in his underwear. He ran for a bus in his underwear. LOL! That has to rank in the 100th percentile.
Exfoliate. Ha, just kidding.
@Beez,
exfoliate deez
@The Champ,
maybe next time…. i don’t deez on tuesdays
I’ve always attested to the notion that running a train on a chick had a significant gayness level in it. Being in such close proximity to a dude who’s doing the same thing is inherently a bi-sexual act if you ask me. NTTAWWT, but it is what it is.
I’d add a line from the great Willie D of Geto Boys fame – “Wrastling (wrestling) ain’t masculine”. As Coral from the “Real World – Hawaii” so eloquently put it, “I don’t wrestle, I knock bytchez the f*ck out!” It’s just nothing masculine about men fighting by putting each other in “holds” and using an array of “manuevers”. Laying on top of a dude to “pin” him is prolly about 93.7% gay.
Excessive hair care or facial products for men is about 70.7% gay too.
A pack of females older than 25 who constantly get dressed in front of each other when they’re about to go out is about 68.8% gay as well, maybe more. After college, that behavior should come to a halt. Also females kissing on the lips is 100% gay. IRregardless (I love sayin’ that) of how much you may believe it turns men on (if they’re white), it’s still gay…NTTAWWT.
Cut the crap, Monk, ALL straight men like seeing “hot chicks” kiss…cats are imagining that their duck is strategically placed in between.
Straight men usually reserve their homophobia for males…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
naw if im wit tha homies and some breeezaleezys its ima take tha garage u take tha livin room or whateva divide n conquer run isolation play yadadimean
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Your diction is incomparable! lol
@K to the…,
thanks i try
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
A dude watching chicks kiss isn’t gay, but I was referring to chicks who kiss each other in the mouth and dismiss it as anything less than gay just because they’re females…or they’re drunk…or whatever other excuse they may offer.
But Monk (and BLUNTBLAZER), my thing is this. If you’re the single guy, the homies ain’t there and two hot freaks kiss right in front of you, the correct response for a very smart brotha was not coached by Oral Roberts, but by Slum Village:
“Sup with a three screw?”
Then you find a side room or back seat of the Jeep for them FAST.
Now is the time to crack off something worthy of excellent stories, not to chop it on moral dilemmas…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
mayne 2girls at the same time is always a good thang
@Monk,
A pack of females older than 25 who constantly get dressed in front of each other when they’re about to go out is about 68.8% gay as well, maybe more. After college, that behavior should come to a halt. Also females kissing on the lips is 100% gay. IRregardless (I love sayin’ that) of how much you may believe it turns men on (if they’re white), it’s still gay…NTTAWWT.
———————————————————————
see, i’m conflicted about this. while i think it is unnecessary–though not gay–for women to be all up on each other after a certain age, i feel, in my spirit, that it’s more suspect when women go all out the way, changing in tiny bathroom stalls and ish if we all HAPPEN to be together changing. i mean, we all got the same stuff…ain’t nobody trying to look at nobody like that…unless somebody is attracted to somebody up in this piece. NTTAWWT!! but then, i come from the theatre so i’ve been bored by nudity for so long that maybe i’m way off.
@charli skipper,
mayne chicks period atleast 70% suspect they done licked or hada cat licked
@BLUNTBLAZER,
*clutches pearls* No!!!
@charli skipper,
i went to hampton univers.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
‘i went to hampton univers’
Me too!! and I must concur…my freshman year..I understood why they called my dorm Vagina Cleveland…scary stuff, lol
@charli skipper,
Swiftly changing costumes for a performance is something totally different from hanging with your girls on a Friday night and all five of y’all are in the same room changing into you ‘freak um’ dresses in front of each other, complimenting each other’s outfits/shoes, and “helping” each other get dressed. Could be perfectly innocent, gay, nevertheless it is.
@Monk, LMAO!! There iz NOTHING gay about this! sometimes it’s easier cuz u know how us girls like to arrive someplace in packs. so u gotta get ready at the same residence. plus u know, u wanna se how everyone else is dressed sou dont wear the same stuff or one overdresses over the other. it’s plenty nongay practical reasons why chicks do this. mostly cuz it makes sense, logistically speaking. ya’ll have no business doing such things because ya’ll never make sense.
@Liz,
it’s plenty nongay practical reasons why chicks do this. mostly cuz it makes sense, logistically speaking.
right! i can’t be showing up in a freakum dress while the rest of you wanches got on a turtle neck and slacks…we all changing right here!
@Liz,
Point taken…y’all do tend to be in competition with each other when going out so I guess it’s part of the “pre-game”. Tooting each other’s ego with compliments and “no girl, that doesn’t make you look big” rhetoric is all part of the game. It’s sizing up the prospective competition and when guys fo it, there’s a level of gayness there as it is with women. Everyone doesn’t have to get dressed in such close proximity if you’re not in a dorm room type situation. Inexcusably gay…NTTAWWT.
@Liz,
plus u know, u wanna se how everyone else is dressed sou dont wear the same stuff or one overdresses over the other
lol, why can’t this be discussed over the phone?
seriously this, along with the dancing with each other in the club thing strengthens my suspicion that women enjoy seeing and touching boobage just as much as we do.
@The Champ, we DO talk about this over the phone too. t’s not all the time. But yeah say we wanna show up tot he club together….it’s better to just go to somebody’s house first to get ready (some might come ready) to ensure you all arrive at the same time. Sometomes you got that friend who takes forever to get dressed or who has to change outfits a few times before she gets it right (usually meet at HER house so she can switch around).
See, lots of plenty logical reasons.
@Monk, yep.
that sh!t is gay. at least 66.3%.
unless we are life long friends or som’n u shouldn’t be getting dressed in front of me all willy nilly and im not comfortable enough to be gettin fully dressed in front of other bishes. blame it on playin basketball for years and my family for bein way too touchy feely.
i can understand changing, perhaps. but waitin in yo towel when i get there u should not be.
@Chasdizz,
IDK—I’m thinking you should be dressed when you get to my house as should I.
Then we’re out…eff all that changing 5011 times before we head to the club.
@miss t-lee,
yeah i dont think its that difficult. have on clothes.
the end.
@Chasdizz,
LOL! Yep. Exactly.
@Monk,
Sorry bro, but you absolutely and utterly have no clue about the woman psyche…
That, or 95% of normal women are ghey…. because this scenario has nothing ghey about it at all.
But I can understand why it’s difficult to fathom as a man…. I guess…
@Sula,
“That, or 95% of normal women are ghey”
well…
@Monk, I don’t care what anyone says…trains are suspect from the get go…bisexuality abounds…
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
I’m in total agreeance.
@Monk,
In my high school we had two different train groups…I saw one of the videos…HIGHLY suspect
Plus they were composed of members of the basketball, football, and baseball teams…along with random dudes from their crews…hmm…athletes are starting to sound very suspect
@Monk, nah, I can’t agree. The close friends of mine I’m comfy with I change in front of. I mean, I won’t change completely, undergarments are key, but the act of changing is not gay.
What irks me is the gym locker room ESP the steam room. All kinds of occular assault in every degree. I have NEVER been able to just prance around a gym locker room like I’m in my own crib, why do people do this?? I probably look like an abused child talking to the naked candidate for breast reduction surgery (boobs not the problem, all up in my face ones-yes) in front of me, but its just so awkward.
@overitinNYC,
right. if im at my crib with my girls, why shouldn’t i feel comfortable doing my thing? it’s too much energy to try and hide something as simple as changing my clothes. so what if i flash a nip or my bikini line? now if i started asking a friend to measure my areola size or give me an informal pelvic exam then that would be nttawwt-side-eye worthy.
@Gem of the Ocean,
***inserting “male” words for comedic effect***
“right. if im at my crib with my boys, why shouldn’t i feel comfortable doing my thing? it’s too much energy to try and hide something as simple as changing my clothes. so what if i flash a testicle or a bit of asscrack hair? now if i started asking a friend to measure my wang size or give me an informal proctology exam then that would be nttawwt-side-eye worthy.”
@The Champ, for comedic effect, hmm?
@Monk,
“I’d add a line from the great Willie D of Geto Boys fame – “Wrastling (wrestling) ain’t masculine”. ”
LOL!!! Where were you last week when I was quoting Willie D’s “You Still a N***a”?
@Monk,
I’ve always attested to the notion that running a train on a chick had a significant gayness level in it.
I’m confused… I thought it was one guy at a time. It was just considered a train because it was one after the other.
Greg goes in, leaves and then Jack goes in and so on.
@Ivy St.,
I’m confused… I thought it was one guy at a time. It was just considered a train because it was one after the other.
Greg goes in, leaves and then Jack goes in and so on.
this can be true, and it still holds the scent of gayness
That straight man’s gayness thing is real. This same topic has occurred to me before. A lot of stuff straight men do or say that’s suspect but you couldn’t even see gay men partaking in.
-Insulting another straight man by telling him he can duck your sick
-Being fascinated with and insecure about whether or not a dude is gay
-Misogyny
-Feeling threatened by femininity
-Sizing someone up
-Gangster dudes that plat their hair
-Pimps that press or perm their hair
-Certain hazing antics by sports teams
-Giving someone a wedgie/murphy
-Grabbing your junk in front of nothing but dudes (think 80s rap videos)
-Dudes watching porno together with no women around
-Bragging about your duck to other dudes
…and co-sign on those butt smacks in sports and pausing/no homoing the darndest terms (extremely insecure)
Whole bunch of better examples, but they’re not coming to mind right now. To be continued….
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
this is a pretty good list. all encompassing and sh*t.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
-Insulting another straight man by telling him he can duck your sick
CO-SIGN!!!
