Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

Now Here’s Some Bad Relationship Advice….

In my family it’s my cousin James. He means well, but really, his advice is the kind to have you sitting in a jail cell on a Friday night while he’s out with your skittle-flavored vodka and that dime-piece you finagled from Whole Foods, aisle 9.

James is the provider of some of the worst advice ever. For instance, while at a family barbecue when I was 22, James suggested that I should take two shots of Henny followed by two shots of Grand Marnier “because I could handle it”. “Borrowing” my Grandmother’s Crown Vic? All my cousin James. In his mind, Grandma didn’t really use it anyway and it was a shame to have it sitting in the driveway all pristine and getting no real burn. I paid for that one dearly.

That damn Cu’n James.

Have you ever had skittle-flavored vodka? One of my kids god parents introduced me to soaking skittles in vodka. It tastes like Kool-Aid for real.

And speaking of my child, she will be 4 years old on Sunday. Where has the time gone?

Back to the terrible relationship advice. If there’s one thing that everybody has an opinion on, it’s relationships. Hell, our entire blog was founded upon the principles of love, peace, and hair grease. We’ve probably doled out bad advice here on occasion. Though real spit, at the end of the day, nearly all (good) relationship advice can fall into three categories: 1) you should talk to them and not me; 2) treat people like you’d like to be treated; and 3) trust yourself and your instincts.

Oh, and if you feel compelled to have to snoop (no gin and juice) to prove to yourself what you already know, you should probably just walk away and realize your mind has already decided what your heart hopes isn’t true.

Anyway, much like my cousin James, I’ve heard lots of terrible relationship advice over the years…here are some doozies…

1. “We ain’t getting no younger, girl let’s just get married…”

Well, that was from Jagged Edge’s song, “Let’s Get Married”. Which isn’t bad advice to give to your homeboy as long as no women are in earshot. There are just certain pieces of advice that do well with men but women will take as being devoid of though, sensitivity, and compassion. And that’s probably true most of the time. We’re men. We do man sh*t.

2. “Put yourself out there. What’s the worst she can say, ‘no thanks?’”

In theory, this is perfect advice. But you know that beer commercial about superstition and football that says “it’s only weird if it doesn’t work”, yeah. Anybody who has ever put themselves out there and been rejected KNOWS that “no thanks” is never the end of it. There’s always the awkward silences then there’s the pain of realizing you just made yourself look like a fool. Not only does it hurt, but NOW you have to avoid said person for at least a few weeks because no amount of humor is going to make the situation any less embarrassing.

3. “Women may say “no” but they really mean yes. They want you to take it..”

Otherwise known as the rape special.

4. “You should give him a chance, he seems nice and he says he changed…”

It seems like most women have that one homegirl with very little common sense. I could be overexaggerating but I’ve witnessed that exchange in person. More than once. More than twice. It usually doesn’t end well. Optimism is the key to life though and you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, plus two wrongs don’t make a right…and nothing’s wrong as the night I left you guessing…all that jazz….you’ve got the jazz, we’ve got the jazz…..

5. “You should surprise him at his job or house when he least expects you to be there. Men LOVE surprises.”

This shouldn’t be bad advice but it usually only comes from a friend trying to convince somebody who is only dating another person that they should effectively take a chance on setting themselves up and hoping for the best. Plus, men do not love surprises. At all. Trust me.