All memebers of NWA I believe are extreme offenders of these kind of faux pas….I no like….makes me go Hmmmmm
@TLC,
I never understood why men would tell other men this. No matter how disrespectful it may sound, it’s equally just as gay on their part.
However, in defense of the World’s Most Dangerous Group, NWA, I don’t think it’s necessarily gay for a dude to tell a mark ass busta to “eat a d*ck”. They’re not referring to theirs so there’s no gay act on their part.
@Monk,
Maybe they never said those exact words but there were was way too much innuendo flying around all willy nilly during the Cube/N.W.A. beef….makes me uncomfortable….also while on the subject it doesn’t make one look hetero to accuse former close friends of being gay….soooooo what did you two used to do together…..hmmmmmm
@Monk,
so, as long as you’re not specific, random ducks are cool?
@Monk, N.W.A. is my favorite rap group of all time. with that said, especially on EFIL4ZAGGIN, they were pretty gay about 90 percent of the time.
DJ Quik too…especially on his dis to MC Eiht, the most underrated dis track of all time “Dollaz + Sense”…to wit:
“…now i never had my sick ducked by a man before, but you gon’ be the first you little trick a** ho/so you can tell me just how it taste, right before i nut i shoot some piss in your face…”
um. 100 percent gay.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, That is a really good list…seriously.
Whenever dudes start talking about gay guys I ask them one question: “Do you think every girl in the world wants you?”
They, if honest, respond no…and so I continue, “So why do you think every Gay guy does?”
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
Whenever dudes start talking about gay guys I ask them one question: “Do you think every girl in the world wants you?”
They, if honest, respond no…and so I continue, “So why do you think every Gay guy does?”
good use of logic and sh*t
@The Champ,
Thank you…however the response is typically disappointing.
They pause…think about it…and continue on with the gay bashing.
I try to alternate…well, be flattered that EVERYBODY, men and women, want you. It’s a compliment…and that just does not work.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
lmao@watchin porn wit tha ninjas i knew one ninja that recorded himself n wantedto show ninjas but that was cause we thought he was suspect lol. u suspect if u make ya own porn n try ta show ninjas lol
@BLUNTBLAZER, I got a worse one for you. One of the homies IMed me one day and I asked why he hadn’t been around the crew. Young said no one would probably wanna fluck with him anymore since he does pron now. I told him that shouldn’t matter…but why does duke immediately follow that with linking me to his WEBSITE?!?
I don’t wanna know what my boys’ junks look like. I’m secure, but I’m not that secure!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
-Gangster dudes that plat their hair
-Pimps that press or perm their hair
does this only apply to gangstas and pimps?? aren’t there just “regular” dudes who plait or perm/press their hair?? cuz that to me would be even MORE “how you doin” behavior
@Gem of the Ocean, what if its a perm AND a plait at the same time?
a plerm, if you will.
do two negatives make a positive?
@Panama Jackson,
a plerm? *blinks*
*giggles*
this slayed me.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, LMAO I love your list especially “insulting another man by saying he can suck your dick” <–GAY!
Real talk though, for that to even be in your repertoire of insults is suspect. It’s like implying you don’t like getting head from a woman because you reserve your junk for popping in men’s mouths as an offensive attack.
Also suspect is the classic Hip-Hop slang about being “on one’s duck”….how is that props?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Also suspect is the classic Hip-Hop slang about being “on one’s duck”….how is that props?
its not, really. that term is more of a derisive insult towards a fan than it is a compliment to the respective artist and sh*t.
i put its gayness at 43.7%
I believe this video contains at least 90 % acts of gayness. From sitting in front of a web cam with no shirt on crying while another man console you to playing R. Kelly in the background right after Kirk Franklin.
Exhibit A Stephon Marbury
http://tinyurl.com/nwgmqe
@JamaicanGirl, LOL. im sorry i wanna feel for him but i kinda like men who don’t cry except on rare occasions. not sure why he busted out crying tot his song but lets hope he doesnt do this often.
@Liz,
lolol “hope he doesnt do this often” lololol def not a good look lololol
@Liz,
I think the thoughts of having that Starbury sign tatted on his dodgamn head may have contributed to some of the tears, amongst other things…
@K to the…, LOL. i really wanted to knwo what he was crying about. there’s got to be a statement somewhere by his publicist or sumthin.
@JamaicanGirl,
i think men and webcams are suspect in general. when i was college, this guy i was “dating” wanted to webchat–well, halfway webchat because he was the only one with a webcam. He whipped his member out and just held in front of the camera…..”how wack,” i remember thinking.
i can definitely see if you’re chatting with a woman who is also using a camera, and if you’re 12 or married or talking to yo momma or you’re b. scott or something, but other than that, the fact that you think i just want to gaze upon your a*s is ghey.
@JamaicanGirl,
*side eye*
i have a series of questions for SM about this vid….
(1) what was your motivation for being on web cam in the 1st place?
(2) why is your whole look “nttawwt”?
(3) why does your facial expression and tears scream “sodomy”?
(4) did that off-cam negro just put his arm around your bare shoulder??
(4.2) did that negro start serenading you… off key?
(5) did you review this vid and post it with VSB in mind?
(**bonus**) have you ever considered a bscott vid make-over full with runway intro, lipgloss, baaaangles, mixers, a killer squirrel, and shower scene?
if the shoe fits, get the back of the foot in.
@Gem of the Ocean,
ok. you know what? i was avoiding watching this video but your dam* summary has changed my mind. i must get into this….oh, wait. that’s what he said!
@charli skipper,
lmao! that gives whole new meaning to b.scott’s phrase “love muffins get into this”
@charli skipper,
aw….i saw it. now i just wanna hug him….he goin through thangs, yall!
@Gem of the Ocean, if the shoe fits, get the back of the foot in.
*black squirrels like nuts too, LOL.
*a loevly combination of a resident mythical creature, and bscott.
@Gem of the Ocean, *DEAD*
@Gem of the Ocean,
(5) did you review this vid and post it with VSB in mind?
i honestly think steph does sh*t like this specifically with me and my comedic health in mind
@JamaicanGirl,
f*ck the solstice, i know its officially summer when theres a vid floating around on the internet of starbury doing inexplicable sh*t
@The Champ,
I believe he did an entire day of webcasting on something called ustream, where he talked about a variety of topics including his father’s death. I think.
@Big Man,
he did. it was a 24 hour marathon.
@JamaicanGirl,
Is you SERIOUS? Why is there a dude comforting his shirtless a**??
This is gay because dude is shirtless in a dark a** room with another dude.
Men crying is not gay but this sh*t is like 300% non-hetero.
-Partaking in arguments with women–over anything–and going at it word for word and dead serious is gaaaaaaay. yes, there are some things that should get a man up in arms. but when i’m pms’in and snap at you for leaving the milk on the counter and you choose to suit up like evander holyfield and try to go all in on me with lips poppin and wrists broken, you’re gay. a real man would be like, “you trippin. shutup,” and calls it a day.
-i might get some flak for this one, but grown a*s men riding in cliques like the cheetah girls is gay. these guys i went to grad school with would ride to school and lunch together and boo up at a tables in the commons area, acting all secretive, like 10th grade had made a comeback. yeah….that’s hot.
@charli skipper, LMAOOOOOOOOOOO @ your second point. Iono Panama and the champ might be guilty of this LOLOLLLL
@Liz,
but i luv them, so i’ll take it back. lol. but seriously, male friendships i get. but when they get all exclusive with it, like, “i really need to be with my boys right now,” type of thing….i.just.can’t.
an ex actually asked me to leave the premises–a hotel room-so he could hang out with his friend. and i had to sit him down and be like, “boo….do you know you’s ghey? NTTAWWT!…”
@charli skipper, yeah i mean sometimes i do and can appreciate a man who enjoys hanging with his boys. as long as it’s not ecessive. it def beats out a dude who loves to hang with his crew of female friends!
@Liz,
@charli skipper, LMAOOOOOOOOOOO @ your second point. Iono Panama and the champ might be guilty of this LOLOLLLL
guilty deez
@The Champ, LOL!!! u know its true!
@Liz, quit hatin ninja. plus you love hanging with my crew.
we some damn Gz. plus we keep you liquored up and happy.
@Panama Jackson, LOL! yeah u guys do keep me liquored up
@charli skipper,
im not a good arguer i dont even like milk shiiii lol
@charli skipper,
“Partaking in arguments with women–over anything–and going at it word”
Depends on the subject matter. I got into a heated debate about the artistic value of Felix’s routine in the 2009 Miss Pole Dance World Competition. My opinion was that because one cheek was not moved at a time, that the routine fell flat. Pole dancing even when it is supposed to be arty, has to have an undercurrent of sleaze.
How is everything above prision sex gayer than prison sex?….I confused.
@TLC,
i love how there are so many things gayer than prison chex. that’s when you know you need to check yourself.
@charli skipper,
i dunno why i laughed like a 60 yr old man at this lol
@TLC,
Yeah, straight up raw d*ck to the booty sex is pretty much the epitome of gay. I guess it comes into question if the dude was raped or somethin’…which brings up another question: Can one be forced into gaydom? Inquiring minds and shyt…
@Monk,
Gaydom means you like it…rape means no likey…if you like it you just need to relinquish your hetero card and collect your boa and rainbow bumper sticker next time you pass go
@TLC,
For the record, rape means you said no… it doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t like it.
@Happy Meal,
Lmbao @ the technicalities being called out left and right. Lol!
@Monk,
yea wuz up wit an*l do ninja really bang chicks in tha culo?