So what is the worst relationship advice you’ve heard? And what’s the worst relationship advice you’ve followed? It’s Friday. Dish it.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONISTS aka MR. UNCLE FATHER aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • chameleonic

    [*full blown guffawing*] panama, youre awesome….

    trust yourself and your instincts = sage advice and instincts are very quiet. whispers in your psyche much like the one you hear when you read except theyre gentler. easier to overlook and dismiss yet instincts are so about what the subconscious mind takes in they are almost mystical in accuracy. instincts are the miss cleo of personal advisement which is why when im doing important things, sacred things, life altering things…i do them sober.

    i need to hear myself.

    i cant really say off the top of my head what the worst advice ive ever gotten was, but, i can say taking other peoples advice usually makes things worse for me. sometimes i will when im truly stuck but for the most part i just do my own thing and learn what comes natural to me. at the same time though i can honestly say im in pretty sound hands considering how well my inner self has been flowing. good peoples round here, good peoples.

    soooo, lol @ the whole no means yes thing. theres definitely males i draw a line with and not in a coy manner, or playfully, but in a way that clearly communicates i know youre potentially violent and threatening so there are boundaries with me you shouldnt cross. and they do it anyway. it definitely is akin to verbal or s*xual assault, at the very least, restraining order level harrassment. then theres men i play with.

    the big league boys. you want them to take it but you have to clarify ‘nope, not good enough’ even though youre secretely already caught up. feelings are a very easy thing to develop and as strong as they may be for someone, sometimes you just wanna feeeel them. so no comes along with come harder. its not no so as much as it is a push back in the throws of a moment when you honestly just want them closer. but. anywho. its fun.

    skittles flavored vodka. i will take your word its good so as long as its in a really cool cup.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      its good. i promise. and thanks for calling me awesome.

  • B. Brown

    I can’t recall receiving any bad relationship advice, but since I’m up and feel like participating I’ll go back to undergrad and offer up a ‘bad dating advice’ story.

    (May as well since my niceness is keeping me awake. Sigh.)

    I’d been out of a relationship for about a year and my mom suggested I do the actual “dinner and a movie” type date thing. She didn’t say it in terms of a contrast, but we all know the alternative – the whole “chill” phenomenon that had been fairly successful, but wasn’t going the way I wanted.

    Long story short, the whole thing was an abject failure. I got nothing but a high credit card balance…that I wasn’t able to wipe out until (coincidentally enough) the next time I was in a relationship…which was with someone I met and courted using the “chill” thing.

    Moral of the story: stick with what works.

    • Asiyah

      LOL!

  • msdebbs

    The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one….uh tried that and failed (a few times). Skittles and vodka?? Sounds like a good d*mn combo….i’m in!

    • WIP

      BOL!

    • Tristan

      well maybe u got under the wrong one

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      It’s also bad advice for men, except its not even advice for us, its just what we do.

      And um, by that I mean, “we get under a new woman”…not a new man.

      • Kaname

        And um, by that i mean, “we get under a new woman”…not a new man.

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

        • Kaname

          Darn you quotes *shakes fist*

          not a new man.

          Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

      • eazy253

        GFTOH

      • eazy253

        GFTOH

    • namia

      aww sorry, it worked like a charm for me :-) gd thing because i dont believe in staying down

    • Rewind

      That skittles & vodka is as close to some lean as you can get without buying cough syrup

    • Asiyah

      maybe you should go on top instead of under next time

      • esa

        mHmm ..

      • YeahSo

        lol

    • Wild Cougar

      Works for me. Except when I actually love the guy.

      • Kema

        *sigh*

  • Stanley

    # 2 is not a bad advice. It’s a good one.
    As personal as a relationship is, if a man doesn’t take a NO personal he will move on to the next.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Like I said, it’s good advice in theory. It should be how everybody approaches life. It just forgets to mention everything else that comes along with that rejection. And who doesn’t take “No” personal? At least for a little while.

      • Tristan

        no one asks you out expecting a no, it isnt sales

        • H.H.H.

          i always expect a no. tempers expectations.

          • Aly

            This makes me sad.

            • Kaname

              It is reality for many unfortunately.

            • H.H.H.

              such is my life. *slight smile*

              sometimes, its better for a love not known at all.

          • Rewind

            As do I, can’t steal my thunder if I never expected to have any in the first place.

            • Aly

              Y’all need hugs… and a pep talk.

              • Rewind

                Nah, I’ve got the confidence, but let’s be realistic…if I talk to a girl…what number am I in the list of men that tried to talk to her that day? #31? #12? #144? You never quite know what to expect or what’s going on with her that day..so at least if we go in guns blazing, we won’t be upset if they don’t hit the target.

              • H.H.H.

                consider the landscape tho…the application of a realistic mindset, especially when one is just a regular cat, is quite necessary in navigating the relationship battlefield.

                • Aly

                  I can understand that, but do you think that women can sense your “negativity” (not quite the word I’m looking for, but…)? I just think that if a man steps to me expecting a “no” this shows a lack of confidence and I would be able to pick up on that.

                  • H.H.H.

                    no…i can hide the ‘i know i’m gonna get a no’.

                    besides when i know i’m gonna get a no, i just relax and not worry about it…which gets the desired results *shrugs*

                    • H.H.H.

                      i mean, i suppose it gets the intended results.

                    • chameleonic

                      [*doesnt say a single thing about the actual reality of how a woman feels about your way of being*]

                    • chameleonic

                      ….lol, actually. i do have a small confession to make. a few posts back one of the guys linked us to an old vsb post and i saw ‘peter parker’ had your current avi. i was so elated. i had the biggest crush on you but i didnt know pp = kj. i had a fan moment like ‘omg, he talks to me!!’ but im not saying that uber embarrassing isht out loud….

                • YeahSo

                  I’m gonna have to disagree with Aly (love you boo!)… I think that’s wise, men tend to be too cocky naturally anyway… come down to Earth and realize yup you’re not everyone’s type. Good for you!

                  • Aly

                    Lol, love you too :)

  • Obsidian

    “I just see code.”
    -Cypher, “The Matrix”

    Excellent topic panama; ive been waiting for this one…

    It is my considered view that the whole of the industrial black relationship advice complex is largely woefully, embarassingly wrong, with a few notable exceptions notwithstanding; i find that which passes for such things in the afrosphere and beyond to be based on little more than a motley crue of socalled folk wisdom, hackneyed understandings of the bible and pseudo-pop pablum aimed at pandering to largely what sistas want to hear. Rarely if ever, is there anything coming close to empirical study done on matters relating to, well, relating; almost never is a socalled relationship expert in black usa forming his/her analysis on data-driven information. It all comes across as one big huge hustle at best; an embarassingly ignorant blind leading the blind show at worst.

    The utter lack of an empirical focus and/or novel insights into human mating on the part of the afrosphere, the sheer embarassment of it all, is compounded by the fact that the afrosphere boasts among the putative best and brightest in terms of educational attainment. Given this fact it is a true wonder as to why we continue to fail so badly.

    Then theres the fact that what “advice” exists in the afrosphere tends to be undeniably tilted in favor of sistas or failing that whatever sistas want to hear; the notion that there can be/is/should be a unisex approach to such things, is utterly laughable if the stakes werent so high. By now it is common knowledge that mens and womens brains are literally wired differently; why then would both have the very same mating strategies? This grand folly then, only serves to heighten massive fissures already extant between the sexes in black usa-and yet it is useful: black male relationship bloggers have little to gain by arming potential competitors with the tools to get er done. It is a heck of a way to have a steady pool of potentially available women to sup from. And when brothas are specifically addressed its almost as an afterthought.

    We seriously need a resolution.

    My entire reason for being is to provide the tools to assist black men get the relationships they desire, however they may define them: realtime intel, based on cutting-edge scientific discoveries and insights; empirical data culled from the latest studies and researches; and proven strategies that shown themselves highly effective after numerous in-field tests, again, based on and largely informed on all the aforementioned factors and metrics. Notions of “trust your heart” and the like have no place in this model-nor should it. We dont approach any other area of our lives in such a whimsical manner;why should this be any different?

    In sum: the whole of the black relationship advice industry, is a failed enterprise. It exists to do little more than act as a promotional vehicle for many within it to line their pockets and have their names ring out, while assuaging the bruised egos of its predominantly female audience and their make hangers-on. Little is offered in the way of actual results that can be tracked and independently verfied; entertainment seems to be the sine qua non, not enlightenment or practicality.