I can’t clap to that one. If a man is aroused to give his business to a woman, it’s not gay…for it to even be considered suspect is insecure to me. Secure dudes ain’t taking on a freak behind closed doors thinking about what certain acts would be great for him to use on another dude. If that same man can get it up for another dude, then all bets are off.
And the kicker for me is hearing all this questioning of man-on-woman butt chex from the same guys who are strict *ss men.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Sorry I’m not clear on this. Are you For or Against a man sodomizing a woman? As a part of consensual chex (hehehe..that makes me giggle) of course.
I don’t consider it sodomy, Ms. Hall. I don’t invite religion into the bedroom.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Merriam-Webster says that sodomy is : anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite sex ; also : copulation with an animal.
No mention of religion. But…man, woman or beast butt chex is sodomy.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I don’t invite religion into the bedroom.
i did a couple times in college, but that was the last time i messed with a stripper with an odd stage name. from that point on its been all diamonds and angels.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I don’t invite religion into the bedroom.
This could definitely be a t-shirt.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Agreed!!!!
I don’t know where it specifically belongs, but the “Man Crush” belongs somewhere on this list about 50 percent.
@thismayconcernyou,
Let’s not forget “bromance”.
I can’t stand that ish.
@thismayconcernyou,
eh. i’d say its creeping in the 58-62 range
Yo, I do MMA…and it is MORE gay than you think. I can’t tell you the number of times where I’m watching a sparring match that is brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ) focused and I just start cracking up and have to leave the room.
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
“i do mma…”
please expound and sh*t
@The Champ,
probably means mixed martial arts.
@Gem of the Ocean,
lol, i realized that. i just wanna know how she got involved in it.
thanks though.
@The Champ,
Oh, and the new Marine system is bad@$$. A Marine who is an instructor for it came in right before I left to go back to the States and I was so upset I was missing out. I’m trying to get into a certification class for that with the Marines.
@The Champ,
To explain…
Hand to hand combat training is taught in the military at certain units and in certain career fields. The AF used to use the Marines LINE program but we’ve switched to the Army’s Combatives program in the last year.
The new hand to hand combat training the Army started (and everyone but the Marines are taking) is called Combatives. It was developed by combining brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ), muay thai, and kali. The new Marine system is straight muay thai and brazilian jiu jitsu.
I got qualified on Combatives Level 1, with the Army, last year before I did a year deployment with the Army in Afghanistan. While we were out there we started a MMA club. Other fighters came out from around Kabul and the primary instructors were dudes that worked for Dynacorp or Blackwater (Xu) and they were a purple in BJJ, a black in Hapkido, and a black in Judo. Everyone else had familiarity with other systems like muay thai, kali, boxing, and so on.
There were only two females (Amanda and I), but often just me so I always rolled with the guys…but at the end of the night when it was time to spar…I couldn’t help but make jokes and die laughing so many times.
When I came back I made arrangements to attend the Ricardo Almeida (Fighting in UFC 101 in Philly) school a bit from my house because they have a korean woman who is a black belt in BJJ. It’s great to learn from someone my size.
I’m not going to fight, because I like my face, but it’s a good workout and training.
HAHAHAHAHA
Its 10-15 westcoast time tha kid to bed blunt rolled lets go
suspect ninjas
-prettyboys- sorry if u try to be prettier than a chick u got issues ninjas supposed to be uglier than they chicks step ya game up
-neyo- sumthin bout dude aint right he more emotional than carl thomas actually fuq it extra emotional ash ninjas is suspect only time i shed tears is at funerals or when my baby mama holdin my kid hostage also see: boy bands yeah they allllllll suspect
-grey ash cars(yea grey thas wha i callum aka suspect)- if you a NINJA BE A NINJA fuq a prius guzzle gass n burn rubber hit donuts n figure 8′s yadaimean i mean get a v8 also see: ninjas that drive like mountain lions if u gone drive drive shiii dont let the mofo ona bike beat u.
-ninjas that do female hair- if you you how to give higlights n whateva else females get u suspect let a chick let me braid her hair ill make a new knot tha boyscouts aint neva seen be 4
-grown ninjas that play wit kids that aint yours esp if u aint even bangin da kids moms- sorry this is some personal shit im pissed at the baby moms. her best female friend (of 2 years) that lives wit her has a 27 yrold boyfriend that likes to play wit my son on da weekends that he is supposed ta be seein his moms(i got m-f custody) n my lil ninja come up bruised ery otha sunday im like wtf. dont fuq wit tha prince got me makin a file on homeboy he jus dont kno yadaimean dont get involved cum is thicker than blood and when ya cum is ya blood n looks jus like u it gets way too deep.
oh yea my bad above im trigga happy lemm blaze my blunt POSTERBOY u real tho chestbumpis crzy u eva played football thas crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!aggggghhhhh RAIDERSSSSSSSSSSS when does football season start? 6berg i kno but tell ben to stay away from hotel chicks ask Kobe yadaimean
-
@BLUNTBLAZER, Ne-Yo is suspect as hell but he realized that and ditched the lipgloss and got a girl…LOL…still suspect
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom, lol yea you are wise lol that chick looked more og tha neyo would eva be lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
All I want is a guy who will take care of the yard, do my hair, and put it down. He doesn’t have to do anything else and can be a stay at home Dad. Finding one of the three is dang near impossible.
Can I admit that I told my hairdresser (who is a married male with kids and straight…his Mom started the franchise and he is continuing with there several salons to make that money) that he needed to go to the local tech school and go train me a guy.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
grown ninjas that play wit kids that aint yours esp if u aint even bangin da kids moms- sorry this is some personal shit im pissed at the baby moms
Tell em why you mad son!!! That’s not gay to me though….
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“-prettyboys- sorry if u try to be prettier than a chick u got issues ninjas supposed to be uglier than they chicks step ya game up”
Oh, most def. Baby hair is gheyness.
umm……can we talk about the TO show? first of all, i love it. second, can we talk about the fact that terrell owens doesn’t know that women wrap their hair at night? now, that’s gay….even though i like him…
@charli skipper,
talking about, “the women i have dated do not wear head scarves at night.” n&gga that’s gay and you know it.
@charli skipper, is it gay because it means hes never spent the night with a black woman before? if so, u might have a point there…
@Liz,
i just think everything about it’s gay. the fact that he is disapproving of the headwrap, the fact that he is ignorant of the headwrap, the fact that he clearly doesn’t date real haired black women, the fact that he’s all on tv with this trumpfoolery…i can’t get with TO on that one. lol
@charli skipper,
the fact that he clearly doesn’t date real haired black women
so all black women who don’t wrap their hair at night are fake?
@The Champ,
Seriously, why is it that nobody seems to be acknowledging that there are black women who don’t need to wrap their hair? This is especially true among light-skinned women. What? We aren’t considered black no more?
@The Champ,
i didn’t say fake. i said fake haired. why wrap fake fair?
and i’m unsure what skin color has to do with hair wrapping, but dah well. my point really wasn’t that deep.
@The Champ,
Good question. Because I don’t.
“my point really wasn’t that deep.”
i’m surprised noone has used this line against me yet. must be a slow day
@charli skipper, real haired black women
that created all sorts of mental images.
@charli skipper,
lmao @ the TO show. i prob hate TO more than i do Kobe (he’s a crybaby and exhibits B*A*N behavior at all times) but he has a KILLER smile. so perfect and gorgeous. so i was intrigued by the show. and i couldn’t believe his red pjs with the feet!! lmao and girlfriend said he looked like a big ol red tampon. rude. and gross. but funny as heck…
to your point about him not knowing black women wear scarves to bed, there could be plenty of reasons for this. most obvious being he does mess with sistas. or he’s never done more than “get it in” with a sista. i used to know plenty of chicks who refused to wrap their hair when they were with a dude– that was saved for serious BFs. giving him the benefit of the doubt. or he’s just a ghey (which i would have no problem believing).
@Gem of the Ocean,
oh, now, see, i cannot get into those girls that are too shy to wrap their hair. i could have the biggest crush on the most perfect guy. but if there is any extended couch sitting action, my scarf is coming out the purse and onto my head. i’d rather be cute tomorrow than tonight! plus, i have this obsessive compulsive disorder about split ends….it’s kind of outta control…but to recap:
step 1: i’m putting on this scarf and this lip gloss.
step 2: i’m stayin.
step 3: and you’re gonna love me.
step 4: g’nite.
@charli skipper,
right. both parties should abide by the “wrap it up” motto. unless of course the action starts before you can get to your scarf…
@charli skipper, don’t most headwraps cause split ends more than it helps? and not to get too off topic, but what kind do you use? lol
@overitinNYC,
i use a silk one, and yeesssssss, the ends stay split free. hair is healthy as a horse. looks like a horse’s hair. yessssss. i think cotton makes your ends split. oh, we should start a beauty forum.
@charli skipper, He doesn’t know because white women don’t wrap their hair.
@Brandon St. Randy,
i repeat: N8gga, that’s gay and you know it. lol
@charli skipper, i love the TO show too…he’s tailor made for reality TV.
and yeah…what Brandon St. Randy said.
@charli skipper,
I saw that yesterday…TO just strikes me as suspect all around
AND that implies, to me, that he’s a) never slept with A woman or b) a BLACK woman…not sure which…no matter what…those footie pjs were gay!
Don’t use the word “br0-mance,” either. 47.6%
@Beez, that’s that 2520 shet. I can’t see brothers saying “bromance” with a straight face.
That being said, there’s nothing gay about true brotherhood.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Yeah, for real. Bromance and brothahood are totally different. I can’t imagine ninjas using “bromance”.