    All that is about to change.

    It ends now.

    Now adjourn your asses…

    O.

    • Perverted Alchemist

      “In sum: the whole of the black relationship advice industry, is a failed enterprise. It exists to do little more than act as a promotional vehicle for many within it to line their pockets and have their names ring out, while assuaging the bruised egos of its predominantly female audience and their make hangers-on. Little is offered in the way of actual results that can be tracked and independently verfied; entertainment seems to be the sine qua non, not enlightenment or practicality.”
      -
      This is a dirty little secret that most people in that industry aren’t willing to admit. The primary reason why that industry is seen as a failed enterprise has a lot to do with who’s involved in it.
      -
      Most of the people giving advice come from a rather questionable place as far as their personal lives are concerned. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to connect the dots with people like Steve Harvey, Michael Baisden, Christelyn Karazin and those of that ilk.

    • camilleblue

      D*mn O

      - Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair – LOL!!! Sorry – I read your response and it was just like “WOW” to me – not in a bad way at all….just in a “I had to read it twice to fully understand what you were saying” way…. :) And you’re right on point about Steve Harvey and the likes…..

    • Sandpaper

      And now I need not pen a word.
      -
      @Petey
      You can relax now.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        um. sweet. lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      You know, you’re raison d’etre might be better received in general if you didn’t sound like you hated women in the process. I’d wager that a large percentage of the sh*t you say makes total sense (not just here but in general) but folks are always wary of how many shots you’re going to take at women – based in truth or not. The message doesn’t matter if the delivery sucks.
      -
      With that being said, I agree.

    • H.H.H.

      “We dont approach any other area of our lives in such a whimsical manner;why should this be any different?”

      because love, isnt logical.

      but then again, you never mentioned… “love”. So carry on.

      • YeahSo

        Exactly what I was thinking.

      • chameleonic

        love isnt logical at all nor do i believe something so whispy and fluffy should be bound by laws of science, but i do think how we interact with the opposite sex can be made scientific. men and women can interact on the basis of logic and when the logic matches, perhaps love is whimsical.

        • H.H.H.

          you can be scientific and logical in your actions and methodology, but one should (in my case, i ALWAYS) keep in mind, that inherently, humans are not logical beings, predicting logical actions from illogical beings is at best, a 50-50 flip of the coin.

          i don’t knock those that follow it, i know i have my rather Androidian mental composition, but i guess i’m still a tad bit more man than machine.

          • chameleonic

            i think im mostly machine. calculating. but i like how it feels when my thought process is similar to a mans. i think maybe line of thinking matching up makes me stop analyzing…and then i just feel gleeful and lovey and hopefully its the fully organic half of the coin.

          • Rewind

            As much as I fight it, tis true.
            -
            Many of the decisions we make, no matter how well thought out we think they are…we only made them based on a feeling.

    • chameleonic

      i somewhat agree with your points but what bothers me about relationship advice is that men often come off like theyre fathering grown women. sometimes i get the impression men are the problem solvers of the world so you go to them with your troubles, as a mate, but then it seems like women are being taught how to be good mates, how to improve their standing and such, which is something that shouldve happened in early development.

      a grown man has to teach a grown woman the basic elements of being a woman and then you have these collisions like a teenage daughter has with parental control…? the entire industry is enabling bad decision making in our community. i, as a woman, can be completely foolish and acting on things prior to full maturity and development and a relationship guru can help me make the most of it with faulty advice. its just off.