OH WAIT!
Why we got to burn American Apparel. I used to get all my ballet gear from there and where that mess in public too LOL.
I was just on their site yesterday…they are a mess.
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
lol, there’s one a couple blocks away from my apartment, and i’ve actually brought sh*t from there before (a skinny tie and a dress for my girl). that still doesn’t discount the gayness.
@The Champ,
Come on!
Why?
The comments about women changing in front of each other and prancing around the locker room in whatever…dancers do that stuff constantly. We have to…just look at the stuff we wear. Ballet gear…it hids NOTHING…so American Apparel is reflecting their consumer base.
Now I admit…when I read comments/reviews about guys buying the thigh high socks I pause…
I’ve always found wrestling to be extremely gay….. but maybe that’s just me.
Oh and is two girls engaging in self pleasure together gay? LOL
@Anonymiss,
wait. now what now?
@charli skipper, LMAO. Well a friend of mine invited me to join her on webcam to do that ish and I was like hell no I’m not gay but she doesn’t seem to think that’s gay. && she does it with her other straight friend.
@Anonymiss,
oh, yeah…she’s gay, honey. monk would be all over this situation….but *in my Sinclair voice* woo woo woo, that’s okay. TAAWWT!
Drinking from a straw has to be at least 43% gay.
Ordering fruity drinks is like 87% gay too. “I’ll have a vodka and pineapple juice?”
Pineapple Juice?!
@los,
Manlaw clearly states no fruit and alcohol
@WuDaMan,
so goose n’ cranberry is out? hmmm?
@Smiley Face,
Goose and cranberry is cool. But all those fruity fruity drinks are out. A dude is allowed one chaser in his drink. If he is pouring it himself the drink cannot be more than 40% chaser.
@Humble_One, lol..good b/c y’all were about to have me side eye-ing uuurybo’y!
@los,
Drinking from a straw is like 85% gay in my opinion and I don’t know if it’s the Detroit in me or what but I’m side-eyeing just about any dude drinking any mixed drink….just put the Cognac in the d*mn glass and drink….lol!!!….okay maybe a pass for Vodka and Cranberry as long as it doesn’t match the color of a clown nose
@los,
welcome and sh*t.
and ordering the fruity drink is definitely in the 60th percentile of gayness, unless you’re at a wedding reception
The train equation is killing me as well as the acronym for Ron Artest.
But right now, I think the new NBA crazy might be Stephon Marbury. Did you see dude eating vaseline on his live feed yesterday?
@miss t-lee,
oh wow i totally missed the acronym when i first read the post! LOL. i actually like ron artest. him being a laker will make me slightly less of a laker hater. i cant hate on camfra!!
@Gem of the Ocean,
Any guy who tries to get a part-time job for a discount while making multi-millions is cool with me. LMAO
I can’t hate on crazy…it makes the game fun.
@Gem of the Ocean, wait a second. You’re a SoCal yet a Laker-hater? If you’re a Clipper fan, that’s OK…but if not, who’s your team?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
i know, it’s sad and weird. i’ve just never been a big bball fan and so i usually only liked the lakers by default. until my hate for kobe festered. and then i just couldn’t in good faith be bothered with the lake show.
but brace yourself… i’m a kg fan so i rep the celtics.
@Gem of the Ocean, so your thing is players more so than teams….OK. *closes door on the way out*
@miss t-lee,
see, i think they’re two different types of crazy. steph is hollywood crazy (prone to do extremely weird sh*t, but harmless) while artest is project hallway crazy (cool most days, until that unlucky time you happened to step on a syringe or a stray bullet)
@The Champ,
You might be right. There are varying degrees of crazy.
Thank you! I thought I was the only one that found giant bongs or bongs in general to be slightly gay. It’s like I know Dutch Masters arent good for me, but I cannot in good conscience put something that resembles a penis pump to my lips and inhale thru my mouth…ok, that sentence right there ranks at least 38% gay. List was hilarious…lol@ crushing an orange over your open mouth. LMAO
Shakashawshow
@Shakashawshow,
It’s like I know Dutch Masters arent good for me, but I cannot in good conscience put something that resembles a penis pump to my lips and inhale thru my mouth…ok, that sentence right there ranks at least 38% gay.
you’re right. that sentence was very gay. i suggest you install an air conditioner somewhere today to offset that gayness.
Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg – “F* Wit Dre Day” = 150% gay
Go listen again.
@RunGirl.,
I agree with this one.
@RunGirl.,
Hell yeah
Another one: why do so many hood dudes grow long nails? Right up there with plaits, perms, and sagging in the world of gayness practiced by these super hood alpha males.
Oh yeah, quick co-sign on those extremely homophobic Carribean cats. How they gone be all extra phobic with them suspect dances they bust out with? That whole culture must have had one collective bad experience prior to the rise of dancehall.
Although on the serious tip, between them and Latinos, I blame Catholic teachings. Catholics are just totally insecure about sexuality of any kind.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
woe really Catholocism is to blame for gay-dom. Please expound.
@WuDaMan, you know what, I’m being unfair to Catholics…because most sects of every religion hate sex and sexuality. So afraid of sex they separate men and women. How can that not foster gayness of some sort?
Hell, true story, there was even one religious group, I forget what they were called, that pretty much banned sex completely. They no longer exist because they died away without bearing children to carry on the tradition. Surely no one was converting to this group…which makes one wonder how they hell they rose to even being a big enough group in the first place.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I’d take it a step further, I would say religions founded when the echelon of education was equivilant or less than today’s high school or middle school education. Does this “hating” you speak of for cecks.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Hell, true story, there was even one religious group, I forget what they were called, that pretty much banned sex completely
i think the name of that sect was the overitians.
@The Champ,
Wow you emptied the clip there huh…no homo
@Dorian G.,
Man I need you to stop throwing these written daggers, strait killing me.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I think they were called the “Shakers”
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
The long nails=all kinds of drug involvement
@TLC,
The long nails makes splitting blunts and crumbling the herb easier.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Thank you! I hate long fingernails on guys! Its so gross and GAY!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Although on the serious tip, between them and Latinos, I blame Catholic teachings. Catholics are just totally insecure about sexuality of any kind.
This my friend is the truth!… (and I am a
somewhatpracticing Catholic)Being a Splackavelli. If you know you crossing swords, yo that’s gay. Like at lest 78.4% gay, easy.
@WuDaMan,
Or like they say in today’s music boyfriend # 2. smh
@WuDaMan, yep…crossing swords is definitely more gay than crossing a picket line.
Also, dudes trying to get their picture took in the club with a bunch of dudes. Chasing the photographer down and chit trying to get a group pose with you, shirtless Leon, Sweet Mike with the red wifebeater, LeMovado the metrosexual, and three other dudes in various degrees of arm around each other, inappropriate touching, and gang signs. First, only women really need attention like that, and second, you hugged up on some dude with no shirt and hazel contacts on EVIPlist makes you a gay celebrity. You need more people. Preferably women.
@Brandon St. Randy,
Not Sweet Mike. LMAO.
@Ms. Hall,
I know, that kilt me. Sweet Mike?
Like, he sound like some dude in the corner drinking sweet tea out of a champagne glass with his pinky finger (equipped with an elongated finger nail) sticking up.
@Brandon St. Randy,
Chasing the photographer down and chit trying to get a group pose with you, shirtless Leon, Sweet Mike with the red wifebeater, LeMovado the metrosexual, and three other dudes in various degrees of arm around each other, inappropriate touching, and gang signs.
LOL. wow. i’m literally in tears in sh*t
***btw, one grown man admitting that another grown man’s words induced tears is 57% gay***
@Brandon St. Randy, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet…by this logic…
DC was the gayest place in the nation thru the 80s.
you go into anybody’s house in DC and they’ll put out the pics from the cabarets with the faux backdrop (they STILL do this on Georgia Ave and Florida at the CVS every Saturday night) of some cadillac and a bunch of dudes trying to look a little bit too hard in overly colorful sateen clothing. i’m sure this just ain’t a DC thing…but it was overly prevalent in DC. in fact, go-go’s STILL do this…though back in the 90s you could at least get some naked women in the pic after they got off the stage. what’s great about the naked chicks is that they got on stage with clothes on and they’re not really strippers, they’re just chicks who stripped naked.
ew, they nasty.
@Panama Jackson,
Nah Philly got DC beat in this dept my dude. Cuz they do this in EVERY club in Philly still, not just the hood ones.
@Panama Jackson, I have taken many pictures in front of various airbrushed bottles of patron, and my personal favorite, the airbrushed burgundy Acura Legend with the gold grill and gold hammers. This is only 12% gay
@Panama Jackson,
*lowering my head in shame*
not only at the go-go..every caberet, every function at the Knights of Columbus…the club over there off of Temple Hills Rd..in that shopping mall…yup…always got the ‘picture man’ on duty. lol and don’t forget Byrne Manor (well it burned down last night)
@Brandon St. Randy,
Chasing the photographer down and chit trying to get a group pose with you, shirtless Leon, Sweet Mike with the red wifebeater, LeMovado the metrosexual, and three other dudes in various degrees of arm around each other, inappropriate touching, and gang signs.
Bwahaha!
1. What about the butt pat when men play sports?
2. Wrestling.
@Nicki Sunshine,
1. What about the butt pat when men play sports?
i referenced that. i once had a coach in summer league who’d do the extended non-moving hand ass touch while talking to you on the sideline during a timeout.
he also told us to call him “uncle frank”.
@The Champ, AW NAW… He should have caught a case. That’s so weird.