      • Nolan Voyd

        “a grown man has to teach a grown woman the basic elements of being a woman and then you have these collisions like a teenage daughter has with parental control…? the entire industry is enabling bad decision making in our community”

        Agree. I always found that dynamic suspect. But that’s the market. Women, by and large, are buying the relationship books of the people we dismiss as patronizing, silly, and “enabling bad decision making” (but not the women here). Women are attending the “relationship discussions” where mostly men are on the panel. And the appalling truth is grown-ass men AND women don’t have the fundamentals of how to honestly express interest and/or disinterest. We want magic bullets, routines, and 90 day rules. Demand and supply.

        • chameleonic

          thats how the world is now: very few of us have the fundamentals. unfortunately because dating and experimentation are the norm now, fundamentals arent necessary. just flash and tricks and game plays.

    • Rewind

      For all the truth you spit, I think you should acknowledge that your opinions aren’t just suited for men, they are just as helpful for women…if you’d stop insulting them first. Honestly homie, we are all in this together, both genders are in the trenches, and despite the fact that we are at war with each other MOST OF THE TIME…the other half the time we are actually fighting together. If we fix the minority percentage first where we actually work together, that would sincerely fix the bigger issue of why we fight each other so often.
      -
      It’s just my take. You’ve always been able to say things that keep people thinking but if you single people out, then they disregard what you have to say, and I believe good information is wasted that way.

      • Asiyah

        Basically.

      • afronica

        Yeah, O might have good advice, but I’ll never know ’cause I can’t read his stuff. One, his posts are sooo damn long (and he doesn’t paragraph break to at least make it look like it won’t be such a pain to read). Two, he is flat out brutally insulting to women, so I feel like I’m bodying my self respect if I read him. I know it’s part of the whole PUA negging ploy, but I don’t care. Who has time for that?

        • Rewind

          I get the issue with long posts, because I am guilty of them myself but being long winded sometimes is a good thing because there’s more than just one or two good points to see…however it is still your choice to read.
          -
          I think O has his own reasons for his approach and I respect them but still need to shine light on the fact that it causes a divide, the same divide that occurs when certain female posters do the same. We’re all honestly here to create dialogue, and we should stick to that format.

      • H.H.H.

        i dunno Rewind…maybe we are on different sides…shimigamis vs. quincys?

        • Rewind

          Aye….even Ishida quit his bytching and learned to work with Ichigo.

    • The Guy Formerly Know As Hmmmm

      I agree with Panama and Rewind, and I’ve said as much to you before. There is often a lot of truth in what you say but your delivery is hard for some to swallow. And I think I know why you go in the way you do (Tired of the bullsh!t and victimhood,maybe? If so I am with you) but stepping out of my own hardshell I can see why some of the women take offense. With that said I agree with what you put here, especially the first graph.

      • YeahSo

        Ehhh… anytime someone is so intentionally offensive to another human being… especially one particular group… it’s because they’ve been hurt and are bitter…
        -
        O, take your own advice and use logic- not your feelings huh. Look at history’s examples and learn from what others have discovered before you… read a few famous quotes from great philosophers and please report back how many mention insulting your audience. For you to be so smart I would think you would already know to be offensive is not the way to start a conversation, whether you’re only talking to men or not. AND IF YOU ARE only talking to men, why are you on VSB?? Clearly the majority is 1.) FEMALE and 2.) Going to read your post (hello-this is an open forum, we all see you talking sh*t). Most men, who have ever LOVED a woman (you know the ones who love their mother or daughter or sister… etc) will also be offended, maybe even uncomfortable… seems like common sense to me, why are you struggling with that concept?… especially when EVERYONE who responds to you tells you the EXACT.SAME. THING.
        -
        Clearly he’s not here to help anybody… he just on an all consuming ego trip.

        • Eps

          If he is right, then he is right. His delivery might be rough but if its factual and quite accurate, you can only be so upset.

          • YeahSo

            Eps be real… And HONEST… how many times have you listened to what someone said who was being blatantly rude? I’m cool with you not sugar coating but don’t be disrespectful… and he often has been.

    • Sweetsass

      1.) You need to learn what the word “literally” means.

      2.) You are a giant repository of awful relationship advice. And rightly should be shunned.

  • Sir Farouk

    Worst advice ever? Hmmm, telling your homegirl to put a hole in the condom so that you have his baby maybe then he will stay with you forever and you’ll live happily ever after…that might fall under hoodrat advice

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I can say that I don’t know anybody who’s ever said anything that stupid. At least I don’t think I do. Chances are I probably do.
      -
      I do know a chick who got pregnant to keep a dude. It didn’t work.

    • Rewind

      I’ve heard quite a few moms tell that to their daughters in regards to a young guy with a particular skill that could get him noterity at a young age. And the consequences, while hilarious, always piss me off because a young child suffers due to adults being complete as-sholes.

    • Wild Cougar

      That is the worst advice ever. I can’t believe people still say that.

  • The Other Jerome

    “You told Harpo to beat me”

    Yes Ms Ceile gave some bad advice that day…..

    • Tx10inch

      Literally LMBO.

    • WIP

      “Beat her” could be the worst relationship advice on record.

      • Chocolatte

        ______________flatline______________ and funny as heck

    • mena

      Done.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      *closing the piano*
      TIME TO GO.

    • YeahSo

      Smh lol

  • Perverted Alchemist

    Here’s a list of people that don’t need to give relationship advice:
    -
    Hurt and/or bitter people (Ironically, they are the first ones to offer unsolicited advice on relationships. If you happen to be a part of that group, please die in a fire- thank you…),
    -
    Celebrities with questionable dating histories (Hello, Halle Berry!)
    -
    People who have been married more than once (See: Steve Harvey and Barbara DeAngelis, for example)
    -
    Black people (I’m sorry, but way too many of you give very bad relationship advice…)

    • CNotes

      I am distracted by the adorable little one in your avi. : ) Is that you…..before you became Perverted? : )

      • Perverted Alchemist

        Nah, it’s actually the cover to Bobbi Humphrey’s classic album “Satin Doll”.
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satin_Doll_(Bobbi_Humphrey_album)
        -
        It was produced by the Mizell brothers, who produced most of Donald Byrd’s albums during his jazz fusion period in the ’70′s. It’s one of her best albums in her Blue Note era. There’s a couple of songs on this album that became well known samples.
        -
        “San Francisco Lights” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k3bz7-eUnk
        -
        “My Little Girl” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VulOAgawKdc
        -
        I thought about posting a picture of myself when I was two years old in 1977. My parents decided to take a picture of me when they caught me in the act of taking a piece of my birthday cake, LOL!

        • camilleblue

          Please do!!

        • CNotes

          NICE!!! Thanks for putting me on : )

          -

          I recognized the “Love Me or Leave Me Alone” right away in the “San Francisco Lights” track. I was addicted to that song back in the day. I did not pick up the samples in “My Little Girl”, but after some reading I realized it was because they were songs I wasn’t familiar with.

          -

          And yes….you are overdue for a pic on your avi. I think you promised to put one up not long ago. We are still waiting…. : )

    • Lyneka

      I’m sorry but “black people” as folks to avoid for relationship advice just made me crack up.

      • Perverted Alchemist

        You know I’m telling the truth, LMAO! If you don’t believe me, just sit around a bunch of Black folks one day and the topic stumbles upon dating. You’ll hear some things that will make you look at them sideways!

    • Lyneka

      I’m sorry but “black people” as folks to avoid for relationship advice just made me crack up.

    • WIP

      LOL, wow, all black people are banned from giving relationship advice.

      • Perverted Alchemist

        Not really banned, but they should refrain on speaking on certain topics concerning matters of the heart…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Hey, I’m a Black people and I give out gre….
      -
      You know what? You right.

    • Asiyah

      So since I’m not Black, all of y’all should come to me for relationship advice! I can have my own blog: “Ask me: I’m not Black.” OMG I’m excited!!!! :)

      • Brother Mouzone

        I think that’s the 438th time you’ve said “I’m not Black” in your comments…ok, we get it.