@Nicki Sunshine, 1. What about the butt pat when men play sports?
thats why co-ed sports are the bizness. though you have to be really careful who you’re buttpatting. some chicks take it so personal as opposed to a sign of encouragement.
as if!
^^saying “as if” is 87 percent gay.
@Panama Jackson, “^^saying “as if” is 87 percent gay.”
“Clueless” much? Additionally, if you have seen the referenced movie, you may be ghey.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Clueless is one of my all time faves just on quotes alone.
“I have a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you.”
@miss t-lee, LOL. I can still watch that movie over and over again…
@Panama Jackson,
“^^saying “as if” is 87 percent gay.”
That was way harsh, Ty.
I see bongs mentioned…I can see where you are coming from with that…BUT smoking out of a bowl is gheyer. And a little crackish.
@Mr. Mister,
BUT smoking out of a bowl is gheyer.
i dont think ive ever actually seen that done. lol, seriously, cats will always find new and exciting ways to get p*ssy, and get high
@The Champ, by bowl I mean…http://bit.ly/uV4ww Its really just a pipe.
I didn’t read any comments (sue me)
83.75% – 2 Men riding a motorcycle. This prcentage gets cut in half if your riding a bike like those 2 assassins in the movie New Jack City that shot all them Mafia members up.
@eff yo couch,
you’re right. the only way two guys on a bike isnt at least 80 percent gay is if there’s murder involved somehow
@The Champ, i was thinking the same thing. murder totally reduces gayness. unless you murder somebody and your nails are painted. in which case it just gets confusing.
@The Champ,
The other day I saw two middle-aged dudes on a cruiser… Like, really?
My sister was trying to find excuses… Still, it’s 84.3% ghey I say.
The BFF craze is a little suspect to me. Ever had someone call you their best friend when you only considered them A friend? Chicks that do this usually have gay tendencies.
Use of the term ‘best friend’ by a male, is a tad gay.
Women dating male stylist/hair dressers. We all know he’s gay, but she’s suspect too.
If you live in Atlanta…just kidding.
@Ms. Hall,
And I believe that sodomy is gay.
@Ms. Hall, “If you live in Atlanta…just kidding.”
LMBO!
@Ms. Hall,
What is the term a guy should use for his best friend?
@kamakula,
Good question.
@kamakula,
There aren’t many terms available. That’s why it’s not a lot gay, just a tad. I guess I’m thinking of thugs. I’ve never heard these guys say, “Rah Rah is my best friend.” Rah is ‘my boy’, ‘my dog’, ‘my ace.’
But you know on the block a little education sounds gay to some.
Can somebody please tell me what NTTAWWT means….
I’m is a lil slow…
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh,
Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That.
@miss t-lee,
AITY!!! <— And I Thank You!!!
)
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh,
No problem chick.
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh,
Thanks for asking….it was driving me crazy…but since I was all late reading the post I didn’t think there was much point in me asking
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh,
Thanks for asking….it was driving me crazy…but since I was all late reading the post I didn’t think there was much point in me asking
I have a few things I thought about just the other day, as I traversed the DC area… Here is what I saw and how it made me want to call Shenenigans on everyone for playing a cruel joke on me. It was like “A Day Without Mexicans” but the oppositely, really really REALLY gayly produced remake. I’m SURE it starred Brandon St. Randy (No Relation, I’m sure, BSR):
Honestly? Two dudes walking somewhere together and not talking sheet whilst walking, and ESPECIALLY if one is walking behind the other…
Seriously… When I walk with any of my boys, we are talking sheet. About anything. We’ll see a Bentley roll past with a dude drinking Moet or some shit and remark about his pinky in the air and sheet. Then we’ll talk sheet about something else. Anything. We’ll roast each other’s moms, sisters, significant others, greasy grandmas… all that. But we’re always talking sheet. You know why? Cuz there’s nothing more gay than a quiet walk outdoors. Add some explosions or some sheet and make it more better. I actually saw this phenomenon three or four times in my 3 hours in DC. And they were forcibly sagging their skinny jeans. Tuh. The nerve.
Thong Sandals. I’m sorry. If ya a$$ ain’t 2520 or raised around all 2520s or over the age of say, any age where gay sheet is done all the time (middle aged dudes are NOTORIOUSLY ambiguously gay… How they cross they legs like women when they sit down, b?), you shouldn’t wear them. Perhaps that’s just the hood in me. My only flip flops have a Velcro strap across the foot. And I wear them with socks. Unless I’m going to a public shower at the gym or some sheet…
Capri pants for men. Make them stop. What’s the point of wearing shorts that come down to your ankle? Really? What would happen if dudes decided to tie the stupid fooking strings that they let hang of the sides? Do they not do that because they feel THAT would make them look gay?
I have more, but I’ll refrain until later. Duty calls. And by “Duty” I mean “going to Twitter because I haven’t actually done any work in two weeks, yet Twitter makes it look like I’m always working hard…”
@Dante_Alexander, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
‘Capri pants for men. Make them stop. What’s the point of wearing shorts that come down to your ankle? Really? What would happen if dudes decided to tie the stupid fooking strings that they let hang of the sides? Do they not do that because they feel THAT would make them look gay?’
I’ve always wondered about that..I mean really…does that little 1/2 inch of space between your socks and the bottom of your ‘shorts’ really cool you off THAT much…I am not understanding the logic.
@Smiley Face,
The worst part? They wear them YEAR ROUND in Atlanta. And this is the Hood, too. It’s like 30 degrees outside and the kids is wearing capri pants. You know why? Because THEY COVER THE SAME AS PANTS.
There’s no need for them, other than to look gay and sheet.
@Dante_Alexander, “The worst part? They wear them YEAR ROUND in Atlanta.”
And I thought they only did that in Baltimore and Philly…
@Dante_Alexander,
maybe cuz theyre always on sale???
@Chasdizz,
The sale price should be contingent on “Walking with your wrists out” then.
Might as well.
@Dante_Alexander,
by “Walking with your wrists out” do mean “out” and “limp?”
if u do, i agree.
@Chasdizz,
Exactamundo.
They might as well switch and snap fingers and shave their heads bald and wear tiny hats and rate movies after buying those “Shants”.
@Dante_Alexander,
Lol!!!…..My father so does the leg cross and mandals…but he’s 60 and from rural (well I guess it’s all rural) Mississippi so I guess he qualifies for a pass….I’ll be sure to inform him….to which he will more than likely respond with his classic “You got to be f*#kin’ kiddin’ me”…lol!!
@TLC,
Yep…my Pops rocks the mandals too. Unapologetically.
Trust me…Texas heat will have you coming up out of shoes and socks real quick.
@miss t-lee,
The operative word for you both was “Pops”.
You automatically get a pass when you hit a certain age, because everything you do will be considered ultra gay by those 20+ years your junior.
Take for instance the dude who’s stuck in 1986. He wears the Sergio Tacchini Suit with the jacket half unsipped to reveal taco meat and skinny “perfect for buying your mom because they are all dainty and frail looking” gold chains, pants as high up on his waist as is allowed without giving him a perma-wedgie, and still sports a jheri curl and Cazals that are as big as his face, not to mention his Ellesse joints that are laced as TIGHT as vurrjin poosay.
now, if you saw said dude walking around a college campus, you’d laugh hysterically, because he doesn’t fit. However if you just saw him walking down the street, you’d automatically assume he was a 40+ dude who was stuck in his glory years and decided never to move ahead.
MY pops still wears tiger striped sweat pants and belly cut muscle shirts because he’s stuck in nineteen eighty fooking seven. I am ritually embarrased by him, and he says ultra corny sheet to boot.
But My pops gets yamps by the truckload, so I give him a pass. Cuz he be doin som gay azz sheet. Word.
@Dante_Alexander,
Thank you for perma-wedgie….lmao
and this quote
“MY pops still wears tiger striped sweat pants and belly cut muscle shirts”
I want a picture of this…lol
@Dante_Alexander,
Ellesse joints
Not the Ellesse!!! *dead*
@miss t-lee,
There is no flash photography allowed around my father for this very reason… At least not with me in the picture.
@Dante_Alexander,
You’re no fun. Absolutely no fun!!!
@Dante_Alexander,
I died @ that whole imagery.
Older black men get a pass, they don’t care no more.
@Dante_Alexander, MY pops still wears tiger striped sweat pants and belly cut muscle shirts because he’s stuck in nineteen eighty fooking seven
Hahahaahaah!!! This is HILARIOUS! My dad wore one of these! Outside! With some nut hugging jeans. It was the during the 90s when it happened. I DIED! Came home from school like WTF!
@Dante_Alexander,
MY pops still wears tiger striped sweat pants and belly cut muscle shirts because he’s stuck in nineteen eighty fooking seven
I laughed out loud for at least a good 2 minutes after reading this….LOL!!!!!!
@miss t-lee,
I was about to say.
How are the men supposed to have their feet in this unabashedly hot and humid weather? Musty feet are not the business.
@TLC,
All Mississippi is Rural.
Don’t let the media lie to you.
@Dante_Alexander,
I used to visit Mississippi every summer the media hasn’t fooled me….I KNOW better….I just say rural for the family members down there who hate to be called country or “hicks”…my cousin used to want to fight me over that one…lol!!
@TLC,
I’m sure fighting with those that “wrassel coons and possums cuz they’s good eatin” would have been difficult for anybody.
If you ever think sheet is bad where you are, it could be worse… You could live in Mississippi.
I think Arkansas, Mississippi and Alabama are in new Confederation to deny any and all people access to the current 50 years, whatever they may be.
I keed, but not really. Love you Aunt Bula! Uncle Marion you are OK with me!
@Dante_Alexander,
I give a pass on the sandals to Africans and Middle Easterners. Some of them wear sandals like it 200 BC.
@Humble_One,
Duly noted. I also give that a pass. but only FOB dudes. If you Americanized, you gets no pass…
@Dante_Alexander,
School me…FOB = “Fresh off the boat”?
@K to the…,
Ding!
@Dante_Alexander, Why all the hate to man sandals? I don’t get it?? I mean – during the summer when a man gets dressed up what is he supposed to wear? I like man sandals. I put my son in little boy man sandals. What’s the beef? I mean – they do have a bit of that old school Frankie Beverly linen shorts swag wit’ em – but what’s the alternative?
@pgh muse,
We are –>here<– e-twin. I have never quite understood the visceral dislike to man sandals.
They are quite nice if you ask me.
@pgh muse,
What kind of sandals we talking about?
We talking those joints that look like Stacey Adams’ just wit slits all over them?
Cuz I’M tambout THONG Fookin SANDALS.
The words “Dude” and “Rockin” and “Thong” have NO business around each other unless you are:
a) A baby and cannot prevent your mother from making you look like a fooking queer eye for the straight guy watcher (take that, Muse… I Joke. Seriously. But not really.)
b) A white guy who doesn’t CARE that it’s 40 below zero. He’s gonna wear those cargo shorts and flip flops ALL day EVERY day.
c) The aforementioned fashionally challenged middle aged man.
I don’t mind the sandals Malcolm wore when he realized there were white Muslims. I would never personally rock them, because I think neither a mumu nor sandals should be worn by men, but that’s just me. you can do it all you want, and there’s nothing wrong with it…
But THONG sandals are for chicks. Period. Which are for only women too.
@Humble_One, I give passes to dudes in Florida …. it’s ridiculously hot there…. but I personally don’t mind man sandals…as long as the feet aren’t totally jacked…but I guess for a dude to have beautifully pedicured feet is about 58% gay
@Dante_Alexander,
Cuz there’s nothing more gay than a quiet walk outdoors.
LOL
@Dante_Alexander, so i guess your main bullet point is that DC is pretty gay.
i’d agree.
@Panama Jackson,
Sadly, I must concur… :-\
@Panama Jackson,
As many gay dudes were in Atlanta, I’ve NEVER been a party to witnessing EVERY DUDE walking past with the aforementioned “Dude Tramp Stamp” as Champ alluded to… whilst wearing skinny jeans.
EVERY dude.
I looked at my female seat warmer, and said “I am a Pilgrim in an Unholy Land”.
@Dante_Alexander,
“Capri pants for men. Make them stop. What’s the point of wearing shorts that come down to your ankle? Really? What would happen if dudes decided to tie the stupid fooking strings that they let hang of the sides? Do they not do that because they feel THAT would make them look gay?”
LOL…I know! Capris on women are capris. But if you wear them as a man? You just floodin’. Ghey-ly.
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
today yo birfday? yesterday was mine!
‘appy birfdaaay!
@Chasdizz,
*nods*
Happy belated b-day to you! Ya know, I was due to pop out the womb on the 27th, but my baby chubbs self decided to wait and eat a bit more of my mama’s food for a day.
Leos run it, run it!
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
It is so unfortunate that the sun is no longer in Cancer….
@Dante_Alexander, Oh, no offense. He’s my cousin, but he’s from the other side of the family. The gay side.
Yeah..men riding around in those tiny little 2 door BMW’s with other dudes with the top down listening to teddy p ( a regular occurrence on 495)…*side eye*..hell men riding around in those little p*enises period get the side eye from me. highly suspect.
@Smiley Face,
*quietly giggling at this whole comment*
@Smiley Face, i can top that…
one day while i was driving into Georgetown, i found myself behind a fire truck red convertible solara and the dude in the car was blasting Mariah Carey’s “we belong together” as loud as possible and dude had SERIOUS system. basically everybody in G-town was listening to this song. but here’s the kicker, he ONLY PLAYED THE FIRST VERSE…when it ended he’d hit repeat…OVER AND OVER.
i witnessed it at least 20 times just on the trip down P street…
males with mariah carey on repeat? 98 percent gay.
@Panama Jackson,
I knew his girlfriend. She told me all about him. Assessment:Accurate.
I can top that, tho, P…
5 dudes in a Tercel bumping “No Scrubs” at its loudest, and dancing in the car as if it were the crunkest of Lil Jon songs.
The gayest sheet I’ve ever seen growing up in The D. EVER.
@Dante_Alexander,
“5 dudes in a Tercel bumping “No Scrubs” at its loudest, and dancing in the car as if it were the crunkest of Lil Jon songs. ”
Oh, snap! This is not only ghey, but it breaks some sort of male code. Why THAT song? lol
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
The irony and overtly gay overtones of the situation made me forget about the dude in the car on the OTHER side of me in the passenger seat while his girl drove… with his shoes off and feet outside the window.
I SWEAR it was the gayest weekend in Detroit history, and we don’t even HAVE a gay pride parade or whatever.
@Dante_Alexander,
5 dudes in a Tercel bumping “No Scrubs” at its loudest, and dancing in the car as if it were the crunkest of Lil Jon songs.
you’re making this up. this can’t possibly be true
@The Champ,
I sheet you not. I was in High School, and this was on Jefferson Ave right in front of the entrance to Belle Isle.
I wasn’t alone in the whip, neither… there are two others who can vouch for this story.
Those dudes have provided countless hours of punchlines and jokes over the last 10 or so years…
@Panama Jackson, seeeeeeeeee *side eye* that sh*t ain’t right! maybe he was contemplating suicide…? *shrugs*
@Smiley Face,
This reminds me.
Straight men in VW Beetles = Ghey! That is a mathematically logical equation. It has been proven. Get your Barbie Dreamhouse arse outta that contraption and get a real car.
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
I guess the same goes for mini coopers.
@Omar,
Nuh uh… The Minis got some serious engines!
Plus, they are classic!
@Sula,
Man Mini’s are car jewlery. If a cat don’t up n get a porche or a evo. I don’t know if they gay or not. Maybe for Americans cuz we tall n sh*t
@Smiley Face, speaking of smiley faces….
if a man sends me a smiley face*….they are at least 45.55% gay.
i.e.: “my day was coo
”
faq u mean ninja?
*sending a smiley whilst discussin “adult things” = 31.1% gay
guy2guy smileys = 102% gay
@Chasdizz,
“faq u mean ninja?
*sending a smiley whilst discussin “adult things””
HAHAHAHA….I love it.
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh,
‘Next point, skinny jeans on guys….105% gay’
COSIGN…wtf?! Can your package breathe? How in the hell…what in the world.. how do you stuff yourself wearing them thangs? It look like it hurts!..walking around like somebody is pushing you in your back or has you yolked up by your collar!
@Smiley Face,
How can your package breathe…ummmmmmm, it can’t!!! I feel like there has to be some kind of separation act that takes place…like balls go to the left and the duck goes to the right…which is terrible because they were meant to “hang” out together!! LOL!!!
*DEAD* @ yolked up by your collar!!! LOLOL!!!
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh,
I cant breathe!!
‘like balls go to the left and the duck goes to the right…which is terrible because they were meant to “hang” out together!! LOL!!!’
The visual has my DYING!
Dudes over 35 who still have roommates are suspect and/or dudes living in house full of nuccas, will make me cast a mean side eye.
That Train sh*t is DEF suspect LOL
Supossed str8 men who hang with openly gay men. not that you have to be homophobic and can’t be cordial or cool with folks of all orientations but going to dinner with a group of gay men and also hanging out in their crib etc makes me think you are apart of the club honey LOL
@OrangeStar616,
Supossed str8 men who hang with openly gay men. not that you have to be homophobic and can’t be cordial or cool with folks of all orientations but going to dinner with a group of gay men and also hanging out in their crib etc makes me think you are apart of the club honey LOL
is there a limit on the number of openly gay friends you can have before you cross the 50 percentile threshold?
@The Champ, “is there a limit on the number of openly gay friends you can have before you cross the 50 percentile threshold?”
Probably 1, you might get a pass if you knew dude before he knew he was gay…
@The Champ,
2, unless you ain’t know the dude before you hit 21. Then its 1. seriously.
If you knew him when he was still in the closet and had girlfriends that were insanely hot, yet all he did was pinch the beetch, you can give him a slight pass.
But if you met him at work and went to happy hour at 27 thinking you two were gonna get chicks and he tells you something like “I like dudes”… Realize that if you keep him as a friend and consistent bar hopping partner you are 173% gay.
@Dante_Alexander, LMAO @ 173 %
@OrangeStar616, i’ve hung out with a bunch of gay dudes before. one of my best friends is gay so when i hang with him, its inevitable that there will be a bunch of gay dudes around.
no way around it. now, if my boy isn’t there, then i rarely if ever even see these other cats…
i also used to manage a club that had gay night.
damn…how gay AM I?
@Panama Jackson,
Do they somehow pass all the hot chicks that love them your way? Cuz that’s how life SHOULD be… That would make them better wingmen than your boy who goes overboard with the Isse Miaki, drinks Jack shots all night and somehow loses his shirt in a tragic latrine accident, right?
If that’s the case, you get a pass, sir.
@Dante_Alexander,
Issey Miyake. Sorry I have to stan for the Japanese where I can.
@Panama Jackson, so if dude is one of your best buds you’ve known him a good number of years then????
There are exceptions LOL
@Panama Jackson, one of my best friends is gay so when i hang with him
I think this is really nice. that is the first time i’ve heard a story like this from a straight man. i think it’s great.
@pgh muse,
Agreed.