        • Asiyah

          sorry it bothers you that much. apparently some people don’t get it if I keep being asked how a Black sister such as myself is still single.

  • That Ugly Kid

    1. “Baby, since we’re dating exclusively, don’t use condoms despite the fact that I’m NOT on birth control.” – My Ex.

    Four (4) Morning After Pills/over $200 later, I learned my lesson.

    -

    2. “You should surprise your girlfriend by NOT doing anything for her on Valentine’s Day. Show her that you’re unique.” – Me.

    Let’s just say my homie’s relationship promptly ended. Which, I didn’t feel bad about. After all, this is the same chick who faked a pregnancy AND a miscarriage so my friend wouldn’t dump her. Did I mention this was in high school?

    -

    3. “Come on. Just this once. I mean, so what if it’s ‘that time of the month’?” – An Ex.

    Nope. Not even Jill Marie Jones GORGEOUSLY beautiful azz can convince me to lick, or f*ck, dead uterus. Okay…maybe SHE can…but no one else!

    -

    4. “When you start sneaking girls in the house, I won’t give a f*ck. But, if your mom catches you, I can’t help you.” – My Dad.

    Mom found out anyway. As it turns out, sounds travels EXTREMELY well in my house.

    • mirabella

      Wow. Morning after pills are really expensive where you are.

      They’re $15-$20 where I live.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Yea. I live in Chicago. They’re usually about $50-$55 here.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I’m guessing there are a lot of unintended children where you live. They’re 50 here too.

        • WIP

          That sounds like a business opportunity…

          • Aly

            WIP, always the entrepreneur… I like that :)

        • mirabella

          lol. Surprisingly no! Public healthcare for the win

      • Rewind

        Someone needs to spread that information to sections of Brooklyn, the Bronx, & Queens because NOBODY HERE SEEMS TO KNOW SUCH BASIC KNOWLEDGE.
        -
        *looks at the highways of baby strollers with evil intent*

    • Asiyah

      Why did you come inside her if she wasn’t using birth control? Pull out, playa.

      • chameleonic

        smh @ doing irresponsible things irresponsibly. some of the best videos come from women on birth control where the pull out method need not apply…

        • Asiyah

          Twas a joke.

          • chameleonic

            lol. i was actually being closetly vulgar. “why pull out when creampie videos are so sexy…” birth control though is cheaper than a morning after pill so i smh.

            • Asiyah

              ewwww lol

      • Rewind

        Pulling out can be like being an artist painting a canvas.

        • YeahSo

          eww

        • MissRae

          o_O

        • Asiyah

          ahahahahaha

  • WIP

    I’ll pass on the Kool-aid flavored vodka. That’s not what vodka is about youngin’.
    .
    The worst relationship advice I’ve heard was on TV, Love & Hip Hop, Emily’s “friend” who told her, essentially, that if she wants to keep living the way she’s living she should stop pressuring her man to give her what she needs. FTS.
    .
    I’ve never needed bad relationship advice…made enough made decision on my own. But I suppose the worst I ever took was from a friend who encouraged me to get with my first serious boyfriend. I was advised he was nice and kind often talked about how much he cared about me,etc. He was crazy. Her bad.

    • WIP

      made enough *bad* decisions…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        don’t pass on it too quickly. I’m telling you, that skittle-infused sh*t is the business. I problem.

        • Iceprincess2

          Peej, dat sh*t sounds gross! Skittles are so cloyingly sweet it’s not even funny! I got a hangover just reading this.

          • Iceprincess2

            But, dem stoli dolis at capital grill? Yes please!! Dangerously good :-)

          • Rewind

            You can use Jolly Ranchers too

            • YeahSo

              Yup did the jolly rancher thang and it was delicious.

        • Alia

          There’s a fruit loop flavored vodka out too that’s great. I’ll have to try and make this skittle version.

          • Eps

            The fruit loop vodka is clear heaven