@OrangeStar616,
I can’t co-sign on this…back in the day in South Carolina my crew used to roll with gay, straight, bi-sexual males AND females…AND we did the straight AND gay clubs.
Heck, I was the shadiest one of them all because they used to send me after the boys we thought were straight and get them to hang out with us (i.e. Walk up and get his number, put them on secret three way calls, say I can’t chill with them tonight but I’m with my peeps and they could come too). I had a 100% success rate on pulling guys…
I had to stop when we were in NY for New Years in 06 and I got these dudes to come over in the diner…every dude at my table was gay or bi and the dudes that walked over turned out to be Army rangers…everyone pretended to be VERY straight and I quickly sent them away.
We were a fearsome presence to behold LOL. All the gay clubs are lame now though…the Kids are just in it to get it.
Things I would add to the list
1.Dudes that stay too clean.
I usually find there is something sneaky or untrustworty about these cats. There is something wrong with a dude that keeps his appearance up constantly. You telling me you never let your beard wolf or don’t iron your clothes?
2. The tight pants phenomenom.
I don’t get it. The only people that I saw wearing tight pants were women and gay men. Now it’s cool? Or is it a cheap vasectomy?
3. Dudes judging other dudes on appearance.
This is so borderline. This is what women do. Dudes kill me with “he doesnt look like he should be with her” or thinking a dude is hard just by looking at him.
@Humble_One,
or thinking a dude is hard just by looking at him.
this double entendre is gay.
@The Champ,
*dying*
I may need to sit my homie down, and tell him it is okay to come out of the closet. He exhibits many of the behaviors in this entry.
Kisses and tells to the point that holding convos with him is nigh impossible.
Sending pics and vids of himself boning chicks to the homies.
Popping in porn DVDs at random.
MMA fanatic.
Has a mancrush on Floyd Mayweathers Jr. and Sr.
Is a really big fan of the choo choo train.
Bought the Year of the Gentleman for Best Buy.
Owns a webcam.
Has not played team sports in years, but will still ass smack and chestbump.
Group showering at the gym or after games is so gay, that I could never do it.
@Legendary Dash,
“MMA fanatic.”
I just can’t get into this. Maybe I’m old school but I like boxing better. I just don’t find 2 men in breifs on top of each other until one says “uncle” appealing.
@Humble_One,
I can’t watch it because it is not real mix martial arts the way that the Gracies intended it to be. It is now pretty much just BJJ, Wrestling, with some dirty boxing mixed in. When it first started it was really about whose art was the best. You had Capoeira in the early UFC. Now it is just oiled up men in boy shorts rolling around for 5 minutes at a time.
@Legendary Dash,
I feel the same. I can appreciate the Gracies because there was some skill or philosophy behind it. It just seems like brawlers that picked up a few martial arts moves.
@Legendary Dash,
The Gracies made BJJ beautiful and I attend the school of one of their students who still sees them BUT…
The reason MMA is the way it is now is because when UFC first started Royce Gracie would just choke out whoever he was competing against. To defend against BJJ the other martial artists HAD to learn at least the basics of BJJ…and then it occurred to folks that the more you know the better you can counter…and you go from there.
Now with that said I can’t watch any match with that douchebag Brock Lesnar…he just sits on people and hits them. That Frank Mir match at UFC 100 was garbage…I loved their first match when he Lesnar tapped out on a kneebar LOL.
@Legendary Dash, your boy did all of that?
or is that just your list.
if he did all of that, he’s gayer than two elves frolicking with 6 leprechauns.
@Panama Jackson,
MMA and Greco Roman wrestling are to heterosexuality what WaterBoarding is to pacifism.
That is all.
@Panama Jackson,
He did those things. I actually got the grainy vid of him boning some broad yesterday. I told him I believed him when he said he smashed, but he just had to give me proof.
@Legendary Dash, WOW
@OrangeStar616,
re-WOW!
@OrangeStar616,
I want to chalk up his over bragging to being an only child, and growing up with no one to shine on. It is just a theory though.
@Legendary Dash, Popping in porn DVDs at random.
The fact that you mentioned this means that incidents like this happen often…
I cant understand this. Where is this acceptable?
@Mr. Mister,
He is not the only one who does this. I was at a barbershop and the cats popped in a porno. The commentary was hilarious, but I was uncomfortable with the thought of my barber having an erect penis that close to my face.
@Legendary Dash,
“Owns a webcam.”
Oh, yeah, this slew of celeb ninjas like Chris Breezy, Soulja Boy, and Omarion OD-ing with their webcams to capture pics of them lifting their flimsy tank tops to show their abs is all kinds of ghey.
….
As if anyone ever assumed otherwise about them.
That cover of ESSENCE that had all the dudes with no shirts on, all oiled up and posing REALLY close to one another, oh man, that was super ghey.
Men giving other men E. Lynn Harris novels under any circumstance, ghey.
If you a grown arsed man, in the club, on the dance floor and you throw your hands up in the air without being instructed to by the DJ, ghey.
If you are on a video, with no shirt on, getting emo over a R.Kelly song that isn’t I BELIEVE I CAN FLY while some dude is consoling you and then you are swallowing petroleum jelly because your throat is dry, you sir, are Stephon Marbury.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“Men giving other men E. Lynn Harris novels under any circumstance, ghey.”
Too soon…lol
@miss t-lee,
lol…yes, too soon.
Interestingly enough, I was at the gayest of places when the news broke out on the radio: the hair salon.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“If you a grown arsed man, in the club, on the dance floor and you throw your hands up in the air without being instructed to by the DJ, ghey.”
I would like to add men that pop their @ss in the club. This is a skill no man should have.
@Humble_One, if you a dude up in the club dancing it up like Leroy from FAME complete with high kicks…you’re the human torch.
happy born on date, Cheekie
@T. Troy Stewart,
Thanks, babe.
@(Birfday) Cheekie, happy bday!!! enjoy your day, thanks for sharing your hilarious spirit lol
@overit, thanks so much!
@(Birfday) Cheekie, happy birthday to you Cheekie!
@Liz,
Thanks, girlie!
@T. Troy Stewart,
LOL.Leroy.Oh no.
Why were his cornrows always so nasty looking?.
@Humble_One, unless you’re in Florida and it’s 1996 in which case this is perfectly acceptable behavior
@T. Troy Stewart,
That cover of ESSENCE that had all the dudes with no shirts on, all oiled up and posing REALLY close to one another, oh man, that was super ghey.
AY! That wasn’t ghey at all…that was heaven!!! lol
@K to the…,
Farreal. They sacrificed for the womens, ya’ll. They know how much we love boxes of chocolate so they
shimmiedbunched all close so they can all fit in the frame.It was visual ecstasy.
@K to the…, that was SupaGhey.
@T. Troy Stewart,
that was SupaGhey.
Hmmm…you must be light-skinned! lol j/k
@K to the…,
LMFAO. Tell ‘em!
@K to the…, yeah I am LOL what does that have to do with this (why I am scared to ask that now LOL)
@T. Troy Stewart
Because from the specific Essence cover I recall…the men on the cover were Sexual chocolates!!! Yummm!
But no love lost…I likes all complexions.
@T. Troy Stewart,
If you a grown arsed man, in the club, on the dance floor and you throw your hands up in the air without being instructed to by the DJ, ghey.
Can I get a ruling on this: What if its a reggae song and you’re throwing up the 2-finger salute (of course while maintaining the mean-mug and making intimidating noises)?
@Dorian G., pass for the ragamuffins.
@T. Troy Stewart,
I wouldn’t call the cover gay as Essence is marketed as a women’s magazine. Had it been the cover of GQ or King (RIP) then I think it would have been suspect.
I met this cat that was so infatuated with Lil Wayne, he has magazine pics all over his wall, has Lil Wayne’s image tatted on his upper arm, and he was rocking a hat at the bar that said “Wayne’s Property.” If that ain’t gayer than Miss Jay at a Pride parade…I don’t know what is!!!
@K to the…,
I met this cat that was so infatuated with Lil Wayne, he has magazine pics all over his wall, has Lil Wayne’s image tatted on his upper arm, and he was rocking a hat at the bar that said “Wayne’s Property.
to quote cheese, this is some shameless sh*t
Some things that seem suspect to me are…
Rappers (any dude) who professes to “love” his ninjas and exhibit behavior that shows he hates women is a little gay.
Having a live in entourage (especially if over 30) – most people who have an entourage are famous and can likely have a lot of women yet for reasons unknown to anyone these grown ass men opt to live with a bunch of dudes, just sayin… it’s worse if its one dude, yall are basically common law married.
Large amounts of pink and purple clothing – I’m talking about more than a tie. It seemed weird to me that as soon as that became acceptable there were a bunch of guys who seemed like they just had a whole wardrobe of pink clothes ready and waiting.
Dudes watching pr0n in a group – I’ll never forget walking into a dorm room and seeing a bunch of guys huddled around a TV and at least two of them had their hands in their pants. That’s not a group activity for straight men. One guy (who happened to be extra militant and in the “new black panthers”) actually commented on how big someone’s dick was. After that I kept a safe distance from all of them especially the one with penis envy.
Conversations in the bathroom/shower – This should be self-explanatory and for some reason white people find nothing wrong with this. If you are wondering how I would be in a position for someone to talk top me in the shower, I was in the army.
@Omar,
Dudes watching pr0n in a group – I’ll never forget walking into a dorm room and seeing a bunch of guys huddled around a TV and at least two of them had their hands in their pants.
did you stay?
@The Champ, “did you stay?”
Nope
@Omar,
So if you made a lot of money you would rather live with random women instead of your ni99as?
Apparently you never heard of the following:
Child Support
Alimony
Judicial Anal Assault (ask Nas and Paul from the Beatles)
@Dorian G., “So if you made a lot of money you would rather live with random women instead of your ni99as?”
Neither, I just want to be able to have a woman over from time to time without having to kick people out or put stupid ass signs on the door.
“Child Support
Alimony
Judicial Anal Assault (ask Nas and Paul from the Beatles)”
I hope your answer to child support is NOT giving up on women otherwise I don’t see the relevance.
@Omar,
In fact I could argue that dude’s with entourages are already paying child support… I’m just sayin…
@Omar,
Oh then you just need to get your Vinny Chase on and get a crib big enough for all y’all.
1 come up, WE ALL CAME UP
@Omar, @ the entourage thing, very similar to one of my comments, I’m trying to tell you LOL
after reading all comments so far…
A lot of y’all ninjas are some Nazis, LOL….
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Word.Life.Stop.
“being violently homophobic”
Yes, this is the top offender. Ninjas that go outta their way to denounce homosexuality are usually butt-chex prone. Like the overally conservative politicians right down to ol dude on Real World Chicago that said he used to bully gay guys when he was in high school. Chris, I think his name was?
“intentionally sagging your pants. ”
I always wonder why this is so widespread, considering it means you’re “available” in jail. lmao
Other list o’ gay acts by straight men:
- Slapping booties at b-ball games. See, how I made it infinitely more gay by saying “booties” instead of “butts”? Totally intentional.
- Karaoke
- Snapping your fingers for anything, even if it’s calling the waiter. It looks arrogant AND gay
- Bending over
- Smiling (I kid!)
- Carrying murses…in fact, LV luggage counts here too.
- Eating Now ‘N Laters (pronounced nounlaytahs) and making that pop sound with your mouth, though involuntary at times, it’s still gay (see male hairdresser in Baby Boy to hear accurate portrayal of said pop sound)
- Singing along to Maxwell songs or any sensual R&B songs
- Chewing gum
- Not wishing Cheekie a Happy Birfday today
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
I agree with all except Chewing Gum.
However, I JUST realized that chewing gum as an emulation of another man (Mike Jordan) is gay, too, even though I only do it on the hoop court.
So I guess that’s that.
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
Happy Birfday, Cheekie!!
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
happy birthday and sh*t
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
- Carrying murses…in fact, LV luggage counts here too.
Yeah, those LV WRISTLETS attached to belts = MAD GHEY!!!
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
And oh yeah, happy birfday!!!
@pgh, Champie, K to the,
Thanks, ya’ll!
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
Happy Burfday Cheekie!!
@Humble_One,
Thank you, O’ Humble One.
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
Yo happy Birthday Cheekie
@WuDaMan,
Thanks, Wu!
@(Birfday) Cheekie, karaoke is not ghey! I say this because I love karaoke and I’m always trying to get my male friends to come along….okay well maybe it’s 11.3% ghey….unless you sing anything by the village people, madonna, george micheal or any boy band (except New Edition or the Jackson 5 cuz I luv them)….in which case it becomes 113 % ghey
and Happy (belated) birthday!!!
At first I wasn’t sure you were going to pull this off, but congrats on a job well done good sir.
Bravo.
Also, does intentionally sagging skinny jeans make you more gay, or less gay? I’m thinking more gay, but since you look like the kind of cat who has some experience with smedium jeans, I thought I’d ask you.
@Big Man,
I’m thinking more gay, but since you look like the kind of cat who has some experience with smedium jeans, I thought I’d ask you.
LOL, damn. this definitely goes on my top ten list of “matter-of-fact digs at the champ”.
fraternities.
@GiGi,
sorry, don’t know why only one word made it up… joining fraternities. if the way to join a group is to spend every night over the course of several months surrounded by men who “haze” you sometimes by spanking you with a wooden board… well…
@GiGi, I always that was some suspect a** sh*t, some of the things that went on during hazing
Happy Born day Cheekie and LOL @ your list!!!!
@OrangeStar616,
Thank you, muchly!
Oh, I thought of another for a straight male:
Having the name “Aubrey”. Drake, you’re a smarty for changing it, but still the gubment says you’re ghey. No amount of flippy-floppy boobies will change that, dear.
@(Birfday) Cheekie,
Happy birthday chick!!!
@miss t-lee,
Thanks, girl!
I remember I found this incredibly ghey just watching it on Grand Theft Auto III. I was uncomfortable doing drive-bys on the motorcycle even though that was easiest machine for me to drive with gang member, and it reminded me of New Jack City.
Oh, this was in response to the comment about two men on a motorcycle.
if you’re a dude and you didn’t recoil in the same manner as you did the 2 Girls/1 Cup video whenever somebody sent you a link to one of those ghey arsed BGB (Beyounce’s Ghey Brigade) SINGLE LADIES tribute videos within 2 seconds of clicking the link–Ghey.
if you didn’t do the same thing when watching the D’Angelo Untitled video–Ghey
if you didn’t give Birdman & Lil Wayne the sideeye when them fools were kissing one another and trying to justify it–you’re Ghey, too.
@T. Troy Stewart,
Man, Baby might actually like men. Not only do you have the aforementioned gay picture, you have the fact that Baby has the names of multiple men tattoed on his body. And, the fact that he openly encouraged all men in the world to engage in butt chex because it feels better. Granted, he was talking about doing that with a woman, but considering the other violations, it’s suspect. Also, he used the term “prison love” to describe what he and Wayne have.
Ghey. Period. He is Wayne’s Chris Stokes.
…and another thing…dude…why do you constantly comment about my heels, boots whatever :/..I can’t get through the office door without you examining what inch heel I’m wearing like you want to take a walk …sashay Shantay *snap*
and then you kill me with saying “both of my wives thought I was gay” really..? I wonder why…I wonder why.
Dudes constantly commenting on a woman’s shoe…yeah highly suspect.
@Smiley Face,
I sometimes comment on women’s shoes just so they will think I am not only eyeing their booty and breastases game. It takes half a second to make not of, and comment on a chick’s shoes. You can then go back to evaluating her other assets.
@Smiley Face,
“Dudes constantly commenting on a woman’s shoe…yeah highly suspect.”
Not completely…he could also have a foot fetish.
*don’t ask how I know*
@miss t-lee, alot of men have foot festishes, LOVE to see women in heels… I had one dude just @ lunch time ask me where my heels @ today LOL…..then on another occasion this dude approached me on the street in chinatown wanting me to model my feet on his website for foot fetishes LMAO
@OrangeStar616,
“then on another occasion this dude approached me on the street in chinatown wanting me to model my feet on his website for foot fetishes LMAO”
I’ve had a similar offer…lol
@miss t-lee,
not when he comments on what outfit I wore the shoes with last week, lol! i.e ‘didn’t you wear that black dress with those last week?’
yyyeeeeaaahhh…
@Smiley Face,
You’re right…it’s a bit different then.
@Smiley Face, Dudes constantly commenting on a woman’s shoe…yeah highly suspect
I actually really like it when a man has a positive opinion about something I wear… a man noticing the details of an outfit shows that he’s paying attention. Definitely does not get a side eye – unless he wants to know where I bought them so he can get his own pair. That’s a little different.
I’m kinda surprised nobody mentioned man pedicures in Le Spa chair… Now I’m all for a man keeping his feet all nice, but I will sorta admit that the spa chair makes it look less masculine…because of the necessity of the act I’ll say it looks 15% ghey?
@Happy Meal,
the chair itself makes it at least 37 percent gay
And Happy Born day Cheekie!
@Happy Meal,
Thanks! Do I get a happy meal?
I am over here cracking up!! You are a mad man!! Who thinks of this type of stuff & do you think of it before or after playing with your stamp collection on Friday nights?!?!
@Yaa,
stamp deez
@The Champ,
Champie, that’s gonna hurt.
Can I add that I can’t even bring myself to watch stuff like America’s Next Top Model because you have dudes showing women how to walk, dress act and saying negative ish if a lady has some Tee &Ayy.
Let me produce a season of ATMN…I dare you, Tyra.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“watching next top model” is one of those things that sounds much gayer than it actually is. its deceptively ungay, like eating corn on the cob and fonzworth bentley
@The Champ, I don’t know…
Heyyyy sexxy VSBs and VSSs!! I just wanted to stop by to say that, nearly 1 and 45 minutes ago, I finished the first day of the NC Bar Exam. WhoooHooo!!! One day down, one more to go!!
Also, would you consider this ghey? their jeans are a little on the smedium side…but that doesn’t mean anything nowadays. my homeboy called them ghey. i like this song, and i like the vid…and i’m right b/c i’m sexxxy, unlike PJ who’s only a measly 2x sexxy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv9VKKXwVxU
@N.I.A. naturally, awww congrats NIA!! Tha’s so bomb! Good luck on day two, and don’t waste your studying time on us till ur finished lolol.
@N.I.A. naturally,
Congratulations and good luck on day 2.
@N.I.A. naturally,
Congrats…and good luck on the rest.
About that video…I’m tripping because they can dance in those things
I can’t really go in on the skinny jeans thing because I was living in Europe when it started there…due to exposure I’m used to it…Americans are about 6 or 7 years late (it started in 2002 over there).
I’m in moderation…again. I don’t think the Mod Squad likes me…FML.
Did anyone else see all those crazy “No Homo” spoof videos…it just proves how gay the comment is
Can we go in on fraternities?
The stuff they do to get in…it must be jacked up so no one ever admits to it or talks about it…and the colors…the colors man.
Also…if you are extremely homophobic…you are probably gay. Let people live!